Misunderstanding
Posted: Mon 13 November, 2023 Filed under: Bankruptcy, Business, Customer Services, Domestic, Stupidity 3 Comments »Back in February, I got a specific credit card with two years of 0% interest on balance transfers. It’s all been good so far, and I”m down to about a third of the original balance, which is how I wanted things to be.
But today I got an email from them saying “Your promotional rate is expiring at the end of the month“, and talking about the money transfer rate. Which seemed a bit odd – and very early.
So anyway, I called them up to find out what was going on, and it turns out that (unsurprisingly) I’m a bloody idiot.
Turns out that the card also had a zero interest deal for money transfers – which aren’t, as I thought, the same as balance transfers. And that’s the rate that was expiring. I’m sure I should’ve known the difference between money and balance transfers, but in that general “What the fuck?” phase of things, I conflated the two things into one.
So anyway, all’s fine. And my acknowledgement of my own idiocy at least made the call handler laugh, so there’s that.
Subscriptions and Stupidity
Posted: Mon 26 June, 2023 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Finances, I Don't Understand, People, Stupidity 3 Comments »Interesting to see that subscription things are now the latest target in the Government’s “How can we protect stupid people from being stupid?” process.
Now OK, some of the tactics used by subscription-model companies can be a pain – particularly the “sign up for a free trial and we’ll charge you after that” thing – but also (as that summary hints) they bloody well tell you what they’re going to do! I assume that people just get as far as “sign up for a free trial” and then stop reading/comprehending, but it really isn’t rocket science.
If you’re wanting to try it, then sign up for the free trial. But at the same time put a reminder in your phone for 25-ish days away that says “Cancel [x]”. Then when the phone says “Cancel [x]”, do so. Voila, no charge.
Yes, the model absolutely relies on people being stupid and not bothering to cancel the subscription. Similarly, most gym memberships expect/hope that the majority of people will sign up for the year and only use the place for two or three months. (although that one is a contract, so they can’t easily get out of it) But a subscription model paid month-to-month is an easy one to cancel – assuming even a vague level of competence, of course. The first time the payment comes out, if you don’t want it, it’s easy to go “Oh, fuck it. Forgot that – let’s cancel that now so I don’t have to pay again next month!” and just log in and get it cancelled.
Now OK, I accept that I’m probably not “normal” on this, but I keep a close eye on my money – I know when payments come out, I know what I’m expecting to pay, and I check my bank account every couple of days, minimum. I know where I stand on all of it on any given day. So it absolutely gobsmacks me to see things like this (from the story linked above) :
John, for example, told the BBC he had signed up to Amazon Prime video for a 30-day free period and forgot to cancel it when he had to start paying for it.
“I’m just gutted I spent £6.99 a month for 18 months for no reason”.
Now, I’d like to see Amazon’s side of that story, and see whether “John” actually watched Amazon video in that time, and/or whether he got Amazon deliveries in that time. It’s worth noting that Amazon is actually an oddity in this case, in that you pay for Prime delivery and get the video stuff as well – so if he’s paid for Prime to get things delivered next-day and made use of that then it’s not been a waste of money in the first place!
As for cancelling, John comes up with this gem…
“It was such a stressful ordeal and left me with a lot of anxiety. It ridiculous, these companies only care about the money not the person”.
I mean…. A) Welcome to Capitalism. And B) it’s a simple process. Yes, they’ll say “Are you sure? Here’s what you’ll lose out on” and so on, because they do want to keep your custom/money. Of course they do. But it’s not a challenging thing to just say “Yep, cancel it”. Certainly most (if not all) of the online companies make it easy – a couple of clicks and it’s done. Even the dating sites don’t make a big thing of the people leaving – they know they’ll have plenty of other people signing up or staying on.
All told, if someone says they’re short of money (“Cost of living crisis” etc. etc.) and yet still ‘not knowing’ that they’re paying out for subscriptions, then they’re not actually that short of money. (Or are congenitally and irredeemably stupid)
On the other hand, I can absolutely see that it would be good/ethical for a subscription service to send a check-up message if the person using it hasn’t accessed that service at all in (for example) six months, and have them opt back in (or at least say “Yes, I want to keep going with this”) at that point. And if they don’t respond, then their account gets deactivated. Among other things, that would be useful in scenarios where the person has died or become incapacitated, and reduces the whole nightmare of trying to unsubscribe someone from something where you don’t even know their username/password.
Ticketed
Posted: Sat 25 March, 2023 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Milton Keynes, Pedantry, Stupidity Leave a comment »This morning, I got given a parking ticket – incorrectly, as it happens, and it’s already been challenged.
However, on reading the back of the ticket, I came across this gem
Click to embiggenify
For those who don’t want to enlarge the text, what it says is :
If the penalty charge is not paid [wordy guff] or has been successfully challenged, the Council may serve a Notice To Owner (NTO) on the owner of the vehicle requiring payment of the penalty charge.
Now, I know what they mean, but that’s not what they say. The implication here (as I read it) is “If you’ve successfully challenged the ticket, we can still come after you for the money“.
So, I’ve raised that as an issue as well, which should be interesting – or at least entertaining!
The Naming Of Things
Posted: Mon 13 March, 2023 Filed under: Cynicism, News, Politics, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »At the moment I’m decidedly amused by the way the UK government hasn’t even thought about the name of one of its controversial Bills, and how it gets reported and described.
So what we get now is news coverage saying “[politician] has condemned the Government’s Illegal Migration Bill“, which makes it sound like the Bill is illegal.
Comes to something when they can’t even get the name right, doesn’t it?
Romance Fraud
Posted: Tue 10 January, 2023 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, I Don't Understand, People, Stupidity, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »In the new house I’m working from home a lot more, which has also led to me having slightly more TV on during the daytime. (I know, I know)
One of the things I had the misfortune to catch this week was BBC’s “For Love or Money” (that link takes you to the iPlayer page for it) about people falling for “romance fraud” – basically, fraudsters getting contact with lonely people who respond, form online ‘relationships’, and end up sending money to these “partners” for all manner of outlandish reasons.
Actually, it’s not fair to say “misfortune” – I guess that morning daytime TV is a good place for this, as the main demographic for seeing it and going “Oh shit, that’s what I’ve been doing” are likely to have it on. So it’s probably useful and good on that score.
In some ways I have sympathy for the people who fall for this shit – the main group seem to be older people who’ve usually lost a long-term spouse, and suddenly find themselves alone for the first time in decades, are lonely, and will grip onto anything that makes them feel less lonely. I do understand (kinda/sorta) that side at least.
But at the same time, Jesus Fuck, these people are bloody stupid. I don’t understand how they can class the communication as a relationship, or being “in love” with someone they’ve never met. And I really don’t understand the whole thing of giving money to someone they’ve never met. I know it’s a psychological thing, that the scam starts (comparatively) small and then people keep on paying out because they don’t want to be proved to have been scammed/stupid – which boggles my mind in all kinds of different ways – “I don’t want to be seen as stupid for sending them £200, so I’ll send £2,000 to end up proving I was right” What?!?
Even more mind-boggling are the ones who get into this trap with one “person” , realise they’ve been scammed, and then get caught again in the same situation. And (in my opinion, blah blah) those particular people are too stupid for words. And then they say *on the programme* “Oh, you must think I’m really stupid” and the presenters say “No, no, you’ve done nothing wrong“. And I don’t feel that’s right – they didn’t do anything wrong initially, but if they carry on (and particularly if they fall for the same thing twice) then the presenter should be allowed to say “Yes, you are. What kind of fucking idiot gives money to someone they’ve never even met?!?“. Shock them into realising how bloody stupid they’ve been, and it just might have a lasting effect.
I don’t know the answer – there’ll always be stupid people in these kind of horrible situations. But it seems to me like the basic thought process of “I don’t know this person, we’ve talked but I’ve never met them, yet they’re asking me for money – why?” shouldn’t really be that difficult, should it?
Crunch/Scrape
Posted: Wed 1 June, 2022 Filed under: Car Repairs, Domestic, Driving, Getting Organised, People, Stupidity, Thoughts 1 Comment »Today I had my first ‘crash’ involving another vehicle. (I’d only had one other incident before, but that was an icy road in Norfolk, nearly 13 years ago, and it was only me involved) Before anything else, I’m fine – the car’s got a scraped body panel, but it was all fairly low-speed, no air-bags needed, no injuries, nothing.
As it was, I’m almost certain the responsibility wasn’t mine – although the other driver insists it was my fault, so I’m just letting the insurance companies fight it out. Basically though, I was in the correct lane, the other car was merging in and for some reason expected me to give way. We’ll see what the insurance people say.
It was at a new-ish junction, and the signage isn’t the easiest to understand, but I’ve driven it enough times that I know how it works. (Although the other driver also does it fairly regularly, so should know better! 🙂 )
Using the photo below, I was turning right out of Mike Griffin Way. You can be in either lane (which is fucked up in the first place). If you’re in the left-hand lane then that becomes the direct route; the right-hand lane has another turn-off (the rough equivalent of a hairpin turn) and then merges into the direct route. It was, in short, designed by a fucking idiot.
The junction – click to Embiggenify
So I was in the left-hand lane having come out of Mike Griffin Way, with the other car in the right-hand lane. And at the merge (top-right of the image) they decided to pull into the left-hand lane. No indication or anything, just pulling in.
Fortunately, I was aware they were there, and as they pulled across I was already braking hard and sounding the horn to let them know I was there. But still, impact. Rather than blocking the road, we went up to the nearest layby, pulled in, did the whole exchange of details, photos and so on, and then got on with life. I’m happy with how I did everything – making sure they were OK, but also getting names, details, numbers, registration plates etc., and ensuring that they got mine as well. Basically, I didn’t want there to be any chance of miscommunications, or “he just drove off” accusations.
Because there’s been no injury, no road blockage etc., the police haven’t needed to be informed (another thing I also checked with the insurance company, to make sure they were happy with not having a police incident number or anything) and I’m quite happy to not have to involve them..
I don’t yet know what the outcome will be. My car’s OK, it’s got some nice new scratches and a dent, but it’s perfectly driveable, and I don’t know if I’ll even bother getting the scratches repaired. My insurance shouldn’t be affected (even if they decide it was my fault) as I’ve got a protected 10+ year No Claims Bonus, which means I could even have another accident (not that I’m planning to!) before even beginning to worry on that score.
We’ll see what happens, but all is good so far as I can tell. I wouldn’t recommend it as a way to spend an afternoon – but equally, things could have been *so* much worse in so, so many ways.
Smart Motorways, Dumb Drivers
Posted: Tue 20 April, 2021 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, I Don't Understand, M1, People, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel 2 Comments »I see today that the UK has decided to stop any new “Smart Motorway” projects, insisting that they need extra safety precautions. This is primarily the aftermath of coroner’s reports into certain fatal accidents on these Smart Motorways.
From the article…
- In 2019, 15 people were killed on “all lane running” and “dynamic hard shoulder” motorways. This is four more deaths than in 2018.
- The number of people being killed on motorways without hard shoulders increased each year from 2015 to 2019, and totalled 39 deaths.
- By contrast, on so-called “controlled motorways” – a type of smart motorway which have variable speed limits and a hard shoulder – there were 24 deaths in that period.
- On conventional motorways, which cover more of the UK than smart motorways, there were 368 fatalities from 2015 to 2019.
The M1 around where I live was one of the first Smart Motorways, and I’ve written a lot about how stupid people can be on those motorways – particularly about the availability of lanes, and a lack of general driving standards (Middle-lane cunts and the like)
From my experience, a lot of drivers seem to be incapable of reading road signs saying whether a lane is open or closed (although also even whether the approaching junction is the one they want or not, until the absolute last minute) This also seems to be borne out by the latest rash of road-safety adverts telling people that they should ‘go left’ in case of problems on motorways (and fucking hell, in my opinion anyone who needs to be told this shouldn’t be in possession of a driving licence!)
As an example of this, one of the cases the coroners were looking at was one local to me where the person’s vehicle had a problem, showed the ‘engine problem’ warning light, and they pulled in to one of the emergency refuge areas. Now, when that happened to me, I got out of the car (in a snowy January) and called recovery to get me off the road safely. But not this twerd, oh no. They gave it a few minutes, started the car, no light came on, so they pulled out to continue their journey. (The ‘engine problem’ light doesn’t necessarily immediately light up on starting – for example, if the issue is to do with the turbo, the EGR valve, air filter etc., it’ll only come on when you accelerate over a certain rpm limit, at which point you’re shafted) And that’s what happened to Twonktacular – the light came back on, the engine performance disappeared, and they got hit by another vehicle. Yet somehow that’s the fault of the smart motorway, not the dumbass driver.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a huge fan of motorways without hard-shoulders. And I’m sure there are considerations and gambles that have been taken about how people get to emergency refuge areas, how the road monitoring is managed/staffed and so on. But I also understand how impractical it is, with current traffic levels and so on, to have a quarter of each road surface only available to vehicles in emergencies.
All told, I don’t believe that Smart Motorways are inherently dangerous. I think drivers (and their decisions, or lack thereof) are far more dangerous than roads. You just can’t blame an inanimate road for human stupidity.
Colder Than Necessary
Posted: Sat 5 December, 2020 Filed under: Driving, Getting Out More, M1, People, Stupidity, Thoughts, Weather Leave a comment »Yesterday, for reasons I’ll write about some other time, I had to drive up to Newark.
It’s not a horrific drive, about 90 minutes usually, and pretty easy. Straight up the A1 , and then down the M1 to come home.
Yesterday though, was bloody vile. About halfway through the drive up, it started to snow – not super-heavy, but enough to make things interesting in the still-quite-dark winter morning.
It was at this point that I discovered that my car’s heating had packed up. Fuck.
By the time I stopped at Newark, it was snowing fairly heavily, and starting to settle.
When I came out to go home, the car had a good three or four inches of snow all over it, and the roads were full of it as well. The start of the drive home was emphatically Not Fun, although for me that was mainly because it was bloody cold inside the car, and no heating meant it was also steaming up a bit. The real Not Fun was more in the purview of other drivers who couldn’t handle snowy roads and/or hadn’t put lights on, and were generally utter fucksticks.
The M1 was OK – once I got down past Leicester the snow turned to heavy rain, and then it was just a slog through shitty weather and shitty traffic.
All in, the temperature (according to my car) rose by five full degrees (Centigrade) in the hundred miles between Newark and Home.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a drive where I was actually thankful to get out at the end of it. But that was definitely one of them.
Levels of Stupid
Posted: Tue 25 February, 2020 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, I Don't Understand, People, Stupidity, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »At the moment, I get a *lot* of spam about property investment – probably an average of five to ten a day. I don’t know why it’s suddenly this subject, but it’s definitely noticeable.
Student flats in Hull, Hotel rooms in Leicester, Apartments in Liverpool and Manchester, and even some overseas stuff. I don’t pay attention to it, but it does make me think.
Basically, what kind of idiot (or lunatic) is going to decide to invest in a property, based on receiving a spam/junk email? It’s a huge amount of money, however you look at it.
I mean, obviously people do fall for this crap – the spammers/scammers wouldn’t bother sending it out if they didn’t – but I can’t deny, I figure that the people who do so pretty much deserve everything they get.
Meatopian
Posted: Sun 1 September, 2019 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Food, Getting Organised, Getting Out More, London, M1, Stupidity Leave a comment »As usual, my September is looking like it’ll be my normal levels of silliness, with lots of travel and so on.
And also as usual, it started with Meatopia, a festival of various barbecued meats. It’s one of my favourite events of the year – and this time I was at all three sessions. Because I’m a complete lunatic.
I had intended to be more sensible – going down for the Friday was still silly, but I’d intended to then park up at Barbican on Saturday, have a hotel on the Saturday night (being able to collect my bag from the car at Barbican on the way, and deposit it on the way back before Sunday) and then come home.
But then I checked the football schedule – and it turned out that Arsenal were playing at home on the Sunday. Not usually relevant, but when driving back on the Sunday, it would’ve shoved me right through all the traffic and people at Highbury, which would add at least an hour to the drive. And frankly, sod that.
So it meant a change to plans, and instead doing my usual thing, parking in Very North London, Tube to Euston/Angel, and walk to Tobacco Dock. Yes, I *could* have still used the hotel, but it meant that all the travel to and from the car to drop off clothes/bag etc. would’ve made it a lot more hassle and a lot less fun. So it was ‘easier’ to travel further, but on my terms and with less general fucking about.
All told, as well as a ridiculous amount of food, it meant I did six walks of 6km, as well as further walking on-site and so on, so all told over Friday, Saturday and Sunday I covered no less than 44km (27 miles)
Meatopia was totally worth it again, and I’ll be there next year.
Poorly Sick (part two)
Posted: Mon 4 February, 2019 Filed under: Day Trips, Domestic, Driving, Getting Out More, Gigs, Health, Single Life, Stupidity, Travel Leave a comment »Last week’s “Poorly Sick” has continued on for the last week – although also not helped by my own general idiocy.
On the Tuesday, while coughing my lungs out (mmm, tasty) I drove up to Manchester to see friends, and then go with them to see Massive Attack at the Manchester Arena. And then drove home afterwards, like a friggin’ lunatic. By the time I got back – Wednesday morning, 2:30am – I’d twatted my ribs with the coughing I’d done, and felt fairly rough.
Wednesday was spent at home feeling ropy (while also getting enough work done to keep people happy) and Thursday I was on-site down in Chesham. I was feeling shitty enough there (and cold enough, the office being ridiculously cold) that I left at lunchtime and came home to thaw out.
Friday was also quiet, spent mainly at home.
Saturday was a trip to London to meet another friend and see “When we have sufficiently tortured each other” at the National Theatre (Spoiler : Don’t bother, it’s cobblers)
And then Sunday was another daft day-trip, this time down to the edge of Somerset to see other friends. And back home the same day, getting back at midnight on the dot.
So yeah, a week of being comprensively unwell while still being daft.
