Great invention, the nuclear hand-grenade. Now all we need is someone to throw it thirty miles.

Archive for the category “Festering Season”

Christmas Parks

ScroogeI don’t know when/why it started, but it now seems that part of the media’s Christmas tradition is to have a report/story about a  “Christmas Park” that opens in November and closes down after one day because of its general shitness, and the resultant litany of customer complaints.

This year, the ‘honour’ has apparently gone to ‘The Magical Journey‘, which was designed/proposed by arch-tossrag Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen

But really, what does anyone expect? These arseholic fucktrumpets are paying up to £20 a head to go and ‘see Santa’ – in November, in unseasonably warm/mild weather – and then get upset that it’s muddy, that they’ve got to queue for ages to see sodding Santa, and that really it’s all – gasp! – a bit shit.

Rather than talking to Trading Standards, I’d suggest probably getting mental health professionals involved, and getting every single one of those paying customers to take a good long hard look at themselves. For fuck’s sake.

Two Months

ScroogeJust think – in two months time from today, the whole Festering Season bullshit will be over for another year.

Not that I’m counting or anything. Honest.

[And yes, I’m aware that I do this every year. Live with it]

Just Over The Horizon

ScroogeThe Festering Season is coming.

How can I tell? (Other than the simple method of ‘look at the bloody calendar’) It really is quite simple…

  1. The bloody X-Factor has started
  2. There’s already a load of TV ads for Perfume, new console Games and shitty music compilations
  3. There’s also adverts from Park for “an Affordable christmas” for Christmas 2015, for fuck’s sorry sake.
  4. Supermarkets, not content with having chocolate selection boxes etc. out are now starting to put decorations and cards on the shelves too. (And yes, it’s still only mid-October, I know)

I’m just wondering now how long it’ll be ’til I hear the first bloody carol somewhere


All Over

ScroogeSo here we are, January 6th. Twelfth Night has been and gone, and all the Christmas decorations should have done the same.

This is A Very Good Thing.

The shops seem to stock Christmas tat earlier and earlier each year, but at least we should be free of it from now til September or so.

Normality resumes.


New Year’s Eve

ScroogeUnsurprisingly, I don’t really do New Year’s Eve.  Partly it’s that whole “Everyone else does it, so I don’t” thing I’ve written about before on here, but primarily I just don’t quite get the whole concept. OK, we go from [old year] to [new year]. Big whoop.  I get it – or at least more so – with birthdays, the anniversal thing of being another year older. (Or, more pessimistically, the celebration of having got through another shit year)  But celebrating a new year leaves me cold – let alone the whole ‘resolutions’ thing.

I suppose it makes sense in a “The new one will be better than the old one” spirit of hope and optimism over [x] years of experience, although one assumes that leaves most people really quite disappointed.

I’ve never been a fan of it though – I did too many New Year’s Eves working in pubs, dealing with pissed idiots singing “Auld Lang Syne” and being all ‘love thy fellow man’ at midnight, and kicking the shit out of each other by quarter-past. New Year’s loses its happy glow when you’re sat (for the third year running) waiting for an ambulance by half-past.

I know, I’m a grouchy old sod. I accept that about myself, and try to stop it from affecting others, and their decisions.

All the same, I’ll be quite contented tonight to be at home, just doing my own thing.

Have a good one, wherever you are, and whatever you choose to do.

Christmas Day

ScroogeAnd lo, Christmas Day is upon us once more – and hopefully some semblance of retail sanity will return soon after. (I’m not entirely convinced it’ll happen, but we can still hope/dream)

Have a good one, whatever you do, whoever you are, and whatever you believe in.

Blocked Up

In what’s close to becoming a tradition now, once I’d finished work on Friday, I almost immediately started going down with a cold. It was pretty much expected, considering how crappy I’ve been feeling the last couple of weeks anyway, but still, it’s fairly crap.

It’s meant that this has been a quiet weekend – although that was also pretty much the intention anyway, with aiming to avoid any significant shopping etc. – which has been much needed.

With luck, the cold will ease off too in time for the Festering Season.

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