Excessive Sportitude
Posted: Wed 26 June, 2024 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Sport, Television Leave a comment »At the moment, things on TV seem to have gone sports-mad, and as someone that’s not into any of it, it’s *really* tedious.
Obviously there’s the Euro kickyball tournament, which appears to have been at least two matches every day for the last couple of weeks, with still another fortnight-ish to go (although the frequency of matches drops once the initial stages are done with)
Last week there was [a tennis tournament] that took over another channel – and this week there’s [a different one], followed next week by Fucking Wimbledon (to use its full title)
As if that weren’t enough, last week also involved televised coverage of horse-racing, for some fuckforsaken reason. I assume that’s just in case people felt there wasn’t enough sport on.
And the weekends seem to be full of bloody Grand Prix excitement tedium.
Then we’ve still got the Olympic and Paralympic Games to come (although at least they contain a wider range of things, some of which may even be watchable)
And of course then we’ll be back to the normal Kickyball schedule as well.
The only other alternative seems to be all the bullshit being spouted about the upcoming General Election. (Which would be far more interesting if we introduced Guillotines, in my opinion)
I’m sick and fucking tired of it all.
Devices
Posted: Sun 26 February, 2023 Filed under: Domestic, Green, Technology, Television Leave a comment »Over the last few weeks, I’ve managed to get through two TVs – which is annoying, but thankfully hasn’t been hideously expensive.
Back in Tiny House, my TV was comparatively tiny, I think a 24″ screen. It was fine for the space I was in, and lasted me well. However, in New Place, the living room is considerably larger, so the comparatively tiny screen was less than ideal – but still worked.
This all came up in conversation with friends, and one of them offered a larger screen for free – they were moving, merging houses and so on, and had an extra 43″ screen that otherwise would just be going spare (or going to the tip) so I was happy to take that one. It meant I didn’t have to get a new one, and it was also a case of being a bit greener, rather than just trashing things. I collected it about a month ago, and it’s been fine until this week.
For some reason, it’s ended up throwing a complete wobbly – something to do with the sensor/receiver for the remote control, from what I can tell – and became a nightmare to use. If the remote worked at all, it was as if it was the key was staying down and repeating the input continuously. And it was with two different remotes (the actual TV remote, and the Sky remote that was also able to operate the TV) which is what makes me think it was the sensor/receiver. Regardless though, it made the entire thing into an absolute pain in the chuff, and even a hard reset didn’t fix things.
So… despite all my good intentions, I ended up ordering a new screen, the same size as the one I’d been given. (As I know it at least fits/works in the new living room) It got ordered on Friday and delivered on Sunday, which is pretty good – particularly as I was out for most of Saturday anyway – and it’s all now installed and set up, so I’m happy.
Obviously I’d rather that things had worked out better for that middle screen, but at the same time it’s been moved at least two (and probably three) times, so it’s at least vaguely understandable. Anyway, they’ll go to the tip tomorrow, in order to be as recyclable as possible, and all that jazz.
Romance Fraud
Posted: Tue 10 January, 2023 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, I Don't Understand, People, Stupidity, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »In the new house I’m working from home a lot more, which has also led to me having slightly more TV on during the daytime. (I know, I know)
One of the things I had the misfortune to catch this week was BBC’s “For Love or Money” (that link takes you to the iPlayer page for it) about people falling for “romance fraud” – basically, fraudsters getting contact with lonely people who respond, form online ‘relationships’, and end up sending money to these “partners” for all manner of outlandish reasons.
Actually, it’s not fair to say “misfortune” – I guess that morning daytime TV is a good place for this, as the main demographic for seeing it and going “Oh shit, that’s what I’ve been doing” are likely to have it on. So it’s probably useful and good on that score.
In some ways I have sympathy for the people who fall for this shit – the main group seem to be older people who’ve usually lost a long-term spouse, and suddenly find themselves alone for the first time in decades, are lonely, and will grip onto anything that makes them feel less lonely. I do understand (kinda/sorta) that side at least.
But at the same time, Jesus Fuck, these people are bloody stupid. I don’t understand how they can class the communication as a relationship, or being “in love” with someone they’ve never met. And I really don’t understand the whole thing of giving money to someone they’ve never met. I know it’s a psychological thing, that the scam starts (comparatively) small and then people keep on paying out because they don’t want to be proved to have been scammed/stupid – which boggles my mind in all kinds of different ways – “I don’t want to be seen as stupid for sending them £200, so I’ll send £2,000 to end up proving I was right” What?!?
Even more mind-boggling are the ones who get into this trap with one “person” , realise they’ve been scammed, and then get caught again in the same situation. And (in my opinion, blah blah) those particular people are too stupid for words. And then they say *on the programme* “Oh, you must think I’m really stupid” and the presenters say “No, no, you’ve done nothing wrong“. And I don’t feel that’s right – they didn’t do anything wrong initially, but if they carry on (and particularly if they fall for the same thing twice) then the presenter should be allowed to say “Yes, you are. What kind of fucking idiot gives money to someone they’ve never even met?!?“. Shock them into realising how bloody stupid they’ve been, and it just might have a lasting effect.
I don’t know the answer – there’ll always be stupid people in these kind of horrible situations. But it seems to me like the basic thought process of “I don’t know this person, we’ve talked but I’ve never met them, yet they’re asking me for money – why?” shouldn’t really be that difficult, should it?
Scheduled
Posted: Wed 5 June, 2019 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, D4D™, Domestic, Food, I Don't Understand, People, Solo Dining, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »At the moment, there’s an advert on TV for Just Eat, and it freaks me out a little bit.
There’s one part of it where they talk about people “ordering their usual”, and doing so at a specific time – implying that it’s the same thing every week. And that just weirds me out, that there are people out there who do the same thing every week, who eat the same meals with little to no variety.
At the same time though, it’s odd in other ways. I’m just as bad at being uninspired when it comes to meals and so on – but that’s when I’m just cooking for myself. If I’m paying for it (i.e. a takeaway, a restaurant meal or whatever) then I’m going to go for random stuff that I fancy eating.
