Going at Last

At last, 2009 is on its way out.

For us, it’s really not been a great year. There’s been a lot of hassle and crap along the way for both of us, and hopefully 2010 will be a lot better.

I’m not pinning all my hopes on it or anything – but there is some hope and some planning in place to make ’10 a better year than ’09.

Equally, I’m not going to witter on about it being “the end of the Noughties” or whatever. Partly because it’s not, but primarily just because it’s not relevant. It’s a new year, but it’s just another day.  As per the previous post, I need to put some work into making ’10 a better year, but in some cases (work, for example) it’s more about just staying in the same place, and letting some consistency/constancy stay there.

2009’s been chaotic and hard. I just want 2010 to be a bit easier, a bit more structured.


Ideas for 2010

Well it’s New Year’s Eve, so it’s time for me to have a few thoughts and ideas for 2010.

As always, there’s a number of ideas and plans coming together at the moment, but whether they’ll all come into fruition or not is something only time will tell. But for now this is the list of what’s in my head, and we’ll see what happens. I’m trying to keep it down to four or five categories, just to simplify things a bit.

  • Photography : I really want to make some progress on the photography side of things, work towards selling some bits if possible. I’ve got some contracted work to do for the charity I worked with a while back, and from there see what progresses.
  • Writing : Again, I want to get to the point of having some stuff actually done and finished. I planned to do this in ’09, but that hasn’t worked out. There’s a few bits that have been started, but I need to finish at least a couple of them and work that way.
  • Work : I’ve made the commitment to stay in the current job throughout 2010 – allbeit with the “unless everything turns to shit as a result” proviso – which will keep the bills being paid and me in general work. But I still want to get some of the outstanding projects and ideas into some version of reality.
  • Social Life : Over the last couple of years (really since moving to Norfolk) I’ve been utterly shit on the social side of things. So I plan to spend some time getting back in touch with friends around the place, and seeing them etc.
  • Money : For me, 2009 wasn’t a good year financially, and want to spend 2010 getting back into a place that I’m happy with. Currently I’m not happy with the situation for debt, and I want to get a significant dollop of all that paid off if at all possible.

And that’s it. There’ll be more detail over time, I’m sure – and there’s also stuff on the domestic side – but that’s the rough plan. It’ll do for now.


In The Office

So yes, I ended up working between Christmas and New Year. Mind you, that’s nothing new – I’m hard-pressed to think of the last time I was off between those days. I’m sure it’s happened, I just can’t remember when exactly.

The thing is, I actually quite like this time of year for getting work done. The roads are quiet (or indeed fucking empty) so it’s easy to do the journey. The office is quiet, as most people have opted for taking time off instead. I can get a bundle of outstanding stuff done, because there are comparatively few people hanging over me waiting for other stuff to get fixed, or urgent “Oh shit!” problems coming up.

I don’t mind this time of year in general, actually. It’s the winding-down time, and the time to start preparing for whatever the hell’s coming up in the next year. Taking stock, making plans, all that shit.

So I don’t mind being in. I’ve got stuff done, stuff fixed, and got some ideas and thoughts for 2010. And that makes me happy.


Not An Emergency

As always, I despair of people’s idiocy when it comes to calling 999. (And regular posts and Twitters from Reynolds reinforce this too)

In this case, a woman calling 999 because her cat has been playing with string for two hours. I have no idea whatsoever what makes this an emergency in anyone’s mind (or what passes for a mind in this case) but I do think that anyone who thinks it’s an emergency deserve a punishment served up by a stun-gun.


Back to Work

It appears that I’m one of the few people to have gone back to work today.

The roads this morning were just about empty – although I still ended up in a four-car parade following some cunt driving at 25mph along a 60mph road, because no-one ahead of me was prepared to overtake, and the gutless piece of crap I’m currently in courtesy of Enterprise is a sack of shit that would’ve taken six years of road to get past safely.

