VoIP

Ah, wonderful. (Note, there’s major sarcasm in that sentence)

Our resurrected boss, The Arsehole, has decreed that we must all be in constant contact in the office. (bearing in mind that the great majority of us work in the same office, so it’s easier to wander over to the desks and talk…)

So they’ve invested in a bundle of headsets so we can use Google Talk and Voice over IP (AKA ‘phone over the internet’) – no fuckin’ use whatsoever for the most part, and just makes us all look like we work in a BT call centre. Frankly, chuff that.

My aim now is to keep the headset in the box for as long as possible, and to never use it at all. How successful this will be, only time will tell.


Solving Stuff

As yet I’m still undecided about this one. I don’t know if it’s a) really, really sad, or b) no bad thing to be able to do it.

Anyway – on Wednesday, Gordon sent me a piece of PHP code he couldn’t get working, and asked if I could help. Bear in mind that the first mail I got was at half eleven at night, and Gordon got a response within about 10-15 minutes, and you’ll begin to realise just how sad I actually am on occasion…

However, the first fix didn’t work. Well, it did, but not in the way Gordon wanted. So another idea came to me, and got sent off, and that didn’t work either – but gave me some more information on what needed doing.

And lo, Fix The Third worked perfectly. So everyone’s happy.

I do find, though, that I actually enjoy fixing this kind of thing though – it’s something I’m good at, and – and this is the sad bit – get quite a sense of satisfaction out of. So, is it sad, or no bad thing?


Biobouncer.

Now here’s a scary development – BioBouncer (although it’s a bloody horrible name) Basically, it’s a facial recognition system for bars – it scans each customer’s face as they come in, and then can check it against a list of “undesirable” customers.

Using advanced facial recognition biometric technology, BioBouncer™ quickly and accurately identifies these potentially dangerous people as they walk in the door – so they don’t even have a chance to ruin someone else’s experience. Powered by a combination of patent pending performance enhancing software intricacies, BioBouncer™ captures facial images of all club patrons as they enter. These images are then matched against a database of individuals who have broken club policy in the past and who are not welcome anymore. Maybe they are known to carry a weapon, have been removed for violence, or violate the club’s illicit drug policy.

Should a match occur, an alert is sent to your security personnel via wireless network and informs them of the alert location, accompanied by a photograph of the individual. Depending on club protocol, your staff can react quickly and effectively to either remove the person or at least be aware of his location. And speed? BioBouncerâ„¢ matches against 1,000,000 faces in less than one-second.

And if you’re just an innocent punter, out for a night? Supposedly those images that aren’t needed or referenced are deleted at the end of the night.

As Bruce Schneier says in his Crypto-Gram email (which is where I got this from),

Anyone want to guess how long that “automatically flushed at the end of each night” will last? This data has enormous value. Insurance companies will want to know if someone was in a bar before a car accident. Employers will want to know if their employees were drinking before work — think airplane pilots. Private investigators will want to know who walked into a bar with whom. The police will want to know all sorts of things. Lots of people will want this data — and they’ll all be willing to pay for it.

And the data will be owned by the bars that collect it. They can choose to erase it, or they can choose to sell it.

It’s rarely the initial application that’s the problem. It’s the follow-on applications. It’s the function creep. Before you know it,
everyone will know that they are identified the moment they walk into a commercial building.


Thinking About… Navigation

Over the weekend, Pete pointed out a piece about “mystery” navigation on websites that doesn’t tell people where they’re heading. He suggested it might be rather relevant to me, seeing as d4d™ does exactly that. (And I recently discovered that the rollovers for showing where you’re going when the mouse hovers over the button doesn’t actually work in IE – I’d always kind of assumed it did, and thus hadn’t tested it. Mea culpa)

Anyway, it’s something that I started off as a project on here, something where I was interested to see how people used it. Initially it actually had the look of buttons – using nasty Javascript rollovers and images – where you only knew where you were going once the mouse was already over the button. But it was ugly, so when I went over to CSS for the main bit of the site, I just kept it with text but still on the same theory, not knowing where you were going ’til the mouse was over the button.

