Wishful thinking

The last four times I’ve looked at the BBC News website, I’ve misread the title of this story as “Leslie’s sex change ‘hell'” – it should read charge. I worry about my brain sometimes.

Images

Yes, as suspected, two new graphics have made their way onto the site. as d4d™ is now really dummies-for-destruction, well, it seemed apt to lose the pointy man for a while, and get rid of the “under new management” sign. More changes will be slowly percolating through the site. Then again, as yet I haven’t changed everything to the CSS sheet either. It will all happen though.

Insurance

I spoke to the claims advisor on the insurance yesterday – looks like things will go smoothly, and the list of stolen DVDs to be replaced went in the post to them today. The DVDs will be replaced, and delivered to my parent’s house – until I’ve moved, I’m not going to be replacing any of the missing items, as I don’t see the point in doing it just to get them nicked again. The thing I’ve discovered I miss having most of all is the digital camera – among other things, it’s meant I’ve missed out on the 26 things photographic scavenger hunt, along with several other opportunities for decent shots. Once I’m moved, it’ll be high on the priority list.

As for the laptop, they’ll send me vouchers, I assume to the original purchase price. So, that’ll be playtime when they arrive – the only disadvantage being that they’re supposedly only spendable in places like *shudder* Dixons. All the same, I’m sure I’ll find something I like – even if it does have a touchpad. But we’ll see what’s around once the vouchers arrive.

All in all, I’ve been hugely impressed with MoreTh>n, my insurers. It’s a week today since the break-in, and it looks like the insurance claim is pretty much sorted out, along with their paying for the replacement window that my cuntish landlords insisted I pay for. They’ve managed to do everything on the timescale that was promised when I first called, and so far they haven’t messed me about at all. I just hope that the payout and delivery of replacement items runs as smoothly.

Firebird

I’ve been playing versus various web browsers for a while now (sorry, bsag, but still Windows only) but it’s only in the last 48 hours that I’ve really got into the Firebird browser from Mozilla. My problem with Mozilla itself (an open-source offshoot of Netscape) was that it was – frankly – fucking slow. You know something’s slow when you go back to IE and think “flippin’ ‘eck that’s fast!”

So it was with some trepidation I finally got round to downloading Firebird, the newer, more experimental, shitload-faster-than-Moz browser. And I like it. Lots.

I’m posting this through Firebird – it’s the only browser other than IE that I’ve so far found which works with Blogger’s extra buttons, and renders it properly. Just that is enough to convince me. It means I don’t have to use IE for anything other than my internet banking now (in a fit of “security” the bank that daren’t mention it’s name still only supports IE or Nutscrape 4.7 (not even the latest version)) – and that’s always likely to win me over.

Robbing bastards

No, for once not the little sods that broke into the house. Instead, this is about the other people involved the break-in. I got an invoice this morning from the company that the police called out to board/secure the window that got broken – note, not my request to get it done, but the police’s. But the invoice arrived this morning, to “the occupier”

£60 to board up and “make secure” (we’ll ignore for the moment that half the screws weren’t in properly, and it was a pretty shonky job all round) and another £10.50 in VAT. So it’s cost me more to have the window boarded up than it did to have it replaced. I’m sure there’s a logic there, fighting to get out.

Hiatus

Over at Naked Blog, Peter has announced he’s taking a post-hissy-fit (his words, not mine) break. I can understand his point, wanting to see people commenting on his thoughts, and I certainly hope he’ll return (at the moment it’s in doubt). It’s a blog I read daily, and have always thought was a damn good one (and not just for the support over the Wiley’s farce).

But at the same time I’m as guilty as others – I don’t always leave comments, even when it’s a point I agree or disagree with strongly. Sometimes I simply forget to do so (or, as yesterday, think I’ve commented and then discover I haven’t) and other times I just don’t want to be overly contentious.

Anyway, I hope Peter will return soon. He’ll be much missed while away.

More phone idiots

“Hello, IT department, Lyle speaking“
“Hello, is that Nigel?“
It just went downhill from there…

Twenty-Two Years Ago

Looks like the Grauniad is having a good day. As displayed by the following:

Although it does seem hard to believe that it’s 22 years since the wedding. Time flies when you’re having fun.

Vile Image

Sometimes, I love the Guardian, and particularly their headline writers. Although I hope it’s not just me that gets a vile mental image to accompany the line “Police probe body in suitcase“. It’s a pretty grim story anyway – although finding the body of a man stuffed inside a suitcase being defined as “suspicious circumstances” strikes me very much in the vein of “No shit, Sherlock.”

Aye, that’ll be right

The Grauniad (and many others) are carrying a story that the new laws that allow Peers (Lords) to be barred from the House of Lords after they’ve been jailed for more than 12 months are “not being vindictive towards Lord Jeffrey Archer, but are merely a way of restoring the balance between the Houses of Lords and Commons.“

Not vindictive? To consider this law the week after Archer was released? To use a classic phrase, “Pull the other one, it’s got bells on it“.

Cold calling

I’ve just had a call from Victim Support, wanting to know if I needed to talk. No thanks, I’m at work. Fact is, I’m sure there are plenty of other people far more in need of the services of Victim Support than myself. (For instance the little fuckers that broke in, if I ever get hold of ’em) It’s not my kind of thing at all, and really I don’t feel traumatised by the entire set of events in the same way that some people seem to.

I’m not going to be derogatory about VS – I’m sure it provides a good service, and one that’s hugely appreciated by a lot of people. It’s just not for me. Thanks for calling though.

Anti-climax

No, not another dose of spam involving “how to perform better for your partner”, or whatever – but Something trivial or commonplace that concludes a series of significant events.

In this case, it regards the Tabard Square dig in London, where a 2,000 year old sealed capsule had been found, and was due to be opened today. No-one knew what was in it, but already various other artefacts have been found, including a life-size bronze casting of a foot, and the oldest known signage including the name London. Speculation was rife about the contents of the capsule.

And what was inside when it was opened? Some type of make-up cream, they think. Anti-climax indeed. Or even just a very elaborate, extremely well executed hoax.

Be still, my bleeding heart

Well, it’s Monday, and after a hectic weekend of self-centred posting, I’m going to try and get back to normal. Who knows, it might even happen.

In the meantime, I’m definitely pleased to see that The Ginger Twat™ is having to pay £7m to the owners of Virgin radio in relation to his failed case. At best, Chris Evans is a brat, and a dummy-chucker extraordinaire, and for once it’s good to see him getting what he deserves.

Other activities

It’s been a busy – and productive – weekend. A friend came up to help with the alarm etc., and we also spent some time forming up the company he wants to get started. So the alarm’s in, the company’s formed, the domain names are reserved, the web hosting is sorted, and we’ve done a load of research into what similar companies are charging, and so on.

Not bad really, for getting done in a period of 24 hours. It always amazes me when people seem to take forever to get things like domain names, or company formations. I can’t believe I’m that much more efficient or organised than anyone else. But hey ho.

Sorting Out – Part 2

Ah well, the next step was a burglar alarm. So I’ve got one. All the entry points are protected. It’s a pretty good bit of kit, seems to work well. Still waiting for a call from the claims wonk, so that’ll happen during this next week. As for everything else, we’ll see. I’m still going to be looking for a new place to live – and yes, I can move the alarm system too. I just wish it didn’t feel like running away.

Sorting out

I’ve had the kitchen window replaced – the landlords have said they won’t pay for it, because they’re cunts. Luckily, the insurance people seem to have come up trumps and have said they’ll pay for it. As it is, I found a local company that replaced it – and did a proper job rather than the shonky effort of the cowboys my landlords employed last time – for the princely sum of £50. Not bad at all.

Do I? Don’t I?

Following on from all the shite with Wiley, I got a beautifully timed reminder to day that the original d4d domain comes up for renewal in September.

Now, do I give it up, or do I renew it for another two years, just to upset Wiley’s even more? I wonder… *Grin*

Nabbed

I’ve just had another visit from the police – looks like they’ve nicked the little bastard for something else, and will be interviewing him about the break-ins as well, in addition to other stuff, and also searching his house. They’ll let me know if they find anything, although he’s apparently likely to have got rid of it already, and to let me know what happens.

