Festerous Advertising
Posted: Thu 2 November, 2023 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season Leave a comment »We’ve entered November, and it seems like all the advertisers have gone “Fucking hell, Christmas is coming!“, so it’s all turned into a retail frenzy of fuckery. They’ve already thawed out Mariah Carey and Michael Bublé (Or “Mickey Bubbles” as I tend to call him) in ads, as well as a couple of other “celebrity-laden” ones where I know the faces and couldn’t give two shits about any of their names.
So by the time we’re on November 2nd I’m already sick of the entire bloody thing.
Bah Humbug indeed.
Insurance Renewal Fuckery
Posted: Thu 14 September, 2023 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Domestic, Driving, Finances, Legal Leave a comment »This being the time I bought the current car, it’s also time for that annual festival of fuckery – Insurance Renewal.
I knew that this year was likely to be a pain in the arse – there’s been plenty of coverage about how insurance premiums have gone up massively as part of “the cost of living” (which in the case of insurance etc. seems to me to be just rabid profiteering – I don’t see how inflation and food costs have a knock-on effect to the car insurance industry!) so I was expecting it to be stupid. I just wasn’t expecting quite how stupid.
So – I got my renewal letter through from my current insurers, and they’d managed to double my insurance. For no changes – the address change happened before last renewal and the car hasn’t changed (other than in losing value for having been driven another 25,000 miles) But no, somehow they feel they can justify doubling the price.
Well, frankly they can fuck off.
So off I went to that site with the meerkats (because it annoys me less than the one with the opera ‘singer’, or the one with the weirdly confusing existential ads that make no sense) and looked at what was available.
As it turns out, I got a deal with a different insurer for all the things I wanted, and paying the same as I have been this year. Which I reckon is a total win, all told. So far it’s been painless – I’ve cancelled the renewal on the current one (while laughing on the phone at them, because doubling the quote is just fucking ridiculous) and the new one is in place to start in early October.
But it does make me wonder about what the business model is for so many of these insurance places. I have to assume that there’s a huge number of people who just blindly accept the renewal cost without looking elsewhere (and if that’s the case then they bloody well deserve to be ripped off, in my opinion) but that’s pretty mind-boggling, given the prevalence of these comparison sites and so on now.
Subscriptions and Stupidity
Posted: Mon 26 June, 2023 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Finances, I Don't Understand, People, Stupidity 3 Comments »Interesting to see that subscription things are now the latest target in the Government’s “How can we protect stupid people from being stupid?” process.
Now OK, some of the tactics used by subscription-model companies can be a pain – particularly the “sign up for a free trial and we’ll charge you after that” thing – but also (as that summary hints) they bloody well tell you what they’re going to do! I assume that people just get as far as “sign up for a free trial” and then stop reading/comprehending, but it really isn’t rocket science.
If you’re wanting to try it, then sign up for the free trial. But at the same time put a reminder in your phone for 25-ish days away that says “Cancel [x]”. Then when the phone says “Cancel [x]”, do so. Voila, no charge.
Yes, the model absolutely relies on people being stupid and not bothering to cancel the subscription. Similarly, most gym memberships expect/hope that the majority of people will sign up for the year and only use the place for two or three months. (although that one is a contract, so they can’t easily get out of it) But a subscription model paid month-to-month is an easy one to cancel – assuming even a vague level of competence, of course. The first time the payment comes out, if you don’t want it, it’s easy to go “Oh, fuck it. Forgot that – let’s cancel that now so I don’t have to pay again next month!” and just log in and get it cancelled.
Now OK, I accept that I’m probably not “normal” on this, but I keep a close eye on my money – I know when payments come out, I know what I’m expecting to pay, and I check my bank account every couple of days, minimum. I know where I stand on all of it on any given day. So it absolutely gobsmacks me to see things like this (from the story linked above) :
John, for example, told the BBC he had signed up to Amazon Prime video for a 30-day free period and forgot to cancel it when he had to start paying for it.
“I’m just gutted I spent £6.99 a month for 18 months for no reason”.
Now, I’d like to see Amazon’s side of that story, and see whether “John” actually watched Amazon video in that time, and/or whether he got Amazon deliveries in that time. It’s worth noting that Amazon is actually an oddity in this case, in that you pay for Prime delivery and get the video stuff as well – so if he’s paid for Prime to get things delivered next-day and made use of that then it’s not been a waste of money in the first place!
As for cancelling, John comes up with this gem…
“It was such a stressful ordeal and left me with a lot of anxiety. It ridiculous, these companies only care about the money not the person”.
I mean…. A) Welcome to Capitalism. And B) it’s a simple process. Yes, they’ll say “Are you sure? Here’s what you’ll lose out on” and so on, because they do want to keep your custom/money. Of course they do. But it’s not a challenging thing to just say “Yep, cancel it”. Certainly most (if not all) of the online companies make it easy – a couple of clicks and it’s done. Even the dating sites don’t make a big thing of the people leaving – they know they’ll have plenty of other people signing up or staying on.
All told, if someone says they’re short of money (“Cost of living crisis” etc. etc.) and yet still ‘not knowing’ that they’re paying out for subscriptions, then they’re not actually that short of money. (Or are congenitally and irredeemably stupid)
On the other hand, I can absolutely see that it would be good/ethical for a subscription service to send a check-up message if the person using it hasn’t accessed that service at all in (for example) six months, and have them opt back in (or at least say “Yes, I want to keep going with this”) at that point. And if they don’t respond, then their account gets deactivated. Among other things, that would be useful in scenarios where the person has died or become incapacitated, and reduces the whole nightmare of trying to unsubscribe someone from something where you don’t even know their username/password.
Coming To A Close
Posted: Sun 18 December, 2022 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Media, News, Thoughts Leave a comment »Thankfully, we’ve come to the end of a number of things this weekend, and I couldn’t be happier.
- The Kickyball World Cup has finally fucked off. I don’t care a jot about the entire thing, and I’m just glad that we won’t have to hear about it all the sodding time.
- Strictly Come Dancing has finally fucked off. I don’t care a jot about the entire thing, and I’m just glad that we won’t have to hear about it all the time.
- The Festering Season has nearly fucked off. By now you can guess the rest of my sentiment on that score.
This time next week we’ll be done with the Festering Season too, and some form of sanity will return for a few months.
Oh, and also it’s going to be a bit warmer in the coming week. Which is nice.
Levels of Stupid
Posted: Tue 25 February, 2020 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, I Don't Understand, People, Stupidity, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »At the moment, I get a *lot* of spam about property investment – probably an average of five to ten a day. I don’t know why it’s suddenly this subject, but it’s definitely noticeable.
Student flats in Hull, Hotel rooms in Leicester, Apartments in Liverpool and Manchester, and even some overseas stuff. I don’t pay attention to it, but it does make me think.
Basically, what kind of idiot (or lunatic) is going to decide to invest in a property, based on receiving a spam/junk email? It’s a huge amount of money, however you look at it.
I mean, obviously people do fall for this crap – the spammers/scammers wouldn’t bother sending it out if they didn’t – but I can’t deny, I figure that the people who do so pretty much deserve everything they get.
Festerous
Posted: Wed 25 December, 2019 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic 1 Comment »
Hurrah, the Festering Season is now over for another year nine months or so.
In fairness, I haven’t been quite as virulently anti it a usual. Well, that’s not true – I have been, I just haven’t been so *volubly* anti it.
It’s still gone on way too long, with the perfume adverts starting back in mid-September, and all the bullshit about Christmas ads and so on since mid-November.
But this time round it just hasn’t felt like it’s even worth complaining about, it’s just been one of those things.
Ah well, fun and games.
Environmental
Posted: Sun 20 October, 2019 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Green, Thoughts, Travel 3 Comments »On my post about mileage and so on, BW commented “No environmental conscience chez toi, then, eh? 😉” And I can’t deny, that annoyed me a fair bit.
So…
-
- That weekend, I hired a car that was supposed to have a better Eco-profile than my current car. Sadly, that turned out to not be the case – it got a lot less MpG than mine, and generally wasn’t very good. But the intentions were there, at least. Even though I should’ve stuck to my usual car.
- Where possible – in this case, the run to and from Oxford – I carried friends, rather than everyone driving individually
- Taking public transport was simply not a realistic option, for a range of reasons, including
- I’d still have to drive to my nearest station, and (as I understand it) shorter journeys like that are the worst environmentally, as most of the nastys happen on start-up/warm-up, rather than on longer runs
- The runs to Oxford and Chichester would both have been over three hours each way, and cost more than the fuel for the entire weekend
- The journey to Kent wouldn’t have been possible at all
- Also, knowing the mileage etc., I make use of a carbon offset programme – it’s not perfect, but (I hope) it helps
- The Big Cat Experience in Kent use most of the money from the experience days and so on to go towards ecological and animal protection/preservation projects overseas.
Outside of those things, there’s also the following other little bits
- I’m still using a car that’s now ten years old (and passes the MoT emissions test with flying colours) rather than using up a load of resources with a new vehicle
- My domestic waste/rubbish is absolutely minimal – indeed, if I didn’t have cats, I’d be easily able to get away with one domestic waste collection per month – and I recycle far more than most people.
- I rarely fly anywhere – the last time was two years ago
- Most of my electric/electronic devices are recharged via a battery bank that charges off a solar panel, rather than via the mains.
There’s probably other stuff as well, but anyway, it’s a pretty good start.
I fully accept that my environmental profile isn’t perfect – my main downsides are electricity and driving. And I balance as much of that as possible. However, I’m also pretty sure that it’s a lot better than that of most people.
Even more importantly, no matter what I do to improve my profile, it’s utterly irrelevant in comparison to other environmental things. For example, if the new phase of advertising on video screens (particularly the stand-alone street-furniture versions) were deactivated/turned off overnight it would save more in a week than I could contribute in a lifetime.
So – do I have an environmental conscience? I’ll let you decide – although I think the answer is generally yes.
Reinsuring
Posted: Wed 25 September, 2019 Filed under: Advertising, Brands, Change, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Finances, I Don't Understand, Insurance, People, Weirdness Leave a comment »The world of Car Insurance is very, very strange. I truly don’t understand how it all works.
My car insurance is due for renewal in October, so I recently received the renewal gubbins from my current insurer. They’ve put my insurance up by £60 for the year. Bear in mind, I’ve not even spoken to them all year, let alone made a claim, and I’ve now got another year’s no claims discount as well. And yet it’s gone up.
So I shopped around, doing the usual comparison website thing (Meerkats rather than opera singers) and got one that’s actually £120 cheaper than what I was being offered by the current insurer – and with slightly better cover.
Brilliant, I’ll sign up and do that. Job done. And this is where it all gets weird(er)
My new insurer is actually one I used a couple of years ago. So when I log in to their ‘self-service portal’ to see my new policy, all I can see is the details of the old one. Fuck sake. (It looks like the policy is actually tied to a combination of my username and password – so I can change password, and now view the new details instead – but I didn’t know that at the time)
So first things first, I call my current insurer to tell them I won’t be renewing with them. It’s the usual automatic phone gubbins, and gives the name of the insurance provider – let’s call them ABC Insurers, for the sake of argument. I give the correct information, go through, tell them I won’t be renewing, explain why, and it’s as easy as that.
Then I call the new insurers. Who are also using ABC Insurers. So I go through the correct information for the new insurance, get things sorted, get the documents emailed to me, and it’s as easy as that.
But it’s weird – I’ve used two different companies (well, two different front-ends) and given them the same information (obviously) but one faction is offering me a significantly better deal than both the one I’m on, and the renewal quote from the one I’m on. But they’re both the same company underneath!
How the fuck does that make sense? Offering the same person two completely different prices (and slightly different packages/benefits) Why not allow my current insurer to offer the same price as my new one? It’s all just a bit bizarre.
Wallets
Posted: Sun 14 July, 2019 Filed under: Advertising, Customer Services, Domestic, Thoughts 1 Comment »Back in October, based on a recommendation (and a liking of the style) I bought a new wallet from Rains. Not the cheapest of things, but also not world-shatteringly expensive, I liked the (slightly weird) sort-of-rubberised material it’s made from, and that it wasn’t leather.
Over the last three or four years I’ve swapped wallets a few times, trying out new things and designs, most of which haven’t really worked out for how I do things.So far though, the Rains one has suited me pretty well.
However, last week I realised that the rubber holding strap was breaking – along the line of the cut-in company name, which wasn’t really a surprise. But for a not-cheap wallet, I would still have expected it to last better than that. So I emailed Rains to say about this problem, and attached a photo of the problem. I could’ve lived with it – once it finally snaps I could cut the strap off completely, and it wouldn’t affect the actual functionality at all – but still, might as well let them know.
Within the day they’d come back to me, offering a replacement or refund – and either way, to not worry about returning the faulty one. I chose a replacement, which was sent out the same day, and arrived (from the Netherlands) a couple of days later.
I’ve again offered to return the faulty one (I figure they could at least see what’d gone wrong – but maybe it’s more of a common thing, I don’t know) but they’ve insisted on me keeping that as well, so fair enough.
All told though, I’ve been really impressed with Rains and how they’ve done things. There’ve been no questions or quibbles at all, just a simple smooth process that really stands out from most places. It shouldn’t stand out just for that (ideally this should be just how things are done) but it definitely does.
Scheduled
Posted: Wed 5 June, 2019 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, D4D™, Domestic, Food, I Don't Understand, People, Solo Dining, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »At the moment, there’s an advert on TV for Just Eat, and it freaks me out a little bit.
There’s one part of it where they talk about people “ordering their usual”, and doing so at a specific time – implying that it’s the same thing every week. And that just weirds me out, that there are people out there who do the same thing every week, who eat the same meals with little to no variety.
At the same time though, it’s odd in other ways. I’m just as bad at being uninspired when it comes to meals and so on – but that’s when I’m just cooking for myself. If I’m paying for it (i.e. a takeaway, a restaurant meal or whatever) then I’m going to go for random stuff that I fancy eating.
So I think it’s the combination – that there are people who are paying for their meal and still only having the same thing at the same time – rather than *just* that it’s the same thing every time.
Anyway, it weirds me out – even though in some ways I’m also a massive hypocrite about it, as I’m semi-guilty of the same thing, but only in the privacy of my own home…
Incompetents (Part One)
Posted: Mon 25 March, 2019 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Marketing, Thoughts Leave a comment »There’ve been a couple of times in the last week where I’ve been surprised by how little some people understand things – which is kind of surprising, considering what low expectations I have of people in general.
The first of these surprises was with Tom Watson (MP) blithering on about how McDonalds should cancel their Monopoly promotion this year. In and of itself, it’s not a bad idea – I’m no fan of McDonalds, and their Monopoly thing definitely encourages people to buy/eat more than they usually would.
However, Watson’s announcement was made the day before the promotion launched. By that time all the necessary materials have been prepared, printed, distributed, all the ads have been made and booked, and it would be almost impossible to cancel the promotion. And there seemed to be no real understanding of that.
