You Had One Job…
Posted: Sun 23 February, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, Cynicism, Pedantry, Stupidity Leave a comment »While out and about this weekend, I spotted this sign, and simply had to stop and take a picture of it…
Romans Estate Agents, you had one job, and this is what you get…
(Amusingly, their website also claims “a thorough approach to every aspect of our business”)
Fitbit Flex – Sleepy Time
Posted: Thu 20 February, 2014 Filed under: Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Health, Insomnia, Project 42, Reviews(ish), Sleep - or lack thereof, Technology Leave a comment »Carrying on from yesterday’s post, I’m writing a bit about how I’m doing with the Fitbit Flex, a wristband pedometer and sleep monitor. Today it’s more about the sleep monitoring that the Flex does.
As with the pedometer side, the sleep monitoring can be a useful tool, but it’s not something to rely on absolutely.
The sleep monitoring is activated manually (which is usually OK, but could be a pain in the ass on occasion) and also needs to be manually deactivated – which is more of a pig, because if you forget, it screws the figures. It would be nice to have some automatic deactivation in there, although I suspect that the variables for it are pretty wobbly.
Based – I assume – on movement during the night, the Flex can report on “Sleep”, “Disturbed Sleep” and “Awake”. “Sleep” is – again, I assume – when the sleeper is motionless, as REM sleep paralyses the body. (which is why most people don’t sleepwalk, or do anything else physical that they’re dreaming about) “Disturbed Sleep” is when the sleeper is moving about. I’ve no idea how it discerns “Awake” though – it pegs my awake-in-bed time as ‘disturbed sleep’- so I assume that “Awake” means “Registered as sleeping, but actually walking around”. As such, the categories are a bit rough, but at least provide an illustration of sleep quality – or lack thereof.
One thing I do find affects me though is actually looking at the results. (Which is a bit meta and ‘chaos theory’, but bear with me) It’s one thing to feel like you’ve had a bad night, but it’s another one entirely to know it with the readings from the Flex. And yes, I could ‘leave it’ til later, but damn it, I’m interested. However, it does make me feel more tired, more justified in being tired, with that knowledge of “Oh yeah, but I had a crap night”. Seeing the information makes me aware of that crap night, and does affect how I feel during the day. (Similar to how reading a horoscope first thing can sometimes subconsciously direct you towards doing the things ‘predicted’)
It is interesting though. It’s proven that I usually actually get by on 3.5-4 hours sleep per night most of the time, and that it’s really only when I’m on sub-three-hours that I feel shockingly bad. I have good nights (rare), bad nights (common) and very bad nights (thankfully not quite as common as I’d thought)
I’ll keep on using the Flex for this – as I’ve said, it’s a useful indicator, if nothing else. Whether I continue to be aware of the timings or not, bearing in mind how much that knowledge affects me, remains to be seen.
Fitbit Flex – Taking Steps
Posted: Wed 19 February, 2014 Filed under: Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Health, Project 42, Reviews(ish), Technology, Weigh Less, Weight Loss Leave a comment »It’s now been a couple of months since I got the Fitbit Flex, and it’s been pretty interesting. I didn’t buy it to boost my fitness, or any of that other rot – I just wanted to see how much I do walk on any given day, keep track of it, and also to look at how I sleep. (which I’ve written about before)
The sleep monitoring is quite useful – although I do wonder about how it affects me subliminally. (of which more later in the week)
For the walking / pedometer, it shows I’m currently walking about 3 miles a day. Not brilliant – but equally, not at all bad. I started this year with the intention of getting out and walking more, and getting into a routine of doing so. (This actually started back in November-ish, but has been more fixed since January) I try to make sure I walk around the village (a decent mile loop) most days – although I still sometimes fail to do so when the weather is truly vile – as well as walking more when I go to the local cinema etc.
The Flex helps me keep track of that, and it’s been useful. There is a certain satisfaction when it buzzes away on my wrist, letting me know that the daily target (currently set at 5,000 steps a day, approx 2.5 miles) has been achieved. And weirdly it does get into your head – I find myself thinking “Oh, well if I park there, it’s a longer distance to get to the shop/cinema/whatever, I’ll be closer to that target” and similar.
If nothing else, it’s a useful tool for just keeping track of exercise through the days and weeks – but also as a minor kick-up-the-arse for actually getting out and walking more.
It’s a Pie
Posted: Tue 18 February, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Cinema, Cynicism, Marketing, Media, Pedantry, Writing Leave a comment »Another in the occasional series of “adverts that annoy me” – this one is one of the ones from Santander (which I still think are creepy, as I have said before)
Why does it annoy me? Again, because of one line.
At the start, we can see that the guy is making a pie, and putting a pastry lattice over the top. Yet the woman says
“I really like what you’re doing with that cake”
It’s a fucking pie, you idiot.
Reasons to Kill
Posted: Mon 17 February, 2014 Filed under: Domestic, Noise, People 4 Comments »In some ways, I’m pretty sure I’m actually getting less tolerant of things over the years. I know that’s a bit of a challenge in comparison to how I used to be when I was living in Manchester (and ranting about train journeys every damn weekend) but I’m noticing it more and more.
In particular, when I’m at home, there are a couple of things that mean it’s probably a good thing I don’t have access to a baseball bat.
The first one is done by a few people, but drives me bananas. People pull up in their cars outside my house (which is on a main road through the village, but has parking spaces right outside) and sit there with the engines running. I don’t quite know why it drives me as barmy as it does, although I do know it’s the noise of the engine that does it. Yesterday it was a British Gas van that sat outside for a good hour, engine running, and audibly trying to use his hands-free phone. (You know it’s too fucking loud when you can hear that from not just outside the car, but inside the house!) If I’d had a baseball bat, I’d have gone outside and tapped on his bloody windscreen with it. Dickhead.
The other one is more specialised, although still related. When I’m at home in the mornings (not an altogether common occurrence, but all the same) it gets busy with the school run – the local school isn’t far away, and the car-park opposite my house is the nearest place for all the parents. Every day, every damn day, one particular parent pulls up in their 4×4 that’s never been off-road in its life. They take their spawn out to go to school, turn on the alarm on the car, and fuck off.
And every damn day, the alarm goes off, and keeps going off. There’s obviously something wrong with it, and the owner doesn’t give a shit.
Again, at some point I’m going to walk over and give it something to actually fucking beep about.
Bad Writing
Posted: Sun 16 February, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Bad Ads, Cinema, Films, Pedantry, Writing Leave a comment »Recently my visits to the local cinema have included the trailer below, for a new film called “Winter’s Tale”
Within that trailer is the line
I’ve had no memory for as long as I can remember
which just drives me crackers. Seriously, people get paid for writing piss like that?
I mean, if you’ve no memory then of course it’s for as long as you can remember. Because you’ve got no fucking memory, you insufferable ballbag!
And breathe…