Hopefully things are back to a more even keel this week, but time will tell.
Subconscious
Posted: Fri 18 January, 2019 Filed under: Car Repairs, Domestic, Dreaming, Driving, Getting Organised, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »Recently, I came across a really odd thing.
For the last few months, I’ve been experiencing problems with my car at night, with the lights suddenly failing and me driving in absolute darkness.
One night this week I had a drive home where it felt like the same thing had happened again – cars pulling out right in front of me as if they hadn’t seen me, that kind of thing. It happened on enough occasions in a short time that I ended up checking whether my lights were working, thinking “Fuck sake, not again”
And that’s when I realised.
I haven’t been experiencing actual problems with the car. I’ve had dreams that I’ve been experiencing problems – because there’s no way on Earth that I would have not got a problem like that sorted immediately. If I’d had an electrical/lighting failure like that, I’d have taken it to the garage the following morning. But I haven’t – I’ve never even called the garage to make an appointment.
So while my conscious brain has been thinking that there’ve been problems with the car and that I really should get things checked/sorted, my subconscious has been sticking its oar in and stopping that from happening. Somewhere along the line it’s known that these problems have been dreams, and has prevented my conscious from actually calling the garage and getting those things sorted.
All the way through I’d have sworn blind that these problems were happening. And it’s only been when I consciously worried that the same problem had occurred again that I realised the previous occurrences hadn’t actually happened.
And that, with no shadow of a doubt, is really bloody weird.
Dickhead
Posted: Fri 7 December, 2018 Filed under: Domestic, Geeky, Music, Stupidity, Thoughts, Toronto, Travel, Weirdness 1 Comment »There are times where (as many people already know) I’m an absolute dickhead. This is the (fairly short) tale of one of those times.
One of the reasons I wanted to visit Toronto (which I finally did earlier this year) was because I’ve been a fan of a band called the Cowboy Junkies (who I’ve written about several times, and saw twice in November) for a very long time – since the first time I heard their “Trinity Sessions” album, in fact. The Trinity Sessions was an album that was all recorded at the Holy Trinity church in Toronto, with only one ambisonic microphone to pick up all the voices and instruments. It’s one of my all-time favourite albums. However, I’d never seen a picture of the church. (This is relevant)
Then, on the anniversary of the recording of Trinity Sessions, they put a photo on their Facebook page of the church
And I thought “I recognise that church“. It turns out we’d gone in and visited it while we were in Toronto, and I hadn’t even realised it was the same place. Indeed, we only went in because it looked interesting (and was hidden away down a little side-street, so we’d only glimpsed the place and its architecture) and it turned out to be a great little find, because it’s beautiful inside, as well as having an absolutely massive organ. (Fnarr) And I knew it was called the Holy Trinity church. I just hadn’t connected the two.
So it took me another six months to realise that I’d actually been in the place, despite all the clues that were there.
And that, in this case, is why I’m a dickhead.
Missing Bits
Posted: Mon 27 August, 2018 Filed under: Car Repairs, Domestic, Driving, Getting Organised, Stupidity, Sweary, Thoughts Leave a comment »I think that the worst bit of having one’s car in the garage (except for the bill at the end) is that you never ever remember to take all the useful stuff out of the current car to put in the replacement one.
Usually, it’s not even the stuff you think of as actually being useful, until the time comes that it’s needed, and then you think “Oh. Cock.” (or words to that effect)
In my case this time there’ve been three times this weekend where I’ve thought that.
The first was really simple – shopping bags. I have re-usable “bag for life” things in the boot of the car. Did I think about needing them when I left the car at the garage? Did I bollocks.
Then the weather changed (it’s a Bank Holiday in the UK, so it’s usually piss-wet, but I didn’t think about that during the week) and chucked down a load of rain. So where’s my waterproof jacket that I haven’t used all year? In the car. Along with the umbrella. Sod.
And finally, when I was eating a packaged salad thing outside the other office in Chesham, where’s the cutlery I keep in the car? Yep, it’s in the car. Just not the right one. For fuck’s sake.
It’s nothing world-ending, obviously. It’s just irritating, because it’s also stuff I just hadn’t thought about. Which makes me feel like a bit of a tit. (Not that that’s anything new or unusual, obviously)
Idiocy (As Usual)
Posted: Fri 10 August, 2018 Filed under: Day Trips, Domestic, Getting Organised, London, Stupidity, Theatre, Thoughts, Travel 2 Comments »Every so often, I realise that I truly am an idiot. Usually only when it’s too late to do anything about it, but still – at least I recognise that I’m an idiot. And yes, I know, it’s nothing new or newsworthy
In the latest example, it all started easily enough – I saw that Shakespeare’s Globe is doing a production of Othello (which I’ve never seen) that had tickets available for a matinee performance. Cheap too, as they’re for standing audience places. And that’s all well and good.
Only then I also saw stuff about another play that’s on in London – “Aristocrats” at the Donmar Warehouse – which had availability for the evening of the same day. So I thought “Yeah, why not?”
Even that’s not too bad – it’ll be a long old day, but hey ho.
It was only when I looked at the calendar on my phone that I realised (again) that I’m an idiot – because in that same week, I’m also already booked in for a one-off cinema showing on the Monday, then the theatre stuff on the Tuesday, then out on Wednesday, and back at the cinema for another one-off screening on the Thursday.
And this is all while I’m still supposed to be doing less.
So yeah, I’m an idiot. A busy idiot, but still an idiot…
Busy Busy
Posted: Sun 10 June, 2018 Filed under: 2017/18, D4D™, Day Trips, Do More, Domestic, Driving, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Food, Getting Organised, Gigs, London, M1, Single Life, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel Leave a comment »I slacked off from writing posts last week – primarily just because I was ridiculously busy, and didn’t get round to it.
The week before had already been daftly busy, including travel to Newcastle for a couple of days, and then social and busy bits on both weekend days.
I can’t even remember now what I did on the Monday – I know I was out, I just can’t recall where/why. That can’t be a good sign.
Then Tuesday evening I was seeing The The at the Royal Albert Hall, and on Wednesday evening seeing them at Brixton Academy, as I may have mentioned before (on more than one occasion) Both nights were great, but on neither occasion was I home before 1am, nor in bed before 3am. And also working during the day.
Thursday was no better, although at least it was more local, by going to the local Geek Night for a bundle of presentations and connections.
And then Friday was supposed to be quieter, “just popping out” for food at a local event, that then meeting friends and chatting, meaning I didn’t actually leave ’til gone 11pm.
Saturday was a day in London, starting with cocktails and lunch at one of my favourite places, The Alchemist in Bevis Marks (near the base of the Gherkin) followed by a play called “Sancho – An Act of Remembrance” at Wilton’s Theatre.
And today was another food event in Milton Keynes, and this evening I’ve finally stopped and been able to relax a bit.
So. That’s my reasons for not updating over the last week. I think it’s a pretty good list, but other opinions may differ. 🙂
Utterly Unsurprised
Posted: Wed 21 March, 2018 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, Marketing, People, Stupidity, Thoughts 1 Comment »At the moment the media is full of the story about Cambridge Analytica, and it’s use of Facebook profiles/data in order to (allegedly) provide personality profiles and feedback to campaigns such as the 2016 US Presidential Election.
Personally, I’m more surprised at how shocked and amazed most people are about this.
Facebook has never really been about being useful to people – it’s always been a marketer’s wet-dream, getting people to voluntarily enter information about themselves, as well as about their interests, social connections, preferences, brands, and so on. The ‘social network’ thing was effectively a mechanism to make things work better for advertisers and marketers – it drew people in, it made them happy to give up their data, and their ‘reward’ was to connect with other people.
In the case of Cambridge Analytica, they appear to have taken the submitted data and linked profiles (as well as the ‘friends of friends’ profiles, which is pretty dodgy as they didn’t consent to it themselves, but again, I’m pretty sure that was part of Facebook’s allowances at the time) and then made use of that data for their own uses. Which isn’t – or at least shouldn’t be – Facebook’s problem. Supposedly the data from Facebook ‘wasn’t meant to be shared with others’, but that’s pretty tricky to word. If a vendor has sold me something (regardless of whether that product is data, goods, services, or whatever) and I’ve paid for it, then it’s mine to with as I will. It’s no longer the vendor’s responsibility. Otherwise we’re saying “I bought a car and drove it at people, it’s the vendor’s fault, they shouldn’t have sold it to me“, which is frankly fucking ridiculous.
There’ll be a lot more of these ‘stories’ to come out now, from any number of different data providers/handlers. Now Facebook are in the media’s gunsights, they’re going to have a tough time getting out of it. (And bearing in mind the ubiquity of Facebook logins on other sites for things like commenting, etc., it’s going to be quite the shitshow, I suspect)
All told, though, it’s just utterly unsurprising – except for the apparent shock of so many people who seemed to think that Facebook was some kind of benevolent ‘let the world stay in touch’ thing, with no cynical over-arching purpose, budget, plan, or activities.
Darwin Strikes Again
Posted: Thu 15 March, 2018 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, People, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »I can’t deny, there’s a certain part of me that is quite happy with Darwinism, and the way idiots seem to find new and exciting ways to take themselves out of the genepool. (And before anyone asks, I’ve been reading the Darwin Awards for years!)
Today’s news carried the story of an American couple where one was killed “as a YouTube prank” because he believed that a thick book would stop a bullet. So he put said book over his chest, and got his partner to shoot him. Yep, you read that right. (It’s also worth noting that the book was only 1.5 inches thick. So, not very.)
Bear in mind, when people are testing firearms, one medium that’s used to fire into is a block of telephone directories. (You can see an example here on YouTube, and there are many others) So a book that’s less than two inches thick? Yeah, no chance.
As it turns out – unsurprisingly – the guy died. His girlfriend – the one he persuaded to make the shot – has now been jailed for six months, although as the story says, the sentence is actually pretty lenient, as it’s obvious that the entire plan was made by the now-deceased, and his partner was just an idiot who believed he knew what he was talking about.
Yes, it’s a sad story, but at the same time it’s also a story of pretty epic stupidity…
Parking Penalties
Posted: Wed 3 January, 2018 Filed under: Cambridge, Customer Services, Cynicism, Day Trips, Domestic, Driving, Getting Organised, Stupidity, Travel 1 Comment »Way back at the start of November, I went to a restaurant in Cambridge, and parked up in a marked parking area where you either displayed a ticket, or used an online payment app. There was a sign saying “Maximum stay 2 hours“, but nothing about “no return within [x] hours” or anything. I paid using the RingGo app on my phone, and decided that if I exceeded that 2 hour limit, I’d simply buy another ticket via RingGo.
Anyway, the meal took a lot longer than the two hours – but when it came to the time, I started to get another ticket, only to be told “No return within an hour” by the app – the first time it had been mentioned anywhere. (The parking was too far from the restaurant for a “quick dash” to pay cash for a new ticket, as well) Bollocks, thought I.
Once the hour was done, I got another ticket (yes, the meal went on that long) but I was pretty sure I’d have a ticket when I got back to the car.
And I did. I also re-checked the signs, and took a photo of them, to prove there was nothing about the return clause on the signage. Once I got home, I paid the ticket – I couldn’t argue that it had been issued correctly, after all! – and then appealed it, becaue of the lack of information and signage. Despite information on the website saying I could (and indeed should) pay and then appeal, immediately it started throwing problems of “You’ve paid this, so can’t appeal it” and so on.
I ended up getting in touch with Cambridgeshire Parking by email, explaining the situation, that the signage and app made no mention at all of the ‘no return’ clause, including the photos and screenshots. And once it was sent, I waited. And waited.
Two weeks later they came back, saying “It says about no return on the ticket machine. Appeal denied”. And that was pretty much it. Nothing else about how to appeal a decision to an independent review (which, according to the website, should be provided every time an appeal is denied) or anything else. So I wrote back, explaining the situation again, that I’d gone nowhere near a ticket machine – having paid online – so never saw the one place they say the clause is detailed.
Another two weeks, and another “Nope. It says it on the ticket machine. You should’ve checked. Appeal denied” response. (Admittedly I’m paraphrasing – but not by all that much!) And still no information about how to take it to an independent adjudicator.
Eventually though, just before Christmas, I ended up speaking to a manager. My sense of humour had utterly failed, I’d escalated it to a full-on complaint, and got the call.
The entire situation is ridiculous. In order to get the information about the adjudicator, I’d have to get my initial paid fine refunded, let the council go through DVLA to find the vehicle owner, send me a formal notice, then I could appeal it, get denied, and get the information about the adjudicator. Which might take up to three more months. Utterly, utterly farcical. But still, I was prepared to do it – not for the money, but simply for the fact that Cambridgeshire Council seem to think that it’s OK to not provide the information, and then fine drivers who haven’t actually walked to the ticket machine.
Anyway. Common-sense finally kicked in. The fine will be refunded, and they’ve accepted that signage (and app information) needs to be improved. The manager still insisted that “no signage mentions the no return clause, that’s a national thing” and so on, but there’s going to be a review.
The real icing on the cake for that, though, was that after two months of dealing with this, I was back in Cambridge the following day, and parked at a different piece of on-street parking. And lo and behold, on the information for that one, the signs say about the no return clause, and so does the app. Which means it’s definitely about inconsistent information within the council, rather than my being utterly wrong.
And yes, I did re-email the manager to tell them that as well…
Weekend Of Idiocy
Posted: Tue 21 November, 2017 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Food, London, M1, Single Life, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »The weekend just gone was the one that had been noted as being a completely daft one, even by my standards. It involved a lot of mileage, a fair amount of walking, and a piss-poor amount of sleep.
Saturday had been “planned” for a while, with a full day in London – starting off with the festive version of the Taste festival at Tobacco Dock. I’d got in early (as usual) and walked down to Tobacoo Dock, getting there in plenty of time.
Also as usual, the organisation of Festive Taste was… kinda flawed. The tickets said it started at 12-noon, the email from the ticket people said “Ooops, sorry, we meant 11.30“. Except it actually opened at 11. Genius. And once we were in, it turned out that none of the food places were actually starting until at least 11.15, and in some cases nothing was ready ’til 12. Not good – but standard. The Festive version also appears to be far more focused on booze than on food, which (for me) is annoying, but there we go. It was still worth going, but I was out within 90 minutes.
In the evening I was at the theatre, seeing Stockard Channing in Apologia. It’s an interesting play, and I really enjoyed it – there may be more thoughts later, I’m not sure yet – and then headed home, getting back at around half one. Which would’ve been OK, except that…
On the Sunday I was on the road by 7.30, heading up to Middlesbrough to see friends, and then on to Durham in the late afternoon to see the Lumiere festival, one of my favourite events. Again, I’ll probably write more about it later on – for now though, The Guardian has great pictures of a lot of it here.
A great day, but a long one – and then drove home, getting back about half two on Monday morning. It would’ve been earlier, but it turns out that the M1 was closed (and hadn’t been announced anywhere when I was driving up) for two whole junctions, and the diversion that was in place added a good forty minutes to the drive. Which was a pain, but there we go.
And even that would all have been sensible (ish. Kinda) if it weren’t for the fact I was also on-site in the other office on Monday morning, so I was in Chesham by 8am…
I really am an idiot.
Technical Dipshittery
Posted: Fri 20 October, 2017 Filed under: Business, Customer Services, Domestic, Geeky, Stupidity, Technology, Weirdness Leave a comment »Yesterday, I got a text message from O2, telling me that they were going to be closing their TuGo app (an app that allows phone calls to be made/received through my wifi connection, when the mobile phone signal is bobbins) at the end of November. It gave some options for enabling better alternatives, including their ‘4G & WiFi Calling’ through a range of phones, so it will no longer need a separate app.
That’s all well and good – and TuGo has always been a bag of shite anyway. So I started to go through the process, as ‘detailed’ by O2 of how to get it all set up on my phone.
Except that once I’d enabled it on my phone (or tried to) it told me I needed to do it via the O2 website, to activate it on my account. Bit of a pain in the arse, but OK, let’s get it done.
Oh.
The page detailed in the message doesn’t actually contain the information necessary. I can see a link explaining how great the 4G and Wifi Calling is, but nothing to activate it.
So, I start up a LiveChat with one of their Tech Gurus, who tell me that it’s still showing I’ve got Tu connected to my account, and that needs to be removed before I can do anything. No worries though, they’ll sort it out. Give it about half an hour, reboot the phone, it’ll be done.
Except it wasn’t.
So I got back in touch with O2, this time by phone instead of LiveChat. Oh dear, oh dear.
I (eventually) got through to another of their Tech Gurus, who again says that Tu is still connected to my account, and that I have to uninstall the TuGo app on my phone in order to get rid of the connection. No idea why the previous tech person said they could do it, that’s not possible, it can only be done from your phone, sir.
So I uninstall the app, in the usual way. Oh no, sir, you haven’t uninstalled it. You’ll need to go back to the app store, reinstall the app so you can uninstall it. (Eh? What?) Yes, you’ll need to reinstall the app – you didn’t uninstall it, “you just deleted the little picture on your phone”. That’s a direct quote. From a Tech “Guru”. Who doesn’t appear to even know the word “icon”.
So. Let’s see how this goes. Phone call goes to speakerphone, so I can go through the process while the “Guru” is still on the call, and telling me what I need to do. I reinstall the app – and in order to get in to it, I have to rebuild the connection and association with my number – because uninstalling the app has got rid of all that information . Which is exactly as it should be.
I rebuild the connection, then go into the app’s Settings and Delete the Account. The Guru says “Oh there we go, I can see you’ve now uninstalled the app”. No, I haven’t, I’ve deleted the account. The app is still installed, I can see it. “No, it’s uninstalled”
All the way through the call, that “Guru” couldn’t tell the difference between “Delete the Account/Connection” and “Uninstall the App”.
It’s resulted in two further interactions with layers of O2 management, telling them the problems, fixing the issues, and generally getting it more sorted.