I don’t mind, to be honest – it makes for an easy drive, and while there are other people in the office, it’s quiet enough that I can get a bundle of stuff done. Works for me, anyway.


Christmas Done, Easter Coming

Seen on TwitPic via Twitter

Yet again, you can tell that the Festering Season is over and done with, the fucking Easter Eggs are in the shops!

Easter Eggs on the shelves at Tesco

Tesco, you utter utter bastards.


All Done

Yep, that’s Christmas over and done with for another year.

Well, another nine months, ’til it all starts coming in to the shops again.


Sleeping Hound

This is a perfect example of why sometimes it can be really funny to have Hound around, despite how fucking annoying she can be on other occasions…

Hound, asleep, leaning out of her basket

At this point she was fast asleep...

Yes, fast asleep, leaning out of the basket. No good reason.

And despite the reflection of the camera flash from her eye, she was asleep. Bizarre beast.


Fixed It

One of my guilty pleasures this year has been the site There, I Fixed It, which showcases some of the most awesome bodges and hacks around.

It’s also a spectacular showcase of the inventiveness (if occasional stupidity/weirdness) that people exhibit towards fixing problems.


Snow

I didn’t get round to posting this before, but this is indicative of the amount of snow we had in our part of Norfolk.

The snow we had in Norfolk

Snow Depth

And yes, I know, people in America and Canada (and anyone else who gets serious snow on a regular basis) is pissing themselves laughing right now at how little it takes for the UK to go to pot.


Bye, Borders

Apparently, today is the last day of trading for the Borders bookstores.

I went past the Norwich branch yesterday, and that’s already closed. It’s a sad sight, a bookshop filled with empty sets of shelving.


Scrapers

On occasion, I just wonder whether my brain works slightly differently to “most peoples”. Today has contained one of those occasions.

If you were running a car-hire company, would you put an ice-scraper in each car during the winter months?

I know I would – having today had to go and buy a new one. (I’ve got one in the normal car, of course – but not in the hire one. Fuckers)

I’m sure that the excuse for not doing so would be “because of the cost” when people take the scrapers for themselves afterwards. Me, I’d put some branding/advertising on them, and job done – I don’t know how much return business you’d get, but every winter those people would be seeing the name of the hire company, and be reminded of it.

Enterprise Car Hire, that’s yet another bloody trick you’re missing.


Competition Prize

I just got a promotional email from Travelodge, with the tag line “Win a weekend at a Travelodge”

I wonder what the second prize is. Two weekends?


Crunch – Enterprise Day Two

Following on from Friday’s fuck-ups with Enterprise Car Hire, we’d organised for the Norwich office to come and collect me between 10 and 11am, bringing me back to the Norwich office to do the paperwork and collect the car to drive home. Simple, you’d have thought. But no – because Enterprise Car Hire are a bunch of abysmally slack useless bastards.

Just before 10, they called to say that because of the condition of the roads (which were OK for the main roads, but a bit dodgy on back roads) they wouldn’t make it for 10-11, and would instead come over between 2 and 3. Fine with me, at least I knew what was going on.

Except, well, that’s not what they actually did. Instead, they gave the job back to the useless fuckbags at the Diss office. (which I’d explicitly asked to not happen, as Diss office were – um – useless fuckbags) The people at the Diss office decided to bring a car to me – why they did this and used up two of the three staff at Diss, rather than coming over to pick me up, as Norwich had planned to do is a mystery – and supposedly left Diss at 1pm.

After lots of phone calls to the Diss and Norwich branches, the car eventually turned up at 5.15. If the Diss office of Enterprise Car Hire are to be believed (and that’s a bit of a leap) it took them four and a quarter hours to travel 20 miles.

I’ve got the car for two weeks for sure, and we’ll see what happens after that. I can’t wait to see how Diss fuck up the returning of the car. Still, so long as they don’t charge me for whatever they fuck up, that’ll be fine.

