It's 3:15pm on Sunday. I've just clicked the TV on, and get to see (in the space of 3 minutes), the following :

• Ian Beale on EastEnders considering children. Just the idea is enough to make me vomit so *click* next channel...
• Live Athletics. Happiness. I've hit athletics-overload since the Commonwealth Games, so *click* next channel...
• Bog Roll, Toilet Cleaner, Piles relief spray, Room Spray freshener, Pregnant Vicar calls Doctor to sell insurance, Relief for trapped wind, Glue for False Teeth, and sleep relief.
• Followed by Don Johnson in Nash Bridges. Time for the Off switch.

Now I'm sure I remember when there were advertising guidelines, that there were some subjects that didn't get shown before 7pm or 9pm or whatever. So frankly, what the fuck are piles adverts doing on at that time in the afternoon? Do children get piles that they need to get relief from? Do they have Dentures? Is there some kind of strange cult of Insomniac children with Piles and false teeth?

  Maybe it's just the way advertisers work. Or don't work. Or whatever. There's obviously some weird demographic at work when it comes to TV, and who watches them when. Personally I've never understood it, but then again, I've never claimed to be an anthropologist and study other forms of life. (And let's be honest, there's no way that advertising agencies are home to human beings) But I'm intrigued by the people they think are watching TV at various times during the day, week, or whatever.

  And what is the point of so many of these adverts anyway? Do Labrador Puppies make me want to buy Andrex? Do stupid supermarket stories make me want to buy toothpaste? Or chewing gum? Or anything?

  Does anyone buy stuff purely because it's advertised on TV? I suppose the entire thing is related to something that keeps making me think and think again when I receive spam - does anyone ever actually respond to that shit? I assume that they must, or what's the point of doing the spam or adverts?

  Maybe it's just me, but I just don't respond to adverts. In fact, I think I positively head away from items that are being advertised on TV. I don't ever see any of the stuff that's normally advertised in Spam etc., but I can't see that I'd ever be interested in it anyway, so I doubt I'd ever respond. Perhaps I'm the type of person the advertisers are aiming at more than any other, to try and break through the shell and make me buy their shit. Or maybe I'm their biggest nightmare because it's very unlikely I'll ever be interested in that they're trying to sell me.

  I don't know, I'll just write more about this later I think, assuming I haven't gone out and come back laden with currently-advertised products, all emblazoned with "As seen on TV!".