Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

18
May '11

Coming Off

   Posted by: lyle

Last week, I made the decision to stop taking the Citalopram.  It hasn’t done much for me in the year I’ve been taking it – other events have had far more effect on depression, motivation etc. than the anti-depressants have.  I’ve also found that they have a nasty levelling side-effect, making me not care more than when I wasn’t taking them. (By that I mean that everything was just same-same in my head, there were no real highs – or, admittedly, lows – and it all became a bit blah, nothing provoking any form of reaction)

Additonally, the anti-depressants just didn’t seem to really work for me. There were still Bad Days on them, but there weren’t really any Good Days- things more levelled out to Just OK Days. (or Blah Days)   My motivation didn’t shoot up – indeed most of the time it seemed to be harder to be motivated, because well, what was the point? I wasn’t Depressed, but more Couldn’t Be Bothered.

So, I’ve come off completely them.  It’s not the method advised by GPs, but I don’t have the time, tolerance or inclination to do a “gradual withdrawal”. If the withdrawal side-effects were to become really bad (not that I expect them to) then I have a new box ready to be started. But I doubt it’ll be that bad.

Weirdly, the worst time (so far) for being off them seems to be early evening, when my head begins to feel a bit wooly, a bit floaty, not really all that level. It’s not debilitating or unpleasant – just a weird sensation.

I don’t miss the Citalopram.

I don’t know what’s next. I’m going to go back to wanting to do things, and then to trying to find ways to motivate myself to do them. So far that seems to be OK. I’m not perfect – thankfully I’ve never claimed to be – and I do have issues with motivation, or at least Getting Things Done.

I’ll still work on the motivation and so on – I’ve still got the ideas and plans, but need to bring them out into the world – but I don’t think it’s actually necessarily related to depression.

And when all’s said and done, I’d rather have the ups and downs of life, depression and whatever else, instead of the flat day-to-day numbness of Citalopram.

4
May '11

Spoilers

   Posted by: lyle

Last night I watched Channel 4′s documentary about recreating Barnes Wallis’ bouncing bomb from the second world war. Apparently most of the documentation and research into the project had been lost in a flood in the sixties, so a Cambridge professor recreated the entire project.

However, the entire thing was let down by the first two minutes – it was based on the question “Will they manage to recreate the bomb?” – which unfortunately had been answered in the first two minutes when they showed footage of the new bomb skipping across the water and hitting the purpose-made dam.  Indeed, I think they’d even shown that footage in the trailers for the damn programme.

I don’t know why they did it this way – the documentary was still interesting in all the technical challenges and so on that went into the initial project – but it would’ve been more interesting if you didn’t know the answer before the research even started.

6
Apr '11

Shock, Horror

   Posted by: lyle

At least two different media sites are today carrying the story about the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) telling clothing company Jack Wills (ever heard of them? I hadn’t) to not continue publishing their current catalogue until certain images are changed.

The story’s on the BBC here – and on the scumrag Daily Mail here.

Only one of the two stories manages to also show the image in it’s full “offensive” version.  Guess which one?

Yep, you got it – good old Daily Fail, making sure its readers know precisely what they should be offended by.

[Oh, and if you do want to know what the image is, look below the 'More' link]

Read the rest of this entry »

1
Mar '11

Derek Bird Inquest

   Posted by: lyle

Today the inquest opened on the events surrounding Derek Bird’s killing spree in Cumbria.

On the BBC news tonight, reporting on the inquest, the following phrase was used…

Bird’s killing spree was outlined in detail for the first time

Now, how can you outline something in detail?

20
Feb '11

It’s Just a Job

   Posted by: lyle

Via the Koriblr tumblr feed…

It's just a job - attributed to Muhammad Ali

Definitely something to remember when the workplace gets skanky

17
Feb '11

Black Swan

   Posted by: lyle

Last night we went to see Black Swan. I’d heard lots of good reviews about it, that it was a really dark, clever film and so on, so thought we’d go and see it. Of course it’s also getting loads of awards and nominations – that should’ve been my clue, really.

You see, I’ve got to admit that while it was OK, I really wasn’t blown away by it, the way I’d expected to be. Maybe that’s the problem – the expectactions were high, so it was likely to be a disappointment. In my experience, the films that get highly rated and rewarded by the various awards organisations (Bafta, Oscars, SWG, etc. etc.) tend to turn out to be utter garbage. I don’t know why, but it’s a generalisation that seems to apply.  In fairness, Bafta awards seem to be somewhat more ‘tuned in’ than the Oscars etc., but there’s still a fair number of remarkably dull films in that list of winners.

As for Black Swan, it was OK. It just wasn’t anywhere near as clever, dark, or disturbing as it wanted to be – or indeed as it could’ve been.

I liked a number of the ideas in it, but you know what? If the film had just been about the ballerinas in the run-up to a production of Swan Lake, about their obsessions, the physical and mental exercises they undertake, and everything they go through, I’d have watched it and been fascinated. Indeed the shots of the impressive muscle development in the ballet performer’s backs and shoulders, and the physical torture their feet go through were (for me at least) the most memorable scenes in the entire film.

Worth watching? Yes. Worth watching if you’re expecting a lot from it? Probably not.

10
Dec '10

Which Deal ?

   Posted by: lyle

Being a tad addicted (still) to that Tropicana Orange and Lime juice at the moment, I’m aware of which supermarkets have it on special offer at the moment. It’s odd, it always seems to be on some kind of “deal”.

Anyway, at the moment

  • Supermarket One has it at 2 for £3
  • Supermarket Two has it on 3 for £5.

I found it interesting, because Supermarket Two’s offer instinctively looks like a better deal. And I don’t know why.

Logically, Supermarket One is actually the better deal. But I had to think about it to be sure.

What do you think? Which one looks the better offer?  (I know which one is the better one, obviously – I’m interested in perceptions rather than fact)