Servicing

I forgot to say earlier, but today my car is in the garage.

It’s recently gone over the 60,000 miles – which means I’ve done just under 4,000 in the poxy thing already – so it was time for what Ford term “a major service”. I’ve no idea what that entails, but it’s about £225 to do.

As it is, I’m faintly optimistic that that’s all I’ll have to pay – I haven’t had any calls saying “Oooh, we found that the kajoogly sprocket is nearly frubscotched, that’s gonna cost you £xxx” (or words to that effect, anyway).

Still, I’ll know more when I get there at about 5:15…


Planning

On Friday, the first stage of our planning application for the extensions to the new place passed through. So far as we know, no-one has complained or lodged an objection to our plans – the notice went up outside our place three weeks ago, and the deadline for objections was Friday.

According to the relevant website information (It’s great, being able to track the application online, and know what’s coming up) we should get the final approval through around July 9th. It’s not the fastest of processes, but that’s the “joy” of dealing with local authorities.

In fairness, it’s also quite a lot faster than I’d been led to expect. In the previous place, our neighbour told us he’d made the initial application for planning permission back in January, and the council hadn’t even processed it ’til the start of April. In fact, his notice about plans, and the request for objections went up only a couple of weeks before ours.

So far, we’ve been lucky (or organised, I’m not sure which) in that we’ve had an architect draw up the plans, and do the planning submission for us. It means he’s known what we want, and how to get it through planning permission. And if it goes through without a hitch, well then, I will consider his fees (when he eventually sends us a bill) will be well worth it.


@Media Day One – thoughts

For the Thursday, these are the presentations I saw…

*Clicky* on the ‘more’ link to see what I thought…
Read the rest of this entry »


@Media Aftermath

Yeah yeah, I know, I haven’t written out my thoughts on the two days of @Media yet.

And I won’t get round to it today either, as I’m currently swamped in the backlog from those two days away from the office.

Still, that’ll all be out of the way by the end of today, so then I can perhaps get on with current stuff instead.


@Media – First thoughts

So, @Media 2007. Was it any good?

The short answer? Yes, absolutely. Was it worth the (roughly) £700 for it ?(including the price of the conference, hotel for two nights, and train ticket etc.) Again, to me, a resounding yes. Mind you, I just wish that- when you consider the amount of money spent per person– for the conference, the food wasn’t such generic slop, despite being a different supplier to last year. Then again, I said that last year too…

That’s the basic summary – I’ll be writing more over the next couple of days about the presentations I saw, and some thoughts about them. Call me Mr Comprehensive…


Ulterior Motives

I truly don’t care one jot about Big Brother at the best of times. So far I think I’ve seen maybe 30 seconds of the new series, while flicking through channels.

I truly disliked the entire hysteria and unpleasantness around the racism claims from the last season of Celebrity Big Brother, although to some degree I also find the current paranoia about any further racism claims to be very funny, especially when one considers that the initial plan for Big Brother was to show people “as they truly are”.

However, in this week’s micro-fight about racism, I find it truly objectionable that the story has given all the media the supposed ‘right’ to print an offensive slur, and all the while dress it up as “news”.

Hypocrisy at its finest.


Smart vs. Stupid

I know, it’s so “do these in your first year of blogging” , but well, Skytower did it, so I thought “sod it”…

How smart are you?

And then I fucked up putting the image in on his place. Not once, but twice.

*sigh*


Disappearing Client

A while back now, I took on some work to redesign the ‘new season’ area for an online clothes boutique. It was all very “we need it now”, but at the same time utterly disorganised, and with some truly horrific stuff going on behind the scenes, which made it remarkably difficult to “just slot in” the new season’s items, even without the necessary redesign too.

About five or six weeks later, having worked fairly hard on it – although not having done the (to me) necessary additional work of putting the entire thing into a database-driven system- and having got everything in place (design, new products, blah blah) I contacted the client, and said I was ready to go.

“Oh,” he said “You were taking so long, I ended up getting the design done by someone else. Now they need to ‘just slot in’ the new products.” Fair enough, I thought – I’ve done some work on it, but it’s not the end of the world, so I actually didn’t charge for the work I’d done. Equally, I didn’t send the stuff I’d done through to the end client. It’s ended up relinquishing on my hard drive, and nowhere else.

That was two months ago.

Amusingly (to me, anyway) that client’s new ’boutique’ is still not there. In fact, it now doesn’t even have the holding page, it’s just a “403: Forbidden”. He hasn’t been in touch with me, and that’s his decision.

From my side, OK, I could’ve charged for the work I’ve done. But at the same time, I don’t feel like I’ve lost anything either. If I’d shown them a demo, and they’d plundered it for their own needs, I’d be pissed off, and would’ve charged them. But when all’s said and done, I’ve lost nothing except maybe some work time, when I wasn’t doing much else anyway.

The client, though, has now lost four months of sales, and the stock they bought in will shortly be ‘last season’. Because he was in such a huge hurry that a month took too long, he’s lost far more than he would’ve spent on what I did.

Funny how things work out, isn’t it?


On the way home…

So, that’s @Media done with (for me) for another year, and I’m off back to deepest darkest Norfolk.

More thoughts will follow…


Internet Access

Over the last few weeks, my internet access has been – how shall we say? – “interesting”.

Not only did I end up on dial-up for a week after moving house (along with epic levels of sweary words), but while I’ve been in London the access has been decidedly patchy too.

@Media made the – very smart, in my opinion – decision to not have wifi access in the rooms. It sounds weird to not have internet access at a web conference, but it’s brought about an impressive reduction in the number of people surfing, answering emails, and generally eFuckingAbout while presentations are going on. And that’s a good thing – it’s meant that more attention has been focussed on-stage, and there’s also less distraction in the audience – it’s hard to concentrate on what someone onstage is saying when the person in front/behind/next to you is belting away on a manky clicky keyboard.

But the hotel I’ve been using is supposed to have wi-fi – it’s extra, and supplied by Spectrum Internet. And for the last two days it’s been about as stable as Charles Manson on LSD.

So all told the internet access has been pretty ropy while I’ve been here. No bad thing in some ways, but it does mean I’ve not been able to get a fair amount of web-based work done. Ah well, that’s what weekends are for, apparently.


@Media Day Two

So, another day, another bundle of seminar conference thingies…

Today it’s going to be (most probably) :

And then a train-ride home.

With luck, it’s going to be another productive day.


Design vs Tech

Today at @Media has been really good. As with last year, I’ve ended up avoiding the really heavily techie presentations, and instead ended up at the more design-oriented ones, which are the ones that’re currently of far more interest to me. And up ’til lunchtime, I actually didn’t know why.

But I figured it out. The techie stuff I can do with my eyes closed (well, not literally, because it makes for really ropey code) but I’ve always known that the design side is my weak point. So things like @Media give me the chance to get it right, to learn more about the bits I’m weak on.

I’ll never be a designer. But at the same time, the more I can learn about design, layout, and typography, the better my work will be.

Besides, it makes life a lot more interesting.


No wireless

Today and tomorrow, I’m going to be at the @Media conference in London. Bizarrely, this means I’ll actually be online less than usual. Why?

There will be no wi-fi during the conference, for various reasons. For those who really can’t live without it, they will find that the entirety of Upper Street, the mile-long road on which the conference venue is located, sits under a free-to-use wi-fi cloud. The interwebs can be accessed on the steps of the venue and in numerous cafes, bars, and restaurants nearby.

(From an @Media email earlier this week)

Most bizarre. Still, it’ll probably make for more people paying attention to the presentations etc., which wasn’t necessarily the case last year.


Chaotic

I’m away from home for two nights (tonight and tomorrow) before coming home late on Friday. I packed my bag a couple of days ago, but had some last-minute things to add in to it.

And I managed to forget them all. They were all prepared and ready to go in, but just somehow didn’t make it in the end.

So far, I’ve forgotten:

  • Power cord for the laptop
  • Modem cord for the laptop
  • USB Stick that had the work I needed to do on it

The worrying thing is that I’m sure there’s at least one more thing I don’t have. It’s just that I can’t remember what that item is…


Ouchy

A couple of weeks back, because of moving and so on, I shoved a safety razor in a pocket in my bag, so that if/when I got too stubbly, I could have a quick shave when I got in to work, and look at least vaguely human.

I then forgot about it.

Last night, on the train, I was looking for my headphones and shoved my hand into the pocket on my bag. Suddenly, I remembered the safety razor in there. But only after I’d managed to shave a layer off the pad of my little finger, which is now suspiciously flat.

