NYE

Well, it looks like ’04 is going to come in with much the same sense of occasion let-down and anticlimax as 2003. People ask why I loathe New Year’s Eve and all the shit that goes with it – it’s because the entire thing is (for me, anyway) a colossal let-down, a constant reminder that hope and optimism get dashed.

So here’s to you, 2003 – in some ways you’ve been a good year, and in others you’ve been a complete cunt. Cheers.

Addendum

Oh yeah, and Happy Birthday and lots of other sideways stuff for Peter over at Naked Blog. Not just a birthday, but another anniversary too. All the best for what looks like being a pretty arduous day…

Review of 2003 or
Thank fuck that’s over and done with

Well, most places seem to be doing their summing up of 2003, now that we’re on the final day of it. I’m not sure I’m quite going to go down the path of “best and worst of ’03” nor simply some “best bits“

2003’s been a bloody busy year here – as well as two blogmeets, and the now infamous change of domain name (thanks Wileys) d4d™ shot past the 100,000th page impression without even blinking, and had a load of content added all over the place. It’s been an eventful year for sure, although looking back at what I wanted to happen in 2003 and comparing it to now makes me realise I’ve achieved precisely fuck all of the hopes listed. A couple started, and then got put on hold again, and rather than buying a house I just moved to a different rented property after the two break-ins at the old place.

Things have changed a lot in the last year – mainly for the better. Now I just want to get today and tomorrow over and done with, then I can get on with the things I want to work on. I’ll probably add more odds, sods, and thoughts during the day, but for now – well, I hope everyone else has the New Year they expect/hope for/want, and all the best for 2004. Me, I’ve got a couple of friends and a dog, and we’re likely to be staying in, avoiding arseholes, and not doing much at all. Sounds like a plan to me…

Cooking with Lyle Craddock – part 2

Ah, now that’s much more like it. Another steamed sponge, this time with sliced apple on the bottom, and stewed apple (OK, before anyone thinks I’m way too domesticated, I cheated and used a tin of apple pie filling) then a standard sponge mix, with some added cinnamon. 25 minutes in the steamer. A quick prayer to Delia and Fanny, followed by flipping the pud onto a plate.

The finishing touch? Demerara sugar, blowtorched into caramelisation. Yummy.

And on and on it goes

It gets better. The response to the email below is as follows…

Dear Customer

Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk.

I hope you’ll understand that we do our best to ensure that all of our customer orders leave our Fulfilment Centre as close as possible to the availability and delivery estimates that are listed on our website.

We are sorry that your shopping experience at Amazon.co.uk has been so disappointing.

Please know that your business is very important to us. We hope that you will allow us another opportunity to prove the quality of our service to you in the future.

Thank you for shopping at Amazon.co.uk.

I bet this won’t be the last thing I write to the incompetent motherfuckers….

OK, this situation is now beyond farcical. Is there any chance of Amazon managing to send a reply to my queries that _isn’t_ a form response?

In response to an email saying “you’ve lost a customer”, the reply says “we hope you’ll give us another chance”. Frankly, if I got any response from a person as opposed to a glib form-letter, I might consider it.

So far this problem has now carried over no less than seven emails. Absolutely none of them have addressed the problem that we are dealing with here – namely that Amazon has utterly failed to deliver the ordered goods at the expected time, and has then utterly failed to manage my problem at all.

When Amazon is capable of either a) sending me a personalised response from a customer service manager, and b) manages the obviosuly impossible task of calling me on 07729 60xxxx to explain why the entire process has gone wrong on this occasion, then I might consider coming back to Amazon.

Until those occurrences, then I will not be shopping through Amazon again, and will in fact go out of my way to direct people to other online stores instead of Amazon.

Congratulations – not only have you lost a regular customer, you’ve also hacked him off enough that he’ll tell all his friends and colleagues not to use them. An impressive achievement, for want of a simple explanation and “sorry”.

Useless bastards

Way back on the 12th December, I ordered two books from Amazon for part of my parent’s christmas presents. Various complaints have ensued, but today’s one was the final straw. First we have Amazon’s reply to my previous email…

Dear Customer

Thank you for contacting Amazon.co.uk with your enquiry about your
order #202-9848300-35xxxxx.

First of all let me apologise for the delay you have experienced in
the dispatch of your order.

Having checked your order, we can now confirm that it was sent from
our Fulfilment Centre in the UK on 30 December via Parcelforce 24
using the following tracking number RR470xxxx.

Here is the delivery address for your order:

xxxx (deleted delivery address, for obvious reasons)

In addition to our large selection of goods, one of the benefits we’d
like to offer our customers is convenience, and I realise that we have
not met that standard in this case. I hope that you will give us
another opportunity to prove the quality of our service to you in the
future.

We do want to make sure you receive your order. Thank you for
shopping at Amazon.co.uk.

Which resulted in this being sent back to them…

Frankly, to receive an email saying “one of the benefits we offer to customers is convenience” is quite insulting in this situation. Damn right Amazon haven’t offered convenience in this instance.

I placed this order on the 12th December – plenty of time for a company that says it will deliver within two days. (as the order said at the time) In fact, we’re now 18 days down the line, and they’ve finally been dispatched. Because of Amazon’s blatant incompetence, I’ve had to field arguments from (understandably) hacked-off parents who’ve thought I didn’t get them anything for Christmas. To receive things a week late is better than never receiving them, but not by much. In this case, apologies don’t matter a toss – with my current feelings about Amazon, I may use them for my convenience, but I’ll never trust them to deliver presents to anyone else again, and nor will I recommend them to anyone else.

The simple fact of the matter is – Amazon didn’t fulfil their part of the agreement. There’s been no explanation of why, and the requested phone call has (as expected) never happened. The level of customer service and complaint investigation is appalling, and I currently wouldn’t recommend Amazon to my worst enemy.

Many congratulations on the almost-certain loss of another customer.

Which seems reasonable.

Wow

Thanks to a small obsession (i.e. regularly, but not every five minutes) looking at my referrers, I’ve discovered that d4d™ has it’s very own Googlewhack. How geeky pleased am I?