A couple of times already this week I've found some very odd stuff going through my mind. Not in a anegative way, for once, just stuff that's made me think about stuff a bit more.

  Mainly, it's been about getting feedback from people who've read the stuff on here, that kind of thing. Now, I'm not complaining at all, I think it's damn cool, but at the same time it's slightly odd to see your own words being quoted by other people, or to see the effect that my thoughts/words have had on other people. (There's a context change in there, but I really can't be arsed to correct it - I knew what I meant) I don't want to turn this into a self-referential web/blog-wank thing, so I'm not going to plonk links in here to the people who've read my stuff and then linked to it from their sites.

  As I said, it's definitely not a complaint - in fact, it's probably one of the biggest boosts I've had recently, to know for sure that people are reading my idiot waffle, enjoying it (well, I'm going to assume it's liked - if it's not then please, just keep quiet and leave me to my illusions, OK?) and then wanting to quote it in their own pieces of writing, having it give them their own thoughts and ideas.

  In fact, if I'm totally honest, I find it more amazing that people do want to read what I write. I've never been exactly egotistical or attention-seeking, never thought that my voice really stood out from the crowd, or was worth listening to. It all comes down to ego and self-confidence, and in a lot of ways they're two things I've never really had a big stock of, and what little I did have has been kicked badly over the last three or four years. This site has been something to help me get back into the world, Yeah, maybe some of it is too personal, or meaningless to anyone except myself and/or some of the people who know me properly, but all the same, this is one of the ways I work.

  It's helping, helping in more ways than I actually expected it to. I'm getting into the habit of regularly writing here, and not just in the blog, but in these sections too. I'm finding that I've got a writing voice that I actually quite like, and by an awesome stroke of fortune, it also appears to be a voice that other people like to read. It's a big change for me, I'm content with the way things are going, and for once in my idiot life I'm not hurrying things. I've always been too flighty, coming up with ideas, starting them, getting bored easily with it and moving on to the next thing - and again, this site has helped. I've been writing for two months on it now, and I'm sure there'll be more and more as the time goes on, and I'm really enjoying the ride.

  Yes, it's weird to know that my thoughts are open to being read by other people - writing them out in the knowledge that they will be read by other people makes it different in some ways - it's easier to write it all out when you think no-one else reads/cares. But it's still a huge boost knowing that people do read it, and so I'm going to keep on writing.

  But if I ever start referring to "my lovely audiences" or that kind of prissy pseudy bollocks, then I'll stop writing, and do something else. So there.