As it is, I’m just glad I’ve finally got the car. It means at least I’ll be able to get in to work tomorrow, and sort out the stuff that’s waiting for me there.


Shortest Day

So hello, Winter Solstice. Yes, it’s the shortest day of the year.

In London, that means that today the sun rises at 8.04 and sets at 15.53, a total day of 7hrs 49m 41 seconds.

Tomorrow, it rises at 8.04 and sets at 15.54 , and the pattern is set.

By the 27th, the total day will be 7hrs 51m 29 seconds.

(All information courtesy of this site)

Happy, happy day.


Crunch – Enterprise Car Hire

Because of the damage to my car (and that damn fence) I’ve had to make a claim on the car insurance for the first time. Of course, it’s going to cost me the no-claims bonus and so on – and result in having to note it if I change insurer for the next few years – as well as the excess, but it’s going to be better to pay out £300 than the fuck-only-knows-how-much for both car repairs and fence reconstruction.

So far though – and as with previous things where I’ve used their recovery services – I’ve been really impressed with Tesco Insurance. Having had the accident, the recovery vehicle was with me within an hour as promised.

On Friday, having called them at 9am to register the claim itself, I was told that the car would be taken to their recommended bodyshop – I did have the choice of using my preferred one, but then it’s fucking about with estimates etc. – within four hours, and that the courtesy car people (Enterprise car hire) would be in touch also within four hours.

By 10am, the garage had called me, explained they’d need to get a different company to lug the car, and the different company had also called me to arrange collecting the car. By 12 the car was on the way to the garage on the back of a flatbed. Efficiency personified.

The only cloud so far has been Enterprise bloody car hire. The promised callback didn’t happen by 1pm. Fair enough, it was a shitty and busy day, but they’re a big company, you’d think someone would’ve been able to call, if only to say “We’re really busy, but will get back to you”. I called Tesco insurance back, and they got hold of Enterpriuse, and promised a call back again within two hours.

And still nothing. I ended up calling them at 4pm, and still not speaking to the right place “because they were too busy”. They finally called back at 4.30 to say “We’re not going to get to you today”. And that was it, so far as the Diss office was concerned. They weren’t open on Saturday, so *shrug*. We might be able to get out to you on Monday. Maybe.

I did sort out going to the Norwich office to collect one on Saturday, but that fell through for other reasons. So now I’ll be getting picked up to get to the Norwich office, rather than Diss. Frankly, I’ve no confidence in the Diss office at all, and have explained that to both Tesco Insurance, and the Norwich office.

We’ll see what happens on Monday, and whether Enterprise manage to sort themselves out for this one.


Crunch 2

So – following on from yesterday’s post about crunching the car, this is what I did to it…

The result of my sliding into the fence

The result of my sliding into the fence

Fucked wheel, flat tyre, buggered headlamp and bumper, knackered plastic bodywork, and a bundle of crunched connections and wires.

I’ve still not had any news about how much the repairs will cost – I suspect that’ll be Monday’s news.


Crunch

Last night, as may have come to people’s attention, it snowed in Norfolk. Quite heavily in fact, with a heavy wind that meant the snow was horizontal in places.

It was also effing cold – in snow? Who’d have thought? – which meant that the road was slippy.

Coming home, I started slipping at one crossroads, and slowed down as a result. I knew the next bit was dodgy at the best of times – seen the results of several accidents there already – so I was down to about 15mph. The car slid, and rather than turning went straight on, up the verge, and took out the fence of the house that’s on the corner. (Again, that fence has been taken out at least four times to my knowledge – so I’m the fifth) It slid along the fence, popping out the wooden fence panels, and hitting the concrete fence posts.

It wasn’t a hard impact – just inertia and momentum really – and didn’t even trigger the airbags. But the entire front quarter is stuffed, I’ve lost a headlamp, front nearside panel’s gone, and the bumper’s stuffed too. It’s going to take some work to fix.