And all the way through this, all it would have taken was for that “My Device” webpage saying “You’ve still got an active connection to TuGo – you need to remove that before we can progress. Here’s how.” That would’ve fixed everything, and I wouldn’t have needed to speak to O2 at all, let alone a total of four times.
Sometimes I just despair of people, and companies.
Murdered And Left To Die
Posted: Fri 22 September, 2017 Filed under: Domestic, Literacy, Milton Keynes, News, People, Stupidity Leave a comment »Every so often, it’s my misfortune to go onto a local news site – in this case the MK Citizen – to find out about something that’s going on.
However, sometimes the ‘other news’ section produces gems of the lost art of sub-editing, like this…
Now OK, it’s a terrible story and so on. But really, “murdered and left to die”?!? Fuck sake. That one’s not even difficult to parse and go “Hang on, if he was murdered, he was already dead, and couldn’t have been left to die.“. Or is that just me?
New Boots
Posted: Wed 30 August, 2017 Filed under: 2016/17, Do More, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Getting Organised, Gigs, London, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel, Walking, Weigh Less Leave a comment »As I’ve mentioned before, at the end of September I’ll be doing the Shine Nightwalk marathon in London. I’m mainly looking forward to it, although I can’t deny that there’s a dose of trepidation to balance things out a bit.
Anyway, following a particularly ill-fated walk last week, I discovered that my boots – the ones I was planning to do the marathon in – are pretty much destroyed inside, to the extent that they’d caused me some really unpleasant blisters during that walk.
So of course that’s meant I’ve had to buy new boots for walking, and now have to break them in over the next couple of weeks in order to be ready for the end of the month. Thankfully, the ones I prefer are more like trainers inside, rather than being hard-core ‘proper’ walking boots, so the process shouldn’t be too complex/painful. (Crossing my fingers like no-one’s business there)
In fairness, it’s not the first time this has happened when I’m doing one of my bigger walks – I should know better by now. Indeed, the first 10km walk I did, the boots I was planning to use fell apart on the morning of the walk, so I ended up doing it in my normal everyday Cat boots instead, and came to no harm. But still, a marathon is four-and-a-half times that distance, so I’m trying to be a bit more prepared. (Not massively so, but enough that I don’t make a complete twadge of it all)
Anyway, the new boots arrived yesterday – fairly impressed, ordered them on Saturday through Cotswold – they were even on a better online price than expected – for supply to the local Cotswold store, and they arrived as expected, even over a Bank Holiday weekend. And the wearing-in process starts today.
The proper test will be on the weekend, when I’ll be using them to walk from Euston Station to Tobacco Dock (four miles, give or take, depending on which route I aim for) for Meatopia, then five-ish back to Camden for a concert – and then a similar Euston -> Tobacco Dock and back on Sunday for the same thing. If they’re not broken in by then, I’m going to have problems.
There are a couple of other walks between now and the end of the month (I changed some plans around to give me time to do so) and all should be fine by then. But we’ll know more when it happens…
Lightly Battered
Posted: Mon 28 August, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Food, Health, London, People, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel, Walking Leave a comment »On Thursday, I walked with friends to the National Burger Day event, and slightly broke myself along the way.
The walk (from Euston to Canada Square) should be about 5 miles. However, it’s not a location I’ve walked to before, and I hadn’t prepared properly for doing so, so I made a couple of mistakes. We were going in generally the correct direction, just by a less-direct route than it could/should have been.
Additionally, it was a bloody warm day, I hadn’t got any water with me, and (as it turned out) my walking boots were pretty much dead, so I ended up knackered, hot, sore, and (by the end) pretty dehydrated. Which also added to the mistakes in the route-finding and map-reading. All told, that walk ended up being just under 8 miles. So yes, definitely not my finest day, by a long chalk.
When we eventually got to the pub we’d planned to stop at, I was – not to put too fine a point on it – fucked. I drank two and a half litres of water just while we sat there. That’s never a good sign. (Also, it turns out that my hands swell when I’m dehydrated, which is kind of odd, but good to know for future reference)
We still did the event, and it was OK – but there wasn’t anything that massively stood out for me, to be honest. As a result, I think there’s going to be some changes for me going forwards, but that’s going to be a post for another day, when I’ve thought about it some more. Change is afoot, to be sure.
When we were done, we decided to get the Tube back to Euston, and home. Much more sensible. And once I got home, taking off the boots and finding just how twatted my feet were was… interesting, and not entirely pleasant.
I’d say I’ll use it as a learning experience, and never do the same thing again, but we all know that’s not true, and that at some point in the future I’ll do something equally stupid. Or more so.
Updates
Posted: Mon 19 June, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Geeky, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »Yesterday, I was a bit stumped about what to write for today – but luckily, AVG came to my rescue.
It put up a notice yesterday on my screen telling me that six of my installed programs were out of date – which is kind of a surprise, as I’m normally pretty good at that kind of thing.
Then I read the message properly…
You’ll need to click on it to embiggenify and make it properly readable – but basically, all six programs it was telling me were out of date were actually *more* up to date than the ones it wanted me to install.
So no, I don’t think I will ‘update’ them to keep my machine safe. For fuck’s sake.
On Being A Cretin
Posted: Wed 7 June, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Do More, Domestic, Finances, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Getting Organised, Health, Milton Keynes, People, Stupidity, Weigh Less Leave a comment »With life taking several turns over the last year, I’d given up a bit on going to the gym. OK, I’d given up on it a lot. So I’d put my membership on hiatus, paying a small maintenance fee rather than the full monthly amount. (Because while I’m definitely an idiot, as will be shown shortly, I’m not a complete idiot) It meant I wouldn’t have to pay a re-joining fee etc., and could reactivate things really easily once I was back to being in the mood for it.
Last month, I decided I wanted to get back to going. Again, a number of reasons, but mainly just realising I wanted to do more, as well as some preparation for my idiot event in September – of which more later.
So I went to the PureGym website, logged in, and reactivated my membership. Oddly, I had to pay a joining fee again, but I thought I’d just not read the terms and conditions properly, and it’s not a huge amount, so there we go. The proper payment comes out of my bank about a week later, and all good. Job done, I’m going back to the gym from June 1st.
Come June 1st, I look at my bank account, and there’s that maintenance charge again. Weird. Maybe it’s connected to that billing cock-up where I paid a joining fee.
So I call PureGym, to try and find what’s going on. They tell me that the Direct Debit reference I’ve given them isn’t connecting to any of their records, so they’ll need more information from the bank, to know where that DD started, where it’s going etc. Annoying, but indicative that a significant cock-up has occurred.
I ring the bank, and speak to someone there. Let’s cancel that under the DD guarantee, here’s the details, it’s a Direct Debit for The Gym… And a light goes on in my head. I’m a cretin.
For whatever reason, I’ve got “PureGym” in my head as the one I’m going to. (And it’s one I was a member of, in two different locations) Only that’s not the one I’m using. I’m using “The Gym”, and that’s where the maintenance payment’s come from. So I’ve re-joined a gym I don’t want, and not restarted the membership of the gym I do want. For fuck’s sake.
The lady at the bank (having laughed) reinstated the DD for the Gym, and re-paid the money to them that’d gone out that day. Then I went back to PureGym, explained that I’m a complete idiot, what had happened, and asked if it was possible to get my money and joining fee back from them. No problem if not, we’d class it as an idiot tax, but if possible it’d be great.
And they did. It’s not a standard thing, but I’d not used the gym, it was still on the first full day of “membership”, and – I suspect most importantly – I’d admitted it was entirely my fault, and that I’m a moron. (It also made them laugh, which is fine)
All told, I got lucky in many ways. I’m lucky that (in general) my bank are pretty good on this stuff. I’m lucky that both gyms in question are month-to-month ones rather than contracts. I’m lucky that the people in both cases were nice, and obviously far more used to people shouting and swearing, and making out it’s all Their fault.
I’ve not lost anything (except some self-respect) and it’s all worked out. But man alive, do I feel like an absolute cretin.
On Dealing With FitBit
Posted: Fri 2 June, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Domestic, Health, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »This week, I was unlucky enough to have to try and deal with FitBit‘s idiotic e-commerce system. I’ve had a Fitbit for several years now (well, two or three devices over that time, but all Fitbit devices) and the strap on the current one is getting a bit ropy, so I wanted to order a new one.
The ordering part is… OK, I suppose. Then we get to entering addresses. It tells me that it can’t validate my preferred delivery address at all, and won’t progress the order any further. Not “Would you like to add this address to the system?” or “Please confirm the details, and we’ll accept your word for it that you know where the hell you work“. Just point-blank ‘Computer says No‘ dead-end. So far, so unhelpful.
In fairness, that should’ve been the warning sign. But I carried on. Rather than delivering to my office, I’ll set it to deliver to home. That’s OK, except for the standard “Royal Mail PAF says this address should be in [nearest city], so do you want to use that, or the info you’ve entered”. I’m used to that – it’s ridiculous, but it’s PAF, so I’m used to it, and it’s not going to change.
Enter in the card details, all well and good. Do the ‘Verified By Visa’ bag-o’-shite verification, and complete the transaction. Get the email saying “It’s on its way”. Happy day, job done.
Or so I thought…
Half an hour later, I get another email. “There’s a problem with this transaction”, saying that either…
- The billing address provided doesn’t match the address on file with your financial institution (No, it matches fine)
- Your financial institution denied the charge for unspecified reasons (OK, maybe)
- Your financial institution denied the charge due to insufficient funds (Nope, definitely not)
- Your financial institution doesn’t recognise Fitbit.com as a vendor (that sounds like cock to me)
I call the card company. Nope, all fine, not even a declined transaction. And “doesn’t recognise the vendor” is a bag of cock. To quote them, “If it were for ISIS-Iraq.com, we might be blocking it, but not standard stuff”
I call FitBit, who are *massively* incompetent, unable to understand basic English, and can only “resubmit the transaction”. Can’t change the card details, just ‘resubmit it’.
“OK sir, that’s gone through fine, so you’ll get a confirmation in a minute”
“Has it actually gone through the card company this time?”
“Yes, it’s gone through fine”
“What’s the transaction authorisation code?”
“We don’t know yet, it hasn’t gone to the bank”
“……”
So…. Fitbit, these <sarcasm>masters of eCommerce</sarcasm>, don’t do the card transactions immediately. They cache them, for some fuckforsaken reason. And no-one knows ’til then what’ll happen.
When I checked the resubmitted one, the phone cretin had also decided to change the address for billing and delivery to the PAF-recommended one (without even asking) so I ended up talking to them again, they edited the order, and ‘confirmed the transaction’ again (i.e. re-submitted it, and played wait’n’see with the cards)
That failed too, unsurprisingly. Same email, you need to speak to us, same list of possible reasons. Card company re-confirms that absolutely nothing has touched the account – they’ve had a 1p pre-authorisation amount go through, which verifies the card details, but after that, nothing else has been received by them at all.
In the end, I’ve called Fitbit (again!) and just cancelled the order. There’s better and quicker ways to do this. Hell, I can get a pikey knock-off strap through Amazon for a tenth of the price, and it’d be delivered tomorrow.
The really telling thing though, for me, was that when I cancelled the order, there’s not even a process for it. No questions about why I want to cancel, no attempt to keep the order, nothing. Just “OK, that’s cancelled. You’ll get an email telling you so”. That tells you everything you need to know about whether a company gives a shit or not.
Missing The Point
Posted: Wed 24 May, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, News, Stupidity Leave a comment »A brief extra post, containing the headline of the day (from this story on Metro) …
Someone may have just missed the point there…
PIDU – Lift Control
Posted: Mon 22 May, 2017 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, I Don't Understand, People, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »[PIDU = People I Don’t Understand]
There are many, many types of people I don’t understand – or at least whose thought processes are beyond me. That’s the theme of the PIDU posts (as mentioned here, although I’ll probably repeat this a few times) and may also become a bit of a throwback to the rants of yore.
This one’s a bit more niche – I work in a tall building, which has lifts (elevators, whatever you prefer) and it gobsmacks me on a regular basis how many people seem incapable of operating it with any form of common sense.
Primarily, this relates to people waiting on whatever floor for the lift. The lift lobby on each floor (well, except for the ground and top floors, obviously) has two call buttons – one to go up, one to go down. And, despite lifts having been in existence for more than 150 years, so many people seem to think it’ll work to hit both call buttons, rather than just the one in the direction they want to go in.
Of course this means that these fucking dipshits get in a lift going up, and expect it to be going down, as that’s the direction they actually want. If they’d only hit the sodding down button, it would work better, rather than them either getting on and going up before going down, or stopping to let them on, realising it’s going in the ‘wrong’ direction, and then getting off again.
But really, how can people not know how these sodding call buttons work, and what they mean?
Knocked Down
Posted: Tue 21 February, 2017 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Health, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel Leave a comment »After the events of last week, I pretty much exhausted myself – as evidenced by the fact that since then I’ve been dealing with a heavy cold and nascent chest infection. It started up on the evening of the Thursday, once we were back from the Fat Duck. (Of which more in other post, most likely)
As usual, basically it all kicked in once I’d stopped. It’s pretty standard with me – I can keep on going for as long as I have to, and then once I’m done, it’ll all catch up and whack me with a hammer.
I was rough on the Friday, and the Saturday was the worst, although I hadn’t realised how bad it was until too late. I’d been at the parents and doing some other stuff, and started to drive home. I’d not been feeling great, but it was only once I was driving that I knew it wasn’t good. I’d burned myself out completely, and all I could do was just get home and that was it.
For the first time in at least a decade (and that’s something else I’ll come back to in another post) I found myself thinking that I wished I’d got someone else around, someone to call on, so I could get home safely. It didn’t happen, of course, so I just got on with the task in hand, and got myself home.
I’m truly not proud of it, of having carried on and done the dumb thing instead of pulling into a layby or whatever and having a sleep. I did get home, and did so safely, with no problems. But that was, to be honest, more by luck than judgement. I honestly can’t remember at least half the drive, but I know that if anything had gone awry, I’d have remembered it, so that’s kind-of sort-of reassuring in some warped way.
I effectively took Sunday off after that, changed all my plans so I could do as close to sod-all as I’d let myself do, and it was needed.
It’s all on the mend now, but man, that weekend was really no fun at all.
Advertising Standards
Posted: Sat 27 August, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Customer Services, Domestic, Food, Getting Organised, Loyalty Schemes, Marketing, OpenTable, Pedantry, Solo Dining, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »With the whole “Solo Dining” project I’ve been doing this year, one of my bugbears has become OpenTable (who provide a lot of the table-reservation services for restaurants) and – more particularly – their “Dining Points” loyalty plan.
As it says on that page about Dining Points,
OpenTable UK members can earn OpenTable Dining Points when they make and honor reservations made through opentable.com, or our related mobile sites and apps.
They say the same thing on another modal window to explain Dining Points.
“Earn points every time you dine”
Except that’s not true – not true at all. I queried why I’d received zero points for several reservations over the last year, and they then started to say (and this is a direct quote from one of the responses)
points are only given to diners who start their search on our website and not the restaurants website as you know. This is because as you came from the restaurant website, you are considered a customer of the restaurant and they use our services on the back end to take your reservation for them. If we started awarding points to the customers of our clients they would feel that we are trying to steal you as a customer.
So OpenTable are, frankly, liars. They say clearly throughout the site “make a booking through OpenTable, and get points“, with no provisos, asterisks, or get-out clauses. This isn’t even me being pedantic about something – they’ve said something (repeatedly, in black-and-white!) that’s simply not true.
This would’ve been an easy fix for OpenTable, if they’d had any sense at all. If they’d said “Oh, sod, sorry, here, have the points, and we’ll make that text clearer“, we’d be done. But no, they started backtracking, patronising, and explaining why I was so wrong to believe their “Get points every time you book” spiel. No apology, no “thanks for letting us know“, nothing. All the customer-service skills of a concrete monolith.
Having hit that concrete monolith with no joy, I decided to take it further. Having checked their criteria, I raised it with the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority) and I’ve now had a confirmation from them that, having done an initial review, they’re going to investigate it further.
So, that’s going to be entertaining. I’m assuming that getting an ASA investigation done isn’t a trivial step, nor one that the ASA do for the fun of it. I’m also assuming that, because they’re investigating, the complaint has at least some merit.
As and when I hear back, I’ll write more here…
Slack Data
Posted: Fri 10 June, 2016 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Laziness, People, Privacy, SatNav, Security, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel Leave a comment »In the car I hired last weekend, it had a load of built-in tech – Ford’s Sync system – that was quite interesting, not least for the fact that it worked really nicely and easily. Connecting my phone to the car was a doddle, the satnav worked well (and better than my usual stand-alone device in several ways) and it all just seemed pretty easy.
However. It’s obvious that it was designed for a standard “family car” scenario, rather than a vehicle that would be hired to many different users. Which makes sense, but leads to an interesting longer-term problem…
Basically, people are lazy – and don’t think about their data. So the convenience of connecting one’s phone to the car system for hands-free calls etc is great, as is the simple download of the phone’s address book to the system. But if you then don’t delete it when you take the car back to the hire place, it’s all available to the next user. The same applies to the satnav system – ‘recent destinations’ is a goldmine of activity, right down to house number and location. (And I suspect, with a bit of work, one could connect the destination to a phone number in that downloaded phonebook)
It just interests me, how little people care (or understand) about their information. I cleared down the whole car system before I returned it, which took less than five minutes all told. So it’s not much work, but it’s still work, which most people don’t seem willing to undertake.
I’ve suggested to the hire company that it should perhaps be part of the car sanitising process when it’s returned (or before it’s hired back out, whichever) although I realise that makes it more hassle for them, and there’s a lot of different setups in the various cars.
Of course, it’d be better if people cleaned up after themselves – or the car tech had a “forget everything” button/process (although that would still be too much effort for most people) that did the job. But that won’t happen until people realise how important this shit can be, and sadly that tends to only happen by negative paths/occurrences/events, and will always be learned too late.
