Christmas Cheer
Posted: Sat 20 December, 2014 Filed under: Creativity, Cynicism, Festering Season, Media, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »
As always in the run-up to the Festering Season, the BBC is currently promoting the Eastenders Christmas Day special.
I don’t watch soaps, haven’t in years, and I really don’t get the appeal of them in general. But even in that sector, I truly don’t understand why so many people keep on watching Eastenders. It’s such an unremittingly depressing programme, one where nothing has a truly positive outcome. Even happy occasions – births, marriages etc. – have to have a downside, a negative touch. (Who’s the father? Who’s had an affair? What other explosion of emotion will happen?)
Christmas is, as always, the worst of all. There’s apparently going to be someone effectively going through the throes of a breakdown, so on Christmas Day there’ll be millions of people watching this whole thing of someone’s life collapsing around them.
Maybe it’s about making people feel better about their own lives – that no matter how bad they get, the people on Eastenders are suffering worse. I don’t know. But it’s a mindset that I simply can’t get my head around.
Bellwether
Posted: Wed 17 December, 2014 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, M1, M25, People, Thoughts 2 Comments »In a conversation the other day about driving – and motorway driving in particular – I was told I was too callous and calculating. I’m not sure this is true, but I’m interested…
So. When I’m driving motorways, and even more so at night, I usually let someone else go in front who’s driving faster than I am, and let them be the testing point for whether there are any active speed cameras or unmarked police cars around.
My theory is that if [Other Driver] blats past a camera and it flashes (or a car that then turns out to have concealed flashing lights on/in it) then that’s their problem rather than mine. And it gives me time to slow down before getting to the camera myself.
I was told that’s callous and calculating. I think it makes sense.
Surely I’m not the only driver that does this?
Spam Tendencies
Posted: Mon 15 December, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Geeky, People Leave a comment »One of my geekier interests (and there’s a long list, I know) is that I find it interesting what sort of subjects are used by spammers in their efforts to get people to click on their ropy emails/links.
I’ve got one email account that gets spammed rotten, and I look through it on occasion when I’ve nothing better to do.
In this case, I had a look on Saturday evening, while my brain was somewhat comatose, and found that the following seem to be currently popular…
- “You’ve been accepted onto this year’s ‘Who’s Who’ listings – click here to verify your details’ (appealing to the vanity of the vacuous who’ve done fuck-all)
- Working from home (no surprise there)
- ‘Super-low’ mortgage rates (again, no real surprise)
- And some weird shit about ‘this 57 year-old man cured Diabetes/Alzheimers/Cancer’ which I don’t quite get.
Of course there’s plenty of others, but I’d guesstimate that those four account for about 60% of the shit I receive on any given day…
Peter Gabriel – Wembley SSE Arena – The Downside
Posted: Fri 5 December, 2014 Filed under: Cynicism, Gigs, London, People, Reviews(ish), Sweary Leave a comment »While I loved the Peter Gabriel gig on Wednesday, it has to be said that the audience consisted of some of the biggest vagtrumpets known to Man.
I really don’t understand people – as has been said many times before – but I truly don’t get why on earth you would pay £50 or more per ticket and then spend the entire concert walking to and from the bar, or chatting to your friends instead of, you know, listening to the music and enjoying the concert.
It’s even worse when – as with the concert last night – it’s an all-seated gig, so these jizzmopping fuckflannels keep on disturbing the entire row in order to go and get drinks, come back with drinks, go to the bog, and whatever else they’re doing. It makes me want to punch them in the kidneys as they go past, just so they’ll stay in one place for a while.
Maybe I’m getting old, but I just can’t see the enjoyment in going to a gig and not really listening to the music at all.
(The one that really pissed me off though was the so-called fan, when they played one of the key tracks from that ‘So’ album said that he ‘had never heard that one before’, for fuck’s sake)
Christmas Parks
Posted: Mon 24 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, Customer Services, Cynicism, Festering Season, Marketing, People, Stupidity, Sweary Leave a comment »I don’t know when/why it started, but it now seems that part of the media’s Christmas tradition is to have a report/story about a “Christmas Park” that opens in November and closes down after one day because of its general shitness, and the resultant litany of customer complaints.
This year, the ‘honour’ has apparently gone to ‘The Magical Journey‘, which was designed/proposed by arch-tossrag Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen
But really, what does anyone expect? These arseholic fucktrumpets are paying up to £20 a head to go and ‘see Santa’ – in November, in unseasonably warm/mild weather – and then get upset that it’s muddy, that they’ve got to queue for ages to see sodding Santa, and that really it’s all – gasp! – a bit shit.
Rather than talking to Trading Standards, I’d suggest probably getting mental health professionals involved, and getting every single one of those paying customers to take a good long hard look at themselves. For fuck’s sake.