Scheduled
Posted: Wed 5 June, 2019 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, D4D™, Domestic, Food, I Don't Understand, People, Solo Dining, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »At the moment, there’s an advert on TV for Just Eat, and it freaks me out a little bit.
There’s one part of it where they talk about people “ordering their usual”, and doing so at a specific time – implying that it’s the same thing every week. And that just weirds me out, that there are people out there who do the same thing every week, who eat the same meals with little to no variety.
At the same time though, it’s odd in other ways. I’m just as bad at being uninspired when it comes to meals and so on – but that’s when I’m just cooking for myself. If I’m paying for it (i.e. a takeaway, a restaurant meal or whatever) then I’m going to go for random stuff that I fancy eating.
So I think it’s the combination – that there are people who are paying for their meal and still only having the same thing at the same time – rather than *just* that it’s the same thing every time.
Anyway, it weirds me out – even though in some ways I’m also a massive hypocrite about it, as I’m semi-guilty of the same thing, but only in the privacy of my own home…
Idents
Posted: Fri 21 July, 2017 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Brands, Domestic, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »Of late, I’ve been watching a few more TV programmes on commercial channels, and as a result I’ve been seeing a lot more of the ident/sponsorship captions at the start and end of each ad break. (I’m sure there’s a proper name for them, but ‘ident’ will do for now) However, they primarily stick in the mind because they annoy me.
I know advertising is supposed to be all about brand recognition, making things that stick in the mind so we remember the company when we’re looking for whatever product they’re hawking. But all the idents (and a number of the primary adverts as well) only stick in my mind in order to be companies that I never, ever give any money to. (Which has happened several times now, looking for a product or service and knowing I won’t use [x] because their adverts annoy me so much)
Part of it, and the part that grates with me the most on idents, is a lack of range. I assume it’s a budgetary thing or something, but lots of them seem to make five idents, and think that’s enough. However, there are four ad-breaks, so there’s should be eight idents. Instead, we end up repeating at least a couple of idents – in just one programme! – and all that makes me think about the company is that they either haven’t thought things through, or they’re just cheap. Either way, I can’t see that as being the reaction/perception that the company is aiming for when they’ve spent a bundle on buying the slots and making the idents.
I mind less when they’ve only done the one ident – even thought it means it can end up being seen eight times per episode – because at least it’s simple and easy. It’s the supposedly-funny ones that aren’t amusing in the first place, let alone once you’ve seen it twice in an hour, and even less so over the full run of any series.
First Impressions
Posted: Sat 17 December, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Business, Catering, Cynicism, Literacy, Thoughts Leave a comment »It’s funny, sometimes, how a first impression – and sometimes even just a single word – can colour one’s judgement and feelings about something.
While geeking about yesterday, I did a google search for ‘Zucchini’ – a programme on TV was showing zucchini (courgettes) that were very different to the ones I recognise as courgettes, so I had a look.
And there on that results page, the second result was for Zucchini Restaurant in Batley, Yorkshire. It looks like this…
Yep – the first word of text on the site contains a spelling mistake. On an Italian word. For an Italian restaurant.
And just like that, I know I don’t want to go. If that’s their attention to detail, I’m out. Simple as that.
Advertising Standards – Feedback
Posted: Tue 27 September, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Cynicism, Domestic, Loyalty Schemes, Thoughts Leave a comment »A while back, I wrote about OpenTable and the dodgy wording of their Dining Points loyalty scheme. At the time, it had just been referred to the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority), who were investigating further.
Last week, they came back to me – and while it’s still informal, OpenTable are supposedly changing the wording on the screens, to make things clearer about how the Dining Points scheme works.
It’s still not a situation I’m entirely happy with, because it can still be easily misinterpreted, and there’s a lot of inherent dodginess in the entire thing. But at least it’s progress.
It’s still with the ASA, following on from my own responses, but it’ll be interesting to see whether anything else comes of it.
Advertising Standards
Posted: Sat 27 August, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Customer Services, Domestic, Food, Getting Organised, Loyalty Schemes, Marketing, OpenTable, Pedantry, Solo Dining, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »With the whole “Solo Dining” project I’ve been doing this year, one of my bugbears has become OpenTable (who provide a lot of the table-reservation services for restaurants) and – more particularly – their “Dining Points” loyalty plan.
As it says on that page about Dining Points,
OpenTable UK members can earn OpenTable Dining Points when they make and honor reservations made through opentable.com, or our related mobile sites and apps.
They say the same thing on another modal window to explain Dining Points.
