Taking the Piss
Posted: Wed 14 February, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism, Weirdness 1 Comment »I was looking the other day at the Interflora website – as you do – and couldn’t help but check out the extortionate prices for roses etc., bearing in mind the proximity of Valentine’s Day.
Anyway, I had to laugh when I saw this particular bouquet, and particularly the price of it. One hundred red roses for £500!
So yes, that’s £5 per rose.
Some people have more money than sense…
And in the meantime, Happy Valentines Day. Or something.
*Barf*
Posted: Tue 13 February, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism 2 Comments »There’s only one word for this ‘romantic’ man, who bought a £500,000 ‘waterside cottage’ for his girlfriend and then wrapped it all in paper, as a present. (Like she couldn’t figure out what it might be)
Wanker
Mind you, seeing as the story is on the news today, at least the surprise has been blown. Which makes me smile.
L-Plate
Posted: Mon 12 February, 2007 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Sweary Leave a comment »Related to the post on Saturday about that box junction in Cambridge:
Today, I saw a learner-driver, in the instructor’s car, do exactly the same thing. Just stopped, in the path of an oncoming bus.
That might be a long-term fix to the problem : either
- let all the shit instructors get killed by their pupils
or - teach the pupils properly in the first fucking place
I think that’d do it. Eventually.
Chaos
Posted: Mon 12 February, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic Leave a comment »Due to a variety of events over the weekend, today is likely to be quiet here while I sort out lots of domestic crap, and deal with solicitors, estate agents and the like.
Depending on how all that goes, I may or may not be posting here – only time will tell.
Or, of course, I could just end up having a huge rant…
Box Junction
Posted: Sat 10 February, 2007 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Thoughts, Weirdness 6 Comments »Just down the road from where I work, there’s a big four-way crossroads, which is invariably snarled up and jammed. There are actually two reasons for this :
- It’s been designed by an utter tosser
- People are tossers
Reason One is fairly standard – after all, it’s just a four-way crossroads with a nightmare of traffic lights.
Reason Two, though, is different, although it’s related to Reason One. Because the traffic lights screw things up, the planners/designers decided to make it ‘safer’, and covered the entire junction with yellow cross-hatch markings. It’s a box junction.
Box junctions aren’t difficult to deal with – well, unless you’re a BMW driver – and the simple rule is At signalled roundabouts you MUST NOT enter the box unless you can cross over it completely without stopping.. Not rocket science, is it?
But the reason this junction is a nightmare is because everyone ignores that concept completely, and instead buckets into the junction, try to turn, and then realise they can’t get out of the junction. And oooh, look – suddenly they’re blocking the next flow of traffic, which invariably includes a sodding big bus. Oops.
I have no idea how this can be fixed, and nor do I have any idea how you can get drivers to look ahead and figure out that there’s nowhere for them to go. Personally, I can’t see a problem with a car that detects the road markings, and if you stop on a box junction, it gives you a small electric shock. That’d soon stop it. Just call me Mr Pavlov…
Mind you, if I could come up with the answers to either of those things, I’d be a very wealthy man.
Chicken
Posted: Fri 9 February, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism, Travel 2 Comments »So, did I go to Brixton last night to see Massive Attack?
No, I didn’t.
I can’t deny it, I chickened out. Instead, I just ended up going home, and curling up with a laptop and a website that needed some work. Not the most productive, and definitely not as much fun as seeing Massive Attack would’ve almost certainly been.
But I gave up. I looked at the road maps, and the traffic reports, then at where I needed to go, and combined it with my usual cynical attitude towards people, and figured I couldn’t be arsed.
Mind you, looking at the roads this morning, and the fact there were three or four abandoned (i.e. had slid/skidded off the road) cars this morning on the bit I’d have been driving on at roughly 1am, I don’t think I was being too stupid to figure it was just not worth the hassle.
Plotting
Posted: Thu 8 February, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism, News Leave a comment »I don’t know if it’s just me that finds this amusing, but there’s a certain juxtaposition in the media at the moment that makes me smile.
In Box One, we have this story, about an alleged ‘plot’ in the UK to kidnap a Muslim member of the UK armed forces, and behead him, a la the Iraq kidnappings of Ken Bigley, et al.
In Box Two, we have this, where UK police are warning people to be on the alert for suspect packages being sent in the mail.
So – we have one ‘terrorism’ plot, which could’ve been lifted from pretty much any Tom Clancy type thriller, that was detected before it even (supposedly) happened, and the media says “Oh, that’s terrible, good old security forces”. We have another ‘terrorism’ scheme – this time which is already happening, and which is harming people – and the police haven’t got a bloody clue who, where, when, why, how, or whatever. Yet the media stays quiet, rather than asking “Eh? How’s that happened?”.
In short, yet again I’m being brought to the conclusion that these alleged plots are an utter, utter load of old bollocks, custom-designed to keep people scared.