Not Quite An Apology
Posted: Thu 3 October, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Literacy, People, Sweary, Thoughts, Words 2 Comments »One of the phrases that keeps on annoying me at the moment is the current ‘approved’ terminology for an apology
We’d like to apologise for [x]
Why does it annoy me? Because if you look at it, it’s not actually an apology. It’s a mealy-mouthed excuse. “We’d like to apologise for [x]” isn’t the same as “We are really sorry about [x]”
I know it’s probably only me that even notices this kind of thing, but regardless, it’s an annoyance.
If you’re sorry for something, say you’re sorry. Apologise. Don’t tell me that you’d like to apologise – because that’s not actually apologising. It might as well say “We’d like to apologise, but won’t, because well, fuck you”
Just say “Sorry”. Don’t wank around the bushes with it. Say you screwed up, apologise, move on.
Approaching Year-End (Part 2)
Posted: Mon 23 September, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season, People, Shopping 1 Comment »At the end of August, I wrote about the signs that we were coming to the end of the year, and the Festering Season. Obviously X-Factor and Strictly being back on TV are the two primary harbingers mentioned in that one.
Now though, I’m seeing more signs – and they seem to be earlier than ever.
- On TV, we’re starting to see the adverts for perfumes/fragrances (for both men and women) and also the music compilation CDs that only ever seem to be on the shelves for the Festering Season. It’s always the “Oh god, I don’t know – get something” gift of last resort.
- In the supermarkets, hard though it is to believe, there’s already Christmas confectionary and mince pies on the shelves.
- And then there was this, spotted yesterday…
Yep, Christmas Cards are already on the shelves. I despair.
I’m surprised at how early all this tat is hitting the shops- I assume it’s retail’s way of handling people having less money than usual, so making the items available ever earlier. Personally I think that’s bollocks, and they’re just hoping for as many sales as possible – but as you can see from the picture above, people are actually buying the damn cards already…
Utilities Part Three – Smart Meters
Posted: Sat 21 September, 2013 Filed under: Anglian Water, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Getting Organised, Utilities Leave a comment »Today, as per the post from yesterday, Anglian Water are supposed to be here fitting new ‘smart’ water meters.
I’ve no idea when they’re coming – the timescale I’ve been given is “Saturday” – nor what will need to be done when they arrive. Nor even how long the work is likely to take. I will be clearing the areas around both meters, to make sure they’ve got easy access, but other than that, *shrug*, no idea what the plan will be.
As such, my Saturday is looking to be somewhat random. They could be here at 8, done by 9, and I’ll have the day to myself. Alternatively, they could get here at 4, be here til 6, and my day’s kippered.
Fortunately, I’m pretty laid back about it all, and not going to get stressed one way or the other. But it does strike me as a pretty shit way of doing business…
Common Sense (Or Lack Thereof)
Posted: Fri 6 September, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Cynicism, Driving, Fog, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Following on from yesterday’s horrid (yet spectacular) crash in Kent on the Sheppey Crossing, the BBC’s now carrying a story saying that various people are wanting warning signs, lighing etc. on the bridge to prevent such an accident again.
The thing is, I don’t see how that’s going to improve things. (other than in the context of Being Seen To Be Doing Something)
The accident(s) happened in thick fog. As such, I would suspect that the actual primary causes of the accident(s) were
- Fog
- Drivers going too fast
- Drivers not using their lights/foglights
- Drivers being dickheads
I get the idea of warning signs on the crossing – again, in that context of Being Seen to be Doing Something – but I can’t see how they’ll improve safety. After all…
- If they’re warning of thick fog, will people be able to see them in – um – the thick fog?
- If they’re giving warnings, won’t they also be distracting the attention of dickhead drivers who don’t seem able to multitask?
If the warning signs just read “Don’t be a fucking moron”, it might help. But even then, it would be helping far less than drivers simply not being fucking morons.
Driving Thoughts
Posted: Thu 5 September, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Charm School, Commuting, Cynicism, Driving, Fog, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »A small selection of questions and thoughts from the drive in to work this morning…
1) Look, if you’re driving so slowly in a car that trucks are pulling out to overtake you, maybe you should speed the fuck up, or get off the bloody road.
2) It’s foggy. So why are so many people driving
- without any lights at all or
- without their foglights on?
Usually it only takes a tiny piece of mist and they’re all in use, but this, with visibility of fuck-all-squared, there’s loads of people without lights. What the hell?
(And on a side note, bloody hell, I’m glad I’m not involved in this lot in Kent!)
3) Relatedly, why is it that once the fog clears up, you fuck-knuckle bastards leave your sodding foglights on ? They’re there for a reason, remember to turn the cocking things off when they’re no longer necessary
4) Why is it that so-called “professional drivers” (articulated trucks, delivery stuff, coaches etc.) usually end up being the most dangerous ones on the road?
5) If that’s how you drive, Mr Driving Instructor, then I truly fear for the skills of your pupils.
6) If you can’t steer/handle a shopping trolley, it really scares me to know that you’ve arrived here by car, and will be driving home. Jesus.
The Beginning of the End (Of the Year)
Posted: Fri 30 August, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season, Television 1 Comment »It’s only August, but we’re already building up towards the end of the year.
This weekend, it’s the return of evil Saturday-night ITV drivel ‘contest’ The X-Factor. Knowing that the target for this is (as always) the Christmas Number One single, you know it’s only [x] weeks ’til the Festering Season is upon us once more.
Next weekend, BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing is back on. In the same way, that’s now part of the run-up to the Festering Season.
I won’t be watching either of them, but it’s still a signpost that that fat old bearded bastard is on the way, red suit, reindeer and all.
Bah Fucking Humbug.
Replacement Card
Posted: Thu 29 August, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Finances Leave a comment »On Bank Holiday Monday, I went out and about, and used my debit card to get some cash out of a cashpoint (ATM, Hole-in-the-Wall, whatever) at a branch of my bank. The card slot looked a bit odd, but both machines looked the same, and I know Barclays love to piss about with how their machines work. So I thought nothing of it.
However, about twenty minutes later I walked past a different Barclays cashpoint (why they’ve got them in multiple places in the town I don’t know, but such is life – this one was in the wall of a WHSmiths) and its card slot was different, and didn’t have the bits that I’d wondered about on the ones at the branch.
As a result, I called my bank, and cancelled the card. Bit of a pain in the bits, but far less inconvenient than the potential for losing money to dirtbags and having to find it. I was expecting it to be a week before getting the replacement card – that’s about normal, and didn’t cause me any real problems – but just a pain in the bum.
Anyway, I’ve got to say I’m impressed. The card arrived yesterday morning. Two days for production, printing, whatever, and sending. I know it’s how things should work, and it’s still pretty sad to be impressed by something that’s just being done correctly, but in this one, well, all fairness to Barclays, they’ve got something right.