The insurance company I use (Tesco) have been really good so far. The recovery truck was out within the hour they said, and today I’ve started the claim, and just about everything has run smoothly. There’s one exception to that, but that’s a separate post.

More mortifying was the fact that someone had called the police – I don’t know if it was one of the houseowners, or someone driving past, but still, up they pulled, blue lights and all. Probably for the best, as the corner was still dodgy and slippery (the police car came up at about 15-20mph too) but all the same, pretty mortifying. Still, it means that as well as having my first “proper” accident, I’ve also had my first breathalyser test – blowing an absolute zero, which wasn’t a surprise – and given all my details to them about the crash. An interesting experience, to be sure.

So the car’s stuffed – but thankfully it appears to be mainly the bodywork, not the chassis or anything. And it could’ve been so much worse. After all, I’m not hurt, no-one else got hurt, and really it’s just a car and a fence.


More Shit on the News

via Failblog


Being Trusted

With the new job I’m actually finding myself in a fairly serious position of trust and responsibility – quite weird, for having only been with the company for two months.

For example, I’m completely responsible for the security of the data, a lot of which is seriously sensitive. That’s fine, I’ve been there before with other sets of information, but the sheer scale of this one is what makes it a bit intimidating. The stuff I’ve inherited from my predecessors is – to be polite – a bit shambolic, with what looks like a lot of “Oh, that’ll do” workarounds. So I’m getting to fix these things, and that can be a bit stressful.

This week has been (and still is, to some degree) a high point on the stress levels, because of two big jobs.

First, I’ve had to change all the encryption methods on the site, to bring it into accordance with some industry guidelines. That means de-crypting the existing data, re-encrypting it with the new method, then de-crypting it all again to make sure it matches the first set of de-crypted data. For 75,000 records. Suffice it to say, there were *lots* of backups in place, so I could roll it all back whenever.

Second – and this is due to be happening either tonight or tomorrow – we’re moving all the database stuff over to the new server. Again, having a seperate server for the database is a requirement of the industry standards but means a lot of work – killing the site, taking backups, copying them to the new server, and restoring the data. We could have used replication to copy one database to t’other, but to be honest I’m happier with the slower method which I’m familiar with in this case, rather than one I haven’t needed to use before.

Along the way, I’m also now a key-holder for the office – something else I don’t actually mind, and have done plenty of times before – but again it’s that responsibility, that trust which I still find surprising. I shouldn’t, but I do.

The final piece of this has started this week, as we’ve now got a new developer on board so I’m now in charge of a team of three developers, having to set up all the infrastructure for development areas, change control, training, documentation, everything. I’m responsible for two other people’s jobs as well as my own. That’s the scary bit – in the case of the new developer, I’ve been the one to interview him, I’m the one who’s said he’ll do the job. If I’m wrong, then he’s going to go, and won’t necessarily have anything to go to.

It’s all a bit of a leap into the – what? It’s not unknown, I’ve run small teams before, and run other businesses before I got back into IT and Web stuff. But it’s a big leap for me all the same, from where I was working last year as sole developer for one of the local councils, and now I’ve got a team, a set of plans, and a whole shitload of work.

Weird the way things work out sometimes, isn’t it?


Timing and Communication

The news today about the military buying 21 more Chinook helicopters “for use in Afghanistan” is – to me – a bit weird.

Fair enough, they’re being purchased, and that will help with troop movements and the like. Except even the most conservative estimates say the first ten won’t actually be “in theatre” (i.e. being used) until 2012 at the absolute earliest, and more like 2013/2014.

All of which doesn’t quite add up with the previous statements from Brown, Obama et al that the troops will start being pulled out of Afghanistan in – um – 2011.

So I wonder which date is more likely to be the correct one. My cynicism says it’s more likely to be the latter one.


Parking

Turning into a bit of a theme, this.

