Yet again, things round here have eased off a bit, I haven’t been updating as regularly as I could/should be doing. In fairness, that’s not just something that’s been happening here, it’s also been breaking through into other aspects of life, and I’m working my way through the whole thing.
I’ve been describing it to myself as being permanently tired, although as per the title, “Flattened” is perhaps a better description. So, probably, is “Depressed, but Functional” They’d all be fair, for sure.
Thing is, I don’t feel depressed. I just feel tired. I still get up, go to work, do all the idiot stuff I do on weekends. But in many ways it feels like I’m doing a lot of it on autopilot – because I’m tired.
It’s meant I haven’t done some stuff, and some new things (or revisited things) just haven’t happened yet, because I’m too tired, too flat to make the effort.
I don’t know quite what to make of it. I’m figuring it out, and I think (hope) I’ve turned a bit of a corner over the weekend, so in some ways it’s a case of waiting to see what develops. I know that in some ways I’ve done more new stuff this week already than I probably did in the previous three months.
I’m not going to force the issue – as I said previously, Q2 of 2018 also involves more downtime, which I’m hoping will free up some mental bandwidth, and allow me to start doing some of the stuff that’s currently sitting in my brain saying “Well? Get on with it”.
That’s how it feels at the moment, anyway. Whether the same will be true tomorrow morning, or next week, next month – only time will tell. We’ll see.