So I think it’s the combination – that there are people who are paying for their meal and still only having the same thing at the same time – rather than *just* that it’s the same thing every time.
Anyway, it weirds me out – even though in some ways I’m also a massive hypocrite about it, as I’m semi-guilty of the same thing, but only in the privacy of my own home…
Good Omens
Posted: Sun 2 June, 2019 Filed under: Day Trips, Domestic, London, Television, Thoughts, Travel Leave a comment »Last week, I went to see Neil Gaiman at the Southbank Centre, as part of the promotional activities for the new series of Good Omens. (It got released on Friday on Amazon Prime, and will apparently be on BBC2 later in the year)
Good Omens (the book) was written by Neil and the late Terry Pratchett thirty years ago, and it was one of Pratchett’s dying wishes for Neil to write it again as a TV series. At the time, they thought he’d got plenty of time, but he went downhill rapidly, and so after Pratchett’s funeral, Neil wrote the series, and then insisted on being the showrunner in order to make sure that it got to screen in a way that both of them would’ve found acceptible.
Anyway, I’d managed to get tickets even before they announced that he’d be accompanied on stage by David Tennant and Michael Sheen (who play the two main characters of the series, Aziraphale and Crowley) which made it even better.
The entire evening was fun – there was a choir of Satanic Nuns (if you’ve read the book, you’ll understand) in the foyer of the Southbank Centre, singing Queen songs (again, book, understand, blah blah) which boded well for the rest of it.
Compered by Kirsty Wark (who also appears in the series), they talked about how the series came about (see above), the story of Neil and Michael meeting for a dinner where both of them couldn’t work out how to tell the other that they didn’t want to play Crowley (Michael had originally been cast, but realised as he read the script that he was far more Aziraphael) , Neil discovering that Michael could do a pitch-perfect impression of David Tennant, and many other tales.
From the sound of it, while there were problems along the way, the fact that Good Omens is loved by so many people (and has been for a long, long time) worked as a great leveller of those problems – another story being that Nick Offernan was brought in very late in the day to replace someone else, and told Neil that a) he’d have paid his own flights in order to take the role, and b) that when the director apologised to him for coming such a long way for so (comparatively) few lines, he said “I’d have come twice as far for half as many”
It was a really good evening, and when the series came out on Friday, I saw the entire thing in the space of an evening (not something I usually do, but this time it was worth it) and I can honestly say that they’ve all done a bloody good job of the entire thing. Utterly worthwhile.
Aussie Masterchef (Finished)
Posted: Wed 21 November, 2018 Filed under: Domestic, Food, Television Leave a comment »Way back at the end of August, I wrote about Masterchef Australia starting again on UK TV. It’s still one of my favourite TV cooking/competition programmes, but man alive, it’s a commitment.
It runs for at least an hour every weekday. And it finished last night. That’s a long-ass stretch of TV by anyone’s standards.
All the same, I’ve enjoyed the series (as usual) but I’m also finding myself slightly relieved that we’re done for another few months.
Aussie Masterchef (Again)
Posted: Wed 29 August, 2018 Filed under: Domestic, Food, Single Life, Television, Thoughts, Time Leave a comment »Tonight, one of my favourite cooking shows is back on TV for another year.
No, not Great British BakeOff (although I may watch that as well) – but Masterchef Australia. It’s the only Masterchef version I still bother with, mainly because it’s just so different from all the others.
As the Guardian says in this article, Aussie Masterchef is a huge commitment – it’ll be something like 65-70 episodes all told – but it’s also a joy. (Other than the opening credits/intro, which is truly fucking awful) It’s utterly Australian, with a real focus on people pulling together and supporting each other rather than it being a cut-throat competition. The judges aren’t as aloof as in other versions, and generally are more friendly and supportive.
Hell, even the guest chefs come across better than they do in other things. I’ve gained more respect for people I previously couldn’t abide – Marco Pierre White is the primary example here, a man with a reputation for being an utter tosspot, who instead provides constructive feedback and help to the competitors. (However, even Aussie Masterchef can’t make Jamie Oliver into anything other than a lisping Mockney twat you’d never tire of punching)
So yeah, I’ll be watching again. It’ll mean other TV things take a bit of a back seat for the next few weeks, but I can catch up on them when Masterchef Australia is over and done with.
Sporty – Semi-Completed
Posted: Mon 16 July, 2018 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Sport, Television, Thoughts 1 Comment »A couple of weeks ago I wrote about sport, and how we seemed to be having a surfeit of it this summer.
Thankfully, We’ve finally finished with the Kickyball World Cup (although I believe it’s less than a month ’til the next season starts off, FFS), and the Wimbledon Smashyball stuff, and the British Grand Prix is over and done with too.
The Tour de France is still ongoing (thanks, Gordon, for reminding me that this was on too) although that’s a lot more tolerable than the others – if nothing else, I still find myself in awe of the people who can ride 100+km in a day up idiot mountains and so on, and still do a sprint finish…
Anyway, it’s nice to just have fewer sporty-ball things on TV for a few weeks, at least. Happy, happy day.
Catching Up (Kind Of)
Posted: Wed 11 July, 2018 Filed under: 2017/18, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Getting Organised, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »As well as doing less – or at least going out less – I’m taking the time to catch up on some of the TV programmes I haven’t been watching.
My TV Box is about half full, and I realised that in some cases I’ve got a complete half-season (I know, it’s an oxymoron) of something I want to see and catch up with. They’re all programmes I want to see and keep up on, it’s just that I haven’t been doing so this year so far. I’m actually pretty ruthless when it comes to things I’ve decided I can no longer be arsed with, so at least I’m being picky in that way – but there’s still a fair amount of stuff that I’ve kept.
So while I’m home more in the evenings and weekends, I’m taking the time to get through some of those things. These things will be on as background, allowing me to multitask and do the other things I’m working on over this quarter, and that works for me.
Sporty
Posted: Mon 2 July, 2018 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Sport, Television 2 Comments »Fuck’s sake.
So not only do we have World Cup kickyball, cricket and rugby gubbins going on, but as of today we’ve got Wimble-bloody-don as well?!?
I give up.
