Trademark Infringement

Oh, sweet irony. Toyota have rebranded their range of diesel engines. The branding for them is – wait for it – d4d. Now, following on from all that shite with Wiley’s, should d4d™ write a snotty letter to Toyota, requesting that they cease and desist from using my brand-name on their engines? Or should I (for once) just keep my head down and not piss people off?

From their site (so yes, it’s ©Toyota)

D-4D actually stands for direct Injection 4 Cylinder Common Rail Diesel Engine.

Surely if it stood for that, it’d be “dI4CCRDE” – what a load of old marketing bollocks.

However, we then get

“What D-4Ds are noteworthy for is their unusually high power outputs, equivalent to that of many competitors’ similarly-sized petrol engines. The D-4D’s rev range is also usefully wider than normal, further enhancing the driving experience.“

I can’t deny d4d™’s unusually high power outputs, but I’m refusing to comment on my range being usefully wider than normal.

Talking with Fucktards, Part 1

Of all the things involved with moving house, I have to say that it’s the utilities companies that make life harder than anyone else. Well, that’s my consistent experience, anyway. In fairness, BT have been fairly efficient this time, and my number moved across to the new house with only one brief problem (which still meant I had to call them and sort it out, but at least it was done immediately) that wasn’t of utter urgency. All the same, it’s a simple process and shouldn’t involve even one small cock-up.

Energy suppliers are a different matter. I’d recently swapped suppliers at the old place, from TXU Powergen (*Spits*) to British Gas. OK, so I want the same supplier at the new place, let’s simply swap suppliers. I’ve given them two weeks notice of the moving date – surely it won’t take that long? Guess again. In fact, I’m still with the old suppliers of gas/electric to the house – it’ll take at least six weeks to move the account over to British Gas. Efficiency at it’s best. For now, it’s with NPower, God help me. I rang them up to give them the new meter readings, so we can start the account from the day I moved in (being honest, for once).

Yes, Hello, I’d like to give you the meter readings for the property I’ve just moved into.
What’s your account number?
No idea – I’ve just moved into the property. There was a letter here saying to call you and register the readings
Oh, well we really need the account number, sir.
Well, I haven’t got one. Can’t you check via the address, and work it that way?
*Sigh* Oh, I suppose so…

After five minutes of huffing and puffing, we get it sorted.

OK, I’ll just put you through to the electricity meter department so you can give them the reading.
…
Hello, Gas Meter department…

Talking with Fucktards, Part 2

Then we went on to my old friends, United Fucking Useless Utilities. Again, I’d called them two weeks ago to inform them of the new address, and the date I’d be moving. I’d had to call them, because their poxy bastard online piece-of-shit form for “helping” to make moving house less stressful won’t accept dates in the future. So instead I have to call them, and tell them I’m moving. Another quarter of an hour on the phone. Competence just doesn’t come into it with utilities companies.

Anyway, I get to the new house, and lo and behold, they’ve managed to do it right. A bill for a small outstanding amount – the difference between places because of different rateable values, or somesuch. It’s less than a tenner, that’s fine – about what I’d expected.

Last night, however, I get home to another bill from UU, this time addressed to “the occupier”. Dated four days after the correct bill I got sent out, and for the full amount of a year’s water rates. So, check the account number – What the fuck?!?, it’s the same account number as the one they’ve sent out in my name. Yup, it’s time for another phone call, find out what the feck they’re playing at – last time there was a cock-up like this, it took me 2½ years to sort out – I’m not going through that shit again

Yes, Hello, I’m calling because I’ve received two bills on the same property, on the same account number, and I’m just trying to find out what’s going on.
*bored voice*OK, when did you move in?
12th September
Well, the two must’ve got crossed in the post.
But the one to “occupier” was sent four days after the correct one
Yeah, they must’ve got crossed in the system. It wouldn’t have known you were there yet, would it?
*deep breath*No, the correct one was sent out before the incorrect one. So you’d got my account details, and then another bill’s been sent out on the same customer reference
Yeah, they must’ve crossed in the system. (And I must be in a fucking timewarp) So one’s got your name on it, and the other one hasn’t, right?
Yes
Well, there you go then. No worries.*Click*

NOT the most helpful fuckhead on Earth – I called them back, and finally ended up speaking to someone who understood. The problem’s now been dealt with, and hopefully the little gimp will be getting a bollocking for being useless, rude, and a complete cunt. I doubt it though – with an attitude like that, he’ll probably be getting promoted to manager within the month.

Pre-Raphaelite

Somehow, it doesn’t come as a particular shock to know that Lord Lloyd-Webber collects Victorian and Pre-Raphaelite paintings, some of which are currently on loan as part of an exhibition. Personally, I’ve always loathed these horrendously sentimental and twee paintings – the subject matter is enough to induce mass vomiting, although I can’t help but admire the technique, the accuracy with which the non-human pieces of each painting are portrayed.

If you want a look at some of the collection, it’s visible here. Just remember to pack a puke bucket first.

Nominate your local grot-hole

I suspect that they could end up being busy, but according to this piece in the Guardian there is now a search going on for the most wasted piece of space/ground in the UK.

Wastedspace.org.uk is the place to go to place your nominations (and I don’t think they’ll accept “Coventry” or “Milton Keynes” as an example of wasted space, but hell, it’s worth a go) and to get more information. Oh, and someone’s already nominated the Millenium Dome. *Grin*

Broadband

Having moved, I’ve been back on the joys of a 56k dial-up for internet access, instead of the ADSL I’ve been used to for the last 18 months. It’s quite a shock to the system, and in honesty I hadn’t appreciated how much I’d got used to broadband until it was no longer there. Anyway, I’ve now sorted out getting the ADSL installed again at the new address, and it’ll be done by the end of the month. (I could have done it faster, but I need the account from the old place to be uninstalled from my phone line first, or something) Already I’m counting the days. Sad, isn’t it?

Updates

No, my missive to el Presidente Blair hasn’t been put up on FuckThankyoutony.com – now there’s a shocker.

However, the cheque I wrote out to “The extortionists at Manchester Glass” has been cashed with no problem whatsoever. And D4D™ is now 32nd(ish) in Google for the search phrase “Manchester Glass”. With luck that’ll just keep on going up – when it’s in the top ten I’ll be happy.