It bled like a bastard, unsurprisingly, but is all OK, except for being extremely painful on occasion. It’s got a poxy big plaster over it, so it’s safe, but does get knocked all the time. And just before going to @Media tomorrow, as well. Typical.

My name’s Lyle, and I can be a right twonk sometimes.


2012 Logo – Again

OK, I think this’ll be the last post on this subject. Probably.

Anyway, if you’re geeky and know about the goatse site, check out this Youtube video of the report on BBC London about the logo. Do not have any drinks near you at the time – let alone be drinking them.

And finally, I have to say that the logo below (designed by James Wren) is by far my favourite from the selection shown on the BBC’s site

Decent 2012 logo

Talking Point

Looking at that fucking horrific logo again today, I’m reminded of a quote from “Only Forward” by Michael Marshall Smith, which went something like this:

It had been designed as a conversation point.
I think that the conversation it was designed to bring about was something like
“What the fuck is that?
“I dunno. Let’s burn it”
“Good plan”

Although the description “It looks like Lisa Simpson giving a blowjob” is brilliant, and made me laugh out loud.

And at the end of the day, it’s a far better description than the official “It symbolises the Olympic spirit and the ability of the Games to inspire people to take part – not just as spectators, but as volunteers, in the Cultural Olympiad and more.” load of bollocks.


2012 Logo

OK, now just what the fuck is the new logo for the London 2012 Olympics supposed to be representing?

logo for London 2012 Olympics

The old logo with the outline of the Thames running through it at least made sense.

This one looks more like a four-year-old has been playing with pink post-it® notes and scissors…

EDIT : Ok, having looked at the logo a bit more, I can now discern the ‘2012’ in the pink bits of the logo. So it makes a bit more sense now. Still looks like shite to me though. Then again, I’m neither a designer nor a marketer.


Stupid?

When I first read this story about drivers not recognising various road signs I figured that it was hardly news to know that two-thirds of the drivers surveyed couldn’t identify the ‘no through road’ sign, or that a third didn’t recognise the ‘no motor vehicles’ one.

But when it got to the second section, about the signs that (supposedly) people did want, I just despaired.

I’m sorry, but how is a sign saying ‘Wifi Zone’ going to help things? Or one saying ‘Drive-Through Approaching’? (although I bet Mac-fucking-donalds would sponsor those) The final quote just made me laugh, though:

“We’ve all been on wild goose chases looking for cash machines. A new road sign could save endless hours searching the streets.”

No, I’ve never been on a wild goose chase looking for a cash machine. If all else fails, go to the nearest supermarket. Simple.

Grrr.


Managing Work Demands

Over the next few weeks, I’ve got one hell of a lot of work to complete, and that’s starting today.

However, with Herself being at work today, there’s also been the problem of dealing with Hound, who sees it more that I’m at home, and thus should be throwing a ball in the garden for her.

On a side point, I’m seriously considering buying one of those tennis-ball serving machines, so I can load it with 50 balls in the garden, and leave it to keep Buggerlugs amused. Very tempting.

So today has started off with taking her out for a long walk, and then also nipping out in the car for a drive, taking her with me, so she kept on seeing new stuff and so on – I’ve found it’s a plan that works.

And now she’s laid here in the living room. Fast asleep. So I’d best get on with doing some work…


Pirates of the Caribbean 3

Hmm, it seems like this is the year of the trilogy. (Well, the year for ‘part 3’s , anyway)

Spiderman 3 is, as I’ve already said, utter abysmal crap. I had higher hopes for Pirates 3 – no idea why, really, but well, I did.

And in that context, I can’t deny, I was disappointed. Whereas the first one (and, to some degree, the second) were fun movies, where you could see that the actors involved had a good time, and where the sheer silliness took over, they still had a decent (if ridiculous) storyline. The third one had the storyline, but it didn’t have the feeling of fun and silliness. More speeches, more drama, more ‘serious’ acting and actors (pronounced actors) – but missing those vital elements of silliness and fun.

In its own right, as a pirate film, it’s still fine, and could probably stand on its own quite happily. (Better than Cutthroat Island ever did, anyway) But in comparison with the first two, it’s just nowhere near as good.

The effects are still stunning, as are a lot of the designs (I still love the design and the intricacy of the Flying Dutchman and crew) – but then, I’m an effects geek at the best of times. But it still doesn’t matter how much money and ingenuity you throw into effects if the film is still basically weak.

Although, as I’ve said, it’s not weak as a stand-alone movie, it is in comparison with 1 and 2. I can watch Pirates 1 repeatedly, purely because of it’s silliness – and the effects add an extra dimension to that as well – but this one I’d happily never see again.

So all in all, yeah, just a bit of a disappointment. And seriously bloody long. Three hours really is pushing it – and even more when the cinema does an intermission as well.


Busy

So yes, I get broadband back, and can I think of anything to post? Can I chuff.

So it may be quiet here today. What with work, other work, emails, finances, (invoices and the like) and then sloping off to see Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 tonight, well, updates may be sparse.

On the other hand, they may not.

Who knows?


Online

Yay, I’m back in the land of the living – well, broadband-wise, anyway.

Yes, it’s been connected – and I didn’t even notice, has just assumed it wasn’t going to be ready yet. Herself said about it, that the ADSL modem had been flashing away today, so I had a look and yay, it’s back.

And OK, I can’t deny, I’m just a little bit impressed, although it’s more about getting my expectations managed expect it to take a week, and it actually takes four or five days. But all the same, well, I’m back online. So I don’t care. :¬)

My name’s Lyle, I’m a techie, and I’m used to broadband.
I have no pride…


56k (Again)

In some ways it’s actually kind of interesting to be back on 56k dial-up for a few days.

I’d forgotten just how slow it really is, and how much I take for granted that I can access pretty much anything I want without having to wait for it. (As Lionel said) YouTube is an absolute no-no – not that I use it all that much anyway, but still.

And it’s surprising just how many sites fall into the trap of taking broadband for granted. Some of the sites I’ve done certainly do – although, thankfully, not the photography portfolio site, which still loads pretty quickly. (well, in comparison to other photo sites, although it’s still painfully slow on the available bandwidth)

Taking a positive from this enforced period of online-dragging is that I’ve now checked all the sites I’ve done of late, and there’s at least one that may get a rewrite at some point because of those tests. But for the most part, I’m actually feeling quite chuffed that none of them are too painful to load up on this slow-ass piece of crap non-broadband connection.


Comeuppance pt. 2

Following on from Psycho Cat’s fun events on Monday night, he didn’t go out at all after dark last night. He’s OK going out in daylight, but whatever happened on Monday has definitely shaken the little git up a bit.

I don’t know if another cat has already marked our garden as it’s territory – in two months of being up at the place on a regular basis, I’ve never even seen another cat- but if so then we’re going to have battle royal at some point. As it is, though, it could equally have been something non-cat that had a go at him – whatever it was, it certainly scared the little sod. Which, in my opinion, is no bad thing – the psychotic bugger needed some humility battered into him at some point.


Moving Phones

I should’ve known that the efficiency of BT in the last move was an exception, rather than a rule. I should’ve chased them up more, I know.

I was lulled into a false sense of security by someone who sounded efficient, but wasn’t.

So on Friday when I tested the old phone number at 3:30pm, and got a ringtone, I thought “Oh, bollocks.” So I rang BT’s Moving Home department, and eventually got through.

“Oh, I don’t know what’s happened there – the system seems to have decided that there was a problem with the order, and then we didn’t tell you about it”
Yeah, no shit. At 4pm on a Friday, imagine how happy that makes me.

As it turns out, the order had got completely lost in the system. No idea why, and no-one can tell me, either. Bunch of tossers.

But in fairness to them, within 2 hours of being told, the landline had switched over to the new number and the new place without any further hitches. That bit is simple, by all accounts. (Doesn’t explain why it takes them two weeks notice usually, but there we go)

Broadband, however, is a problem. Supposedly it takes five working days, regartdless of anything else. It’s incredibly annoying, but again it’s one of those things where there’s really nothing I can do except wait. Oh, and phone them on a daily basis to see how it’s going. *grin*

But ’til Monday June 4th, it looks like I’m stuck with slowband. And oh God is it slow, after being used to ADSL for the last four and a bit years…


Comeuppance

Conventional wisdom dictates that when you move, if you have a cat you should spend at least a week, and preferably a fortnight with the cat confined to the house, so that it learns its new environment before being let out into the world, so that it knows where to come back to.

In our house, conventional wisdom takes a back-seat to sanity.

Last night, following two nights of continuous whining and yowling from Psycho Cat wanting to go out, we let him out. Well, I opened a window for him. He’s already been out for a couple of short forays into the garden (again, due to perpetual whining/yowling about wanting to be OUT.) – the forays were cut short due to huge dollops of rain/wind, which he wasn’t keen on.

