Shortest

And here we are, at yet another Winter Solstice.

The shortest day, the longest night.

From here, the days get longer. Not by much, but it’s good to be on the new cycle.


Into 2020

It’s been interesting (for no good reason other than that this is a year that ends in a zero) to look back at what was going on this time ten years ago.

It’s fair to say that a lot has changed in that time – albeit none of it recently.

Back then I was still in Norfolk, and working in Bury St Edmunds (and I did keep the promise to stick with the one workplace for the full year of 2010)  I’d just had the first (and still only) accident of my driving career, sliding on ice onto a set of concrete fence posts, which did a blinding job of twatting the front nearside.

So in that ten years, I’ve

  • split with Herself, had another shorter-term relationship, and been single now for much longer than either one.
  • moved four times – and been in one place (the current one) for far longer than anywhere else I’ve ever lived since leaving home
  • changed jobs more times than I care to think about (I could work it out, but truly can’t be chuffed) and been doing the current one for far longer than I ever expected
  • been through the whole bankruptcy process, and come out the other side
  • been to more plays and theatre things than I’d ever have thought I’d have been to
  • and the same for restaurants – Michelin-starred and otherwise. This time ten years ago, I’d not been to any Michelin places – that happened in mid-2010, and I wasn’t impressed at the time. Maybe I should go back there, maybe not.
  • changed car twice, and rented a bundle of others as needs directed

There’s a lot of other stuff – it’s interesting to see how a lot of the things I wanted to change then that I still want to change now, for example – and I’ll write more about that elsewhere/elsewhen.

It’s a whole new decade out there (and I can’t be arsed with the argument about whether that’s 2020 or 2021, so don’t bother) and it’ll be interesting to see what happens next.


Equinoctual

Today is the Autumn Equinox, when the day and night are equal in length.

What that means is the from now until next March, the nights will be longer than the days.

Winter is coming, my friends, winter is coming


Small Wins – Backup

Way, way back in the day – Nov 2006, to be precise – I bought a backup drive for all my music, photos and work. It wasn’t anything hugely special – a now laughable 320Gb drive – but it did what I wanted, and made sure I’d got everything preserved.  (Amusingly, I just took a look, and the roughly-similar drives now done by WD start at 3Tb!)

And then I moved a few times, and the drive got separated from its power brick, and I sort of gave up on it a bit.  Over the last few years I’ve mainly been using online backups instead (which mean that as soon as I save a file, it’s backed up, and synchronises to my other machines) and the drive became even less of an issue.

I always knew where the drive itself was, even though I was fairly sure I’d lost (or thrown away) the power lead/brick.  The drive has been on one of my bookcases, doing nothing except attracting dust.

Last weekend, though, I found a random power cable that looked like it might fit the drive.  So I took them both into my office this week, and gave it a go.

At the end of the day, I’d pretty much given up on it – it’s been sat there doing sod-all for a number of years, and has been carelessly moved, shoved in boxes and so on. So I expected nothing.

And yet, when I plugged the cables in and connected it to the laptop, it all worked. Straight away, with no issues, clanks, grinds, or other Warning Noises Of Doom.  Needless to say, I’m actually pretty impressed.

Of course, I’ll also now be working to ensure that a lot of it is backed up somewhere else as well, as that drive is distinctly venerable, but all the same, it’s a bit of a win for it all to have come back in the way it has.

 


Seven Days

Just think – this time next week, Christmas will be all over, and we’ll be starting to see the adverts for holidays, and stopping smoking.

Days will be getting (slightly) longer, and we’ll be over the worst.

Two weeks’ time, and we’ll be in 2019 and seeing what that brings.

How time flies when you’re having fun, eh?


Aussie Masterchef (Again)

Tonight, one of my favourite cooking shows is back on TV for another year.

No, not Great British BakeOff (although I may watch that as well) – but Masterchef Australia.  It’s the only Masterchef version I still bother with, mainly because it’s just so different from all the others.