You see, my theory is that most people actually navigate based on position, rather than necessarily reading the button that tells them where they’re going. (And yes, I realise there’s a fallacy to this for first time visitors – just bear with me, OK?) I’ve worked on sites where the navigation was truly dynamic, and altered itself so that the “most used” buttons for user ended up at the top of the navigation tree (Man, you should’ve seen the database behind that bugger) and so the nav was different for every regular user, and also changed as you used it.

However, it turned out people hated this – about 75% of the regular users would already have their mouse pointing at the place on the screen that held the button for where they wanted to go, and when that changed, it annoyed them. It’s the same kind of theory that annoys people when supermarkets change the shelf layout, or store position for certain items. People like patterns. People stick to patterns (for the most part) and thus reinforce those patterns.

So d4d™ went the other way – if you knew where you were going, it didn’t matter what the button said – and in fact it could say nothing at all. In many ways it’s an experiment that’s worked – but it’s also one I wouldn’t put onto a commercial site I was doing. When it’s commercial, you really pretty much have to make sure you’re open to everyone, with a particular focus on the first-time visitor. If they don’t like what they see, or find it hard to get round, then they won’t become a repeat visitor.

(I’ve currently also been trying to persuade work about this one, that dynamic nav might sound cool and look cool, but long-term it pisses people off and is epically counter-productive)


Getting Old

Ye gods. Thanks to Razorhead, I’ve just been reminded of a computer I used to have – the Atari Portfolio. Apparently it was released in 1989, but I don’t think I had one ’til a couple of years after that – in fact, I was trying to figure it out by working out where I was working and what I was doing when I had it. I’m sure I’ll figure it out, but right now well, I reckon it must’ve been ’90/’91.

It’s amazing how much things have changed since then. My new phone, the XDA, has probably 10 times the memory, speed, and general ooomphiness that’s now necessary. (No, my techie side has not been activated today, hence a certain “can’t be arsed”ness to those figures).

And bloody hell, I feel old…


Continued Downage

Well, it looks like 34sp are still having intermittent problems with their service at the moment.

So, why aren’t I pissed off?

Well, primarily because as usual with 34sp, they let you know what’s going on. OK, you’ve got to know about status.34sp.com, which is on a different network entirely so even if every 34sp website is down, status is still letting you know what’s happening.

Secondly, it’s because it’s not actually their fault – this is a problem with the link from 34sp to the outside world, which is failing a lot. And they don’t yet know why. But they’ve said they’re looking into it, and for once I believe them.

And thirdly, because this is a rarity. In four years with 34sp, this is the first major unintended downtime I’ve seen. And that, for my money, is pretty good service in anyone’s book.


XDA – downsides

Having been using it for a whole week now, I’ve found a couple of small problems with the XDA. Nothing that’s going to stop me using it, just things that you notice as time goes on.

First of all, it’s not been designed with enough memory. It works fine, but because the programs you use don’t shut down properly, you end up running short of memory. If memory serves, you start out with 64Mb of RAM, which should be more than enough, but Windows Mobile eats up roughly half of that on its own, so really it could’ve done with 128Mb of RAM instead. Ah well.

Second, and I know this should’ve occurred to me – but it didn’t, OK? – it’s actually harder to send a simple quick message. On most phones I can “touchtype” a text message without even paying attention. Yeah, you have to check the spelling afterwards and so on, but in general it’s dead easy to send a quick message without even looking. On the XDA, though, you have to either slot out the keyboard, or use the stylus to tap away on the screen’s “keyboard”. It’s just not quite as quick.

I still like the system, and I’m really pleased with the phone – it’s just that they’re the slightly negative points I’ve noticed so far…

Oh, and one very cool thing you can do with the XDA is charge it through the USB port of any computer – just connect it up, and it starts charging. Now that is useful…