When I went to see “Avatar”, I got in in time to see some of the adverts before things started – not just the trailers and ads, but the localised ones that show while people are coming in.

I don’t know how much they cost – they’re just basic flat ads with not much happening – but one caught my irritation all the same. It was for a company called Selesti, and was just a plain white page with blue text saying “We make websites”, and some contact details.

It was pretty much the dullest ad in the set – an achievement in itself – and really surprised me. For a company that’s supposed to be all creative and whizzy, the ad didn’t speak of any of that. It actually conveyed “We paid for this, but really couldn’t be arsed to do anything with it”.  Even if they’d used “We Write Websites” it would’ve been better, and would’ve at least implied the connection to www. addresses/domains. But no, “We make websites”.

I wonder how much business Selesti have gained through this ad at the cinema? Even more, I wonder how much they’ve lost…

If you were to get this from an agency, what would be your response?

2 urgent PHP contracts to strart in next 2 weeks

[Skillset list - I won't add it all here]

1 Junior and 1 mid/senior level

Thanks

And that’s it.

My written response was probably more civil than it should’ve been, because my mental response was “Up yours, fuckbag. You can’t even be arsed to put the location or rate, so fuck you.“

First of all I have to say that I really don’t give a tin shit about Tiger Woods, who he has (or hasn’t) shagged, or anything else about the situation. Not my business. Don’t know him, will never know him, don’t really care what he does with his life, wife, others, or anything else.

However, I did find it funny today that Accenture have decided that in light of his activities and revelations, Tiger Woods is no longer ‘the right representative’ for them.

For those who don’t know, Accenture used to be Arthur Andersen, a global outsourcing and consultancy company.

In my experience, consultancy companies come in all full of themselves and how great they are, fuck you up all over the place, charge extortionately for the privilege, and then screw off with the money, leaving a shitpile of fuckuppery behind them.

As such, I’d say that Tiger Woods right now is the perfect person to represent them…

Today I got a call from one of the agencies I’ve been dealing with, and all of a sudden everything changes.

The contract I was supposed to be starting on Monday has been cancelled. Apparently the directors of the company in question have decided that the project won’t go ahead, so they’ve pulled the budget for it.

And lo, no job for me.  All my paperwork had been signed, ID stuff sent and the like and now it’s all for fuck-all.

This is one of the things I hate about contracting over having a “proper” job – and that’s a pretty small list, believe me – that things like this can happen at the drop of a hat.  If it were a ‘proper’ job, the project decisions and budget would all have most likely been sorted well before it came round to getting someone to do the work. It’s something that seems to have been happening quite a bit this year, and it’s not something I’ve seen prior to this. Sure, I’ve had one contract come to an end before it was supposed to – and I’ve had plenty more extend well past when they were supposed to finish – but up ’til now I’ve not had to deal with ones that get cancelled before they start.

It leaves me at a bit of a loose end, as I’d already closed off the current contract to end on Friday so everything was ready for Monday’s start at the – now non-existent – new place.

So I’m back to square one. Sending out updated CVs, talking to agencies, going to interviews.

I won’t deny, it’s been a serious hit on me today – I’m not feeling great anyway, so this has just been kind of the last thing I needed. All told, it makes me want to chuck in the entire thing and head off to Pastures New (or at least Pastures Different) with a totally different job/career/work-life.

It won’t happen yet, no matter how much I want it to – but I think it’s something I need to start properly working towards.  (And I know, that’s not grammatical – I just can’t think of the grammatical way to put it)

In summary? Today’s bollocks. Next week ain’t looking good, either.

Just received this from an IT agency – nothing like short notice, I suppose…

I need a contract PHP Developer for a 3-week contract in [Deepest Darkest Essex]. The role involves building a new website for a school.

Work onsite at first but home working is also offered.

Candidates are required to interview today and it is an immediate start.

So – not overly realistic, although I suppose there might be a local developer who’s in need of immediate work…

Another in an irregular series of posts about the incompetence of agencies. (And I’ve added a new category for it, so I’ll have a trawl through the archives at some point in order to add a few more to the category)

We’ve been in Norfolk now for more than two years.

So it’s a bit of a surprise (although not entirely unexpected, due to the agency in question being a bunch of twunts) to get an email today detailing a contract in a very junior role doing HTML and CSS. For £10 per hour. In Kent.

In short, no fucking chance. And all it really shows is that this particular agency – I haven’t yet decided whether to name-and-shame, although God knows, it’s tempting – really know fuck-all about the people on their books. (Oh, and don’t update their records at all, despite repeated requests to do so)

Twunts.