If the press release had been a couple of weeks later, and was aimed at getting McDonalds to stop using it after the current promotion then that would’ve made more sense. (Not a lot more sense admittedly, since even a rudimentary Wikipedia search will tell you it’s been an annual promotion since 1987, but there’s always a chance that they might do something else, if a new idea could come up that would work equally well as a promotional tool)
All told, it just showed (in my opinion) that it was all just a “This is bad, OK?” press-release, with no real thought or understanding of the business (and marketing) processes underneath it.
Upgraded
Posted: Mon 3 December, 2018 Filed under: Advertising, BT, Customer Services, Domestic, Geeky, Milton Keynes, Technology, Utilities 4 Comments »Last week, I upgraded my internet connection to an “Ultrafast” one – known by BT / Openreach as G.Fast. Apparently they’re slowing down the roll-out of this in favour of full FTTP (Fibre To The Premises) roll-out, but for now it’s the best speed I can get.
G.Fast offers a guaranteed 100Mbps download – and I’ll get compensation if it dips below that – which is amusingly ridiculous. When I moved here six-and-a-bit years ago, I was only just able to get ADSL and a 2Mbps connection. It was painfully slow, although it did enough for the necessary at the time. When FTTC (Fibre To The Cabinet) came here, I got it, and went from 2Mbps to 75 overnight. At that point I could do streaming TV and so on with no problem at all. And now I’ve doubled even that. Truly insane.
I wasn’t actually aware that this tech had been installed in my area, but BT sent me a promotional mail about it at the start of November, and I’d dragged my feet on it a bit. But then I got a “Black Friday” promotional letter about it as well, where I could also get it installed for free, for an extra £1 a month on what I pay already. Well OK then.
(As an aside, it’s the only “Black Friday” deal I bothered with at all – and only because it saved me money on a product I was actually interested in)
The engineer came round on Friday to do the installation – it needs some changes at the cabinet, and as it’s still new stuff, they’re doing it with engineers rather than self-install. This had a happy side-effect, in that he also appears to have finally fixed the line problem that’s been plaguing me for more years than I care to mention. (And has cost me the price of an engineer visit on one visit out of the five, because they worded the ‘fix’ badly, but that’s a dead issue now)
Ever since I moved in, the line has been dodgy on occasion, and it’s just got worse over time. The broadband connection has been fine in general – unless I have to make or receive a phone call. At that point the crackles on the line were enough to knock out the broadband connection. BT insisted this wasn’t possible, and that all the options I suggested were Just Wrong. (Because obviously I don’t work for them, so what could I possibly know?) In that time, I’ve had five master sockets, and swapped from ADSL to FTTC for broadband, so I knew it was nothing in the house. It was always either going to be a fault in the line (“Oh no, sir, that’s not possible, more people would be complaining if that were the case”) or in the cabinet itself (also apparently “impossible”)
Anyway, this time the engineer could hear the problem, and tested to find where the problem was. Surprise surprise, it was in the cabinet. So while he was redoing connections for my new broadband, he had a look round the cab, and the terminators on my line (I dunno) in the cab were “worryingly loose, I could just pull them off, didn’t even need pliers“. When he came back to the house, oooh look, what a surprise, no crackle on the line.
So, I’m now working with a 150Mbps download connection, and a lovely crackle-free phone line. All told, bit of a win.
Shakespeare Park
Posted: Mon 19 November, 2018 Filed under: Advertising, Creativity, Domestic, Milton Keynes, Thoughts Leave a comment »Last week, I noticed signs around Milton Keynes pointing to a new development of homes, called Shakespeare Park.
I’d really hoped that they would make a big thing of puns/content based on Shakespeare stuff, but no, it’s all very dull.
OK, they’ve named most of the house types after Shakespearean characters – but still, there’s so much more they could’ve done
“Shakespeare Park – ”
- it’s no ordinary hamlet
- Your home, as you like it
- Your midsummer night’s dream
And that’s just off the top of my head. I could probably come up with a bundle more.
I just think it’s a bit sad that Taylor Wimpey don’t seem to have tried…
Typos
Posted: Thu 27 September, 2018 Filed under: Advertising, Geeky, Marketing, Sweary, Thoughts Leave a comment »Note 1 : Owing to Muphry’s Law , there will likely be at least one typo in this post.
Note 2 : It may also induce eye-crossing rage/despair in some.
Anyway – this week I’ve had two emails containing images that include typos (or just piss off my pedantry) The first came from Cotton Traders.

Seriously, how the hell does that make it through umpteen proof-readers, editors, and marketing twerds? #rage
The second was a promo for a novel, and I’ve trimmed it down to just the bit that grated on me.

This one is a bit more pedantic – but it grinds my gears anyway. “A prickly woman” is fine. But crossing out the “Prickly” makes it “A Independent Woman” – which isn’t right. Find another word for “prickly” (which they’ve chosen because the title of the book is “The Cactus”) that starts with a vowel, or a synonym for independent that starts with a consonant. Then it works. And wouldn’t annoy pedants.
Anyway, now I’ve shared my irritation. You’re welcome.
Sugar Tax
Posted: Mon 9 April, 2018 Filed under: Advertising, Change, Cynicism, Diet Coke, Domestic, Food, Health, Marketing, Politics, Thoughts 2 Comments »On Friday, the UK introduced a “Sugar Tax” on sweet drinks, purportedly to help reduce childhood obesity. Will it work? Personally, I doubt it.
There’s a few reasons – first and foremost, that a lot of manufacturers have already chosen to reduce the sugar levels in their drinks to put them into lower rates for the sugar tax.
Connected to that, diet and zero-calorie versions of most of those drinks have been available for years. If people haven’t chosen to swap by now, will paying 10p extra make them change? Probably not. There’s not even a really visible price difference – at least two of the shop chains I use regularly have upped the price on all the drinks, not just the sugary ones, which also defeats the object. If there were a visible difference ( “I can buy 500ml of the sugary one for £1.50, or the diet one for £1.35, so I’ll save money”) then it might work, but without that, I don’t see that there’s a real driver to force the change.
Alongside that, I *personally* have a problem with government telling me how to be healthy, and attempting to enforce that. I have the same issue when it comes to smoking, the way government encourages people to stop smoking, while also getting massive amounts of income from the tax and duty on cigarettes. (This also applies for alcohol, telling people to drink less while getting the income from the tax and duty, and so on and so on)
I also suspect that there’s a lot more damage done by the ‘invisibly’ sweet drinks – the bizarre creamy milky super-sweet concoctions from Starbucks, Caffe Nero, Costa et al – which now seem to be far more prevalent than sweet fizzy drinks. I suspect there’s a lot more of the obesity blame that can be laid on the coffee culture now than can be laid at the soft-drinks industry. I’m not even sure that the coffee chains are being hit by the sugar tax – I haven’t seen any mention of it being on anything except the soft-drinks industry.
It’ll be interesting to see the results – although of course the government will always claim it to have been a massive success, even when it’s a clusterfuck of monumental proportions – but I really don’t expect to see it have any positive effects on reducing obesity, whether in children or adults.
A Different Value of New
Posted: Wed 28 March, 2018 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Sweary, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Out of interest, how the hell do the BBC get to promote a show as “Brand New!” when it’s been exhumed from the 80s and 90s (and potentially the 2000s, too)
Yes, I’m referring to the “Brand New… Generation Game“.
What. The. Absolute. Fuck?
Utterly Unsurprised
Posted: Wed 21 March, 2018 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Marketing, People, Stupidity, Thoughts 1 Comment »At the moment the media is full of the story about Cambridge Analytica, and it’s use of Facebook profiles/data in order to (allegedly) provide personality profiles and feedback to campaigns such as the 2016 US Presidential Election.
Personally, I’m more surprised at how shocked and amazed most people are about this.
Facebook has never really been about being useful to people – it’s always been a marketer’s wet-dream, getting people to voluntarily enter information about themselves, as well as about their interests, social connections, preferences, brands, and so on. The ‘social network’ thing was effectively a mechanism to make things work better for advertisers and marketers – it drew people in, it made them happy to give up their data, and their ‘reward’ was to connect with other people.
In the case of Cambridge Analytica, they appear to have taken the submitted data and linked profiles (as well as the ‘friends of friends’ profiles, which is pretty dodgy as they didn’t consent to it themselves, but again, I’m pretty sure that was part of Facebook’s allowances at the time) and then made use of that data for their own uses. Which isn’t – or at least shouldn’t be – Facebook’s problem. Supposedly the data from Facebook ‘wasn’t meant to be shared with others’, but that’s pretty tricky to word. If a vendor has sold me something (regardless of whether that product is data, goods, services, or whatever) and I’ve paid for it, then it’s mine to with as I will. It’s no longer the vendor’s responsibility. Otherwise we’re saying “I bought a car and drove it at people, it’s the vendor’s fault, they shouldn’t have sold it to me“, which is frankly fucking ridiculous.
There’ll be a lot more of these ‘stories’ to come out now, from any number of different data providers/handlers. Now Facebook are in the media’s gunsights, they’re going to have a tough time getting out of it. (And bearing in mind the ubiquity of Facebook logins on other sites for things like commenting, etc., it’s going to be quite the shitshow, I suspect)
All told, though, it’s just utterly unsurprising – except for the apparent shock of so many people who seemed to think that Facebook was some kind of benevolent ‘let the world stay in touch’ thing, with no cynical over-arching purpose, budget, plan, or activities.
Post-Valentine
Posted: Fri 16 February, 2018 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Festering Season, Marketing, Thoughts Leave a comment »As usual, I did absolutely sod-all for Valentine’s Day. (A revelation that comes as no shock at all to anyone who knows me)
However, I am glad it’s over and done with. To me, it’s the end of the really useless marketing cobblers for a while, all the materialistic shite about presents, cards, gifts and the like. Sure, there’ll still be useless marketing cobblers about other stuff – Easter, Holidays, Hallowe’en and whatever, but at least that’s all at a greatly reduced level than the shite that goes around the Festering Season and Valentines.
Onwards and upwards, and all that piss.
Reducing Caller Spam
Posted: Mon 29 January, 2018 Filed under: Advertising, BT, Customer Services, Domestic, Getting Organised, Marketing, Technology, Thoughts, Utilities 4 Comments »When I moved to the current place, I got a new phone number – not surprising, as I was in a new area, and a new (to me) house. As always, I registered that number with TPS and so on, and made sure it was ex-directory. I usually only use landline phones for broadband purposes – although it turns out I also use it here for some calls, as the mobile coverage inside the house is shockingly bad. So I have a phone landline, and a phone connected to it.
Unbeknownst to me, the number I got had obviously been owned by someone else before me, and that person was the type of fucking moron who’d sign up for all kinds of promotions, and ran up all kinds of debts. So right from Day One I was getting a couple of calls a week looking for the previous occupant. (Well, the previous owner of that phone number – it wasn’t a name connected to the house at all) And because they were for a previous person, it turns out that TPS doesn’t really apply. (Which is an interesting, and fucking annoying, loophole)
Even so, I re-registered with TPS, and put a spam-calls block on the line. (Which was absolutely useless, and so came off again) It was only a couple of calls a week, and usually while I was out at work. *shrug*
Over the last two years though, it got worse. The phone’s call log would get filled up in the course of a week, all with “Number Withheld” and “International” numbers, along with the ones who didn’t conceal their numbers, who left messages and blocked up everything else. I used a couple of other number-blocking services, none of which did much good. Hell, if I were cynical I’d say they were the ones who sold the number on and spread it ever further. Not that I’ll ever know for sure, one way or the other.
Late last year, the situation was ridiculous. We’d gone from a couple of calls a week right up to filling the phone’s call log every day. Nothing was working to prevent the calls, and it was just getting stupid.
So I bit the bullet, and changed my phone number. I explained to BT why I was doing it – in the hope that they now blacklist that number completely (although I doubt it, they’ll just have farmed it off on some other unsuspecting sap) – and got a new number allocated to me. Same set-up, it’s ex-d, and registered with TPS.
The big difference though, is that in the three months since I got it changed, I haven’t received a single solitary spam call. My phone call log stays blank (as I said, I don’t use it that often) and it’s lovely.
Sometimes these extreme measures are the ones we need to take. I wish I’d done this one two years ago…
Re-covered
Posted: Fri 29 September, 2017 Filed under: Advertising, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Insurance, Loyalty Schemes, Thoughts 4 Comments »Somehow, it’s already nearly a year since I got the latest car. Which, of course, means it’s also time for my insurance renewal to come through.
As usual, the current company have massively taken the piss, nearly doubling my premium this time round. For some reason, rather than having a number of different under-writers, they’ve recently decided to stick with just the one – and that one happens to be nothing short of extortionate.
Still, that’s fine, they can fuck off.
As a result, I’ve already sorted out a new policy with a different company. It’s got all the cover and options I wanted, and is cheaper than what I’ve paid this year, let alone the ridiculous renewal price.
I truly don’t understand the business model of the insurance industry, this attitude of “keep on charging more ’til people leave”. Surely if someone’s been with a company for [x] years, and established a record of being safe, not claiming etc., then it should be easier/cheaper/better to keep them, rather than letting them sod off somewhere else?
I suppose it might be the law of diminshing returns, an expectation the customers will claim eventually. Using that it kind-of makes sense, if all the customers are paying up, and if we can get rid of them before they cost us, then we’ve made money out of it, and it’s cost “some other company”.
But it all seems pretty flawed to me, and pretty bloody dumb. Hey ho. Their loss, not mine.
Offering A Service
Posted: Wed 27 September, 2017 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Milton Keynes, Pedantry, Thoughts 2 Comments »Every few days, I go past this office, and re-notice the window…
It’s a solicitor’s office, and I still can’t figure out whether they’re offering Abduction as a service to their clients (along with Domestic Violence!) or whether they actually mean they offer services based around Abduction and recovery of Abductees.
Either way, it always strikes me as an odd one to advertise – and even more so when it’s not clear what they’re actually doing.
Idents
Posted: Fri 21 July, 2017 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Brands, Domestic, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Of late, I’ve been watching a few more TV programmes on commercial channels, and as a result I’ve been seeing a lot more of the ident/sponsorship captions at the start and end of each ad break. (I’m sure there’s a proper name for them, but ‘ident’ will do for now) However, they primarily stick in the mind because they annoy me.
I know advertising is supposed to be all about brand recognition, making things that stick in the mind so we remember the company when we’re looking for whatever product they’re hawking. But all the idents (and a number of the primary adverts as well) only stick in my mind in order to be companies that I never, ever give any money to. (Which has happened several times now, looking for a product or service and knowing I won’t use [x] because their adverts annoy me so much)
Part of it, and the part that grates with me the most on idents, is a lack of range. I assume it’s a budgetary thing or something, but lots of them seem to make five idents, and think that’s enough. However, there are four ad-breaks, so there’s should be eight idents. Instead, we end up repeating at least a couple of idents – in just one programme! – and all that makes me think about the company is that they either haven’t thought things through, or they’re just cheap. Either way, I can’t see that as being the reaction/perception that the company is aiming for when they’ve spent a bundle on buying the slots and making the idents.
I mind less when they’ve only done the one ident – even thought it means it can end up being seen eight times per episode – because at least it’s simple and easy. It’s the supposedly-funny ones that aren’t amusing in the first place, let alone once you’ve seen it twice in an hour, and even less so over the full run of any series.
