Organised for Festering
Posted: Sun 6 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Festering Season, Getting Organised Leave a comment »
Today, I get to post off the menu choices for the entire family for Christmas Day.
Yes I know, the Scrooge of the family somehow gets to do the organisation of Christmas Day. Bizarre, but true. And it’s been this way now for three damn years.
In some ways I don’t mind, to be honest. It’s epically demoralising getting the sodding menus in August/September, and then dealing with who’s coming, who’s not, what’s going on, where we’ll be going, and getting back everyone’s menu choices. It also appeases the control-freak side of my nature, because it means I’ve got it sorted, I know what’s going on, and I know it’s all done.
This year it involves both Herself’s family and mine, which is a new one. My lot are coming up and staying with us over the Festering Season. Fortunately my father and brother are pretty much as Scrooge-esque as me, which’ll help. But still, it’s going to be fairly fraught. (More cynical souls than I would say that the Festering Season was always thus)
For now though, at least it’s all organised. I can go back to being a grumpy old Christmas-loathing bastard – not that that’s a change : just because I’ve organised the sodding day doesn’t mean I don’t still fucking hate it.
Next year, someone else can do it.
December
Posted: Wed 2 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Festering Season, People, Photography 1 Comment »It seems like loads of people around us spent last weekend putting up all their fucking manky house decorations for the Festering Season. some of them really do have to be seen to be believed.
In particular, two houses on my regular commute have gone hysterically over the top. I’m going to have to stop off some time this week on the way home and see what I can do about getting a couple of photos.
The TV’s full of shitty ads about perfume, CDs, chocolates, and fucking scumshit bastard Iceland.
And to top it off I’ve just had a spam email of “Festive Offers from Tesco Credit Card”. Fuck off, you dirtbags.
Well hellooooo, December.
Festering Generosity
Posted: Wed 25 November, 2009 Filed under: Customer Services, Festering Season, Work-related 3 Comments »Details of the work Christmas Party are now coming out. I’m still not going, but even I have to admit that the directors here are being remarkably generous…
Consider these points :
- The party has been booked at the (apparently good) restaurant at one of the local NT Properties.
- There’s also a disco/dance thing after the meal
- The company has booked the entire place
- Everyone who’s going will be collected by taxi from home, taken to the do, and taxis have been booked to take them home again. That’s paid for.
- The only thing that people attending the do will have to pay for is their own drinks from the bar. All the food and wine at the table is being paid for by the directors.
- People going to the party can leave work in mid-afternoon to go and get ready. They’re also not expected to come in to work the following day ’til mid-morning.
I reckon that’s pretty generous, and I’m not even going!
Evil Santa
Posted: Sun 15 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Festering Season, People, Weirdness Leave a comment »Now this is my kind of way to scare kids in a Christmas Parade…
Santa cart with deer heads instead of reindeer...
From There, I fixed it
Festerous
Posted: Fri 13 November, 2009 Filed under: Festering Season, Work-related Leave a comment »In a bit of deja vu from roughly this time last year, my new workplace is organising a big Christmas Party, and I’m doing my best to avoid it.
Thankfully I’ve got a couple of decent non-Scrooge reasons for not going (no partners, an hour’s drive afterwards, not actually wanting to be sober amidst a bunch of pissed bastards) as well as the fact that I simply don’t want to go, and have no interest whatsoever in going.
This year I’m not quite in the position of “I don’t like you when I work with you, why the fuck would I want to socialise with you outside work hours” (yet) which is somewhat of a novelty in itself. But just because I don’t (yet) want to maim them horribly doesn’t mean I want to socialise with them on a Festering Season do either.
So I’m making my excuses and not bothering to go. Suits me fine.
Fuck You, Tesco
Posted: Thu 8 October, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season Leave a comment »In an early front-runner for “Smuggest advert of the Festering Season”, the fuckstick bastards at Tesco have dropped a blinder. Not just smug and insanely early, but as sexist and shit as it’s possible to be.
A rough version of the text (it’s engraved in my brain having seen the cocking advert once) goes as follows…
Toys.
Come December 25th there’ll be Action Man for boys and Barbie for girls.
And yes, we know it’s only October. But Christmas comes quickly round here.
Smug overbearing materialistic shit-flogging sexist fuckbag cunts. Fuck off with your shite, you weaselly tossbags.
iEverything
Posted: Thu 8 October, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season 2 Comments »The latest marketing ‘trend’ seems to be to emulate Apple by branding any given product with an “i” at the start, in the theme of iPod, iPhone, iDontCare etc. etc.
The one that boggles my brain more than usual in the current adverts is the Babyliss iTrim. It’s a fucking razor. Nothing iconic, nothing trendy. A fucking electric razor. That’s it.
Of course, we’re now in the advertising run-up to the Festering Season, so it’s all go for adverts about shit like this, so I’m sure it’s not going to be the last product this year with an i at the start of the name.
It’s still bullshit though. Sorry, iBullshit.