“Earn points every time you dine”
Except that’s not true – not true at all. I queried why I’d received zero points for several reservations over the last year, and they then started to say (and this is a direct quote from one of the responses)
points are only given to diners who start their search on our website and not the restaurants website as you know. This is because as you came from the restaurant website, you are considered a customer of the restaurant and they use our services on the back end to take your reservation for them. If we started awarding points to the customers of our clients they would feel that we are trying to steal you as a customer.
So OpenTable are, frankly, liars. They say clearly throughout the site “make a booking through OpenTable, and get points“, with no provisos, asterisks, or get-out clauses. This isn’t even me being pedantic about something – they’ve said something (repeatedly, in black-and-white!) that’s simply not true.
This would’ve been an easy fix for OpenTable, if they’d had any sense at all. If they’d said “Oh, sod, sorry, here, have the points, and we’ll make that text clearer“, we’d be done. But no, they started backtracking, patronising, and explaining why I was so wrong to believe their “Get points every time you book” spiel. No apology, no “thanks for letting us know“, nothing. All the customer-service skills of a concrete monolith.
Having hit that concrete monolith with no joy, I decided to take it further. Having checked their criteria, I raised it with the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority) and I’ve now had a confirmation from them that, having done an initial review, they’re going to investigate it further.
So, that’s going to be entertaining. I’m assuming that getting an ASA investigation done isn’t a trivial step, nor one that the ASA do for the fun of it. I’m also assuming that, because they’re investigating, the complaint has at least some merit.
As and when I hear back, I’ll write more here…
Badly Worded
Posted: Wed 30 March, 2016 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Central Bedfordshire Council, Customer Services, Education, Literacy, Thoughts Leave a comment »Just now, my local authority (Central Bedfordshire council) tweeted this, which is hilariously badly-worded…
I replied, asking them if they meant that it was an event for underage drinking/drinkers, or if they meant it to be an event informing about (and/or preventing/reducing) underage drinking – as it certainly looked like the former.
In fairness, they then responded, and removed the original tweet.
But still, it made me laugh, picky and pedantic bastard that I am.
[UPDATED]
They then replaced that tweet with this one…
It really isn’t a good day for Central Beds’ social-media team. But it’s a very funny one for me…
Short-Term Let
Posted: Tue 9 June, 2015 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, Bad Ads, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Housing, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Three years ago, when I was looking at moving (and ended up where I still am now) there were a couple of other places in the running – they fitted my plans, location and cost wise, if nothing else.
I go past one of them regularly on commutes, visits to parents and the like – so I see it come back on the rental market every six months or so (which is, not coincidentally, the usual period for a first short-term tenancy)
It’s pretty grotty, and right on a busy main road, so I’m not surprised it’s regularly in need of new tenants – and it looks like this, so it’s hardly appealing…
That’s the only photo of it. There’s nothing of the inside at all – which always triggers my alarm bells, and is why I didn’t even visit it, so I’ve no idea what it looks like inside. I can’t imagine it’s much good though.
Even the sales description doesn’t do it any favours.
A One bedroom cottage situated on the outskirts of [village]. The property benefits from a parking area to the side and views of the countryside to the rear. Offered Unfurnished and Available Early July.
Entrance to Rear, Kitchen, Lounge, Bathroom, Double Bedroom, Shared Courtyard Garden, Double Glazed Windows, Electric Heating.
What fascinates me is that people choose it at all. OK, it’s dirt-cheap – although actually still a bit more expensive than the place I ended up with – but that doesn’t make it an appealing proposition. I’d imagine it’s even less of one after you’ve visited, seen the location and heard the road noise.
So I do wonder what type of person chooses it, and why. And (of course) where they go next, once their six months there is done…
Shotgun Mop
Posted: Sat 29 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Domestic, Television, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »With working from home, I’ve recently seen more adverts on TV than usual. Every so often, I get to one that just makes me wonder what the hell the advertising agency were thinking of – and what persuaded the client company to think it was a good idea too.
Today’s case is this one for a new type of mop by Spontex.
So what’s the message meant to be here?
Is it supposed to be funny?
Surely it can’t be intended to say “Using our new mop could put you at risk of getting shot by the police”?
And what the chuff is the motive for the hedgehog walking across the floor at the end?
I wonder if it will get pulled as and when the police accidentally shoot someone innocent…
Racist Epilation
Posted: Tue 25 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Cynicism Leave a comment »One aspect of working from home on a regular basis is that sometimes I get to see daytime TV – including, on occasion, adverts.
In this case, I saw one for the Homedics Duo epilator, and then noticed the small print at the bottom of the screen.
Not effective on red, grey, or light blonde hair. Not suitable for black skin
Now seriously, what the actual fuck is that all about?