Wipers
Posted: Sat 4 June, 2016 Filed under: BMW Drivers, Cynicism, Driving, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel Leave a comment »As regular readers know, I have a few guidelines when it comes to spotting drivers who are likely to be idiots – I know it’s a lot of horrible generalising and stereotyping, but at the same time, stereotypes exist for a reason.
The current list is
- BMW drivers
- Citroen Picasso drivers (I’m sure that if BMW made a people-carrier, Xsara/Picasso sales would drop to zero immediately)
- Drivers wearing hats in the car
- Cars with a Christian Fish emblem/badge/sticker
With the rotten weather of the last couple of months, I’ve added a new one
- Drivers who, at the first sign of rain, whack their windscreen wipers straight to double-speed
I don’t know what goes through people’s minds in these situations – surely when it’s just spray/drizzle and they’re at double speed, the whining/scraping noise must drive them crackers.
Still, none of it is my problem – as long as I notice these things, and pay more attention to these people on the roads, then it’s OK and handled.
Second Thoughts
Posted: Thu 21 April, 2016 Filed under: 1BEM, Charity, Cynicism, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), London, Stupidity 1 Comment »As I wrote a while back, I’ve signed up to the NSPCC’s “Climb the Gherkin” challenge in about eight weeks’ time. It involves walking (or, if you’re a lunatic, running) up the 38 flights of stairs inside the Gherkin in London to get to the top.
It’s fair to say, I’m having some doubts and second thoughts about the wisdom of it. It’s a lot of steps…
I’ve looked it up – because I’m an idiot – and now know that it’s over 1,000 steps to the top, and that’s making it all a bit real. There’s a lot of me to lift up that many steps, and really not many places where you can get to train or prepare for something like that.
I’ll still go, and I’m sure I’ll complete the challenge. It’s just that it might destroy me along the way…
Negative Company
Posted: Tue 5 April, 2016 Filed under: Charm School, Day Trips, Domestic, People, Stupidity, Travel Leave a comment »On Sunday, I travelled down to Reading, lending immoral support to a friend who was running the Reading Half Marathon. (and did bloody well!) It was her first time running it, and I was at the end of the last hill of the run, on one of the main junctions. As it was, I got to stand next to a couple who were the most unremittingly negative people I’ve listened to since my grandparents were around. *Everything* was bad. (I bet they read the Daily Mail. And agree with it)
Highlights were :…
“Well, I won’t be pleased for her if she’s running it this slowly” and “These people in fancy dress are just detracting from the seriousness of the race” Yes, they seriously said that – and with no sense of humour whatsoever.
However, my absolute favourite was her saying to him “What’s the next time marker?” and he responded “The last one was 1hr 55, so the next will be 1hr 60” (or two hours, as it’s known to most sane people) and said in all seriousness, not a stupid comment like I’d do. Pompous bellend.
The finale was when other people appeared and stood in their oh-so-precious sightline, to which he tutted loudly, and complained (loudly) about how some people were so selfish, it was outrageous, just turning up and standing in front of others. (Bear in mind that they could’ve moved forwards too, due to there being loads of room. But no, that would’ve been far too understanding)
I think my “muttered” comment of “Well, you could always fuck off” may* (*bloody well was) have been heard, as they tutted and sodded off quite soon afterwards.
Heavy Mileage
Posted: Sun 3 April, 2016 Filed under: Day Trips, Domestic, Health, London, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel Leave a comment »This weekend’s been a busy one, what with one thing and another.
Saturday was supposed to be quiet – because Sunday was already planned with a day-trip to Reading and had other stuff going on – but I wanted to do something. So, being an idiot, I opted for a day-trip to London, primarily to see the Wildlife Photographer of the Year photos at the Natural History Museum, which I hadn’t been to in at least twenty years.
The idiot part is primarily that I decided to walk there – from Euston to Natural History Museum. And back. That’s 7km each way, plus whatever else I wanted to do. I just thought “well, I can do 5km easily, so the other 2km will be easy” – forgetting that 2km is another mile-and-a-bit.
Of course, I managed it, and I enjoyed the exhibition – but I’d miscalculated a few other things along the way. I’d not realised that it was in the school holidays, and I didn’t think there’d be so many people and children going to a museum on the first really decent warm/sunny day of the year.
So, having walked there, it was then a case of moving slowly through a 40-minute queue to get in to the place, which did an excellent job of reminding me why I’ve never wanted children. The exhibition itself was good – but by then I didn’t want to spend too much more time in the area, there were just too many people and spawn around.
That decision made – and having acknowledged that I was rather more knackered than I’d expected – I opted for walking back to Euston (see, I said I was an idiot) rather than the extra bit of walking I’d planned, to go back to the South Bank as well. That’ll wait ’til I’m next in London, which is only a couple of weeks away anyway.
Another 7km did pretty much stuff me, though – I can’t deny it.
All told, Saturday involved walking no less than 21km (slightly over 13 miles) – and I knew I was planning to walk a fair bit more on Sunday (of which more in another post) which made it all even sillier.
It was a good day, and I’m glad I did it, but yeah, Saturday night was pretty painful. I just won’t learn…
2016 Q1
Posted: Fri 1 April, 2016 Filed under: 2015/16, Business, Car Repairs, Do More, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Getting Organised, Health, London, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel, Weigh Less, Weight Loss, Write More Leave a comment »So here we are, in April already. A quarter of the year gone.
The first three months have been fairly awkward and problematic in some ways, but all told it’s still been a success – although in some ways it’s been a case of looking at grey clouds and finding a silver lining. Work and so on have stayed stable, it’s just other non-work stuff that hasn’t gone as well.
The worst (or at least most frustrating) part has been the car – thankfully that now appears to be sorted, but it’s been an expensive quarter, with repeated re-visits to the garage, along with replacement parts and so on.
I did have plans for writing more and so on, but they haven’t materialised. I’ve done a couple of things and started with some ideas and the like, but the intended plan hasn’t happened. Hopefully the next three months will let me write more, if I’ve got the time and inspiration.
Health-wise, I’ve slacked off a lot on going to the gym and so on. I’ve had a bundle of colds and coughs throughout the last few months, and every time I’ve thought “Ok, that’s finally gone”, I’ve picked up another one. That’s not been fun, but there we go. Admittedly, a lack of gymmage hasn’t resulted in any weight gains – everything has stayed in exactly the same place it was while I was going to the gym regularly. That’s been another thing that’s not helped on the motivational front – if it’s not making any difference one way or t’other, it becomes less important to go.
I do need to get back to it, and doing other stuff as well – because I’m a loon, and have just signed up to the NSPCC’s challenge to walk/run (OK, walk) up the 38 floors of the Gherkin on Sunday 19th June. I must be fucking barmy. This is the kind of thing that happens when Marie Curie aren’t doing their 10km walks. I blame them. 🙂 That’s in ten weeks time, so I need to do some stuff pretty quickly…
Anyway, it’s been an interesting first three months of the year. There’s some interesting challenges coming up – not least that bloody Gherkin challenge – in the next three months, and I just hope it’s a bit more positively motivated than the first three have been.
Time will tell…
Security Stupidity
Posted: Thu 24 March, 2016 Filed under: 1BEM, Design, Laziness, Milton Keynes, People, Security, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »Every so often, I’ll see a scenario that just leaves me utterly gobsmacked. Sadly, they’re usually based around security of some sort – for whatever reason, it’s something I’m generally pretty tuned in to, and aware of.
Yesterday’s one was an absolute blinder – and caused by a complete lack of thought/awareness.
While I was walking at lunchtime, the person in front of me was paying a bill over the phone. Using hands-free, so it was all done out loud. (I don’t quite get why some people use hands-free for conversations on mobiles while walking – particularly when they’re still holding the mouthpiece to their mouths anyway. People be weird)
That wasn’t so bad – he was entering the card details using the keypad, so in that aspect it was fairly secure. Not how I’d have chosen to do it, but hey, I’m not one to judge.
The bit where it all went tits up, though, was that the payment line then reads the numbers back to the user, as a confirmation. “If this is correct, press 1“.
It’s a scenario where the developers etc. have thought about how to confirm the card data, and it makes sense to read it back. They’ve just not seen the real-world situations where people then do these things in public, on hands-free speakers. But it meant that – were I a bad person – I’d have all of that guy’s card information (it even read back the CV2 validation number) which I could have made use of.
And in case anyone’s wondering, I did tap him on the shoulder when he’d finished the call, and explained that he really should get that card changed ASAP. If I could hear it, or if he does that on a regular basis, then the card is compromised, and it’s only fair to make him aware of it.
It’s up to him, of course – but the fact I told him his card number, expiry date, and CV2 (correctly – I really do need to get out more) certainly seemed to focus his mind somewhat…
Missing Letters
Posted: Wed 3 February, 2016 Filed under: Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Getting Organised, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »Way back in early December, I posted a couple of letters, both by Royal Mail Special Delivery – a service that tracks the letter, requires a signature on delivery, and is guaranteed to be delivered the next working day by 1pm.
In my case, one letter arrived, and the other didn’t.
After a week, I raised this with Royal Mail through Twitter, and they were… pretty slack, to be fair. The letter had disappeared into the system, they needed to investigate, blah blah. At no point did the words “sorry” pass their (online) lips.
Another week or so passed, and they came back with “we can’t find it, can’t you check with the recipients whether they’ve received it or not“. Which is taking the piss, as that was the entire reason for sending the sodding thing by Special Delivery in the first place. And still, no sorry.
I ended up having to file a compensation claim with Royal Mail – again, the person who paid for the service has to jump through all the hoops, fill in the forms and so on – and wait even more. Still no “sorry”.
I finally got the response today to that compensation claim. They’ve taken six weeks to acknowledge that this “guaranteed service” isn’t, has failed, and I’ve finally got my money back.
The kicker, in my opinion, is that in that letter they say…
“If you need to cover yourself against this in future, I suggest you send items by Special Delivery “Guaranteed”
So the fucking clowns recommend I use the service that lost this letter in the first place – because it’s better. What the fuck?
All told, the customer-service experience of this process has been abysmal.
- It’s taken nearly two months to get this sorted
- Once we were past that ‘guaranteed delivery’ timeline, it should’ve been an automatic process to say “Yep, we fucked up, here’s your money back”
- If you can’t guarantee delivery, don’t guarantee delivery.
- If you don’t trust your own tracking systems and still require ‘proof’ that the item was posted into the system, you’re doing it wrong
Desperate and Gullible
Posted: Tue 26 January, 2016 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, Marketing, News, People, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »It was interesting yesterday to see the BBC’s piece about the growing prevalence of ‘online rental fraud’ – basically, where a fraudster/criminal advertises a rental property for a great price, and people then pay a deposit for it without ever seeing the property – because it’s a great price in a sought-after area.
You can see where this is going, can’t you?
Yep – the fraudster doesn’t own the property, doesn’t represent the agents, and has no real connection to it at all. They’ve just grabbed photos, submitted the ad, and then people pay the ‘deposit’ into an account named by the fraudster.
Now, while I think it’s pretty scummy, I can’t help but also see it as more of an idiot tax. You’ve got to be pretty desperate – and pretty fucking dim – to put down money without seeing the place you’re renting, particularly without ever meeting an agent/agency/landlord etc. I know that these people are good at getting people to believe they’re valid, and that there’s this urgency – but really, it’s still taking advantage of people too dumb to look at a deal and think “what’s wrong with this picture?”
Maybe that’s harsh. Maybe not. For me, it’s hard to feel real sympathy for someone who just leaves themselves open to this sort of shit. Take a look at what one victim says in the article…
[He] said: “I was willing to take the flat without a viewing based on the location, just on the price of it.
[I felt] anger, disgust, I was really disappointed. I was thinking, ‘Wow I’ve spent money I couldn’t afford and what’s happening to me right now? I’m in a nightmare and I can’t wake up’.'”
I think the worst part, probably, is that now it’s been mentioned by BBC and on TV, it’s something that other scammers will look at and thing “Oooh, that’s a good idea”, so it’ll become even more prevalent…
Cinema Seating
Posted: Sun 27 December, 2015 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Films, People, Seeing Films, Stupidity, Weirdness 2 Comments »This year, my local cinema has started a process where people book specified seats, rather than just “first come, first served seated” I don’t mind it at all, it makes sense and should make life easier for everyone.
Except, well, people.
Every film I’ve gone to see, there’s been a noticeable percentage of the people who either don’t sit in their booked seats (for whatever reason) or just seem to be confused by the whole concept of how the seats are organised into rows.
It’s a simple process – or is to me, anyway. If you stand at the front, with your back to the screen, the seats go from row A at the front to row Z (or whatever) at the back, and from 1 on the left to 100 on the right. It’s simple, but it confuses so many people, it’s really quite scary.
Really, is this concept so difficult to comprehend?
Privacy Breach
Posted: Wed 2 September, 2015 Filed under: 1BEM, Agency Idiocy, Business, Corbett, Customer Services, Geeky, Laziness, Marketing, People, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »Yet again, today there’s a story about another place revealing a confidential list of customers in emails – and as usual, in what’s known as a Corbett round here (courtesy of a certain Irish marketing person) it’s looking like the leaker sent the email using CC instead of BCC.
In this case, the information is even more sensitive than usual, as it’s people who’ve used a particular STI clinic in London, and may have also revealed their HIV status. Oh, bloody whoops.
It amazes me how often this seems to happen – and how easy it should be to fix.
The first answer is, obviously, train people.
But after that, it’s about defending against laziness and stupidity. But even that’s pretty easy.
All it really needs is a block on recipients in CC. If you’re sending an email and it’s got more than (say) 10 addresses in the CC field, it simply asks if you’re sure you want to send it with those people in CC rather than BCC. That’s an email-client thing – but is easy to do.
It can’t be that difficult – my own email clients all already ask if I want to send an email with no attachments if the message contains keywords like ‘attached’ or ‘CV’, after all.
A similar thing could be done on the mail-server as well – put in a rule that if there’s more than [defined limit] of addresses in the CC, it doesn’t send without an authorisation, an acknowledgement that this is OK.
There will still be the odd blithering fucktrumpet who manages to send out a whole mailing-list in CC (or even To) – but at least make it harder for them to do so.
Surely that’s not asking too much?
Shoe Issues
Posted: Mon 24 August, 2015 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Customer Services, Domestic, Getting Old(er), Health, Milton Keynes, Stupidity Leave a comment »Since doing the 10km walk for Marie Curie, my feet have been having some issues, which have been no fun.
In the preparation for the walk, my feet had gained some hard skin areas, which – like a twat – I’d picked apart. To stop them from hurting or getting worse on the walk, I put on a couple of blister plasters – whose glue melted off during the walk, and actually caused the blisters I ended up with. Oops.
The blisters cleared up and healed quickly, but left some weaker spots of skin, which have then been a bit of an issue.
Basically, the Cat boots I’ve had this year haven’t been anywhere near as good as usual, and the lining had dissolved in places – again, causing blisters in the bits that rubbed, and those weaker spots of skin. Because I’d bought them from Schuh, I was able to take them back to the store, and they’ve exchanged them for a new pair without question – which is pretty stunning customer service, in my opinion. However, because they’d died, I had worn an older pair for the day – and that exacerbated the problem tenfold.
Because I’m an idiot – so I’d walked a lot in those old, old boots, with their worse wear. I didn’t think anything of it ’til the end of the day, when I got home – at which point I had blood-filled blisters on blisters. Pretty skanky, and very sore. As a result, yesterday I spent the day doing amazingly little, and just giving my feet some recovery time. Which seems to have been a fairly good plan, all things considered. I didn’t even do half my normal walking for the day – which I feel bad about, but at least it was for a vaguely good reason.
All this has been within a couple of weeks – it’ll all heal, but it’s been a painful time because of my own stupidity (and some ropy build quality along the way).
So really this post is just a reminder to future me to not be such a fucking idiot, and to take more damn care of my own feet.
And that’s it.
Make Up Your Damn Mind 2
Posted: Thu 30 April, 2015 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Food, Stupidity, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »It seems like a developing theme (although I don’t intend it to be so) but I’ve been noticing dodgy signage/labelling this week.
This one is at a local restaurant…
So – not all day every day then
If you’re advertising a menu as “All day every day”, you can’t then qualify it as “up to 6pm on Friday and Saturday”, can you?
*sigh*
Getting Sent Home
Posted: Sat 11 April, 2015 Filed under: Cynicism, News, People, Stupidity Leave a comment »[Posted delayed, while I’m away]
One of my favourite articles this week has been the BBC’s telling of the man who air-mailed himself home from Australia – and nearly died several times over.
It’s a gob-smacking tale – and beautifully written – that makes you wonder at both the desperation to leave Australia, and the sheer madness of how he did it.
I won’t ruin the tale – it’s a good ‘un.
Missing Limb
Posted: Mon 30 March, 2015 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Getting Organised, Stupidity, Technology, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »This morning I somehow managed to leave my phone at home. (Well, I hope it’s at home – otherwise I’ve done something really stupid with it)
It’s quite an odd feeling really – you only realise how much you use the damn thing when it’s not there. The ubiquity of a smartphone for simple things is suddenly noticeable.
Already today I’ve had several thoughts of “Oh, I’ll just get the phone and…”, followed by the realisation that I can’t.
Calling it a “missing limb” is a bit hyperbolic, but it’s definitely a feeling of something missing, something you’re used to having around that’s not there any more.
I’ll be fine – it’s not like I’m surgically attached or anything – but every so often something will jar, and I’ll think “Bollocks” again.