Anyway, within minutes, there came the most godawful yowling from outside. My first thought was that Psycho Cat had jumped from the window onto the patio below, done something stupid, and broken a leg. That’s how bad the yowling was. Definite ‘cat in pain’. (The second thought was ‘shit, it’s half eleven on a Bank Holiday Monday, where the fuck are we going to find a vet’ and the third was ‘If he’s broken his leg, how the hell are we going to get him into his cage when he’s in pain? I’m not carrying the psychotic little shit in a blanket’) The noise continued while I got dressed to go outside and see what the hell was going on. (“got dressed” in this instance meant ‘put on trousers, t-shirt and boots’- which is probably more of a mental image than you needed.)

I got outside- still with the yowls- and hunted around. Turned out, Psycho Cat was hiding under the oil tank. When he decided it was ‘safe’, he dashed out, across the patio, and up through the still-open window. Filthy, of course. Herself closed up the windows and doors so he couldn’t get out again, and I had a look round the garden to see if anything else was visible. There were a couple of significant clumps of white fur around the place, but nothing else visible.

Going back inside, Psycho Cat was OK, but most definitely nervous and shaken up. Something had had a go at him, though, for sure. He’s had a couple of bites on his sides, and both front legs/paws have some damage to them – one was bleeding a bit, and he’s being delicate around the other. He’s OK in general, and we’ll keep an eye on the bites over the next few days.

As yet, we still don’t know what happened. We didn’t hear the noise of another cat at all, so it may have been something non-feline that had him. We’ve seen stoats in the vicinity (who could, I suppose, have seen him as a big white rabbit) and I’m quite certain there are foxes about, but I would have thought that a fox would’ve done more damage. And of course, it still could’ve been another cat- just one we didn’t hear. (Although usually you hear cats doing the territorial yowly thing before conflict actually happens) Whatever it was, though, it was bloody fierce. It kicked the crap out of a cat not known for being frightened of anything, and left him cowering under the oil tank.

Oh, and he didn’t leave the bed for the rest of the night, slept safe and warm between Herself and I.


Late

And just to top things off, this morning I didn’t take into account that we now live about four miles further away from the train station than we did on Friday.

So I left ‘on time’ and got to the train station late – just missed it by a couple of minutes.

Which means that today I’ve ended up driving in to work. Not great, but it does mean I got here pretty much still on time (depending on the time of day, the train journey and car journey take pretty much the same time, roughly an hour each way) and just have to sort out where to park. Still, could be worse.

And it also meant I got in to work at just about the time I’d have been catching the next train to Cambridge, and would then still have had an hour to travel, so *shrug*

But I’ll remember to readjust my timings tomorrow, you can be sure…


56k

So yes, the move went fine. Well, except that BT ballsed up the number move, so I won’t have any broadband access ’til June the fucking 4th.

Needless to say, I’m bloody furious with them. But then, I’ve also got three free months of broadband once it does get connected, so *shrug* could be worse.

And for now? Well, dial-up access at a max of 56Kbps is – how shall I put this – interesting. If dull.


Working

Before anyone asks, yes, I ddi feel somewhat guilty about working while all the moving stuff was going on. However, it had been agreed between Herself and I that this was the best way to do it. There’s a few good reasons, but the main one is always the best. Money.

Because I’m a contractor, I don’t really get sick pay, or time off pay. Not going in to work costs me/us money – and it’s a fair amount on a daily rate. While we’re not on the breadline- far from it- nor are we so rich that we can say ‘oh, sod it, a couple of days off, doesn’t matter’.

Equally, well, most of the work was being done by other people. We’d got a removals company doing all that side of things, loading up their truck/lorry/whatever and so on. We’d already packed just about everything – the PC etc. got done on Thursday night- so it was a matter of taking the bed and desk apart, and all the rest got done by the removals people. Herself had her family helping too, which was another great bonus, and meant that things ran smoothly.

Oh yeah, and it also means I was up at 6am, working from 8-4 so that I could then get home and carry on doing work on getting stuff set up and so on once it’d been moved in to the house. Equally, with the way the house will be worked on, we’d only really got four rooms to get sorted out initially (living room, bedroom, office, and kitchen) – most of the rest of our combined stuff is going to be put in storage in the garage at first, and will be gradually migrated as we sort the place out.

So while it may sound like chaos (and probably is chaos) there’s method in our madness. And I’m sure I’ll be made to make up for it over the weekend. (Particularly if the fucking phone and broadband aren’t sorted out)


Maybe. Maybe Not.

One aspect of the move that may or may not work out at the moment is all the stuff around internet access, phone lines and the like.

While I’ve organised the move with BT (and written about it before) I noticed last night that the electrician who’s been working on the place has taken out the master phone socket, and not replaced it. And because the place already has/had a phone line etc., I have a nagging feeling that BT aren’t going to be sending anyone out to actually do any work in the house. This combination makes me worry about things, as you can imagine.

If we’re lucky, (we were last time) the guy who will be installing the Sky/Sky+ at the new place today will be able to connect a phone socket to the existing wires, and all will be well, so that when I get back from work, I can connect in the phones and ADSL Modem, and everything will Just Work™.

Alternatively, well, I won’t be adding to D4D™ for a couple of days. I’ll only know at about six pm tonight, by which time well, if it’s not working, it won’t be working all weekend.

Joy


Well Timed

Yesterday, in the time we’re doing all the packing up and sorting out of the current house before moving today, Herself had an interview in Cambridge. The letter informing her of the interview date only came through on Monday, so hile it’s all gone OK, it’s all been on very short notice, and on one of our busiest weeks.

In the end, I drove us both into Cambridge yesterday morning at some ungodly hour, was in my office just after the building opened, and then Herself went to the interview, then the presentation she needed to make a couple of hours later. And as timing worked out, she finished, and came to meet me in Cambridge just as I was finishing work, so a quick(ish) drive back to home, and then on with the preparations.

Fortunately, we’ve had help from the in-laws, which had all been planned out way before news of the interview and so on came through. They arrived on Wednesday night, and got one hell of a lot done around the two houses yesterday.

Things are just about ready for us now to move in. Well, when I say ‘ready’ I mean “we’ve done one hell of a lot, and it’s infinitely better than it was, but we’ve still got a long way to go…”. Then again, through the bank holiday weekend, we’ll get a lot more done.

It’s going to be good, getting in to the new place at last. The last couple of weeks have been a nightmare, getting people organised to come in, forgetting to work on Norfolk Time (sorry, Toime) where ‘yes we’ll definitely be done by the 25th’ translates into ‘or maybe we’ll actually do the work on the 26th’. In some ways I’m amazed that D4D™ hasn’t contained more rants about tosspot tradesmen this week, but there we go, them’s the breaks. I’ll probably vent all that stuff once everything’s done.

And just to top things off this week, Herself’s car has to go in the garage today. We discovered yesterday that one of the door locks has completely jammed= so badly that the garage can’t even get it to lock manually- and just to be a pain, it’s jammed in the open position. No idea how long it’s been like that, of course, but once we know about it, it has to be fixed ASAP. On the day we move, as it turns out.

Nice to see that the art of timing is alive and well.

UPDATE : She got offered the job! Yay!


Extended Sentence

Well, it’s been determined, my sentence here has been extended again – I’m now here ’til the end of August.

At that point, I’ll have been in this one contract for 11 months.

Time flies when you’re having fun.


Idiot

Newsflash

I’m an idiot..

Hey, like tell me something I didn’t already know…


Moving House

Today, we’re moving house. It should be fairly pain-free (with luck) – although most of it involves relying on other people to do stuff. (I’m looking at you, BT)

Of course, if BT don’t do their thing, I’m going to be offline for the weekend. We’ll see.


Preparations

Well, we’re just about ready.

The dog’s doped to the eyeballs, Psycho Cat is in a basket and ready for transportation. The current place is pretty much packed now – only the PC, desk, and stereo that really need doing now.

And then tomorrow it’s all happening.

At long bloody last.


Aerosol

This morning, when I got to work, the lift stank of perfume/deodorant. Someone had obviously sprayed it about while they were in there – what the hell, it was early, why not? It was strong enough to make me cough ’til I got out of the lift, but that was it. Nothing special.

Anyway, just in case anyone else complained, I figured I’d let reception know.