An epilator that won’t work on any hair except brown, black (or, one assumes, ‘dark blonde’- whatever the fuck that is) and not on black skin. Makes it pretty shit, surely?
Mind you, that’s probably why they’re advertising it on bloody daytime TV…
The Devil in the Details – Lloyds
Posted: Fri 23 May, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Bad Ads, Cynicism, Finances, Marketing, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Following on from yesterday’s post about Nissan’s dodgy advertising, maths and small-print, the other ad currently incurring my ire is from Lloyds Bank, advertising their new “Club Lloyds” current account.
Now, while I think that clubbing Lloyds would be a fantastic idea, that isn’t the thing with this new account. Here’s the ad…
And again, here’s that small-print, while they’re bleating on about how great it is to have an account paying 4% interest…
Pay two separate monthly Direct Debits to earn variable tiered monthly interest. 4.0% AER (3.93% Gross) on balances between £4,000 and £5,000. Lower rates apply for lower tiers
So yep – that 4% interest ONLY applies if you keep more than £4,000 in your current account – but below £5,000. And if we look at that Club Lloyds webpage, what do we find? (I’m going to paraphrase, but you can look for yourself)
- Balances from £1 – £1,999.99 – 1% interest
- £2,000 to £3,999.99 – 2% interest
- £4,000 to £5,000 – 4% interest (and note how that band is half the size of the other two)
And right at the bottom of the explanation?
We don’t pay interest on amounts over £5,000.
Yep – no interest at all if you’ve got over the £5,000 in there.
Fuck you, Lloyds.
The Devil in the Details – Nissan
Posted: Thu 22 May, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Bad Ads, Corbett, Cynicism, Driving, Green, Marketing, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »As regular readers will know, I have a really bad habit of reading the small print. (I say ‘really bad’ although it’s not – anyone who doesn’t deserves everything they get. It’s just ‘really bad’ from the advertiser’s perspective) There’s two ads doing the rounds at the moment that annoy me, so you know what? You get two posts out of it. Lucky you.
The first (which arrived in my inbox just now, and motivated me to write it) was for a leasing arrangement on a new car – a Nissan Leaf, if anyone cares.
The deal offered is this :
The 100% electric New Nissan LEAF Visia Flex FROM ONLY £199 A MONTH*
WITH A £3,250 ADVANCE RENTAL CONTRIBUTION
OK, so they mention that “Advance Rental Contribution” (which is a deposit, surely?) right at the start, and already it’s skewing the figures. But then we get to the bottom, and the small print…
Finance is available subject to status on eligible new vehicles registered between 01/04/14 and 30/06/14 in the UK to persons aged 18 or over. Rental stated is for Nissan lease. Advance rental of £5,750 (includes £3,250 Advance Rental Contribution) followed by 48 monthly rentals of £199 a month and final rental of £6,201.
Hang on – £5,750 upfront? That’s another £2,500, on top of the “Advance Rental Contribution” – where has it come from, and what’s it for? Even if you take out the first month’s £199, that’s still £2,300 unexplained. Fucking hell.
All told – with all those amounts listed, that comes to £21,503. For a poxy Nissan Leaf.
But then it gets better… (Sorry, “better”)
Once you have paid the final rental you can keep using the car by paying an annual rental of £50 + VAT; if you choose Nissan lease then you will never own the car.
As well as entering in to a lease agreement for the vehicle, you will need to enter in to a separate lease agreement for the battery. Monthly price shown includes the on-going monthly battery lease charge of £70.
Now they’re just taking the piss, surely ? So even when you’ve stumped up your £21,503 – sorry, £21,563 including that little final ‘annual rental’ charge, then you will *still* be paying £70 a month for the fucking batteries?
Up yours, Nissan.
It’s a Pie
Posted: Tue 18 February, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Cinema, Cynicism, Marketing, Media, Pedantry, Writing Leave a comment »Another in the occasional series of “adverts that annoy me” – this one is one of the ones from Santander (which I still think are creepy, as I have said before)
Why does it annoy me? Again, because of one line.
At the start, we can see that the guy is making a pie, and putting a pastry lattice over the top. Yet the woman says
“I really like what you’re doing with that cake”
It’s a fucking pie, you idiot.
Bad Writing
Posted: Sun 16 February, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Bad Ads, Cinema, Films, Pedantry, Writing Leave a comment »Recently my visits to the local cinema have included the trailer below, for a new film called “Winter’s Tale”
Within that trailer is the line
I’ve had no memory for as long as I can remember
which just drives me crackers. Seriously, people get paid for writing piss like that?
I mean, if you’ve no memory then of course it’s for as long as you can remember. Because you’ve got no fucking memory, you insufferable ballbag!
And breathe…