Halle-keffing-lujah

Over the last week, a wide variety of swearwords have been emanating from the corner desk at which I work. I got lumbered with assigned to do a website for part of the local authority. All well and good so far.

Except the fudgeknacking twunts had already “done” their pox-gonaded site with a *cough* webdesigner outside the authority. Oh dear Christ on an underpowered moped, had they.

I use the term “webdesigner” in it’s loosest possible term. We’re talking about terms so loose that they would describe Hitler as “slightly aggressive, not overly fond of foreigners”, or Big Brother as “entertaining TV”. This ringlicking mutant sub-normal reject from the Cambridge monkey labs didn’t use anything as standard as Dreamstuffweaver, oh no. The scrofulous fucknugget instead chose … M$ Publisher. Yes, Publisher. And then “Save as HTML”.

I’ve spent a week making the code even approach readable. Just under 80 – yes, you read that correctly – eighty scumsucking pages of M$’s attempts to write HTML. It’s no frigging wonder their browser’s a sack of maggot-ridden donkey-shite, when you see the kind of abuse they give HTML. Dreamweaver fell over just trying to render the bloody code, let alone edit the twadgeing thing.

I hope I never find out which headshaved knuckle-dragging wingnut actually wrote this abortion, and I think they should hope I never do either. I’d imagine that a keyboard would make for some interesting proctological contortions. Particularly if I sharpened the bugger first.

Taking the Piss

Fucking hell, for a festival that used to be commitedly uncommercial, Pride sure has changed. Of course, it’s not called Pride anymore, this year it’s the Big Gay Out, (shit name too – surely something better could’ve been thought up?) sponsored by Faceparty (who last time I looked were busy getting a bollocking for having photos of under-16s in various levels of undress) and with tickets on sale through your corporate friends and mine, Ticketmaster.

It used to be free, then it was (if memory serves) £5, then it was £pound;15 last time I looked. Now it’s £25. Inflation? Not quite. More like just a rip-off. And of course there’ll likely be less people going, so to “break even” next year they’ll up the prices even more. The economic model that doesn’t allow for “make it cheaper and more people will turn up”.

It’s not so much Pride, more Wallet.

Domain

Richard has realised he owns ten domain names, three of which are actually live. This made me think (in lieu of anything better to do while at work) about the ones I’ve got, as opposed to the ones I maintain for other companies.

There’s one that’s a middle ground – it’s my company, so it’s a site I own, but obviously I also maintain it. I won’t link to the various domains etc., because I do try to keep things seperate for a variety of reasons. As most people have figured, Lyle is a pseudonym, a nom-de-sweary, and adds a layer of remove to most of what I do. That’s the way I like to do d4d™, and it also means that my name doesn’t come anywhere near d4d™ should someone do a google search.

Anyway, the grand total is that I’ve currently got three live personal sites (including the company one) plus the one I was saying about the other day, which is in a kind of half-way house. There are also two three (oops, knew I’d forgotten one) that haven’t got anything done yet, and one I’m still thinking about buying.

In addition, there are four live sites that I’m still the main registrant and maintainer on, and three that are currently under development, as well as one that I haven’t yet bought (although I know the domain I want, just haven’t got round to it yet) and two that were bought purely on spec.

I think I need to get out more…

But anyway – how many domains have you got?

Abdication

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not worthy. Anna has written a post that has meant I have now handed over the Sweary Crown, and currently admit defeat.

All hail Queen Anna, Her Profane Majesty.

Bizarre

Apparently, I’m #1 in google for the phrase “I want to redesign existing trouser“. I have no idea why, nor even why anyone would search on this phrase. But there we go.

About Bloody Time

Some people who email me will know that I’ve got a domain name which currently doesn’t have a web-presence. Well, OK, it’s got a holding page – but that’s it. I’ve had the domain for four years now – if not five – and have had some ideas of what to do with it, but nothing’s ever come to fruition.

So this may be another of those plans – only time will tell – but I think I’ve got an idea of what I’m going to use the domain for. It might even make for some interesting projects along the way. But for now I do feel some vague optimism, and a desire to see if I can make it work properly.

I’m not trying to be purposely enigmatic on this one (although it looks like I’m succeeding anyway) but for now I don’t want to curse the idea with too many expectations. But once it’s life, or on the way to working, I’ll publicise more about it.