As the Guardian says in this article, Aussie Masterchef is a huge commitment – it’ll be something like 65-70 episodes all told – but it’s also a joy. (Other than the opening credits/intro, which is truly fucking awful) It’s utterly Australian, with a real focus on people pulling together and supporting each other rather than it being a cut-throat competition. The judges aren’t as aloof as in other versions, and generally are more friendly and supportive.

Hell, even the guest chefs come across better than they do in other things. I’ve gained more respect for people I previously couldn’t abide – Marco Pierre White is the primary example here, a man with a reputation for being an utter tosspot, who instead provides constructive feedback and help to the competitors. (However, even Aussie Masterchef can’t make Jamie Oliver into anything other than a lisping Mockney twat you’d never tire of punching)

So yeah, I’ll be watching again. It’ll mean other TV things take a bit of a back seat for the next few weeks, but I can catch up on them when Masterchef Australia is over and done with.


Time Flying

Over the weekend, I had a thought about when I was living up in Manchester, and I wondered how long it had now been since I was living there.

The only easy way to be sure was to check on the D4D archives, and it turns out I left for Bracknell in December 2004.

Fourteen years ago, at the end of the year.  That’s pretty scary – how time flies, and all that jazz.


Time To Spare

I’ve written before about my tendency to be horrifically early for things – I like having time to spare, and I’m happy with being where I’m supposed to be, with a book, phone etc., and can happily while away the time.

It also, on occasion, gives me time to sort things out when I’ve sodded them up – which was the case on Sunday.

The car’s air-conditioning has been noticeably weaker this summer, so I’d decided to have it re-gassed, and see if that made a difference. I booked an appointment with Kwik-Fit to get it done on Sunday morning, and turned up (early) to where I thought I had it booked in.

Only… it wasn’t booked in there.  Knackers.  I couldn’t find the confirmation email (still no idea what happened to that) so ended up having to call their main customer centre to try and find out.  Turned out – either through my own stupidity, or some kind of system glitch – that it was actually booked on the other side of town from where I was. Knackers again.

But because I’d been horrendously early, it meant I still had the time to get across to the correct place in time for my appointment – and even had time to spare!

It all worked out fine in the end – but if I’d been punctual for the first one, I’d have been utterly kippered for getting to the proper place on time!


Dragging

This week is always a tough one for me – I find that more and more, my body is really messed up by the changing of the clocks. It leaves me slightly disoriented, particularly because daylight levels have suddenly changed according to the clock. For example, last week I was getting up in the dark to be ready for work, but evenings still had some light to them.  Now, arbitrarily on one day, it’s changed so that I’m rising and going to work with daylight, but that the evenings are darker much ‘sooner’.

Because of the Seasonal Depression I get anyway, I know that my brain is aware of light levels and so on, but it’s always interesting to see what affects it. It’s not fun while I’m in that change, but it’s still interesting to see it.

All told it leaves me just out of kilter, more tired than usual, and just that nagging feeling that Something Is Not Right.  It eases off – it usually takes about a week to do so, so we’re nearly there now – but it’s a tough week of being tired, demotivated, and slightly crankier than usual.

And of course it’s not helped by also a ) being very close to my birthday, and b ) having been another busy week or so. I was away last weekend, I’ve been out most evenings this week, and then it’s busy this weekend as well, although I’ll at least be home in the evenings/nights.  Being out so much also means that the cats decide I’m leaving or something, and get extra clingy and annoying while I’m home – which also doesn’t improve my mood or temper. I’m not good at being In Demand – and particularly not at being In Demand And Shouted At – but there we go, that’s what this week has entailed.

It’ll all ease off again, I know.  It just means that this week post-clock-change is a beast.


A Decade

For a number of reasons, I’ve been thinking a lot about time past, so I had a look back at what was going on here ten years ago.

Man, there’s been a lot of change in that time.

Back then, I was newly in Norfolk, living with Herself (and Hound and Psycho Cat, of course), still in the rented place and in the process of buying the Norfolk place. Working in Cambridge, and generally settled for the time.

How time flies, and all that piss.  Food for thought, etc etc


Thirteen

Today, D4D™ is celebrating its thirteenth birthday.