A Different Value of New
Posted: Wed 28 March, 2018 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Sweary, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Out of interest, how the hell do the BBC get to promote a show as “Brand New!” when it’s been exhumed from the 80s and 90s (and potentially the 2000s, too)
Yes, I’m referring to the “Brand New… Generation Game“.
What. The. Absolute. Fuck?
Married At First Sight
Posted: Mon 19 February, 2018 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Domestic, I Don't Understand, People, Television, Thoughts, Valentine's Day Leave a comment »Following on from Valentine’s Day, Channel 4 has a documentary series going about people who have allowed themselves to be paired up by scientists and specialists, signing up to meet on their wedding day. (It turns out that this is actually the third series of it in the UK – and the results on the previous two series haven’t been all that promising!)
They’ve done it with some run-up in order to do all the stuff like declarations of intent to marry, telling family and friends, and make all the preparations. So they get told that they’ve been paired up (and are now ‘engaged’) and then six weeks later they’ll meet for the first time and get married.
Thursday’s episode was the first one, and basically all the set-up and preparations. From there I assume it’ll be about the aftermath, and how they work out once the wedding is done.
Marriage is something that, to be honest, leaves me cold – it really hasn’t ever appealed to me at all, and it’s never been on the list of Things To Do. And so far, there’s never been anyone I’ve been with who’s changed that opinion, or made me think differently about it at all.
But I do still find it an interesting concept, and the whole arranged-marriage type thing, of seeing how people handle that and so on. Whether I continue watching the programme or not is a different matter, but for now it’s at least vaguely interesting. We’ll see.
Closing a Commitment
Posted: Fri 17 November, 2017 Filed under: Domestic, Television, Thoughts 2 Comments »In general, I don’t watch loads of TV – and I’m fairly selective on what I do choose to watch. I’m also utterly rotten at binge-watching and spending a day just watching TV.
Taking that into consideration, there’s one programme/series where I break those rules – and it’s Masterchef Australia. I really like it, for a range of reasons – mainly, it’s *so* Australian, and so unlike any other version of the programme. The credits are bloody awful, but the rest of it is just something that appeals to me.
On the downside, it’s also frigging huge. This year it ran for 13 weeks, five nights a week. Thankfully it’s usually only 45 minutes per episode, but that’s still nearly four hours of TV a week, for 13 weeks. That is, for me, a lot of TV.
It’s finished now, and as always it feels like it’s been a slog to get through it. You have to keep up with it, or the backlog rapidly gets insurmountable.
As usual, I’m glad I’ve seen it – but I’m also glad it’s complete, and that this particular drain on my TV time is done.
Under The Knife
Posted: Fri 4 August, 2017 Filed under: 1BEM, People, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »This could almost be a PIDU post – but it’s not, and I don’t quite know why myself. But anyway…
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been watching Botched, a programme about Plastic Surgery, and primarily fixing the bad jobs that’ve already been done on people. It’s a ‘reality’ series, and kind of annoying, but also weirdly interesting. I find it fascinating to see the things that people have had done to themselves, the things that they feel insecure about, and what they put themselves through in order to feel better.
Personally, I don’t get that whole surgical self-improvement thing – I’m far more of an “accept what you are/have” person, which seems to result in a lot less stress. Then again, I’ve never been pretty, so I don’t have that innate vanity that sees Just One Thing that’s wrong. I don’t feel the need to “fix” things, so it’s all just a bit… alien to me.
The people who do want work done (and in the greatest number of cases, it’s definitely ‘want’ rather than ‘need’) are of interest to me, looking at the mindsets that are so obsessed with that One Thing that needs ‘fixing’, that if they fix that, then everything will be fine (while also never actually addressing the underlying insecurities that are driving the desire for surgery in the first place) and wondering why they only look at fixing the physical, rather than the mental and emotional issues that cause them to focus on these things.
More than anything, I think I feel sad for a lot of the people, to have lives that are so focused on something like that, and to be so desperate to get it fixed.
Anyway, it’s a rotten reality programme, but it still interests me for the people involved. Which, I suppose, is the whole point of reality programming.
Idents
Posted: Fri 21 July, 2017 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Brands, Domestic, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Of late, I’ve been watching a few more TV programmes on commercial channels, and as a result I’ve been seeing a lot more of the ident/sponsorship captions at the start and end of each ad break. (I’m sure there’s a proper name for them, but ‘ident’ will do for now) However, they primarily stick in the mind because they annoy me.
I know advertising is supposed to be all about brand recognition, making things that stick in the mind so we remember the company when we’re looking for whatever product they’re hawking. But all the idents (and a number of the primary adverts as well) only stick in my mind in order to be companies that I never, ever give any money to. (Which has happened several times now, looking for a product or service and knowing I won’t use [x] because their adverts annoy me so much)
Part of it, and the part that grates with me the most on idents, is a lack of range. I assume it’s a budgetary thing or something, but lots of them seem to make five idents, and think that’s enough. However, there are four ad-breaks, so there’s should be eight idents. Instead, we end up repeating at least a couple of idents – in just one programme! – and all that makes me think about the company is that they either haven’t thought things through, or they’re just cheap. Either way, I can’t see that as being the reaction/perception that the company is aiming for when they’ve spent a bundle on buying the slots and making the idents.
I mind less when they’ve only done the one ident – even thought it means it can end up being seen eight times per episode – because at least it’s simple and easy. It’s the supposedly-funny ones that aren’t amusing in the first place, let alone once you’ve seen it twice in an hour, and even less so over the full run of any series.
Slight Demoralisation
Posted: Thu 13 April, 2017 Filed under: 2016/17, 2017 Inspirations, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Media, Television, The Future, Thoughts, Writing Leave a comment »Over the last couple of weeks, one of the satellite TV channels has been repeating one of my all-time favourite series, “The Closer“, and I’ve been recording and re-watching them. In some episodes it shows its age (it first went out in 2005) with the technology, phones etc., but that’s pretty much to be expected now.
Right from the start I liked it, each episode contained all the clues and ideas needed to solve the crimes, which raised it above an awful lot of the procedural dramas around. It was intelligent in a number of ways, but there was also a focus on personalities, clashes, and idiosyncracies.