And in our amazing Health and Safety paranoid office, this is the resultant email…

[Lyle] entered the right hand lift at [the office] this morning and started to experience breathing difficulties, brought on by the strong smell of perfume present in the lift.
[Health and Safety person in the office] has spoken to [Lyle] since the event and he appears to be Ok.
These events have been reported to health and safety and line managers verbally.
The lift has been placed out of order in the basement until the smell has dissipated, the walls have been wiped down with a neutral cleaning fluid..

I am never reporting anything ever again. I give up.
Bizarre bloody place.


Copycats

I have to say, I find it very amusing that both Eastenders and Coronation Street have both had to alter or rewrite child-abduction storylines because of the missing Madeleine McCann.

I suspect that in both cases the scriptwriters had thought about how to get a high-profile story line – but it makes me laugh that both soaps had come up with the same basic premise…


Thithles

On my commute to and from Cambridge, there’s a field where I’m sure they’re just cultivating thistles. Whole big dead straight rows across the entire field, and the only things apparently growing in those fields are 2-foot-high thistles.

It looks very odd.


Working Preferences

As I was saying yesterday, currently I’m slightly swamped with work, but at the same time I’m finding myself a bit disinterested in at least one major dollop of the stuff I’m currently involved with. It’s not a great combination really, is it?

And of course that conflict has raised up some interesting issues for me, and some analysis of my working preferences. Hence the title.

In my normal job at the moment, I’m (finally) getting some interesting stuff to do, bringing the site into the 20th century, adding in some database-driven functionality, making it more dynamic (in the context of using server-side stuff to generate the pages, and do it smoothly and consistently) and generally letting my brain work on some groovy stuff that they want/need. In short, for me, it’s fun.

In the other big piece of work, I’ve got to adapt an existing piece of software to the client’s requirements- they’ve paid for the software already, and while it’s OK for their needs, it doesn’t do all the bits that they want it to over the next few months. So I get to figure out how/why it works, and extend things. OK, not so bad, all things considered.

Except that well, it’s boring. While integrating new bits into this site software is a challenge, and will provide a lot of work, most of that is because the way it’s currently written is fucking shocking. It’s got some major issues -things like templating classes being used for no good reason (and I must admit, personally I loathe templating classes in most circumstances) which just make the site overly complex – and run like a three-legged arthritic dog with piles. As for amending it or extending the functionality, well, good fucking luck.

More importantly, though (and something I only discovered today) is that this site software has some major security issues. Techies will know what I mean (and pull agonised faces) when I say that the site is hyper-prone to SQL Injection attacks. And this is a company that’s expecting the site to hold data on upwards of 50,000 people. Believe me, it’s a major worry, and one that can’t be easily fixed without even more rewrites of the entire thing.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I’m coming to the conclusion that actually, I really don’t like going through other people’s code and trying to figure out what the hell they were thinking. I know that in the time it’s taking me to figure this stuff out, I could be writing something from scratch that’d do the job properly, rather than trying to force someone else’s software to do the same thing, only less well.

I can’t deny it, I’m bored. I’m uninspired by the entire analyse/adapt process, and I’d rather just get on with writing my own version. I enjoy writing new stuff, figuring out problems, getting things working. I hate fixing challenges when they’re caused by someone else writing abysmal code – and getting paid for it.

I think that’s what really gets to me. The creators have been paid for this piece of crap, and have probably swanned off and sold it to a number of other places too. And while it works, it really is a heap of cack when it comes to doing anything else with it. Maybe I need to write my own version and try selling that in competition with the existing product.

Then at least some other techie could look at my stuff and swear at it before writing their own version.


Overload

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been having a bit of a crisis with regard to my workload, among other things. If I’m honest, a lot of it is down to the fact that- at the moment, at least- I have to admit that I’ve taken on too much at once. As well as the normal day-to-day work, I’ve also got one big project on the side, as well as a couple of smaller ones on the back-burner. (Although that still means they’re in my head, and need to get done) Additionally, there’s one new one where I really need to talk about it a bit with some other people. Oh, and of course there’s also all the stuff around moving house. Not much on at all then.

In fact, if I just listed the stuff I’m getting paid for at the moment, it’s still working 7½ working days per week. Not one of my saner moments, admittedly.

Fortunately, the big project has a first deadline of the end of June, and everything should still be OK for that – it’s just that a couple of the steps along the way have sort of slipped a bit. There’s some reasons for it (and I’ll probably write a bit more about those later) but mainly it’s because I just can’t at the moment motivate myself to go ferreting through bizarrely-written databases. Particularly when they’ve been done in SQL Server, rather than anything decent.

But at the moment, well yes, I’m just feeling a little bit stressed about the entire thing, and not really having all that much fun. It’ll sort itself out, I know – and fairly soon now – but all the same, right now it’s a bit more chaotic and pressured than I’d prefer.

On the other hand, well, maybe I’ll learn something from this. (Although I kind of doubt it, somehow)


Planning Process

It’s been interesting to see this weekend about the way the government is planning to change the planning application process. Of course, it’s going to come in too late for us, as we made our planning application for extensions to the new place last week.

In some ways I think it’s good that the process is being relaxed, and made easier to navigate. But at the same time I can see that it’ll have problems – and the potential for some really nasty extensions, conservatories and the like to go up over the next few years.

With the work we’ll be doing, we’ve had an architect design it, and get things done for the requirements of both Planning and Building Regs. It’s not overly cheap – ut does mean that we should get permission a lot quicker than if we’d drawn the plans ourselves, made errors etc. The plans went through two revisions in order to get everything right- partly just where things hadn’t been understood the first time round, but also partly because as we were in the house more, we had other ideas about how things would work, or how they should be laid out.

It’s not been quick – we first spke to the architect back in February, and the plans were finally completed and submitted at the start of May. But as soon as the planning aplication had been made, it was in the system, the notice went up outside our place last Friday, and people have three weeks to object to our (very unintrusive) plans.

By comparison, though, our neighbour in the current house submitted his planning request back in January, and only got the acknowledgement of it at the end of April – and that’s when the notice went up outside his place. So while he’s drawn up his own plans and (I assume) made errors that have had to be rectified etc. before the process was completed, ours have gone in and been processed on the first try.

Of course, we still won’t have the go-ahead for a while yet. After the three-week period for objctions, they’ve still got to be approved, and (I think) go through the local council as well for approval. So I’d be surprised if we had anything confirmed fully much before the end of July.

Still, at least it’s all going through now, so we’re still making progress with things. Would it be quicker without having to go through the planning malarkey? Yes. Would we still have used an architect for the plans? Yes. But I can see that a lot of people wouldn’t bother, and would likely just hire a builder to come and do what they want. Which might work out, but I’d certainly have my reservations about it.


New Environments

Over the weekend – and on other occasions recently – I’ve been taking Hound out for walks around the place we’ll be moving to, and I have to say, it’s going to be a massive difference from either Bracknell or Attleborough.

The new place is really quite rural – we’ve got fields within 50 yards of the front and side of the house – and we’re precisely one house from the end of the village. When I take Hound out round the fields, there’s no traffic noise, and hardly any noise of other people. All you get to hear, really, are the occasional tractor, a lot of birdsong, and the occasional peacock. (There’s a colony of them somewhere in the village) When we’re walking, we usually get to see pheasants, partridges, loads of rabbits, and various less interesting birds. On occasion we’ve already seen jays, hares, and a green woodpecker.

In some ways it seems amazing to me, the way I’ve changed in the last couple of years, having lived in Manchester for five years, then moving to a far smaller town (Bracknell) at the start of 2006, then to a market town (Attleborough) at the end of ’06, and now to a village that has – at most – 100 houses all told. And all in the space of eighteen months.

Truth be told, I don’t mind at all. Manchester was great for the life I had at the time, particularly being able to go to concerts pretty much when I wanted, with no real need for planning, and for general access to stuff, it was never somewhere I could see myself staying long-term. If I’m honest, I think even five years was a bit of a shock, and went past the expected timescale for being there. As for Bracknell and Attleborough, they’ve both always been more ‘stepping stones’ than places to make into a home. Again, I didn’t mind – I’ve never had a problem with being a bit transient, and knowing I was going to be moving on again.

In fact, in some ways the new place is more of a change for me than anywhere else has been. It’s more permanent – it’s the first place I’ve owned (well, joing owner, but you know what I mean) as opposed to renting, and because of that it means I don’t have to see things any more in six-month installments. We’re making massive changes to the place, and that’s good – it’s a lot of work at the moment, (as my back is telling me this morning) but we’re definitely getting there – and in the long run, it’ll be worth it.

As always, there’s still a long way to go. But with the current changes, things feel like they’re beginning to settle into the way they should be, and into the way I/we want them to.

And of course, with walks like that all round us, and the expanse of garden in the new place, there’s no way Hound’s going to object, either.


