Comedy Moment
Posted: Fri 26 January, 2007 Filed under: Charm School, Cynicism 2 Comments »Lunchtime yesterday, I saw one of the more amusing things of recent times.
Two cyclists, riding abreast so they could talk to each other, and not paying any attention to what was going on.
The innermost of the two, facing his mate to talk to him, rode slam into the back of a parked car. The car was parked perfectly legitimately, with no problem. It’s just that the cyclist didn’t see it.
He was fine. His bike, on the other hand, looked rather bent.
Sympathy was not forthcoming, from anyone who saw it.
Handwritten
Posted: Wed 24 January, 2007 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »In my opinion, some people just deserve to be ripped off.
Picture the scene – two cashpoint machines (ATMs to the Americans) side by side, in the wall of a bank. On one, a handwritten notice saying “This machine is out of order. Please use the other one.“. And the other machine has a queue of about six people using it, complaining that this one’s a bit dodgy too.
Me? Maybe I’m paranoid. But there’s no fucking way on earth, even if it were the only cashpoint in town, that I would use that machine. And it’s for the following reasons.
- It’s outside a bank, thus making people feel psychologically more secure. (“Oh, no-one would mess with this machine, it’s right outside the bank”)
- The notice is hand-written, you pillocks. Surely the bank would have either
- some pre-prepared properly printed notices
or - just turned the damn thing off, and let it display the ‘out of order’ notice
- some pre-prepared properly printed notices
- The second machine is obviously slow, as there’s a queue
- People are audibly complaining that the second machine isn’t giving out money either
To me that’s a whole list of reasons that would generally add up to “this machine has been tampered with, and is currently recording your card details, and repeated attempts to type in your PIN” and as a result I just wouldn’t use it.
And let’s bear in mind, I’m talking about Cambridge. It’s not like there aren’t (quick mental tally) at least six other cash points within three minutes walk.
Like I said, some people just deserve to lose their money.
Smarties
Posted: Wed 24 January, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »Many moons ago, I wrote about Nestlé ‘rebranding’ Smarties, changing the classic tube and plastic flip-off cap. Yesterday, for the first time in ages, I had a real craving for Smarties (no idea why, I just go with these things sometimes) And yes, the rebranding’s been done.
And somehow it’s just not the same. The cardboard tab just doesn’t have the same poppability (if there is such a word) as that old plastic cap. Even the colours have changed, and while I don’t have an objection to removing artificial colours- in fact I think it’s a good thing – I would perhaps rethink the brown ones, which now look (to be blunt) exactly like shit.
But when you get inside, well, Smarties® are still Smarties®. So it could be worse.
Green Olympiad
Posted: Tue 23 January, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »So the 2012 Olympics are going to be the greenest ever, are they? I don’t think so.
You see, when people start talking about “ever”, they’re wrong. After all, the original Olympic games were held in a stadium that wasn’t purpose built for them, thus not using shitloads of non-green cement, steel, concrete, and the like. The athletes didn’t travel in planes, buses, coaches and cars – they either came on foot, or on horseback.
The original games didn’t have a new set of stadia built every four years in some place or other, along with all the radical changes to infrastructure and environment. And they didn’t have millions of people watching worldwide on TV, thus also contributing to CO2 emissions etc. etc.
So, the greenest ever? I don’t think so, not at all.
Paperwork
Posted: Thu 18 January, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Getting Organised, House Purchase Leave a comment »So, tonight we’re going to be meeting back up with the IFA, so we can get the finalised mortgage application under way. And we’re going to be taking one hell of a lot of paperwork with us. This includes :
- Proof of ID (Passport)
- Proof of Address (Driving Licence – both parts)
- Property Address
- Solicitor’s Details/Address
- Estate Agents Details/Address
- 3 months of payslips, plus last P60
- Bank Details (for both of us)
We’ve already got the Agreement in Principle (AIP), so it shouldn’t be too much hassle to get the main thing. However, I’m still not convinced – after all, there’s a lot of paperwork to go through, and I still think they’re going to shit all over us for me being a contractor, regardless of everything they’ve said leading up to this point.
In addition, we’ve sorted out to meet an architect at the new place a week on Friday, so we can discuss the plans we’ve got, and see what’s going on. That should be quite interesting – I’ve spoken to three or four now, and the one we’ve gone with (initially) appears to be quite cool, and not too up himself. Which, in my opinion, is always a good starting place.
But basically there’s going to be one hell of a lot of paperwork and bureaucracy over the next couple of weeks, and I’m not looking forward to any of it.
Still, at least I’ve got Inland Revenue out of my hair.
Oops – Update
Posted: Wed 17 January, 2007 Filed under: Cynicism 1 Comment »Following on from yesterdays “Oops” post, I got a call from the estate agents today.
Things are not looking good – the house has been taken off the market.
Warning Signs 2
Posted: Thu 11 January, 2007 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Weirdness Leave a comment »On the way in to work this morning, I noticed another great sign at Ely station…
Warning : This heater gets hot.
Definitely one to file under “No Shit, Sherlock”