Worst Retailer
Posted: Wed 29 May, 2019 Filed under: Business, Domestic, News, Shopping, Thoughts Leave a comment »In the news today, a survey (admittedly, of only 8,000-ish people) lists WHSmith as the worst retailer, for the second year running.
Which doesn’t surprise me – to be honest, the only thing that ever surprises me about WHSmith is that they continue to keep trading. They’ve been in my retail dead pool for about a decade now, and they keep stumbling on.
Personally, I rarely (if ever) darken the doors of a WHSmith. They simply don’t do what I want to buy, there are plenty of places that are cheaper/better, and (to me) most of the stores look dull and dirty. I’m not saying they are dull and dirty, but they look it – again, to me.
The most recent example of this was a couple of weekends ago, I was in a place I’d not been before, and they had a big WHSmith store. But from the outside, the lighting inside was so dull that it looked as though the store wasn’t actually open. Just grim.
Anyway.
The thing that interested me in the story was this :
Every week we serve three million customers in our 600 UK High Street stores
That doesn’t seem like a very big figure, to be honest. So I worked it out.
3,000,000 divided between 600 stores is 5,000 customers per store. Per week. Which isn’t much.
And then you average it out over the seven days of the week – I’ll round it up to the nearest whole, as .25 of a person is ridiculous – and you get 715 people per store per day. Which really isn’t a lot. I can’t see how those numbers all the stores to break even, let alone make a profit.
I truly don’t understand how they stay in business
For Fuck’s Sake
Posted: Fri 15 September, 2017 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Festering Season, Marketing, Shopping, Sweary Leave a comment »
Last night, I went in to my local Tesco.
And was greeted with this.
No, Tesco. It’s September. So you, and your “Christmas is coming” bollocks can fuck right off.
More New Greenery
Posted: Sat 19 March, 2016 Filed under: Domestic, Getting Organised, Green, House Work, Shopping Leave a comment »Having sorted out some new pots and plants earlier this week, I’d been thinking about a couple of small trees to put in Big Pots, which should finish things off nicely.
Today, I got some – two ‘patio apple’ trees and pots for them to go in. They’ve been outside all the time anyway, so they’re now planted out and situated where I want them to be.
I’m done for now with plants, I think. I do want to find a more comfortable table and chair(s) next, although that can wait a while ’til I see what there is that I like. I’m not in a hurry – I’ve a chair that’s serviceable, but I do want to find something better. I just have to know it’s better before I buy it…
An Organised Christmas
Posted: Thu 24 December, 2015 Filed under: Domestic, Festering Season, Getting Organised, People, Shopping, Shopping Leave a comment »It’s well-known that I’m not the greatest fan of the Festering Season. I do observe it and sort things out for family and closest friends, but still tend to avoid the overboard hysteria of the entire season. There’s a whole number of reasons for being this way, and I can’t be arsed with going into them on this. It’s a subject that’s been pretty much done to death anyway.
This year,the run-up to the Festering Season has all been remarkably organised and gone very smoothly, which is a thing of joy.
Everything possible was done, bought, organised, and (where necessary) posted or delivered a couple of weeks ago. The only thing that remained – albeit in two stages – was food-based, getting the week’s food order in, and then today collecting the final pre-ordered bits, which was all done at Antisocial O’clock this morning, when the roads and shops were still blissfully empty.
I hate food shopping in the week before Christmas – the shops are just full of tosspots going mad because the shops are going to be closed for a whole 30 hours. I never understood why there always seem to be more people at Christmas, all of whom are buying more. Surely if it’s all about entertaining and having guests, there’d be half the number of people but buying twice as much? Only it doesn’t work out that way.
Internet-based shopping (and delivery thereof) has made this whole process as painless as possible. So long as you’re organised, you can book a slot in the week up to Christmas, order everything you know you want, and that’s it. Yes, there’s the slight roulette of out-of-stock items and so on, but that’s more about luck and timing than anything else. In my case, I got the delivery on Monday and everything I’d ordered was in stock and all was easy and fine. Indeed, the worst thing about it was that I had to lock the cats out of the living room while everything was delivered, which disturbed them quite a lot – I don’t think they’d actually realised the door could be closed, let alone be closed with them on The Other Side.
Collecting the final pre-ordered bits today was also painless – in and out, no hassles.
It really is a most civilised way to do things.
A Bag For Life
Posted: Wed 2 December, 2015 Filed under: Business, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, People, Shopping, Shopping, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »Over the weekend, while I was out shopping, the person in front of me’s “bag for life” split open.
