Pillows

I snore – always have, likely always will. I hate it, but it’s one of those things. Maybe it’ll change as and when I lose some weight, but honestly, I’m not convinced.

Anyway, over the years I’ve always had firm pillows on the bed, and tend to sleep with my neck crunched as high as possible. Some of it’s to do with reducing snoring (i.e. rather than sleeping laying on my back etc.) but also it’s just how I’m now comfortable. Basically, the higher and more solid the pillows, the better.

When I moved into the new house, I got some new pillows, and went for the hefty memory-foam ones. I thought they’d be great. Oh wow, was I wrong. While it was OK when going to bed, the memory foam would mould itself into the strangest shapes, and be generally really unpleasant by halfway through the night, which would mean I woke up and had to move the pillows, change them round, or just generally do something to them. I assume my head gets hot in the night, meaning the foam moves and loses support, or something. Anyway, vile.

I’ve stuck with them for a fair while – probably for too long, if I’m honest – but they haven’t improved, and I never got used to them. But Lord knows, I’ve tried.

After Christmas, I finally gave in and bought some new ones – at long last. Overfilled, firm, but not memory foam. Wow, what a difference. I mean, I still wake up during the night and so on – insomnia is business as usual – but at least I’m not fighting weird and solidly squelchy pillows. This makes me happy.

(And yes, I know, this is likely to be of no interest to anyone else. I don’t care)

 


Back to Work

Today I’m back in the office. I’ve had the Christmas week off, and do feel (generally) better for it, although a lot of the time taken has been involved in doing other work and so on. But such is life.

I’ve caught up on some sleep – being able to sleep for what inevitably turn out to be my core hours is always a good thing.

I don’t know why it is, but my core hours for sleep (as I’m sure I’ve said before) are 7am to 9am. With usual work, I don’t get to have that sleep at all, and this year most of my weekends have also involved getting up rather than taking those couple of hours.  This last week though, I’ve been sleeping through (pretty noteworthy in itself) and I do feel measurably better for it.

I don’t know why I sleep best in those two hours. General wisdom is that sleep is deepest at around 3am, but that’s usually one of my more disturbed periods of sleep. But those two hours, if I can get those then it’s a real difference to my mindset.


Tired

For whatever reason, today I am Tired.  It’s almost certainly linked to what must’ve been a crap night’s sleep, although I don’t particularly remember being disturbed/awake/not-sleeping. But I am Tired all the same.

I really don’t like days like this – and they’re not helped by the whole greyness of the day outside – as I find it really hard to get started, and/or to get anything relevant done at all. Most frustrating.

Still, it’s been a good weekend, which makes things better. I got a load of domestic twuntery done on the Saturday – shopping, laundry, all the usual guff – and saw Gravity at the cinema. (well worth it, if you wanted to know) Sunday involved seeing the parents, and a bloody good lunch at the Three Crowns in Askett, which I’d recommend (although it’s awesomely busy, due to being consistently bloody good, by all accounts) and finished off by coming home to the smell of an excellent slow-cooked chilli I did for meals this week.

Hopefully I’ll perk up a bit post-lunch, but so far the signs are not positive for that to happen…


Wavering – Updated

Following on from yesterday’s post about my – well, my subconscious’s – wavering about going to the Peter Gabriel gig at the O2.

I didn’t go.  I wanted to, I intended to.

I got home, had some lunch, had tons of time, felt like crap and had a quick nap. Not common, but not unusual.

I woke up five hours later, just as the concert was due to start. I’m about 75-90 minutes drive from the O2.

Piss.


Midweek

This week and next, I’m out at fairly large events held mid-week. In London.  I must be mad.

This week was, of course, the Neil Gaiman event at CHW in London, which resulted in me getting home at about half-midnight(ish) having opted for getting the train back to Milton Keynes and then driving the final bit, rather than driving and parking in Central London.

Next week will be seeing Peter Gabriel at the O2, which I’m really looking forward to. I suspect I’ll be getting home at about the same time, although this time I’ll be driving it instead of relying on public transport.