Working Hard – Day Two

  • Tiling
  • Grouting
  • Moving stuff around
  • Walking Hound for a good couple of miles
  • Playing with Hound while doing all the other stuff in the house
  • Tidying the garage, so we’ve room for storing stuff
  • Moving 52 packs of tiles
  • And 11 20kg bags of adhesive
  • Putting loads of stuff on the compost
  • And probably a bundle of other stuff as well

For some reason, posts may be light today. Cant think why…


Working Hard

It’s the last weekend before we move in, so today is being spent cutting tiles for the floors – we’ve hired a beast of a machine for cutting them, which definitely makes life a bit easier all round.

As it is, the main tiles for the two bedrooms we’ll be using (one as a bedroom, one as an office) were done a couple of weekends ago, so we’re doing all the tiles now that need to be cut to size – and as Herself has been asked to work this afternoon, we’ll get all the cuts done today, and they’ll be laid tomorrow morning.

I’m home for a quick mid-day break before going back up to the house to do the last few tiles. A break was most definitely necessary – the tile cutter is an absolute beast, I’m covered in tile dust, and my ears are ringing like a bell.

But (as always) at least it feels like we’re getting somewhere.


Delayed

“Sorry I’m late in – some idiot called me at 4am, and I couldn’t get back to sleep”

Am I missing something here? If someone couldn’t get to sleep, surely it’d make sense for them to be in early, rather than an hour late?


One Week To Go

This time next week, we’ll be moving to the new house. And about bloody time, too.

The time between completing the purchase and actually moving in has been well spent, though – as detailed previously, there’s been a lot of work done, with workers in and around the house pretty much all the time – if we’d moved in before all this, we’d have been living in a bombsite for the last month, and Hound would be absolutely orbital. So it’s for the best that we’ve delayed moving ’til now.

But at the same time it’s been hard work, and it’s felt like being in limbo. Just about every night, and pretty much every spare moment, we’ve been up at the house dealing with stuff, or organising stuff to happen. It’s been enormously busy, and I can’t deny that I’ll be happy to just be in the place – at least we won’t be having to travel between houses (even though it’s a short distance really, only about five miles each way) every day, and so we’ll have more time to get things done ourselves.

Oh, and more time to walk Hound round the local fields – in that context, we’ll be back to how we were in Bracknell, with the poxy idiot getting taken out pretty much every morning at some ungodly hour before I go to work. On that score, Attleborough is bloody horrible for dog-walking (again, as I’ve said before) with no decent places for a stupid collie to run, without either a) walking for half an hour first to get to the playing field, or b) getting in the car to go past the railway station to the playing field.

From next Friday, though, we’ll be moved in, and will have a field roughly 30 seconds away. (Five seconds, if Hound ever escapes…)

I can’t wait.


Carnival of Workmen

Up at the new house this week, there’s been a real parade of work going on.

By the end of today, the electrics will be all sorted – all the new lights, the new fuseboard, replaced switches, and fittings. The sockets have all been done, fitted properly into the walls. (instead of bizarre extension leads with double sockets on the end) There’s proper cable runs for things like the TV aerial cables so that it all goes in channels in the walls rather than being stapled to the walls. It looks smart.

The fireplace is gone – ripped out last Friday and blocked over – and the blockwork has been plastered over, ready for the wood-burning stove to go in next week. The various bits of wall where the electricians have been working have also been plastered over.

The fencing in the back garden is now done, and is all consistent, rather than suddenly changing from 6′ fence panels to manky plastic latticework. It feels more consistent, more complete, more ours.

The boiler has been serviced, and has been pronounced to be well, healthy, and OK despite not having been serviced for a good couple of years before now. (Another thing the fucking vendors lied about – and that’s a long list, believe me)

We’ve still got some radiators that need moving, and some plumbing odds and sods. We still need to finish off the floor tiles, too. That’s a job for this weekend, and probably next weekend too.

It’s not long now ’til we move in, but things are progressing nicely…


Changed Address

At bloody last, my poxy bank has managed to change my address details.

It’s only taken three weeks.

In other news, the credit cards and so on that I have all managed it instantly, online. Even sending off the driving licence parts to Swansea and getting new updated documents back took less time.

Truly impressive.


Numpty

In a fit of numptitude, I’ve left my mobile at home today.

I could tell you exactly where it is, and even thought “Must remember to pick that up before leaving for work.” Except, of course, that I forgot to do so.

Still, it should make for a quiet day. And thankfully there weren’t too many calls I had to make today.

I’m such a twonk.


Missing in Action

I could have written a huge rant today about idiots in the workplace.

For now, though, I’m not going to. I need to sanity-check it first. It may (or may not) ever see the light of day…

But right now, well, let’s just say it’s been exactly that kind of day…


Apostrophe

Signs of when to avoid a company #1:

When you get an email that contains this in the footer…

[Name]
Sale’s and Marketing Dept
[Company]

That’s all I’m saying…


Invisible

One thing I did notice this weekend while driving, thanks to the shitty weather, was how certain cars just disappear in particular types of weather. (And yes, yes, I know, every time I do a long drive, I do a post about driving standards – or lack of them – afterwards. Live with it) With road conditions the way they were – heavy rain, lots of water on the road surface – there was a massive amount of spray in the air, and I realised that white and silver cars just disappear in those conditions.

On the way up, I saw the aftermath of an accident where a silver-grey car (unsurprisingly, a BMW) had obviously been driving with no lights on, and another car (amusingly, another BMW) had come up behind it at speed, and just stoved in the entire back end of the car, run straight into it. I’ve no idea about injuries – by the time I went past, it was only the police directing drivers round the wreckage- but it was impressive.

On the return journey, in the really heavy rain and spray, I was amazed by how many people still didn’t have even sidelights on, let alone headlights and/or foglights. Yes, OK, it was daylight – in theory – so lights didn’t need to be on, but the visibility was so bad, it was worth having lights on so you could be seen, even if they weren’t necessary to see. And the majority of the cars with no lights on were – you guessed it – white or silver. And they just disappeared. You be going along, knowing there was something ahead because of the spray, but you couldn’t see the car at all.

At some points, I even used the fog lights – although I had enough of a memory-span to remember they were on, and turn them off when visibility improved again- because the range you could see dropped right down to about 30 feet max. at some points. And still drivers didn’t turn their lights on. Bizarre. I swear I’ll never understand the mentality of some drivers.


Driving Progress

Happily, the drives to and from Manchester this weekend were smooth and problem free, despite the weather being utterly fucking horrible both times. On the way up it was fairly wet, with some semi-heavy rain in parts, but it wasn’t too bad. On the way home, though, it was nothing short of torrential. In fact, it only really cleared up when I got to Cambridge.

Both journeys also involved small traffic jams caused by accidents in the foul weather, (I’m going to write a bit about that later on) and caused delays of about ten to fifteen minutes each time. But I managed both journeys in under four hours. Going up, that four hours was from Cambridge, because I’d chosen the wrong time to try and set off, so it took three quarters of an hour just to get out of the city (which normally takes about ten minutes), but then it was just a smooth journey.

The return leg was the full Manchester – Attleborough run, which TomTom reckoned would be 3hrs 50, and pretty much was – it was four hours dead once I’d stopped off and topped up the car at the end of the journey, which made for pretty good speed.

What did interest/please me, though, was my own endurance, and how I’ve got used to driving without really noticing it. Eighteen months ago, when I’d just passed the test, and we went up to Manchester, I could only manage two hours of driving before seriously needing to take a break. If I’d driven any longer than that, I would’ve been dangerous – that’s only happened once, where I’ve driven too far, and been utterly knackered by the end, to the point that once we did swap over, I just went to sleep in the car for an hour, which is something I do about once every five years.

This weekend, though, I was able to do a four hour stint without a break, and with no serious issues at all. OK, by the time I got home last night I was tired, and had a mental blank for about ten/fifteen minutes when I got in, but that was it, no really lingering effects at all. More importantly, my right foot – which, on that first long journey, ended up being cripplingly painful for the entire weekend- was absolutely fine, no pain at all, even when we then went out for a (roughly) four or five mile walk on the Saturday.

Really, I just find it interesting to see how much I’ve got used to driving – particularly since buying the Mondeo. I’m comfortable in it, which makes a lot of difference when it comes to these things, but also I just don’t find that type of drive stressful at all. Yeah, sure, the roads are full of tosspots (usually driving BMWs) but they don’t worry me at all. I kind of just take tosspotism into consideration.

In fact, I might actually be coming to like driving – which was something I really didn’t see happening, back when I passed. Progress indeed.


