Irresponsible ?
Posted: Sun 20 May, 2012 Filed under: Cynicism, News, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »Last week, David Oakes was sentenced to life imprisonment. He’d taken a shotgun to his ex-partner and their two-year-old daughter, supposedly because he was ‘afraid’ of losing them. He then (allegedly) tried to kill himself with the same shotgun, and failed.
In today’s news, Oakes’ ex-wife has come forward, saying that Oakes had also been abusive towards her while they were married.
His ex-wife said the “total control freak” was regularly violent and on one occasion pulled a gun on her.
“He pushed me to the sofa, pulled a gun out of his pocket, put one bullet in the barrel and spun the barrel,” she said. He kept clicking it to my head, he held the gun straight to my head. It didn’t go off, so he went off and calmed down and came back later as if nothing had happened.”
Now maybe I’m missing something, but surely that’s attempted murder ?
I do understand that an abused partner doesn’t always go to the police – but it could be done anonymously via Crimestoppers etc. And if she had reported his instability to the police, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have been allowed to have a registered shotgun…
Funding the Daily Mail
Posted: Wed 4 April, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Charm School, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Media, Stupidity 1 Comment »In yesterday’s Daily Mail, a woman called Samantha Brick wittered on wrote an article about how life was so difficult for her ‘because she was so beautiful’. (That’s a link to the story, if you really must read it – but hang on before you do so)
Predictably, t’internet – and Twitter in particular – frothed up about it massively, and the story went viral. Which is exactly what the Daily Fail wanted.
According to their own follow-up story, that original article garnered 4,500 comments. And the ‘top-rated’ comment received 18,000 ‘green arrow’ upticks. (Think of a Green Arrow as being similar to a Facebook Like)
The Daily Fail lives by advertising. The Mail’s Online Ratecard shows that they charge a minimum of £20 per 1,000 advert impressions – and it can be a lot more.
The original story had (at the time of writing the follow-up) received 1.5million hits – that’s a minimum of £30,000 they’ve made on the one story. Of course, the original story/page is still live, and there’s also a follow-up piece from Brick herself. From the Fail…
And today she is sure to provoke another avalanche of strong reaction as she defends herself in a fresh article on MailOnline, insisting that: ‘While I’ve been shocked and hurt by the global condemnation, I have just this to say: my detractors have simply proved my point. Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.’
So to all the people who comment, or even just click through to read the story, I say this.
YOU are the people who fund the Daily Mail. Every single one of you. Now, don’t you feel proud?
Crackers for Easter
Posted: Mon 2 April, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, Festering Season, Sweary 1 Comment »Over the weekend, in Sainsbury’s, I spotted packs of Easter Crackers. Yeah, like Christmas Crackers, but for Easter.
What. The. Fuck?!?
(Looking on Google, it appears that this is becoming a common thing, somehow)
I didn’t get any photos this time – I’ll try to get some next time I’m there.
But really, what the hell is going on, if Easter Crackers are now a thing?
Smartphone, Stupid App
Posted: Wed 21 March, 2012 Filed under: Charm School, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, iPhone Leave a comment »Ah, RBS, I do so love the way you make life really complicated when it doesn’t need to be – and indeed shouldn’t be.
As I wrote before, I recently upgraded my phone to the iPhone 4S, which was a remarkably painless process. (I know, Apple stuff “just works”, but that’s not always been my experience, it’s safe to say – and there’s still a few niggles to sort out) All the Apps I’d purchased on the 3GS came over smoothly, all the contacts, blah blah, all worked fine – except for one.
Yep, the RBS “Mobile Banking” app wouldn’t work at all. Fair enough, security for banking, I can live with that. And there’s a button for requesting a new passkey. Clicky. Oh. It’s going to come in the post, and might take seven working days. Sheesh.
Seven working days on, nothing has appeared. So I call RBS Mobile Banking.
“Oh yes, we don’t send those any more.”
“…”
“Yes, what you need to do is text STOP (and yes, it has to be all in capitals) to 87727, then uninstall the existing app, reinstall it from the App Store, and go through the setup process.”
“You’re kidding, right? This is how RBS ‘make things easier’?”
“Yes, this is the quickest process for getting things done.”
Fuck sake. Anyway, it’s been done – but what a total bag of bollocks.
Celebrity Sharktank
Posted: Thu 8 March, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Creativity, Cynicism, MOTB, People, Television, Thoughts 2 Comments »Over on Twitter today, I was having a conversation with a couple of friends, and an idea came to. It would never be made – but we can dream…
The idea, as the title of this post suggests, would be Celebrity Sharktank. (Or Celebrities Swimming with Sharks – either way)
The premise – and this is the good bit – is to take ten ‘celebrities’, and let them go swimming with a whole swarm of sharks. Great Whites, Makos, Hammerheads, all the good ones. Throw in a bit of chum (bloody meat/fish, if you didn’t know) and you’ve got a TV programme to be proud of.
The ‘Winner’ of the programme would be the last one alive. Of course, if the recovery crew were really slow at getting to the ‘Winner’, would anyone care?
In my mind, the contestants for the first episode would be :
- The Kardashian sisters
- Jedward
- Simon Cowell
- the cast of TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) and
- the cast of Jersey Shore
The first episode would be called “Feeding Frenzy” in honour of there being rather more victims (sorry, contestants) than usual. I suspect Cowell would “Win”, but only because there’s a limit to the shit that even a shark can eat.
I suppose the only downside of this would be the potential for complaints about cruelty to animals…
Hidden Messages
Posted: Thu 1 March, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Depression, Domestic, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Recently I’ve noticed a similar ‘message’ in at least two songs on Radio 1‘s current playlist. I know, I’m way outside the target demographic for R1, and blah blah, but I just can’t bring myself to switch to either Radio 2, or some godawful commercial hunk of crap.
Anyway.
First is Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games”…
They say that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
Second is Nervo’s “We’re all no-one”
We’re all no one ’til someone thinks that we’re someone
‘Til then we’re no one
Notice the similarity?
In both cases, supposedly there’s nothing good in the world, unless we’re with someone else.
And that really pisses me off.
Marketing, Data, and Predictions
Posted: Fri 17 February, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, Cynicism, Marketing, People, Shopping 4 Comments »Over at Forbes.com, there’s a really interesting article about how companies can make predictions about your life and life-events, based purely on your buying habits.
In this case, the US store Target did analysis on its customers who signed up for their ‘pregnancy club’, and then data-mined their buying habits in the run-up to the birth. Of course, you need something to identify these people by – that’s what ‘loyalty’ cards are for. (Tesco’s Clubcard, Sainsbury’s’ Nectar etc. etc)
And of course it turns out that they could then send out marketing to those people – in one case, knowing a girl was pregnant before her own father did.
It’s always worth remembering, stores don’t give you loyalty cards and ‘rewards’ for nothing. They own all the data about you that the cards give – what you’re buying, why, when, where etc. – and they’re using that for their own profitability.
As David Mitchell said, (and I think I’ve posted it here before) :
When you’re getting something free, you’re not the customer, you’re the product.
Updated : A quick add – this was also something written about in the New York Times Magazine article ‘How Companies Learn Your Secrets‘