Yep, right over two spaces

Yep, right over two spaces

The excuse for this (I talked to the car-park attendant) was “I’ve got to have space to get out of my car”. The driver wasn’t disabled, didn’t have mobility issues, didn’t have any hindrance to being able to get in and out in a normal space.


Tiger Woods and Accenture

First of all I have to say that I really don’t give a tin shit about Tiger Woods, who he has (or hasn’t) shagged, or anything else about the situation. Not my business. Don’t know him, will never know him, don’t really care what he does with his life, wife, others, or anything else.

However, I did find it funny today that Accenture have decided that in light of his activities and revelations, Tiger Woods is no longer ‘the right representative’ for them.

For those who don’t know, Accenture used to be Arthur Andersen, a global outsourcing and consultancy company.

In my experience, consultancy companies come in all full of themselves and how great they are, fuck you up all over the place, charge extortionately for the privilege, and then screw off with the money, leaving a shitpile of fuckuppery behind them.

As such, I’d say that Tiger Woods right now is the perfect person to represent them…


Two Months Already

Hard though it is to believe, it’s already two months since I started the new job.

Time’s flown, it feels like it’s been a lot longer that I’ve been there.

Even better, so far – and I’m aware that this is normally where things start to go tits-up – things are going well. Of course, I’m not counting on anything yet, but well, nothing’s gone wrong yet. And that’s not bad, for me.


Crossing to Nowhere

While out shopping for some bits yesterday, we came across this crossing in a carpark in Norwich…

Crossing to Nowhere

Crossing to Nowhere

Yep, that zebra-crossing actually ends up in a hedge. No pathway, no throughfare, nothing. Just cross the road, walk into a hedge.

Bizarre


Take Responsibility

Apparently, the EU is caling for a volume limit to be put on all MP3 players. A report last year warning that up to 10m people in the EU face permanent hearing loss from listening to loud music for prolonged periods.

Stories like this drive me mental. People need to take responsibility for their actions – not be told everything they can and can’t do. Fine, put a warning on the boxes (or even on the display when the volume goes past a certain level, as my Sony MP3 player already does) that loud volume for long periods fucks the hearing. But let people decide, and take that responsibility.

After all, these things are (or at least bloody well should be) down to personal choice. It’s not the MP3 players decision, it shouldn’t be a government/EU decision.  If someone decides that their music needs to be at absolute top volume all the time, fine, they’ll have issues in later life. Let them make the decision.


111,111

Yes, I really am this sad…

111,111 on the odometer

111,111 on the odometer

And yes, I was parked up at the time (as the speedo needle shows) but I did have to pull in to a car park just so I could take the photo.


Scratch List

So, following on from yesterday’s post, a list of the scratches on the car. (Just for laughs, it’s nowt special)

  1. Rear nearside wheel arch – scraped down a wall in Devon three days after I got the car. (Stuck on a single-track road, reversed, didn’t know the length/width of the car. Scratch)
  2. Slight dent on rear bumper – on the same trip in Devon, not knowing the length of the car and reversing in a car-park.
  3. Rear nearside passenger door – scraped on the bumper of another car. (Yes, that’s the one in the multi-storey car park in London)
  4. Rear driverside doors – scraped on the tight entrance to the car park at Little Ouse Moorings
  5. Another dent on rear bumper – reversed into in Reading while pulling out of a parking space
  6. Rear driverside door – the new scratch from yesterday, courtesy of Mr M 521 BNH

Along the way there’s also been the damage done by two collisions with deer, and the smashed driver-side mirror when got whacked by someone coming the other way.

And today it’s in the garage for a service and replacement handbrake cable. *sigh*


M 521 BNH

Normally, you’d think that the car park for my office is a fairly secure place.

It’s on a small industrial estate, and has big barred gates (allbeit ones that are open through the day) that have notices on about “No unauthorised entry” and the like. It’s fairly small, and I tend to park in the corner of it, due to usually being one of the first to arrive.