Electrical Work

So, today the electrician is starting work on the new house – new lights, new fusebox, new switches, new sockets, the normal gubbins.

At the same time, the guy from EDF Energy is coming to survey the work we want EDF to do in order to move the meters and supply round the corner.

Hopefully this means I can organise it so that electrician shall speak unto electrician, rather than the un-techie me having to act as middle-man in conversations between them.

Regardless, though, it’s another step along the line of getting work done before we move in. Definitely A Good Thing.


Spamrific

Ah, the joys of coming home – a four-hour drive door-to-door – to 150 spam comments.

Still, all sorted now.


Cross Words

Is it realy sad and geeky if I admit that I like doing the Guardian’s quick crossword online when I get the chance?

Or is it worse to admit that I complete it four days out of six?

You, the jury, decide.

(I’m still crap at the cryptic ones though)

UPDATED : A link to the Grauniad’s crossword page.


IQ Test Necessary

In my opinion, some people just shouldn’t be allowed in a car.

Fair enough, I don’t have a problem with someone being reliant on a sat-nav unit for directions. Hell, I’m using one this weekend, as I’ve never done the drive before. But relying on that sat-nav to tell you “You’re about to get out of your car on a railway crossing” is unreal.

“I came to this crossing at Ffynongain and there was like a metal gate, which looked like just a normal farmers’ gate with a red circle on it. I thought it was a dead end at first and then there was a little sign saying, if the light is green, open the gates and drive through. So I opened the gate, drove forward, closed the gate behind me and then went to go and open the gate in front of me. “

So, go through one gate, stop the car, get out, close one gate behind you, open the one in front. (all the time not noticing the sodding great lines of metal – also known as train tracks- going across the area) Common sense would say ‘open both gates, get in car, go through gates, pull in, get out of car, close both gates, get back in car, continue driving’ – or is that just me?


Change Of Address

Of all the things that need to be co-ordinated when you move, you really wouldn’t think that getting your bank to change your address would be one of the most difficult bits, would you? And in general, it wouldn’t be. Unless you happen to have the Manchester branch of the Royal Bank of Scotland as your account’s ‘home’. And ooh, lucky me, that’s exactly the problem.

In general, dealing with RBS isn’t a problem. I use the online banking, that’s fine. I go into the Cambridge branch, or the Reading one, and everything happens quickly, smoothly, and efficiently. If anything has to go back to my ‘home’ branch though, it goes tits up at high speed.

I don’t know what it is that makes the Manchester branch of RBS into such a bunch of useless bastards, but I do know it’s consistent in its crapness. (Actually, I do have a suspicion about what the problem is – it’s that I had a business account with them as well, and I’ll lay money that somewhere in their system, anything to do with my personal account still goes through the business section)

This time, as with when we moved to Norfolk in December, I called the phone banking section to do the change of address. All fine, apparently. Except that I know they have to send some kind of paper-trail document to the Manchester branch for them to process. Why, I’ve no idea. But that’s the way it is. Joined up banking with the RBS, oh yes.

And when the address change document goes to Manchester, it gets lost. Or mislaid. Or screwed-up and thrown in a bin. I don’t know. What I do know is that it doesn’t get processed. So ten days later, I call the phone banking people again, and ask why it hasn’t been done. Oh, we don’t know – the system says the address has changed, but the Manchester processing centre hasn’t activated it. Why? We don’t know. It must be a small system glitch.

Aye, right. That ‘small system glitch’ is also known as ‘it entered the document black hole called Manchester Processing Centre’.

We’ll see if the change gets processed this time, now I’ve invoked a formal complaint…


Away

I’m away this weekend, seeing friends up in Manchester. Which means that right about now (ah, the joys of being able to post-date these posts!) I should be somewhere on the M6, and I’ll be back home on Sunday.

By the time I get back, I’ll have gone over the 3,000 mile ‘guarantee’ period from when I bought the car, which is pretty good going too.

In the meantime, there’ll be a couple of updates on here, but just one or two per day – yes, I’ve been very sad and organised…


Progression

Today, we’re another step along the way to getting the new house at least somewhat sorted before we move in (in two weeks’ time – eek!)

The people installing the wood-burning stove have turned up to do the initial stuff, knocking out the old fireplace and back-boiler, and getting things ready for installing the stove itself a week on Monday.

Yesterday we got the boiler serviced, (and I really must think about sorting out an oil delivery sometime soon) and also got a quote for moving a couple of radiators in the house, which is another couple of jobs off the list.

I’m also sorting out mail redirection today so that it’ll be in place for when we move. All part of the fun and games.

But at least we’re getting there, and should be at least in the vicinity of sorted for the 25th…


600,000 – Achieved

Yes, D4D™ (just this bit, not the rants, thoughts, or anywhere other than here) now contains >600,000 words.

It’s taken nine months to do the last 100,000 words – actually (having been geeky and checked it – SQL’s ‘DATEDIFF’ command is great</geeky>) 274 days – which works out as being 365 words per day.

I knew that I’d been doing more longer posts (as well as still doing plenty of smaller ones), but this certainly goes to show how much more writing I’ve been doing here. Not bad at all. Nearly five years in, and still finding rubbish to write about…


Whodunnit

Ever since the story of the little girl ‘abducted’ in Portugal last week started, there’s been something about it (OK, lots of things about it) that smelled bad.

Personally, I think the parents killed her – whether accidentally or deliberately, I’ve no idea – and the entire ‘abduction’ thing has been a ruse to divert attention and provide a reason for the child to suddenly not be around any more. I suspect that the Portuguese police are thinking along similar lines, from the way the search has never really seemed to be all that serious.

All the guff about ‘we left her and her younger brother and sister in the apartment while we went out for a meal – but we checked on them every half hour, honest‘ is just bizarre, especially when the apartment complex has a child-minding service etc.

Of course, I could be A) Overly cynical and B)Wrong – in many ways I hope I am, because whatever the result, it’s a pretty grim and sad situation.


At long last

Seven weeks today, and Blair finally quits..

Frankly, the time just can’t go quickly enough.

However, I assume that the media needs that much time to figure out what to whittle on about incessantly, now that all the speculation about ‘when the lying little weasel-shagger will finally fuck off'(© Me.) is over and done with.


Addiction

Hello, my name’s Lyle, and I’m an addict.

Only, well, it’s not your normal drugs, alcohol, gambling, or whatever. It’s new potatoes.

Normally I can resist the temptation. If they’re not in the house, I’m fine. But if we have any (and they’ve been cooked, obviously – raw spud = Bleurgh) then I’ll eat them. I don’t care if they’re freshly done, or if they’ve been left to cool, or if they’ve been cooked and then left in the fridge overnight- not that that happens often.

Once they’ve been cooked, ‘saving them for later’ means ‘some time this evening’. Herself thinks it means ‘left for use with tomorrow’s dinner’. Wrong.

I don’t think there’s any hope for me on this one…


Prediction

I hereby predict that there will be a significant rise in ‘on the sick’ postmen/women in the following towns on Saturday, July 21st…

  • Wallingford, Oxfordshire
  • Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire
  • Faringdon, Oxfordshire
  • Marlborough, Wiltshire
  • Okehampton, Devon

Why? Because they are the towns that Amazon has listed as the places with most pre-orders for the final Harry Potter novel, which is going to be distributed on that day…


Trust

You can tell when colleagues respect your independence and/or silence about workplace matters – and, of course, the fact that things told in confidence stay in confidence – when they give you a copy of their CV to review and edit it so it looks better and makes sense.

It’s no bad thing, to be honest, and I do take it as one hell of a compliment to be trusted with things like that. Quite honestly, it’s pretty cool.

And then some other people think I’m hard to get on with. Can’t imagine what would give them that impression. *cough*


Just under 600,000

If you look over on the left, you’ll see that the wordcount for d4d™ is coming very close to the 600,000 mark.

Surprisingly, I only hit the 500,000 mark on 10th August last year, which means I must have really been churning out the old wordage during the last nine months!


Spiderman 3

Well, I’m no Barry Norman or Jonathon Ross, but I can still sum up Spiderman 3 pretty well.

It’s shit.

Shockingly, depressingly bad; overlong, and well, just shit. I guess it was expected. What I didn’t expect was to come out thinking “You know, in the terms of trilogies, and final parts thereof, maybe Blade Trinity wasn’t so bad after all”. And Blade Trinity sucked the balls of dead gorillas.

