Shoes revisited

Thankfully, my parents don’t read d4d™. They know it exists (kind of – I’ve told them about it, anyway) but they’ve never been given the complete URL. Maybe they do visit, and simply keep quiet on it. I don’t know.

Anyway, I sent my father the photo of the mismatched shoes from the other day, and his sole comment was :

“That’s funny, I bet you had another pair exactly the same at home”

*Sigh*

No, I said take off his spectacles

Even though it’s decidedly black humour, I love the tale on the BBC today of the Brazilian man with earache who ended up with a vasectomy. Because of his muffled hearing, he misheard the name being called for the Snip, and didn’t say a word while they prepared an area entirely unrelated to the ears…

Speaking later (in a high-pitched voice, one assumes) he said “I just assumed that the infection had spread”. Pure class.

The fat lady sings

Over at Fuddland, dvd has been observing how many companies don’t make their websites viewable in all browsers. It’s something I’ve banged on about previously, and will almost certainly do so again. Live with it.

Out of choice, my main browsers are Opera and Mozilla’s Firebird. For the most part, they’re pretty interchangeable – both have tabbed browsing, seem to be very quick to render web pages and so on, and comply with pretty much all the standards that are thrown at them, which is more than can be said for some browsers. *cough*IE*cough* (Oh, and on a tangent from *cough*, it’s the cheating coughing Major’s last day in the army today)

Firebird has it’s uses in some areas though – this post is being written on Firebird, which still appears to be the only other browser to give me a decent screen size for typing stuff into Blogger (and also the little buttons for links and text formatting) – Opera still throws a wobbly of epic proportions.

Actually, IE only now gets used for two things – testing to make sure everything I do works on IE as well, and for internet banking. My infamously shonky bank will only use IE or Nutscrape Netscape, and they won’t let me use any of the decent versions of Nutscrape, preferring instead the “security” of a browser with more security holes than a sieve.

I’m 101, you know!

According to the BBC, there’s now a new longest lived member of the Royal Family. What I find odd is that I didn’t actually know anything about her, and even the name doesn’t ring any bells. So – is it just me that’s been out of touch?

Holiday Crackdown

I must admit, I’m not surprised that after last week’s incident with a man on Faliraki getting stabbed to death the Greek police are cracking down hugely on pissed fuckheads British holidaymakers. The only thing that surprises me is that this didn’t all happen a couple of years ago. Since the incident, they’ve arrested a woman with her tits out (classy), holiday reps organising yet more drinking sprees and some twat who decided to show his arse to the world. The holiday companies are supposed to be having a summit to sort out what can be done to curb the excesses of the holidaying chuffwits (update : it’s been postponed) and quite honestly the first thing I’d say is to stop doing “documentaries” on how great it is to go to the island for a week/fortnight of excess.

At the end of the day, the tour companies are reaping what they’ve sown – the “documentaries” have been nothing more than advertising puff pieces for the holiday companies, and it’s been a media-fuelled frenzy. I’m sure that the holiday companies pissed themselves laughing to know that ITV and SkyOne would pay them to advertise their holidays for 10 hours of TV every summer – it must have been like a gift from the gods. But now we’re in a position where the morons holidaymakers think it’s what they have to do if they go to Faliraki – maybe it is, I don’t know. As holidays, they appeal to me about as much as syphilis.

Is there anything that can be done to stop the excesses? No, I don’t think so – the most that can be done is to stop using Faliraki as a destination, but then the excesses will just go somewhere else, the same as they did with Ibiza and Ayia Napa before. And there’ll be new TV shows to tell them where to go – the cycle will begin again.

Missing

LOST
A complete set of IQ points, approximately 150 all-told. Owner very worried about them – they’re not used to being out on their own. If found, please return them to Lyle, c/o D4D™

Should’ve stayed in bed

Have you ever noticed that there are some days that can be described as “Oh, it’s been one of those…”? Here on Lyle-world, today is one of them. It started off badly, when my body finally decided to get some proper sleep. After the alarm had gone off. Forty-Five minutes later, waking up was accompanied with the phrase “Oh fuck!” – it was like the start of Four Weddings and a Funeral.

It’s only now, four hours later, that I’ve realised a couple of things.
1. My shirt has been buttoned incorrectly. All morning – including the commute to work on two buses.
2. I then look further down, and discover that not only am I wearing mis-matched socks, I’m also wearing mis-matched shoes. They’re not even the same colour, or style. One’s a black slip-on thing, the other’s a blue trainer.
3. Basically, I look like the sort of person people cross the road to avoid. So that’s a plus point.

When I get home, I’ll take a picture of the shoes. My self-pride is shot away today, so I may as well have evidence of it being a truly shonky day. In fact, one of those days…