Going at Last
Posted: Thu 31 December, 2009 Filed under: Thoughts 1 Comment »At last, 2009 is on its way out.
For us, it’s really not been a great year. There’s been a lot of hassle and crap along the way for both of us, and hopefully 2010 will be a lot better.
I’m not pinning all my hopes on it or anything – but there is some hope and some planning in place to make ’10 a better year than ’09.
Equally, I’m not going to witter on about it being “the end of the Noughties” or whatever. Partly because it’s not, but primarily just because it’s not relevant. It’s a new year, but it’s just another day. As per the previous post, I need to put some work into making ’10 a better year, but in some cases (work, for example) it’s more about just staying in the same place, and letting some consistency/constancy stay there.
2009’s been chaotic and hard. I just want 2010 to be a bit easier, a bit more structured.
Not An Emergency
Posted: Wed 30 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, News, People, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »As always, I despair of people’s idiocy when it comes to calling 999. (And regular posts and Twitters from Reynolds reinforce this too)
In this case, a woman calling 999 because her cat has been playing with string for two hours. I have no idea whatsoever what makes this an emergency in anyone’s mind (or what passes for a mind in this case) but I do think that anyone who thinks it’s an emergency deserve a punishment served up by a stun-gun.
Christmas Done, Easter Coming
Posted: Mon 28 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Business, Cynicism, Festering Season 3 Comments »Yet again, you can tell that the Festering Season is over and done with, the fucking Easter Eggs are in the shops!
All Done
Posted: Sun 27 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Festering Season Leave a comment »Yep, that’s Christmas over and done with for another year.
Well, another nine months, ’til it all starts coming in to the shops again.
Sleeping Hound
Posted: Sat 26 December, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Domestic Leave a comment »This is a perfect example of why sometimes it can be really funny to have Hound around, despite how fucking annoying she can be on other occasions…
Yes, fast asleep, leaning out of the basket. No good reason.
And despite the reflection of the camera flash from her eye, she was asleep. Bizarre beast.
Fixed It
Posted: Fri 25 December, 2009 Filed under: General Leave a comment »One of my guilty pleasures this year has been the site There, I Fixed It, which showcases some of the most awesome bodges and hacks around.
It’s also a spectacular showcase of the inventiveness (if occasional stupidity/weirdness) that people exhibit towards fixing problems.
Snow
Posted: Thu 24 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Norfolk, Weather 1 Comment »I didn’t get round to posting this before, but this is indicative of the amount of snow we had in our part of Norfolk.
And yes, I know, people in America and Canada (and anyone else who gets serious snow on a regular basis) is pissing themselves laughing right now at how little it takes for the UK to go to pot.
Bye, Borders
Posted: Wed 23 December, 2009 Filed under: Business, Norfolk, Thoughts Leave a comment »Apparently, today is the last day of trading for the Borders bookstores.
I went past the Norwich branch yesterday, and that’s already closed. It’s a sad sight, a bookshop filled with empty sets of shelving.
Scrapers
Posted: Wed 23 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Business, Creativity 3 Comments »On occasion, I just wonder whether my brain works slightly differently to “most peoples”. Today has contained one of those occasions.
If you were running a car-hire company, would you put an ice-scraper in each car during the winter months?
I know I would – having today had to go and buy a new one. (I’ve got one in the normal car, of course – but not in the hire one. Fuckers)
I’m sure that the excuse for not doing so would be “because of the cost” when people take the scrapers for themselves afterwards. Me, I’d put some branding/advertising on them, and job done – I don’t know how much return business you’d get, but every winter those people would be seeing the name of the hire company, and be reminded of it.
Enterprise Car Hire, that’s yet another bloody trick you’re missing.
Competition Prize
Posted: Tue 22 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »I just got a promotional email from Travelodge, with the tag line “Win a weekend at a Travelodge”
I wonder what the second prize is. Two weekends?
Shortest Day
Posted: Mon 21 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic 2 Comments »So hello, Winter Solstice. Yes, it’s the shortest day of the year.
In London, that means that today the sun rises at 8.04 and sets at 15.53, a total day of 7hrs 49m 41 seconds.
Tomorrow, it rises at 8.04 and sets at 15.54 , and the pattern is set.
By the 27th, the total day will be 7hrs 51m 29 seconds.