Way back in 2002, when I wrote D4D™’s first post in Blogger, things were very different…

And despite having slowed down and slacked off for periods over that time, it has to be said that D4D has outlasted

  • No less than eight houses (or at least my tenancies in those houses) – I’m still in the ninth place, so we don’t know which will win on that score
  • Four relationships
  • Two cars
  • Countless jobs and contracts – I’ve come up with a rough figure of 22, but I’m sure I’ve missed at least two
  • Oodles of other stuff I’m not going to rehash

There have been pauses, and things have definitely slowed down when it comes to writing here. But it’s still going, and we’ll have to wait and see what the future holds


Three Years In One Place

It’s now three years since I moved into the current house – which also means I’ve been single that long.  How time flies, and all that rot.

I’m definitely still here for another six months (that’s when the current tenancy expires) and I’m still undecided on what I do from there.

I suspect I’ll stick with it for another year’s tenancy, to be honest – unless anything in life changes radically in that period.  That’s quite scary in some ways, it’s almost like I’m feeling more settled and (almost) putting down some roots.

That’s not the case though – the current place isn’t where I want to stay longer-term, but at the moment it’s just convenient, and – as I’ve said before – makes travelling easy to just about anywhere else.


Travel Time

The trip to Edinburgh this weekend is also pretty much the first time I’ve taken a long-distance train journey since I lived in Manchester. I was considering driving, but looked at a minimum of six hours each way, as well as the consideration of fuel costs etc., and thought “You know what? Eff that”.  (Which is pretty novel in itself)

So I checked out the train costs – the journey’s about 5 hours each way by train, and the ticket price is pretty much on a par (within £10 or so) of the expected fuel costs. Plus it’ll mean I get to read, write, or just look out of the window, rather than being stuck having to concentrate on driving the entire way.

All told, it’s really been quite a sensible decision.  I’m not sure how it happened – I normally see a sensible decision and run in the opposite direction.  I’ll write more about it once I’m back, and know how it all went.


Looking Back – 2015 vs. 2014

One thing I’ve noticed this year is that so many people who had an absolutely rotten 2014 seem to be doing much better in 2015 – myself included. (And yes yes, all hail the gods of Fate, and do not tempt them to be bastards)

It’s not any “new year new you” type bullshit – several times I’ve had conversations where friends have observed just how much easier this year has been than the last one was. There’s no viable logic for it, but it’s what seems to have happened. Friends who fought bureaucracy and uncaring jobsworths for all of 2014 have suddenly found doors opening in ’15, with additional “Oh, you should also contact [x]” type referrals that add extra beneficial factors.

From my side, the seven weeks (so far) of 2015 have been infinitely more positive than the same time last year.  Still chaotic and hyper-busy, but in far more positive ways than I’d have expected.

I’m hoping that the rest of the year maintains this initial attitude. Even if it does get a bit tougher further down the line, all I would ask for (and hope) is that it doesn’t end up as shitty as any of 2014 was.

And no, Gods of Fate, that is not a challenge being issued.


Night Will Fall

Over the weekend, as part of Holocaust Memorial Day, Channel4 showed a documentary called “Holocaust – Night Will Fall” about the films made by the allied forces as they discovered Nazi Germany’s various concentration and death-camps at the end of World War 2, and recorded what they saw and discovered.

While absolutely vile – despite descriptions, you never really see the true results of those camps – it was also essential viewing, and a fascinating story as well.  No modern film can truly show the effects of emaciation on bodies – no actor, regardless of dedication, would put themselves to that level – so you might see people being “very thin”, but the recordings on Night Will Fall put all of that into perspective. It’s not something you can look away from, but nor can you believe either the way the bodies are/were, or the sheer number of deaths. The piles of spectacles, the boxes of dentures, the sacks of human hair – they all show how many died, but you still can’t actually understand the sheer scale of the deaths.  I truly don’t think anyone can envision millions of bodies.

The other impressive thing about the programme was that Channel4 showed it without adverts. A ninety-minute film, straight through. I thought that said a lot about Channel4 (although the more cynical would say “who would actually buy advertising space in the middle of a holocaust documentary anyway?”) but it’s still a commitment on the part of C4, and I fully believe that should be acknowledged and respected, as they’re primarily a commercial channel.