CrowdFunding
Posted: Wed 14 June, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, London, News, People, Politics, Thoughts 1 Comment »OK, I’ve got a new doozy of a conspiracy/cynicism thing for you.
Remember a few years back, Cameron belted on about how cuts in services meant that “Big Society” should step up, and do the things that councils and governments could no longer afford to?
Well…
Since then, we’ve seen an explosion in crowdfunding stuff – goFundMe, JustGiving, etc., – and now, any time anything happens, one of those appeals gets started.
What if…. What if those crowdfunding sites are the Big Society plan – people paying what they can to help those less well off, or in trouble because of situations that’ve been initiated by councils and governments?
So like today, ‘raise £200,000 to help people at Grenfell‘ – a fire that’s at least been contributed to by the negligence and shitness of funding by councils and governments. And what’s the betting that those crowd-funded compensations take the place (to a degree) of councils having to take the strain and fund accommodation, clothing etc.?
It’s dark as fuck, but somehow it also makes sense…
#1 Dad
Posted: Wed 14 June, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Creativity, Cynicism, Design, Domestic, Geeky, Marketing, People, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »Sometimes, you see something, and your brain just goes “What?!?” (or words to that effect, but with more swearing) Currently, there seems to be a theme connecting that with both Father’s Day and Star Wars.
Last year, we had the card with Kylo Ren…
[Spoiler from two years ago – Kylo Ren kills his father]
This year, I’ve seen this in Sainsbury’s…
I’m pretty damn sure they haven’t seen the same Star Wars films I have…
One Minute
Posted: Fri 26 May, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, I Don't Understand, People, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »Yesterday, a lot of people held a one-minute silence for the victims of Monday’s bombing in Manchester. Personally, I don’t really understand why this appears to have become one of the “done things” to do for any tragic event.
Yes, the bombing is awful, and should never have happened. The people who did it are unutterable motherfuckers, and deserve to be damned to whatever eternity their religion believes in. The victims shouldn’t have been victims, because this shit shouldn’t have happened.
But it did, and so we go on.
But what do these silences actually do? They re-focus attention on the event (but of course we’re not going to give terrorists the air of publicity that they crave, except when we then have every news broadcast for the next 72 hours focused pretty-much-purely on that event) and make people think about it even more. But we’re not going to let terrorists change our lives, are we? Except when we do, when there are now more armed police on the streets, and even more security on the streets, in airports and elsewhere – all of which changes our lives, and makes us think about terrorism even more.
I know the silences started off from the two-minutes-silence on Armistice Day – and I’m fine with that. But when did they become the done thing, the marker for every event?
I feel the same about the huge numbers of bouquets at the sites of deaths and tragedies. I get that people want to voice their sympathies, but when did a bouquet and gifts become the way to do it? It’s almost enough to make you wonder whether it’s not the florist industry behind it all, in a similar way to Valentine’s Day, just to improve their own profits – but this time out of the grimness and death of others. And the sodding cards that go with it – the ones that get read out in news broadcasts, that all seem to be suspiciously “on-message” for whatever’s been being reported.
The real start for the floral stuff seemed (to me) to be the death of Princess Diana, when flowers appeared everywhere, in true Damien Day style. Since then, they’ve accompanied every bloody event known to man.
Fine, people want to show their concerns, voice their sympathies and so on. But surely it’s better to do so with donations to a particular cause, with speaking up about (in the case of Manchester) terrorism and the like, to actually do something, rather than pay lipservice through a wallet and a minute’s silence?
Oscar-sight
Posted: Mon 27 February, 2017 Filed under: Advertising, Films Leave a comment »One of the stories of the weekend was the cockup at the Oscars on Sunday night, with La La Land initally being declared as “Best Film”, when it was actually Moonlight.
Ooooops
(Supposedly, the auditors/organisers had “mistakenly given the wrong category envelope to the presenters”)
What I loved though, was the speed that companies like Specsavers got in on the act…
10,000
Posted: Thu 23 February, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Health, Laziness, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the last couple of days, there’s been some coverage about an American scientist (which seems to be a pretty endangered species in the Age Of Trump) claiming that fitness trackers and pedometers are pretty arbitrary, and not necessarily the best way to go.
Which, I think it’s fair to say, we can file under “Sherlock, Shit, No”.
Of course that 10,000 steps a day advice is arbitrary. Even the figure tells you it’s arbitrary – those nice round numbers for ‘ideals’ simply don’t occur that often in reality.
Hager claimed the 10,000 steps target dated back to a 1960s Japanese study that showed there were health benefits for men who burned at least 2,000 calories per week through exercise – roughly equivalent to 10,000 steps each day. An early pedometer was known as the manpo-kei, which means “10,000-step meter” in Japanese.
Really, if anyone is taking anything from these devices as gospel truth, they’re a fucking moron. At best, these devices are indicators.
The heartrate monitor is well known to not be accurate – but so long as it’s fairly consistent per user/wearer, it’s a decent-enough indicator of where you stand. And if it suddenly dropped to reporting 10bpm (or 200bpm) then anyone vaguely sensible would take themselves to a GP for a proper check.
The same’s true for the sleep monitor (which I do use). It’s not gospel truth. But it’s a decent-enough indicator of awake vs. disturbed ‘sleep vs. actual REM sleep. Do I believe it innately? Hell no. But does it consistently show me my bad nights vs. less-bad ones? (I’m yet to have a good night’s sleep) Yes.
And if you can’t rely on those indicators, why would you rely on the step monitor? Simple, you wouldn’t. Can you game it and mess figures simply by swinging your arms more? Yep. But what’s the point of doing that, unless all you’re interested in is attaining that arbitrary [x],000 steps in a day? The only benefit in that is you, and you’re just cheating yourself.
However, it does make for a useful indicator, and a reminder to actually move more. I can understand (kinda) why people make these things into targets, but really all that’s important is being more active. And that’s what counts.
First Impressions
Posted: Sat 17 December, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Business, Catering, Cynicism, Literacy, Thoughts Leave a comment »It’s funny, sometimes, how a first impression – and sometimes even just a single word – can colour one’s judgement and feelings about something.
While geeking about yesterday, I did a google search for ‘Zucchini’ – a programme on TV was showing zucchini (courgettes) that were very different to the ones I recognise as courgettes, so I had a look.
And there on that results page, the second result was for Zucchini Restaurant in Batley, Yorkshire. It looks like this…
Yep – the first word of text on the site contains a spelling mistake. On an Italian word. For an Italian restaurant.
And just like that, I know I don’t want to go. If that’s their attention to detail, I’m out. Simple as that.
It’s Begun
Posted: Wed 9 November, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Cynicism, D4D™, Festering Season Leave a comment »
So here we are. Not even ten days into November, and the run-up to the Festering Season is fully underway.
The Christmas adverts have kicked in- and the ‘event’ ones like John Lewis etc. will be launching over the next few days.
The supermarkets have got all their tat out already, the cards, mince pies, chocolates etc., and even the fucking Christmas trees in the entrances, for shit’s sake.
Of course, the TV schedules are filling up with the standard reality TV run-ups, the BBC’s “Strictly” and ITV’s “X-Factor”.
Seven weeks or so to go, and it’ll be over for another nine months or so. In the meantime, D4D will be brought to you courtesy of the words “For”, “Fuck’s” and “Sake”. As usual.
Advertising Standards – Feedback
Posted: Tue 27 September, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Cynicism, Domestic, Loyalty Schemes, Thoughts Leave a comment »A while back, I wrote about OpenTable and the dodgy wording of their Dining Points loyalty scheme. At the time, it had just been referred to the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority), who were investigating further.
Last week, they came back to me – and while it’s still informal, OpenTable are supposedly changing the wording on the screens, to make things clearer about how the Dining Points scheme works.
It’s still not a situation I’m entirely happy with, because it can still be easily misinterpreted, and there’s a lot of inherent dodginess in the entire thing. But at least it’s progress.
It’s still with the ASA, following on from my own responses, but it’ll be interesting to see whether anything else comes of it.
Advertising Standards
Posted: Sat 27 August, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Customer Services, Domestic, Food, Getting Organised, Loyalty Schemes, Marketing, OpenTable, Pedantry, Solo Dining, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »With the whole “Solo Dining” project I’ve been doing this year, one of my bugbears has become OpenTable (who provide a lot of the table-reservation services for restaurants) and – more particularly – their “Dining Points” loyalty plan.
As it says on that page about Dining Points,
OpenTable UK members can earn OpenTable Dining Points when they make and honor reservations made through opentable.com, or our related mobile sites and apps.
They say the same thing on another modal window to explain Dining Points.
“Earn points every time you dine”
Except that’s not true – not true at all. I queried why I’d received zero points for several reservations over the last year, and they then started to say (and this is a direct quote from one of the responses)
points are only given to diners who start their search on our website and not the restaurants website as you know. This is because as you came from the restaurant website, you are considered a customer of the restaurant and they use our services on the back end to take your reservation for them. If we started awarding points to the customers of our clients they would feel that we are trying to steal you as a customer.
So OpenTable are, frankly, liars. They say clearly throughout the site “make a booking through OpenTable, and get points“, with no provisos, asterisks, or get-out clauses. This isn’t even me being pedantic about something – they’ve said something (repeatedly, in black-and-white!) that’s simply not true.
This would’ve been an easy fix for OpenTable, if they’d had any sense at all. If they’d said “Oh, sod, sorry, here, have the points, and we’ll make that text clearer“, we’d be done. But no, they started backtracking, patronising, and explaining why I was so wrong to believe their “Get points every time you book” spiel. No apology, no “thanks for letting us know“, nothing. All the customer-service skills of a concrete monolith.
Having hit that concrete monolith with no joy, I decided to take it further. Having checked their criteria, I raised it with the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority) and I’ve now had a confirmation from them that, having done an initial review, they’re going to investigate it further.
So, that’s going to be entertaining. I’m assuming that getting an ASA investigation done isn’t a trivial step, nor one that the ASA do for the fun of it. I’m also assuming that, because they’re investigating, the complaint has at least some merit.
As and when I hear back, I’ll write more here…
Eating Well For Less
Posted: Mon 22 August, 2016 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Brands, Cynicism, Domestic, Finances, Food, Health, Laziness, People, Shopping, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the last few weeks, I’ve been watching the BBC’s “Eat Well For Less” series. It’s an interesting concept, helping people with their eating habits (and more accurately, their spending on food) by removing all the labelling and branding from food in people’s houses, removing all the prejudices etc. around their food spending. They replace expensive branded stuff with ‘own-brand’ or cheaper alternatives (and in some cases with more expensive, but better/healthier options) and also leaving some things alone. Additionally, they help people with recipes for their favourite meals, rather than buying pre-packaged and so on.
A lot of it is insanely annoying, but the core information is (in my opinion) worth it, for both the families on the programme, and people watching it.
But oh Dear God, those families are fucking pathetic. There’s lots of preconceptions about brands being preferred “because they wouldn’t be so popular if they weren’t the best” and so on, which drives me crackers.
The most recent one tonight, though, drove me crackers. One family member had been diagnosed as coeliac, and had spent six years eating salads he hated. Six. Fucking. Years. How does anyone end up eating stuff they don’t like for six bloody years? There’s no logic in it that I can see – unless they haven’t done any enquiries or research about what’s got gluten in and so on?
In this case they were buying loads of pre-packaged food – and I get that more, because they were so worried about cross-contaminating from their foods to his, and making him ill – but with no thoughts or understanding. I think the peak point for me was buying pre-packaged “gluten-free” rice, not understanding that all rice is gluten-free, in the name of Jesus H Pant-shitting Christ.
So yeah, it’s been an interesting series, but Holy DogEggs, some people are fucking lazy/stupid/pathetic*.
(* Delete as applicable)
Non-Stereotypical
Posted: Sat 18 June, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »This time of year, the run-up to Father’s Day, is an odd one for me. (The same applies for Mother’s Day, but in different ways)
Basically, every time it comes around, I find myself looking for a card or a gift, and realising that my family don’t fall into any of the standard stereotypes that manufacturers and retails think they should.
It’s odd – although I don’t mind it in general – and it explains a lot about my mindset in general, but it’s just interesting to see how little any of my family fit into these themes and typical behaviours.
Badly Worded
Posted: Wed 30 March, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Central Bedfordshire Council, Customer Services, Education, Literacy, Thoughts Leave a comment »Just now, my local authority (Central Bedfordshire council) tweeted this, which is hilariously badly-worded…
I replied, asking them if they meant that it was an event for underage drinking/drinkers, or if they meant it to be an event informing about (and/or preventing/reducing) underage drinking – as it certainly looked like the former.
In fairness, they then responded, and removed the original tweet.
But still, it made me laugh, picky and pedantic bastard that I am.
[UPDATED]
They then replaced that tweet with this one…
It really isn’t a good day for Central Beds’ social-media team. But it’s a very funny one for me…
Desserts
Posted: Mon 14 March, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Brands, Daft Products, Domestic, Marketing, Thoughts Leave a comment »Another ‘Daft Product‘…
I love the idea of a set of dessert mousses, and have a company called Hipper to produce them.
And then, you can have the advertising slogan “Have a Pot o’ Hipper Mousse”.
Yes, I really do need to get out more…
Motoring Music
Posted: Fri 11 March, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Brands, Daft Products, Domestic, Marketing, Thoughts Leave a comment »Another for the ‘Daft Products’ thread…
How come Audi have never come up with the brand “O” for their car stereos?
It seems like a no-brainer to me, to be able to say “Car music provided by AudiO”, and the “AudiO Speakers” etc. etc.
Daft Products 1
Posted: Mon 7 March, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Brands, Daft Products, Domestic, Marketing, Thoughts Leave a comment »Occasionally, my idiot brain will spark up with ideas about products, brand names, advertising slogans and the like – I don’t know why, but they occur. Until now though, I’ve never bothered to write them down – mainly because a lot are daft.
However, it does occur to me that it might be an idea (if only to provide evidence of who thought of this crap first) to write them down for reference, and give them a category of their own. And here it is…
So. The first one – and one that I don’t understand why it’s never been done – is for toothpaste.
Tuba Toothpaste, to be precise.
Think about it – it seems so obvious, yet it’s never been done. I wonder why?
New Year, Same Ads
Posted: Sat 2 January, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Festering Season Leave a comment »
As always, now we’re out of the Festering Season, the TV is full of ads for holidays, sales, weight-loss and stopping smoking.
Regardless, I’m just happy it’s over once more, and some semblance of normality can return.
I haven’t yet seen any full-size Easter eggs in the shops – although I have seen Creme eggs and Mini Eggs – but I bet they’re on sale already.
Short-Term Let
Posted: Tue 9 June, 2015 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, Bad Ads, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Housing, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Three years ago, when I was looking at moving (and ended up where I still am now) there were a couple of other places in the running – they fitted my plans, location and cost wise, if nothing else.
I go past one of them regularly on commutes, visits to parents and the like – so I see it come back on the rental market every six months or so (which is, not coincidentally, the usual period for a first short-term tenancy)
It’s pretty grotty, and right on a busy main road, so I’m not surprised it’s regularly in need of new tenants – and it looks like this, so it’s hardly appealing…
That’s the only photo of it. There’s nothing of the inside at all – which always triggers my alarm bells, and is why I didn’t even visit it, so I’ve no idea what it looks like inside. I can’t imagine it’s much good though.