(All information courtesy of this site)
Happy, happy day.
Crunch – Enterprise Car Hire
Posted: Sun 20 December, 2009 Filed under: Customer Services, Domestic, Driving, Travel 1 Comment »Because of the damage to my car (and that damn fence) I’ve had to make a claim on the car insurance for the first time. Of course, it’s going to cost me the no-claims bonus and so on – and result in having to note it if I change insurer for the next few years – as well as the excess, but it’s going to be better to pay out £300 than the fuck-only-knows-how-much for both car repairs and fence reconstruction.
So far though – and as with previous things where I’ve used their recovery services – I’ve been really impressed with Tesco Insurance. Having had the accident, the recovery vehicle was with me within an hour as promised.
On Friday, having called them at 9am to register the claim itself, I was told that the car would be taken to their recommended bodyshop – I did have the choice of using my preferred one, but then it’s fucking about with estimates etc. – within four hours, and that the courtesy car people (Enterprise car hire) would be in touch also within four hours.
By 10am, the garage had called me, explained they’d need to get a different company to lug the car, and the different company had also called me to arrange collecting the car. By 12 the car was on the way to the garage on the back of a flatbed. Efficiency personified.
The only cloud so far has been Enterprise bloody car hire. The promised callback didn’t happen by 1pm. Fair enough, it was a shitty and busy day, but they’re a big company, you’d think someone would’ve been able to call, if only to say “We’re really busy, but will get back to you”. I called Tesco insurance back, and they got hold of Enterpriuse, and promised a call back again within two hours.
And still nothing. I ended up calling them at 4pm, and still not speaking to the right place “because they were too busy”. They finally called back at 4.30 to say “We’re not going to get to you today”. And that was it, so far as the Diss office was concerned. They weren’t open on Saturday, so *shrug*. We might be able to get out to you on Monday. Maybe.
I did sort out going to the Norwich office to collect one on Saturday, but that fell through for other reasons. So now I’ll be getting picked up to get to the Norwich office, rather than Diss. Frankly, I’ve no confidence in the Diss office at all, and have explained that to both Tesco Insurance, and the Norwich office.
We’ll see what happens on Monday, and whether Enterprise manage to sort themselves out for this one.
Crunch 2
Posted: Sat 19 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Travel, Weather 3 Comments »So – following on from yesterday’s post about crunching the car, this is what I did to it…
Fucked wheel, flat tyre, buggered headlamp and bumper, knackered plastic bodywork, and a bundle of crunched connections and wires.
I’ve still not had any news about how much the repairs will cost – I suspect that’ll be Monday’s news.
Crunch
Posted: Fri 18 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Norfolk, Travel, Weather 1 Comment »Last night, as may have come to people’s attention, it snowed in Norfolk. Quite heavily in fact, with a heavy wind that meant the snow was horizontal in places.
It was also effing cold – in snow? Who’d have thought? – which meant that the road was slippy.
Coming home, I started slipping at one crossroads, and slowed down as a result. I knew the next bit was dodgy at the best of times – seen the results of several accidents there already – so I was down to about 15mph. The car slid, and rather than turning went straight on, up the verge, and took out the fence of the house that’s on the corner. (Again, that fence has been taken out at least four times to my knowledge – so I’m the fifth) It slid along the fence, popping out the wooden fence panels, and hitting the concrete fence posts.
It wasn’t a hard impact – just inertia and momentum really – and didn’t even trigger the airbags. But the entire front quarter is stuffed, I’ve lost a headlamp, front nearside panel’s gone, and the bumper’s stuffed too. It’s going to take some work to fix.
The insurance company I use (Tesco) have been really good so far. The recovery truck was out within the hour they said, and today I’ve started the claim, and just about everything has run smoothly. There’s one exception to that, but that’s a separate post.
More mortifying was the fact that someone had called the police – I don’t know if it was one of the houseowners, or someone driving past, but still, up they pulled, blue lights and all. Probably for the best, as the corner was still dodgy and slippery (the police car came up at about 15-20mph too) but all the same, pretty mortifying. Still, it means that as well as having my first “proper” accident, I’ve also had my first breathalyser test – blowing an absolute zero, which wasn’t a surprise – and given all my details to them about the crash. An interesting experience, to be sure.