The film/documentary itself, I just think everyone should see it, and that it should be shown in schools as part of a default history curriculum. That sort of thing just should never happen again. Ever.


Obsessional Issues

For the New Year, and as part of the whole “Write More” part of the resolutions etc., I’m trying hard to get back into writing – and other aspects of creativity – on a regular basis. (Which explains why D4D™ has become a bit more busy this month too!)

2014 hasn’t been a good year for my writing in general, although I have been able to get started on a couple of things in the last three months, and want to continue building those up, making progress.

The thing is, I’m not really good at the whole “writing obsessively” thing – or indeed doing anything obsessively. For whatever reason, I just don’t possess that obsessive section of brain/emotion. I’m a crap collector, because while I don’t mind building up sets of things, I don’t care/obsess enough about it all to get the rarities, the things that true collectors always dream of. It doesn’t matter whether that’s books, stamps, music, or anything else – I just don’t care enough to obsess about the rarities.

As a result, it’s work to write etc., and that’s what I’ve been attempting to build up over the last few months – generally successfully.

With D4D™ I’ve been writing more, but pre-dating some of them, so I’ve got the time. But it’s building up a writing routine.

In the same way, I’ve been forcing myself to get out and do walks round the village a couple of times a day, just to keep things moving, and to get some exercise. I do that whether the weather is good or bad – and actually enforce it more when the weather’s bad, because then I’ve no excuse when it’s good.

So I’m working more on building up routines, getting used to doing these tasks and activities, and making them part of the day. The writing is part of that, the things I have in my head to write this time round aren’t essential brain-splurges of healing ventage, they don’t *have* to be expelled from my brain for my own health and sanity.

I’m getting there, and 2015’s looking like it’ll be an interesting time…

 


Looking Back

While looking back at historical D4D™ stuff for other birthday-related reasons, I realised that this month it’s eight years since I moved to Norfolk with Herself.

How time flies, eh?

Of course, in that time I’ve lived in

  • 2 places in Norfolk
  • 3 in Suffolk
  • 1 in Bedfordshire

Six places in eight years. Some things never change – but apparently my living situation isn’t one of them.


Location Fixation

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been thinking a lot about location – where I live, where I work, where I want to live, all that. I’ve been in the current house for two years now, and I know I’m getting a bit twitchy.

The current tenancy doesn’t expire ’til November though – due to an initial six-month one, followed by 12-month ones. As a result, I’ve had plenty of time to think about it, look at the pros and cons, and – I think – I’ve now pretty much made a decision.

As has been noted on many occasions, I’m not all that good with permanence – I like change, embrace it even. It suits me. So two years in the same place is enough to make me twitchy, to start to feel that itch in the back of my skull.

It’s not too bad at the moment though. I’ve certainly had it far, far worse than this. If I were still in the same job as well, the options would be different – I’d be needing to move on in both cases. As it is, I’ve been back on the contracting since July, and it’s kept things decently varied – which means the house side of things can relax a wee bit.

There are places I’d like to move to, some new locations and some old. (Or at least close enough to qualify as revisits) They’re more about reflecting how much life has changed in the last few years, most particularly the ability to drive, which opens up whole new vistas.

For example, I’d like to go back to the North-West, live around the Peak district somewhere. I wouldn’t live in Manchester itself again, but there’s loads of places around it that I really like. It’s still a front-runner when the move does happen.  The same applies for the South Coast, and Dorset in particular. It’s an area I love, but didn’t really get to appreciate as much as I could’ve done, because I didn’t drive. So yes, that’s also a front-runner.

There’s other places too. A revisit to Bath and/or Bristol wouldn’t be out of the question – particularly when not combined with an insane commute, ideally – and there’s new locations too. I’d consider most places, but Nottingham and Derby have always been good to me, and there’s a whole heap of other places. (Plus a long-standing idea to sod off to somewhere like Cork)

However, right now there’s also a bigger plan in place. Rebuilding after the bankruptcy, seeing what comes next, as well as looking at work and finances and what the hell I want to do/be when I grow up. There’s ideas on that score, but I need to have the time and inclination to do something about them. Time I’ve got. Inclination? Less so, right now. But that’s a post for another day.