I was well into it anyway, and then the last three episodes of the first season hooked me completely. I won’t go into the details, but the final episode of Season One has the best apology ever seen on TV, and it still makes me laugh, even knowing it was coming.
However, it also has a bit of a downside. The writing is so sharp, the characterisation so good (in my opinion, naturally) that I watch it – and a couple of other things, particularly “The West Wing” – and just find myself thinking that I’ll never be able to write like that.
I’m going to damn well try, don’t get me wrong, but yeah, it still makes me a bit demoralised about the whole thing. Fun and games.
Apprentice Thoughts
Posted: Fri 14 October, 2016 Filed under: 1BEM, Business, Cynicism, Domestic, People, Television, Thoughts 2 Comments »Once again, the BBC has a series of the Apprentice running. And yet again, every single contestant currently appears to be an inveterate fuckknuckle with all the business skills of a bundle of second-hand scrotum skin.
What I don’t understand about the competitors (more even than being so massively underprepared and underqualified) is what think will happen afterwards. This year, there’s 18 competitors, and that means that 17 are going to lose, and go back to reality.
But anyone who has seen the programme will know that they’re insufferable, incompetent, and in most cases utterly vile human beings who couldn’t truly run a business if their lives depended on it.
So – what happens when they look for new work? Or even just return to the job where they’ve managed to negotiate a break or sabbatical? (Come to think of it, that situation might be even worse, with the added weight of expectations etc.)
I know that if, regardless of whether I were interviewing or being interviewed, any single one of them were in the room, I’d know they’re (at best) useless, gobby, opinionated, and shit at their supposed job; and wouldn’t work with them. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d do the same.
All told, pretty mind-boggling.
The End Is Nigh
Posted: Sat 27 August, 2016 Filed under: Cynicism, Festering Season, Television Leave a comment »
It’s the first post of the year to see Scrooge!
As of tonight, we’re officially in the run up to the Festering Season. How do I know? Because tonight on TV there’s the first episode of the new series of X-Factor.
Not that I’ll be watching it, but it’s definitely the harbinger of the year’s end…
Eating Well For Less
Posted: Mon 22 August, 2016 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Brands, Cynicism, Domestic, Finances, Food, Health, Laziness, People, Shopping, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the last few weeks, I’ve been watching the BBC’s “Eat Well For Less” series. It’s an interesting concept, helping people with their eating habits (and more accurately, their spending on food) by removing all the labelling and branding from food in people’s houses, removing all the prejudices etc. around their food spending. They replace expensive branded stuff with ‘own-brand’ or cheaper alternatives (and in some cases with more expensive, but better/healthier options) and also leaving some things alone. Additionally, they help people with recipes for their favourite meals, rather than buying pre-packaged and so on.
A lot of it is insanely annoying, but the core information is (in my opinion) worth it, for both the families on the programme, and people watching it.
But oh Dear God, those families are fucking pathetic. There’s lots of preconceptions about brands being preferred “because they wouldn’t be so popular if they weren’t the best” and so on, which drives me crackers.
The most recent one tonight, though, drove me crackers. One family member had been diagnosed as coeliac, and had spent six years eating salads he hated. Six. Fucking. Years. How does anyone end up eating stuff they don’t like for six bloody years? There’s no logic in it that I can see – unless they haven’t done any enquiries or research about what’s got gluten in and so on?
In this case they were buying loads of pre-packaged food – and I get that more, because they were so worried about cross-contaminating from their foods to his, and making him ill – but with no thoughts or understanding. I think the peak point for me was buying pre-packaged “gluten-free” rice, not understanding that all rice is gluten-free, in the name of Jesus H Pant-shitting Christ.
So yeah, it’s been an interesting series, but Holy DogEggs, some people are fucking lazy/stupid/pathetic*.
(* Delete as applicable)
Life Stripped Bare
Posted: Sun 10 July, 2016 Filed under: Domestic, Getting Organised, Introspective, People, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »This week, Channel 4 had a one-off programme called “Life Stripped Bare“, which turned out to be pretty interesting.
It was basically about how people handle having no possessions. All their items, furnishing, clothing – everything – is taken away and put in storage, leaving them with absolutely nothing except the walls of their homes. It was slightly gratuitous, as all the participants had to strip off, leaving them to start the process completely naked. I understand the reasoning for it, but yeah, there seemed to be a lot more focus on that than was strictly necessary.
Each participant (a single woman, a house-share of a man and woman, and another house-share of two men and a woman) was allowed to get back one item a day from storage – although in all three cases, that storage unit was at least half a mile away, so they had to make the effort and journey in order to get those things. In autumn/winter. The first couple of days, where clothing was limited (to say the least) showed off their inventiveness all round – and the single woman in particular, whose first choice was a bolt of material, from which she fashioned a load of things, rather than just one thing.
It was interesting though, seeing what the people valued, what they couldn’t live without, and then what they did once everything was returned. Naturally, with the participants being late-twenties and early-thirties, one of the things they had real problems living without was their phones, and being pretty much permanently connected to the world.
It also made me think about my own attitudes to possessions, what I have, what I value, what I could live without if I chose to. I think a lot of that would come down to semantics, for example whether “books” counts as one possession as a whole, or whether each one is an individual possession.
All told, there’s a lot I could live without if I had to or chose to. I wouldn’t want to be reduced all the way to zero possessions – I don’t think anyone truly would – but I think I probably could handle a significant reduction if I had to.
Anyway, it was an interesting programme, and made for some interesting thoughts – which I may write more about at some point in the future. Or not. We’ll see.
Stating The Obvious
Posted: Tue 26 April, 2016 Filed under: Charm School, Cynicism, Domestic, Sweary, Television Leave a comment »Why is it that on just about every TV competition show – X-Factor, Masterchef, Bake Off, whatever – when it comes to the semi-finals, one of the hosts always has to say
Any one of these people could win it
Of course they fucking could, they’re in the semi-sodding-final. Stop stating the bloody obvious, you fatuous bollocks-spouting cretins.
