Extortion

Lyle’s Amazing Facts #1 – the first in an occasional series

Maybe I’m naïve, but did you know that if your house is broken into and the police call out a boarding-up service (no matter how shonky the service) then you’re financially responsible for the fees from that service? I didn’t.

After the break-in a month ago, the police called out a bunch of cowboys called Manchester Glass, who boarded up the broken window.
Materials – a sheet of chipboard, and eight screws (at least two of which didn’t even bite into the wood of the windowframe)
Cost to me? £70.50. Bearing in mind that the new window cost me only £50, I reckon that’s a bit of a piss-take, particularly considering that I didn’t even request the service.

Over the weekend, I got a snotty letter from Manchester Glass, saying that if I didn’t pay the amount, they’d take me to County Court. (Quite how they’d manage this without even knowing my name is a seperate question) I spoke to an exceptionally officious member of their staff today, enquiring how I can be financially responsible for a service I didn’t request, and whether a County Court would accept this as a reason for not paying. The answers, in order, were

“You’ll have to talk to the police about that, I wouldn’t know”
and
“we’ve been to court on lots of occasions, and we’ve never lost a case yet”

In the causes of an easy life, and because I can’t be arsed with the stress, I’ve sent them a cheque – recorded delivery – today. Perfectly legal – it’s got a payee in the correct name and everything. Whether they cash it or not is an entirely different matter – it’s made out to “The Extortionists at Manchester Glass“.

Biometrics

On the BBC, there’s a story about how scientists have created a way for computers to detect the way you use your mouse to “sign” your signature, and use it as a method of online ID verification. Already I can spot a couple of potential problems with it – for example, what if a person is using a laptop, with either the touchpad or the “nipple” touchpoint instead of a “proper” mouse? What if (like me on occasion) they use a trackball?

I’m always interested in biometrics, and how they can be used to verify identity and so on, but more and more I find myself believing they should be used as an extra layer of confirmation, rather than an absolute form of identification. Fingerprints are uniquely identifiable, so is DNA (and once we get round to a security system that can sample one’s DNA from skin cells then we’ll be into a whole different world of security, identity theft, and the like), but I’m pretty certain that the way I use a mouse isn’t unique. Maybe I’m wrong – but I’d have to see some pretty conclusive proof before I believed it.

I may cry

It’s been productive again – out of the 20 items I’ve got on the list of people who need to know I’m changing address, and things that need doing (mail redirection etc.), I’ve now got four left to sort out. All of the remaining ones are items that can’t be crossed off until I’ve sorted an exact moving date, so there’s keff all I can do with them until I’ve seen the removals people. I’m talking to most of those tomorrow, getting some quotes ASAP. I must be barmy…

Cornwall photos

Ooops, knew there was something I’d forgotten to do, what with everything else that was going on this week. I’d forgotten to post the photos from the weekend in Cornwall, and particularly the Lost Gardens of Heligan. So enjoy. I knew I’d remember to do them in the end…

Sunday shopping

There’s an expression that seems to work very well when surrounded by screaming brats on a Sunday in the middle of Tesco. That expression is

“If you don’t house-train your hellspawn, I’ll train them for you”

Bureaucracy

Ye Gods, I’d forgotten the amount of paperwork involved in changing addresses. I’ve made a list, and it’s got about fifteen different things on it just for changing details. Nightmare. Still, in a pretty productive day I’ve managed to change address details at the bank, the (lovely lovely) insurance people, the two book clubs I belong to, Companies House (for the two limited companies I’m director of, as well as moving the registered office of the main one to my new address), and effing Britannia – who I’d love to abandon, but they’re like Reader’s Digest, and just keep coming after you. In addition, I’ve spoken to two removals companies, and they’ll be giving me quotes early next week.

Two more gigs

The rest of the year is beginning to look like Concert Central now. I’ve just also managed to get tickets to see Good Charlotte and Evanescence later this year. Currently, it’s now looking like I’ll have been able to get out of every single “family” Festering Season™ type thing in December, as I’ve got a concert every weekend ’til Christmas.

Not that it was planned like that – honest. *Ahem*