I wish I knew where industiral perfume companies get their scents from. The person who gives them their names must be either retarded, braindead, or have their olfactory nerves wired in some VERY odd ways. OK, "citrus" is fairly identifiable (but then again, what's citrus? It seems to be primarily listed as Lemon, but let's not forget that Citrus also can include Lime, Orange, Grapefruit, and probably some others too. But when you start coming to bollocks like "Forest Glade" and "Alpine Meadow", well seriously, what the fuck? I've never smelt a forest glade that smelt like that. I've never been in an Alpine meadow, but I'm pretty damn sure it doesn't smell like Alpine Meadow fragrance either.

  Actually, when it comes right down to it, what the hell is the point of most of these industrial perfumes anyway? Why does everything have to smell the same as a McDonalds™ toilet? Personally, I think the absolute worst ones are the toilet scents, supposedly used to drown out the shell of smit and thus not upset other toilet user's delicate nasal passages. In fact, it seems to be trying to help persuade people that their shit really doesn't stink.

  Well, sorry, but this little voice in the big crowd fucking hates the artificial stench of these perfumes. They make the inside of my nose burn - the citrus ones actually make my nose bleed like a fountain - and my head ache, and I find them more offensive than even the smell of the morning after for someone who's had a heroic curry followed by 14 pints of "Old Bowel-beater" bitter. The scent doesn't make me think "Oh, I'm shitting in a forest of pine trees - hello birds, hello butterflies, hello dirty great bear with claws out and growls going", it makes me think "Jesus Christ, what kind of cretin inflicts this stench on people and tells us it's the right thing to do?"

  As with so many things, there's sod all I can really do about it, but that's part of the whole joy of having a website - I can rant and chunter away to myself, and just let it sit on the site and do nothing else. It's a good feeling.

  And in the meantime, the list of people who will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes is getting longer and longer... :)