Gameshows
Posted: Tue 23 February, 2016 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, General, People, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »I think one of the most depressing jobs currently has to be that of a gameshow host on some of the afternoon and evening quiz shows. Quite how they manage to listen to people getting basic stuff wrong without slamming their heads into the desks, or making comments along the lines of “How the fuck do you not know that?!?”
For me, the real trigger points are where it’s a question about (usually) books – although several other subjects get the same kind of responses – and the competitor says “Oh, I’m not really a reading person”. Rage ensues.
Please note, I’m not saying that reading should appeal to everyone, I get that there’s umpteen reasons why people don’t read as much. That’s fine. But still – and maybe it’s me being unrealistic – I kind of expect/hope that people would at least know that Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and Charles Dickens wrote Oliver Twist. You don’t have to have read them to know at least the basics about authors of classics, surely? (After all, I haven’t read either of those, but still know who wrote what)
I think it’s perhaps that the ‘general knowledge’ of a lot of the competitors is really quite focused, that there’s huge gaps in what they know. (And again, yeah yeah, everyone’s different, etc. etc.) In most rounds – hell, even some of the less-specialist sport ones – I can get a number of correct answers. OK, I’m lucky enough to be a complete bobble-hat with a decent memory – but I don’t believe I’m that exceptional.
I don’t really know where I’m going with this (you may have guessed) but it’s just something that’s been rattling round my head and annoying me for a fair while.
Time Commitments
Posted: Wed 23 December, 2015 Filed under: Domestic, Single Life, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Every year, there’s a couple of TV programmes I end up committing way too much time to. I do watch/record a number of things, but they’re not what I mean.
In both cases, the series are on every day, which takes time away from doing other stuff. Most of the other things I watch are an hour a week, but when they’re an hour a day it takes away from everything else. And of course it would be a shedload easier if it weren’t the case that both series tend to be on at the same time of year.
This year it’s been two Masterchef programmes – the Australian version, and the one for UK Professionals.
I love the Aussie one – someone else I know described it as “If you want to know everything about Australia in one programme, watch that“, and it’s absolutely true. Totally different to the UK version, much more fun, and a far, far nicer programme. But dear God, it’s a commitment – this most recent series has had no less than 62 programmes. Five days a week, for nearly three months. That’s a long haul.
The UK Professionals one is also interesting, for different reasons. It’s also less of a bind, as it’s only five or six weeks, but still three days a week. I find the different levels of professional cooking etc. to be fascinating, as well as the restaurants, chefs and challenges.
Both programmes have come to a close this week, and while I’m sad that they’ve finished, I can’t help but also think “Yay, I get more time!”
The Beginning of The End – 2015
Posted: Tue 1 September, 2015 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Festering Season, Media, Television Leave a comment »It’s the start of September, and that means that we’re in the run-up to the Festering Season.
The signs are all there – X-Factor started last weekend, and Strictly Come Dancing starts this coming weekend. I don’t watch either of them, but they’re both timed to finish up just before the Festering Season, and as such they qualify as the harbingers of doom.
I’m sure there are other pre-cursors to it (perfume ads on TV, for one) but these two are the main ones I notice now. It’s a sad state of affairs.
Televisual
Posted: Wed 11 March, 2015 Filed under: Domestic, Finances, Getting Organised, Technology, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »A couple of months back, I damaged my TV. Nothing major – the cats were being arseholes. I chucked a cat-toy near them, and hit the screen, resulting in a broken line of pixels, and a broken bit of display crystal so it had a bit of a blob. (Think how an LCD-display watch used to look when it broke/cracked, and you’ve got it)
It’s been a minor irritation since – not even big enough to be an annoyance, just every so often the line of pixels would flicker white and be noticeable, or the broken bit of display would be more noticeable with the rest of the screen (depending on what was on it at the time) and it was getting worse.
So anyway, this week I finally decided to replace it – and I’ve done so. It’s a bigger unit than the previous one – 32″ from the 24″ I had – which is a significant increase of screen size, that I hadn’t quite catered for in my head. It still fits in fine, and doesn’t dominate the room the way I find lots of the really big ones do, but I think it’s at the upper limit.
What really surprises me – although it shouldn’t – is the difference in prices and screen sizes to fifteen or twenty years ago.
Twenty years ago, when I bought my own first new TV, it was the same screen size as the one now – but it was a massive beast, needing two people to lift it safely, and cost me about £800. It was a serious unit, to say the least.
Now, the same screen size – and I know, it’s an LCD/LED rather than a CRT display, which makes a massive difference – is easily carriable by me, and cost maybe a third of what that old Sony one did. Even the image quality is markedly improved. It’s quite remarkable, the way progress and changes in technology have come on in that time period. Food for thought, of what we might have in the next twenty years…
Night Will Fall
Posted: Mon 26 January, 2015 Filed under: Advertising, Domestic, Films, Television, Thoughts, Time Leave a comment »Over the weekend, as part of Holocaust Memorial Day, Channel4 showed a documentary called “Holocaust – Night Will Fall” about the films made by the allied forces as they discovered Nazi Germany’s various concentration and death-camps at the end of World War 2, and recorded what they saw and discovered.
While absolutely vile – despite descriptions, you never really see the true results of those camps – it was also essential viewing, and a fascinating story as well. No modern film can truly show the effects of emaciation on bodies – no actor, regardless of dedication, would put themselves to that level – so you might see people being “very thin”, but the recordings on Night Will Fall put all of that into perspective. It’s not something you can look away from, but nor can you believe either the way the bodies are/were, or the sheer number of deaths. The piles of spectacles, the boxes of dentures, the sacks of human hair – they all show how many died, but you still can’t actually understand the sheer scale of the deaths. I truly don’t think anyone can envision millions of bodies.
The other impressive thing about the programme was that Channel4 showed it without adverts. A ninety-minute film, straight through. I thought that said a lot about Channel4 (although the more cynical would say “who would actually buy advertising space in the middle of a holocaust documentary anyway?”) but it’s still a commitment on the part of C4, and I fully believe that should be acknowledged and respected, as they’re primarily a commercial channel.
