Z-list celebrities in need of publicity

And yes, it’s time for Celebrity Big Brother. I’d always thought celebrity involved like, being famous or something, but from the look of it, I’m utterly wrong.

So – we have…

• Goldie
• Anne Diamond
• Melinda Messenger
• Sue Perkins
• Mark Owen

Now all we need is some cunt like Les Dennis to top it off. And yes, in last place we have…..

• Les Dennis

I despair. I utterly despair.

Oh, and utterly promise to not mention it again. TV has reached a new nadir.

Lyrics

Thanks SwishCottage for this set of lyrics (sung to “If you’re happy and you know it”) which has made me laugh out loud – literally. It hurt my throat (Ok, so I was singing along to every song last night – badly *Grin*) but was well worth it.

Disclaimer

Just before I do the review below, I have to point out that I’m a complete addict of Alabama 3, have seen them live more times than I care to mention, and have yet to see a dodgy gig from them – or even one that’s less than fecking superb. So I’m biased, OK?

Alabama 3 – Manchester Academy 2

Yes, so I’m a nork, and thought it was the same venue that I’ve seen Alabama 3 at before. Which is a space for about 2-300 people, reminds me of the gigs people used to do at The Jericho Tavern in Oxford (no link, because it’s closed, and is now a keffing theme pub. Bastards.) where it was rammed so tightly that if one person started the dancing, the rest had to. So I didn’t take the camera.

Anyway, turns out Alabama 3 are getting better known – they’ve gone up a size in the venues, this one could hold about double the number of people, and did so. With a few more thrown in for luck. The thing is, Alabama 3 don’t care – they haven’t put on anything fancier than they’ve doen before, they just crowd up on stage (they’re not from Alabama, and there’s a lot more than three of them) and go for it. It’s obvious that they do love the Manchester gigs they do (well, they’ve obviously loved every gig I’ve seen them do, back to one of their first, at Tribal Gathering back in ’97) because they know the people who attend love the stuff they play.

So from the moment they come on stage (no warm-up act, just a DJ no-one ever bothers with) to the strains of “Devil went down to Ibiza” it’s two hours of full-on bouncing bedlam. About 10-13 people, plus lights, smoke machines and amps, on a stage that doesn’t look much bigger than a ping-pong table. But it doesn’t matter – they’re there to have fun, and that’s what they do. The audience doesn’t need to be persuaded to follow them either.

It’s hard to describe the music the Alabama 3 play. If you’ve heard the theme tune to the Sopranos on TV, then you’ll get a bit of an idea – it’s from their first album. But it’s unlikely they’ll ever do a Moby or a Coldplay and get their tracks used on adverts or many soundtracks. I think the best description is “acid country revolutionary house gospel blues” except that only scrapes the top of the description. Hell, the best way to get to know their stuff is to go out and buy an album. Any of the three available will give you a good idea of what they’re like.

And in the meantime – when’s the next gig???

E-Envoy? HA!

I have to admit, I find this story utterly hilarious. In the same day’s news as Tony Blair wittering on about “kickstarting broadband access in the UK” (which should have been done three years ago), we discover that the UK’s “E-Envoy” (Quick Quiz : how can you spot that this is a Labour job title?) can’t even get broadband. This is the person “responsible” (excuse me while I go and piss myself laughing) for promoting broadband use, getting the UK more “wired”, blah blah blah. And the knacker is only on a 56k? Hardly an auspicious start. Then again, he’s also been in the position since February 2001,which makes it even less impressive (if that’s possible).

Personally, if I’d been in that job, one of the first things I’d have done is called up BT and said “right, this is my position, you say you’re driving the country forward for broadband. Wouldn’t it be a smart move on your part to make sure the e-envoy is on ADSL?“. But no, this wanker hasn’t come up with anything even that smart. I feel a major rant coming on…

Oh, and don’t try looking for his office at eenvoy.com because that’s something in Kenya. e-envoy.com has been taken and parked (I’m kind of assuming a cyber-squatting thing there) so instead our guru of internet and electronic information is sat at the truly memorable www.e-envoy.gov.uk. They haven’t even managed to get e-envoy.co.uk and point it towards .gov.uk, and these are the people that are supposed to have a clue?

Dubberly

Just a quick thanks to Emily for linking to Yours Truly about the Link and Think campaign and so on.

Selfish?

If you call someone on the phone, and they are watching something they really want to see (a rarity, in that the TV is even on) do you :-

1 A) Enquire what it is, say “I’ll call you back when it’s finished”, and hang up.
2 B) Say “Oh, no worries, call me back when it’s finished”
3 C) Hear the person on the other end say it’s something they want to see, and then keep on talking about stuff, ignore phrases like “right, I’ll talk to you later” and finally finish within 5 minutes of the programme ending?

At the moment, it looks like the standard answer is : C. What a shock.

Online bus planner

Yes, I’d like to use the journey planner/timetable finder at GMPTE (Manchester’s Public Travel executive). However, the fucking thing is offline due to technical problems that “should be repaird shortly”. However, that was posted on 1st Nov. Impressive, non?