Shocking revelations

I don’t quite know whether people in New Zealand are different to the rest of the world, but is the “revelation” that Young men download the most porn really all that surprising?

Burglary – Update

I’m sorry if this seems horrendously self-referential for once, but well, it’s personal publishing, and this has happened. So live with it. If it’s boring, just go to one of the other blogs on the right. (Scaryduck is particularly good today, and delivered a couple of much needed laughs. “Bang” indeed…)

SOCO’s been, turns out that this time the little bastards look to have worn gloves. Landlords are still being fuckers, so it looks like a move is on the cards. I didn’t really want to do that, but the joys of being inveigled in the world of little-fucker-dom seem to have put the mockers on it. I’ll still rent for the time being – but not from these landlords. Keff that.

I wish I could even explain how I feel – “numb” is the word that springs to mind, but “flat” is possibly more descriptive. I’ve never caused hassle, never been snotty or anything to the neighbours, never drawn attention. Now I seem to be the target for some little cunt who’s decided “He’s got it, I want it.” And it’s making me move – I feel let-down, like I’m giving in, and I think the simple fact of it is that it’s so faceless. He doesn’t know me – maybe by sight, I don’t know – I don’t know him. I could walk past the little shit tomorrow, and I wouldn’t even know it. I can’t even be angry – there’s no visible target for it, and I’ve never gone for the aimless hatred school of thought.

More than anything else, I’m tired though. I’m tired of being a target – always someone to aim at, to be seen as different. More reasons than I can shake a stick at, but for the moment it seems to be that I’m a “Have”, not a “Have Not”. As reasons go, it’s no better and no worse than many of the other bigotrys and biases, but at the end of the day they’re all so pointless.

Anyway, I’m going to see what happens over the weekend, and work on things from there.

Burglary – Part Two

Well, much as I hate to say “told you so”, I did. Came home from work today to find that I’d been broken into again. I’m sure it’s the same little cunt that did it – the footprints on the worktop were exactly the same as last time, and they came through the same window.

This time they had a bit more time, obviously – every drawer has been opened, every cupboard gone through. They didn’t get away with much – an old laptop and about 50 DVDs – there’s probably other things too, but I haven’t found out what yet.

The house is a mess – but could be worse. It’s just been searched, they didn’t take a shit on the carpet or anything. The big stuff is still safe – because I always keep all the house keys with me, they could only take out stuff that fit through the window. PC and stereo were unplugged, but obviously wouldn’t fit. The kitchen’s a fucking mess, but again, it could’ve been so much worse. Everything’s been looked through, and yet the dozy little bastards have missed stuff that (to my amateur ideas) would be better to nick – the vodkas and booze weren’t touched, the (easily floggable) concert tickets didn’t even move. Even the DECT (digital cordless) phones stayed. I wish I knew why.

You’re from who?

I don’t know what it is with job agencies, particularly IT ones, but they really do seem to be populated with idiot smegheads. I’ve had a call today, no number showing up on the CLI, that went as follows :

Me : “Hello?“
Muppet : “ohhithisisjulianfrombrs”
Me : “You’re who from what?“
Muppet : “This is Julian from BRS”
Me : “OK, and who are BRS?“
Muppet : “Oh, I thought you’d know. We’re an IT agency, you spoke to us about a year ago, and applied for two contracts.”
Me : (thinks) “Oh, and I’d know every agency I’m listed with, and would remember the snerks from a year ago”
Me : (says) “Ah, I’m in a contract now until December“
Muppet : “OK, bye then.”
*click*

Charming. In fact, if it were to come down to it, I now probably wouldn’t speak to BRS again, purely because of Julian’s attitude.

Terms of Endearment

This week’s favoured term of semi-abuse can now officially be revealed as “Oy, Genius!” Of course, a lot depends on context, vocal tone, and sarcasm, but it seems to attract the required amount of genius, particularly when used in phrases such as “Oy, Genius! Go to the other till.” So far it hasn’t resulted in a smack in the mouth either – which is always a bonus. *Grin*

Told you so

If you’re feeling at all fragile today, don’t read this story. Basically, the people who maintain train-tracks are suddenly realising (Gawd bless ’em, it appears to have only just occurred to them) that certain of the UK’s train rolling stock have toilets that just dump their contents on the tracks when flushed. Hence the warning signs about “don’t flush while waiting at a station” – although apparently people still do. (I assume the people who do this are the same fucktards who always push a door marked “Pull”, and who always got caught by the auto-closing doors on trains) I wonder when the excuse will arise that “the train is late because of the wrong kind of shit on the track“.

In the meantime, it appears that Network Rail are hopeless inefficient (Nice work, Holmes – how did you ever figure that out?) and need to save £2Bn a year. Perhaps they should collect the waste on the track and flog it off as “organic manure”.
Still, it goes to prove that people are right when they say the train lines in this country are totally shite.

Style sheets and the like

Yes, I know there’s a couple of keff-ups with things like the style-sheet and so on. That’s because I’m a twat, and didn’t keep everything in just one place. So it’ll be fixed once I go in to work tomorrow, but for now, well, live with it.

UPDATED : There – all sorted again. Must remember to sort out everything so it’s all stored in one place in the future. And then back it up. I’ll do that tonight.

Overkill

OK, so the sons of Saddam Hussein are dead. I wonder if el Presidente’s apparent joy that they’re dead is more a case of being relieved to have something to take attention away from David Kelly’s death.

However, I do think that using 10 anti-tank missiles to do the deed is possibly slightly more than “reasonable force”.

Dangling chuffnuts

Hmmm, looks like the original d4d™ is back online – I now have no farking clue what’s going on. Hopefully easyspace will have sent a mail to explain, and I’ll have that when I get home. However, I’m going to continue with the move, and just use the old d4d™ to push people here calmly, rather than in a mad rush with the site-closure.

d4d™ is dead – long dive d4d™

Well, it looks like Wiley has decided to get Easyspace to pull the original d4d™ (as in destruction “for dummies”(™)) offline – no notice from either company to me, the domain holder, so I think there’ll be some shitty letters flying around tonight/tomorrow.

But this is the new home anyway – nice and un-pullable. I’ll change the pointy man on the right again at some point in the next couple of days, and then let ’em say anything at all.

Evil

All I can say is that I wholeheartedly apologise to Hoegaarden. It’s not the beer that’s evil – it’s the Raspberry Stoli that represents the root of all evil in the world. And bloody good it is too. Personally, I blame the ice that went in it, not the vodka itself. And that’s that.

Headline of the day

I suspect that someone was playing “let’s see what we can get past the sub-editors” when they came up with the headline to this story.

…leave it to the professionals

And while we’re on the subject of fraud etc. (OK, it was perjury he got jailed for – but close enough), I’m quite amazed that the Tories have said there’s no place for Jeffrey Archer in their party any more. OK, he’s been convicted and served a jail sentence for telling lies to a court. To my mind that makes him an ideal candidate for the Tories again.

Except that he got caught, whereas most politicians seem to do exactly the same and prefer to say “it wasn’t me, it was him“. UK Politics and the art of “Another boy did it and ran away. Honest sir.“

If you’re going to do something well…

Reading The Register today, it struck me as quite amusing that a company called Vogon tried to defraud the Serious Fraud Office by overcharging them.

I’m not sure which would have caused more hassle – overcharging them and being taken to court, or overcharging them and getting away with it…

Tiger teasing

I’ve decided, I’m bored with the complete lack of action when it comes to Wileys etc. No word from any legal beagles or anything.

So today I’m going to be drafting up another email to send to Kirky. Nothing offensive – more of an “I’m still here, and still waiting for a response”. When it’s written/sent, it’ll also be posted here – just for clarity and continuity purposes, of course.

Legal stuff

I’ve no idea (yet) if it’s related to the entire Wiley’s thing or not, but d4d™ has had several visits today from Clifford Chance, a UK legal firm that likes to say it’s “A global law firm”. I’m wondering if I’ll find out more when I get home, possibly an email from them or Wileys.