Let’s just hope the damn thing is at home. I’m sure it is, but there’s that nagging ‘what if you did something dumb?‘ mental voice going on…
Energy Madness
Posted: Sat 14 February, 2015 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Domestic, Finances, nPower, Stupidity, Thoughts, Utilities, Weirdness 2 Comments »Since moving to the new (current) place, I’ve had an ongoing (and too depressing for words) set of issues and disputes with nPower. These have included, but not limited to
- Not having the correct name on the account for eighteen months, despite repeated requests to change it
- Losing documentary proof (including my tenancy agreement) of my address. Originals were insisted upon, sent recorded delivery, signed for, and then lost. Hard to place blame anywhere except nPower
- Billing issues – my bills went up, down, sideways, and every way except correctly
- Misrepresentation – sending a meter reader into my house under the guise of being someone to do ‘legal gas meter checks’. (This was also while the bill/account was in the wrong name, so there was also some issues legally around that)
- A meter reading done by a representative of nPower, who then managed to register that reading to a completely different address, and denied ever having done one for this house. (Despite his having done readings/visits recorded to every other house in my block at the same time)
So it’s fair to say that I regard nPower as incompetent useless dickwhistles at the best of times.
Today, though, has taken it to a whole new level.
Things have settled down somewhat, and on Tuesday I gave them a meter reading directly through the website. At that point, my account was £1.62 in credit. Happy day, all well and good.
Today I logged in for a quick check. £595.82 in credit. Um, what? So I look, and it’s got four cancelled bills, adding up to the amount in credit. Four bills I’ve received, and paid. Now cancelled. File under “Fuck, What The”
So I gave them a call. The first incompetent managed to put the phone down on me. So I called back, and finally got through to one of the (few) efficient and competent individuals who work at nPower. (I’m quite sure she won’t last long, having been actually pleasant and competent)
It turns out that – once in receipt of a valid meter reading – nPower cancel out all the estimated bills back to the previous correct reading. They then recalculate all those bills with the correct figures (although technically they must still be estimates of what was used, averaging out the figures over the number of bills) to bring everything back up to date. So for however far back, the bills get cancelled – despite having been printed, posted and paid – and then recreated. Then I’ll know what I need to pay to be up to date.
Except of course that they’ve also got to send out all those new bills. So next week I’m going to get five bills from nPower – the four reconstructed ones – as well as the one to bring me up to date.
Now, I realise that this is something that’s required by the energy regulator – but does it strike anyone else as a completely fucking barking way to run a business?
Christmas Parks
Posted: Mon 24 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Customer Services, Cynicism, Festering Season, Marketing, People, Stupidity, Sweary Leave a comment »
I don’t know when/why it started, but it now seems that part of the media’s Christmas tradition is to have a report/story about a “Christmas Park” that opens in November and closes down after one day because of its general shitness, and the resultant litany of customer complaints.
This year, the ‘honour’ has apparently gone to ‘The Magical Journey‘, which was designed/proposed by arch-tossrag Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen
But really, what does anyone expect? These arseholic fucktrumpets are paying up to £20 a head to go and ‘see Santa’ – in November, in unseasonably warm/mild weather – and then get upset that it’s muddy, that they’ve got to queue for ages to see sodding Santa, and that really it’s all – gasp! – a bit shit.
Rather than talking to Trading Standards, I’d suggest probably getting mental health professionals involved, and getting every single one of those paying customers to take a good long hard look at themselves. For fuck’s sake.
Seen In Summer
Posted: Mon 28 July, 2014 Filed under: Cyclists, Domestic, Driving, M1, People, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »Things I see regularly on my current commute that just worry me more than they possibly should…#
- Riders of powerful bikes on the M1 wearing t-shirts and shorts.
- Rear passengers in cars reclining with their legs hanging out the windows
- Front passengers reclining with their feet on the dashboard.
All of these setups worry me – in all cases, if anything were to happen, they’ll be injured far, far worse than they would be if they were sitting properly.
Of course, none of it is really my problem. I just can’t help noticing, and being somewhat concerned.
Breaking Things
Posted: Sun 13 April, 2014 Filed under: Creativity, Cynicism, Geeky, News, Security, Stupidity, Technology, Thoughts Leave a comment »Last Friday there was a big(ish) story in the BBC and Media about the convicted paedophile who is requesting his laptop – complete with ‘non-obscene’ images of one of his victims. Dorset Police were quoted in the story as saying it would be ‘unlawful’ to delete/remove those images from the laptop, because they’re not technically obscene or showing nudity.
Now, aside from the fact that there’s something so blatantly wrong with this entire process (and why wasn’t the laptop just removed/destroyed as part of the evidence and ‘proceeds of crime’ bollocks?) then surely this is a perfect opportunity for a tragic IT-related ‘accident’?
Make sure it’s believable, could happen, and is feasible, and it’d be the devil’s own job to prove anything.
For example, a liquid spillage. Or leaving the machine next to – I don’t know – some kind of large magnet. Maybe the metal scanner in a doorway. Or just mis-filed in such a way that a) it can’t be found or b) it got destroyed. Lost property, IT security, avoidance of possibility for divulging person information.
There are many, many ways in which this could’ve never been an issue. The mis-filing and “sorry, can’t find it” would be easiest (and probably hardest to be disproved) but any of them would work nicely. It’s more of a problem now, because they’ve admitted that a) it exists and b) it’s currently in an OK state. Ooops.
Mislaid
Posted: Fri 28 March, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Films, Finances, Getting Organised, Kindle, Reading, Stupidity Leave a comment »I am, on occasion, a bloody idiot. Last night was a prime example of that.
I went to the cinema to see the new Captain America film, and also had a meal. Because I was out like that, I took my Kindle, and because it was chiffing cold, I also took a jacket. (I’m normally pretty immune to cold, and don’t bother with jackets or coats at all)
When I got to the cinema, I put the jacket down by the side of the seat, with the Kindle in its inside pocket.
When I left the cinema, I also left the jacket – because it’s not in my mental software to get it, I completely forgot about it. I am, in short, a complete fucking idiot.
I went back this morning first thing (I had a day off anyway, for a number of reasons) to see if they’d found it, but no-one had handed it in. I’ll check again, just in case it’d been held over somewhere, but the odds are that the jacket and the Kindle are gone.
Of course, things could have been so much worse. It could’ve been an expensive coat/jacket, I could have left my wallet in the jacket as well. The Kindle could have had my payment details in it, or personal information. A couple of years ago, the loss of something like this would have knackered me, would have led to some financial juggling and so on just to replace it.
Now though, I’ve already registered it as lost, ordered a replacement, and it’s really not a big problem. It’s annoying – and of course a reminder that I’m a fucking idiot – but it all could have been so much worse. Indeed, it’s gone some way to showing me the changes that have happened over the last year or so, and in that, it’s no bad thing.
Pheasant Terrorism
Posted: Wed 26 March, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, News, People, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »Some days I pretty much despair of the human race. (OK, OK, most days. Nearly every day.)
Yesterday’s example was caused by this story in the BBC about a pheasant ‘terrorising’ people at a farm in Cambridgeshire.
From the story…
A delivery driver was trapped for 20 minutes after the bird blocked his way, flew at the bonnet then chased his van.
“One young girl was having her first driving lesson on our land and could not move the car because the pheasant would not leave it alone.”
“I don’t think we’ll see our delivery driver for a while either,” Mrs Hamilton added.
I’m sorry, but if you’re in a vehicle, and being ‘terrorised’ by a pheasant then
- You’re a pathetic wanker of the first order
- YOU’RE IN A CAR. Run over the sodding thing. Job done.
Flickering
Posted: Tue 4 March, 2014 Filed under: Commuting, Cyclists, Driving, Health, People, Stupidity, Technology, Weirdness Leave a comment »As I’m now working in Cambridge, I’m seeing a lot more cyclists. And a question occurred to me…
If a cyclist has one of those flashing/strobing LED cycle-lamps at a high-flash-rate, and they ride towards a driver prone to epilepsy through strobing (which isn’t something one would normally/usually expect to encounter while driving) who is responsible for any damages etc. should that driver suffer a fit at the wheel?
I’ve seen four or five cyclists already with these super-bright LED lamps set to a *very* high strobe rate, and it just made me wonder…
You Had One Job…
Posted: Sun 23 February, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, Cynicism, Pedantry, Stupidity Leave a comment »While out and about this weekend, I spotted this sign, and simply had to stop and take a picture of it…
Romans Estate Agents, you had one job, and this is what you get…
(Amusingly, their website also claims “a thorough approach to every aspect of our business”)
Benefits Street
Posted: Mon 13 January, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Stupidity, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »At the moment, Channel 4 has a documentary series called “Benefits Street”, based around one road in Birmingham where the majority of its inhabitants are – yes! – on benefits.
It’s pretty standard C4 documentary fare, and follows on from others in similar vein, including “Skint” (families in Scunthorpe who are – yes! – on benefits) and so on. And as with the other similar ones, it got Twitter, Facebook, and the media in general up in arms. The fact that all this makes for great free advertising for the programme (because people want to watch it and see what everyone else is talking about) is of course purely coincidental.
No, of course Channel4 aren’t trolling media and social media in order to boost their own viewing figures. Of course not. *cough*
I didn’t bother with it – I know pretty much what it’ll show, they’ll focus on “human interest” stories within the street, edit it to within an inch of its life, show all the stereotypes, the ‘boss’ of the street, people shoplifting, drug-growing/dealing ‘to make ends meet’ and all the rest of it.
The thing that annoyed me the most about the entire hysteria though was that people started a petition to stop Channel 4 from showing the rest of the series. Which is inherently pointless. The programme’s been made, it’s all over and done with. Hiding it away is effectively no different to hiding away the issues of people who are on benefits. More importantly, it’ll make it into more of a talking point, and boost viewing figures.
If you don’t like this kind of programme, there’s a simple answer. Don’t watch it. Don’t promote it. Don’t talk about it, don’t link to it. Don’t bitch about it. But most importantly – don’t watch it. There’s plenty of other channels and programmes. Channel4 is funded by its advertisers – by the people who want to promote their goods/products within the programme and the ad breaks. The more a programme is viewed, the more Channel4 can charge those advertisers.
If you don’t watch the programme, it doesn’t get viewers. And Channel4 won’t bother making more of a set of programmes that lose money, that don’t have viewers, and they’ll do something else instead.
It really is that simple.
Yare
Posted: Thu 19 December, 2013 Filed under: Domestic, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »I know this is something that most people will just tut and raise their eyebrows over. I also know it’s really dim of me to have not realised it before now. But anyway.
Until today, and reading this story, it’d never clicked with me that Great Yarmouth is the end of the river Yare.
It should’ve done – it’s a logical progression with *most* seaside places called “[x]mouth”, including
- Plymouth at the end of the river Plym (but we’ll ignore Portsmouth, I don’t think that counts)
- Tynemouth on the end of the Tyne
- Grangemouth being the end of the Grange Burn (and started as Grangeburnmouth, but that is – pardon the pun – quite a mouthful)
Still, for whatever reason, it hadn’t occurred.
And yes, I feel like a twat for not realising it, but such is life.
Twats
Posted: Fri 15 November, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, News, People, Stupidity Leave a comment »Sometimes it seems to me that people are just too self-absorbed to carry on breathing.
This story from the BBC, of holidaymakers walking along a jammed M11 to get to Stansted Airport is one of those times.
Widow
Posted: Thu 24 October, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Health, Media, News, People, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »This year’s symptom of the media Silly Season appears to be the “False Widow” spider, which is the UK’s most venomous spider, but is also nowhere near as poisonous/bad/evil as it’s been portrayed, along with the resultant hysteria.
For whatever reason though, it’s been all over the news, with hysterical coverage about people who’ve been bitten “and nearly died“. Of course, it’s hard to gauge how near-to-death anyone was when they actually survived – I could say I “nearly died” anytime I cough, sneeze, or have a particularly strenuous dump.
The latest ridiculously hysterical reaction was the closure of a school in the Forest of Dean because of ‘an infestation’ of false widows (for fuck’s sake)
Now yes, I’m quite sure the bite hurts – and that there are a tiny minority of people who react badly to said bites, in the same way that there’s a small selection of people who react badly to wasp stings, peanuts etc. But it’s a tiny minority who get bitten at all (most just introduce spider to literature anyway) and an even tinier minority therein who react in such a way. But if you read the media, they’re everywhere, and everyone’s being bitten.
I know, I know, it’s always been thus with the media – compare any hysterical theme story with people you actually know, and you’ll find that most of them are stories that only happen to a tiny minority. Supposedly it’s that fact that makes the stories “news”, but that hype then blows it all out of proportion/sanity, leaving idiots people with the impression it’s happening everywhere.
Sometimes I wish the media would just shut the fuck up about stupid hype-ridden hyperbolic stories, and (in an ideal world) allow people to get on with their lives without this hysterical bullshit constantly going on.
Wavering
Posted: Tue 22 October, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Driving, Getting Organised, Gigs, Introspective, London, Music, Self-Doubt, Stupidity, Travel Leave a comment »This afternoon/evening, I’m supposed to be going to see Peter Gabriel at the O2. I’ve booked the afternoon off work, I’ve paid for the parking at the O2. As an aside, I always feel that parking cost is an iniquitous extra, but such is life – while it might be feasible for me to get there by public transport, it’s completely unfeasible for the return journey.
I will go
But right now, my brain’s wavering and havering, thinking “Yeah, but…” on a number of reasons, a range of logical excuses to not go. Tired, distance, time, return time, work – it’s all in there, all making me doubt.
I will go. I want to go.
I just wish my brain would be more certain, and shut up a bit.
Legalised
Posted: Tue 22 October, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Corbett, Cynicism, D4D™, Geeky, Legal, Marketing, Stupidity, Time Leave a comment »It’s now two years since my little spat with Ian Corbett (of Toyota Ireland) and his legal advisors was completed. I said at the time that the way they’d requested things to work out wouldn’t actually get rid of the search engine results that annoyed him so much. But he’s a marketing manager, so one assumes he knows these things, and that I would be wrong.
On a random whim, I searched the other day on Google for said person – and lo, I was right. Even when searching for just name + company (with no mention of D4D™ at all) up comes D4D™ with a nice healthy 4th place in the search results. And now there’s also Google Images, I can also see what the glaikit bawbag looks like, too.
All told, I can’t deny, I do find this very amusing. And there’s nothing at all I can do about it, it’s all in the hands of That There Google.
Pulling Out
Posted: Tue 23 July, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Commuting, Driving, People, Stupidity 2 Comments »On my route to work – in particular, although I’ve noticed this phenomenon in many road/junction situations – there are a couple of junctions from which people can pull out onto the main roads, which are (of course) much faster.
I’ve noticed of late that there seem to be a significant number of drivers who either don’t look before pulling out, or look but who are incapable of actually judging the speed of oncoming vehicles. To whit, my oncoming vehicle.
I’ve actually lost count of the number of times this year where I’ve been hacking down the main road at 60, and these ball-bags just pull out in front of me, necessitating my needing to significantly slow down.
Even worse, they pull out and then just pootle along at 20 or 30 mph. I know it takes time to get up to speed – but seriously, so should they. And if you’re going to do a manoeuvre like that, you damn well make sure that you’re going to be speeding up in pretty fucking short order. (Well, I do!)
I don’t understand the logic (or lack thereof) in doing this, of pulling out in front of someone who’s already on the main road. All I can assume is that it’s either a) some innate need to be ‘first’, even if that means running the risk of being killed, b) they’re wanting an accident which would be “not their fault” in order to claim and replace their vehicle, c) an arrogance that their driving will force the other driver to slow down, d) they’re just fuckwit bastards, or e) all of the above.
Regardless, it just pisses me off.
More Broken
Posted: Fri 7 June, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Finances, Geeky, Stupidity, Technology, Thoughts Leave a comment »It’s obviously the month for tech stuff to break.
Following on from the laptop, the iPhone battery pack, and the iPhone cable, the Kindle’s just died. (I know, I know, “That doesn’t happen with books”, blah blah) My own fault, out with friends last night, had the Kindle (in a case) in my pocket all night, and somewhere along the line it’s got squished, and the screen has cracked in the way eInk ones do, so it’s no damn use to anyone.
I *should* have left it in the car, but forgot. That’s the way of things sometimes. No idea exactly when it happened, although it was probably when five of us crammed into a taxi, which was fairly tight.
Ah well, live and learn.
Bastardry
Posted: Mon 15 April, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Commuting, Domestic, Driving, People, Stupidity, Travel Leave a comment »Over the last year, one particular section of my daily commute has made me realise two things
- People are really fucking stupid
- I’m a complete bastard, and still get amused by watching stupid people screw things up
The road section is this one – Junction 13 of the M1. The particularly bad section is at the top – I come off the Motorway at the bottom right of the photo, have to go all the way round the first roundabout, over the motorway bridge, and straight over the second one to head towards home.
Junction 13 of the M1
However, rule #1 above says that people are really fucking stupid. This means that
- At least once a week, I see people on the first roundabout wanting to turn right (i.e. the same way I go), get confused, and drive back on to the M1, instead of taking the next turn off.
- Pretty much every day I see people in the wrong lanes on the first roundabout, being in the left-hand lane to turn right, right-hand lane to turn left or go straight-on, cutting lanes across the roundabout, etc. etc.
- Probably three times out of five, I’ll see people come off the other roundabout, and be totally confused about where to go next. That turn-off has two lanes – the left one to go straight on, the right one to – yes! – turn right. The number of people I follow who are in the wrong lane, and completely bemused by the junction is just unreal.
Of course, with option two there is also the – very minor – justification that it’s a confusing or badly designed junction (and in my opinion it is a bit shit) but it actually isn’t that bad. Slightly obscure, but not bad – so long as drivers read the signs and the roads. Which is, of course, the underlying problem.
And rule #2 is that I’m still a bastard. I can’t help but laugh at the fuck-knuckles who drive back onto the M1, and also (to a lesser degree) to the ones who fuck up the second roundabout.
I’m not perfect when it comes to driving – and I’d never claim to be – but at least I can read the road and don’t screw up the simple things.
Foggy
Posted: Fri 8 March, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Fog, M1, People, Stupidity, Travel Leave a comment »Last night and this morning, my drive from/to work was extremely foggy. This morning was worse, but even last night was pretty entertaining.
What always gets me though is the way people handle foggy conditions when they’re driving – particularly with regard to one of the banes of my life, foglights.
