Embarassing Fat Bodies

Posted: Wed 16 January, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, 2012/13, Cynicism, Food, Health, People, Thoughts, Weigh Less, Weight Loss | Leave a comment »

Channel 4’s got a new series of “Embarassing Fat Bodies” at the moment, and it’s really annoying me.  Not just because of my own ongoing issues with weight-loss, but just because of the people.

I know I’ve a long way to go, that’s a foregone conclusion. As such I’ve probably not got much room to talk, currently. You know what? I really don’t care.

You see, the difference with me is that I’m doing something about it. I’m taking the hints from my body, and I’m doing something about it.

The people on Embarassing Fat Bodies just don’t – or at least haven’t – and it’s like they’re waiting for some bloody wizard to come along and wave a wand at them to fix the problem.

One of the people on this week’s programme had a hernia the size of a basketball, a lipoma the size of two footballs, is housebound, and has a BMI of 79. Yes, seventy-fucking-nine! But still she eats – and admits to eating – meals for three or four people.

Another one, 35 stone, BMI of 66 waddled in, having done a food diary, talking about “a bag of crisps”. It turned out that what she meant by that was the huge family-bag size bag of crisps. This is someone who can’t stand, and has brought an office-chair into her kitchen so she can scoot around the kitchen rather than walking around it.  But still, a diet of crisps, chocolate, full-fat fizzy drinks.

How long does it take to pick up the hints? If you’re that size, at least cut down what you’re eating, or go for the healthier alternatives!

Again, I’m not perfect, I know. Some of my diet isn’t grand – but my intake is on the low side, not the excesses listed by some of the people on this programme.

Taxi to the Kerb

Posted: Wed 9 January, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Parking | Leave a comment »

When I got home last night, I was greeted by this exceptional piece of parking, that really did need to be credited.

Car needing a taxi to the kerb

Couldn’t be much further out

From another viewpoint…

Still half a mile from the kerb

And from another viewpoint

You really couldn’t make it up.

On the Shoulder

Posted: Thu 27 December, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, Commuting, Domestic, Driving, Stupidity, Thoughts, Work-related | 2 Comments »

One of the developments in the work that’s been going on with the M1 has been a new congestion relief scheme.  It’s been piloted on other motorways (mainly around Birmingham) and has now made its way to junctions 7 to 15 on the M1.

The plan is surprisingly simple, but takes a lot of work beforehand. Basically, the hard shoulder becomes a fourth lane in times of need, and new ‘refuges’ off the hard-shoulder are put in for cars that actually have broken down.

It’s a good scheme, and since going ‘live’ in early December it’s worked well, except for one assumption that has turned out to be rather flawed.  And that assumption is this : that drivers actually read motorway signs.

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about drivers who can’t (or won’t) think ahead and so fuck up traffic for everyone, and this is a similar situation.

Basically, when you can use the hard shoulder, the road information signs read “Congestion. Use hard shoulder“.  You’d think that was pretty simple, and easy to understand. But no, most drivers appear to not see it, or not understand it.

How do I know? Because I do use the hard shoulder, and blast past the drivers in the other three lanes. (When I say ‘blast’, I’m usually going 60 – it’s just the other three lanes are stuck and doing 40) It’s perfectly legal, because I’m not jogging between lanes, just sticking to my inner lane and going past slower traffic.  But when I do, a good 40% of the drivers flash their lights at me, implying (I assume) that they think I’m doing something wrong. Which implies that they’ve not read the signs, that they think the hard shoulder isn’t for driving on.

It’s not common yet, which could be the other reason people don’t get it. Whether it’ll catch on, I don’t know. But I do know it works pretty well so long as you can read the damn signs.

Oh Good God

Posted: Fri 16 November, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, Charity, Domestic | Leave a comment »

Once more, it’s Children in Need day.

This means I’ll be avoiding people like the plague all day. Yes, even more than usual.

Driving in the Fog

Posted: Thu 15 November, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Commuting, Driving, Fog, Work-related | 1 Comment »

This morning, as with several others recently, there was a really thick fog during my morning commute.

Personally, I don’t mind driving in fog – it’s not something that worries me. What does worry me, though, are the other drivers. I’ve driven on empty roads in fog which is fine, and I’ve done night drives in fog which are also fine.

But a rush-hour drive in fog is something else – it’s like people just activate the “fuckwit” button in their heads, and away we go.  Even worse, those fuckwits partake in polar opposites.  You either see people with foglights on when they don’t need to be (for instance, if you’re sat in a jam of slow-moving traffic, you don’t need your sodding fog-lights on) or with no lights on whatsoever. (That’s one that utterly boggles my mind – particularly the drivers of silver cars with no lights)  You either see people driving at 20mph or 80mph.

I don’t know why fog affects people this way – or maybe it just accentuates normal stupidity – but it makes the roads an interesting experience.

Hallowe’en

Posted: Wed 31 October, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, Domestic, Festering Season, Hypocrisy, People, Thoughts, Weirdness | 1 Comment »

Yes, once again it’s that time of year.

The one where, after telling children all year that they shouldn’t talk to strangers, let along accept sweets etc. from strangers, it’s now acceptable – but only for one night (and the following weekend, of course) – to go knocking on doors and – um – accept sweets from strangers.

What could possibly go wrong?

I feel the same about Santa in the Festering Season – again, don’t talk to strangers, but oh, it’s ok this time because you’re talking to Santa and accepting presents. Hey, good move.

 

In short, ’tis the season to introduce your children to hypocrisy and double-standards. Enjoy.

Odd Name Choice

Posted: Sun 14 October, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, Commuting, Cynicism, Driving, Thoughts | Leave a comment »

Travelling on the M1 today, I saw a truck for a company called “Fly By Nite” (a courier company)

Now in my mind, “Fly by Night” (regardless of the spelling) is synonymous with something really dodgy – usually smuggling, and the like.

So it seems like an odd choice for a name, but maybe I’m wrong.

Would you use a company where the name was (in your perception) dodgy?

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