I could move, sure. But practicality-wise, where I am right now is pretty much perfect for me right now. It’s not a long-term location, but for now it’s good. I’ve got all the transport links I need – my commuting radius for work covers an insane amount of miles. It makes my contractor life a lot easier. Location isn’t in many (if any) of those calculations I have to do. For me, right now, that’s an important factor, and outweighs pretty much everything else.

Financially, it’s easy. If I move North then the odds are that my rent would drop. But for where I am, for what I’ve got right now, I couldn’t do much better. I’d like some extra space, an extra room or two – but it’s not something that’s necessary right now either.

All told, while I would kind-of like to move, I don’t need to move. And staying put has its advantages too – location, money, blah blah.

That means that – in the lack of a good reason for moving other than “But I want to” – I’ve decided I’m going to plan to stay where I am for the next eighteen months. The six months from now for the current tenancy, and then extend it by another twelve.

Of course, the landlord might decide to sell up or something, or work may throw up something that makes me have to move. Neither option is likely, but they could happen. But short of those kind of eventualities, I’m going to face up to things, and not move.

By that time – November 2015 – I’ll have been in this place for three and a half years. Then I think it’ll be time to move on – or at least move up. If my work is still keeping me based in a way that the current location is still OK then I’ll just look at moving to a bigger place locally. If things change or work isn’t a limitation (I can work from pretty much anywhere, after all) then it might be a big location change too. We’ll see.


Shortest

Today, December 21st, is this year’s Winter Equinox – the shortest day of the year.  And about damn time too.

Today, the sun will be around for 7h 44m 14s , even if it doesn’t feel like it’s that long. Tomorrow’s only one second longer, but by the end of the year the sun will be setting after 4pm, and the day will already be five minutes longer, at 7h 49m 32s. It’s not much, but it’s an improvement.

In six months time, the day will be 16h 44m 24s, a full nine hours longer. I know that’s nothing in comparison to  Tromsø (for example) where December is truly dark and June is completely lit.

All the same, knowing that today is the shortest day is a reason for celebration, and keck-all to do with the oncoming Festering Season.


Recovering Time

Over the last few weeks (I really don’t want to figure out how many weeks) I’ve been unreasonably addicted to Masterchef Australia, which – thankfully – finished last week.  It’s been on five days a week, which really has made it quite a timesink, but it’s been fun.  I’ve liked the programme in previous seasons – it’s very Australian, which is a very good thing in my book – so it’s been worth the time invested. Up to a point.

As with all TV stuff, I don’t just sit and watch, I’m usually doing other stuff at the same time – including cooking and eating meals that were a lot less technical and inspiring than the stuff on the programme, which I always find somewhat ironic.  But all the same, it’s been a lot of time sunk into a TV programme,  and while I’ve enjoyed the great majority of it, I’m also somewhat relieved that it’s finished.

 


6,500

Yes, this is the 6,500th post on D4D™, according to WordPress. So what better time to look at what may be happening here over 2014? (There’s no guarantees, it’s more about where my head’s at right now)

In just over a month, it’ll be 2014. As usual, I’m not making any resolutions for 2014 – that old ‘everyone else does it, so I’m not‘ thing kicking in again – although there is the stuff from Project 42 (i.e. what I want to do from November to November) to consider. Which all means I have to balance out time across a number of things – something I’m renownedly abysmal at doing.

So – what may happen is that D4D may step back a bit, maybe not have the daily updates. (Of course it might stay the same, too. It kind of depends on everything else)  I’ve got some writing ideas – as well as some other things I’m not going to go into right now – and I need to make time for them. I’ll still be updating, it just might not be daily.