As Peter says today, it’s all gone a bit quiet with regard to the For Dummies™ thing, although most of that is due to me waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe it’s finally done so…

Dentists – the finale

Yes, after six months of intermittent pissing and moaning, I’ve finally had my last piece of work with the dentists. It feels odd, having teeth where there’ve been gaps – my lip and tongue keep having odd panic attacks of “Oh, bloody hell, something’s changed! What’s going on? Help! Flippin’ ‘eck!” and having a quick investigate, but all’s well, it’s just not what they’re used to.

But yes, I’m pleased with the work. It’s been a long fight to get here, but in the end it’s been worth it. The next piece of the saga is to make an appointment with the hygienist, and work from there.

Peter and the Wolf

That David Attenborough gets around a bit, doesn’t he? I was watching the (fantastic, as it turned out) Elephants – Spy in the Herd documentary, with poo-cams (cameras disguised as lumps of elephant cack – including ones that went in the river, charming known as floater-cams) on BBC1, narrated by DA himself.

Ninety minutes later, the sod’s there again, narrating Peter and the Wolf for the Nation’s Favourite Proms. I used to have a recording of this on vinyl, narrated by someone else (can’t remember who, offhand – Johnny Morris or someone) and the DA version was a real trip back in time, and just as fun.

Divides

The Observer’s online edition has a piece in it about the divide between rich and poor – a stark portrait of one poverty-stricken family living within eyesight of one at the other end of the fiscal spectrum. Goes to show, it’s not just a “north-south divide”.

Movable Type

Well, I haven’t been writing much here today – and for one particular reason. The new domain, dummies-for-destruction.co.uk is getting set up, and part of it has involved the joys of setting up Movable Type on it. (Hopefully this’ll stop certain nameless ones nagging me to go to a decent comments system, non-blogger blah blah blah) Somewhere along the line I’ve norked the config file, so it’s not finding the graphics for the MT stuff, and that needs twiddling with.

And I’ve still got to sort out importing stuff, but that’s not high on the priorities just yet. First things first, setting up joys like an include file for all the site navigation (using PHP) and so on, figuring out a template (yes, d4d™ may undergo another minor revamp while I’m twonking about), and generally just getting it all laid out. I’m still waiting to hear from Wileys, but at the same time I do like the idea that they come looking for d4d™ with vengeance in their hearts, only to find it’s happily no longer sueable. (if that’s a word) We’ll see though. I could turn this place into a true pit of anti-Wileyism once I’m in the mood…

Overly familiar

Having managed today to pick up tickets for Radiohead in Newcastle a thought occurred to me – should I worry when the people at the ticket office know me by name?

Hulk

I couldn’t resist – it looked good, and also it’s directed by Ang Lee, whose stuff I love. Some of the effects from the trailer looked a bit dodgy, but decided to give it the benefit of the doubt.

And I’m glad I did – I have to say I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Adaptations from comics seems to fall into two fields – bloody good (X-Men, Spiderman, Blade, Batman) or fucking awful (Daredevil, Batman Returns, Spawn, Punisher) – Hulk is definitely a new member of the former group. The effects that look dodgy on a small screen work fantastically on the big screen. Other people have said it takes time to get going – and it does. But that’s justified, this isn’t just a comic strip, it’s a full story, covering two generations. But when Huk does make his first appearance, the film kicks up a gear.

I don’t know how Ang Lee does it – there really hasn’t been a film genre where he hasn’t excelled. Period Drama ( Sense and Sensibility ), Westerns (Ride with the Devil), “Romance” (the Ice Storm), Martial Arts (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), and now comic-book stuff. A truly impressive talent.

Hulk’s ending is a bit of a let-down, but it’s still better than the one that’s implied about twenty minutes before the end – final scene leaves enough potential for a sequel, should we need one. Personally, I hope that one isn’t made – not because Hulk is bad, but perversely because it’s bloody good, and a sequel would have one hell of a lot to do to simply break even, let alone be better than the original. As always, spotting the cameos is – both Stan Lee (the creator of the comic strip) and Lou Ferrigno (the original Hulk in the TV series) appear as security guards. (And yes, I was bobble-hatted enough to be able to spot them both), Sam Elliott is as sexy as ever, even when he’s being military instead of his standard cowboy self, and Nick Nolte is his normal stolid self, although still in danger of being out-acted by the furniture around him.

All in all, it’s a tour de force – don’t let “it’s the film of a comic” put you off, just go and soak up 2ish hours of pure entertainment.

And speaking of which…

The joys of irony. Following on from the No. 1 “people who should die” in the post below, I checked who’d looked at the site since. I present this image as proof that irony isn’t dead, and is in fact currently pointing at me and laughing.

UPDATED : And still when I got home there wasn’t even a nasty word from Wileys. How disappointed am I?

Sooner or later they all have to die
Or Misanthrope.com

Since Green Fairy’s post last Saturday on the 20 types of people who most deserve to die, I’ve been thinking along similar lines. Some are blindingly obvious, others are a more individual decision. And I’m sure I’ve missed some out. But (for now) here goes…

1. Litigious commenters who work for Wileys
2. People who stop at the end of an escalator, ignorant of their surroundings, and the people piling up behind who want to kill them.
3. Those who insist on repeating their every point twice, particularly when stating the fucking obvious, such as “it’s relaly hot, isn’t it?”, just in case some poor chuffhead in the next county didn’t hear it the first time.
4. Couples who insist on walking everywhere arm-in-arm, even when the entire pavement/alleyway has just enough room for two people. It’s easier to seperate Siamese twins than these simpering examples of humanity.
5. Anyone wearing excess nasty gold jewellery from Argos/Elizabeth Duke. You don’t look wealthy, you don’t look cool – in fact, you just look awful.
6. Women/girls with wonky pony-tails. They know who they are. You see them every day – the pony tail starts of at about 45° from the normal place, is invariably held up with a hairband that looks like it’s been cannibalised from a sweat-sock, and just makes it look like they’ve never even looked in the mirror.
7. Scallies. The first sign is normally the tracksuit/shellsuit bottoms. These are a bad omen, unless worn on a professional athlete. When tucked into socks, it is invariably a sign that the person should be killed to save the world any more trouble. The same can be said for those who wear a hooded top with a baseball cap underneath it.
8. Bagpipes. Unless it’s at the Highland Games, bagpipe players are a hazard to mental health and audio clarity. Especially the one outside Primark in Manchester. You know who you are.
9. Those who insist on repeating their every point twice, particularly when stating the fucking obvious, such as “it’s relaly hot, isn’t it?”, just in case some poor chuffhead in the next county didn’t hear it the first time.
10. BMW drivers. Just because.
11. Brand-obsessed people. Just because everything you are wearing has a label on it, don’t assume the “coolness” of these trends rubs off on you. In fact, the only label that really applies to you is “sad cunt”.
12. The freaks who look at you in amazement when you ask for one ticket to see a film, play, concert, or anything else that may represent “normally done as a couple” in your tiny minds.
13. Even more so, the ones who look at you in sympathy, or with the thought “Oh, how brave, being able to go out on your own to social events” when the same request is made.
14. People who can’t do more than two things at once. It’s obvious that walking and breathing are taking up all your available brain-power. Don’t tax it by trying to read a text message, or talk on the phone at the same time. Even more to the point, when you’re doing such a thing and walk into someone, don’t glare at them like it’s their fault. Broken limbs may result.
15. The fucktards who think that bigger warnings on cigarette packets will make people suddenly want to stop smoking. They know it’s unhealthy – stop preaching, find something better to do. Alternatively, light up a cigarette and help yourself to die faster.
16. TV programme planners. All week, nothing to watch. Then shove everything on at the same time on the same night. Thanks.
17. Those who say “we won the match”, meaning their favourite team/country/whatever. “We” did fuck all – you weren’t involved, neither was I. The team won the contest, and fair play to them. But you had bobbins to do with it. End of.
18. The designers of public-transport seating. We’re not all five-foot six. The distance between seat edge and back of seat in front is just enough for me to wedge myself into, at risk of being crippled by the time I’m 40.
19. Supercilious sales assistants. Yes, I know what I’m looking for, no I don’t want the extended warranty, no I don’t need batteries with it, no I won’t give you my postcode unless you can tell me your Data Protection policy and how I opt out of receiving anything from your shonky shop ever again – just take the money and get the fuck on with it.
20. Anyone else I’ve forgotten.

