Downtime(ish)

The weekend just gone ended up being a proper weekend “off”, and much needed. The last few weeks (well, months) have been pretty hectic, what with one thing and another. This weekend had been kind-of empty, but that also meant I’d booked stuff in.

I should’ve taken the hint though – a couple of weeks ago I cancelled off my first plan (a restaurant visit) because I just wasn’t feeling it, wasn’t looking forward to it, and where’s the fun in it when every single reaction to it is “blah”?  So I sacked that off, and had made other plans, which then fell through a bit. No-one’s fault, just short-notice and other things already booked with the people in question.   So I’d made a third plan, a day-trip to Manchester (travelling by train, so it was still semi-sensible, by my standards) which would’ve been fun – I haven’t been back to Manchester in a good eighteen months or so.

And then on Wednesday/Thursday I got an email making me aware that Manchester was going to be full of football stuff, plus a few other events, and I realised that actually I didn’t want that – and I particularly didn’t want that super-packed train home. Not in the mood for the people and the crowds, blah blah.

So I sacked it all off, admitted defeat (not quite the right word, but it’ll do for now) and stayed home. I still did a fair amount – sorted a bundle of domestic stuff, got rid of some things to the local tip, went to the cinema to watch a rubbish and easy-watching film on the Saturday, and then went out with local friends on the Sunday evening.

Basically, it was all enough to appease my brain’s nagging work ethic, but without doing much more than the bare minimum to appease it.

It was good – but also annoying, because I don’t actually feel any better for that quiet weekend. Maybe it’s a lost hope now, but I wanted to sleep, and to feel somewhat refreshed by the end of a peaceable and quiet weekend – but I don’t. I’m still tired, still feeling a bit blah about things, and just trying to figure shit out.

It was needed, but I kind-of wish it felt like I’d had more benefit out of it…