My Own Policies

Thank the lord, we’re finally through all the election guff. At the time of writing this, I don’t know who’ll have won the election.

I do think, though, that a plainly-put list of policies and ideas would’ve been a far better idea than the wanky ethereal guff spouted in most of the manifestos this year. And I reckon that if a party had put forward the following list, they’d have had a pretty good chance at getting in. I could be wrong, but I figure it’d be a set of policies I’d vote for, anyway.

The policies I’d put in are (in no particular order, but as they occur to me) :

  • Banning HGVs and coaches from the outside lane of all multi-carriageway roads. That would mean HGVs and coaches could overtake etc on three-lane motorways by using the inner two lanes, but wouldn’t be able to do so on dual carriageways and two-lane motorways like most of the M11
  • Reducing fuel duty
  • Reducing our energy imports by increasing our nuclear-power capacity and promoting green energy
  • Making Inland Revenue into an efficient organisation
  • Local authority management reductions
  • NHS improvements – removing managers, increasing “front-line” staff
  • Speaking plainly and clearly rather than evasive waffle
  • [Added later, because I forgot] – Electoral reform, making it law that everyone eligible has to vote, but there is a “None of the above” option on the ballot.
  • [Added later, because I forgot] – Enforcing use of fuel duty/road tax to maintain/upgrade transport and roads
  • [Added later, because I forgot] – Looking at re-nationalising train service, along with investment from the above point to upgrade rail network/rolling stock

How would this be paid for? By (to a greater or lesser degree) :

  • Increasing tax for earners of >£100,000
  • Chasing non-dom non-taxpayers
  • Increasing VAT by 2.5% to 20% – when it was dropped from 17.5 to 15% everyone said it was a piss-poor reduction – so will they complain if it increases by the same?
  • Improving efficiency – not by cutting costs, but by improving efficiency and reducing red tape and crap

There’s probably other bits I could add to this, but it seems like a pretty good list so far.

Mind you, I fully expect to be ripped apart on some of these by certain readers. 🙂


Contrasting Stories

Looking at BBC News this morning, I saw this :

Contrasting Stories on the BBC

Contrasting Stories on the BBC

So toddlers watching TV causes them long-term harm, but more people are watching TV because they’ve no money.

Awesome.


Craven

Much as I was disappointed by Frankie Boyle when he played the Cambridge Corn Exchange (and wouldn’t bother going to see him again anywhere) I do still like a lot of the things he says, does, and jokes about. (We’ll also get past that thing about the Down’s Syndrome jokes, which were stupid and based on attitudes from about twenty years ago)

I’ve also been impressed with his statement here about the apology issued “on his behalf” (and apparently without his knowledge) by the BBC in regard to jokes he made on a radio programme two years ago…

In case you missed it, the jokes in question are: ‘I’ve been studying Israeli Army Martial Arts. I now know 16 ways to kick a Palestinian woman in the back. People think that the Middle East is very complex but I have an analogy that sums it up quite well. If you imagine that Palestine is a big cake, well…that cake is being punched to pieces by a very angry Jew.’

I think the problem here is that the show’s producers will have thought that Israel, an aggressive, terrorist state with a nuclear arsenal was an appropriate target for satire. The Trust’s ruling is essentially a note from their line managers. It says that if you imagine that a state busily going about the destruction of an entire people is fair game, you are mistaken. Israel is out of bounds.

The BBC refused to broadcast a humanitarian appeal in 2009 to help residents of Gaza rebuild their homes. It’s tragic for such a great institution but it is now cravenly afraid of giving offence and vulnerable to any kind of well drilled lobbying.

The full statement (as per the above link) is available here


Dickheads Day Out

The last two days of driving in to work have been populated with complete idiots, and one really close near-miss.

Yesterday I was belting under the A11, and a (female) driver came down off the A11 and turned out in front of me, didn’t even look to her right. She was on her phone, which is apparently some kind of excuse for being a fuckwit. Even better, when I swerved round her – fortunately there was nothing coming the other way – and used my horn, she decided that it was me being unreasonable.

Other than that notable experience, there’ve also been a whole bundle of people pulling out in front of me – allbeit while looking – as well as incredibly slow-moving trucks and tractors.

With tractors and farm machinery on the road (as I’ve said before) it drives me barmy that so many people seem to be so nervous about overtaking- particularly when there’s a long sweep of straight road where several cars could overtake the sodding things.

Still, all’s OK, and you do get to your destination eventually. But dear lord, it’d be nice to have a dickhead-free drive home…


eTyres

So following on from yesterday’s discovery of a flat tyre, I booked in (and paid in advance) through eTyres.co.uk to get it fixed at home. eTyres offer their service at home, which is ideal when you’ve got a flat.

However, the motto of this entire story is that if you’re going to have a puncture and use eTyres, don’t do it on a weekend. Despite being able to book and order online, for some fuckforsaken reason they can’t organise things ’til the Monday morning. And at that point they’ve also got to deal with all the people who’ve booked on the Saturday.

I did try to change the tyre myself so I could get down to the local tyre place, but the wheelnuts were on so tight I couldn’t even move the sodding things. Insurance-wise I was going to be lowest of the low priority calls, and they couldn’t even give me a time expectation. So all told that left me pretty much at the mercy of eTyres.

Having made the booking online yesterday evening, they finally arrived at 5.30. Yep, a whole day. So much for the speed of booking via the internet etc. etc.

In the end they’ve done a decent job, and for a fairly decent price. Not as great as they make out in their marketing, but not bad.

But if you need a swift service that’ll actually get the job done, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend eTyres to anyone.


Electioneering

So it’s the run-up to another General Election – don’t tell me you’d missed it!

This time round I wonder who people will vote for. It’s hard to tell the difference between the two main parties, they seem to be Siamese Twins (sorry, conjoined twins) rather than polar opposites. In both cases their policies (or lack thereof) seem only to differ in punctuation and tiny things to argue about while the main points lumber through regardless. The options seem to be a dour Scottish tosser that we know is a scumbag or a perma-tanned PR weasel who’s slicker than greased owl-shit, and who we simply are pretty certain is a scumbag.  More a case of “whichever devil you know”.

All of which makes me think that perhaps this election is the Liberal Democrat‘s best chance ever.

I wonder how many other people are thinking “Well both Brown and Cameron are cunts I wouldn’t trust to run a bath, let alone a country. Maybe I’ll go for the Libdems, see what they’ve got“. (Or at least words to that effect)

All Nick Clegg has to do really is look like less of a fuckwitted u-turning scumwad than the other two and (in my opinion) he’s got a real chance at being the next PM.

Maybe it’s time for that third way.


Political Contacts

via Twitter/TwitPic, another fine example of why politicians should never ever be allowed to control the internet, or access to it…

Contact details for Labour Party in Linlithgow and Falkirk, with a super-long URL, and errors on Twitter and Facebook names

How not to do it.

So a few pointers…

  1. You really expect your voters to type in www.linlithgowandeastfalkirklabour.org.uk ? Get real.
  2. And separate sites for each constituency? Really? I guess joined-up communications and corporate message just kind of got by-passed.
  3. A hotmail email account? For politicians? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. (Mind you, the actual site doesn’t even appear to list proper email addresses, and just uses a contact form)
  4. It really helps to have the proper names in your Twitter and Facebook contact details. Not “site.com/yourname”. FFS.

And these clueless fuckers are indicative of the type of politicians who brought in the Digital Economy bill? Jesus H. Christ on a shiny metal bicycle.