What really surprised me though, was the attitude of the person on the till, and (by inference) that of the store.
You see, the ‘bag for life’ was from a different store – so the till person (quoting store/company rules) wouldn’t change it for one from that store.
“Oh, you can only change that at those shops, we won’t take them”
Which begs the question – why? If it were me in charge of doing that, then I’d be happy to take a competitor’s bag and give my customer a branded bag advertising my own store/company instead. But no, it seems that each supermarket/store brand will only exchange bags of their own brand, rather than taking those from other stores.
Seems bizarre to me.
A Very Good Deal
Posted: Sun 3 May, 2015 Filed under: 1BEM, Customer Services, Domestic, Finances, Getting Organised, Shopping, Weirdness Leave a comment »Over the weekend, my toaster finally died. (You can tell this one’s going to be interesting, can’t you?) It’s done fairly well, daily service for three years, if not more. Over Easter it had started playing up, but then on Saturday it gave up completely.
So – off to the retail superstore of gloom. (It’s closest, I couldn’t be arsed with faffing about too much, and I had some vouchers to use up)
I had a look, and decided on this one, mainly because it’s purple – I’m shallow like that – and because it was £10 off the marked price, so £40 instead of £50. Fair enough.
But when I got to the tills, it scanned at … hang on … £19? OK, I’ll check it with the customer services, but that’ll do.
As it was, I also had a number of vouchers (all in “You would’ve saved £x at a different store, so here’s the difference” price-match vouchers) that came to £25. So I effectively ended up with Tesco paying me £6 for my new toaster…
I don’t know quite how it all worked out like that, but I’m not going to complain.
[Additional] : When I went to customer services to check, in case a) the price was wrong or b) their system was wrong, I waited ages to be seen and then the person involved said “Oh, for electrical enquiries you’ve got to go back upstairs and ask them“. To which my thought response was “Fuck that, if you can’t be arsed to check it, I can’t be arsed to report it any further“.
So – a nice new toaster for the princely sum of minus six pounds. I can live with that.
Worryingly Organised
Posted: Wed 24 December, 2014 Filed under: Animals, Domestic, Festering Season, Getting Organised, Shopping 1 Comment »At the moment, along with being quite chilled and content with things (as written about previously) I’m also feeling quite organised – far more so than is common at this time of the year.
With the exception of one present that hasn’t arrived (despite being ordered on the 3rd) it’s all been pretty easy this year. Of course, it helps that I don’t buy stuff for loads of people and all that, but even so it’s all come together and been organised way in advance. By mid-month I didn’t need to buy any more presents – things had suddenly come together for the two more-awkward-to-buy-for people through odd confluences of coincidence, none of which I was complaining about at all.
I’ve managed to avoid all the festive retail bullshit – some of which was due to being organised, some due to the absolute joy of online shopping and letting the stuff come to me – although I did have to make one collection from a local food store. (Mind you, even that was organised to happen between 7 and 8am, enabling me to go in, collect, pay, and piss off without the hysteria of other people’s panic-purchasing) The rest of the supermarket food shop was done online and delivered painlessly – although working from home has helped on that score too, enabling me to be available when I’d usually be at work.
I’ve even got a number of things organised for next year – even down to having pre-booked the necessary parking requirements, as well as pet-sitter/feeder and the like.
It’s really quite worrying – things aren’t supposed to run this smoothly! But I’m going to appreciate it for the moment, and all well and good.
Furnishing
Posted: Wed 18 September, 2013 Filed under: Bankruptcy, Domestic, Finances, Getting Organised, Shopping Leave a comment »Over the weekend, I finally got round to buying myself a new bedframe. It’s been a long time without one – basically, the one I had from previous house was too big to get up the staircase in the new place. (And by new I mean ‘the one I moved into in May 2012’)
It’s been an absolute ball-ache to find a decent bed that’s short/low enough to get up the staircase, which is one of the most awkward I’ve ever lived with – narrow, enclosed, jutty-out bits in the ceiling, steep, and with a 180° bend that needs to be negotiated with larger items. In short, it’s a bastard. And shifting a mattress up there is an exercise in swearing and sheer physical labour.
Coupled to that, crappy finances meant that investing in a new bedframe was – well – not a priority. But with new job, and all that, I thought I’d get round to doing something about it at last.
