Seasonal

Over the last couple of days (well, this week, really) I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve been, and the stuff that’s been going on in my head.

I know that my motivation has been rock-bottom for a lot of the last two months, and that there’s a lot of stuff I could’ve done (perhaps even should’ve) but I just didn’t get round to it. I’ve actually preferred going back to the B&B, and – if I’m honest – really not doing much.

Of course, that’s still my version of “not doing much”, as opposed to anyone else’s version. I’ve still started an OU course, written loads of stuff for D4D™, put together two websites, written some snippets of code to help out other people, and gone through the jus of debugging those snippets when the recipients had NumptyMoments®, (I’m not going to name names – they know who they are!) written a butt-load of emails, sorted out various other odds and sods, written letters, and generally caught myself up on a fair number of things.

But still, I know that deep inside me, it’s been unproductive in a lot of ways – there’s a lot more I could’ve done, anyway- and that instead I’ve wanted to be curled up in my room/cave/whatever, rather than going out into the big wide world.

It’s no bad thing, in general. And I know that I’ve also needed the down-time. The first two-thirds of this year have not been great, and I’ve needed recovery time from all that crap.

But equally I do think – with perfect hindsight – that the old Seasonal Depression has caught up with me a lot this year as well, and I can now see/feel the effects of that too.

Once we’ve done the move, I’m hoping that things wil settle down a bit, and I can get on with some stuff. That’s the plan, anyway.

But more than anything else I think it’s just that I’m going to have to keep an eye on that old SAD this year. It’s been a couple of years since it’s really hit me, but I’m beginning to think that this year will be the one where it returns…