Today though – and this is on the account of the people who saw it, I didn’t – some fuckwit old bastard came in to our carpark while (apparently) visiting the Post Office sorting office next door, swung round into the parking space next to mine, and put a scratch down the side of my car. He then backed out, pulled away, went into the sorting office, did whatever he had to, and fucked off. No attempt was made to come into our office and say “Sorry” or anything.

It’s not a big scratch, and it really just joins the collection. Fortunately I’m not precious about my car, and – as I’ve always said before – plan to drive it into the ground, so one scratch more or less isn’t really relevant. I should probably get them fixed, but with the time I spend driving (and thus nowhere near, for example, a body shop) I can’t be arsed. Maybe sometime in 2010. Maybe.

But all the same, I’m pissed off. I know I’ve scraped another driver’s bumper and not done anything about it, but that was in a multi-storey car park in the middle of London. Yes, I could’ve left a note on the windscreen or something, but I didn’t. But here it’s a car-park for one office building (which only has one company in it) so it’s a bit different.

So all told, I’d just like to say that the driver of the car with the registration M521BNH is an utter, utter cunt. He’s also bloody lucky he didn’t do it to either of the director’s cars – currently a Bentley Continental, a Porsche and a fucking boat-like Audi Q7.


Christmas Cheer

(via FailBlog) This has to be one of the best (and darkest) uses of Christmas Lights yet seen…

Bambi in Lights

Bambi in Lights

The work of a fantastically sick mind.

I Love it.


Resources and Consequences

Following on from yesterday’s post about Global Warming, Claire commented

Yes, the planet will happily survive, but are you implying that we shouldn’t be going out of our way to prevent the millions of deaths that will be caused by Climate Change in the very near future?

And to be honest, I don’t know.

On my more cynical days, I wonder whether Climate Change isn’t just another case of Darwinism and/or that Gaia hypothesis. We’re working so hard to save everyone, but does the planet have enough resources to support all the people that are saved? And if we don’t have the resources in the first place, what’s the answer?

As an example, one of Comic Relief’s big aims this year was about tackling malaria. According to Comic Relief, Malaria kills a child every 30 seconds – so the money raised for this project was primarily aimed at providing mosquito nets, and thus stopping those children from being infected in the first place. But for all those people who now survive, rather than die of malaria (or other disease of choice) will they take up extra resources? Will we see Uganda (and Africa in general) in droughts and famines in ten years time because there are so many extra mouths to feed than there used to be?

If Climate Change and Global Warming are going to be as world-changing as they’re purported to be, planetary resources are going to be reduced from their current levels anyway. So how will we plan on feeding/watering/housing everyone?

I don’t know the answers – I don’t even pretend to know the answers – and this is just shit I think about on cynical days.


Global Warming

The Copenhagen UN Climate Change Conference starts today, with delegates from 192 countries and leaders of 100 countries planning to attend.

The irony that none of the media seems to be mentioning is that the massive majority of those delegates and leaders will be flying in – thus contributing to the carbon emissions they’re all purportedly wanting to cut. Oops.

The thing that annoys me about the entire “Global warming” thing is this – whatever we do, the planet will survive. Saying that we’re going to destroy the planet is – to be blunt – simply egotistical bullshit. Even a nuclear war wouldn’t destroy the planet. What people actually mean when they talk about global warming is “we might wipe ourselves off the face of the planet”. And that’s a bit different to the overly-emotive “destroy the planet”.

Higher temperatures and higher levels of CO² etc. will have an effect, certainly. And it might damage or destroy “civilisation as we know it”. But those things will really just create different environments, and different ecospheres that evolution will deal with if technology doesn’t. The planet won’t die – but it will change, as it has done for billions of years previously. (The Gaia Hypothesis is one interesting theory on this)

Yes, we might end up with a new Desert Age. It might swing back to a new Ice Age. It might do one and then the other. But it won’t destroy the planet.

