Posted: Sat 21 February, 2015 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Finances, Getting Organised, HMRC, People, Stupidity, Work-related |
As regular readers probably vaguely recall, HMRC have never been an organisation I’m a great fan of. I find it amazing that they can be quite as unhelpful, disorganised, obstructive and basically clown-like they really are.
Way back in the 2012-13 tax year – about the only year in my entire employment history where I worked fully PAYE for just one employer throughout the year – supposedly I underpaid my tax by just over £600. Yep, underpaid by £50 a month, all year – and somehow I am responsible for a fuckup that I have absolutely no influence or input on, so I have to repay that money. Even though the entire thing was between HMRC and my employer at the time, and I wouldn’t know one end of a tax calculation from the other.
It’s hardly going to ensure that either HMRC or the payroll department have to get things right, is it – if the only person penalised by those two sections fucking up is the person paying the tax, not the people who’ve actually screwed it up.
Anyway, the figures were disputed by me, and it’s been going on for two years now, with HMRC doing fuck-all. (Which seems to be what HMRC excels at)
I got a final demand for the money last month, with a deadline of this week. I’ve spoken to them in the meantime, but no, because of other figures and assumptions they’ve made, it was pay it all, or start having legal proceedings. Always fun. And despite repeated requests, HMRC still haven’t given me any of the figures that have brought them to the conclusion that I’ve underpaid. (Which also makes me think the entire thing is dodgy as shit, if they’re so unwilling to provide documentation)
Today I called them to make the payment, and spoke to someone vaguely competent. It still took an hour (and of course that’s at my expense, both in time, and cost of the call) but things are more promising now. Bear with me, this might take some time…
The person in question looked into the entire thing. Weirdly, despite having had the same employer all year, my record shows three – because the company in question went through restructures and fucking about. So they’ve screwed things up from that point. The screwup is still there, and still my fault – but at least I (sort of) understand where it’s come up. They’ve also promised to send me the calculations and explanations, although I’m not holding my breath on that score…
However. Ah, the however. It turns out that I also overpaid tax in tax year 2013-14 – something that HMRC have completely failed to tell me at all. It’s been a year, but nope, no information about overpaid tax, or anything. If only they were as good at telling you you’re due a refund as they are when you’ve under-paid.
Additionally, somewhere along the line – and bear in mind that HMRC now receive “RealTime Information” with every payroll run about my details, employer details, salary, and tax paid – HMRC have decided that my expected income for this tax year (2014-15) to be in the region of £150,000. No-one can tell me where that figure has come from, or how it’s fallen into their system – because of course it’s updated every fucking week with the correct and up-to-date information – but there we go, a calculation that I’ll receive a salary nearly three times what’s expected.
All of which means that I now have only about £200 to repay (still not my fault, but sometimes the fight just isn’t worth it any more) because the overpayment from 2013/14 has balanced most of what was ‘underpaid’ in 2012/13. So that should be all sorted now. I can pay that £200, and we’ll all be good.
Except – yep, another however/except…
Here we are, in February 2015. Online payments have been around for a good decade. Payments by phone for a lot longer than that – probably what, 25 years now?
And HMRC don’t have any system for paying unpaid/outstanding PAYE payments online. Or by phone. Or by debit/credit card at all. The ONLY ways that HMRC can take a payment for unpaid PAYE are – are you ready for this? – by cheque, postal orders, or banker’s draft. (Or by taking it out of the tax payments for the forthcoming tax-year – which I didn’t want to do, for a number of reasons) They can take payments online for other things, but not unpaid PAYE. No-one can explain why – the best I got was “We’re looking into it, but the system isn’t ready yet”. But with unpaid PAYE, we’re back int the 1970s.
My bank hasn’t issued cheque-books now for at least five years. The person I spoke to didn’t even realise you had to pay extra for postal orders or bankers drafts – so there’s no chance whatsoever that I can discount the costs from what I owe. Yup, yet again I’d be liable for the costs – and also if (as has happened to me before) HMRC ‘mislaid’ a payment.
So even though it’s the only option I didn’t want – and that’ll get complicated for other reasons – I’m going to end up paying that £200 over the tax year, rather than knowing I can start from scratch again.
In short, HMRC are useless cunts. But I suppose that won’t change any time soon. Still, come the revolution…
Posted: Thu 5 February, 2015 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: 1BEM, Animals, Domestic, People, Sweary, Thoughts |
I’ve come to the conclusion that in some circumstances, I bloody hate dogs. Well, more the dog owners, rather than the dogs themselves. Let me explain…
Every time I walk around the village in daylight (which I do a fair amount, due to an increased rate of exercise etc.) there are areas that are just covered in dog shit. Particularly in the area where it’s footpath across fields, any time you step off the pavement (for a cyclist, or other people) you’re at risk of stepping in shit. It’s even riskier in the evenings, because you’ve no chance of seeing the fucking stuff.
There are shit bins at either end of this particular footpath, but no, these people just allow their dogs to shit and leave it. They also let it happen in the alleyways between houses – as a houseowner there, I’d be debating CCTV and/or violence. I wonder how they’d feel if I went and took a dump on their doorstep one day?