Spiderman 3 could’ve – hell, should’ve- been done in 90 minutes, just a slam through where you didn’t have to think about it too much, just a powered blitz through the storyline. But no, it’s all got to be so emotional, and there’s got to be a story curve where most of the bits from the previous two get cleaned up and closed off. But we don’t need any of the Sandman (No, not Gaiman’s Sandman Morpheus) sections, although from an effects point of view they’re cool. We don’t need half the shit about splitting up with MJ – and we particularly don’t need that bloody awful jazz-club scene.

The problem with “Peter Parker goes bad” is that he can’t go truly bad, because he’s the ‘hero’, so all he can do is go out and look like Jarvis Cocker without the specs. A little bit emo, nothing special. And utterly, utterly unbelievable. (I know, I know, we’re talking about a comic-book movie. But still.)

In short, if it’d been done in 90 minutes, it’d (probably) be OK. As it is, it’s shit. Don’t even bother.

And Sony? That’s another 2.5 hours of my life I want back, you bastards.


Rain at last

Ah, May happens, Bank Holiday happens, and bang, it’s raining again. Happy, happy day.

The downside of it is that we haven’t got all the water-butts set up and connected in to the guttering and downpipes at the new place, so we’re going to be wasting a lot of the current downpours. Bummer.

But at least a lot of it will be going on the garden, the veg patch, and the couple of water butts that we do have set up, so it could be worse.

And well, at least it’s proper rain. That’s definitely good…


Coincidence

Many years ago, I shared a house in Oxford with a close friend who had just had twins. Her partner of the time hadn’t been able to cope with the complex responsibilities of becoming a father, and had buggered off into the great unknown, so for nearly a year I shared a house with her, and helped with the first year of the twins’ lives. It was a fantastic – if utterly chaotic- time, as I’d just come out of a set of jobs managing pubs and hotels, where I ended up utterly hating people. (and children in particular)

I’d emphatically had enough of hellspawn brats who were allowed to run amok while their parents got pissed at the bar, or while they had a ‘quiet’ meal in the restaurant. It was only quiet becuase their snot-gobbling little mini-demons were – you guessed it – running amok elsewhere. The last place I’d been managing before jacking it all in entirely had also had a kids play area of the ‘Wacky Warehouse’ type, which was deemed to be pretty much Hell on Earth so far as I was concerned.

So when life conspired to put me in a house with two very young babies (we’re talking about two weeks old, at most) it was quite a double-edged sword. I didn’t know whether I’d be able to cope, but it was something I had to try. In general I do like children, and get on well with them (some would say it’s down to similar mental ages) and I wanted to know whether the events and lows of the previous three years had caused me permanent damage on that score.

As it turned out, they hadn’t. That year with the twins was great, bringing them up, dealing with all the normal joys – sleep, illness, nappies- amd sp pm. as well as starting off on a track that was very new at the time- websites. Yes, that was the year that did one hell of a lot of the grundwork to bring me to where I am now. Funny how things work out, isn’t it?

At the end of the year, though, things changed. The father came back on the scene, having now decided he was ready to take on the responsibilities of parenthood- and for reasons I’ll never really understand (not that I really think about them any more) my friend took him back in, and let him come back into their lives. Of course, this also meant that I was now kind of surplus to requirements, so I took my leave, and moved on.

I stayed in touch for a while, but never went back to see them, or the twins. I knew they moved away, somewhere out in the country, but never really made any effort to stay in touch after that – and it was reciprocal, they never stayed in touch with me.

On a whim this week, though, I had a look using the power of t’internet, to see whether they’re still together, that kind of guff. A couple of Google searches, and one through 192.com.

The results? Well, they’re still together, which is great – and I’m pleased to see it. It means they got over those initial problems, and that she was right to take him back. But the real “Bloody Hell!” bit is that they’re in Norfolk. And they live in the village between where we live now, and where we’ve bought the house.

I’m not going to go looking, but I suppose that the odds are high that we may one day collide. I wonder if I’d recognise them? I wonder if they’d recognise me?


Self-Inflicted Overload

Not content with all the other stuff that’s currently going on in my workload, I’m now also considering a revamp of the website I use for the work side of my life. The photography portfolio (which is nominally linked to it) is similar in ‘design’, but is lightyears ahead in terms of back-end and technological stuff.

And it occurred to me this week that actually, I haven’t updated it properly in a while, that I need to add in the most recent clients etc., and it started me thinking about what I should do with it, as well as whether the work would actually have any perceivable improvements to anyone except me. Would there be any real return on the investment I put on it? (Oh God, I’ve been working in marketing departments too long, I’m starting to think about Return On Investment (ROI))

Alongside that, I need to sort out a new bank account for the business stuff. Most of the work at the moment is going through Parasol, so all the tax and NI stuff is paid already, but there’s more private stuff coming in again, so it’s looking more and more likely that I need to do a ‘proper’ account for it as well. That’s a task for the next few weeks, though – it’s not urgent. (Yet)


Routine

In general, I seem to be quite happy with a fairly chaotic life. I’ve never really done the entire ‘career path’ thing – and if pushed I’d probably still stick with the definition of ‘career’ as ‘to ricochet wildly from place to place’ instead of the more standard ‘job progression’ definition.

However, in other ways I have put a lot of routine into my life. There’s a good reason for this, which I’ll get to in a minute, but I am aware that in many ways my days are quite routine when seen in the context of someone who professes to prefer a chaotic life. In fact, in general you can predict the rough outline of my days quite easily – when I’m likely to get up, what my morning activities will be, where I’ll go for lunch, that kind of thing. It’s not to any serious OCD-like level, but yeah, there’s a definite schedule to a fair amount of what I do.

Actually, there’s two primary reasons, if I think about it. First is that human life doesn’t really manage all that well when faced with a truly random lifestyle. The brain likes a routine, for whatever reason. And a ‘normal’ working life also imposes on that routine – the train timetable, the working hours, the 7½hour working day, they all combine to make a routine for a major portion of the day.

The second reason is rather more personal – if I have a sketched-out routine, I can deal with it even when my brain isn’t working at full power. And in the days where I was suffering from really serious insomnia, it was a good bet than when I was awake, I wasn’t operating on anywhere near full power. Hell, it would’ve needed passport control to even get into the same country as full power. So a routine allowed me to operate on what could be fairly termed as ‘autopilot’ – and operate fairly well. Most of the time, unless I was working on far too long with minimal sleep, moost people probably didn’t even realise how badly sleep-stumped I was.

Now though, I seem to be doing a bit better for sleep. Or at least it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. It’s still incredibly disturbed, and so shallow that even Hound walking around will wake me up, but it’s better than it ever used to be. And the routine is still there – I’m not as sure why, now, except that it’s just ingrained into my subconscious.


Inspiration At Last

Ah, it always comes in the end. This time it was in the form of a letter from a scumbag agency I had the misfortune to register with while down in Bracknell, wanting to move on from CrapCo. Yeah, that long ago.

Bear in mind that since registering with them, I’ve now had two other jobs, and have moved from Berkshire to Norfolk. Which Scumbag Agency knows about, because I’ve told them. Repeatedly, and at great length.

And today? An email about Java developer positions in – wait for it – London, Exeter, and Southampton. I’ve never been a Java programmer- never wanted to be, never will be. Not my thing at all.

Fucking idiots. And I’ve told them that, too. Twunts.


Uninspired

You know, I’m trying to think of stuff to write today, and my brain is just blank.

No good reason why – I even got some semi-decent sleep last night, after the previous night’s farce with both poxy animals being utter, utter fuckers all night long.

So *shrug*, no idea why I’m blank, but I am.

Live with it.


Three-Day

Ah, thank the lord, it’s Friday. And a three-day weekend looms for us in the UK. Currently, this is A Good Thing.

It means I might actually get oooh, at least one day off. Maybe. If I’m lucky.


Moving Numbers

Yesterday I called BT about us moving house, and organising the (hopefully) seamless transfer of phone and broadband from where we are now to where we will be, and all on the day we move.

Which is going to be the 25th May, just in case anyone cared/wanted to know.

It shouldn’t be a problem, as we’re only moving roughly six miles, and will still be in the same area code – but no, we won’t be able to keep the current phone number. Apparently we’re going to be on a different exchange, and this throws a spanner in the works for keeping our existing phone number.

I don’t care, particularly, but it just seems strange that BT can’t manage the (on the surface) simple thing of keeping the phone number if you move within the same phone area code. Apparently it’s fine if you’re staying on the same exchange, but it’s a no-no if you’re moving exchange. Mind you, it’s not like there’s going to be someone using that number on the different exchange, is it?

Maybe I need some landline phone expert to educate me a bit on this one…


Motorway Energy

There’s an interesting idea talked about here, creating a windfarm in the middle of a motorway (sorry, freeway) that uses the draught created by passing cars to generate power.

