Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're a cunt

Archive for the category “Thoughts”

Issue Avoidance

With one of the current jobs, the agent/agency involved has been insanely needy all the way through – regularly calling, wanting to “catch up”, and generally been a complete pain in the arse.  He’s absolutely incapable of following simple instructions – for example, “My mobile doesn’t work when I’m at home, so don’t call, just email” – he’s not managed that once. Always calls three or four times, then leaves a message, and so my phone goes into meltdown when I do leave the house.

Anyway, after yet another splurge of these, he asked how the contract was going, to which I replied that it was OK, but not brilliant. He asked why, and I told him – it’s not what I’d been told, not what I was expecting, and just generally isn’t great. (It’s one of those things, and I can live with it – besides, there’s only two weeks to go on it, and I won’t be renewing/extending)

And you know what? Since then he’s been absolutely silent. No acknowledgement, no calls, nothing.

All of which just makes me think that actually, he’s a bit of a tosspot.  He’s pushed so hard for communications and catch-ups, but when he hears something that might mean doing something, he runs a mile.

It’s a safe bet that I probably won’t work through that agency again. It’s not a big issue – there’s loads of the buggers out there – but it’s just a bit annoying.

Ah well. Two weeks.  That’s all, just two weeks to go.

Too Long

While writing stuff last week, and looking back through D4D™, I realised it’s now very nearly seven years since I was last in Ireland.

That’s too long – I feel the need to return.

Something else to organise as a break for this year, then…


Following on from yesterday’s notes about being a bit flat/tired, I’m taking this weekend as being a bit slower, a bit calmer – well, by my standards, anyway.

Saturday is going to be a cinema-day. There’s a couple of things I want to see, the timings gel nicely, and the weather forecast is mediocre, so sod it, that’s the plan. An afternoon of cinema.

Sunday though is likely to be a bit sillier. Because all I want to do is curl up and do nothing, I’m going to do another day-trip. I’m unsure of exactly where yet – the main options being Reading, Whitstable or Brighton – but all are within a two-hour drive.  I’m quite tempted by Whitstable, to go and sit by the sea and generally chill out a bit.  I used to work near there many moons ago, so a bit of a revisit too. I did go back there a while back – although a site search has revealed that ‘a while back’ actually means 10 and a half years – so it’ll be interesting to see what’s changed (and what’s stayed the same) in that time.

And that’s the plan for a quiet weekend…

Flat (Again)

It’s all been a bit quiet chez D4D™ – but I’m OK. The Bronchitis is pretty much gone, bar the odd cough – so that’s good.

I do still feel quite drained and flattened by it all, though – and I think that’s what’s finally coming through this week. I have to keep remembering that it’s only ten days since I finished the antibiotics, and that I’m still fighting off the remnants.

While this year’s been pretty good so far – and how the chuff are we nearly in April, for goodness’ sake? – it’s also been pretty manically busy with work and life, and I suspect that’s having a knock-on effect as well.

Basically, I’m tired, demotivated and just a bit flat. I really can’t be arsed – particularly with work. I’m still plodding through, but it’s an effort. Sleep is always an issue with me, but I am beginning to wonder if depression isn’t rearing it’s ugly head.

I don’t think it’s depression – but then, that’s what people say when they’re depressed. It’s not at vicious levels or anything, but I’m aware that I’m just all a bit Meh.   Herself used to note that I was OK in Winter because I know I get hit by SAD , and so prepare myself for it – which means I’m less affected by it. However, then Spring comes along with longer days and more sunlight, and I relax, expecting to be doing better, and get sledgehammered by depression again when I’m not prepared for it instead.  I don’t know if that’s valid – but it’s something that’s been bouncing round my head a bit this month.

I’m going to see how things go though.  The current work situation only has three weeks left to run, at which point I’ve booked a break anyway. (Up to Edinburgh for a very chilled long weekend) Then we’ll see how things progress from there, I think.

At worst, at least I’m aware and conscious of it all, and will deal with it if necessary.  At best, it’ll ease up once the current work stuff is dealt with, and things can progress again from there.

At the same time, I’m aware that I’m in a pretty decent situation and life is looking up, so maybe I’m more just worrying about stuff, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Time (as always) will tell.


A couple of months back, I damaged my TV. Nothing major – the cats were being arseholes. I chucked a cat-toy near them, and hit the screen, resulting in a broken line of pixels, and a broken bit of display crystal so it had a bit of a blob. (Think how an LCD-display watch used to look when it broke/cracked, and you’ve got it)

It’s been a minor irritation since – not even big enough to be an annoyance, just every so often the line of pixels would flicker white and be noticeable, or the broken bit of display would be more noticeable with the rest of the screen (depending on what was on it at the time) and it was getting worse.

So anyway, this week I finally decided to replace it – and I’ve done so. It’s a bigger unit than the previous one – 32″ from the 24″ I had – which is a significant increase of screen size, that I hadn’t quite catered for in my head.  It still fits in fine, and doesn’t dominate the room the way I find lots of the really big ones do, but I think it’s at the upper limit.

What really surprises me – although it shouldn’t – is the difference in prices and screen sizes to fifteen or twenty years ago.

Twenty years ago, when I bought my own first new TV, it was the same screen size as the one now – but it was a massive beast, needing two people to lift it safely, and cost me about £800. It was a serious unit, to say the least.

Now, the same screen size – and I know, it’s an LCD/LED rather than a CRT display, which makes a massive difference – is easily carriable by me, and cost maybe a third of what that old Sony one did. Even the image quality is markedly improved. It’s quite remarkable, the way progress and changes in technology have come on in that time period. Food for thought, of what we might have in the next twenty years…


Sorry, couldn’t resist the punning title.

Health-wise, things are much improved now that I’m coming to the end of the course of antibiotics. It’s still not 100%, but all of the really rough stuff is gone, so I’m happy with that all round.

It did hit me hard though – all of last week I was in bed by 10pm, which is pretty much a novelty of epic proportions. I didn’t sleep any better – which didn’t help – but I was just wiped out by everything.

Still, things seem to be on the way up again. I’ll keep an eye on it this week, and just see how everything goes. And really, that’s all you can ask for, isn’t it?

Looking Back – 2015 vs. 2014

One thing I’ve noticed this year is that so many people who had an absolutely rotten 2014 seem to be doing much better in 2015 – myself included. (And yes yes, all hail the gods of Fate, and do not tempt them to be bastards)

It’s not any “new year new you” type bullshit – several times I’ve had conversations where friends have observed just how much easier this year has been than the last one was. There’s no viable logic for it, but it’s what seems to have happened. Friends who fought bureaucracy and uncaring jobsworths for all of 2014 have suddenly found doors opening in ’15, with additional “Oh, you should also contact [x]” type referrals that add extra beneficial factors.

From my side, the seven weeks (so far) of 2015 have been infinitely more positive than the same time last year.  Still chaotic and hyper-busy, but in far more positive ways than I’d have expected.

I’m hoping that the rest of the year maintains this initial attitude. Even if it does get a bit tougher further down the line, all I would ask for (and hope) is that it doesn’t end up as shitty as any of 2014 was.

And no, Gods of Fate, that is not a challenge being issued.

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