Sometimes it’s really quite scary seeing just how disturbing some bunnysuits are.

Bizarrely, I was doing some research on a writing idea to get me to that site.  That’s quite worrying in itself…

It won’t give up, it wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head

© Nine Inch Nails, “The Becoming”, Downward Spiral album

That’s not quite where I am at the moment – but somehow it still seems to be the best lyric for describing things at the moment.

I’ve written before about my regular issues and history with depression, and the way I normally fight my way through it. Recently though, that’s not been the case. If I’m honest, the last three or four years have involved fighting, but only getting to an impasse, a holding action to keep ground, rather than a victory.

I’ve made lots of plans, and had the intention to do things. It’s just that I never seem to find the time or the final motivation to get them done.  I keep on trying, and I keep on failing – and at the moment there’s no good reason for Why. I just don’t get to it. That final bit, that final push, is missing, AWOL.

So I’m working on getting through it, but I’m also going to go a different route this time. I’ve a doctor’s appointment in a couple of weeks time, and I’m going to aim to get some anti-depressants. Not something I’m overly happy about, but I think it’s time for me to try them again.

I had a very negative experience with them many moons ago, so I have some really serious reservations about them. But if I can give them a go and they work, so be it. If not, it’s another avenue tried and I need to find other options. But at least I’ll be trying the avenues this time.

One of my challenges for April is to take part in Script Frenzy – a challenge to churn out 100 pages of screenplay during the month.

I don’t yet know if I’ll manage to do it – there’s a lot of stuff coming up over the next month what with one thing and another – but I’m going to give it a go. I had my reservations back in November about the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) but this time round it’s something I feel a bit better about having a go at it.

I won’t make any promises or guarantees about this right now – I had intended to have some plans and idea in place before the start of April about what’s going to happen and where it’s going to start/run/go, but I haven’t. We’ll see.

When I went to see “Avatar”, I got in in time to see some of the adverts before things started – not just the trailers and ads, but the localised ones that show while people are coming in.

I don’t know how much they cost – they’re just basic flat ads with not much happening – but one caught my irritation all the same. It was for a company called Selesti, and was just a plain white page with blue text saying “We make websites”, and some contact details.

It was pretty much the dullest ad in the set – an achievement in itself – and really surprised me. For a company that’s supposed to be all creative and whizzy, the ad didn’t speak of any of that. It actually conveyed “We paid for this, but really couldn’t be arsed to do anything with it”.  Even if they’d used “We Write Websites” it would’ve been better, and would’ve at least implied the connection to www. addresses/domains. But no, “We make websites”.

I wonder how much business Selesti have gained through this ad at the cinema? Even more, I wonder how much they’ve lost…

On occasion, I just wonder whether my brain works slightly differently to “most peoples”. Today has contained one of those occasions.

If you were running a car-hire company, would you put an ice-scraper in each car during the winter months?

I know I would – having today had to go and buy a new one. (I’ve got one in the normal car, of course – but not in the hire one. Fuckers)

I’m sure that the excuse for not doing so would be “because of the cost” when people take the scrapers for themselves afterwards. Me, I’d put some branding/advertising on them, and job done – I don’t know how much return business you’d get, but every winter those people would be seeing the name of the hire company, and be reminded of it.

Enterprise Car Hire, that’s yet another bloody trick you’re missing.

(via FailBlog) This has to be one of the best (and darkest) uses of Christmas Lights yet seen…

Bambi in Lights

The work of a fantastically sick mind.

I Love it.