Even the sales description doesn’t do it any favours.
A One bedroom cottage situated on the outskirts of [village]. The property benefits from a parking area to the side and views of the countryside to the rear. Offered Unfurnished and Available Early July.
Entrance to Rear, Kitchen, Lounge, Bathroom, Double Bedroom, Shared Courtyard Garden, Double Glazed Windows, Electric Heating.
What fascinates me is that people choose it at all. OK, it’s dirt-cheap – although actually still a bit more expensive than the place I ended up with – but that doesn’t make it an appealing proposition. I’d imagine it’s even less of one after you’ve visited, seen the location and heard the road noise.
So I do wonder what type of person chooses it, and why. And (of course) where they go next, once their six months there is done…
Make Up Your Damn Mind 2
Posted: Thu 30 April, 2015 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Food, Stupidity, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »It seems like a developing theme (although I don’t intend it to be so) but I’ve been noticing dodgy signage/labelling this week.
This one is at a local restaurant…
If you’re advertising a menu as “All day every day”, you can’t then qualify it as “up to 6pm on Friday and Saturday”, can you?
*sigh*
Make Up Your Damn Mind
Posted: Wed 29 April, 2015 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Food, Health, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »While shopping this morning, I looked at “Glaceau Vitamin Water“. Not for any intention of buying, just out of interest (I got a promo thingy for it, so thought I’d look).
The labelling is….. interesting.
So… “Zero Calories”, but 100ml contains 1.5 calories, and 500ml contains 8calories.
All told, that makes it a pretty interesting interpretation of “zero”…
Night Will Fall
Posted: Mon 26 January, 2015 Filed under: Advertising, Domestic, Films, Television, Thoughts, Time Leave a comment »Over the weekend, as part of Holocaust Memorial Day, Channel4 showed a documentary called “Holocaust – Night Will Fall” about the films made by the allied forces as they discovered Nazi Germany’s various concentration and death-camps at the end of World War 2, and recorded what they saw and discovered.
While absolutely vile – despite descriptions, you never really see the true results of those camps – it was also essential viewing, and a fascinating story as well. No modern film can truly show the effects of emaciation on bodies – no actor, regardless of dedication, would put themselves to that level – so you might see people being “very thin”, but the recordings on Night Will Fall put all of that into perspective. It’s not something you can look away from, but nor can you believe either the way the bodies are/were, or the sheer number of deaths. The piles of spectacles, the boxes of dentures, the sacks of human hair – they all show how many died, but you still can’t actually understand the sheer scale of the deaths. I truly don’t think anyone can envision millions of bodies.
The other impressive thing about the programme was that Channel4 showed it without adverts. A ninety-minute film, straight through. I thought that said a lot about Channel4 (although the more cynical would say “who would actually buy advertising space in the middle of a holocaust documentary anyway?”) but it’s still a commitment on the part of C4, and I fully believe that should be acknowledged and respected, as they’re primarily a commercial channel.
The film/documentary itself, I just think everyone should see it, and that it should be shown in schools as part of a default history curriculum. That sort of thing just should never happen again. Ever.
Knackers
Posted: Tue 23 December, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Festering Season, News, People Leave a comment »
Among the things that have amused me today, the image on this BBC story about German Christmas Markets made me chuckle.
After all, how many times do you get to see the word “Knacker” on the BBC? And particularly in connection to the whole Festering Season…
It probably says a lot about my mindset that it was the word ‘Knacker’ that I noticed first out of the entire thing…
Spam Tendencies
Posted: Mon 15 December, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Geeky, People Leave a comment »One of my geekier interests (and there’s a long list, I know) is that I find it interesting what sort of subjects are used by spammers in their efforts to get people to click on their ropy emails/links.
I’ve got one email account that gets spammed rotten, and I look through it on occasion when I’ve nothing better to do.
In this case, I had a look on Saturday evening, while my brain was somewhat comatose, and found that the following seem to be currently popular…
- “You’ve been accepted onto this year’s ‘Who’s Who’ listings – click here to verify your details’ (appealing to the vanity of the vacuous who’ve done fuck-all)
- Working from home (no surprise there)
- ‘Super-low’ mortgage rates (again, no real surprise)
- And some weird shit about ‘this 57 year-old man cured Diabetes/Alzheimers/Cancer’ which I don’t quite get.
Of course there’s plenty of others, but I’d guesstimate that those four account for about 60% of the shit I receive on any given day…
Shotgun Mop
Posted: Sat 29 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Domestic, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »With working from home, I’ve recently seen more adverts on TV than usual. Every so often, I get to one that just makes me wonder what the hell the advertising agency were thinking of – and what persuaded the client company to think it was a good idea too.
Today’s case is this one for a new type of mop by Spontex.
So what’s the message meant to be here?
Is it supposed to be funny?
Surely it can’t be intended to say “Using our new mop could put you at risk of getting shot by the police”?
And what the chuff is the motive for the hedgehog walking across the floor at the end?
I wonder if it will get pulled as and when the police accidentally shoot someone innocent…
Black Friday
Posted: Fri 28 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Marketing 3 Comments »According to half the retailers in the UK, today is ‘Black Friday‘. Except, um, it’s not, not really.
Black Friday is the American equivalent of our Boxing Day sales. It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and is traditionally when American stores have all their bargains and super-deals, because it’s usually regarded as the start of the Christmas shopping season.
Obviously, Thanksgiving isn’t something that we in the UK celebrate – and if we did, it would be more about celebrating getting rid of those puritanical shitbags onto the Mayflower in the first place, going off to found the Plymouth Colony.
So Black Friday means the sum total of fuck-all squared, except as a marketing ploy for people to follow and buy yet more shit they don’t really need.
Racist Epilation
Posted: Tue 25 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Cynicism Leave a comment »One aspect of working from home on a regular basis is that sometimes I get to see daytime TV – including, on occasion, adverts.
In this case, I saw one for the Homedics Duo epilator, and then noticed the small print at the bottom of the screen.
Not effective on red, grey, or light blonde hair. Not suitable for black skin
Now seriously, what the actual fuck is that all about?
An epilator that won’t work on any hair except brown, black (or, one assumes, ‘dark blonde’- whatever the fuck that is) and not on black skin. Makes it pretty shit, surely?
Mind you, that’s probably why they’re advertising it on bloody daytime TV…
Christmas Parks
Posted: Mon 24 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Customer Services, Cynicism, Festering Season, Marketing, People, Stupidity, Sweary Leave a comment »
I don’t know when/why it started, but it now seems that part of the media’s Christmas tradition is to have a report/story about a “Christmas Park” that opens in November and closes down after one day because of its general shitness, and the resultant litany of customer complaints.
This year, the ‘honour’ has apparently gone to ‘The Magical Journey‘, which was designed/proposed by arch-tossrag Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen
But really, what does anyone expect? These arseholic fucktrumpets are paying up to £20 a head to go and ‘see Santa’ – in November, in unseasonably warm/mild weather – and then get upset that it’s muddy, that they’ve got to queue for ages to see sodding Santa, and that really it’s all – gasp! – a bit shit.
Rather than talking to Trading Standards, I’d suggest probably getting mental health professionals involved, and getting every single one of those paying customers to take a good long hard look at themselves. For fuck’s sake.
Just Over The Horizon
Posted: Fri 17 October, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season Leave a comment »
The Festering Season is coming.
How can I tell? (Other than the simple method of ‘look at the bloody calendar’) It really is quite simple…
- The bloody X-Factor has started
- There’s already a load of TV ads for Perfume, new console Games and shitty music compilations
- There’s also adverts from Park for “an Affordable christmas” for Christmas 2015, for fuck’s sorry sake.
- Supermarkets, not content with having chocolate selection boxes etc. out are now starting to put decorations and cards on the shelves too. (And yes, it’s still only mid-October, I know)
I’m just wondering now how long it’ll be ’til I hear the first bloody carol somewhere
Forskolin
Posted: Tue 22 July, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Creativity, Cynicism 3 Comments »At the moment, I’m getting an absolute shedload of spam for some supposed new wonder-drug product called “Forskolin”
Now surely it can’t just be me that chuckles at the name, and thinks it’s referring to something somewhat ruder? And really? They couldn’t come up with a better name for a slimming product than something that makes you think “Foreskin” every time?
The Devil in the Details – Lloyds
Posted: Fri 23 May, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Bad Ads, Cynicism, Finances, Marketing, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Following on from yesterday’s post about Nissan’s dodgy advertising, maths and small-print, the other ad currently incurring my ire is from Lloyds Bank, advertising their new “Club Lloyds” current account.
Now, while I think that clubbing Lloyds would be a fantastic idea, that isn’t the thing with this new account. Here’s the ad…
And again, here’s that small-print, while they’re bleating on about how great it is to have an account paying 4% interest…
Pay two separate monthly Direct Debits to earn variable tiered monthly interest. 4.0% AER (3.93% Gross) on balances between £4,000 and £5,000. Lower rates apply for lower tiers
So yep – that 4% interest ONLY applies if you keep more than £4,000 in your current account – but below £5,000. And if we look at that Club Lloyds webpage, what do we find? (I’m going to paraphrase, but you can look for yourself)
- Balances from £1 – £1,999.99 – 1% interest
- £2,000 to £3,999.99 – 2% interest
- £4,000 to £5,000 – 4% interest (and note how that band is half the size of the other two)
And right at the bottom of the explanation?
We don’t pay interest on amounts over £5,000.
Yep – no interest at all if you’ve got over the £5,000 in there.
Fuck you, Lloyds.
The Devil in the Details – Nissan
Posted: Thu 22 May, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Bad Ads, Corbett, Cynicism, Driving, Green, Marketing, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »As regular readers will know, I have a really bad habit of reading the small print. (I say ‘really bad’ although it’s not – anyone who doesn’t deserves everything they get. It’s just ‘really bad’ from the advertiser’s perspective) There’s two ads doing the rounds at the moment that annoy me, so you know what? You get two posts out of it. Lucky you.
The first (which arrived in my inbox just now, and motivated me to write it) was for a leasing arrangement on a new car – a Nissan Leaf, if anyone cares.
The deal offered is this :
The 100% electric New Nissan LEAF Visia Flex FROM ONLY £199 A MONTH*
WITH A £3,250 ADVANCE RENTAL CONTRIBUTION
OK, so they mention that “Advance Rental Contribution” (which is a deposit, surely?) right at the start, and already it’s skewing the figures. But then we get to the bottom, and the small print…
Finance is available subject to status on eligible new vehicles registered between 01/04/14 and 30/06/14 in the UK to persons aged 18 or over. Rental stated is for Nissan lease. Advance rental of £5,750 (includes £3,250 Advance Rental Contribution) followed by 48 monthly rentals of £199 a month and final rental of £6,201.
Hang on – £5,750 upfront? That’s another £2,500, on top of the “Advance Rental Contribution” – where has it come from, and what’s it for? Even if you take out the first month’s £199, that’s still £2,300 unexplained. Fucking hell.
All told – with all those amounts listed, that comes to £21,503. For a poxy Nissan Leaf.
But then it gets better… (Sorry, “better”)
Once you have paid the final rental you can keep using the car by paying an annual rental of £50 + VAT; if you choose Nissan lease then you will never own the car.
As well as entering in to a lease agreement for the vehicle, you will need to enter in to a separate lease agreement for the battery. Monthly price shown includes the on-going monthly battery lease charge of £70.
Now they’re just taking the piss, surely ? So even when you’ve stumped up your £21,503 – sorry, £21,563 including that little final ‘annual rental’ charge, then you will *still* be paying £70 a month for the fucking batteries?
Up yours, Nissan.
Skewing Perceptions
Posted: Tue 15 April, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, News 1 Comment »This story from Business Insider contains one of the worst (or cleverest, depending on your perspective) graphs in history.
The story is about gun deaths in Florida, and contains the graph below, created by Florida’s Department of Law Enforcement.
Looks like deaths went down after the “Stand Your Ground” law came in, doesn’t it?
But no, look at that Y axis on the chart (or the bold ‘totals’). The scale is upside down – so gun deaths actually increased after that law came in.
I can hear Blue Witch gnashing her teeth about that graph already…
Giving The Game Away
Posted: Mon 3 March, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cinema, Domestic, Films, People, Seeing Films, Thoughts Leave a comment »Yesterday, for want of anything better to do, I went to see Ride Along at the cinema. I expected it to be bad – but screw it, it was free (although if it hadn’t been, I’d have been wanting my money back. Hell, I considered asking for a refund anyway)
It’s definitely an early contender (in my opinion) for the Worst Film of the Year (Mainstream / ‘Comedy’) category, but (as said) I pretty much expected that. Hated it. Although others in the audience at least laughed, so I guess that’s something.
What did surprise me though was how many of the key ‘jokes’ and scenes had been given away in the trailer – but also how many people still laughed at them.
It made me wonder if they’d actually seen the trailer before going to see the film, and if so, had forgotten them in the intervening time.
All very strange.
You Had One Job…
Posted: Sun 23 February, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, Cynicism, Pedantry, Stupidity Leave a comment »While out and about this weekend, I spotted this sign, and simply had to stop and take a picture of it…
Romans Estate Agents, you had one job, and this is what you get…
(Amusingly, their website also claims “a thorough approach to every aspect of our business”)
It’s a Pie
Posted: Tue 18 February, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Cinema, Cynicism, Marketing, Media, Pedantry, Writing Leave a comment »Another in the occasional series of “adverts that annoy me” – this one is one of the ones from Santander (which I still think are creepy, as I have said before)
Why does it annoy me? Again, because of one line.
At the start, we can see that the guy is making a pie, and putting a pastry lattice over the top. Yet the woman says
“I really like what you’re doing with that cake”
It’s a fucking pie, you idiot.
Bad Writing
Posted: Sun 16 February, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Bad Ads, Cinema, Films, Pedantry, Writing Leave a comment »Recently my visits to the local cinema have included the trailer below, for a new film called “Winter’s Tale”
Within that trailer is the line
I’ve had no memory for as long as I can remember
which just drives me crackers. Seriously, people get paid for writing piss like that?
I mean, if you’ve no memory then of course it’s for as long as you can remember. Because you’ve got no fucking memory, you insufferable ballbag!
And breathe…
Valentine
Posted: Fri 14 February, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Marketing, People, Valentine's Day Leave a comment »As regular readers know, this is one of my least-favourite days of the year. I waver between which is most loathed between Valentine’s and Christmas – I think Valentine’s generally comes higher, because it really is far more of a marketing event. At least the Festering Season has a basis in something older (even if it is religious and thus still utterly fictional) whereas Valentine’s really is just about making single people feel bad.
I know, it’s originally the official day for St Valentine, and it’s always been related to love – but it does seem to have been appropriated by marketing, chocolate and flowers over the years.
As usual I’m avoiding as much of it as possible.
Only a Month
Posted: Tue 14 January, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Valentine's Day Leave a comment »Just think, in a month’s time it’ll already be Valentine’s Day – or VD as it’s known to its friends.