On the downside, I find that nights like that take it out of me now for the following night as well. I’m not sure if it’s a sign of getting older, or just that I’m out of practice – either way, my sleep/insomnia on the Wednesday night after the Gaiman event was even worse than usual, despite being more knackered.

Although with this kind of thing, it’s also making me even more pleased that I’m not doing that commute into Cambridge any more!


An Attack of the Insomnia

Monday night was one of the worst night’s sleep I’ve had in ages. It may be connected to the new contract starting the next day, but I don’t think that was anything in particular.  New contracts don’t usually affect me in that way, and my insomnia appears more to just kick itself up a gear when it’s most inconvenient, rather than in relation to stress and the like.

I’ve written about it before, so I won’t bore with the details. Suffice to say it drives me crackers, but such is life.

My insomnia comes in few different flavours, although obviously all of them share the end result of “bugger all sleep” and “feeling like crap”.

The main version is ‘merely’ disturbed sleep. Sometimes it’s actually disturbed sleep – and just about anything wakes me up/disturbs me at that point. It’s been known to be ticking clocks, snoring cats, mosquitoes, and [something clicking in another room]. The other option – which is admittedly far weirder – is swearing I’ve had a disturbed night, but actually being asleep and dreaming of having disturbed sleep. The end result’s the same, but the latter is definitely far further down the ladder towards lunacy.

On other occasions it’s more about getting to sleep, where my brain simply won’t shut up, and rocks around at about 100mph. (Figuratively speaking, of course)  Again, on occasion I can dream that I’m doing this, but it’s more common that I actually am just awake, with a brain bouncing around on weird and stupid thoughts, with no let-up and no chance of getting to sleep.

The third one – much less common – is where I simply can’t get comfortable, and can’t stay still long enough to drop off. There’s no explanation for it, it just drives me crackers.

The worst – and this is the one from Monday night – is where variants two and three combine, at which point it’s almost worth just giving up completely. I can’t get comfortable, my brain won’t shut up, and it’s all just crap.  However, it’s also very weird for one reason – at some point, it’ll just stop. I think of it like a game of body Tetris. I have to find the one (sleeping) position that actually works, and the challenge is finding that position. It’s usually only once I’ve completely admitted defeat that it finally happens. And the final choice is always a simple change, but one I haven’t wanted to make. (for whatever reason – usually because I can’t believe something that stupid will be the successful one)  Usually it’s occurred when sleeping somewhere new – such as on a friend’s sofa – and then involves merely changing the direction I’m lying in. (i.e. if I’m lying down with my head on the right-hand end of the sofa, I’ll move so it’s on the left-hand end, and go to sleep in minutes)

On Monday it was even simpler. I turned over, and somehow settled into the right position. It was as though my brain and body admitted defeat, and just gave up.  I don’t know why, or how – all I know is that it was three a.m., I looked at the clock, said sod it, turned over, and the brain/body relaxed into sleep. That easy.

I hate insomnia when it hits me like that. I can live (to a greater or lesser degree) with the disturbed sleep variety. I can handle (ish) the Racing Brain variant.  The Restless Bastard one always gets me, and annoys me more than anything else. The combo of Restless Bastard with Racing Brain is just antisocial and vile.

 


Tired

Yet again, it’s been a long old week. I’m not complaining, because it’s also been a good week, but man alive, I’m shattered right now.

The week started normally, allbeit with some very bad nights’ sleep.  It then involved (another) trip up to Manchester to visit one of the partner companies, and get a load of stuff done. I went up there on Wednesday evening, ready for two full days in the office.

Thursday night I went out with colleagues from the office, ended up getting back to the hotel by about 1.30am, and eventually to bed about an hour after that, and up at 6am.  That was followed by another full working day, and then visiting an old friend (a long-term friend, rather than an old one per se) which was great, but again meant not actually crashing out ’til 2ish. I slept insanely badly, went downstairs at 5ish. read until 6, then slept on the sofa for another hour and a half or so.

Today I’ve driven home, and got back about 4pm.

I don’t know why I’m sleeping so badly in general – I’m no more stressed than usual, there’s no real reason for it, it’s just one of those “wonderful” periods of insomnia that hit me every so often. But right now, as a friend used to say, “In every single plane of existence right now, I’m knackered”.