Perfection

This quote is entirely © today’s Guardian.

If Gordon Ramsay was reviewing his own show, Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares (Channel 4), it would probably go something like this:

I tell you what, I’m fucking gobsmacked. Ramsay swans in from fucking London to fucking Bonaparte’s in Silsden like he’s God’s fucking gift and says “fuck” or “fucking” every other word. He tells some poor kid chef he’s a limp dick and an embarrassment and that he’s going to ram the cabbage up his arse. He’s making out he’s like some fucking food missionary, saving bad chefs round the country and spreading the word of good food, when really all he’s doing is helping his own fucking TV show and his ego. Then he fucks off back to London. Twat.

But he’s not. I thought it was quite entertaining.

I didn’t know I was writing reviews for the Grauniad…

And the earlier part of the review, covering BBC’s “Cutting It” is pretty good and pithy too.

On the way to work

While travelling to work today, a woman got on the bus, and spotted her friend sat in the seat behind me.

“Oh hello, are you on this bus too?”

A Gold Award^® in Stating the Bloody Obvious.

WinZip

I’d just like to quickly say that I think WinZip is ace. I’ve just taken a 10Mb logfile from d4d™’s server, and compressed it to 500Kb. Not a bad rate of compression at all.

</geeky>

Belated

Blimey, Naked Blog was three on Saturday. I hope that he had jelly and ice-cream at the party…

Lunatic

via Insubstantial, I bring you…

Creation of 4 simultaneous 24 hour days, within a single rotation of Earth, empowers me above all 1-day gods and
educated stupid scientists. I will wager $10,000.00 on it.

Spectacularly barking.

Another U-turn

Ah, the joys of government u-turns. Back in November (and it was still being reported as such as recently as a month ago) “Goebels” Blunkett was syaing that national ID cards wouldn’t have to be permanently carried, and nor would it be compulsory to have one. Yesterday, it was revealed that anyone who refused to be registered for a national ID card could be liable to a fine of £2,500. Yup, that’s still sounding pretty voluntary…

High-Class

Getting home today I had a mere 485 “deleted” emails (thanks to my message rules) and 360 “Junk” emails (thanks to Spambayes) Not bad for 48 hours away. One of them did make me laugh though…

Le Mont are delighted to announce our new exciting spring menu
for more details take a look at our website
www.urbis.org.uk
For reservations call 0161 605 8282
Open for Lunch Monday to Friday 12.00-2.30pm
Open for Dinner Monday to Saturday 7.00pm-10.30pm
Unfortunately due to a technical problem with our system we are enable to enclose a copy of the spring menu. Should you wish to receive a copy of the new menu, please email us back and we will get one out to you at the earliest convenience
Additionally Le Mont will be holding a Gourmet evening in association with Bollinger Champagne on Thursday 10th June 2004. The evening will consist of a 5 course gourmet menu with accompanying champagne and wines for £95.00 per person.
Reservations are essential for this evening.

We look forward to welcoming you to Le Mot in the very near future.

Le Mont at Urbis
Catherdral Gardens
Manchester
M4 3BG

I’ve replied to the email, because I was annoyed by the stupid errors within it.

To whom it may concern,

In addition to the “technical difficulties” and being “enable” (I think you meant “unable”) to send out the menu your mail is advertising, I note that towards the bottom of the email, “Le Mont” is now spelled as “Le Mot”, and “Cathedral” has somehow managed to become the recipient of an extra “R”.

As I am sure you will agree, this is hardly a great way to advertise a supposedly superior restaurant…

Sincerely

Lyle

Pedantry can be fun…