I think this image will now be the one to identify all posts relating to VD…
Time flies, and all that piss.
Benefits Street
Posted: Mon 13 January, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Stupidity, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »At the moment, Channel 4 has a documentary series called “Benefits Street”, based around one road in Birmingham where the majority of its inhabitants are – yes! – on benefits.
It’s pretty standard C4 documentary fare, and follows on from others in similar vein, including “Skint” (families in Scunthorpe who are – yes! – on benefits) and so on. And as with the other similar ones, it got Twitter, Facebook, and the media in general up in arms. The fact that all this makes for great free advertising for the programme (because people want to watch it and see what everyone else is talking about) is of course purely coincidental.
No, of course Channel4 aren’t trolling media and social media in order to boost their own viewing figures. Of course not. *cough*
I didn’t bother with it – I know pretty much what it’ll show, they’ll focus on “human interest” stories within the street, edit it to within an inch of its life, show all the stereotypes, the ‘boss’ of the street, people shoplifting, drug-growing/dealing ‘to make ends meet’ and all the rest of it.
The thing that annoyed me the most about the entire hysteria though was that people started a petition to stop Channel 4 from showing the rest of the series. Which is inherently pointless. The programme’s been made, it’s all over and done with. Hiding it away is effectively no different to hiding away the issues of people who are on benefits. More importantly, it’ll make it into more of a talking point, and boost viewing figures.
If you don’t like this kind of programme, there’s a simple answer. Don’t watch it. Don’t promote it. Don’t talk about it, don’t link to it. Don’t bitch about it. But most importantly – don’t watch it. There’s plenty of other channels and programmes. Channel4 is funded by its advertisers – by the people who want to promote their goods/products within the programme and the ad breaks. The more a programme is viewed, the more Channel4 can charge those advertisers.
If you don’t watch the programme, it doesn’t get viewers. And Channel4 won’t bother making more of a set of programmes that lose money, that don’t have viewers, and they’ll do something else instead.
It really is that simple.
Remember The Name
Posted: Tue 7 January, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Geeky, Marketing, Media, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the Christmas Break, I watched more ‘live TV’ (i.e. not stuff recorded on my PVR, and not ‘delayed’ so I could skip adverts) than I usually do, and thus saw more adverts than normal. Advertising is something that interests me for a lot of reasons, mostly having worked for/with a number of agencies over the years, and also being interested in the psychology and manipulation behind them.
As always, “Brand Recognition” is one of my bug-bears, because for a lot of the time it seems that advertisers don’t care about much else, so long as you remember the brand-name. However, in my experience a lot of the time I remember the brands just so I can be sure to never, ever give them any money. This happens particularly when an advert (or set thereof) are
- insanely annoying (Insurance Comparison sites, EE, and the like) or
- paying money to people I can’t abide, and/or hypocrites (an example covering both those is when Knorr were using Marco Pierre White to advertise their stock-cubes – a product he wouldn’t touch in a month of Sundays)
I’ve written before about how adverts for certain industries are changing – usually for the better – but it’s interested me to see how GoCompare in particular have continued that change.
When they started, GoCompare had one of the most insanely irritating advertising “characters” (that bloody opera singer) known to man. I won’t link to anything, because it’ll just cause brain-damage and broken monitors. (Apparently it was also voted “most irritating advert” for 2009 and 2010 – quite the achievement) GoCompare then had ads of various celebrities killing the character in a variety of ways, and over the last year or so it’s been about the same character trying to get back into the adverts, and various ‘wacky’ schemes to advertise the company.
Now, though, they’ve changed again, and the same character appears to have become a driver or guide on coach tours. (Although I did like the reference to Blakey from ‘On the Buses‘, but that’s probably just a sign that I’m old) I have no idea where they plan to go with this set of adverts – although at least now they’re just weird and self-referential, rather than being actively violence-inducing.
I still wouldn’t ever hand over money to GoCompare – that memory of the dire branding will last a long time – but it’s been interesting to see how their stuff has altered over the last couple of years, in some sort of recognition that people hated the original concept.
[Updated and reposted on 7/1/14] – The Drum posted up this article about the ads, saying…
“We know that people will be keen to see what happens to Gio next. The new campaign will firmly position him as the legend that we all know him to be, but will also see the introduction of new characters enabling us to convey aspects of the Gocompare.com service that differentiate the brand still further.”
Although my favourite line (and I’m sure it means something other than what I’m choosing to read it as meaning) comes at the end of the article…
A series of executions are set to appear throughout the year.
Captive Audience – Anti-Piracy Ads (Updated)
Posted: Sat 4 January, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cinema, Customer Services, Cynicism, Films, Thoughts Leave a comment »Back in October 2012 – fucking hell, is it really over a year since I wrote it? – I wrote about cinema adverts for anti-piracy, which really annoyed me. Basically, the ads are aimed at stopping film/video piracy, but were only being seen by people who’d already paid for a ticket, and were thus – um – unlikely to be pirates in the first place.
The even greater irony being that, of course, pirated films don’t have the anti-piracy adverts on them. (Which I can only see as a plus point for pirated films, to be fair)
Anyway, it occurred to me this week that actually, I haven’t seen one of those adverts in a few months – which is no bad thing.
Maybe all the complaints I made to Cineworld about them have paid off. And if that’s the case, maybe it’s time I start complaining about the bloody awful ones for EE, starring Kevin Bacon. After all, all they do is add EE to the list of people I will never, ever give my money to.
All Done
Posted: Thu 2 January, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Marketing, Media Leave a comment »You can tell that we’re now completely done with Christmas 2013. How? Well…
- The TV Adverts are all for
- Diet plans
- Holidays
- Sales – primarily for Furniture, Kitchens, and other ‘big ticket’ items
- Stopping smoking
- Internet Dating (Because don’t forget, it’s only six weeks ’til Valentine’s Day)
- Selling off unwanted christmas presents
- Cold cures
- Checking your credit score
- Cadbury’s Creme Eggs and Mini Eggs are in the shops for Easter (and it won’t be long ’til proper Easter Eggs are on sale – I’ve already seen Hot Cross Buns!)
- The news is full of ridiculous twaddle, because there’s sod-all of import going on
Still, at least we won’t see another bloody perfume advert until the run-up to Mother’s Day.
Equal Opportunities
Posted: Thu 26 December, 2013 Filed under: Advertising Leave a comment »I’d forgotten to write about this previously, but I think that this advert by Guinsess is one of the best ones this year.
I love the portrayal of integration and acceptance it shows – just think it’s a brilliant ad.
Festerous
Posted: Thu 21 November, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Charm School, D4D™, Festering Season, Marketing, People, Shopping, Thoughts Leave a comment »
This year I’m trying hard to not get ranty about the Festering Season – which is no mean feat, I can assure you. (I’ve also just discovered that I’ve not used that Scrooge image for nearly three years in a Festering Season post, so welcome back owd fella)
After all, my local Tesco Tosspots had Christmas Cards on sale at the end of September, for fuck’s sake. They’ve had mince pies since August, but I didn’t even bother getting any photos of those.
Since then, it’s just been going on and on. Their tree went up (fully decorated) before Hallowe’en was done. The foodstuffs have been in since November 1st.
I know shops need to have the time to sell all their festive shit. I suspect that they’re also stretching out the season ‘because of the financial climate’, allowing their customers to spread the cost of the Festering Season over greater time, rather than being crippled in December. I get that, and I don’t mind. (Too much)
It still narks me that everything is so obsessed with materialism, gifts, and the social-status inferred therein. I can’t help it. I don’t like seeing it in the shops for three damn months, or hearing poxy bastard carols on shop sound systems for two months. But it’s pretty much unavoidable – I try to limit my exposure to it all, but there still has to be some, sadly.
But I’m trying hard to not be too ranty about it. For now. That may change over the next few weeks – after all, there’s still a month to go…
Search Terms
Posted: Tue 19 November, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Media, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Yesterday it was announced that Google and Microsoft (by which they mean Bing) were editing/updating 100,000 search terms linked to images of child abuse. That’s all well and good, except that
- I’m sure there’s a lot more than 100,000 terms that could be used/created/combined in order to find those results
- I’m also pretty damn certain that the main perpetrators, creators and viewers of such images don’t hunt for them using run-of-the-mill search engines like Google and Bing.
- And yes, OK, probably there are people stupid enough to search using mainstream search, but those are the ones that are easy (well, easier) to track down and locate anyway.
So really (as far as I can see) this is more of a sop to the media and government than it is likely to be of any real use or relevance.
Legalised
Posted: Tue 22 October, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Corbett, Cynicism, D4D™, Geeky, Legal, Marketing, Stupidity, Time Leave a comment »It’s now two years since my little spat with Ian Corbett (of Toyota Ireland) and his legal advisors was completed. I said at the time that the way they’d requested things to work out wouldn’t actually get rid of the search engine results that annoyed him so much. But he’s a marketing manager, so one assumes he knows these things, and that I would be wrong.
On a random whim, I searched the other day on Google for said person – and lo, I was right. Even when searching for just name + company (with no mention of D4D™ at all) up comes D4D™ with a nice healthy 4th place in the search results. And now there’s also Google Images, I can also see what the glaikit bawbag looks like, too.
All told, I can’t deny, I do find this very amusing. And there’s nothing at all I can do about it, it’s all in the hands of That There Google.
Approaching Year-End (Part 2)
Posted: Mon 23 September, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season, People, Shopping 1 Comment »At the end of August, I wrote about the signs that we were coming to the end of the year, and the Festering Season. Obviously X-Factor and Strictly being back on TV are the two primary harbingers mentioned in that one.
Now though, I’m seeing more signs – and they seem to be earlier than ever.
- On TV, we’re starting to see the adverts for perfumes/fragrances (for both men and women) and also the music compilation CDs that only ever seem to be on the shelves for the Festering Season. It’s always the “Oh god, I don’t know – get something” gift of last resort.
- In the supermarkets, hard though it is to believe, there’s already Christmas confectionary and mince pies on the shelves.
- And then there was this, spotted yesterday…
Yep, Christmas Cards are already on the shelves. I despair.
I’m surprised at how early all this tat is hitting the shops- I assume it’s retail’s way of handling people having less money than usual, so making the items available ever earlier. Personally I think that’s bollocks, and they’re just hoping for as many sales as possible – but as you can see from the picture above, people are actually buying the damn cards already…
The Beginning of the End (Of the Year)
Posted: Fri 30 August, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season, Television 1 Comment »It’s only August, but we’re already building up towards the end of the year.
This weekend, it’s the return of evil Saturday-night ITV drivel ‘contest’ The X-Factor. Knowing that the target for this is (as always) the Christmas Number One single, you know it’s only [x] weeks ’til the Festering Season is upon us once more.
Next weekend, BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing is back on. In the same way, that’s now part of the run-up to the Festering Season.
I won’t be watching either of them, but it’s still a signpost that that fat old bearded bastard is on the way, red suit, reindeer and all.
Bah Fucking Humbug.
Children and Racism
Posted: Thu 25 July, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Charm School, People Leave a comment »This video is really interesting…
Basically, Cheerios released an advert in America that featured a multi-racial relationship, and – unsurprisingly – a lot of people complained about it. The video below shows the ads, and then the reactions of some young children to it, and to the ‘controversy’.
If nothing else, it gives us some hope for the future, where America will possibly become less racist.
Advertising Morphosis – Friendly Money
Posted: Thu 27 June, 2013 Filed under: Advertising, Change, Creativity Leave a comment »Yesterday I wrote a bit about the changes in advertising for insurance comparison websites. The other main group that seem to be changing adverts at the moment are the Payday Lending industry.
Having worked in that industry, I’m probably a wee bit more attuned to those adverts than others. Part and parcel of being a geeky swine, I suppose.
Anyway, the two main companies whose advertising I’ve noticed changing are Amigo Loans and QuickQuid / Pounds to Pocket. Both have ended up with new agencies, I’m sure – the new advertising is worlds apart from the previous stuff. I’m not going to add links to their videos, I’m just interested in the way their portrayal has changed.
Amigo have gone from the Mexico-based advertising linked to their name to a newer one that appears to be more like Morph In Debt.
The other main one is QuickQuid / Pounds to Pocket – they’re the same company, so it’s really no surprise that they’ve gone down the same route with advertising, and the same agency. Interestingly they’ve gone away from the “realistic scenario” type of advert and are now using a theme of aliens and scientists. Why, I don’t know – I’m not an advertising wonk, so the whole concept is a bit beyond me.
All the same, it’s interesting to see how these things are changing, as these once ‘on the edge’ industries appear to be becoming more mainstream, more accepted, and (I assume) making use of larger agencies, with bigger budgets.
Advertising Morphosis – Comparing Confusion
Posted: Wed 26 June, 2013 Filed under: Advertising, Change, Creativity, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the last few months, it’s been interesting to see the adverts on TV that have changed radically – and as it happens, there are two main industries who appear to have changed their advertising massively in that time. The first is insurance comparison websites, the second is payday lenders.
In both areas, I suspect the reasons for change are the same – of all the adverts on TV, those two sectors had the adverts that were the most annoying. Insurance Comparison sites advertising was pretty much universally loathed – I know that their ‘recognise the brand’ methods worked, but backfired in that I remembered the brands so I could be sure to never ever give them any money.
GoCompare was the biggest culprit on this, with their poxy opera-‘singer’ character.
He’s still around, but they’re fading the character out. (And not a moment too soon, in my opinion)
They’re interesting, because in a lot of ways they now seem to be acknowledging that the character is/was ridiculously fucking annoying, and they’re now working on keeping the character while hopefully reducing the annoyance factor significantly.
The next biggest one was Confused.com, who’ve got rid of their super-annoying animated and musical adverts…
And replaced it with a weird Wall-E-esque robot instead…
It’s all definitely an improvement, and on the rareish occasions I watch adverts (more often caused by forgetting I’m watching something recorded, and still watching the ads) I no longer feel the need to poke my eyes out and block my ears.
All in One – or Not
Posted: Sun 9 June, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism 2 Comments »Currently, Persil have some adverts running on TV about their new “All in One” washing capsules. (There’s no youtube version of it so far that I could find.)
Except, if you read the “terms and conditions” text (also known as “the bit where we need to be a bit more honest”)…
“Capsules do not contain fabric softener”
So – not really ‘All in One” at all then?
Lying fuckstick bastard advertisers.
Stalker TV Ad
Posted: Sun 17 March, 2013 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Marketing, People, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »At the moment, Santander have a set of adverts ‘starring’ Jensen Button, Jessica Ennis and Rory McIlroy. Suffice it to say, they’re pretty creepy…
Seriously, what crack-headed advertising exec ever thought this would be a good idea? To have sporting ‘celebrities’ effectively invading the homes and lives of everyday people, and stalking them? I can’t even understand how it’s going to portray bankers and banking in a positive light.
Indeed for me all it does is serve to make me actively not want to use Santander for anything. Ever.
(Although, on a more cynical note, it does amuse me that Santander are also paying to have the logos for Nike and Adidas all over their ad)
Annual Non-Imaginative Day
Posted: Thu 14 February, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Valentine's Day Leave a comment »So yes, Valentine’s Day. Again.