This coming year is going to be interesting. There’s a lot of potential ideas and plans, a lot of stuff I’d like to do, but I do need to figure things out in order to be somewhat realistic about it as well. I’m going to take time over December to get things in place, work out priorities, form that limited company that needs doing, and a bundle of other prep crap to let 2014 be as productive as possible.

As for D4D™, it’ll keep on going – on and on. I can’t guarantee another 6,500 posts (who could?) but it’s not being planned to die off anytime soon.


Getting Darker

Last weekend, we switched back from BST to GMT, which is just another major clue that winter is just about here. (If you’ve missed the storms/gales, fireworks, X-Factor, Strictly, autumn leaves, shorter days etc.)

Thankfully, the gaining of an hour doesn’t usually affect me too much – the loss of one in spring usually hits me a bit harder, but still not all that much.

However, it appears to have somewhat confused the cats, who really don’t know what to make of it all. Food times have been disrupted, as well as everything else.

What does affect me the most, though, is the fact that I’m now leaving work and driving home in the dark. I don’t mind night-time driving, but still I find the darkness affects me just because it reduces the amount of available sunlight I get during the day.  Indeed, the next time I’ll be even close to driving home in daylight is at the end of February.

As with previous years, I always found that the thing that affected me the most with getting home in the dark was getting back to an unlit house. Particularly when I was in Manchester, that return to a dark and empty house was very unpleasant, and since then I’ve always made a point of having at least one light on a timeswitch, so it’s on when I get home.  It’s a ridiculous thing, but it makes such a massive difference in my head – very strange.


Legalised

It’s now two years since my little spat with Ian Corbett (of Toyota Ireland) and his legal advisors was completed.  I said at the time that the way they’d requested things to work out wouldn’t actually get rid of the search engine results that annoyed him so much. But he’s a marketing manager, so one assumes he knows these things, and that I would be wrong.

On a random whim, I searched the other day on Google for said person – and lo, I was right. Even when searching for just name + company (with no mention of D4D™ at all) up comes D4D™ with a nice healthy 4th place in the search results. And now there’s also Google Images, I can also see what the glaikit bawbag looks like, too.

All told, I can’t deny, I do find this very amusing. And there’s nothing at all I can do about it, it’s all in the hands of That There Google.


Time Out

This week (and some of next) I’m actually on leave from the job. This is A Very Good Thing.

I don’t have much in the way of plans, the main thing is just Not Working, and taking the much-needed time out.

Of course, there are things I want to do, or at least get onto “paper” and out of my head, but that’s all going to be done on my terms, rather than within the demands of an office.

I’m sure there’ll be a couple of days out and the like along the way, but really the main thing is just time out. It’s been a pretty hectic first third of the year, and the next one isn’t looking like it’ll be any quieter, so downtime is definitely a good plan.


Catching Up, and Updates

This year, I’ve actually sent out Christmas Cards – not something I always do, by any means. It’s also been a way of making sure people have new address details, as I know in some cases I’ve been utterly crap with keeping friends up to date on where I am. (And in some cases I know my addresses take up more than a page in their address books)

It’s been a good thing, too. I’ve caught up with a couple of friends whose situations had changed quite radically – one who’s now married, and one who’s now separated, as well as another who’s had a number of relatives with hospital-based issues and the like.

All told, it’s been a worthwhile exercise. I do feel slightly guilty for being a shit mate and not knowing these things already, but at least I know now, so it could be worse.

And now just to get on with the actual catching up…


Finished for the Year

Today was my last day in the office ’til 2013 – for which no-one is more amazed than me.  I’m now off for no less than 13 days – allbeit covering the Festering Season – which is going to be very strange.

Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was off work for that long (and particularly being off on proper Holiday pay, rather than just not working) but it’s going to be good to have the time. Indeed, I’m currently so tired and wiped out, just having the time is a real bonus.

I don’t know yet what I’m going to do with most of my leave, other than relax. There’s some bits planned, which will all be good, but primarily, relaxing and preparing for 2013 will be the main objectives.

And it’s going to be needed – one of my final actions today was to list the projects my team will be working on for the first three months. Suffice it to say, it’s a big damn list, with 17 projects (as well as ongoing projects) between three of us…


What’s Next ?