At night, it’s exceptionally rare to need foglights – they’re only for times where visibility is exceptionally low, and you’ve no chance of seeing the vehicle in front of you without the additional lights. The good old Highway Code says
Rule 236 : You MUST NOT use front or rear fog lights unless visibility is seriously reduced (see Rule 226)
Rule 226 : “You MUST use headlights when visibility is seriously reduced, generally when you cannot see for more than 100 metres (328 feet). You may also use front or rear fog lights but you MUST switch them off when visibility improves.”
With lights on at night, it’s exceptionally rare to not be able to see the car 100 metres ahead of you.Yet most of the fuckknuckle cunts are there, belting along with their foglights on.
And yet this morning, when it was actually really bad visibility, most people didn’t put their lights on at all, let alone the foglights.
I truly do not understand people.
Getting Home – Idiot
Posted: Fri 22 February, 2013 Filed under: Animals, Domestic, Stupidity Leave a comment »Getting home from the travels of the last couple of days, I discovered I’m an idiot.
Well that’s not strictly true. I’ve always known I’m an idiot. It’s a hard thing to miss, to be honest.
Anyway, the evidence in this case was as follows :
- Because I’d left at Ungodly O’Clock, I’d left one of the main lights on in the living room. Oops.
- Somehow I’d also left the kitchen window slightly unlatched
- Because of 2., the cats had shoved the window open, and had been in and out all the time I was away.
So all told, it’s been OK, and the cats have slept all evening.
But still yeah, I’m an idiot.
Wild and Free
Posted: Fri 10 August, 2012 Filed under: Animals, Stupidity, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Last night, Channel 4 had a documentary on the 2011 Ohio “Exotic Animal Release” called “America’s Animal Hoarder“. It’s not easy viewing, but it’s worth seeing.
It’s an amazing documentary, reflecting an episode I’d actually not heard about. Basically, Terry Thompson, a veteran of Vietnam, had amassed (legally) a collection of wild/exotic animals – Lions, jaguars, tigers, bears and more. On October 18, 2011, Thompson released his animals, and committed suicide. No-one really knows why – he’d been in jail, he was in debt, and (from the sound of the documentary) he had significant – and known – mental health issues.
In Ohio, there’s no law about the keeping of exotic/deadly animals. Thompson had also been a licensed “Class 3” firearms dealer (among other things) which allowed him to sell automatic firearms. He was a known “hoarder” – of vehicles, animals, anything.
It’s a really disturbing documentary, particularly if you happen to be an animal lover, or a fan of (particularly) big cats – and I qualify on both. They had to be shot dead – there was no other alternative, no way to tranquilise 50-60 animals and keep them safely. All the existing pens had been cut open – Thompson had cut the wire fencing, not just opened the doors.
The final toll was
- 8 tigers
- six black bears
- two grizzlies
- two wolves
- one macaque monkey
- one baboon
- three mountain lions
- nine male lions, and
- eight lionesses
You just can’t imagine having to kill that many rare animals – and knowing there’s no choice.
Really really sad – but as much of an indictment of Ohio law (and in some ways American laws in general) as of one individual with such obvious issues. Very, very sad.
Phone Insurance – Rejected
Posted: Thu 28 June, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Insurance, Stupidity 6 Comments »So, following on from yesterday’s post about the idiots at Homecare Insurance (part of CPP Insurance) it now turns out they’ve rejected my claim, because I “didn’t take reasonable precautions”.
Now, the phone is (supposedly) covered against accidental damage. But that apparently doesn’t include accidents. Of course, with insurance, the devil is in the details.
The actual circumstances of the phone’s demise are that I left it on the cistern of the toilet while I had a shower. While in the shower, I assume I received a call or a message and vibrated, because the poxy thing was in the toilet when I got out of the shower. And since then, it’s been knackered, for obvious reasons.
So apparently, I didn’t take enough care of the phone. Sure, I could have been in the bathroom, then left, put the phone somewhere else, and gone back in. I could have put the phone somewhere else in the bathroom – a windowsill, or whatever. But the fact is, I didn’t, I didn’t even think past “It’ll be fine on a flat surface”. Which it has been in the past. I didn’t think it’d fall in, because it was on a flat safe surface, not even close to the edge.
And this all means I didn’t (currently) take reasonable precautions. I freely admit to being an idiot, but the process wasn’t a careless or slapdash one – just a stupid one.
It’s being appealed, and the entire process is now also a full formal complaint.
But short story? If you’re insured with Homecare or CPP, don’t expect accidental damage to be covered, even when they say it is.
Missing the Point – Insurance
Posted: Wed 27 June, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Insurance, Stupidity, Thoughts 1 Comment »Just under two weeks ago, I buggered up my iPhone. Like an idiot, I’d laid it on the cistern of the loo while I had a shower. I assume it received a message while I was showering, vibrated, slid off the cistern, splosh.
Fortunately, the phone is/was insured, so a claim is being processed.Equally fortunately, the insurance is an added benefit to my bank account – and that’s fortunate, because if I was paying for this policy, I’d be a lot more annoyed than I currently am.
The company, Homecare insurance, are part of the CPPGroup and are – frankly – a bunch of clowns.
When I first called, their systems were unavailable. So they said they’d call me back – except they can only call me back on my registered number. Which is, of course, my mobile. Which is knackered, hence why I’m calling them. But you can’t change the number, it’s only the registered one. And when I asked to speak to a manager, they couldn’t be put through because the systems were down. (Why managers are unavailable when the system is down is something we’ll just ignore for now. I suspect it’d make my brain hurt)
So. They can send out a claim form, but you can’t email or fax it back – it’s got to be posted. And then it takes five days to process. Bearing in mind that everything in the policy says “covered against accidental damage, water damage etc.”, I don’t quite know how it takes five days to make that decision.
Anyway. I got an email from the cretins today.
“We have attempted to contact you by telephone to discuss the claim you have made on your phone insurance policy but were unsuccessful in contacting you.“
Yes, they’ve tried calling the mobile number – again – and can’t get through. Considering it’s the phone I’m claiming for, I wonder why they can’t get through?
Food Origins
Posted: Fri 15 June, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Education, People, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »I’ve known for a while about how some people don’t know where their food comes from – but even so, this particular story is pretty shocking.
Basically, in a poll of 2000 people by LEAF “Linking Environment and Farming” – although I can’t currently find mention of this poll on their site – 33% of young adults aged between 16 and 23 were unaware of where eggs come from – and 11% answered that eggs are produced from wheat or maize.
Additionally, 36% of the same age group failed to answer that bacon comes from pigs, while 40% did not know that cows produce milk.
Now it might be that one third of the sample were thick as mince, but all the same, it’s pretty scary.
Mind you, I’ve also known of people who
- when asked where chicken/beef/pork come from, answer “Tesco”
- didn’t know that chicken (the meat) comes from chicken (the bird) – I’ve seen that one myself
So I’m not too surprised, but all the same, it’s pretty depressing. My parents always taught my brother and I where food came from – to the extent that my brother used to refer to animals by the condiments that went with them : Cows = Horseradish. Lamb = Mint Sauce. Pigs = Apple Sauce.
Mind you, still no-one really knows what meat goes into kebabs, or just where on a chicken creates McNuggets…
Discovery / Stupidity
Posted: Tue 29 May, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Driving, Education, Stupidity Leave a comment »Every so often, you discover something, and realise you’ve either made a stupid mistake, (even if based on a logical premise) or just never clicked on the reasons why.
An example of the latter for this was that I only realised last year that the Jubilee line is silver on the London Underground map because it was – yes – the Queen’s Silver Jubilee. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Another – this time from my father – was that in the “Thomas the Tank Engine” stories, James was red, because he was “ready for anything”. The look of “Oh!” on my dad’s face was priceless when he eventually clicked on to it – but it was a long time after he’d been reading the books to my brother and I.
Anyway, today’s discovery was more on the ‘stupid but logical’ side. Until looking at a map today, and seeing it by chance, I had never actually realised that Watford Gap is nowhere near Watford. Indeed, there’s about 60 miles between the two…
So I feel a bit of an idiot, although I can justify/explain the logic beneath that thought…
Funding the Daily Mail
Posted: Wed 4 April, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Charm School, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Media, Stupidity 1 Comment »In yesterday’s Daily Mail, a woman called Samantha Brick wittered on wrote an article about how life was so difficult for her ‘because she was so beautiful’. (That’s a link to the story, if you really must read it – but hang on before you do so)
Predictably, t’internet – and Twitter in particular – frothed up about it massively, and the story went viral. Which is exactly what the Daily Fail wanted.
According to their own follow-up story, that original article garnered 4,500 comments. And the ‘top-rated’ comment received 18,000 ‘green arrow’ upticks. (Think of a Green Arrow as being similar to a Facebook Like)
The Daily Fail lives by advertising. The Mail’s Online Ratecard shows that they charge a minimum of £20 per 1,000 advert impressions – and it can be a lot more.
The original story had (at the time of writing the follow-up) received 1.5million hits – that’s a minimum of £30,000 they’ve made on the one story. Of course, the original story/page is still live, and there’s also a follow-up piece from Brick herself. From the Fail…
And today she is sure to provoke another avalanche of strong reaction as she defends herself in a fresh article on MailOnline, insisting that: ‘While I’ve been shocked and hurt by the global condemnation, I have just this to say: my detractors have simply proved my point. Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.’
So to all the people who comment, or even just click through to read the story, I say this.
YOU are the people who fund the Daily Mail. Every single one of you. Now, don’t you feel proud?
Unrewarded Idiocy
Posted: Tue 13 March, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Commuting, Driving, People, Stupidity 4 Comments »On my commute this morning I saw one of the more incredible things of late.
In the outside lane of the M1, two drivers had managed to have a small collision in the traffic. Nothing major, from the look of it, a few scratches, maybe a resprayed bumper or somesuch. But there was nothing major – no broken bodywork, no wheels askew, or anything like that.
The drivers had stopped to exchange details, as one should in an accident.
In the outside lane of the M1. As one shouldn’t, in an accident or at any other time.
Some people are just too stupid to deserve to live.
CEOP
Posted: Tue 7 February, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Geeky, People, Stupidity, Technology Leave a comment »And on the subject of CEOP, which is (apparently) part of the UK Police, wouldn’t you have thought they could’ve made the acronym into eCOP instead?
As an example, they probably could have called it ‘Exploited Children’s Online Protection’. Or something.
Mind you, it just goes to show how little thought went into CEOP in the first place, doesn’t it?
London Police Corbett
Posted: Thu 2 February, 2012 Filed under: Corbett, Customer Services, Marketing, Stupidity, Technology | Tags: Corbett, Half-Corbett 1 Comment »I see in today’s news that the Metropolitan Police have committed a Corbett, ‘inadvertently sharing the email addresses’ of ‘a number of’ victims of crime with each other. In total 1,136 emails were sent out on Monday, the Metropolitan Police said.
Yep, another case of CC: instead of BCC:
Of course, it’s not a Full Corbett, because the Met has actually apologised, and will write to the people involved, explaining what happened. Let’s hope they use BCC this time…
Silliness
Posted: Mon 23 January, 2012 Filed under: Art, Creativity, Stupidity Leave a comment »For no good reason, I give you this…
Dancing Pantomime Zebra
Ian Corbett and Toyota Ireland – Retraction Of Comments
Posted: Thu 8 September, 2011 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Cynicism, D4D™, People, Stupidity, Sweary, Toyota IE 7 Comments »Following a request from his legal advisers, I am retracting these comments forthwith, and have deleted the original post(s) to reflect this. I apologise for any harm caused.
(This retraction has been approved by Gore Grimes Solicitors. My personal view hasn’t changed, but legal stuff prevails over personal opinion, it seems. Maybe next time he’ll remember about BCC, and privacy concerns resulting therefrom)
Juxtaposition
Posted: Wed 23 February, 2011 Filed under: Cynicism, Daily Mail, Media, News, People, Stupidity Leave a comment »Yet another from the Daily Fail…
Organic vs. normal
Yep, in story one organic vegetables “aren’t as good for your health”, yet in story two “pesticides on fruit and veg interfere with male fertility”.
You’ve got to have some kind of admiration – and not necessarily positive admiration – for a ‘newspaper’ that can have two opposing viewpoints in two stories right next to each other.
Another Tossbag
Posted: Fri 18 February, 2011 Filed under: Driving, Parking, Stupidity Leave a comment »Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Particularly when most of those words are swearies…
Cock in a Saxo
Yes / No
Posted: Mon 7 February, 2011 Filed under: 1BEM, Agency Idiocy, Business, Cynicism, Design, Geeky, People, Stupidity, Work-related Leave a comment »Via the linguistic/literacy genius known as Sevitz (or Svetzi) comes this gem…
Oh. My. God.
I’ve worked with some spectacular options for Yes/No, but this one is way up there.
Mis-Spelling
Posted: Wed 3 November, 2010 Filed under: People, Stupidity 1 Comment »On Ugly Tattoos, I spotted this the other day…
It's not spelt like that...
How to spot an idiot…
WTF
Posted: Fri 17 September, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, News, People, Stupidity, Sweary Leave a comment »Every so often a story in the news just makes me say “What. The. Fuck?” – this one is one of those stories.
Children at a school near Selby have had a play break cancelled and hard ball games banned after neighbours complained to the council about noise.
Barlby Community Primary School has also put up a soundproof fence because it fears a noise abatement order.
So people who live near a school – and one assumes, have either a) lived there for a while, or b) moved in thinking it would be nice and quiet (because they’re shit-for-brains morons) – complain that the school is noisy at play time.
You really have to wonder sometimes. In the town where I grew up, a housing estate was built that backed on to the local sewage farm. People who moved into those houses complained about the smell, and tried to get the (pre-existing) sewage farm shut down. When I was in Manchester people who moved in to one part of the city centre complained about the noise from the bars, and tried to get them shut down.
If you’re that fucking stupid that you move near a school, or a bar, or a sewage farm, and only then complain that there’s a problem, then you don’t deserve to be allowed to complain. Live with it, and shut the fuck up. You moron.
Taxing
Posted: Sat 4 September, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Domestic, Politics, Stupidity, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »According to the BBC, Tax through PAYE has been (in some cases) utterly stuffed for the last couple of years.
In the story, about £2bn has been underpaid – but about £1.8bn has been overpaid. Now to me, that’s a case of “Oh sod it, it kind of balances”. But no, in a fit of efficiency (or at least Inland Revenue’s version of efficiency – which isn’t efficient at all) they’re going to send out six million letters telling people that they’ve over- or under-paid, and the differences will be refunded or paid back in the new tax code.
So. Six million letters. Even in second-class post, that’s a minimum of 32p per letter. Which makes a cost of £1,920,000. Doing the letters first class would be a cost of £2,460,000.
Let’s look at this sensibly.
We’ve underpaid £2bn in tax.
We’ve overpaid £1.8bn.
Which leaves £0.2bn to pay.
And Inland Revenue are going to spend £2 million to get back that £0.2 billion.
Is it just me that sees the idiocy in this? Talk about throwing good money after bad.
And actually, why the flying fuck should the people who have underpaid – through no fault of their own – be penalised by having to pay extra this year for a mistake made by Inland Revenue itself ?!?
Refurbishment
Posted: Sat 21 August, 2010 Filed under: Charm School, Customer Services, Driving, Parking, Stupidity Leave a comment »Currently, our largest local(ish) Sainsbury’s store is undergoing a major refurbishment – a project which looks like it’s going to roughly double the size of the store.
Not that you’d know it from the Sainsbury’s information page about the Longwater store.
You’d think that information like “we’re refitting this store” would be useful – and positively easy to add to a webpage, wouldn’t you? But no, no mention of it.
As it is, the improvements mean that the main carpark has been reduced to (at most) half its previous size, along with being completely replanned. But that’s OK, because there’s a big simple overflow carpark over the other side of the access road.
Except – um – there’s not. Because in a fit of total planning genius, they’ve also ripped that up to re-plan it and generally fuck about with it.
So of that 694 spaces listed on the information page ( 647 normal spaces, 22 disabled and 22 ‘parent-and-child’) there’s about 250 left. Of course, all the disabled and ‘parent-and-child’ ones are kept available, it’s just the other ones that’ve been epically reduced.
So fuck you, Sainsburys.
Road Maintenance and Sarcasm
Posted: Mon 16 August, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Norfolk, People, Stupidity, Travel Leave a comment »Over the weekend, one of the significant crossroads near us was completely closed for re-surfacing. The problem was that at least one route to get to that crossroads didn’t have any mention of said road closure.
Which means I get to send sarcastic emails to Norfolk County Council. (Again)
To whom it may concern,
I’d just like to congratulate the person(s) involved in sorting out signage for the road closure in Hingham this weekend.
If (as many people did) you took the road from Little Ellingham towards Hingham using Hingham Road->Little Ellingham Road -> Attleborough Road to the crossroads in Hingham, there was not *ONE* sign saying that the road ahead was closed. The signage was in fact before this junction (at roughly the spot of the red circle in this map)
This meant that anyone coming through on the route from Little Ellingham came round the corner to find the entire road closed off, and then had to turn round and go back. This also had the effect of stuffing a significant amount of the newly resurfaced road before the junction.
Of course, the road from Little Ellingham isn’t that heavily used. Except when Little Ellingham has its Vintage Working Weekend event- yes, the weekend just passed.
I look forward to any response Norfolk Council deigns to give in explanation of why there was no thought given to this route, or signage on it.
Sincerely
Lyle
I know it’ll do bugger-all good, but I felt better having written it. And that’s what matters.
Learning to Read
Posted: Thu 29 July, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Stupidity 3 Comments »One of my recent discoveries has been Tropicana‘s “Orange and Lime” juice. It’s really pleasant (if far more expensive than my normal “4 for £2” stuff) so while it’s been on offer at [Local Supermarket] I got a couple in. Three for a fiver, rather than near-as-dammit £2 for one. (£2? For orange juice? They’re having a fucking laugh)
Except it turns out I can’t sodding read. Because one of the three cartons I purchased wasn’t Orange and Lime, but was instead Orange and Watermelon. Which is – well, not rank, but not that nice.