It’s the day where unimaginative couples everywhere buy cards, flowers, chocolates and/or food to say something they should be doing on every day except this one.
Enjoy. Or, you know, say it with roses…
The Value of Romance
Posted: Mon 11 February, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Food, Marketing, People, Thoughts, Valentine's Day Leave a comment »While out over the weekend, I went past a Wetherspoons pub, and they’ve got a stunning offer for Valentine’s Day.
Yup – take your beloved out and show her how much you love and value them by making it a Meal for Two for £20. What could possibly be more romantic than that ?
And the sad thing is, I bet they’ll be bloody packed.
Weird Marketing
Posted: Fri 1 February, 2013 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Marketing, People, Valentine's Day, Weirdness 2 Comments »The other day, I got the strangest marketing email in a long while.
It’s from Apple, which probably explains a lot, but still, you’ve got to wonder when it comes to a subject/tag-line like this…
iPad or iPad mini. The perfect choice for Valentine’s Day.
I just can’t compute how that even works .
The additional image didn’t help explain, either.
Holiday Results
Posted: Tue 22 January, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Weirdness Leave a comment »Sometimes I swear my brain works differently to everyone elses. (Or at least differently to the people who work in advertising agencies) I’ve just seen an advert saying
“Book your holiday with [company] before January 31st, and your first child comes free!”
And my first thought was “Well, I suppose if it’s conceived there…”
Season Change
Posted: Wed 2 January, 2013 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season, People, Thoughts 2 Comments »Now that we’re over and done with on the Festering Season, it’s a season change in the advertising world.
Away go all the ads for perfume, shitty music compilations, and Christmas stuff in general.
Instead, for the start of the new year we get adverts for
- Dating sites – eHarmony, Match.com, etc.
- Weight-loss programmes – WeightWatchers, DietChef and Slimming World
- Holidays (and airlines)
- Banks
One advert is missing from the list though – I think this is the first time in about a decade that I haven’t seen an advert for stopping smoking . I assume they think everyone who’s going to quit has done so by now. Or maybe it’s an extension of all the other laws/rules about not advertising cigarettes – they now also can’t advertise stopping smoking?
Anyway, it’s all interesting, in that it shows how much advertisers expect people to be ‘normal’, to do certain things at certain times of the year. I find that fascinating.
The Festering Season, 2012
Posted: Tue 18 December, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Festering Season, Introspective, Shopping, Thoughts 1 Comment »For whatever reason, 2012’s Festering Season hasn’t really had as much of an impact on me as usual.
Maybe I’m mellowing. Maybe I’ve just given up on it as an unwinnable fight. I don’t know.
I still get annoyed by the bullshit commerciality of the entire enterprise – things like
- seeing Christmas cards in the shops before Hallowe’en
- Hearing Christmas Carols in November
- Mince Pies with a ‘best before’ in November
- All the insane consumer-driven shopfests in December – particularly in supermarkets
But for whatever reason, I can’t really find it in me at the moment to rant about it. Maybe I’m feeling pretty chilled at the moment, maybe it’s just (as I said before) because it’s pretty much an unwinnable fight. Maybe I’m just a bit tired of being ranty.
Whatever the reason, it just hasn’t annoyed me as much as usual.
BT Hallowe’en Advert
Posted: Wed 28 November, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism Leave a comment »Amusingly, BT are still showing their Hallowe’en based advert – even a month past the date.
So I wonder, what does this fact tell us about BT ?
- That their attention to detail is shocking
- That they can’t plan properly – otherwise the ad would’ve been in October, and never again
- That they’re getting their money’s worth out of even the worst bag of crap
- All of the above.
Critical Reading
Posted: Fri 16 November, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Creativity, Cynicism, Education, Food, Literacy, Pedantry, Thoughts 6 Comments »As has been observed many times over the years, I can be a really picky/pedantic bastard – particularly when it comes to spelling, punctuation, and literacy in general. And it’s true, I am all of those things.
Today I’ve been proof-reading a menu for the work Christmas Do (of which more at some other point) – and with some of the errors, had to check the original menu.
So – would you still go to a place whose menu has spelling errors? I realise that the typing and publication of the menu won’t have come direct from the chef, and will have been farmed out to someone on reception (or similar) – but really, if chefs / owners are so obsessed about control, wouldn’t that also extend to the menu, and how it represents the establishment ?
In this case, some of the spelling errors are pretty basic – Mascarpone , for example, is mis-spelled. In others, it’s the actual cooking techniques themselves, such as “Ballantine” instead of “Ballotine”. And I just find that a bit worrying – for if there’s that lack of attention to details in the menu, I can’t help but think there might be the same lack of attention when it comes to the food.
Signs of the Season
Posted: Sun 11 November, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Festering Season Leave a comment »TV Adverts for perfume, gadgets, books, furniture sales and so on.
It must be the run-up to the Festering Season.
Product Placement
Posted: Mon 29 October, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Cinema, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the weekend, I went to see the new Bond film, Skyfall. There’s been a lot of kerfuffle about the product placement in the film, Bond drinks Heineken, etc. etc. – so among other things I wanted to see if it actually made one jot of difference to the film.
And of course it doesn’t. The Heineken bottle, for example, is only visible for about ten seconds – and even then you don’t get to see the brand name. Sure, you can recognise the label, but the actual brand isn’t there. Which I thought was interesting.
There’s actually a lot of product placement – but I don’t get the current kerfuffle about it, to be honest. Bond films have *always* been a bonanza of product placement. Why scream about the product placement of a bottle of beer, in comparison to – for example – Aston Martin’s deal? Oh no, sorry, that’s ‘classic’, so somehow it doesn’t count. Bond is a label queen, always has been, always will be.
Take a second, think of all the names/brands that you mentally link to Bond…
- Aston Martin
- Lotus
- Walther PPK
- Martini (I know it’s the name of the cocktail, but all the same)
- Bollinger champagne
And that’s just ten seconds thought.
To me it’s interesting, seeing the things that people *perceive* as product placement, versus what’s there as either ‘classic’ stuff, or simply not realised.
In Skyfall, sure, the Sony Vaio brand is all over the place, and not particularly subtle. But there’s all the old favourites too. Audi cars are used in most scenes, and there’s a couple of references to VW Beetles which I’m quite certain aren’t coincidental.
Personally, I find product placement to be less intrusive than normal advertising. Well, at least when it’s done properly – I can think of a few really bad examples of super-obvious tie-ins that were just painful (I, Robot’s obsession with Converse and Audi, for example, and the Cisco overdose on Transformers films) – but for the most part it’s something my brain can gloss over.
Indeed – and again, from a personal perspective – I found that the pre-film adverts, also 90% Bond-related were far more intrusive, and led me to the point of being pissed off with Bond before the film had even started.
Product-placement and tie-ins I can live with. Related advertising is far worse.
Odd Name Choice
Posted: Sun 14 October, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, Commuting, Cynicism, Driving, Thoughts Leave a comment »Travelling on the M1 today, I saw a truck for a company called “Fly By Nite” (a courier company)
Now in my mind, “Fly by Night” (regardless of the spelling) is synonymous with something really dodgy – usually smuggling, and the like.
So it seems like an odd choice for a name, but maybe I’m wrong.
Would you use a company where the name was (in your perception) dodgy?
Advertising Irritation
Posted: Wed 10 October, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cinema, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »A few days back, I whiffed on about awful adverts in the cinema, ones that have a different effect on people than was perhaps expected
This piece of crap – for Coke Zero, as part of the Skyfall marketing behemoth – is a perfect example.
You can just tell that the ad agency- and probably the client- thought it conveyed a sense of humour, something new and fun to be talked about. But in the cinema, it gets no reaction, no laughter, nothing. (Although there is the occasional “Fuck sake”, or similar)
Super-Specific
Posted: Tue 9 October, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Bankruptcy, Cynicism, Thoughts 1 Comment »Another set of thoughts about advertising, I’m afraid. It’s becoming a bit of a theme at the moment – although that probably indicates I’m watching too much TV, or something.
Anyway, in this case the advert in question is for Lloyds TSB Bank, and their Vantage account.
The ad is making a big deal of their 4% AER interest rate. But take a listen, (and/or a look) at the conditions.
- To qualify for that rate, your account must have a minimum balance of £5,000, and the interest rate is payable up to a maximum balance of £6,000
- You have to open an account and have two direct debits set up by the end of October
- Your account must have at least £1,000 paid in each month, and must stay in credit
Indeed, it’s so specific, I wonder whether anyone will actually qualify for this ‘deal’ at all…
Captive Audience – Part Two
Posted: Sat 6 October, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cinema, Cynicism, Domestic, Legal, Thoughts Leave a comment »While at the cinema, there’s one other piece of ‘advertising’ (Well, I suppose it comes termed as adverts, but really “lectures” is a better term) that annoys me excessively.
Those adverts/lectures are the anti-piracy lectures, and the one that really fucking grates is this one…
Now bear in mind, this is being shown at the cinema. Everyone who is watching this advert has paid to see the bastard film – we’re not the ones that need to be preached to about not pirating films.
For these pieces of shit, we – the cinema-going audience – are a captive audience. We can’t fast-forward, we can’t go and get a cup of tea, we pretty much have to watch the fucking thing. And it’s preaching to the people who are (I suspect) the least likely group to be pirating films.
Even worse, the adverts are actually counter-productive. Because let’s face it, pirate copies don’t have these bloody anti-piracy adverts on them. And that, to me, is a point in favour of pirated films.
Captive Audience – Part One
Posted: Fri 5 October, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Cinema, Creativity, Domestic, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the last few months, I’ve been going to the cinema more – the Cineworld Unlimited ticket has it’s uses, and what the hell, I like films. For £15 a month, I’m seeing as many films as I want, and that’s fine. More than one a month, and it’s paying for itself.
The downside of it, though, is the bloody adverts. I don’t know why or how, but cinema advertising is incredibly bad. Trailers are OK (although it all gets a bit samey after a while) but the adverts themselves are just bad.
And it’s interesting too, to see how the audience react to those adverts. I know that agencies do test viewings and so on to gauge reaction, but they really should try going to the cinema and seeing – and to some degree hearing – the reaction there.
Orange currently are one of the biggest culprits. They seem to do one ad per season – Summer’s one was based round the Expendables 2 film, and Autumn’s one is based around The Sweeney. They’re meant to be funny (I think) but they get so dull with repetition, and the Autumn one isn’t getting any reaction at all. (Understandable really, because it’s a) weird and b) shit )
Overall, I think the worst times are where ads try to be funny, and the audience stay stony-faced, not a noise from them. It’s just cringe-worthy.
I don’t know what can be done to fix it – other than lots of viewer research and surveys, and ideally a shitload more creativity – but it’s still interesting about the reactions, or lack thereof.
Not really getting it
Posted: Sat 29 September, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Public Transport, Travel, Weirdness Leave a comment »While looking today at train ticket prices, I came across this…
Now I might be missing something, but if the train will take me 35 minutes, and cost £13(ish), why would I be interested in going by National Express, which would cost me more to travel for three times as long ?
I think someone might’ve missed the point…
Calvin and Hobbes – Sponsorship
Posted: Thu 26 July, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Art, Cynicism, London Olympics 1 Comment »via YorkshireSoul

Calvin and Hobbes on corporate logos and clothing. (c) Bill Watterson, as always.
Brand Ownership
Posted: Wed 25 July, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Marketing, Thoughts 2 Comments »If you ever want to be scared by how few mega-corporations there really are that own the great majority of well-known brands, this image should do it…
You can click on the image to get the full-size version.
It’s more US-centric than UK, but most of the brands involved are international anyway.
Alternative Version(s) of Free
Posted: Mon 23 July, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Technology, Thoughts Leave a comment »While at the cinema this weekend, I saw an advert for the Nokia Lumia – this advert, in fact (although the final price was different)
Most of it’s nothing major, but the last five seconds or so hold the kicker.
“Free, from £15 per month”
And you’ve just got to wonder, how something that costs from £180 a year can be seen as free by anyone except marketers/advertisers.
Olympic Links
Posted: Sat 14 July, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, London Olympics, People, Thoughts 5 Comments »Lord, this is becoming a theme, isn’t it?
Another item in the long list of stupid bullshit that the organisers of the London 2012 Olympics are doing.
In this case, it’s an example of how draconian organisations really don’t understand complex concepts like Freedom of Speech, or t’Internet.
In London2012’s Terms of Use for the website, it says this…
5.a. Links to the Site. You may create your own link to the Site, provided that your link is in a text-only format. You may not use any link to the Site as a method of creating an unauthorised association between an organisation, business, goods or services and London 2012, and agree that no such link shall portray us or any other official London 2012 organisations (or our or their activities, products or services) in a false, misleading, derogatory or otherwise objectionable manner. The use of our logo or any other Olympic or London 2012 Mark(s) as a link to the Site is not permitted. View our guidelines on Use of the Games’ Marks.
(Bold emphasis is my own).
Yep, that’s right. You can’t link to the London 2012 Olympics website if you’re going to say nasty things about them.
Which is pretty fucking ridiculous, when you think about it.
Indeed, the links in this post almost certainly break those Terms. Ah well. Luckily the European Human Rights Act still allows me to say that in my opinion this kind of policy from the London Olympics is draconian bullshit.
Chipless
Posted: Wed 11 July, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, London Olympics Leave a comment »Following on from other thoughts about Olympian Idiocy with regard to branding, rules and regulations, the following one came up today…
Yep – you can’t even get chips, except for McDonalds’ chips. (Or at least McDonalds soggy wet horrible version of chips)
Now, what I want to know is why on earth anyone would actually want to go to a venue/event so Draconian in its branding and obsession with sponsorship ? (Apparently, wearing a t-shirt that features non-Olympics sponsors has also recently been banned in the Olympic Park) If I want to see anything Olympian, I’ll be able to do so from home, wearing what I want, eating what I want, without feeling ripped off, abused, or corraled.
Hmmm, come to think of it, maybe that’s the plan. To stop the transport infrastructure etc. from imploding, maybe all of this is A Plan by Boris to stop people from wanting to go and see the Olympics at the venues?
UPDATED 12/7/12 – According to the Guardian, the ban has now been lifted.
Anchor
Posted: Thu 14 June, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Commuting, Driving, Sweary 2 Comments »I got sent this today, and loved it enough to want to share…
What’s next, I wonder ?
Don’t drive like a tw@ ?
Savings
Posted: Mon 28 May, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, Customer Services, Cynicism, Thoughts, Weirdness 5 Comments »Over the weekend, I was in Sainsbury’s, and saw a fine example of weird savings…
I’m sure I’ve waffed on about this before, but I can’t be chuffed to double-check. (Turns out, July 2009) Anyway, it’s hardly news.
In this case, a 4-pack of 2L Diet Coke bottles is retailing at £6.50. (And let’s not get onto the price-increase side of things – It’s not long ago that that 4-pack was £5) As a 2L bottle on its own is around the £2 mark – I think it was £1.98, but who’s counting? – then £6.50 for four isn’t a bad deal.
Except – except! – that if you pay a bit more attention, they’re also doing “3 for the price of two” on the individual 2L bottles.