The film/documentary itself, I just think everyone should see it, and that it should be shown in schools as part of a default history curriculum. That sort of thing just should never happen again. Ever.
Shotgun Mop
Posted: Sat 29 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Domestic, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »With working from home, I’ve recently seen more adverts on TV than usual. Every so often, I get to one that just makes me wonder what the hell the advertising agency were thinking of – and what persuaded the client company to think it was a good idea too.
Today’s case is this one for a new type of mop by Spontex.
So what’s the message meant to be here?
Is it supposed to be funny?
Surely it can’t be intended to say “Using our new mop could put you at risk of getting shot by the police”?
And what the chuff is the motive for the hedgehog walking across the floor at the end?
I wonder if it will get pulled as and when the police accidentally shoot someone innocent…
Benefits Street
Posted: Mon 13 January, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Stupidity, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »At the moment, Channel 4 has a documentary series called “Benefits Street”, based around one road in Birmingham where the majority of its inhabitants are – yes! – on benefits.
It’s pretty standard C4 documentary fare, and follows on from others in similar vein, including “Skint” (families in Scunthorpe who are – yes! – on benefits) and so on. And as with the other similar ones, it got Twitter, Facebook, and the media in general up in arms. The fact that all this makes for great free advertising for the programme (because people want to watch it and see what everyone else is talking about) is of course purely coincidental.
No, of course Channel4 aren’t trolling media and social media in order to boost their own viewing figures. Of course not. *cough*
I didn’t bother with it – I know pretty much what it’ll show, they’ll focus on “human interest” stories within the street, edit it to within an inch of its life, show all the stereotypes, the ‘boss’ of the street, people shoplifting, drug-growing/dealing ‘to make ends meet’ and all the rest of it.
The thing that annoyed me the most about the entire hysteria though was that people started a petition to stop Channel 4 from showing the rest of the series. Which is inherently pointless. The programme’s been made, it’s all over and done with. Hiding it away is effectively no different to hiding away the issues of people who are on benefits. More importantly, it’ll make it into more of a talking point, and boost viewing figures.
If you don’t like this kind of programme, there’s a simple answer. Don’t watch it. Don’t promote it. Don’t talk about it, don’t link to it. Don’t bitch about it. But most importantly – don’t watch it. There’s plenty of other channels and programmes. Channel4 is funded by its advertisers – by the people who want to promote their goods/products within the programme and the ad breaks. The more a programme is viewed, the more Channel4 can charge those advertisers.
If you don’t watch the programme, it doesn’t get viewers. And Channel4 won’t bother making more of a set of programmes that lose money, that don’t have viewers, and they’ll do something else instead.
It really is that simple.
Remember The Name
Posted: Tue 7 January, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Geeky, Marketing, Media, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the Christmas Break, I watched more ‘live TV’ (i.e. not stuff recorded on my PVR, and not ‘delayed’ so I could skip adverts) than I usually do, and thus saw more adverts than normal. Advertising is something that interests me for a lot of reasons, mostly having worked for/with a number of agencies over the years, and also being interested in the psychology and manipulation behind them.
As always, “Brand Recognition” is one of my bug-bears, because for a lot of the time it seems that advertisers don’t care about much else, so long as you remember the brand-name. However, in my experience a lot of the time I remember the brands just so I can be sure to never, ever give them any money. This happens particularly when an advert (or set thereof) are
- insanely annoying (Insurance Comparison sites, EE, and the like) or
- paying money to people I can’t abide, and/or hypocrites (an example covering both those is when Knorr were using Marco Pierre White to advertise their stock-cubes – a product he wouldn’t touch in a month of Sundays)
I’ve written before about how adverts for certain industries are changing – usually for the better – but it’s interested me to see how GoCompare in particular have continued that change.
When they started, GoCompare had one of the most insanely irritating advertising “characters” (that bloody opera singer) known to man. I won’t link to anything, because it’ll just cause brain-damage and broken monitors. (Apparently it was also voted “most irritating advert” for 2009 and 2010 – quite the achievement) GoCompare then had ads of various celebrities killing the character in a variety of ways, and over the last year or so it’s been about the same character trying to get back into the adverts, and various ‘wacky’ schemes to advertise the company.
Now, though, they’ve changed again, and the same character appears to have become a driver or guide on coach tours. (Although I did like the reference to Blakey from ‘On the Buses‘, but that’s probably just a sign that I’m old) I have no idea where they plan to go with this set of adverts – although at least now they’re just weird and self-referential, rather than being actively violence-inducing.
I still wouldn’t ever hand over money to GoCompare – that memory of the dire branding will last a long time – but it’s been interesting to see how their stuff has altered over the last couple of years, in some sort of recognition that people hated the original concept.
[Updated and reposted on 7/1/14] – The Drum posted up this article about the ads, saying…
“We know that people will be keen to see what happens to Gio next. The new campaign will firmly position him as the legend that we all know him to be, but will also see the introduction of new characters enabling us to convey aspects of the Gocompare.com service that differentiate the brand still further.”
Although my favourite line (and I’m sure it means something other than what I’m choosing to read it as meaning) comes at the end of the article…
A series of executions are set to appear throughout the year.
Christmas TV Clash
Posted: Thu 5 December, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Domestic, Festering Season, News, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »I don’t know why, but somehow it’s ‘news’ that major TV programmes will clash in their scheduling over Christmas this year. (And every year in the last 30 or so, I’m sure)
Now really, are these clashes something that will even affect most people any more? Since the advent of the video-recorder, we’ve been able to watch one programme and record another to view later. With DVRs/PVRs (Sky+, Freeview Boxes, TiVo etc.) it’s even easier, with two (or even three) recordings able to happen at once.
So – why is this a problem? I know not everyone has such a set-up, but I’d guess that the great majority have something that can record a programme. Plus there’s also all the VOD stuff (BBC iPlayer, ITVoD, 4OD et al.) allowing us to catch up later on anything that we do happen to have missed.
The only thing I can think of is that it screws the viewing figures for people watching [Programme X] right now, and viewing figures like that still seem to be the main reference point for how succesful a programme was. (And surely that has to change or be updated, with all the developments above?)