Digital Cameras

Following the break-in last Friday, I’m looking for a new digital camera. It has to have at least 3 Megapixels (preferably 4, or even 5), and ideally a good optical zoom (frankly, digital zoom isn’t worth the hassle) of at least 3x, preferably more. I’m not bothered what it uses as storage, but it’s got to be removable. I already miss my Fuji digicam, but I’m not overly impressed with the new designs and they look decidedly uncomfortable, and much as I fancy it, I can’t justify a Canon EOS 1Ds. I’ll be going to have a play with some tomorrow – so the question is this :

What do you use, and what do you recommend? Budget goes up to about £500, and at the moment Pentax are looking promising, with Fuji a close second if I can find one that’s comfortable. Pros, cons, recommendations – that’s what I’m interested in.

What do you mean you’re still here?

A survey from the Skipton building society has shown that some parents actually pay their grown-up children to leave the nest. It was only a small cross-section (530 parents, to be exact) but out of that, only a third of the parents ask for a contribution from their children towards household bills, and 90% do the cooking/laundry for their children still.

Are these people fucking stupid? Of course they are. If the parents insisted their little darlings paid for their keep, did their own cooking and laundry, they’d soon leave once they realised it wasn’t a cushy number to stay with mummy and daddy any more. OK, house prices are high, which makes it harder to go out in the big wide world, but it’s not that difficult – I’d reckon most of them stay with parents simply because it’s cheaper/easier than doing it all themselves.

Anniversary

A quick “Happy Birthday” to Haloscan (the commenting system used here (for now)) which is one year old today. It’s had it’s ups and downs, but still annoys me far less than Enetation still does, even when I use it on other people’s sites. Maybe it just doesn’t like Opera, but it’s slow as hell, which in fairness is one thing I haven’t been able to say for Haloscan.

51st State

Interesting piece in the Guardian about how Britain is losing it’s sovereignty to the US. Would we be better off if we actually became the 51st State? (I say “if”, I probably mean “when”) In fact, could we actually continue on in the way we do now if we were to fall out with the US?

Was that it?

Well, normality returns to the UK weather, and it’s pissing it down again. Typically, I have to walk across town to a meeting in a short while. A meeting with people I’ve never met, and I have absolutely no idea what the meeting is about, nor what they want.

Gee, that’ll be productive then.

Dead Letters

I suppose it’s not so much the contents as how the hell they were posted – a nice piece on the BBC about Belfast’s “National Returned Letter Centre” (although that doesn’t include the 280,000 letters every week that are lost or delayed in the UK). I’ve had stuff back from these people before, and I think they’re pretty bloody good for the most part.

I particularly like the idea that they’re the destination for all the UK’s letters to Santa. And that all the letters get replied to. We truly are a daft nation at times.

A house, A house, my kingdom for a house

Over at Whereveryouare, Vaughn has been having some thoughts about his hopes and dreams for a house of his own. Fair enough, I can understand that desire for a front door of his own, having lived in flats and shared houses. Personally, I have a different dream…

I dream of a day where I don’t have to deal with fuckhead landlords. I’ve been with my current bunch of clowns (no links, as they don’t even have answerphones, let alone email, websites, or anything remotely useful) for three years. In that time, I’ve not seen a single person from the agency – which is no bad thing. However, this includes the fact that to be legal, a property has to have a “gas check” at least once a year to ensure the safety of the gas system. One was done when I first moved in, and there’s not been one since.

After the break-in on Friday, I ended up calling the landlords on Monday morning to arrange a replacement window. (They’ve no answerphone or mobile, so I hadn’t been able to leave a message over the weekend) It was arranged that it’d be done yesterday, while I was at work – and I even arranged to leave the back gate unlocked in order to allow the glazier access. (They also don’t work weekends, or anything after 4 in the afternoon) When I got home last night – unshockingly – the window hadn’t been fixed. I called them up, and they said they’d let me know what was happening.

I’ve just called them, no phone call having been forthcoming, to be told “oh, he should be fixing it today”. That’ll be impressive, as the gate’s now locked up again – maybe he’ll climb over the wall, along with the sheet of glass and so on. I look forward to going home to an injured moron in my back yard. And the landlord’s attitude? “Oh well, you should have left the back gate unlocked so he could get in. You knew we’d be there at some time”. This is the back gate that was where the little bastards got access last time. I see a failure of logic – and my soothsaying ability predicts a shitty letter going off in the very near future.

In the meantime, I’m just going to dream of the day where I can simply get all this done and organised myself, not have to go through landlords, letting agents, or whatever – I know insurance companies will be just as annoying in their own way, but at least I’ll be able to sort it out without the use of keffing proxies who can’t find their arses with both hands and a flashlight.

Paid Off in Full

Well, one of my long-standing battles is finally over. And I lost. For the last two years, I’ve been having endless hassle with Companies House over the annual return for my company. Nothing special – it’s only a sheet of paper. But if it’s filed late with Companies House, they fine you. Fair enough.

I filed my first copy of the return in plenty of time. They lost it. I filed a second one, also in plenty of time. They lost it – and it was now overdue. I sent it to them a third time, recorded delivery. It got there, got signed, and got lost again. Finally, on the fourth go, it was acknowledged, and because it was more than six months late, I was fined £500. Which, needless to say, I objected to – I’d filed on time, and it’d been lost at Companies House. And that’s where it’s been stood ever since.

Companies House is implacable. Sooner or later, they know they will win any issue along these lines. In the end it’s easier to give in, just pay the fucking money, and let them weave their inefficient way through the world. The cheque has had to go via solicitors, and I’ll get a receipt from them. After that it’s not my problem.

However, I do wonder if Comapnies House will ever cash a cheque made payable to “the incompetent inefficient extortionists at Companies House“? *Grin*

Efficient

Considering that my utterly fucking crap landlords still haven’t replaced the window from the break-in, it’s nice to know that some organisations are efficient. Having renewed the contents insurance at 9pm on Friday, I received the complete pack, policy, numbers, and all that gubbins, in the post this morning.

I also received a pack from “Victim Support”, on the same time-scale. Both of which are quite impressive – but I only intend to make use of one of them. And it won’t be the support people.

The joys of insurance, part 2

When it comes to insurance, contents insurance is nothing. A “mere” £350 for the year. The paperwork arrived this morning. In the same post came the documents for the new business insurance – the last lot hadn’t been what I needed, didn’t include Professional Liability etc.

So – I’ve now got new business insurance, including Professional Liability, Employer’s Liability, Public/Products Liability, all the main legal requirements. £11.5m worth of cover, all things considered. (although that includes £10m of Employer’s Liability) which is costing me an annual sum of – sit down – £1,360. All told, I’ve spent (well, I’ve started spending) £1,700 on insurance. *Sigh*

Devil’s Advocate

While the media are – predictably – going bananas about Shevaun Pennington disappearing off into Europe with an ex-Marine, saying he’s a vile paedophile and so on, they seem to be ignoring a couple of – to my mind at least – relevant points.

I know that my views will possibly be contentious, and so be it – they probably are. My first problem with the entire story comes to light with the story that he thought she was 19. Shevaun (and oh lord how I hate that spelling) has been portrayed as some innocent 12-year old who’s done nothing wrong – but 19’s a long way from 12. It’s not even a typo, it’s a lie. And yeah, we all know that the Net is full of people saying they’re things that they’re really not – but she’s no innocent blossom on this one. Would he have come over to see what she was like if he’d known she was really 12? Would he have been attracted to someone nearly a third of his age? Who knows – but I doubt it.