As a prospective dog owner (or indeed an actual dog owner) you must surely understand that picking up dog shit is part of the deal. I always understood that, and would pick it up wherever possible – obviously if they’ve run across miles/fields and there’s no-one ever going to go in that direction, you’re less likely to pick it up – but if it was ever near/on somewhere people would regularly walk, I picked up after Hound.
The facilities are there. Fucking use them. People piss me off.
Posted: Thu 29 January, 2015 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: BMW Drivers, Commuting, Domestic, Driving, M1, People, Thoughts, Weirdness |
At the moment, I’m doing regular drives on the Northbound M1, which is currently subject to no less than 15 miles (Fifteen Miles! For fuck’s sake!) of roadworks in one stretch replacing the central barrier, and another stretch installing ‘smart motorways’, in a similar way to how the Southbound M1 was screwed over a couple of years back.
Through both of these stretches, we’ve got the 50mph speed limit and ‘average speed cameras’, which seem to also contain some kind of mind-control that turns the majority of drivers into zombies who can’t see an empty lane, but can see a speed camera and slow down for it. (The phrase ‘average speed’ is utterly beyond them, of course)
It amazes me how bad the driving standards are in these roadworks zones – it’s as though people stick to the lane they were in when they entered the roadworks, and aren’t able to move from it. They don’t move in (or even pull out to overtake) despite any available space, or someone else driving even slower ahead.
I don’t know what can be done to change it – it’s just a human nature thing, I guess – but dear God, it’s bloody annoying to be surrounded by that many dickwhistles.
Posted: Sat 27 December, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Domestic, Introspective, People, Single Life, Thoughts |
While working from home over the last couple of months – and particularly with relation to the Festering Season – I’ve noticed a lot of media stuff about statistics and reports showing that more people feel ‘lonely’ now, and don’t know how to deal with it. (Aside from the obvious answer of “Get out more”)
Anyway, it all made me think about how I am with all this being-single stuff, along with being too self-reliant for my own good.
Since leaving school, I’ve been single for more years than I’ve been in ‘proper’ relationships – eleven years of relationships vs. nearly fifteen of singledom. (Which also means that score was actually on level-pegging when my last one finished, but I digress) However, I’ve never truly felt lonely while I’ve been single. I have when in a relationship – in more than one, and on more than one occasion – but never when I’m single.
I suspect it’s not necessarily a good thing to be far more comfortable with “Alone” – it leaves me with little desire to look for anyone new (although that’s another part of my thought processes at present, and another piece of writing to come) and so on. I’m alone, but content with that.
As has been obvious, I do get out plenty, and socialise with friends a fair amount – and I’ll be doing more of both in the new year, as written about previously – but the fact remains, I’m comfortable with my own time and space. I’m not averse to changing and sharing that time/space with the right person, but I honestly don’t see it happening any time soon.
And that’s equally fine with me.
Posted: Tue 23 December, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Festering Season, News, People |
Among the things that have amused me today, the image on this BBC story about German Christmas Markets made me chuckle.
After all, how many times do you get to see the word “Knacker” on the BBC? And particularly in connection to the whole Festering Season…
Knackers to German Christmas Markets
It probably says a lot about my mindset that it was the word ‘Knacker’ that I noticed first out of the entire thing…
Posted: Sun 21 December, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: 2015/16, Change, Cynicism, Domestic, Festering Season, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Food, Introspective, New Year, People, Personality, Single Life, Sociable |
As I’ve said many times before, I’m pretty comfortable with being single, with living my own life, and not really needing any company for a lot of things. I’m happy going to concerts on my own, and to the cinema – indeed, doing most things like that. It suits me and the way I am.
However, there’s one thing I don’t like doing on my own – and get your minds out of the gutter, please! – which is going out for meals. I don’t know why it affects me more than other things – there’s not really any logical reason for it – but it does.
So, in 2015 I’m going to be addressing it a bit, and forcing myself to do it. There are places (both local and further away) that I really want to go to, and so this coming year that’s what I’m going to do. There’ll be a list of places I want to visit – which I may put on here, or may not – and we’ll see how I do.
And I’m starting the way I mean to go on. Earlier this month on Twitter I saw a New Years’ Eve menu that I *really* fancied at a place in Cambridge, and I’ve been wavering on it. But having decided to get my arse in gear with this, I got in touch and booked myself in – and I’m really looking forward to it.
It’s also the first time in *cough* years that I’ll have been out on New Years’ Eve – although it’s quite likely I’ll bugger off before midnight, because I’m still an antisocial bastard who doesn’t like people all that much…
Posted: Sat 20 December, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Animals, Charm School, Domestic, People |
This week I needed to sort out one of the regular bulk purchases of cat litter and cat food sachets, so it was time for a trip to the local Pets at Home. (I’m sure there’s places that’re slightly cheaper, but Pets at Home is fine for my purposes)
Once I’d got the necessary items – plus a new scratching post – I stopped to have a look at the rabbits and hamsters – no particular reason, just had a look before getting to the till.
One of the store assistants came up, and asked “Are you looking for anything special”. And oh dear, my mouth went into action before my brain.
“No, not really. I’m just seeing if anything appeals as a Christmas Meal treat for my cats”
The look of utter disgust on her face should leave me ashamed, but actually it was just funny as chuff.