But still – does that make this newsworthy? Or should it really read “Newsflash : TV Schedulers Screw Up Again“?
Recovering Time
Posted: Tue 3 December, 2013 Filed under: Business, Catering, Domestic, Television, Time, Writing 4 Comments »Over the last few weeks (I really don’t want to figure out how many weeks) I’ve been unreasonably addicted to Masterchef Australia, which – thankfully – finished last week. It’s been on five days a week, which really has made it quite a timesink, but it’s been fun. I’ve liked the programme in previous seasons – it’s very Australian, which is a very good thing in my book – so it’s been worth the time invested. Up to a point.
As with all TV stuff, I don’t just sit and watch, I’m usually doing other stuff at the same time – including cooking and eating meals that were a lot less technical and inspiring than the stuff on the programme, which I always find somewhat ironic. But all the same, it’s been a lot of time sunk into a TV programme, and while I’ve enjoyed the great majority of it, I’m also somewhat relieved that it’s finished.
Big Screen
Posted: Tue 15 October, 2013 Filed under: Domestic, People, Technology, Television 3 Comments »An email went round work yesterday, that Costco have a 65″ TV on a special deal for £2,000. (I don’t know why we get these emails, but hey ho)
I’m just gobsmacked by that. A 65-inch screen – that’s nearly five-and-a-half feet of diagonal screen-size!
I honestly don’t get the desire/need for these super-large screens. Admittedly some of that is due to the fact I live in a tiny house where something that size would take up about two-thirds of the available wall space, but I still don’t get the appeal, the way that TVs now seem to dominate living space.
I used to have a big-ass wide-screen TV, although that was pre-flatscreens, and was a huge lump of Sony Trinitron that took two people to lift it. Even that though was only about a 36 or 38″ screen – this advertised one would be nearly twice that in size.
Fair play, other people seem to want TVs this size – it’s just not something I aspire to own, and I can certainly think of many better things to spend £2,000 on.
The Beginning of the End (Of the Year)
Posted: Fri 30 August, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season, Television 1 Comment »It’s only August, but we’re already building up towards the end of the year.
This weekend, it’s the return of evil Saturday-night ITV drivel ‘contest’ The X-Factor. Knowing that the target for this is (as always) the Christmas Number One single, you know it’s only [x] weeks ’til the Festering Season is upon us once more.
Next weekend, BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing is back on. In the same way, that’s now part of the run-up to the Festering Season.
I won’t be watching either of them, but it’s still a signpost that that fat old bearded bastard is on the way, red suit, reindeer and all.
Bah Fucking Humbug.
Body-Image and Vanity
Posted: Thu 1 August, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Health, People, Television, Thoughts, Weight Loss 1 Comment »On Channel4 this week there was a really good documentary(ish) with Alex Brooker about male body image, called “My Perfect Body”
It’s interesting to see how the perception of men’s bodies has changed over the last few years, and particularly a lot of men’s self-perception of their bodies, and particularly the assertions that a man isn’t ‘successful’ if they’re overweight, don’t have a six-pack stomach, etc. etc. In a lot of ways I think the programme was right, that a lot of men do ‘value’ themselves by way of their bodies, and that this is (at least to a degree) related to advertising/marketing, and those images of male perfection.
The other interesting side to it was about male vanity, and the surge in male grooming, ‘metrosexuality’, and even how male groups react to each others bodies; the basic answer being that men are (in many ways) bitchier to their friends than women are to their friends.
Personally, the whole vanity thing isn’t something I’ve ever been prone to. Yes, I currently want to lose some weight – but that’s more for health reasons and the like, rather than wanting to be thin/’successful’/’desireable’ and all that pap. Realistically, I’ll never be some 14-stone super-fitty, and honestly I don’t want to be.
I find it fascinating how the whole ‘group think’ perception seems to work, but I’m pretty immune to it. I wonder sometimes if that’s because I’ve never really had a whole group of male mates, and never been inculcated into that type of setup. I don’t know.
I’m not going to worry about it – part of my whole self-image/self-perception is probably more easily described as “This is me. Like it, don’t like it. Your choice”. In general, I’ve always found that seems to be a fairly healthy self-image, and it certainly causes me a lot less stress than a lot of people in the documentary…
Tour de France 100
Posted: Tue 2 July, 2013 Filed under: Domestic, Health, Television Leave a comment »Once again, it’s Tour de France time, and this one is the 100th race.
I’ve written about TdF before, but as always I’m just in awe of the people riding in it. Just taking part is a mind-boggling endeavour, let alone the achievement of winning the damn thing.
As always, it’s the final bits of each stage that I find truly gobsmacking – that these cyclists have already been cycling for three or four hours, up mountains etc., and still finish the stage with a sprint finish. I find that just awesome, and I can’t honestly think of another sport – or even really any other cycling event – where that happens. It’s not just endurance, it’s that mental and physical strength, the determination, and the pure physicality of that final surge, I think it’s amazing.
Stalker TV Ad
Posted: Sun 17 March, 2013 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Marketing, People, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »At the moment, Santander have a set of adverts ‘starring’ Jensen Button, Jessica Ennis and Rory McIlroy. Suffice it to say, they’re pretty creepy…
Seriously, what crack-headed advertising exec ever thought this would be a good idea? To have sporting ‘celebrities’ effectively invading the homes and lives of everyday people, and stalking them? I can’t even understand how it’s going to portray bankers and banking in a positive light.
Indeed for me all it does is serve to make me actively not want to use Santander for anything. Ever.
(Although, on a more cynical note, it does amuse me that Santander are also paying to have the logos for Nike and Adidas all over their ad)
Acid Attacks
Posted: Sat 19 January, 2013 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, People, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »Yesterday I watched the Channel 4 documentary “Saving Face” about Dr Mohammad Jawad, a renowned plastic surgeon who provides pro bono work rebuilding the faces of Indian women who have been the victims of acid attacks by their husbands.
Yeah, attacks with acid – usually sulphuric – being thrown in their faces. Seriously, what the absolute fuck?