Looking back over the archives, it’s now five years (nearly 5 years 1 month, in fact) since I moved (with Herself) into the first house I’d owned, or been involved in owning. (And still the only house, actually) Which means that it’s eight years since I got together with Herself – and it’s also seven and a half years since I left Manchester, but that’s less relevant to this post.

Now, five years on, I’m back to being on my own, back in a rented place.  It wasn’t entirely my choice, more a conclusion to plenty of events in the run-up, but it’s where things are, and I’m going to try and make the best of it.

The thing is, I don’t really feel like I’ve made any progress in those eight years. Sure, there’ve been lots of changes, and lots of stuff has happened, but when all’s said and done, have I progressed? No – indeed I’d say I’m in a worse situation than I was back then.

Back in 2004, I was working – admittedly at a job I didn’t much like – and doing OK. My finances were up-and-down, more so than they should’ve been, but I really only had debts of £1,000 at any one time – my bank overdraft, and that was it. The house was rented, and was OK. I didn’t drive (ah, OK, that’s progress) – but I didn’t need to, with a decent transport system at my door. Sure, longer travel was more of a pain, but I was used to that.

Now, I’m working – at a job I like, but don’t want to do Forever – and my finances are shit. I owe a significant amount of money, and know it’s going to take a long time to sort that out. That debt has been my own choice, to a degree, but I’m not happy about it, and I want to get rid of it. It’s just that sometimes that looks like a bit of an insurmountable task.  The house is rented, and is OK. I do drive, and have a car, so yeah, that’s progress.

I don’t have any assets, realisable or not, and I don’t really have anything of merit going for me right now.

The job? It’s OK – even good – but it’s not really what I want to do any more. Except I don’t know what I do want to do, either.

And with everything else going on, I most certainly don’t feel like I’ve anything to offer anyone else. I don’t want anyone else either, so it’s not all bad, but it’s the feeling that’s just a bit grim right now. All I’m going to focus on for the foreseeable is getting myself sorted out, figuring out what I want to do/be, finding what (if anything) makes me happy, and all that jazz. It’s not reinvention time, but it is – I think – rediscovery time.

What’s going to come next? I honestly don’t know. This is either a new beginning that leads to something interesting, or it’s the beginning of the end. Who knows which way it’ll go? Not me, that’s for sure.

[Note : I’m just having a down day. Not great, not by a long chalk. But I’ll get through it, one way or t’other]


2012 – The next twelve months

This year I’m not going to lay down a big old list of plans. They rarely work out, or I’m just too ambitious – or other things take over.

Take last year’s list, for example :

  • Write more
  • Take more photos
  • Do more websites
  • Get more business
  • Pay stuff off
  • Get off the antidepressants

Not much, really. Yet most of it didn’t quite happen. Work and life got in the way, and things just didn’t quite happen.

Mind you, I did get off the antidepressants, and I did take photos when I got the chance, so that’s not too bad. I also completed a fair few websites, and some other projects – just not for myself.

I think I’ll be keeping the same basic list for this year though.  It’s written with the best of intentions – but the knowledge that things change, including my motivation.  But I think the 2012 list will be (in no particular order) :

  • Write more
  • Photograph more
  • Owe less
  • Weigh less

And that’ll do, I think.


Time Leaps

And along with it being nearly April (OK, they’re connected in a way) it occurs to me that come this weekend we’ll be doing the spring forward time change to BST instead of GMT as well.

Of course the relation is that GMT always starts on the last weekend of March. I still find that the mnemonic of “Spring Forward, Fall Back” is the best one for remembering whether we’re gaining or losing an hour, despite the horrific Americanism of “Fall”.

It’ll confuse things for us a bit, as we’ll be coming home from the Peter Gabriel gig at the O2 at the time, but I guess that might help too as we won’t be missing an hour while asleep. Still, makes for an eventful weekend.


Time Flies

It hadn’t occurred to me ’til just now that April is just round the corner. A week on Thursday, we’ll be out of the first quarter of 2010.

How the hell did that happen? Where’ve the last three months fucked off to?