Even in all these changes, the odds are that humanity won’t be wiped out. (unless it all becomes an event similar to that/those which killed off the Dinosaurs – yet another example of “this stuff has happened before”) It’ll be reduced, almost certainly – but I suspect there’d still be pockets of humanity going through, restarting, evolving, and dealing with new living conditions and environments.

Even if we were to go to entirely sustainable ‘green energy, we don’t know what the long-term effects would be. We don’t know what happens if – for example – we pull energy from the sea (wave turbines/power). That energy isn’t magicked out of nothing – there are systems that exist, and we simply don’t know what long-term effect any of our supposedly green plans might have.

This doesn’t mean I think we should all leave lights on all the time and consume as much power as possible – but equally I don’t think we should worry about it as much as politicians think we should.  Sure, things will change – but the oil supply is likely to run out well before the greenhouse effect or global warming get us. At that point, who knows? We might have stretched our way to using nuclear power (which I personally think is still the only real alternative to oil/carbon-based energy) but somehow I doubt it – the politicians will biffle on about global warming and reducing carbon emissions without actually doing anything that’ll replace the things that generate those carbon emissions.


Organised for Festering

ScroogeToday, I get to post off the menu choices for the entire family for Christmas Day.

Yes I know, the Scrooge of the family somehow gets to do the organisation of Christmas Day. Bizarre, but true. And it’s been this way now for three damn years.

In some ways I don’t mind, to be honest. It’s epically demoralising getting the sodding menus in August/September, and then dealing with who’s coming, who’s not, what’s going on, where we’ll be going, and getting back everyone’s menu choices.  It also appeases the control-freak side of my nature, because it means I’ve got it sorted, I know what’s going on, and I know it’s all done.

This year it involves both Herself’s family and mine, which is a new one. My lot are coming up and staying with us over the Festering Season. Fortunately my father and brother are pretty much as Scrooge-esque as me, which’ll help. But still, it’s going to be fairly fraught. (More cynical souls than I would say that the Festering Season was always thus)

For now though, at least it’s all organised. I can go back to being a grumpy old Christmas-loathing bastard – not that that’s a change : just because I’ve organised the sodding day doesn’t mean I don’t still fucking hate it.

Next year, someone else can do it.


Destination Handbrake

Yesterday, the handbrake on the car loosened significantly. It’s still working, but it’s pretty much at the limit now, rather than where it was.

Looks like I’m going to need to book it in for a service fairly quickly come Monday. For the moment the handbrake’s working OK – but this is obviously the warning sign that things are going to get worse sometime soon. So, time to get it fixed before that happens.

Always a joy, this car servicing/fixing lark…


Designer Pissoir

Lucky swine that I am, I came across these yesterday. They’re wrong in just so many ways…

Yep, urinals designed as flowers to piss in

Yep, urinals designed as flowers to piss in

Hard to believe someone’s designed something like this, isn’t it?


Unbelievable

I saw a trail for this TV programme (on BBC Three, no less) earlier this week, and assumed it was just a massive piss-take where I’d missed either a) the run-up or b) the punchline.

But no, apparently it’s real. A programme called “Move like Michael Jackson“.

And if your instant thought (like mine) was “Well that’s not going to be difficult, is it?” then you’re going to Hell too.

See you there.


Relocation Irritation

I caught an old episode of Channel 4’s “Relocation Relocation” last night, and yet again my old problem with the programme reared its head.

In short, while I get that some people do need to do the “two properties” thing, why do so many of the ones on this programme have such tight budgets?

I’m sure that most of them end up getting sane, and buying just one place in the end. But it seems to me that most of the people on there are really taken with the idea of “a little Pied á Terre” in London while living “out in the country” for weekends until they look at the practicalities of it.  I’m sure it’s a situation that works for some people (for example, I could sort-of see myself doing it, if I were getting paid enough and working in London while still being here in Norfolk) but it’s a nightmare to do. Yes, it’d be nicer than staying three or four nights per week in a cocking Travelodge, but at the same time would it be any cheaper? I doubt it.

