Westonbirt

The visit to Westonbirt Arboretum yesterday was fantastic. The concept of trees illuminated at night may sound bizarre, but in reality it was fantastic. Photos will follow – I took about a hundred, but I suspect that a fair number of them are shaky enough to look like they were taken by a mid-fit epileptic, so they’ll be consigned to the Recycle Bin of history.

In fact, the only thing that had the potential to spoil the evening was the other people. Fucking whiny Welsh twats aside (and thanks, by the way, for leaving your red-eye reduction flash operating on your camera – the trees don’t have eyes, you tosspot, whereas the people around you did.) I’ve rarely seen more people in one area who all deserved a smack in the mouth. In fairness, I don’t mind the kids as much in this kind of situation – it’s pretty natural for them to run around playing and so on. What I do object to is the kind of foghorn-esque conversations about what Jim’s going to have for dinner when they get home, what happened in church this morning (If you go to church you should appreciate the strength of being fucking quiet while contemplating some of God’s Natures best bits), whether “they” really should pave all the paths, rather than leaving them uneven and natural (for fuck’s sake, if you don’t like it, don’t bother visiting gardens!), and I don’t give a blue blazing shit how cute Little Fucking Johnny looks when he’s running round the trees and jumping on their stumps.

Maybe it’s elitist, but personally I’d rather have paid twice as much, and only had half the number of people there. Whoever it was who said “Hell is other people” won’t hear any argument from me after last night…

Branding, Branding, Branding.

I wonder if the new logo for the London 2012 Olympic bid was one that came from the creative minds of What Brand Are You? ( as also featured in the piece about “some people took branding site seriously“.

Ooops

Well, it’s not just other people who are chuff-heads, obviously. I’d written a piece on the train so I could load it up to d4d when I got home. And I forgot. What a gimp.

The Answer

Yes, of course, it was Virgin Trains. Not really a shocking answer, I know. But there we go. And I’m back at their mercy tomorrow. Oh joy, oh happiness, oh lucky lucky me.

Extortion

Fifty minutes later than expected. A lot more money than it should’ve been. Utterly shit service. Fuck all food. Guess who I’m talking about?

Temptation to rant

Further to speculations about what else I might find that pisses me off between now and 2004, I’m sure there are plenty of subjects that’ll do it.

Transport (Sarah‘s bet)is pretty much a certainty, particular with the potential for strikes over the Festering Season™.

Council Tax? Ah, Peter, how little you know me… Since moving to the new area, the council tax is completely paid up – well, until April. Unless they’ve made a right bugger’s muddle of the entire thing. (OK, fair point, it’s probably likely that I’ll be ending up with a snotty letter before year end)

As for Jehovah’s Witnesses, Peter’s second guess, well – who knows. They don’t celebrate the Festering Season™ which puts them one up in my book, compared to the bloody Christians. Besides, when they come to the door I either tell them I’m just off to give blood, or try converting them myself. I love answering the door to them and saying “Hello, can I interest you in double glazing?” – just turning the tables on them is pure comedy.

I’m more likely, actually, to rant about Morons Mormons on their Mission, or bloody fucking Hare Krishnas than Jehovahs, to be honest. And don’t even get me started on the sodding Scientologists…

So – who else do you think I’ll end up ranting about? Obviously shops and the Festering Season™ are no-brainers, transport’s pretty certain. Idiocy in the workplace is another high-odds enterprise, but what else is there in the Lyle Ranting pantheon? Or will there be new ideas for me to think about and go for?

Genius

The council I’m currently working for has just sent out a survey with it’s monthly payslips. This survey is to see how people feel about their employer, what they would like to see done to improve the workplace, that kind of thing. By necessity, this survey is anonymous, with no unique identifiers at all.

However, to encourage people to fill in the survey, each completed survey will be entered into a prize draw.

It was only today, once the surveys had gone out, that anyone thought to ask “how will we know who’s won the draw?“