Second is the problem that she took her passport and clothes with her. This isn’t an abduction – she knew she was going to be travelling. She said to friends that this man was her “boyfriend” – personally, I find it far more worrying, far sadder, that people can now see themselves as being “in a relationship” with someone they’ve met online, and have never met in person. To me, that’s just wanking and a keyboard. But I digress.

Yes, in the eys of the law, this ex-marine is going to be in epic amounts of shit – but is that fair? I don’t think so – at most, so far, he’s guilty of being lied to, of being gullible. No-one even knows if she’s yet told him what her age actually is – and I have my doubts that she has. But the law doesn’t care about that – he’ll still be “a child molester”. And while I’m absolutely not pro-paedophiles, I do feel that in this case there’s a likelihood that he doesn’t really qualify for the title.

UPDATED : OK, for once I’m going to qualify this one a bit. In light of Peter’s comments; yes, there are still issues on both sides. Saying “he should’ve walked away” is slightly farcical though – you find out someone’s 12, and walk away from them in the middle of Manchester, London, or Paris. Great way to get yourself even more vilified in the press. As soon as he’d met her and discovered her age, he’s between a rock and a hard place. The only semi-decent way to conclude it would be to travel back with her, and deliver her to her parent’s door. And, of course, then get arrested.

As for “knowing she was 12 when he met her”, I simply don’t believe it’s always possible to tell any more. I’ve a friend with a (just)14 year old daughter, and she could easily get served with alcohol in pubs, let alone cigarettes. Could she pass for 19? Yeah, I think so. Try wandering down the street, working out how old people are. It’s getting more and more difficult.

Pet peeve

via Gordon, I’ve just laughed out loud at some of the phrases in the Guardian’s piece about the future of the apostrophe in the 21st century. Yes, maybe it’s a sign of being a complete bobble-hat – and yes, I did email the story to my father as well, who’ll appreciate it – but the errant apostrophe is a source of irritation for me.

And, while it’s a nasty site (even with the Yellow™), the Apostrophe Protection Society certainly deserves more recognition/publicity. I’ve a nasty suspicion that my father will join up…

Toys

Oooooh – just as I start considering a new main PC for home (the old one is beginning to annoy the tits off me in various ways, so it’s likely to be upgrade time fairly soon), Silicon Graphics releases it’s new machines, the Tezro (stupid name, nice design) and Onyx4 on to the market. I’d never utilise the full power of them, but hey, a geek can dream…

Now, where did I put that wishlist?

The joys of insurance

I renewed my contents insurance on Friday (for obvious reasons) – with MoreThan, the people I was with previously, £60,000 worth of cover including specifics for the two laptops, PC, TV, and so on, has cost me £350 for the year. Not a bad deal.

Looking on the website of my bank, they’re saying “you can have a 10% discount on your insurance because of the account you have with us” In for a penny, in for a pound, I had a look at a quote. Frankly, fuck that. Before the discount, it would’ve cost me £580 for – are you sitting comfortably? – complete cover of £25,000. So 10% discount off that makes it… £522 One hundred and seventy pounds more, for less than half the cover.

Someone’s taking the piss…

Still waiting (part 2)

The SOCO has been round and taken a couple of fingerprints – mainly mine, for reference purposes, but a couple of others as well. They’re not optimistic about it though, and neither am I. Now I’m just waiting for the landlords (it’s a rented property) to come and check the window so they can get it replaced/reglazed. The useless fuckers don’t have any way of contacting them in evenings or weekends, so it had to wait til this morning. Joy.

Still waiting (part 1)

Still no word from Wileys. Tiger-baiting is seeming to be more and more popular as an option. In the meantime, d4d™ zips past the 70,000 page impressions. Not bad going for 11 months in actions.

The cheque has cleared with 34sp.com so the new domain should be live in the next couple of days, with luck. Then I decide how much to play with the design…

Aftermath

Well, the police called round at 3am, to look at the window. Mainly just for the crime number for insurance purposes. All par for the course. He said that if lights hadn’t been on, he wouldn’t have knocked. I’m getting old – the policemen are getting younger.

A fairly sleepless night – the joys of the sofa. The kitchen window wasn’t secure, and I wasn’t prepared to take the chance on some little sod coming back while it wasn’t sorted. My eyes currently closely resemble pissholes in the precipitation.

A morning involved with a trip to B&Q, blocking off the window gap with chipboard and screwing it into place – lots of times – as well as two new bolts on the back gate. Also, making the door between the kitchen extension and rest-of-house secure. It’s ugly, and I resent having to put these measures in place.

I know I’m still ahead of the game – four years of living in a “high crime” area, and this was my first experience of a break-in. Actually, it was my first experience of a break-in. Full stop. I don’t feel the shock and feeling of invasion that people say about – it just seems like another pointless crime, a thing to do because well, why not? He’s left the house, gone to the shops – so lets smash a window and see what we can nick. Not even the IQ to get the batteries from next to the digital camera – an entirely pointless exercise.

It’s not my week

Well, I could almost suspect someone had a grudge against me. I came back from doing some shopping this evening to find the house had been broken into. Nothing special had gone – it looks like I’d disturbed them – but the digital camera (sans batteries) and the old mobile phone, with about 12p of credit on it.

The laptop was unplugged, ready to go, but hadn’t made it. Which was lucky.

I’ve spent the last hour informing the police, renewing the insurance (oopers), trying to get hold of the useless cunting landlord (and failing), letting friends know in case they didn’t want their dog running the vague potential of getting glass in it’s paws, cursing the fucked electric drill, and not much else. Joy.

Farewell, fuck off

With a happy wave of one middle finger, a la the new(ish) pointy man graphic, I’d just like to say that I’m truly pleased to see Section 28 finally leaving the books. I’d publish a guide on “Section 28 for Government Dummies” but I’d get in trouble all over again. Getting rid of this piece of shite has taken 18 years and should never have taken that long, but at least it’s gone now.

And about time too.

Jaundiced

Hmmm, knew there’d be a problem with the Free D4D™ campaign. All the sites I read are now yellow. Reading them at work is – shall we say – problematical. That doesn’t mean the entire thing is unappreciated – in fact I’m totally amazed by the number of people who’ve come out in support of this.

I admit, I really thought that the majority of responses would be akin to Peter’s initial response, “Well, you’ve known it might happen – now it has”. Yes, the Wiley Way was overly heavy-handed, completely out of order, and typically overbearing – interesting, though, to see that even their legal “profession” (I use the term loosely) has gone for the “shock and awe” style of tactics now. But to see the level of support that has been brought about, I can’t begin to express how amazed and grateful I am. (As a side point, d4d™ is now #16 on google if you do a search for “Kirk Bateman” – that’ll upset him.)

I’m yet to hear back from Kirky and his legal mavens. I still don’t even know for sure it wasn’t a hoax. As Iain pointed out, the IP address on the comments from Kirk was correct for Hungry Minds Publishing, owned by Wiley, owned in turn by the official Friends of the Internet&trade, Time Warner. D4D™ was definitely looked at three times by the wiley.com servers. I called the Wiley office, and got put through to Kirk. (At which point, I admit, I rang off – but there’s definitely a Kirk Bateman there) But if I can find that out, so can a hoaxer. At the end of the day, I don’t know how else to check whether it was a hoax or not.

I’m tempted to assume it wasn’t a hoax.

So – where do I go from here? Do I write another email to Kirky, wanting to hear more about what he plans to do? Do I write a formal letter of complaint to Wiley’s, and do I include a mention of the number of sites that have now altered themselves with regard to this cause? Or should I just stay quiet, not cause hassle, and wait for their response?

Lyle™’s useless fact

With a title nicked borrowed straight from Scaryduck (for dummies), I bring you this charming little fact-ette.

Did you know that if you pay cash into your bank account along with a couple of cheques, it can then take up to three days for the cash to “clear” into your account? Apparently it’s “because they’re both on the same slip, they all go off to be processed together”. Yes, that’s right. Cash. Taking three days to “clear”.

It’s been a while

Yes, it’s been quite a while since the last real rant was published. But now there’s a new one ready for the reading. Not that today has been frustrating at all. Honest.