Most annoying. And quite a shock this morning when I finished an Orange and Lime, and topped it up with a new carton. Yep, the Orange and Watermelon one.
Orange Lime and Watermelon is – how shall I put this? – interesting. And not in an overly good way.
New Scam/Phishing Email
Posted: Thu 22 July, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Geeky, People, Security, Stupidity Leave a comment »Yesterday I noticed a new spam / scam / phishing email that seems to have appeared.
It purports to come from Amazon, and tells you that your order has been despatched, along with some links that are clickable. The links actually go off to a russian site, but I’ve no idea what that does, and have no intention of finding out.
The biggest clue that it’s a spam/scam are
- the prices are all in dollars (which is a bit of a giveaway for us in the UK)
- you haven’t ordered anything from Amazon
- it’s got a link to “see the ordered items”, rather than just listing them in the mail
- the email address it’s been sent to isn’t the one you’ve got listed with Amazon
But all told it’s one of the better spam/scam/phishing-type emails of the moment. Best to publicise it and be aware of it.
Missing Pink
Posted: Thu 1 July, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Domestic, Driving, Introspective, Stupidity 2 Comments »Following on from yesterday’s post about Pink, Portman Stadium, and signs in general, some extra thoughts…
1) I can be a total arse. I know that’s not really news, but all the same, it’s worth re-iterating.
2) I fucking hate getting lost, being late etc.
3) If I’ve had a crap day, my tolerance for 2) is particularly low, leading to qualifying even more for 1)
Tuesday was, however I look at it, an exceedingly crap day. Stuff had come up at work that had affected me – nothing seriously traumatic of negative, it’d just been one of those days. In all fairness I really wasn’t in the mood for a late night – particularly with the knowledge of an early start in the morning. (For a number of reasons, last working day of the month is a big day in the current job, and requires coming in earlier than usual)
So the afternoon/evening didn’t start off all that well, and my mood wasn’t the best. Not being able to find the stadium just pissed me off a lot, and I didn’t do what I should’ve done, which was either
- Stop and think a bit
- Call someone else already there and find out how to get there
- Use the iPhone to do the same as 2
- Stop somewhere and ask someone.
I should have done one or more of those. Instead I got locked in to trying to find the place by driving along the A14.
Admittedly, I also didn’t expect the stadium to be in the town/city centre. All the other stadia (stadiums? I dunno) I know of are on the outskirts, not in the centre. Manchester, Norwich, Oxford, Crewe, Stockport – all on the outskirts. I also kind of expect there to be signs to say where the hell to go – after all, it’s not like a stadium is somewhere that no-one ever goes to.
But anyway, I did get pissed off, and went home. It wasn’t my smartest move, but it was the one I did.
No excuses for it at all, just sometimes an extra explanation is worthwhile.
Hey Ho.
Pink, Portman Road, Ipswich
Posted: Wed 30 June, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Domestic, Driving, Reviews(ish), Stupidity, Travel 13 Comments »Last night I was supposed to be seeing Pink at the Portman Road stadium in Ipswich. I didn’t see it.
Why? Because I couldn’t find the fucking stadium.
I’m normally pretty good on finding places, but must admit that in this case I’d figured there would be some signs to follow. After all, it’s a football stadium for fuck’s sake. Surely they need some signs for away fans to get there etc.?
Apparently not. I have to assume that Ipswich is truly embarassed about the stadium – they sure as shit don’t like to admit that they’ve got one.
Driving along the A14, I got to the first turn-off for Ipswich. There’s a sign there that says “Football Stadium” with an arrow pointing straight on (i.e. don’t take the turn-off). Fine. Second junction’s the same – “Straight on for Football Stadium“. After that, nothing. I got to the far side of Ipswich, no more signs. I turned round, coming back from Felixstowe direction to Ipswich, and there’s not one fucking sign. Not one.
All told I did that stretch three times, checking the exit roads, trying to see any damn signage whatsoever that pointed me in the direction of the stadium. Nothing except those two signs saying “straight on” from one direction.
So in the end I said fuck it, and drove home.
I assume Portman Stadium etc. won’t give a shit, as they’ve got their money for the gig already. But you can be damn fucking sure I won’t be going back there again.
I do feel like a right bell-end for not being able to find a sodding football stadium. But at the same time it’s not just me, others have said it’s a shit to find unless you actually know where it is. Personally, I’m not going to make the effort to try and find it again.
I Am A Twat
Posted: Fri 12 March, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Domestic, Getting Organised, Stupidity Leave a comment »In a couple of weekends we’ll be going to the O2 to see Peter Gabriel in concert. (Again) So I booked the car-parking a week or so ago.
To be fair, booking the parking spot is pretty easy, and they even give you the name of the gig, so you can check you’re booking for the right day.
Only it turns out that Peter Gabriel’s now doing two nights at the O2, right after each other. You can see where this is going, can’t you?
So yeah, I need to find out whether I can refund the one on the wrong fucking day.
What a twat.
Bridge and Terry
Posted: Mon 1 March, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, News, People, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »Am I the only one that thinks both John Terry and Wayne Bridge need to grow the hell up?
To me – and I’ll be the first to admit I’m not a great team-player, and don’t give a tin shit about football in general – Bridge’s stepping down from the England team (and thus international football) is a self-destructive dummy-chuck of weapons-grade proportions.
And besides, why on earth does Bridge (and/or the media in general) think Bridge has got any fucking right whatsoever to throw a strop about who his ex-girlfriend decided to be with once they’d split up? Let alone do the full petted-lip and “taking my ball in” strop about it. In the same perspective, what right has Bridge got to throw a strop about who John Terry decides to shag?
I must have missed something relevant in this entire farce, because it seems to me that this is all the kind of thing that most people got over in secondary school.
Popcorn
Posted: Mon 1 March, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, News, Stupidity Leave a comment »In yet another “Well that’s not really news, is it?” moment, the Food Standards Agency have said that – shock, horror – food in cinemas isn’t all that healthy. Who’d have thought.
The nutrition watchdog is concerned about the portion sizes of cinema snacks which are often high in fat, sugar or salt
So popcorn, being served in either salted or sweet ‘flavours’ – amazingly that might be high in fat and sugar or salt. What a revelation. Next they’ll be telling me that those hotdog things aren’t good for you either…
Captaincy
Posted: Sun 7 February, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Media, People, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »So John Terry did end up getting sacked as captain of the England Football Team and replaced with Rio Ferdinand.
Purportedly the sacking is because of Terry’s shagging around with the ex-girlfriend of a team-mate, which somehow makes it impossible to be a captain, as it’s a bad influence on the players, and the perception of the England team. Or something.
And then you get to this part of the BBC story…
Ferdinand, 31, is currently serving a four-match ban for violent conduct after only just returning to action following a three-month lay-off because of a back injury.
So, replacing a “bad influence” with someone currently serving a four-match ban for violent conduct. And that is the message we want to send out to the impressionable people who follow football and (apparently) model themselves on the behaviour of footballers.
Shagging’s a terrible thing, but violence? Oh, that‘s OK.
I really don’t understand sport/media, obviously.
Visibility
Posted: Thu 14 January, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Driving, People, Stupidity, Weather 1 Comment »Sometimes you just sit gobsmacked at the stupidity of people…
You might want to try scraping the snow off before leaving
Not seen by me, but instead featured on this story on Sky News (and other locations) with the photo provided by Devon police.
Apparently the person driving (an old woman) was told off, and given an ice scraper.
Victimless
Posted: Sat 2 January, 2010 Filed under: Driving, News, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »Good to see that politicians haven’t made any resolutions to talk more sense…
On BBC News today, there’s a story about plans to add the £15 “victim support” surcharge to lesser offences like speeding, driving and using a mobile, shoplifting etc. According to the politicians quoted, these are all crimes “with victims”.
Under the plans, a fine of £60 for speeding, using a mobile phone while driving or not wearing a seatbelt would be increased to £75.
Government officials deny the move amounts to a stealth tax.
They argue that such offences are not “victimless crimes”, saying thousands are killed or injured on Britain’s roads every year
Now I’m sorry, but how the scrambled fuck is speeding not a victim-less crime? And while I don’t like the offence, I don’t see how driving while using a mobile actually has a victim.
In both those cases, if your speeding or use of a mobile causes an accident (or worse) then it’s not the speeding or the use of a mobile that gets charged – it’s driving without due care and attention, death by dangerous driving, or one of the other offences I can’t currently remember.
If I’m caught speeding, the “victim” is me – I’m the one penalised by the action of the crime. If I’m not caught speeding, nothing whatsoever happens. I’ve not driven away from the scene of an accident, I’ve not harmed someone else, I’ve not broken, stolen, or conned something. I’ve just got to my destination faster.
Crossing to Nowhere
Posted: Mon 14 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Driving, Norfolk, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »While out shopping for some bits yesterday, we came across this crossing in a carpark in Norwich…
Crossing to Nowhere
Yep, that zebra-crossing actually ends up in a hedge. No pathway, no throughfare, nothing. Just cross the road, walk into a hedge.
Bizarre
Take Responsibility
Posted: Sun 13 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, News, People, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »Apparently, the EU is caling for a volume limit to be put on all MP3 players. A report last year warning that up to 10m people in the EU face permanent hearing loss from listening to loud music for prolonged periods.
Stories like this drive me mental. People need to take responsibility for their actions – not be told everything they can and can’t do. Fine, put a warning on the boxes (or even on the display when the volume goes past a certain level, as my Sony MP3 player already does) that loud volume for long periods fucks the hearing. But let people decide, and take that responsibility.
After all, these things are (or at least bloody well should be) down to personal choice. It’s not the MP3 players decision, it shouldn’t be a government/EU decision. If someone decides that their music needs to be at absolute top volume all the time, fine, they’ll have issues in later life. Let them make the decision.
Spamtastic
Posted: Wed 18 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »I got this spam the other day…
My names are Janet Brown, I was diagnosed for cancer for about few weeks ago. I have been touched by God to donate to you, from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God/needy/charity, I decided to WILL/donate the sum of USD$10Million to you. Contact my Attorney/lawyer/Barrister Stephen & Associates with this, specified email; { [Removed, for obvious reasons]} Tel; [Removed, for obvious reasons],for the funds release, my personal ref number law/WILL/9834520012. I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don’t want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. Regards,
Mrs. Janet Brown
That’s exactly as I received it – the only thing changed is that I’ve removed the contact details.
But what you’ve got to wonder is this: What kind of blithering idiot numpty would ever respond to something like this?
And if even one person did respond, it would just prove that Barnum was right – there truly is one born every minute.
Ugly
Posted: Sat 7 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, People, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »Every so often, you’ll see someone and just think “Why?”. Other people create websites dedicated to that moment…
First there’s Ugly Tattoos, which does exactly what the name says. Some seriously weird and ugly tattoos where you’ve got to wonder a) why they were done in the first place , b) what the people were thinking in the first place and in some cases c) how come the tattooist didn’t get sued.
Then there’s Wedinator, with wedding events/photos that are certainly strange andsometimes just plain wrong.
Any time I wonder whether I’ve been too cynical in my estimations of people, let these sites stand as witness to the fact I can never be that cynical.
2012 Idiot Tax
Posted: Thu 29 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »In yet another case of “There’s one born every minute”, the BBC has a story today about the fact people are already getting taken in by sites selling tickets for the London 2012 Olympics. That’s despite the fact that tickets won’t be going on sale until 2011…
As I’ve said before, the people who pay money to sites like that really just have more money than sense, and deserve to be taken for a ride. It’s like an idiot tax – if you’re an idiot, you will pay.
According to the story, “it is illegal to sell fake 2012 tickets in the UK, Olympic organisers said.” . But what happens if you’re not actually selling fake tickets? By that I mean that you’re advertising tickets – but not actually supplying even false ones. Sure, it’s fraud etc. – but technically, it’s also not selling fake tickets. It’s ‘just’ taking money from morons.
I’m forever being told that I’ve got far too cynical a view of people and their stupidity. But still I see stories like this and I’m still amazed that no matter how low my expectations, people still go lower than them.
Strikebreaking
Posted: Sun 18 October, 2009 Filed under: Business, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »As I’ve said before, I don’t understand the point of strikes, as they do more to ruin the future of the business than anything else would. The current one, of course, is the upcoming Royal Mail strike which I’ve also written some thoughts about before.
It’s come out in the news today that Royal Mail plan to employ some 30,000 temps to work while the strike is going on, and thus keep the business going. And I’ve got to say, I think that’s the right message to send. The people who’ve been talking about going on strike say it’s “to keep their jobs” – when all it’s really going to do is drive more people away from using Royal Mail, and will thus screw their jobs in the long-term anyway.
In my opinion, this move by Royal Mail is a statement of “You’re not going to kill our business. We’ll keep going” and it shows that going on strike might just cost the union workers their jobs anyway.
Criminal Mastermind
Posted: Wed 14 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Stupidity Leave a comment »Some people really are too stupid to live, in my opinion.
In this case, a fugitive fraudster who decided he’d keep on updating his Facebook page and is then amazed when the police catch up with him.
Cameroon-born Maxi Sopo’s messages made it clear he was living the high life in the Mexican resort of Cancun.
He also added a former US justice department official to his friend list who ended up helping to track him down.
The criminal genius at work…
Jobless
Posted: Wed 7 October, 2009 Filed under: Business, Stupidity, Thoughts, Work-related 2 Comments »
Sashinka's photo of job-seeking David
Even after having been crapped on last week by the jobs market (and one company in particular) I still find I have a problem with the kind of story and image posted by sashinka.
Now fair enough, I understand that David feels he can’t get a job. But really, is anyone going to stop him in the street to interview him? And offering to work for free for the first month – well that just smacks of desperation.
I understand, I’m not someone who wants to work “In The City” (ever noticed how City workers always capitalise it, even in spoken conversation?) so I don’t get some of it. But if you’re dedicated enough to want to work there that you’ll sack around in a Sandwich board for a while, you should be prepared to walk your arse into every single job agency going.
Equally, if you’re desperate to work, you’ll take on anything. I’ve been there and done that – worked in some of the shittiest jobs known to man in order to make ends meet. If I’m that hard-up, I’ll do it again. OK, I might aim to not work on the bins again (did that one summer in Oxford for a month. *shudder*) but if that’s all that’s going, I will.
I have a related problem with the people who whine that they’ve sent off “hundreds” or even “thousands” of CVs and never got a response from an agency or company. Now I’m sorry, but if I’ve sent off even twenty CVs and not had a single response, I know I’m doing something wrong. If I send out ten CVs, I’ll normally get at least five responses from agencies. It’s usually higher than that, but I’m trying to be equable here. (For once) My CV is good enough that it gets a response. It’s simple to read, lists my skills and experience, and that’s it. It breaks lots of the ‘rules’ that CV-advisors give out (I’ve never yet bothered with wasting space on a paragraph describing myself, for instance) and yet it gets responses – and, by extension, jobs.
Yesterday was a perfect example of that. I sent in my CV to an agency for a role they advertised, they called me back, and I’ve got an interview for it this morning. The company involved took less than an hour to come back from seeing the CV with an interview request. I’m in there today, and we’ll see how it goes.
The same happened with the one that fell through – CV to agency, from agency to company, and a phone interview on the same day. Two days later I had the interview, and had an answer by the end of that day. Sure it fell through, but that was a funding/project thing rather than a “me” thing. I can’t do anything about that.
But if I’d sent a hundred CVs and not got a response at all? You can bet that I’d be doing a few things including:
- Rewriting the damn CV – big-time
- Calling agencies, if only to use the “checking it got through to you as I hadn’t heard anything” line
- Asking those agencies for feedback, why the initial CV didn’t get a response
- Reconsidering how I was doing things.
Ah well, rant over with for now. There’s more I was thinking about, but I haven’t quite got it strung together in my head yet.
Press What?
Posted: Sun 4 October, 2009 Filed under: People, Stupidity, Travel Leave a comment »Seen on the train home on Friday…
As it happens, the actual “Flush” button is hidden behind the loo-seat, so you have to put the seat-cover thing down before you can flush the toilet.
But I do wonder how many people have tried (and failed) to flush these toilets by pressing on that handrail…
Bell-End
Posted: Tue 22 September, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Photography, Stupidity Leave a comment »There are times where I am a complete twat. This evening was one of those times.
Part of the reason I’m doing a really stupid week of driving and travelling is because I thought it was this week for the meeting of the local camera club we formed following on from the NCFE course. Which was tonight.
Except, um, it wasn’t. You see, there’s another Tuesday still to come in September. Which means that…
- I’m a twat
- My mental calendar is at least a week out of kilter.
- I’m a twat, and don’t know what day it is.
Abandoned 2
Posted: Sun 20 September, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Charm School, Driving, Parking, People, Stupidity 5 Comments »The same Tesco carpark as my previous post about arsewit parking, but this time it’s just *so* much more impressive. In this case, I’ve left the bell-end’s number-plate in view too. Screw it, parking like this needs to be recorded and credited to the correct knob-head.
Of course, it just had to be a BMW driver, didn’t it?
So bad it's hard to believe
Yep, not even just half-over the line – but parked up in a completely hatched off zone right next to the pedestrian crossing.
In this case I can’t deny it, I went in and spoke to the staff about it – the driver got a telling-off from them too. Seems fair to me.
Unsalted
Posted: Sat 19 September, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Health, Norfolk, People, Stupidity, Sweary, Thoughts Leave a comment »Sometimes you read a story and your mind boggles right out of its tiny capsule.
In this case, it’s a story about Norfolk’s Trading Standards launching a campaign to get people to reduce their salt intake. “How?”, I hear you cry. Well, like this…
New saltshakers with fewer holes have provided for fish and chip shops in Norfolk to help cut salt consumption. The saltshakers only have five holes and dispense 50% less salt than the usual 17-hole versions.