Anyway, having done some research, Ikea now do a low bed, so on Friday I went to the nearest one, and ordered it for delivery. (A downside of now having Saab instead of Mondeo – a bedframe and/or mattress won’t easily fit into a saloon car!)
Come Sunday, it finally got delivered at about 5pm. No timescales or delivery warning, just blew a Sunday waiting for it to arrive. Bastards. But it’s all assembled (one bit being a pig, due to the necessary methods not being listed in the actual instructions – cheers for that, Ikea) so onwards and upwards in this great game of life.
Equipment Failure
Posted: Sun 2 June, 2013 Filed under: Bankruptcy, Change, Domestic, Finances, Geeky, Getting Old(er), Getting Organised, iPhone, Shopping, Technology, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »Don’t worry, this isn’t another post about the joys and pitfalls of getting older…
No, instead it’s about technology, and why the bastard stuff all ends up failing at the same time.
First of all, this post is being written on a new laptop – which I really could’ve done without having to get, but needs must when the devil drives (and/or you’re a web techie and wannabe-writer). The old Dell laptop – which it turns out I bought back in September 2009, so I shouldn’t whine so much, I guess – had been getting flakier over the last six months, but I’ve been eking out the life of it since then, suffering the occasional (and then more regular) hard-drive crash, and the ropy keyboard with some keys that only worked intermittently.
This week though it’s been crashing every time it was in use, and was obviously getting to the point where I needed to a) pull all the relevant data off it like NOW, and b) replace it with something else. And with a trip up to Manchester this week where I’m *really* going to need a reliable laptop, this was the weekend for it.
So I’ve bitten the bullet somewhat, and the new one is a (dirt-cheap) Asus thing, running the already-much-disliked Windows 8. To be fair to Windows 8, the old laptop was on the much-loathed Vista, which I never really found all that annoying. Eight annoys me more so far, but I’ll get used to it.
The other two equipment failures are both iPhone related, allbeit power-related rather than device-related. (Although I did think one of them might’ve been the phone being fucked, which was a real worry) First the Mophie battery case has failed. Again. (More accurately, the cable/charger for it, which will no longer charge) I love the Mophie cases, but they do seem to be somewhat crap, and only last about a year. And then the normal iPhone charge/sync cable also went kerfut and wouldn’t charge the phone. So I’ve had to get a new cable for that as well – considerably less expensive than the laptop purchase, but still, why all at the same time?
Oh yeah, and the fridge in the house also played up this week, with one day where it didn’t appear to be working all that well. Fortunately it’s now back up and running.
But why the hell would four things, two fairly major, all decide to kiff out within the same week? Weird things, I tell thee, weird things.
The Festering Season, 2012
Posted: Tue 18 December, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Festering Season, Introspective, Shopping, Thoughts 1 Comment »For whatever reason, 2012’s Festering Season hasn’t really had as much of an impact on me as usual.
Maybe I’m mellowing. Maybe I’ve just given up on it as an unwinnable fight. I don’t know.
I still get annoyed by the bullshit commerciality of the entire enterprise – things like
- seeing Christmas cards in the shops before Hallowe’en
- Hearing Christmas Carols in November
- Mince Pies with a ‘best before’ in November
- All the insane consumer-driven shopfests in December – particularly in supermarkets
But for whatever reason, I can’t really find it in me at the moment to rant about it. Maybe I’m feeling pretty chilled at the moment, maybe it’s just (as I said before) because it’s pretty much an unwinnable fight. Maybe I’m just a bit tired of being ranty.
Whatever the reason, it just hasn’t annoyed me as much as usual.
Waiting / Wasting Time
Posted: Wed 21 November, 2012 Filed under: Domestic, Shopping, Shopping, Thoughts, Weirdness 2 Comments »One of my regular activities (and of course everyone else’s regular activities) is the domestic shop – it’s not something I enjoy too much, but it’s got to be done. And at the same time I find it fascinating in some ways.
Mainly I love observing people, looking at their motivations, habits, and mindsets. I don’t always understand those mindsets and actions – as with the Reverse Parking thing I commented on a while back.
There’s going to be more of these posts, I think – it’s all making me think a lot about people, their psychology, the mindset for shopping and so on. It’s all just in my head a bit.
Anyway – back to the point of this one. Still in the supermarket carpark, I’m afraid.
So here’s the thing – why do people feel the need to park as close as humanly possible to the actual store? Even to the extent of driving round the nearest loop three or four times, rather than finding a space somewhere else? And particularly to the extent of sitting waiting for someone to load their shopping into the car, return the trolley, and then (eventually) drive off, leaving a queue of people behind, and generally screwing up the entire circuit ?