And there was me wondering if I’d finally started to mellow out. There’s life in the cantankerous old goat yet…

Oops

In a wonderful cockup, the Danish Army sent out snowploughs, tractors and grit for icy roads. Hardly newsworthy, except the consignment went out to Danish troops in Iraq. Perhaps the grit can be “discovered” as a Weapon of Mass De-icing.

The web goes Yellow

(Please note the new title bar style – I love CSS for some things. *Grin*) Considering the number of comments that have been made in the past about the yellow on this site, I’m both honoured and amused by the number of people turning their own sites various shades of yellow in support of the Wiley Farce™ (as it’s now affectionately known trademarked) – primarily organised by Peter.

So far, we’ve got Mike, Ian shit, sorry, Iain, Blue Witch, Jann, Steve, Gert, Gordon, London (Spelcnut), and The World (Noodle) – all For Dummies. Additionally, Scaryduck is now “Swearing for Dummies” with the sublime phrase “ the fucking wankers can go piss up a tree“, and Karen at Rise has also joined the “Free d4d™” campaign. Unfortunately, there’s still no sign of a response from the litigious twunts (©Scaryduck™) Wileys – I may have to stir the pot a bit more, if I’m not careful. *Grin*

Now, I wonder if I can trademark “Yellow” before they get to it? (And no, that doesn’t mean I’d sue the supporters – I just like the idea of telling Wileys to Cease and Desist from using Yellow on their covers…

Innocent and profitable

Sometimes, it’s really good to read a success story, particularly one were everyone initially said “It’ll never work”. Innocent drinks is one of those stories – they make a brand of “smoothie” (basically a blend of fruits, pureed) which (having had several, and being a fan) I know are generally delicious.

From the story, they also have a “corporate” culture that is quite different to most places. But more to the point, they’re making money and the people who work for them are happy – sounds like a good deal to me.

Bleurgh

I’m back at work (they’ve insisted on it, while my boss is off sick – because there’s no-one else with the passwords to send stuff up to the council’s site, and hey, World War 3 might break out or something) and feeling abysmal. It wasn’t even the final visit – the crowns for two teeth had been fucked up by the lab, and looked shit, plus there’s some other stuff to do. So I’m back on the 21st.

However, 3 molar root canals, one extraction that was in the right place for wisdom tooth but probably wasn’t, 5 shots of anaesthetic (and yes, it still fucking hurt for the extraction), and plenty of other vile stuff later, I feel utterly chronic. I need an email from Kirky to brighten my day when I get home.

Normal service

But until I hear something from Wileys, I’m going to return to business as usual. One can only batter on about civil rights and fascist litigious Americans for so long before it gets wearing – not just for anyone still reading, but for me too.

Today’s service will be intermittent. I’m off to the dentist’s for my (hopefully) final major visit for a while. 90 minutes. Anaesthetic. One final extraction that they’ve put off because it’ll be an absolute bastard. Plenty of other stuff too. I’m really not looking forward to it. Ah well.

Another update

Well, the events of yesterday were interesting. Kirky didn’t respond (I’m heartbroken) so I’m left in limbo. However, perhaps I should pen an email of thanks, as according to the logfiles, yesterday was one of d4d™’s busiest days ever. Looking at my little Nedstat counter (which only counts on the random page) shoot up like a lottery-winning smackhead was certainly an interesting experience, and it looks like various people then went off on a stroll through the site.

I sent off the cheque for the new domain name this morning too – I’m sticking with the original idea, and when it’s all sorted it’ll be at www.dummies-for-destruction.co.uk Go on, Wiley – sue that. Depending on their response (and whether they even bother to make one) d4d will stay here for a while – however, I’ll also be doing work on d4d v2 as soon as I can. Ooooh, nice new hosting company, PHP, mySQL, the whole lot. For less than I was paying with Easyspace for “space and that’s it”. Now – do I consider moving the entire thing to Moveable Type too? We’ll see.

I’m not alone

Just for the hell of it, I did a search on google for the poison phrases “For dummies” trademark. Wow, there’s a lot of results under that – “For dummies” have been busy bastards people. Fridgemagnet dealt with the exact same situation. Frommers has a letter from Wileys that lists all their supposed trademarks (it’s a Word document, more’s the pity), and there’s many other links besides. Google lists 52,200 results for that little search.

I suspect I may lose the case. However, the war is another matter. *Grin*

UPDATED :Thanks to Quin, who reveals in the comments below that the cynical fuckers Wiley are releasing Patents, Copyrights & Trademarks For Dummies. Ah, sweet irony. I wonder if it’s just “For dummies case law” under a new cover?

Litigation. An update

First of all, thanks for your comments (and posts on your own sites, Peter, Iain and Sapientum) – they’ve been greatly appreciated. As yet, I’ve yet to hear a response from Wiley’s. (Oh, and I did check the log-files this morning – three visits from wiley.com, so I assume there’s at least a bit of legitimacy to this lot) Personally, I find this entire thing from Wiley’s just hilarious – and I do wonder how far they’re prepared to take it. Peter is completely correct when he says I set up this domain as a pisstake – and yes, it doesn’t take a rocket-scientist to realise that the colour-scheme was based upon an homage to the “for dummies” books. When it first came up as an idea, d4d™ was just one of those silly conversational things – but the idea took off, so I bought the domain. According to the initial plan, it was going to be far more satirical and a full piss-take of the for-dummies series, but that didn’t happen. Instead d4d™ mutated into the warped beast that’s here today.

From day one, there’s always been the disclaimer disavowing itself from Wiley, For Dummies, blah blah. D4D™ never passed itself off as being anything to do with the book series, and that’s the way I see it continuing.

Over at Sapientum, it’s already been said that perhaps I changed the graphics and acquiesced too quickly to their demands. Maybe so. However, I’ve always referred to the site as d4d™, so it’s not that much of a trauma. Besides, I quite like the new pointy man – and the raised middle finger is definitely indicative of Wiley’s attitude to the world. However, the domain name will stay mine ’til Wileys make a decision. In the meantime, I’m also going to sort out a new domain name – suggestions gratefully received, although I think I know what it’ll be *Grin* – so any changeover will happen easily and smoothly. I do feel that as it’s Wileys who are raising this as a problem, that they should be willing to pay for registering a new domain name – that’s a reasonable offer, so I’m absolutely certain they won’t take me up on it.

I don’t yet know how long or hard I’ll fight this – as Peter and GF both say, Wileys have far more resources than I, so the winner of any battle is likely to be a foregone conclusion. However, the attitude that this has been done with so far, the typically litigious American way of “stop using it, or we’ll sue – this is federal law” utterly stinks. If anything could be more calculatedly red-rag to a bull, I don’t know what it is. The fact that the trained monkey-turd lawyer/administrator for Wiley couldn’t even email me (and there’s a contact me page with the email address on) shows how abysmal they really are. As such, I’m not going to take it laying down. I’m looking forward to seeing Kirk Bateman’s response – and also whether he’ll manage to figure out how to reply to an email instead of leaving snotty comments.

Response

I never could resist the chance to reply…

Dear Mr Bateman,

Many thanks for your comments – I would refer to them as an email, but it seems you are far more prepared to leave comments instead of emails. Obviously this gives the lie to the intent “to deal with this matter informally“, as the communication was left in the public domain. I understand this actually can be seen to constitute the UK criminal offence of “threatening behaviour”, as your open communication contained threats of un-named further actions.

Regarding the points in your comments, I should first of all point out that as destruction-for-dummies.co.uk is a completely UK-based domain, it does not fall under the “federal” laws of the US. The domain (which I shall hereafter refer to as d4d™, which is it’s normal name) has been registered with Nominet (the UK registrar) since 2000 – I am surprised it has taken your company this long to find it. I would also suggest that Wileys should perhaps spend some money and reserve all “for dummies” domain names, if they are so obsessive about this style of domain name.

