Putting the cunt in constable

Archive for the category “Thoughts”


At the moment I seem to spend far too much of my available non-work time on the road, so I notice stuff around me.

Over the last couple of weeks one of the motorway gantries on my route (the ones with speed cameras on) has been out of action, so there’s been a small – but noticeable if you pay attention – yellow sign saying

Camera not in use

Today though, I noticed that it has changed, and now says

Camera now in use

And lo, there we go, seeing it flash on speeders.

It just struck me as interesting, the simple alteration of one letter that means so much, and changes the whole thing – and I wonder how many people notice/realise.

Inherently Useless

On my commutes, I regularly find myself bemused by the whole thing of performance cars – things like Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Aston Martins, AMG Mercedes and the like.

Don’t get me wrong, I do like the look of a lot of them, as well as the idea of fast cars. I love seeing them, and some of the stuff about them, the hand-made elements and so on. But here in the UK I just don’t really see the point of them.

I get that some of it is about showing off, that you can afford a fast car (as well as the petrol etc.) and fair play. Personally I don’t value myself by my possessions – large or small – and I don’t define myself by that perceived value, or that of the brand/marque that’s been chosen.

But regardless of whether you’ve got a shitty old Mk1 Ford Fiesta (or any other ‘low-end’ vehicle) or a £200,000 Mercedes SLS AMG, you’re legally limited to 70 mph. 80 at a push. And the run I do on a daily basis is populated with speed cameras and police, so it’s really not worth speeding past that – it’ll become a very expensive hobby, for sure.  So what’s the point of a car that can do 200mph, if it’ll never get there?

Sure, there’s other places you can speed, where there’s less cameras. But even then if you do get caught, it’s going to be expensive.

And then you get to the fuel consumption. That SLS gets 21mpg on the combined cycle – and I bet that drops like a stone if you put your foot down.

Great, you’ve got the money to make it feasible for you. I’m happy for you – not impressed, and not bothered, but it’s not for me, it’s for you.

Mind you, if you own that £200,000 car, it must really steam your piss to be overtaken by a shitty 13-year-old Saab that’s worth less than a hundredth of what your car cost…

Twinned Outfits

As regular readers know, I’m really not great at relationships. The whole concept of being with one person for decades leaves me cold – let alone the way some people seem to become almost symbiotic – perhaps even parasitic – beings, who can’t be separated, can’t be apart at all.

The ones that disturb me the most are the ones who also wear the same type of outfits, or at least the clothing colourschemes. I’ve seen quite a few over the recent weeks, some in my village and some around where I work.

I don’t know why it creeps me out as much as it does – although it also does so when parents make their children (and particularly twins) wear the same outfits. But I do, it does, whatever.

I suspect it’s to do with what I see as the giving up of identity, the willingness to give up things I see as most valuable.

All very weird, but such is life, I suppose. Horses for courses, and all the piss.

Anniversally Regular

Yesterday it occurred to me that this week has actually had quite a lot go on with it over the years.

Among other things…

  • On the 9th August 2002, D4D™ came into being
  • On the 9th August 2012, I declared myself bankrupt
  • On the 11th August 2003 I passed my driving test (at long last)

There’s been other stuff too over the years, but it is a bit odd to have even those three semi-major events all in one week…

Nine Years

It’s now nine years since I (finally) passed my driving test. Nine. Years.

I dread to even imagine how many miles I’ve covered in that time – it’s well over the 250,000 mark for sure, which is pretty hefty for a non-professional driver. And from that, I’ve had – and yes, I’m touching every wooden item in my presence right now – no points, no speeding tickets, no ‘speed awareness’ courses (for which I’ve always said I’d say “Yes, I’m aware I was driving at 90. Do I pass?”, but I digress)

I’ve had one accident – back in December 2009 – and killed two deer in that time.

I’ve been breathalysed twice – once just after that accident, and once two weeks later, for the well known suspicious occurrence of “driving a hire car at exactly 70mph down a dual-carriageway at 5pm on New Years’ Eve”. In both cases, blowing an absolute zero. Unsurprisingly in both cases, having not had a drink in months beforehand…

All things considered, I reckon that’s a pretty good track record. Long may it last.


Since the bankruptcy – and to a slightly lesser degree beforehand – I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to stockpile things a little bit.  Nothing hoarder-esque or anything, but just as a backup, a “just in case”.

I’ve noticed that I now tend to have that backup as being roughly a month’s worth of whatever.

For example,

  • I could get by for a month on the food I have in cupboards, freezer etc. without needing to shop.
  • I could manage on savings (already) for a month or so if jobs were to go tits-up.  That’s bills and the domestic stuff – petrol would be slightly more of an issue, but only slightly.

It’s not an obsession, or even obsessive behaviour – it’s an awareness of what can happen, and protecting against it.

Just an odd thing I’ve noticed myself doing more.

Interesting Start

On the way to work this morning, I was confronted by road closures and the after-effects of this crash.

Fairly serious – and the damage all looked pretty grim – so I hope all are OK in it.

[Update : As it turns out, they weren't. One fatal (a motorcyclist)]

Post Navigation