I know women in India aren’t treated with the same accord as in the UK and other countries – but seriously, what kind of mindset is there that makes it OK, indeed ‘the done thing’, to disfigure your partner ? What the shit?
It’s just totally beyond me, I simply don’t understand the process that makes this kind of thing OK.
(And yes, I do know – but don’t understand – the philosophy that one’s woman/partner is just a possession, an object you can choose to keep, throw away, or burn to fuck with acid. I know the philosophy, but still, it’s just wrong. )
The Hotel, Channel 4
Posted: Sun 13 January, 2013 Filed under: Charm School, Customer Services, Cynicism, People, Television, Thoughts 2 Comments »On Channel 4, they’re currently showing a new series of “The Hotel”, about the Grosvenor Hotel in Torquay.
In many ways it’s absolute road-crash TV, the sort that makes you think “What were they thinking when they agreed to this?” . All the people portrayed are just horrendous, total idiots. Indeed, it’s so bad that you wonder if it’s not completely staged, one of these ‘scripted reality’ shows like “Only way is Essex” etc. Indeed, I’m not yet fully convinced that it’s not.
There are a couple of reasons I’m more given to believe that it’s just stupid people with no clue and no insight into how they appear. They are :
- I’ve worked with several people who have exactly those levels of self-delusion and stupidity. (Funnily enough, all in that same industry)
- The media coverage that the hotel did end up getting sold to new owners
All told, it’s another of Channel 4’s excursions into excruciating people and teeth-grinding situations.
Masterchef Australia
Posted: Fri 23 November, 2012 Filed under: Domestic, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Over the last few weeks, I’ve really got into Season 4 of Masterchef Australia on Watch. I’ve liked the UK Masterchef series, but the Australian version is very different, and much more enjoyable. (and addictive)
It’s indefinably Australian in feel – while the food is (obviously) of significance, there’s a secondary priority, that of teamwork, of ‘mates’, and I think that’s what makes it as a series.
Indeed, in one particular ‘pressure test’ the two combatants ended up working together, making the entire task work, and that teamwork and friendship was rewarded with the fact that neither person was removed from the competition. (And one of that pair actually goes on to win the competition)
I don’t watch many of the so-called ‘reality’ programmes (Hell, I’m not even sure Masterchef falls into that category – it’s more competition, I suppose) but I can’t deny, I’ve really enjoyed this series of Masterchef Australia.
Masterchef
Posted: Mon 24 September, 2012 Filed under: Design, Domestic, Food, Media, Television Leave a comment »While I like the UK Masterchef when it’s on, I find I prefer the Australian version. I don’t know exactly why, I just do.
This week, I’ve been watching it, and found a chef who actually does stuff I really want to try – if only for being really inventive and clever.
The chef is Peter Gilmore from the Quay restaurant, and he comes up with some amazing things…
Last year’s challenge was his Snow Egg
And this years was a beautiful chocolate dessert, the eight-texture chocolate cake, which I’d just love to try…
Wild and Free
Posted: Fri 10 August, 2012 Filed under: Animals, Stupidity, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Last night, Channel 4 had a documentary on the 2011 Ohio “Exotic Animal Release” called “America’s Animal Hoarder“. It’s not easy viewing, but it’s worth seeing.
It’s an amazing documentary, reflecting an episode I’d actually not heard about. Basically, Terry Thompson, a veteran of Vietnam, had amassed (legally) a collection of wild/exotic animals – Lions, jaguars, tigers, bears and more. On October 18, 2011, Thompson released his animals, and committed suicide. No-one really knows why – he’d been in jail, he was in debt, and (from the sound of the documentary) he had significant – and known – mental health issues.
In Ohio, there’s no law about the keeping of exotic/deadly animals. Thompson had also been a licensed “Class 3” firearms dealer (among other things) which allowed him to sell automatic firearms. He was a known “hoarder” – of vehicles, animals, anything.
It’s a really disturbing documentary, particularly if you happen to be an animal lover, or a fan of (particularly) big cats – and I qualify on both. They had to be shot dead – there was no other alternative, no way to tranquilise 50-60 animals and keep them safely. All the existing pens had been cut open – Thompson had cut the wire fencing, not just opened the doors.
The final toll was
- 8 tigers
- six black bears
- two grizzlies
- two wolves
- one macaque monkey
- one baboon
- three mountain lions
- nine male lions, and
- eight lionesses
You just can’t imagine having to kill that many rare animals – and knowing there’s no choice.
Really really sad – but as much of an indictment of Ohio law (and in some ways American laws in general) as of one individual with such obvious issues. Very, very sad.
Celebrity Sharktank
Posted: Thu 8 March, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Creativity, Cynicism, MOTB, People, Television, Thoughts 2 Comments »Over on Twitter today, I was having a conversation with a couple of friends, and an idea came to. It would never be made – but we can dream…
The idea, as the title of this post suggests, would be Celebrity Sharktank. (Or Celebrities Swimming with Sharks – either way)
The premise – and this is the good bit – is to take ten ‘celebrities’, and let them go swimming with a whole swarm of sharks. Great Whites, Makos, Hammerheads, all the good ones. Throw in a bit of chum (bloody meat/fish, if you didn’t know) and you’ve got a TV programme to be proud of.
The ‘Winner’ of the programme would be the last one alive. Of course, if the recovery crew were really slow at getting to the ‘Winner’, would anyone care?
In my mind, the contestants for the first episode would be :
- The Kardashian sisters
- Jedward
- Simon Cowell
- the cast of TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) and
- the cast of Jersey Shore
The first episode would be called “Feeding Frenzy” in honour of there being rather more victims (sorry, contestants) than usual. I suspect Cowell would “Win”, but only because there’s a limit to the shit that even a shark can eat.
I suppose the only downside of this would be the potential for complaints about cruelty to animals…
Apprenticed
Posted: Wed 6 October, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Business, Television 4 Comments »Oh dear God, the Apprentice is back on.
What always gets me (other than the absolute bollocks that most of these cunts spout) is that all these high-flying business people who are ‘at the top of their game’ are all available for three months of filming.
Yep, that’s high-flying for sure – so essential to their companies, they can take three months out.
Cunts.