Having read the copyright notices on www.dummies.com, I also notice that you insist upon holding the trademark for (among others) the phrase “Unofficial Guide” – having looked on Google ( http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&newwindow=1&safe=off&q=%22unofficial+guide%22&spell=1 ) it seems you have at least 72,000 other trademarks to consider. I should also point out that since the first day of owning the d4d™ domain, there has been a disclaimer on the index page, disavowing all relation to the for-dummies brand. However, in accordance with your comments, I have removed any reference to “for dummies” from the site graphics etc. Obviously it is impossible to remove the reference to “for dummies” from the domain name.

If Wiley is serious about attempting to remove d4d from the web, I would hope that as part of the “informal” proceedings, they would be willing to pay for the registration and hosting of a new .co.uk domain name of my choosing. As it is purely down to Wiley’s insistence that this matter has arisen, I believe that this resolution would be one that would be mutually satisfying.

If you have any further comments, please feel free to contact me by replying to this email. At least that should help it keeping the comments out of the public domain.

Sincerely

Lyle™
Domain Owner.

Busted

Left in my comments box
Re: Trademark Infringement
Domain name: destruction-for-dummies.co.uk

Dear Mr. xxxxx Lyle:

Wiley Publishing, Inc. (�Wiley�), owner of the famous and well-regarded (well regarded? don’t make me laugh!) FOR DUMMIES trademarks, recently became aware of your registration of the above-referenced domain name (well done, it’s only been registered for two years). You may be unaware that use of the phrase �For Dummies� or a similar formative of this phrase as a domain name infringes and dilutes our famous trademarks, and such use is not permitted under federal trademark laws. (so – that’s US laws then. What about UK law?)

In order to fully protect (go on, split another infinitive) its valuable trademarks, Wiley unfortunately cannot allow use of the domain name, destruction-for-dummies.co.uk, for a web site (so why didn’t you get the domain name yourselves?). Our initial review of this site indicates it is active and includes the For Dummies? trademark in the title of the page. Wiley requests that you discontinue using the domain name destruction-for-dummies.co.uk, and remove all references to FOR DUMMIES from your site.

While we prefer to resolve this matter informally (if it’s that informal, why did you send this to my comments box and do it in public rather than sending it by email?), Wiley is fully prepared to use all legal remedies available to protect our trademark rights and corporate assets (pay for my trip to the US and I’ll seeya in court).

Please contact me if you have any questions. (Oh, rest assured, I will. And I’ll publish it all here too) Wiley appreciates your cooperation with this matter.

Sincerely,

Kirk A. Bateman
Administrator, Brand Management & Contracts
Wiley Publishing, Inc.
(317) 572-3355
Email: kbateman@wiley.com

And yes, I do intend to leave the full name, address, phone number (it’s his direct line, folks) and email address here. They were left in the public domain. That’s where they’ll stay.

Harlem Biblebashers

Sometimes I just love the BBC’s news site (hell, I love it most of the time anyway, regardless) and in particular their ability to find some of the quirkier stories.

Today’s gem is the Gray (sic) Friars, a set of Franciscan monks who have come to London from the New York Bronx. They’ve even started lessons in basketball, and are entering “proper matches”. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded that not all Christians are the same as the bigots of the Anglican Church (and many other Churches)

Taking the piss – the first 2003 Festering Season mention

At work today, I received an email. They’re already trying to organise/sort out their Christmas office do. Oh joy, oh bliss, oh lucky lucky me.

My RSVP simply said “Bah Humbug”.

Will they have the feet?

Well, last year I dragged my parents to see Marsyas at Tate Modern. (I need to drag them to Birdget Riley’s exhibition there this year) And now it looks like I’ll have to force my father to the Science Museum in London too.

Actually, who am I kidding? I’ll enjoy an exhibition of the technology behind the Lord of the Rings films too. *Grin*

Lancaster and Morecambe

There’ll be a page with photos etc. later, but all in all it was an OK day. The basic decision was that I needed a day off, and so the world famous Atlas of Randomness™ and woe betide them, Lancaster and Morecambe got the pin.

Lancaster was the first stop. I can’t deny it, it wasn’t a long stop – I wasn’t impressed. Really, what Lancaster reminded me of most was the Guardian’s recent diatribe about the homogeneity of town centres – it could’ve been Anytown UK, all the same stores, all the same designs, there wasn’t anything special about the place. Maybe I just didn’t see enough of it – but after half an hour I’d lost the will to live, and most certainly lost the desire to explore the place more.

Back to the train station, and on to Morecambe. For some bizarre reason, I love being close to the sea, and this weekend, it was what I wanted. And sea’s what I got. Kind of. In the end.

Morecambe’s a very strange place. Then again, I think all seaside places are pretty weird – it’s all part of the way they are. Even among those, Morecambe’s weird. For some reason (I assume because it’s some kind of haven for bird-watchers) every bloody bollard along the seafront has a bird on the top of it. Every roundabout has sculptures of seabirds on it – Gannets, Gullemots, Cormorants. Yet it’s also the place that has had the Midland Hotel – one of the most significant Art Deco buildings in the UK, and it’s in ruins, a complete shell. Truly sad.

All in all, it was an OK day – two places I’d never been, and quite honestly, two places I won’t go back to. But not a bad day still.

1000th comment

Somewhere in the last week, someone’s placed the 1.000th comment here on d4d. However, as Haloscan have recently fucked up altered their numbering system, I have no idea who, when, or what the comment was. I know that last week it was on 980 or so, and there’s been more than 20 comments this week.

So congratulations, whoever it was. Can’t believe there’ve been 1,000 commenters here in less than a year. Happy Day.

You mean he’s got some?

Ah, the powers of self-persuasion. El Presidente Blair is now alleging that the BBC claiming that the Government “sexed-up” the report on Iraqi weapons undermined Blair’s intergrity integrity. Eh? I’m amazed he can even spell the word, let alone believe he’s got any.

UPDATED :Thanks, Vicky, for pointing out that I also can’t type it – thankfully I’ve never tried implying I’ve got any.

But before I go…

A couple of gems from yesterday’s Google searches.
I have no idea what Problems with d4d in africa may mean, but so far as I know there’s no problems with Africa seeing d4d.
Slightly worryingly, I come in third for Smelly armpits when I wake up in the morning – I have no desire to know any further information on that subject.

Lyle moves…

Well, not really. Not permanently, not even semi-permanently. But I’m off, in a fit of randomness and “why the hell not, I’ve never been there before”ism, to Morecambe for the day. Sea. Beer. Sea. The camera is coming with me. The laptop (amazingly) isn’t. Photos (if you’re lucky) will be here when I can be arsed.

Have fun yourselves, and I’ll be back sometime tonight. Or maybe tomorrow. It all depends, really.

God moves…

I bet he walked out of the church (well, ran out probably) still saying “Give me a sign…“

RIP

The walrus of luuuuuuuuurve.

Aaaaaaaaaargh!

Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t fucking care about Tim fucking bastard Henman, whether he’s at the top of his game, whether he’s an arse covered in white flannel, or – in fact – any fucking thing else about bastard Wimbledon. Why the keff do people insist on obsessing about the dull little loser – wonderful, he’s a UK Tennis player, and he’s (supposedly) the best we’ve got, and he’s a darling of the media – but face it, he doesn’t bloody win. He gets to the quarter-finals, the semi-finals, whatever, and fucking loses. Every time.

All hail Henman, the “Eddie the Eagle” of tennis. Now just shut up about the prick, OK?

Aftermath

Pissed. Utterly pissed. Thorughly good night in the company of two gorgeous women. Pissed. Going for chinese. Back later. Maybe.

Feminism and Equality

Following on from Green Fairy’s post about the current state of feminism, I’ve been thinking about it a bit. Not necessarily in terms of right/wrong, or even with regard to feminism per se.

The thing that I’ve noticed now in just about every workplace is that feminism’s main result (OK, it’s other main result) has actually been to foster a distrust – even a dislike – of women in much the same way that America’s “Affirmative Action” has spawned a level of resentment against those whom it was meant to be helping. I’ve seen far too many situations where the phrase “Well, she got the job because she’s female” is used, along with the implication that a person would get the job, even in the face of better applications, because the company in question needed to show how “fair” and “unbiased” it was. For every job/contract in the last five years, I’ve filled in an “equal opportunities” form to detail my gender, birthplace, “ethnic origin”, mother tongue, and various other details. Why? Shouldn’t the criteria for getting the job be my skillset, not my genitalia or skin colour?

