Poly / Mono / A

In many ways, I try to be as open-minded and non-judgemental as possible. That doesn’t apply in certain sectors – BMW drivers, idiocy, and bigots in general – but for the most part I accept peoples lives as their own, and I’m happy with that.

For whatever reason, I’ve also ended up with a number of friends in polyamorous relationships – all of whom I’m ridiculously proud of for a range of reasons.

It does all make me think though. I know that polyamory isn’t for me – I wouldn’t rule out being with someone who was in a poly relationship with someone else, but I also know that multiple partners isn’t something that would work for me. However, a lot of the time I’m pretty sure that monogamy isn’t really for me either.

I can quite happily live with being single, with not being in a relationship at all. I’m good with my own time and space, with my own life.

Does that make me selfish? Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not about not sharing or anything, or most of the usual selfish motivators – I’m just comfortable and content on my own.

And if there’s polyamory and monogamy then surely there’s also a term for someone who’s really not bothered by relationships. It’s not asexual per se, but perhaps agamy – although that sounds weird in a different way.

Regardless, if there’s any term that’ll fit me, I suspect it’s just that – agamous.

Big Business

As it turns out (and I do need to remind myself of this more often, and/or not take on the jobs) I really don’t understand big companies. I don’t have the necessary mindset for working within them, and I simply don’t get how they work.  All of this also probably contributes to explaining why I don’t want to work in them too often, and why this current contract won’t be being extended by me.

I like small companies – even medium-sized ones. I like the ability to bypass management (if it even exists) and talk direct to business owners/directors, and make a difference. I like knowing that (mostly) the people I work with are productive, and know what the hell they’re doing.

In a big company, I’m a fish out of water. It seems like productivity becomes something that’s talked about and aimed for, but isn’t actually achieved. Ever. I don’t get the mindset where people would rather have meetings (and sometimes meetings about meetings) in order to establish who will be to blame if a project goes wrong, rather than just getting on and doing the project. I don’t get how productivity seems to become a way of avoiding work, because there’s “so much” other stuff to do.

Currently I’m working in a huge barn of an office, with probably 100-150 people in it. Yet they seem to collectively do less than the previous company I worked with, which had six people in a room. People here seem happy to be bums on seats, to do as little as possible on a daily basis and simply mark time ’til they can a) go home or b) retire. It’s not a mindset I can work with, let alone live with. I want – no, if I’m honest I need – to be doing stuff, to create things that work, that make life easier.

I needed to write this so I can look back on it, so I can remember just why I don’t like working with big faceless companies, the behemoths of the world – regardless of the industry they ‘specialise’ in.


Type A/B

Over the last few weeks I’ve been doing (again) a lot of driving, and the next week or so isn’t looking any different. (For example, next Friday is looking to be 350-400 miles on its own, with another 250-300 on the Sunday, minimum)

As always, when I drive I tend to be a Type-A personality, wanting to stop the sodding about and just get there. That’s par for the course with me, just get the job done and get on with it. And yes, that’s kind-of related to that laziness I mentioned in yesterday’s post.

However, when/if I get stuck in traffic jams or behind vehicles I can’t get past (road conditions, traffic, whatever) then I’m far more of a Type-B personality, and don’t get  stressed or annoyed about it. It’s a situation I can do nothing about, I can’t go anywhere or change anything, so I just have to accept it until I can change it.

It is (I understand) a bit of an odd state of affairs to be quite so middle-of-the-road on these personality types, where I can change from one to the other without apparent effect.  I don’t mind though – it means I’m less stressed-out than pure Type-As, and more effective/productive (usually) than the pure Type-Bs.

Besides, it’s not like me to be the stereotypical anything, so it fits in quite well with that aspect as well…


Over the years, one thing I’ve said many times is that in some ways I’m lazy. (And it’s true – plus I’m almost certainly lazy in many, many ways)  However, in some circumstances my laziness actually results in extra effort/work.

Technically and pedantically I know it’s not laziness per se, it’s more a “can’t be arsed to wait” aspect which probably also matches up to something else I’ll be writing this week.

Anyway, as an example of this, I say I’m lazy when I can’t be bothered to wait for a bus or a tram/train (particularly when I lived in Manchester) on short journeys, so I’d rather walk. I simply don’t get why people would wait for a tram from Piccadilly station down to Piccadilly Gardens (or indeed really any tram stop in Manchester) when you can walk it in the time it takes for the bus/tram to arrive.

When I go shopping, I can’t be arsed to wait for a parking space right next to the shops. I’ll park further away in the car park, walk in, get what I need, and leave. If it’s been a quick shop, I’m sometimes in and out while the same damn car waits for a space right next to the store.

Indeed in general I can’t be arsed with hunting for parking spaces right next to where I’m going. I’m just as happy parking further away where there’s plenty of spaces and just, you know, walking a bit further.

But then, I’m lazy like that.