Me, I park further out, dump straight into a parking slot, and get on with the job. Last weekend I managed to do that, go in, shop, and come back out while at least one twat was still waiting for a parking spot on his circuit.
In short, I really don’t get the concept of ‘saving time’ by parking close to the store, if you have to circle repeatedly and wait for a spot.
Reverse Parking
Posted: Sat 23 June, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Driving, Parking, People, Shopping, Thoughts 2 Comments »When visiting the local supermarket – I’m not going to specify, because this set of thoughts are location-independent, having seen the same thing at at least six places – I’m always bemused by a certain parking style.
No, this isn’t YPLAC (You Park Like A Cunt) – for once – but it’s something just as bizarre. And I’m going to phrase it as a question
If they’re going to a supermarket, and doing their weekly/monthly big shop, why the FUCK do these people reverse into parking spaces ? I always see at least one per visit where they’re then faced with real issues when it comes to putting that shopping into the boot of the car.
I just don’t understand the logic – or maybe the lack thereof – that goes into this. I do get that some people don’t like reversing out of a space, although I’ve no idea why. Personally, I think reversing in to a space is far more prone to being visited by the Fuck-Up Fairy, but there we go. Still, personal choice, and all that shite.
But for loading shopping into a car, it seems like it just makes things so much harder when you’ve reversed into the space, rather than going in forwards, and leaving the boot of the car out in the open, so you can just lift’n’load.
People are, to be sure, weird.
Marketing, Data, and Predictions
Posted: Fri 17 February, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Business, Cynicism, Marketing, People, Shopping 4 Comments »Over at Forbes.com, there’s a really interesting article about how companies can make predictions about your life and life-events, based purely on your buying habits.
In this case, the US store Target did analysis on its customers who signed up for their ‘pregnancy club’, and then data-mined their buying habits in the run-up to the birth. Of course, you need something to identify these people by – that’s what ‘loyalty’ cards are for. (Tesco’s Clubcard, Sainsbury’s’ Nectar etc. etc)
And of course it turns out that they could then send out marketing to those people – in one case, knowing a girl was pregnant before her own father did.
It’s always worth remembering, stores don’t give you loyalty cards and ‘rewards’ for nothing. They own all the data about you that the cards give – what you’re buying, why, when, where etc. – and they’re using that for their own profitability.
As David Mitchell said, (and I think I’ve posted it here before) :
When you’re getting something free, you’re not the customer, you’re the product.
Updated : A quick add – this was also something written about in the New York Times Magazine article ‘How Companies Learn Your Secrets‘
Ho Effing Ho
Posted: Thu 16 December, 2010 Filed under: Art, Charm School, Festering Season, People, Shopping, Sweary 3 Comments »
Nice to see that someone else feels roughly the same way about the Festering Season as I do…
In this case,
a ‘disgruntled employee’ of Harrods disabled the correct lights until he could spell out his feelings to Harrods bosses and Christmas shoppers alike. He was removed by security guards after an hour-long stand-off, then handed over to police.
It could be is photoshopped, I don’t know. But it is excellent. (Updated : The story is originally from The Poke, a spoof news site. The original photo pre-photoshop is visible here.)
FO at Christmas
Which Deal ?
Posted: Fri 10 December, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Cynicism, Domestic, People, Shopping, Thoughts 7 Comments »Being a tad addicted (still) to that Tropicana Orange and Lime juice at the moment, I’m aware of which supermarkets have it on special offer at the moment. It’s odd, it always seems to be on some kind of “deal”.
Anyway, at the moment
- Supermarket One has it at 2 for £3
- Supermarket Two has it on 3 for £5.
I found it interesting, because Supermarket Two’s offer instinctively looks like a better deal. And I don’t know why.
Logically, Supermarket One is actually the better deal. But I had to think about it to be sure.
What do you think? Which one looks the better offer? (I know which one is the better one, obviously – I’m interested in perceptions rather than fact)
Refitting
Posted: Mon 31 May, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Shopping Leave a comment »Our local big Sainsbury’s is in the middle of a refurbishment and extension – it’s a huge job which looks to be doubling the floorspace of the place.
Although why they’ve had to take the ceiling tiles out throughout the store is something else, and really makes the place look ugly.
Ugly view throughout the Sainsburys store at Longwater Norwich
Pretty, isn’t it?