When feminism and work equality first came to the forefront, this kind of policy was essential, because there simply weren’t the women in the workplace. Now, the work environment – and life in general – are much more level playing fields, so is there still a need for this kind of policy to be in action? We’re now in a situation where (as I’ve commented/ranted before) the balance has in some cases gone the other way.

Personally, I believe in equality – not feminism, nor any other -ism, but equality. I believe that feminism, in addition to all the other “Affirmative Action”-type policies have had their day, and are now perhaps even proving to have a negative effect on their own goals. In an ideal world everyone would be taken on their merits – and gender, race, religion, etc. etc. wouldn’t matter a toss. Perhaps that’s now the target we should be aiming for.

Sociability

While Aquarionics is sorting out a London blogmeet, I started thinking about a similar thing for the North-West. From the comments below about the new Manchester sky-scraper, it looks like there’s a fair number of bloggers (Sorry, “personal publishers”, daaahling) in the area. Therefore – what’re the chances of some kind of Mancunian Meet?

Is it something that’s been done already and I’ve just missed it, or would it be a good idea anyway? Feedback gratefully received – comments, mails, whichever.

Ah, the joys of discrimination

If, like me, you end up setting up random accounts in Yahoo! and similar, then you’ll have noticed that there’s a “new” (i.e. it’s been introduced in that last year or so) test, involving a word embedded in an image, like the one below.

It turns out, according to this story in CNet news that these “anti-spambot” techniques are discriminating against the blind. (And yes, this does seem obvious in hindsight – but I hadn’t thought of it ’til now, I admit) The problem is that even voice readers can’t deal with the images satisfactorily – apparently the word has to be garbled enough that a computer can’t recognise it and use it. An interesting challenge between security and accessibility.

Better than dieting

Sometimes I just despair. I wasn’t really aware of this (although I suppose I should have been) but it turns out Kraft (and various other companies) are reducing portion sizes in the US in order to combat obesity. OK, I can see the logic – to a degree. Smaller portion size means people eat less. Well, until they just eat two portions instead.

What really got to me though is that Americans are now sueing the people who make the food/drinks that contribute to their obesity. As always, there’s got to be someone to blame, and it can’t be ourselves – blame a company instead. It doesn’t seem to occur to them that the main reason they’re obese is because they eat too much. Not rocket science, is it? But no – instead, let’s blame Macdonalds, Burger King, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, whoever – because of course we all thought fast-food was healthy, didn’t we?

Of course we did – well, there wasn’t a health warning on the side of the burger wrapper that said “caution – eating too many of these will make you into a fat git“. The drinks didn’t have a warning that said “contains more sugar than the average tin of golden syrup”. So of course we didn’t think they’d make us fat, unhealthy, obese. It’s a shock to our systems, a trauma – and we should sue because of it. No-one told us to eat less – we thought it was OK to eat til we nearly burst.

Of course, it’s also probably hard for Kraft to make itself out to be too healthy anyway, as their main brands are things like Dairylea, Philadelphia cream cheese, and Toblerone chocolate. Oh, and they’re also owned by tobacco manufacturer, Phillip Morris.

What’s in your wallet?

In Northampton, they’re doing a trial of a PIN number system supposed to help reduce credit-card fraud. Supposedly it’s been a success. The “Chip and Pin” method means that when you hand over your credit card to make a payment, you also have to type in a PIN number.

However, a piece today in the Register suggests that it’s not as secure as the card companies would like people to think. Big Shock. Unfortunately, so long as it’s possible to intercept the data being passed through to the credit-card company’s computers, there will be card fraud. Just because there’s more data (i.e. a PIN number) doesn’t make it any harder to intercept. And it’s also possible that the new “Chip and Pin” methods will also increase identity fraud – hence just moving the fraud to a different area.

High-rise

It looks like Manchester may be getting another addition to it’s skyline. Ian Simpson Architects have designed the UK’s highest living area – a 47 storey glass tower, 171 metres (561 ft, for the pre-decimal in my readership) high.

Personally, I love the way the skyline of Manchester has developed, even over the four years I’ve been here. So much has changed, what with Urbis and No 1 Deansgate (both also designed by Ian Simpson) and so on, and I’m sure there will be several more changes over the next few years.

For some reason, the spirit of change appears to have hit Manchester in the last five to ten years – long may it continue to stay.

CSS – again

Well, following on from the minor (in appearance, anyway) redesign of d4d, there were still problems with the right-hand side not being yellow all the way to the bottom. That’s now fixed – in Opera at least. IE and Nutscrape still appear to hate it, but that’s just tough. Thanks Pat for advice and so on – and yes, it did take me some time to look more at it. I still may end up cheating and just using a table for the basic layout – although CSS purists would shout at me for doing so. I’ll see how it goes.

Speaking of CSS purists, Pinky pointed out that the CSS here didn’t actually validate. Mea Culpa, I hadn’t actually checked it. Turns out, it was actually the CSS code I’d got from Blogrolling that was keffed, but that’s now sorted – observant readers will note the new graphic saying so down on the right somewhere too. *Grin*

John Connolly – Bad Men

I’ve been a fan of John Connolly’s novels – lots of different reasons, but the blend of crime novel with a dollop of the supernatural and/or mystic. A lot of the critics have sneered at Bad Men, saying it’s cod-Stephen-King, and yes, in some ways it is – even down to the fact it’s based in Maine. Yes, a lot of it is fairly predictable, but for me there’s something special about Connolly’s way with words, the way he writes, that makes it different.

For me, “Bad Men” is on a par with the other novels of Connoly’s. This is the first one to focus on a main character other than Charlie “Bird” Parker, although he still has a cameo appearance. As such, there’s a slightly different feel and setting to this one, but it’s instantly recognisable as Connolly. I don’t know why so many of the reviews I’ve read have apparently disliked the book – maybe the style is an acquired taste. I’m happy to be a voice in the minority, and to say I enjoyed it all the way through.

Eh?

I couldn’t resist posting this experiment in pure bollocks from today’s BBC story about the US planning a hypersonic bomber.

“Moreover, the current and future international political environment severely constrains this country’s ability to conduct long-range strike missions on high-value time-critical targets from outside CONUS [the continental United States].“. Now – any ideas what that load of bollocks is all about? No, me either. The only thing going in it’s favour is that it makes more sense than “The intent is to hold adversary vital interests at risk at all times, counter anti-access threats, serve as a halt phase shock force and conduct suppression of enemy air-defence and lethal strike missions as part of integrated strategic campaigns in the Twenty First Century.“. Which isn’t saying much. I’d make more sense out of reading “Mongolian for beginners – the Serbo-Croat edition”.

To me it just looks like someone’s been using the Management Bible as bedtime reading.

2020 : Anyone got a light?

As reported in various sources today, the Institution of Civil Engineers (surely an oxymoron, I’ve never met a civil one in my life) has released a fairly pessimistic (but still believable) report into the future of the UK’s energy usage.

Because of emissions laws etc., by 2020 the UK wil have no more coal-fired power stations, and only one of the current nuclear stations will still be in use. And as yet, renewable energy is nowhere near to being used to it’s full extent, so (according to the report) we would have to import gas from other countries – mainly politically unstable ones.

More and more, we should be looking at renewable energy – I know some companies are looking at it (it’s still not available online, but I did do the work on United Utilities “Green Energy” site) but it’s still got nowhere near enough investment. Would the NIMBY bastards would rather have powercuts instead of the wind-farms they’re currently pissing and moaning about?

Poetic justice

I wonder whether ITV will now sack Alastair Stewart from presenting his abysmal “Police, Camera, Action!” series, as he’s been barred from driving for 2½years following pleading guilty to drink-driving.

We can only hope. If so, can I suggest that people keep an eye open for a pissed Michael Barrymore, Jerry Springer, David Frost or Loyd Grossman? (Just think, get the last two, no more “Through the Keyhole” – maybe there is a god after all)