Personally I’d rather have a nicer/larger place out in the country – and if I did have to be working in London (or wherever) then I’d just use a hotel or a B&B and get a decent bulk-buy rate.

But maybe I’m just more sensible (or perhaps just less mad) than the people on Relocation Relocation.


Jesus Venn

I can’t now remember where I saw this first, but I loved it…

Jesus in a Venn Diagram


December

ScroogeIt seems like loads of people around us spent last weekend putting up all their fucking manky house decorations for the Festering Season. some of them really do have to be seen to be believed.

In particular, two houses on my regular commute have gone hysterically over the top. I’m going to have to stop off some time this week on the way home and see what I can do about getting a couple of photos.

The TV’s full of shitty ads about perfume, CDs, chocolates, and fucking scumshit bastard Iceland.

And to top it off I’ve just had a spam email of “Festive Offers from Tesco Credit Card”. Fuck off, you dirtbags.

Well hellooooo, December.


Dell vs. Apple – the desktop version

Following on from yesterday’s post regarding the difference in price between Dell and Apple, I also ended up doing one between desktop machines. You know, just for the sheer fucking hell of it.

Similar plan – same specs where possible, same plan. Not bog-standard, not top-of-the-line, but mid-end on both models…

Dell Apple
Model Optiplex 360 iMac
Processor 3.06Ghz Core 2 Duo 3.06Ghz Core 2 Duo
Memory (RAM) 4Gb 4Gb
Hard Disk 1Tb 1Tb
Monitor Size 22″ 21.5″
Graphics Card ATI Radeon HD3450 (256Mb) ATI Radeon HD 4670 256MB
Keyboard Logitech Wireless Apple Wireless
Mouse Logitech Nano MX Revolution Apple Mighty Mouse
Price £895.35 inc VAT £1,199 inc VAT

Yep, think I know which one I’d go for…


Places to avoid

If you were planning on going to Nottingham this coming weekend, this story is a pretty good explanation of why you really should change plans


Dell, Apple, and HP

Yet again today I’ve been involved in an argument about the costs of Dell vs. Apple laptops. It gets really old, really fast.

All the normal excuses get trollied out, “They’re not that more expensive really”, “Apple Macs are lovely, and built from a solid block of aluminium”, “Dells fucking suck” so forth, so fifth.

So for the sheer fuck of it, I decided to do a comparison. Dell vs. Apple Mac vs. HP (as one person recommended). HP isn’t really fair, as they don’t appear to offer much in the way of customisation.

The spec : An “office-ready” machine. (i.e. not Dell’s low-end inspiron, but corporate Latitude). 4Gb RAM. 500Gb hard disk (or highest size possible). Best possible monitor/screen resolution. And what we come up with is this :

HP Dell Apple
Model HP Compaq 6730b Latitude 6500 Macbook Pro
Screen Size 15″ 15″ 15″
Processor 2.53Ghz Core Duo 2.53Ghz Core Duo 2.53Ghz Core Duo
RAM 4GB 4GB 4GB
Hard Disk 250Gb 250Gb 250Gb
Resolution 1280×800 1920×1200 1440×900
DVD Drive Not Specced 8x DVD +/RW Superdrive 8x (DVD +R DL/DVD)
Additional Info, as requested by Matt in the comments
Dimensions WxH : 35.6×26.6cm
Depth: 3.4cm
WxH : 35.8×25.7cm
Depth : 3.3cm
WxH : 36.4×24.9cm
Depth: 2.41cm
Weight 2.7Kg 2.3Kg 2.5Kg
 
Price £767 inc VAT £1105 VAT £1299 incl VAT

Not the most convincing (once you’ve added in VAT – Dell and HP don’t show it ’til afterwards) but still the Apple is nearly £200 more than it’s nearest competitor.

Interesting though.