So the car’s stuffed – but thankfully it appears to be mainly the bodywork, not the chassis or anything. And it could’ve been so much worse. After all, I’m not hurt, no-one else got hurt, and really it’s just a car and a fence.
More Shit on the News
Posted: Fri 18 December, 2009 Filed under: General Leave a comment »via Failblog
Timing and Communication
Posted: Wed 16 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, News, Thoughts 2 Comments »The news today about the military buying 21 more Chinook helicopters “for use in Afghanistan” is – to me – a bit weird.
Fair enough, they’re being purchased, and that will help with troop movements and the like. Except even the most conservative estimates say the first ten won’t actually be “in theatre” (i.e. being used) until 2012 at the absolute earliest, and more like 2013/2014.
All of which doesn’t quite add up with the previous statements from Brown, Obama et al that the troops will start being pulled out of Afghanistan in – um – 2011.
So I wonder which date is more likely to be the correct one. My cynicism says it’s more likely to be the latter one.
Parking
Posted: Tue 15 December, 2009 Filed under: People | Tags: Y209WGF 2 Comments »Turning into a bit of a theme, this.
The excuse for this (I talked to the car-park attendant) was “I’ve got to have space to get out of my car”. The driver wasn’t disabled, didn’t have mobility issues, didn’t have any hindrance to being able to get in and out in a normal space.
Tiger Woods and Accenture
Posted: Mon 14 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, News, Thoughts 2 Comments »First of all I have to say that I really don’t give a tin shit about Tiger Woods, who he has (or hasn’t) shagged, or anything else about the situation. Not my business. Don’t know him, will never know him, don’t really care what he does with his life, wife, others, or anything else.
However, I did find it funny today that Accenture have decided that in light of his activities and revelations, Tiger Woods is no longer ‘the right representative’ for them.
For those who don’t know, Accenture used to be Arthur Andersen, a global outsourcing and consultancy company.
In my experience, consultancy companies come in all full of themselves and how great they are, fuck you up all over the place, charge extortionately for the privilege, and then screw off with the money, leaving a shitpile of fuckuppery behind them.
As such, I’d say that Tiger Woods right now is the perfect person to represent them…
Crossing to Nowhere
Posted: Mon 14 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Driving, Norfolk, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »While out shopping for some bits yesterday, we came across this crossing in a carpark in Norwich…
Yep, that zebra-crossing actually ends up in a hedge. No pathway, no throughfare, nothing. Just cross the road, walk into a hedge.
Bizarre
Take Responsibility
Posted: Sun 13 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, News, People, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »Apparently, the EU is caling for a volume limit to be put on all MP3 players. A report last year warning that up to 10m people in the EU face permanent hearing loss from listening to loud music for prolonged periods.
Stories like this drive me mental. People need to take responsibility for their actions – not be told everything they can and can’t do. Fine, put a warning on the boxes (or even on the display when the volume goes past a certain level, as my Sony MP3 player already does) that loud volume for long periods fucks the hearing. But let people decide, and take that responsibility.
After all, these things are (or at least bloody well should be) down to personal choice. It’s not the MP3 players decision, it shouldn’t be a government/EU decision. If someone decides that their music needs to be at absolute top volume all the time, fine, they’ll have issues in later life. Let them make the decision.
111,111
Posted: Sat 12 December, 2009 Filed under: D4D™, Driving 1 Comment »Yes, I really am this sad…
And yes, I was parked up at the time (as the speedo needle shows) but I did have to pull in to a car park just so I could take the photo.
Scratch List
Posted: Fri 11 December, 2009 Filed under: Driving, Travel 2 Comments »So, following on from yesterday’s post, a list of the scratches on the car. (Just for laughs, it’s nowt special)
- Rear nearside wheel arch – scraped down a wall in Devon three days after I got the car. (Stuck on a single-track road, reversed, didn’t know the length/width of the car. Scratch)
- Slight dent on rear bumper – on the same trip in Devon, not knowing the length of the car and reversing in a car-park.
- Rear nearside passenger door – scraped on the bumper of another car. (Yes, that’s the one in the multi-storey car park in London)
- Rear driverside doors – scraped on the tight entrance to the car park at Little Ouse Moorings
- Another dent on rear bumper – reversed into in Reading while pulling out of a parking space
- Rear driverside door – the new scratch from yesterday, courtesy of Mr M 521 BNH
Along the way there’s also been the damage done by two collisions with deer, and the smashed driver-side mirror when got whacked by someone coming the other way.
