Mid-Bench

When I’m working, at lunchtime I tend to go out, get a sandwich from somewhere, then find somewhere to sit and eat it. I like being outside – even in Winter – unless the conditions are just ridiculous. For instance, there’s obviously no point sitting outside when there’s a thunderstorm.
Particularly when it’s sunny though, I find there’s something that really pisses me off. If I’d thought about it, I’d have added it to Month Of The Bastard. (and I probably will do for the next one – because oh yes, there’ll be another one without a doubt) It involves the benches in the local park. Well, wherever I go for lunch – currently it’s Parker’s Piece in Cambridge, but the same appears to apply wherever.
Now I don’t mind people sitting on the benches, and I don’t mind sharing my bench with other people. Amazingly, I’m kind of reasonable like that. But the huge majority of people don’t want that, r don’t think about it – and they plonk themselves right in the middle of the bench/seat. I don’t know if it’s a conscious decision, to be honest, but when you have eight benches, each with one person plonked in the middle and trying to dominate the entire thing, well, it pisses me off.
Me? I sit at one end of the bench. Then anyone else who comes along can also site at the other end, or if it’s a couple, they can sit together. Doesn’t bother me, I don’t mind – they’re public property after all (well, council property, but you know what I mean) so who cares?
But with Mr (and it’s usually a bloke) Middle-Sitter, they’re trying to dominate, to make sure that people don’t sit on the same bench as them. It’s as though the bench is- at least temporarily- theirs, and no-one else can encroach upon it. Of course, to me that’s like a red rag to a bull, so I tend to sit in one of the spare sections. Even if there’s an empty bench just along the way. (Not that any of the Mr Middles ever mentions that) It’s funny as hell.