D4D

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Archive for the category “Getting Organised”

Small Wins

As part of the “generally busy” of the last few weeks, I was asked to attend a funeral/cremation for the father of a friend of mine.  As the dresscode was described as “formal” I opted for my much-loved three-piece suit that I got made in Cambridge. Turns out, that suit is exactly 12 years old (I took delivery of it at the start of April 2007)

Anyway, when I tried it on, I was really pleased to find that it still fits just fine – the most I had to do was brush the dust off it, as I haven’t worn it that much in the last few years.

So basically, I’m taking it as a small win that actually I haven’t changed size/weight/dimensions over that 12 year period.  I know I’m still overweight and blah blah blah, but it’s been utterly consistent for over a decade, which I’m pretty happy with.  I know there have been fluctuations over that time, but this current state certainly appears to be my default.

And I’m OK with that.

Slump

Things have been quiet on D4D of late. Basically, I’m in a bit of a slump, and at the moment I’m not quite sure how to get out of it.

There’s a lot of reasons behind it, but mainly it’s down to an overbearing feeling of stagnation, or being a bit bogged down. I’m used to having change in my life, and at the moment it’s not really there. Some of that is inertia, some of it is still the final stages from the bankruptcy process and some of it is the current state of things. But it all adds up to an overall sludge – and while I know I want things to change, I also don’t quite know what I want to do next, or where I want to be.

Domestically, I’ve been in this house for seven years. That’s by far the longest I’ve been in any one place since I left the family home. I was looking at moving last year when the tenancy came up, but that was only just after the bankruptcy finished, and I didn’t want to push things while it was still showing up on credit checks and the like.  So I’m thinking about it for this year – but there’s also nowhere that’s dragging me, nowhere that I’ve been and thought “OK, this is where I want/need to be”, and it’s all a bit up in the air. There’s still time, though.

Workwise, I’ve been working on the same project for more than three years. (Probably closer to 4, all told)  And while we’ve got a lot done, there still feels like no end in sight (things keep on being added in to it, or stuff is more complex than initially expected) which doesn’t help. I like contracting in general for exactly this – that each contract is finite – even though they can (and usually do) get extended, they still have an end date where I can say “Nope, I’m done”. This one is open-ended, and it’s feeling more and more like a proper job and blah blah.

Outside of those two things, there’s so much doubt about what’s going on in the UK – with Brexit being delayed even further, it’s left everything in limbo again, of not knowing what’ll happen with it, and what’ll happen with jobs, economy and so on if and when it happens. I can’t deny, that all contributes to the current sense of stagnation.

I’m not depressed – well, no more than usual – and I’m still getting out and getting other stuff done. It’s just that I’ve not got the time or energy for anything extra. I wish I did, but I don’t.

I’m going to keep on working on it, though.  I know I need a couple of new projects to be getting on with – but I also need to find the motivation to get it going. That’s where the stagnation is really hurting – I know I need and want to change, but right now the drive to change things is also being blocked.

I’ll figure it out, I know – I always do, and always have done.  And hopefully it won’t take too much longer to turn the corner.

The Joy of Tech

Yesterday, while doing a quick shop on the way to work, I suddenly realised I’d left my wallet at home. Bugger.

I was just about prepared to take everything back to its shelves/locations, when it occurred to me that actually I was still OK – I had my phone with me still. That meant I’d got the ability to make a contactless payment – and because I’d also added the details of my Monzo card/account to the phone, it meant I had everything I needed.

It’s pretty amazing, the way these things have now become so much more mainstream than they were ten years ago, or even five.  Since I got the Monzo card eighteen months ago (it’s the only one I have that also connects into my ApplePay account on the phone) I’ve stopped carrying cash except for specific occasions – for example, the car wash I use still only takes cash.

I still prefer to carry physical cards (hence usually having a wallet) but it was still interesting to realise that forgetting it is no longer the “Oh shit!” moment it used to be. (So long as I remember my phone, and that I can use it, anyway)

Ain’t progress grand?

Poorly Sick

It’s that time of year again, where I pick up a cold/flu bug and feel like crap.  I think it’s just a cold, although last night I was shivering in bed while also being roastingly hot, so who the hell knows.

Of course, it’s also in a week where I’m stupidly busy and doing a bundle of driving. So that’ll be fun.

Anyway, we’ll see how it goes, and hopefully I’ll feel better before long.

In the meantime, bleurgh.

Ticket Admin

Over the weekend, I spent a bit of time organising myself. Primarily this involved taking all the tickets I currently have on my noticeboard for forthcoming events, and making sure all the dates for them were entered in my phone, so I don’t double-book myself.

The trigger for this was that there was one particular day where I very nearly ended up not just double-booked, but triple-booked.  It’s already double-booked, depending on what I decide to do and how some things progress between now and September, but triple-booking would’ve been really silly.  Fortunately that latest event is occurring on two consecutive evenings, so I was able to make it into a busy weekend rather than a “for fuck’s sake” weekend.

But it made me realise that there were other things that I hadn’t yet listed in the diary, which was always going to end up biting me at some point.

Now though it’s all good, I’ve got everything diarised – and yes,  as it turned out I’d forgotten a couple of booked things (thankfully with no clashes, although there’s one that’s going to make life a little bit interesting along the way)  But all sorted for now, and I feel pretty good about that fact.

Subconscious

Recently, I came across a really odd thing.

For the last few months, I’ve been experiencing problems with my car at night, with the lights suddenly failing and me driving in absolute darkness.

One night this week I had a drive home where it felt like the same thing had happened again – cars pulling out right in front of me as if they hadn’t seen me, that kind of thing. It happened on enough occasions in a short time that I ended up checking whether my lights were working, thinking “Fuck sake, not again

And that’s when I realised.

I haven’t been experiencing actual problems with the car. I’ve had dreams that I’ve been experiencing problems – because there’s no way on Earth that I would have not got a problem like that sorted immediately. If I’d had an electrical/lighting failure like that, I’d have taken it to the garage the following morning. But I haven’t – I’ve never even called the garage to make an appointment.

So while my conscious brain has been thinking that there’ve been problems with the car and that I really should get things checked/sorted, my subconscious has been sticking its oar in and stopping that from happening. Somewhere along the line it’s known that these problems have been dreams, and has prevented my conscious from actually calling the garage and getting those things sorted.

All the way through I’d have sworn blind that these problems were happening. And it’s only been when I consciously worried that the same problem had occurred again that I realised the previous occurrences hadn’t actually happened.

And that, with no shadow of a doubt, is really bloody weird.

Already Scheduled

Because I’m still a lunatic (despite clearing some projects off the list and so on) I’ve also just been looking at what I’ve already got scheduled for this year – and as usual, some of it is daft.

There’s one week in February that’s looking particularly silly, as it already includes

And that is in just one week. *sigh*

Apart from that, most things are a bit more spaced out – but I’ve still got things in the list now until mid-November, what with plays, concerts, food festivals, and a walking marathon.

There’s just no hope for me, really. Daft to the core.

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