So you can get six bottles for £8 ( or £1.33 a bottle) , instead of four for £6.50 ( £1.62 per bottle )
Supermarkets are very strange places when it comes to saving money…
Funding the Daily Mail
Posted: Wed 4 April, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Charm School, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Media, Stupidity 1 Comment »In yesterday’s Daily Mail, a woman called Samantha Brick wittered on wrote an article about how life was so difficult for her ‘because she was so beautiful’. (That’s a link to the story, if you really must read it – but hang on before you do so)
Predictably, t’internet – and Twitter in particular – frothed up about it massively, and the story went viral. Which is exactly what the Daily Fail wanted.
According to their own follow-up story, that original article garnered 4,500 comments. And the ‘top-rated’ comment received 18,000 ‘green arrow’ upticks. (Think of a Green Arrow as being similar to a Facebook Like)
The Daily Fail lives by advertising. The Mail’s Online Ratecard shows that they charge a minimum of £20 per 1,000 advert impressions – and it can be a lot more.
The original story had (at the time of writing the follow-up) received 1.5million hits – that’s a minimum of £30,000 they’ve made on the one story. Of course, the original story/page is still live, and there’s also a follow-up piece from Brick herself. From the Fail…
And today she is sure to provoke another avalanche of strong reaction as she defends herself in a fresh article on MailOnline, insisting that: ‘While I’ve been shocked and hurt by the global condemnation, I have just this to say: my detractors have simply proved my point. Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.’
So to all the people who comment, or even just click through to read the story, I say this.
YOU are the people who fund the Daily Mail. Every single one of you. Now, don’t you feel proud?
Advertising Excellence
Posted: Wed 29 February, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, People, Sweary Leave a comment »Apparently, the ASA has told Sofa King to stop using this advert because of its rude phrasing…
I can’t understand what their problem is…
Marketing, Data, and Predictions
Posted: Fri 17 February, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, Cynicism, Marketing, People, Shopping 4 Comments »Over at Forbes.com, there’s a really interesting article about how companies can make predictions about your life and life-events, based purely on your buying habits.
In this case, the US store Target did analysis on its customers who signed up for their ‘pregnancy club’, and then data-mined their buying habits in the run-up to the birth. Of course, you need something to identify these people by – that’s what ‘loyalty’ cards are for. (Tesco’s Clubcard, Sainsbury’s’ Nectar etc. etc)
And of course it turns out that they could then send out marketing to those people – in one case, knowing a girl was pregnant before her own father did.
It’s always worth remembering, stores don’t give you loyalty cards and ‘rewards’ for nothing. They own all the data about you that the cards give – what you’re buying, why, when, where etc. – and they’re using that for their own profitability.
As David Mitchell said, (and I think I’ve posted it here before) :
When you’re getting something free, you’re not the customer, you’re the product.
Updated : A quick add – this was also something written about in the New York Times Magazine article ‘How Companies Learn Your Secrets‘
CEOP
Posted: Tue 7 February, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Geeky, People, Stupidity, Technology Leave a comment »And on the subject of CEOP, which is (apparently) part of the UK Police, wouldn’t you have thought they could’ve made the acronym into eCOP instead?
As an example, they probably could have called it ‘Exploited Children’s Online Protection’. Or something.
Mind you, it just goes to show how little thought went into CEOP in the first place, doesn’t it?
Internet Safety
Posted: Tue 7 February, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Geeky, Technology, Thoughts Leave a comment »Today is, allegedly, “Safer Internet Day“.
Surprisingly, it’s not being mentioned or promoted by CEOP, the Child Exploitation and Online Protection bunch of muppets Centre. Not a thing.
Wouldn’t you think that – if CEOP were actually any fucking use at all – they’d support and cross-promote this Safer Internet Day? Or even have created the concept themselves.
Shock, Horror
Posted: Wed 6 April, 2011 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Hypocrisy, Offensive Repetition, Pedantry, People, Thoughts 3 Comments »At least two different media sites are today carrying the story about the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) telling clothing company Jack Wills (ever heard of them? I hadn’t) to not continue publishing their current catalogue until certain images are changed.
The story’s on the BBC here – and on the scumrag Daily Mail here.
Only one of the two stories manages to also show the image in it’s full “offensive” version. Guess which one?
Yep, you got it – good old Daily Fail, making sure its readers know precisely what they should be offended by.
[Oh, and if you do want to know what the image is, look below the ‘More’ link]
Advertising
Posted: Sun 26 December, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Festering Season Leave a comment »Out with the ads for Perfume, Chocolates and Food.
In with the ads for Kitchens, Holidays, Sales and Diets.
Know what? It must be Boxing Day.
Which Deal ?
Posted: Fri 10 December, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, People, Shopping, Thoughts 7 Comments »Being a tad addicted (still) to that Tropicana Orange and Lime juice at the moment, I’m aware of which supermarkets have it on special offer at the moment. It’s odd, it always seems to be on some kind of “deal”.
Anyway, at the moment
- Supermarket One has it at 2 for £3
- Supermarket Two has it on 3 for £5.
I found it interesting, because Supermarket Two’s offer instinctively looks like a better deal. And I don’t know why.
Logically, Supermarket One is actually the better deal. But I had to think about it to be sure.
What do you think? Which one looks the better offer? (I know which one is the better one, obviously – I’m interested in perceptions rather than fact)
Signage
Posted: Tue 2 November, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Weirdness 1 Comment »I noticed this on the new DVD player today…
So yep, new cheap-ass DVD player. But what’s that security sign on the right ?
Yep – a sticker telling me to not microwave the sticker / box.
Is that something I’m supposed to do to a DVD player, then? Stick it in the microwave to make it work?
Note : Yes, I do know it’s just a generic sticker, and doesn’t matter whether it’s on a microwave or any other device. It just made me smile
Abusive Billboard
Posted: Thu 28 October, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Design, Domestic Leave a comment »I’m not a massive fan of the advertising world’s “Chip Shop Awards“, although they’re certainly good for making you think.
One particular case in point is the advert in the image below…
The text from the advertising agency is :
The Brief : Every year, New Zealand police deal with over 70,000 cases of abuse. But many more cases go unreported. We want to raise awareness for Women’s Refuge, and decrease the number of unreported cases of domestic abuse in New Zealand.
The Solution : Our idea is to create a completely unbranded billboard that makes women feel as though they are being verbally abused while driving. The success of this idea relies on the number of complaints it receives from the public. We then follow it up with a reveal, showing people that while they’re quick to respond to a billboard, they stay silent when the same thing is happening in homes all over the country. We provide a call to action for women to speak up against abuse by calling Women’s Refuge
To me, that’s genius. Love it.
Synapse Phones
Posted: Tue 26 October, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Business, Geeky, iPhone, Technology Leave a comment »If you’re tired of run-of-the-mill “standard” smartphones, it looks like this may be something that’s of interest.
Synapse Phones will take your order for a customised smartphone (running Android 2.2) and ship it in Q1 of 2011
Think about for what you use your smartphone and what you will do with it. For example if you are someone who loves to take thousands of pictures, you can choose the 12MP camera and a xenon flash for taking pictures at night or under bad lighting conditions or if you want to store your whole music collection on your smartphone just choose a high amount of memory.
Seems like a good idea – and the prices aren’t epically unreasonable either. I hope it works out as a good business.
Closed
Posted: Sun 17 October, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business 1 Comment »via Matt Verso on Twitter, I love this notice…
It’s worth clicking on the image to see the full glory of the notice.
Visibility
Posted: Fri 24 September, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, People, Weirdness 1 Comment »One of the more bizarre sights at AdTech this year was this…
Very, very yellow – and very odd.
But what is the point of camouflage trousers in bright yellow? The mind boggles – I want to be concealed, fit in with the forest, but also bright yellow. Maybe it’s for hiding in fields of oil-seed rape.
Quack
Posted: Tue 14 September, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Animals Leave a comment »Bad advert placement…
Sad, but it does make me laugh.
New Scam/Phishing Email
Posted: Thu 22 July, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Geeky, People, Security, Stupidity Leave a comment »Yesterday I noticed a new spam / scam / phishing email that seems to have appeared.
It purports to come from Amazon, and tells you that your order has been despatched, along with some links that are clickable. The links actually go off to a russian site, but I’ve no idea what that does, and have no intention of finding out.
The biggest clue that it’s a spam/scam are
- the prices are all in dollars (which is a bit of a giveaway for us in the UK)
- you haven’t ordered anything from Amazon
- it’s got a link to “see the ordered items”, rather than just listing them in the mail
- the email address it’s been sent to isn’t the one you’ve got listed with Amazon
But all told it’s one of the better spam/scam/phishing-type emails of the moment. Best to publicise it and be aware of it.
Winning Writing
Posted: Mon 21 June, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, News, Writing Leave a comment »I’m a bit late to the game on this one, but I love it anyway.
Who wouldn’t want to read more after reading this opening paragraph?
Just awesome.
Football
Posted: Mon 7 June, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Travel, Weirdness 1 Comment »Every so often while driving I hear a promotion on Radio One for the football coverage on Radio Five Live.
It’s of no interest to me whatsoever, but always grabs my attention because of the first line of the promotion. It actually says “Football on Five Live”, but I keep on hearing it as “Fook All on Five Live”.
I’m just a posh boy
Posted: Thu 22 April, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Creativity, Cynicism, Politics Leave a comment »Saw this today and loved it. Now if only we could get the Conservatives to use it…
eTyres
Posted: Tue 20 April, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, Customer Services, Domestic, Driving, Reviews(ish) 1 Comment »So following on from yesterday’s discovery of a flat tyre, I booked in (and paid in advance) through eTyres.co.uk to get it fixed at home. eTyres offer their service at home, which is ideal when you’ve got a flat.
However, the motto of this entire story is that if you’re going to have a puncture and use eTyres, don’t do it on a weekend. Despite being able to book and order online, for some fuckforsaken reason they can’t organise things ’til the Monday morning. And at that point they’ve also got to deal with all the people who’ve booked on the Saturday.
I did try to change the tyre myself so I could get down to the local tyre place, but the wheelnuts were on so tight I couldn’t even move the sodding things. Insurance-wise I was going to be lowest of the low priority calls, and they couldn’t even give me a time expectation. So all told that left me pretty much at the mercy of eTyres.
Having made the booking online yesterday evening, they finally arrived at 5.30. Yep, a whole day. So much for the speed of booking via the internet etc. etc.
In the end they’ve done a decent job, and for a fairly decent price. Not as great as they make out in their marketing, but not bad.
But if you need a swift service that’ll actually get the job done, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend eTyres to anyone.
Unbelievable 2
Posted: Fri 19 March, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, News Leave a comment »Just a short filler, this – but YouTube’s chief counsel has written a post about YouTube’s current battle with Viacom about hosting ‘illegal’ videos.
The best bit is this :
For years, Viacom continuously and secretly uploaded its content to YouTube, even while publicly complaining about its presence there. It hired no fewer than 18 different marketing agencies to upload its content to the site. It deliberately “roughed up” the videos to make them look stolen or leaked. It opened YouTube accounts using phony email addresses. It even sent employees to Kinko’s to upload clips from computers that couldn’t be traced to Viacom. And in an effort to promote its own shows, as a matter of company policy Viacom routinely left up clips from shows that had been uploaded to YouTube by ordinary users. Executives as high up as the president of Comedy Central and the head of MTV Networks felt “very strongly” that clips from shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report should remain on YouTube.
That’s pretty stunning, however you look at it.
Creative
Posted: Fri 29 January, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, Creativity, Cynicism, Thoughts 2 Comments »When I went to see “Avatar”, I got in in time to see some of the adverts before things started – not just the trailers and ads, but the localised ones that show while people are coming in.
I don’t know how much they cost – they’re just basic flat ads with not much happening – but one caught my irritation all the same. It was for a company called Selesti, and was just a plain white page with blue text saying “We make websites”, and some contact details.
It was pretty much the dullest ad in the set – an achievement in itself – and really surprised me. For a company that’s supposed to be all creative and whizzy, the ad didn’t speak of any of that. It actually conveyed “We paid for this, but really couldn’t be arsed to do anything with it”. Even if they’d used “We Write Websites” it would’ve been better, and would’ve at least implied the connection to www. addresses/domains. But no, “We make websites”.
I wonder how much business Selesti have gained through this ad at the cinema? Even more, I wonder how much they’ve lost…
Advertising
Posted: Tue 12 January, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism 2 Comments »[A response about an advert I’ve just seen]
Here’s the thing – If you need a pregnancy test that says “Pregnant” or “Not pregnant” on a display because “does it have a blue line or not?” is too complex a concept, then you’re really not ready to potentially be a parent.
Start of a new year
Posted: Sat 2 January, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism 2 Comments »TV Adverts have a way of letting you know when Christmas and New Year are over and done with.
From yesterday, it stopped being all about perfume, CDs and gift ideas and instead became all about
- Holidays
- Stopping Smoking
- Losing Weight
January is the time for resolutions and booking holidays – can’t you tell?
Christmas Done, Easter Coming
Posted: Mon 28 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Business, Cynicism, Festering Season 3 Comments »Yet again, you can tell that the Festering Season is over and done with, the fucking Easter Eggs are in the shops!
Scrapers
Posted: Wed 23 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Business, Creativity 3 Comments »On occasion, I just wonder whether my brain works slightly differently to “most peoples”. Today has contained one of those occasions.
If you were running a car-hire company, would you put an ice-scraper in each car during the winter months?
I know I would – having today had to go and buy a new one. (I’ve got one in the normal car, of course – but not in the hire one. Fuckers)
I’m sure that the excuse for not doing so would be “because of the cost” when people take the scrapers for themselves afterwards. Me, I’d put some branding/advertising on them, and job done – I don’t know how much return business you’d get, but every winter those people would be seeing the name of the hire company, and be reminded of it.
Enterprise Car Hire, that’s yet another bloody trick you’re missing.
Competition Prize
Posted: Tue 22 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »I just got a promotional email from Travelodge, with the tag line “Win a weekend at a Travelodge”
I wonder what the second prize is. Two weekends?
Tiger Woods and Accenture
Posted: Mon 14 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, News, Thoughts 2 Comments »First of all I have to say that I really don’t give a tin shit about Tiger Woods, who he has (or hasn’t) shagged, or anything else about the situation. Not my business. Don’t know him, will never know him, don’t really care what he does with his life, wife, others, or anything else.
However, I did find it funny today that Accenture have decided that in light of his activities and revelations, Tiger Woods is no longer ‘the right representative’ for them.
For those who don’t know, Accenture used to be Arthur Andersen, a global outsourcing and consultancy company.
In my experience, consultancy companies come in all full of themselves and how great they are, fuck you up all over the place, charge extortionately for the privilege, and then screw off with the money, leaving a shitpile of fuckuppery behind them.
As such, I’d say that Tiger Woods right now is the perfect person to represent them…
Twilight Sequel Cancelled
Posted: Fri 27 November, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism Leave a comment »(via YorkshireSoul)

I Totally Agree
Ha
Posted: Thu 19 November, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Sweary Leave a comment »
Well, can you?