What ?!?
So this ‘campaign’ is only in the 400-ish fish-and-chip places in Norfolk. If you’re in a chippy, I somehow suspect that the salt in it is far less of a long-term risk than the amount of fat that’s going into that meal. But no, we’ll focus on the salt. Genius.
And what the fuck has it got to do with Trading Standards? Are people no longer judged to have enough personal responsibility to manage their own salt levels on their food?
I despair. I truly do.
Cycle Hire
Posted: Wed 16 September, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, People, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel 6 Comments »I noticed yesterday a piece on the BBC about cycle-hire programmes being introduced in some places in the UK.
And while I think it’s A Good Thing™ to bring cycle-hire etc to the fore and work on making it into a sustainable concept, I’ve got to ask what kind of Twunt puts a cycle-hire facility in fucking Blackpool? Yes, it’s fine as a UK tourist spot – but on windy days (and there are more of those than sunny ones in Blackpool, in my opinion) it’s hard enough to walk into the wind, let alone cycle into it. (And while it’ll be fine cycling with the wind behind you, in my experience the wind is always against you as a cyclist)
The bit that really makes me laugh, though is this :
According to tourism body Visit England, the number of UK holidaymakers visiting the resort in 2008 was down 26% on the previous year. Tourism bosses hope the scheme will be another attraction for people visiting the resort.
Tourists don’t (in general) cycle around cities like Oxford and Cambridge, where cycling is already de rigeur. So why the hell would they bother in effing Blackpool, for fuck’s sweet everloving sake?
How Not To Do It
Posted: Tue 1 September, 2009 Filed under: News, Stupidity Leave a comment »Over the weekend, the Daily Express managed to get a spectacular error on one headline.
The Guardian’s Media Monkey today has a small article on how it happened.
Grammatically Challenged
Posted: Thu 27 August, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Stupidity 1 Comment »I’ve just signed up for a website dealing with audiences for seeing the recording of TV shows, and had a confirmation page with the following text on it…
VERY IMPORTANT: Please ensure that your email spam filters will allow mail from [email address] as have just emailed you about you’re registration.
Now that’s got some scarily bad grammatical errors in it.
I wonder if I should email and tell them?
Idiocy
Posted: Mon 24 August, 2009 Filed under: Charm School, Cynicism, Stupidity, Thoughts 7 Comments »Having read this story about a rescue helicopter that couldn’t land because some people wouldn’t get out of the way (and thus endangered themselves by being in the way of the rotors) I think we’re just too nice to idiots.
In this case, once people have been told to get out the way, it’s their responsibility to do so. If they fail to do so, and don’t take into account bloody great (unmissable) rotor blades above them, then they’re idiots and thus accept all responsibility for any accidents and/or damage that occur as a result.
As I see it, people need to take more personal responsibility, rather than letting others do it for them. If you do something stupid, and your excuse is “Well nobody told me not to”, then sorry, but you damn well deserve to have been hurt.
Poll-Fixing
Posted: Fri 21 August, 2009 Filed under: Charm School, Stupidity Leave a comment »(via Yorkshire Soul)
I wouldn’t normally add a link to a hate-mongering bigoted shit-rag (also known as the Daily Mail) but in this case I will.
Go to this survey (about halfway down the page) and vote Yes. The survey asks “Should the public fund a trans-gender police support group?”
Currently, the “Yes” result is pegging about 77%. Go on, fuck with the heads of Daily Mail readers – It’s certainly not the result they were expecting…
Inglourious
Posted: Mon 17 August, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Stupidity Leave a comment »Personally, I’m really not bothered about seeing the new Tarantino film, “Inglourious Basterds“. (Don’t blame me for that spelling – it drives me crackers too) I’m not even convinced I’ll bother when it comes out on DVD.
What is very funny at the moment though is that various places seem to be having utter conniptions about advertising it because of the “naughty word”.
I’ve seen a few adverts on pre-watershed TV (i.e. before 9pm) that are just calling it “Inglourious”, with the “Basterds” covered in bullet-holes. (I’m not quite sure how bullet-holes etc. are acceptable pre-watershed, but the word Bastard isn’t)
On radio, they’ve been reduced to simply referring to it as “the new Tarantino film”.
The marketing department for the film itself must be having fits about the fact that half the time, advertising and media can’t even say the name of the film. It’s a really silly state of affairs.
Train Strikes
Posted: Thu 13 August, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Stupidity, Travel 1 Comment »While I can’t deny I’m pleased to see that the current train strikes that have been affecting us in Norfolk/Suffolk have been suspended, in a lot of ways I think it’s a great shame that National Express East Anglia have capitulated to the union’s demands at all.
Interestingly, neither the RMT or ASLEF sites actually detail what the deal was that they were trying to get. That in itself says to me that they know it was unreasonable – after all, why not try and gain support and understanding from the public if they’re really so hard done by?
The BBC mentioned some of the requests in one story, as follows…
National Express managers say the unions want a 2.5% pay rise, a four-day working week and a 4% increase in the number of train drivers.
Although as that’s from National Express managers, I can’t really say it’s 100% accurate, obviously. This story from the Guardian in 2002 suggests that the average train driver’s salary was around £30,000 seven years ago, along with 35-40 days holiday a year. MySalary estimates an average train-driver’s salary in 2009 as £35,000.And that’s before we consider overtime etc. as well.
That £35,000 is a good figure. In this area (excluding Cambridge) the average salary is around £19-20,000. Hard to have sympathy for people striking about wanting more money when they’re already on nearly double the regional average, isn’t it?
Additionally, the strikes of the last three weeks have been counter-productive in other ways. I don’t know of anyone who’s had sympathy for the train drivers, and I wonder how many people have decided that actually it’s more reliable to use their own transport (or car-pool or whatever) rather than relying on the train “service”. If that’s the case in a significant number of people, the train service has fewer paying customers, reducing the income to the company – which reduces their ability to pay the drivers.
How much have the strikes cost National Express? I don’t know – but again it’s going to be a significant figure. It has to be, due to dropping all but a handful of services. (I think they ran six to/from Norwich each day, instead of the usual 60+) Roughly speaking, that’s 10% of the income they would normally get. Yes, I know it’s a rough figure, but it’ll do.
If I were on the board of National Express, I would do three things.
- Tell the unions to get stuffed, that their actions had cost National Express £x00,000, so that was the figure that we’d be cutting the salary budget by.
- Look at how I could get extra drivers in (even perhaps train-drivers from the continent, or ones who had retired, but wanted some extra cash for a few days work) in order to run the service still. Hell, I’d possibly even look at organising a pool of standby-drivers – casual labour, but trained up and fully current.
I wonder whether you could get away with offering train-drivers a cash sum or extra money to break the strike and do their job. Not a salary-rise, but just a loyalty-bonus for sticking with the company. That one would be fun… - Finally, I’d have been completely up-front, and made it highly public about what deal National Express were offering, vs. what the unions wanted. I’d put the entire deal in the public eye, and see what the reaction was then.
I think that if those things had been done – and particularly number three – it would’ve made for a really interesting situation, where the unions could see what the public thought of them.
Mind you, that’s probably why I’ll never be on the board of a company like National Express – I suspect my way of handling things would be a bit confrontational for their tastes.
It’s still a pity that they seem to have compromised to any degree with the demands, though.
Cutting Down on Waste
Posted: Thu 6 August, 2009 Filed under: Customer Services, Domestic, Green, Stupidity, Thoughts 3 Comments »In the news today, there’s a piece about a Plymouth dairy that’s encouraging its customers to use “Milk Bags” – recyclable bags of milk, and a reusable ‘jug’ holding the bags.
According to the story,
Dairy spokesman Richard Pryor said customer research showed people wanted inexpensive and convenient ways to reduce the amount of rubbish they put in their dustbins.
“This development is another important step in reducing the environmental burden of the 130,000 tonnes of plastic used in milk packaging every year,” he said.
Obviously, Dairy Crest in Devon are using plastic bottles for delivering milk.
But it occurs to me, surely the single best way of reducing that tonnage of plastic used in milk packaging is to go back to using glass bottles instead of plastic ones?
Our milk gets delivered every other day (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) to the door in glass bottles. At the same time, the driver collects our used (and washed) bottles, and takes them to be reused. No ‘rubbish’ relating to the milk – the foil bottle tops go in the recycling bin.
On the (exceptionally rare) occasions when a bottle breaks, it gets put into the glass box, to go to the local bottle bank next time we’re in that direction. Again, no landfill, no waste – it’ll get recycled into a glass ‘something else’.
So, who is it who does our milk deliveries? Yep, it’s Dairy Crest – the same ones who deliver in plastic in Plymouth.
Migrating Contacts
Posted: Mon 3 August, 2009 Filed under: Geeky, Getting Organised, iPhone, Stupidity, Technology Leave a comment »As I said yesterday, one of the more interesting challenges with Herself’s new iPhone was getting the contacts to transfer across from her old Samsung G600 phone to the iPhone.
When it comes to contacts and phonebooks, Samsung are – to be polite about it – bloody awful. They don’t support useful standards like SyncML (basically a standard set of markup for addresses, contacts etc.) and instead stick to their own proprietary method. And their phones really don’t like giving up their data. In this case, it wouldn’t even send the information via BlueTooth, or save the details from the phone onto the SIM in order to transfer that across.
In short, a fucking abysmal experience when it comes to transferring away from a Samsung phone to anything else. (If memory serves, even Samsung to Samsung is a pain in the arse, let alone Samsung to anything else)
On my Sony-Ericsson phone, I can regularly sync the phonebook up to an online service called Zyb, who make the entire process pretty painless for phones that support SyncML. It also gives you a backup of the entire contacts database, which can be useful if (for example) you lose your phone, or have it stolen. They’re now owned by Vodafone, but in a fit of surprising sanity, Vodafone haven’t locked out non-Vodafone users from the service.
Through Zyb, when I upgraded my phone at the end of last year, importing the contacts etc. took ten minutes, and was one of the smoothest examples of that procedure I’ve ever done.
Anyway, on checking, it turns out the Zyb supports the iPhone – so that seemed to be the way to go.
After that, the process was fairly simple.
- Sign up Herself with an account at Zyb
- Install the iPhone app for Zyb (they even provide a link to it in the sign-up process, so it includes all the information necessary)
- Type in all the contacts from Herself’s Samsung, setting it up with correct addresses, merging mobile/contact/home/work numbers into one contact where necessary
- When done (about an hours work) sync the Zyb contacts onto the iPhone
- Job done.
Of course, if Samsung supported SyncML (or any other decent service) then it would’ve been a max of ten minutes to sort out. As it was, it took an hour. It could’ve been worse – far, far worse – if we’d been trying to do it via SIM or BlueTooth and then had to reorganise everything on the iPhone.
How not to do it
Posted: Sat 25 July, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Customer Services, Cynicism, Geeky, Security, Stupidity, Technology, Toyota IE | Tags: ian corbett, toyota ie Leave a comment »This post has been deleted, on the request of Ian Corbett, Marketing Manager of Toyota Ireland, and his legal advisers.
For more explanation, see here.
Mis-Spelling
Posted: Fri 24 July, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Security, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »Yesterday, I got three spam emails attempting to go phishing for my log-in details.
Now, as I’ve said before many times, I feel that anyone who responds through these phishing emails deserves everything they get for being a bell-end and clicking on links in random emails. (Particularly when they then go to some very odd URLs that have nothing to do with the bank in question – in this case www.mybank.alliance-leicesterXXX.com)
And if anyone responded to any of these particular three emails, then they’re even more deserving of getting ripped off. In fact I’d then go so far as to simply term it as an idiot tax.
Because the subject line for all of these email addresses was :
Secure Message from Alliance & Liecester
And if you don’t spot that in the email, and still click on the links, you damn well deserve to lose your information/money.
Overheating
Posted: Tue 21 July, 2009 Filed under: Animals, News, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »I didn’t comment at the time when the story first broke, but I’m really pleased to see today that the police officer whose dogs died in a car outside the headquarters for Nottinghamshire Police is to be charged with causing unnecessary suffering to the animals.
Obviously no-one outside the situation knows the full story of what happened – yet. Regardless, it’s hard to imagine any dog owner – let alone the owner/trainer of two police dogs – just leaving their dog(s) in a car on a hot day. Personally, I don’t understand how anyone can let it happen.
I don’t care whether you’re in a meeting, or get called into something “important”, if it’s that hot and you know you’ve left dogs out in the car, you say so and then get out to make sure they’re OK. It’s that simple. Of course, ideally you’ve not got dogs in the car on a day like that anyway, but sometimes it does happen.
But whatever happens, if your job is based around animals, you simply don’t let those animals die (or suffer) needlessly.
Think 25
Posted: Mon 6 July, 2009 Filed under: Customer Services, Cynicism, Security, Stupidity 2 Comments »Over the weekend, I noticed that Sainsbury’s (and, I assume, the other supermarkets) are now operating a “Think 25” policy, where if you’re buying items that are prohibited under a certain age, you’ll get asked for ID first.
What items are we talking about? Well, to my knowledge – and this isn’t a comprehensive list, although I could probably find one if I tried – it consists of :
- Cigarettes (18 or over – it used to be 16, but changed in October 2007)
- Alcohol (18 or over)
- Blades – knives, razor-blades etc. (18 or over)
It used to be that if you looked under eighteen, you’d be asked for ID. Fair enough – 18 was the limit for most of the age-limited items.
Then the stores started getting paranoid about customers who just “looked” 18 getting through the system, so they invoked the “Check 21” policy, where even though you were legally allowed to buy said products, if you looked up to three years older than that, you would still get asked for ID – and not allowed to purchase the products if you didn’t have ID.
Now they appear to be even twitchier about it, and the “ask for ID” limit is 25 – and that’s if you look 25, not whether you are or not. So a whole seven years more of being asked for ID.
And the really stupid bit? The entire thing is voluntary – which means it’s perfectly legal for the only-just 18 till-person to sell the (for example) beer, but ask ID of someone who looks up to seven years older before they can sell it.
Totally barmy.
Bad Organisation
Posted: Sun 21 June, 2009 Filed under: Driving, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »Today, there’s a World Superbikes race at our local racetrack, Snetterton, which means that there’s an absolute shedload of bikers and cars all around the area, and coming off the A11 at Snetterton.
So I have to ask, what kind of fuckwit would organise a cycling time-trial along the same stretch of the A11 on the same day?
I had to drive up to Snetterton this morning to get rid of a carload of stuff at the tip, and saw three near-misses – two of them on the slip-road up to Snetterton, with cyclists going over it while idiot drivers were going too fast and trying to get onto the sliproad itself.
I get that dual-carriageway A-roads are (in theory at least) a good environment for cycle races – but not on busy days, and particularly not on a route where far more people than usual are going to be trying to use the sliproads to get through to other events.
Airport “Security”
Posted: Thu 18 June, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Security, Stupidity, Thoughts, Travel 1 Comment »I’ve always been fascinated by the entire “security theatre” thing since 11/9 (Sorry, 9/11) and this article goes some way to showing some of why I find it so interesting.
What’s security theatre? It’s the farcical measures that’ve been thrown up – particularly in airports – since the 9/11 terrorist attacks. They’re not about security, they’re about making people think they’re secure – and it’s all pretty farcical when you think about it.
Bruce Schneier has been a critic of airport security and the security hype for a long time now – he’s a security and cryptography expert, who’s written some very cool stuff over the years, and knows what he’s talking/writing about. He’s quoted throughout the article, and makes far more sense than anything that the TSA and associated agencies can come up with.
All told, it’s a well-written piece, and well worth reading.
The Motorbike “Swerve Test”
Posted: Wed 27 May, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Driving, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »One of the stories in the news yesterday was about the new motorbike driving test, and in particular the “Swerve test”. According to some instructors/examiners, this new module is dangerous – particularly in the wet.
During the test, learners have to reach 50km/h (31.2mph), then perform a swerve, on special test centre tracks.
But some instructors say that if riders brake and swerve at the same time they are likely to come off, particularly in the wet.
Now while I agree (to some degree) with the comment from the story “A motorcyclist’s competency can be best judged in the dry. Wet conditions introduce a chance element that should not be part of the test”, I also can’t help but feel that “real world” conditions are the best thing when it comes to taking a test – be it motorbike or car driving tests. I know I had driving lessons in some bloody horrible conditions (although admittedly not tests) including hail, driving snow, and plenty of night-time driving.
And if a rider can’t do this swerve at 30mph – and it’s a basic safety manoeuvre for getting out the way of incidents – then they damn well shouldn’t pass their tests. If they fall off and/or damage themselves as a result of this, surely that’s a learning experience in itself?
Even if that lesson is either a) “Don’t fall off the fucking bike” or just b) “Learn to ride properly, and deal with ‘real world’ situations”.
But then, I’m obviously completely unrealistic on these things. After all, I didn’t pass my driving test ’til I’d managed to avoid the really stupid ‘real-world’ mistakes, like stalling the car at junctions.
Not Secure, Then
Posted: Thu 12 February, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, News, Stupidity Leave a comment »Norfolk Police said someone had broken into a secure bin near police offices in the area overnight and rifled through the files.
The box files were then left in the nearby car park. It was not believed that any paperwork was missing. The incident will be investigated.
Well, it’s not really all that sodding secure then, is it?
Gimps.
Missing the Point
Posted: Tue 6 January, 2009 Filed under: Customer Services, Cynicism, Stupidity 1 Comment »An email from Canon today :
We are sending you this email because we take our customers’ data seriously and only want to hold your data if you want us to.
You have joined CANON iMAGE GATEWAY and registered ownership of a EOS 20D, but decided not to receive communications from us. We are giving you the opportunity to opt in, which means you will receive regular communications, or to delete your details permanently from our database.
So :
- You’re contacting me even though I opted out of being contacted
- It now looks like the choice is
- Opt in
- Get completely deleted
As I’ve never used the Image (Sorry, iMage) Gateway, I think I know which option I’ll be going for…