D4D

Improving sarcasm for thirty years

Signage

At the moment I seem to spend far too much of my available non-work time on the road, so I notice stuff around me.

Over the last couple of weeks one of the motorway gantries on my route (the ones with speed cameras on) has been out of action, so there’s been a small – but noticeable if you pay attention – yellow sign saying

Camera not in use

Today though, I noticed that it has changed, and now says

Camera now in use

And lo, there we go, seeing it flash on speeders.

It just struck me as interesting, the simple alteration of one letter that means so much, and changes the whole thing – and I wonder how many people notice/realise.

Going Round in Circles

Yesterday I did – yet another – circumnavigation of the M25 in one day. It’s quite a childish thing, allbeit not something I do on a whim, but sometimes it amuses me.  The main difference this time was that I did it anti-clockwise, which for some reason I do less often.

Yesterday was a drive from home to parents in Oxford, collect them and drive them to Dover (they’re off on a holiday) and then back round to the M1 to go home.  It also involved a trip into the office – that’s a post for another time – so all told I covered about 350 miles in the day.

Anyway, all well and good, and I’m still alive. Just currently snowed with work-related stuff, hence the paucity of postings here.

Inherently Useless

On my commutes, I regularly find myself bemused by the whole thing of performance cars – things like Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Aston Martins, AMG Mercedes and the like.

Don’t get me wrong, I do like the look of a lot of them, as well as the idea of fast cars. I love seeing them, and some of the stuff about them, the hand-made elements and so on. But here in the UK I just don’t really see the point of them.

I get that some of it is about showing off, that you can afford a fast car (as well as the petrol etc.) and fair play. Personally I don’t value myself by my possessions – large or small – and I don’t define myself by that perceived value, or that of the brand/marque that’s been chosen.

But regardless of whether you’ve got a shitty old Mk1 Ford Fiesta (or any other ‘low-end’ vehicle) or a £200,000 Mercedes SLS AMG, you’re legally limited to 70 mph. 80 at a push. And the run I do on a daily basis is populated with speed cameras and police, so it’s really not worth speeding past that – it’ll become a very expensive hobby, for sure.  So what’s the point of a car that can do 200mph, if it’ll never get there?

Sure, there’s other places you can speed, where there’s less cameras. But even then if you do get caught, it’s going to be expensive.

And then you get to the fuel consumption. That SLS gets 21mpg on the combined cycle – and I bet that drops like a stone if you put your foot down.

Great, you’ve got the money to make it feasible for you. I’m happy for you – not impressed, and not bothered, but it’s not for me, it’s for you.

Mind you, if you own that £200,000 car, it must really steam your piss to be overtaken by a shitty 13-year-old Saab that’s worth less than a hundredth of what your car cost…

Miscalculation

People always say that if there’s one thing computers can do, it’s count.

That really doesn’t explain this particular status message…

Download number two of oneWhich is a bit of a worry

Renewal

This month is renewal month for my car insurance. Always iniquitous, this time they’re really taking the piss.

After two years with the same company, with no claims, and no need to contact them at all, they’ve *raised* my premium – and not by a small amount. For no good reason that I can see, they’re trying to charge me no less than £30 *a month* more.

Amusingly (if you find sheer profiteering cuntishness to be amusing) they’ve also quoted me via an insurance comparison website at *half* what I’m currently paying.

Needless to say, I’ll be moving. And I’m really looking forward to the call where I tell the current set of shitbags why I won’t be renewing with them.

Submitting Writing

As usual, one of my projects for this year has been about writing more. (Not that you’d know it from D4D of late, but that’s different, more about having time than anything else)

Anyway, I’m doing more along the way, but also trying to send it out into the world, so I’ve submitted bits to a couple of competitions recently.

Nothing major, and if I’m honest I don’t expect anything to come of them. But at least I’m writing, and making the effort.

Twinned Outfits

As regular readers know, I’m really not great at relationships. The whole concept of being with one person for decades leaves me cold – let alone the way some people seem to become almost symbiotic – perhaps even parasitic – beings, who can’t be separated, can’t be apart at all.

The ones that disturb me the most are the ones who also wear the same type of outfits, or at least the clothing colourschemes. I’ve seen quite a few over the recent weeks, some in my village and some around where I work.

I don’t know why it creeps me out as much as it does – although it also does so when parents make their children (and particularly twins) wear the same outfits. But I do, it does, whatever.

I suspect it’s to do with what I see as the giving up of identity, the willingness to give up things I see as most valuable.

All very weird, but such is life, I suppose. Horses for courses, and all the piss.

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