I promise, it wasn’t me that wrote this. I just wish it had been.
Not as Advertised
Posted: Tue 17 November, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Norfolk Leave a comment »In Norwich, a new venue called “Open” has – um – opened.
The URL for the website is Open247.org.uk – implying that Open is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
However, if you look at the opening hours (and it’s not easy to find them) you get this…
The opening hours are as follows:
- Monday – Saturday 9am-10pm
- Sunday 10 – 9pm
Which means it’s not actually 24/7 at all, is it? Although I suppose (at most) 13/7 doesn’t have quite the same ring to it…
Fuck You, Tesco
Posted: Thu 8 October, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season Leave a comment »
In an early front-runner for “Smuggest advert of the Festering Season”, the fuckstick bastards at Tesco have dropped a blinder. Not just smug and insanely early, but as sexist and shit as it’s possible to be.
A rough version of the text (it’s engraved in my brain having seen the cocking advert once) goes as follows…
Toys.
Come December 25th there’ll be Action Man for boys and Barbie for girls.
And yes, we know it’s only October. But Christmas comes quickly round here.
Smug overbearing materialistic shit-flogging sexist fuckbag cunts. Fuck off with your shite, you weaselly tossbags.
iEverything
Posted: Thu 8 October, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season 2 Comments »
The latest marketing ‘trend’ seems to be to emulate Apple by branding any given product with an “i” at the start, in the theme of iPod, iPhone, iDontCare etc. etc.
The one that boggles my brain more than usual in the current adverts is the Babyliss iTrim. It’s a fucking razor. Nothing iconic, nothing trendy. A fucking electric razor. That’s it.
Of course, we’re now in the advertising run-up to the Festering Season, so it’s all go for adverts about shit like this, so I’m sure it’s not going to be the last product this year with an i at the start of the name.
It’s still bullshit though. Sorry, iBullshit.
Product Placement
Posted: Sun 13 September, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, News, Thoughts 1 Comment »When it comes to product placement and the fact it’s now going to be allowed in programmes on commercial channels in the UK , I have to say that I’m actually more surprised it’s taken this long for it to happen.
I’ve been expecting it to come in since ITV started announcing that they were losing advertiser revenue – and the ‘credit crunch’ must have been another perfect excuse as well.
I don’t actually have much of an issue with product placement – we see a fair amount of it anyway, with the amount of imported American programmes already viewed. (And that’s been a neat little loophole on the entire product placement thing ’til now anyway) Think about the American drama programmes where just about everyone seems to have an iPhone and/or use Apple laptops – let alone the bigger things like clothing labels, car brands, (the truly awful ‘update’ of Knight Rider excelled at this one, for obvious reasons – but that also goes to show it’s been happening for a *very* long time) gadgets etc., and even down to what the actors eat and drink.
I think I’ll have more of an issue with the next logical step along this line, where programmes are ‘sponsored’ (i.e. paid for) by a company, which then plugs as many of its wares in one show as it can do. That ‘development’ will take some time of course – but I’m sure it’ll be on the cards.
10:10 – Realistic Chance?
Posted: Fri 4 September, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Domestic, Green, Thoughts 9 Comments »My initial thoughts on the Guardian’s 10:10 Campaign were pretty non-committal, but yesterday I read Charlie Stross’s full-size and well thought-out piece, so I thought I’d do something similar to his post, but based on my own life and/or carbon footprint, which might help fill out my own thoughts and ideas on it.
So, using The Guardian’s own “How to reduce your carbon emissions” list, here we go… (Click on the more link below)
Sweary Of The Day
Posted: Fri 4 September, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Driving, Sweary Leave a comment »I know, it’s pimping an ad almost certainly meant to be a viral anyway – but still, this ad from Volkswagen made me laugh…
Clouds and Silver Linings
Posted: Mon 31 August, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »I don’t know if it’s just me, but the recession of the last year does seem to have had one (slightly) positive effect this weekend – the number of TV adverts for “Bank Holiday Weekend Sales” appear to have dropped through the floor.
After all, there’s now no :
- MFI
- Sofa Warehouse
- Allied Carpets
- [several others I can’t currently recall]
who always used to do that kind of sale.
Of course, there’s still bloody DFS, (Although they just seem to have one big year-long sale) and B&Q and Homebase are both doing “15% off everything” weekends, but still it seems like there’s nowhere near as many Bank Holiday Sales this year.
Mind you, it could also be because I’ve hardly seen any TV over the last week or so…
Bank Holiday Holiday
Posted: Sun 23 August, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism 1 Comment »In the run-up to next Monday’s Bank Holiday, I’ve now had four emails from companies, all along the lines of “There’s still time to book a Bank Holiday weekend break“.

The text of the advert - yes, they saved it as an image...
While I understand that they’d rather be fully booked than (to pick a number out of the air) 75% full, promotional emails like these still make me think the companies are desperate for business.
Would you book a last-minute break on the basis of an email like this?
Gold Scam
Posted: Wed 19 August, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Thoughts 3 Comments »Sometimes, adverts on daytime TV are worthy of comment and/or incredulity. Today’s example covered both in one thirty-second slot.
It was an advert for some kind of “Money for your gold” organisation – yes, they had a web address on-screen, but I’m not going to promote the scam any more than I have to.
Anyway, the basic premise was as follows :
- Contact us, we’ll send you a “Free” postal packet insured for up to £2,500
- Send us your gold
- We’ll send you a valuation on it
- If you accept it, we’ll send you the cash.
- If you don’t, we’ll send you back your gold. (Honest, guv)
Now that just screams “Scam” to me – there’s so many healthy options for “lost in the post” excuses, plus (even if it’s legit) a nice little side-earner if one were to (for example) pawn the gold,have cash for it – always more than the “valuation” – and it’s in your account ’til you have to pay it to either the customer or back to the pawn-shop.
I’m tempted to see if the company directors are Derek and Rodney Trotter…
Inglourious
Posted: Mon 17 August, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Stupidity Leave a comment »Personally, I’m really not bothered about seeing the new Tarantino film, “Inglourious Basterds“. (Don’t blame me for that spelling – it drives me crackers too) I’m not even convinced I’ll bother when it comes out on DVD.
What is very funny at the moment though is that various places seem to be having utter conniptions about advertising it because of the “naughty word”.
I’ve seen a few adverts on pre-watershed TV (i.e. before 9pm) that are just calling it “Inglourious”, with the “Basterds” covered in bullet-holes. (I’m not quite sure how bullet-holes etc. are acceptable pre-watershed, but the word Bastard isn’t)
On radio, they’ve been reduced to simply referring to it as “the new Tarantino film”.
The marketing department for the film itself must be having fits about the fact that half the time, advertising and media can’t even say the name of the film. It’s a really silly state of affairs.
Pseudo-Activism
Posted: Fri 7 August, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Thoughts 1 Comment »If you’re a regular user of Twitter or Facebook, you can’t avoid seeing ‘campaigns’ of one sort or another. Facebook has infinitely more of them – there seems to be a campaign for everything from “Bring back Smarties in round tubes” to “Free [name person of choice here]”
Twitter ‘campaigns’ seem to be more about changing your ID picture. They went green in support of Iranian elections earlier, and now there’s one about Freeing Gary Mckinnon that adds a “Free Gary” (as opposed to charging for him, one supposes) bar to the Twitter avatar.
Personally, I don’t get involved in these campaigns at all. If I wanted to do so, I’d go to something like the ePetitions section at Number 10 (Not that they get any more attention, but at least it’s being done in the right place) rather than the frankly pointless ones elsewhere.
Because the thing is, Facebook et al may be “the voice of the people”, but governments and (in general) businesses don’t really give a shit about what people say. There are exceptions to the rule, of course – such as Cadbury’s bringing back the Wispa bar – but there’s no way they’d have done that without the expectation of making a significant amount of profit out of it.
Iran didn’t give a shit about how many people’s Twitter icons went green. Number 10 didn’t give a shit about the anti-war protests and marches.
Facebook et al like these campaigns, because they add to the marketing profile of the people who sign up for them. That’s it. You sign up to these things – say, “Bring back Smarties” and Rowntrees will start to know how many people extra might buy a “limited edition” round Smarties tube, and thus make profit for them.
And that’s all it is.
PR Words to Ban
Posted: Tue 4 August, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Creativity, Thoughts Leave a comment »Just a quickie, but I love this TechCrunch article about “10 words I would love to see banned from press releases”
Thankfully I don’t get too many press releases, but I see enough of them online that I have to agree with pretty much all of what’s been said in this one…
How not to do it
Posted: Sat 25 July, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Customer Services, Cynicism, Geeky, Security, Stupidity, Technology, Toyota IE | Tags: ian corbett, toyota ie Leave a comment »This post has been deleted, on the request of Ian Corbett, Marketing Manager of Toyota Ireland, and his legal advisers.
For more explanation, see here.
Think 25 – A response
Posted: Tue 7 July, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism 11 Comments »I emailed Sainsbury’s yesterday, asking about why they’d introduced the Think 25 policy. This is what I (eventually) got back…
Thank you for your email asking why we have adopted the think 25 policy for the sale of alcohol.
Although there has been no change in the law for buying and selling alcohol, the policy is promoted by local authorities, health departments and the police to limit the consequences of selling alcohol to underage people. As cashiers now have a personal responsibility by law they must take this very seriously.
I am grateful for you taking the time to write to us and allowing me to explain the background to the policy.
So – despite all their waffle about it being related to ‘all age-related items’, it’s actually only related to the sale of alcohol. And it doesn’t actually explain why they can’t just check for ID that the purchaser is, you know, over 18.
In short, “Think 25” is utter, utter bollocks. What a shocker.
Yuck
Posted: Fri 12 June, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Weirdness Leave a comment »(via Scalzi)
I’d never even heard of this before, and thankfully it’s not around any more.
But just the concept of Raspberry-flavoured Coke makes me shudder…
Ross Kemp
Posted: Tue 2 June, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »I notice on Sky that they’re doing a programme/series called “Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates“.
Now, can we just get “Ross Kemp held to Ransom”, make it a public appeal (in the vein of JustGiving or whatever) and see just how many people actually want to see the tosspot get released.
Mind you, I suspect more people would pay to see the twat tied up and in fear of his life than would pay to see him freed and/or on TV again.
Shark vs. Octopus
Posted: Wed 13 May, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »(via Chris)
An early contender for “Shittest Film of 2009” (No, not Wolverine) – “MegaShark vs. Giant Octopus”
The trailer, mind you, does have to be seen to be (dis)believed…
XKCD
Posted: Fri 17 April, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising Leave a comment »Related to today’s XKCD cartoon, I love the text that goes with the image…
Somewhere out there is a company that has actually figured out how to enlarge penises, and it’s helpless to reach potential customers.
You know, I’d really never thought of it like that.
Promotional
Posted: Sat 4 April, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Customer Services, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »Going by the number of promotional emails they’ve sent me this week, I guess MalMaison hotels are crying out for more business.
I’m a bit surprised, to be honest – I’ve been a fan of the Malmaison range of hotels for a number of years now, although (and I guess this proves the point of why they’re doing the promotions) I don’t use them often. Mind you, some of that is due to the fact we don’t do a mass of travelling at the moment, and I’ve been working in Norfolk rather than all over the place.
Then again, if I do work away from home, I’d have a tough job of justifying a MalMaison stay at £140+ per night to the taxman/accountant/auditor, rather than using (for example) a Premier Inn or Travelodge for half that…
So I suppose that yes, they are crying out for the business. But all the same, just this week I’ve received from them :
- A promotion for spring stays at a discounted rate
- A promotion for discounted Sunday nights
- A promotion for discounted Monday nights
So, Malmaison (and their marketing department) – There is such a thing as looking desperate, you know.
Nothing But
Posted: Thu 5 March, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism Leave a comment »Just out of interest, how can a certain TV music channel have a section called “Nothing But Music” that still has advert-breaks every fifteen minutes?
Or is that just me?
Rebrand
Posted: Wed 4 March, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism 3 Comments »Of all the strange adverts at the moment, one I really don’t get is why Bounty kitchen towels have rebranded to “Plenty”.
I must be missing something on the brand-recognition game..
Spam Honesty
Posted: Wed 18 February, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, D4D™ Leave a comment »Now there’s a title I never thought I’d write.
All the same, I can only be impressed at a spam comment received recently here, whose content read…
Hello! It’s spamer’s programm. Please delete this topic to let me know, what this forum/guestbook is moderated!!!
Now fair enough, it’s about as literate as most spam emails, but at least it was working exactly as advertised.
Nottingham Snow
Posted: Mon 2 February, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Cynicism Leave a comment »(via Mike TD)
Yet again, Nottingham shows its class in the snow. (Screengrab from the market square webcam)
Kebabs != Healthy
Posted: Tue 27 January, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Health, Thoughts 1 Comment »Now, hands up, who on this planet ever thought a kebab might be a healthy food?
No-one? Thought so.
So how the hell does this qualify as news anywhere on the planet, let alone on the BBC?
On a tangent, however, I do find it quite interesting/surprising that (to quote from the story) :
Six kebabs were found to include pork when it had not been declared as an ingredient. Two of the six were described as Halal – food or drink permitted for Muslims, which must not contain pork.
Meerkats
Posted: Sat 3 January, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Animals 1 Comment »Much as I don’t usually promote insurance comparison websites, I do like the way that CompareTheMarket has also now done the spoof Compare the Meerkat.com website.
It’s linked to a TV advert, but well, it made me chuckle.
26th
Posted: Fri 26 December, 2008 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season Leave a comment »
So, there go the adverts for Jewellery and Perfume, here come the ones for Holidays, Sales and stopping smoking.
It must be Boxing Day, and Christmas must be over and done with for another year.
Demographics and Commercial Radio
Posted: Thu 20 November, 2008 Filed under: Advertising, Customer Services, Thoughts 1 Comment »Interesting piece in the Guardian today about Commercial Radio, and why they should stop whining about Chris Moyles.
I listen to Radio 1 when I’m driving – if I’m not listening to the radio, I’ve got a CD going instead – because I find Radio 2 to be ineffably dull, I’m not into Radio 3, and when driving I find Radio 4 just doesn’t do it for me. So Radio 1 it is. There are certain presenters on there that make me turn it off (as the article says) but for the 45 minutes on the way to and from work, Radio 1 is my station of choice.
As for commercial radio, I just can’t stand it – and again, for exactly the reasons listed in the article. The (station-defined) limited playlists mean there’s no variety, and the constant repetition of banal ads is just awful. In fact, while driving I’d be hard-pressed to think of anything worse than having to listen to commercial radio…
Disabled
Posted: Wed 12 November, 2008 Filed under: Advertising, Customer Services, Cynicism 1 Comment »Travelling to work this morning, I found myself sitting behind a van for a company called GarTec who supply platform lifts for disabled people. (You know, the little boxes you see in offices, so people in wheelchairs – sorry, people with mobility issues – can go between levels)
Only the slogan on the van was
Gartec – Disabled Platform Lifts
And the first thing I wondered was “Why would anyone sell platform lifts that don’t work?“





