And today it’s in the garage for a service and replacement handbrake cable. *sigh*
Christmas Cheer
Posted: Wed 9 December, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Creativity, Festering Season 1 Comment »(via FailBlog) This has to be one of the best (and darkest) uses of Christmas Lights yet seen…
The work of a fantastically sick mind.
I Love it.
Resources and Consequences
Posted: Tue 8 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Green, Thoughts 2 Comments »Following on from yesterday’s post about Global Warming, Claire commented
Yes, the planet will happily survive, but are you implying that we shouldn’t be going out of our way to prevent the millions of deaths that will be caused by Climate Change in the very near future?
And to be honest, I don’t know.
On my more cynical days, I wonder whether Climate Change isn’t just another case of Darwinism and/or that Gaia hypothesis. We’re working so hard to save everyone, but does the planet have enough resources to support all the people that are saved? And if we don’t have the resources in the first place, what’s the answer?
As an example, one of Comic Relief’s big aims this year was about tackling malaria. According to Comic Relief, Malaria kills a child every 30 seconds – so the money raised for this project was primarily aimed at providing mosquito nets, and thus stopping those children from being infected in the first place. But for all those people who now survive, rather than die of malaria (or other disease of choice) will they take up extra resources? Will we see Uganda (and Africa in general) in droughts and famines in ten years time because there are so many extra mouths to feed than there used to be?
If Climate Change and Global Warming are going to be as world-changing as they’re purported to be, planetary resources are going to be reduced from their current levels anyway. So how will we plan on feeding/watering/housing everyone?
I don’t know the answers – I don’t even pretend to know the answers – and this is just shit I think about on cynical days.
Global Warming
Posted: Mon 7 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Green, Thoughts 4 Comments »The Copenhagen UN Climate Change Conference starts today, with delegates from 192 countries and leaders of 100 countries planning to attend.
The irony that none of the media seems to be mentioning is that the massive majority of those delegates and leaders will be flying in – thus contributing to the carbon emissions they’re all purportedly wanting to cut. Oops.
The thing that annoys me about the entire “Global warming” thing is this – whatever we do, the planet will survive. Saying that we’re going to destroy the planet is – to be blunt – simply egotistical bullshit. Even a nuclear war wouldn’t destroy the planet. What people actually mean when they talk about global warming is “we might wipe ourselves off the face of the planet”. And that’s a bit different to the overly-emotive “destroy the planet”.
Higher temperatures and higher levels of CO² etc. will have an effect, certainly. And it might damage or destroy “civilisation as we know it”. But those things will really just create different environments, and different ecospheres that evolution will deal with if technology doesn’t. The planet won’t die – but it will change, as it has done for billions of years previously. (The Gaia Hypothesis is one interesting theory on this)
Yes, we might end up with a new Desert Age. It might swing back to a new Ice Age. It might do one and then the other. But it won’t destroy the planet.
Even in all these changes, the odds are that humanity won’t be wiped out. (unless it all becomes an event similar to that/those which killed off the Dinosaurs – yet another example of “this stuff has happened before”) It’ll be reduced, almost certainly – but I suspect there’d still be pockets of humanity going through, restarting, evolving, and dealing with new living conditions and environments.
Even if we were to go to entirely sustainable ‘green energy, we don’t know what the long-term effects would be. We don’t know what happens if – for example – we pull energy from the sea (wave turbines/power). That energy isn’t magicked out of nothing – there are systems that exist, and we simply don’t know what long-term effect any of our supposedly green plans might have.
This doesn’t mean I think we should all leave lights on all the time and consume as much power as possible – but equally I don’t think we should worry about it as much as politicians think we should. Sure, things will change – but the oil supply is likely to run out well before the greenhouse effect or global warming get us. At that point, who knows? We might have stretched our way to using nuclear power (which I personally think is still the only real alternative to oil/carbon-based energy) but somehow I doubt it – the politicians will biffle on about global warming and reducing carbon emissions without actually doing anything that’ll replace the things that generate those carbon emissions.
Organised for Festering
Posted: Sun 6 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Festering Season, Getting Organised Leave a comment »
Today, I get to post off the menu choices for the entire family for Christmas Day.
Yes I know, the Scrooge of the family somehow gets to do the organisation of Christmas Day. Bizarre, but true. And it’s been this way now for three damn years.
In some ways I don’t mind, to be honest. It’s epically demoralising getting the sodding menus in August/September, and then dealing with who’s coming, who’s not, what’s going on, where we’ll be going, and getting back everyone’s menu choices. It also appeases the control-freak side of my nature, because it means I’ve got it sorted, I know what’s going on, and I know it’s all done.
This year it involves both Herself’s family and mine, which is a new one. My lot are coming up and staying with us over the Festering Season. Fortunately my father and brother are pretty much as Scrooge-esque as me, which’ll help. But still, it’s going to be fairly fraught. (More cynical souls than I would say that the Festering Season was always thus)
For now though, at least it’s all organised. I can go back to being a grumpy old Christmas-loathing bastard – not that that’s a change : just because I’ve organised the sodding day doesn’t mean I don’t still fucking hate it.
Next year, someone else can do it.
Destination Handbrake
Posted: Sat 5 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Driving Leave a comment »Yesterday, the handbrake on the car loosened significantly. It’s still working, but it’s pretty much at the limit now, rather than where it was.
Looks like I’m going to need to book it in for a service fairly quickly come Monday. For the moment the handbrake’s working OK – but this is obviously the warning sign that things are going to get worse sometime soon. So, time to get it fixed before that happens.
Always a joy, this car servicing/fixing lark…
Designer Pissoir
Posted: Sat 5 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Art, People, Weirdness Leave a comment »Lucky swine that I am, I came across these yesterday. They’re wrong in just so many ways…
Hard to believe someone’s designed something like this, isn’t it?
Unbelievable
Posted: Fri 4 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, Weirdness Leave a comment »I saw a trail for this TV programme (on BBC Three, no less) earlier this week, and assumed it was just a massive piss-take where I’d missed either a) the run-up or b) the punchline.
But no, apparently it’s real. A programme called “Move like Michael Jackson“.
And if your instant thought (like mine) was “Well that’s not going to be difficult, is it?” then you’re going to Hell too.
See you there.
Relocation Irritation
Posted: Fri 4 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »I caught an old episode of Channel 4’s “Relocation Relocation” last night, and yet again my old problem with the programme reared its head.
In short, while I get that some people do need to do the “two properties” thing, why do so many of the ones on this programme have such tight budgets?
I’m sure that most of them end up getting sane, and buying just one place in the end. But it seems to me that most of the people on there are really taken with the idea of “a little Pied á Terre” in London while living “out in the country” for weekends until they look at the practicalities of it. I’m sure it’s a situation that works for some people (for example, I could sort-of see myself doing it, if I were getting paid enough and working in London while still being here in Norfolk) but it’s a nightmare to do. Yes, it’d be nicer than staying three or four nights per week in a cocking Travelodge, but at the same time would it be any cheaper? I doubt it.
Personally I’d rather have a nicer/larger place out in the country – and if I did have to be working in London (or wherever) then I’d just use a hotel or a B&B and get a decent bulk-buy rate.
But maybe I’m just more sensible (or perhaps just less mad) than the people on Relocation Relocation.
Jesus Venn
Posted: Thu 3 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism Leave a comment »I can’t now remember where I saw this first, but I loved it…

December
Posted: Wed 2 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Festering Season, People, Photography 1 Comment »
It seems like loads of people around us spent last weekend putting up all their fucking manky house decorations for the Festering Season. some of them really do have to be seen to be believed.
In particular, two houses on my regular commute have gone hysterically over the top. I’m going to have to stop off some time this week on the way home and see what I can do about getting a couple of photos.
The TV’s full of shitty ads about perfume, CDs, chocolates, and fucking scumshit bastard Iceland.
And to top it off I’ve just had a spam email of “Festive Offers from Tesco Credit Card”. Fuck off, you dirtbags.
Well hellooooo, December.
Places to avoid
Posted: Tue 1 December, 2009 Filed under: News, Travel Leave a comment »If you were planning on going to Nottingham this coming weekend, this story is a pretty good explanation of why you really should change plans…