In this instance (in New Jersey, USA) they reckon it could power a light railway, thus enabling more commuters to get to work in a greener fashion.


Pyromania

Is it me, or is the news this week dominated by fires for some reason?

And that’s not all of them, it’s just a selection.

But it does seem like there’s a theme for the week…


Pronunciation

One of the things that is just about guaranteed to drive me bananas is people mispronouncing words- and another is verbal tics that are used every sentence or two. One of the people I deal with on a regular basis does both of these things all the time – and, if I’m honest, it probably also doesn’t help that I really don’t like this person all that much for a variety of reasons that I can’t be chuffed to go into.

So every time she wants to say ‘specific’ or ‘specifically’, instead she says ‘pacific’. It’s not a difficult word to pronounce, is it? (Apparently, it is – Herself also does this one, so you’d think I’d be used to it by now. But oh no, not at all.) At least every other sentence starts with ‘Basically’, and every three or four is concluded with ‘Jergetwharramean?’ After a couple of hours, I’m chewing the walls.

The one that amuses me (at the same time as still making me want to kill) is ‘Divole publishing’. Considering that this person works in the realm of content management systems – and is involved in trying to sell them to clients – you’d think that she’d know that the term is actually ‘Devolved Publishing‘, where whole groups of people are involved in the writing and publishing of web content, rather than it just being within the remit of one or two people within an organisation.

As it is, I only have to deal with this particular person every few weeks – which I can only see as a good thing. I think if I were to deal with them on a regular basis, I’d be in serious trouble with the law…

And before anyone mentions ‘pot, kettle and black’, I know that I have plenty of my own verbal tics- I suspect everyone does- but at least I make sure that mine don’t involve mispronunciation, or using words entirely out of context. Let alone making them up out of thin air. ‘Divole’ indeed.


Bridge Jumping

I thought I’d written about this before (although, on searching, it looks like I might not have done so) but in my opinion, the May Day celebrations at Oxford’s Magdalene Bridge have always just struck me as something that should be filed under “Darwinistic”.

Fair enough, the traditional bit involving the Magdalene choir singing at dawn on May Day is pretty cool. But the people (generally students) who then take it upon themselves to jump off Magdalene Bridge into the Thames (sorry, Isis – one assumes that ‘Thames’ is just a bit too common for Oxford) where it’s all of two or three feet deep just deserve to be damaged.

In fact, I’d consider aiming to get some kind of insurance absolution, on the lines of “Anyone who jumps off this bridge is responsible for their own actions, and should not expect to be able to claim for damages or injury caused under any circumstances”

Considering that these people are supposed to be intelligent, you’d think they could figure that out for themselves, wouldn’t you?


@Media 2007

In just over a month, the 2007 @Media conference is going to be on.

And, thankfully, I’m going to be there. Happy day.

I haven’t yet worked out the timescales for going, and how it’ll all work out, and/or whether I stay in London overnight. That’s stuff for the next few days, I guess.

Whatever the decisions on that score, well, I’m still going to be at @Media. And that’s the important thing.


Skip #3

Over the weekend (and mainly on Sunday, to be fair) we filled another 4ft³ skip, this time just with garden rubbish – dead plants, rubbish, and general crap. There’s a little bit more to be done (that joy will be tonight) and then the skip can go off to wherever skips go when they’re full.

And yes, in theory we could’ve taken it all to the local(ish) tip to be added to their garden waste area, but well, it would’ve taken at least five journeys, and a fortune in green plastic bags. So a skip made more sense.

For now, the garden is currently pretty much sorted. Which means we move on to the house, and doing some of the stuff that needs doing before we move in at the end of May. That means fun stuff like doing the floor tiles for three rooms, and getting everything ready for the end of the month.

It’s all coming together quite nicely, thankfully.


Grey

In line with the post over the weekend about getting older, there’s one other crystal-clear sign of that for me.

My hair is going grey. Not just a little, but now quite a lot.

I don’t mind, actually – it’s not something I worry about. Although when the grey eyebrow hairs appear, do tend to get rid of them. In the great scheme of things it’s a pretty minor vanity. I also tend to not let stubble grow too much now, as there’s significant levels of grey there too.

It’s never been unexpected though – my mum went grey very early (some less kind souls would point out that it was probably due to having me) and was pretty much totally grey by 35-40, so it’s no shock to see myself heading in a similar direction.

All the same though, well, I’m going grey…


Empire

One sign that you’re getting old is when a magazine celebrates its 18th birthday, and you remember reading the first one. And, unless the parents have recently thrown it out, (yes, I admit, I think there’s still a box of shit from when I lived at home) still have.

In the intervening 18 years, I’ve bought and read just about every issue of “Empire” magazine.

But it still makes me feel old, knowing that Empire has now been going that long.


Card Processing

One of the jobs that needs doing on the new house is to get the electricity supply and meter moved. Because of the region we’re in, we have to use EDF Energy.

Yesterday we got the quote for the work – some £320 or so – and advice on how to pay it. Of course, we want this done ASAP, so I call up their call centre to use a credit card to pay for it. Ho hum.

Anyway, I (eventually) get through – after 25 minutes on hold – and go through the credit card malarkey with the person on the other end. All fine – I’m never overly happy about giving over credit card details on the phone, but yadda yadda, could be worse. Until the end of the call…

“OK, I’ll take these details over to my supervisor, she’ll key them in, and we’ll get this done for you.”
“Woah! You mean you’ve not been doing this directly into the system?”
“No, we write it all down, then pass it on to our supervisor who’s authorised to enter the details. It’s security, you see.”
“OK, put me through to your supervisor NOW, please”

So I get through to the supervisor, who goes through the process again. She can’t understand why I have a huge problem with giving all my credit card details – including the security number on the back –and address details, and having some divvy little git writing them down before processing them. Then I say “Well, how would you feel if you called somewhere, and they did this with your credit card?”.
“Ah, I see your point. Well, all the paperwork is destroyed afterwards.”
“OK, and what’s to stop – say – one of your call takers from bringing in a sheet of carbon paper (I know, low-tech) , so they write the details down, and at the same time the carbon paper means a duplicate copy has been taken. Do you check for things like that?”
“Um. No.”

It’s all been done now, but I’ll be keeping a close eye on the card account over the next couple of weeks. And writing a snotty letter to EDF Energy about this method of payment processing…


Unknown Caller

Sometimes I love Google.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve intermittently been getting called by a number I don’t know. Always when I’m in a meeting, or whatever, so I never answer the bloody thing.

Anyway, today I got another call, and decided to find out a bit more. So I put the number into Google. Nothing useful came up, so I ended up starting off with the area code, then narrowing it down further. And in the end I got a result. So now I know who keeps on calling me. I won’t link to them or owt just yet, ’til I know what the chuff they’re playing it. But at least I’m now armed with a bit more knowledge.


Productive

Oh yeah, the meeting yesterday went fine – very productive, got a lot of stuff sorted out and now it’s all ready to go.

Well, I say “ready to go”, I mean “ready for me to start working on it to figure out how the hell everything will be working out”.

But all told, yes, very positive.


Rain

Ah, lovely – we’ve got rain this morning. It’s not (currently) all that much, but as this area hasn’t had any this month it’s better than nothing.

Now it’d be nice if it fell for most of the day.

Not that I dislike the sun or anything, just that we need some balance. Particularly as there’s veg been planted up at the new house which will be very happy to see rain…


Out of Office

Updates are likely to be sparse today (well, sparser than normal) as I’m in a meeting with a different client today. This is the one I recently added to my portfolio (he says, sounding grand) which I mentioned a couple of weeks ago.

Basically, it’s a start-off meeting, laying out all the requirements and plans for the next month or three, and seeing where we go from here. It’s also a meeting with a supplier of tailored news feeds for the site in question, which should be interesting.

So yes, I’m out of the office (although signed up with a wireless account – God love wireless, it doesn’t half make life easier) and in a couple of meetings for the main part of the day. Have fun…


Advance Warning

Now here’s a thing that’ll strike fear in the hearts of any sane individuals who read D4D™ on a regular basis…

Because we’ve bought a wood burner, over time we’re going to need logs. It’s a logical thing, I know. Now, obviously it’s better if you can source your own supply of logs, or combine with other people in the area, in order to source that supply. Apparently, these groups are called ‘chainsaw groups’ who will go out, and deal with a tree between them.

You can see where this is going, can’t you?

Yes, at some point this year I’m going to be taking a course to learn how to properly use a chainsaw. And, probably, buying one.

And if that concept isn’t enough to engender fear in your heart, you probably need to go see someone.


Conclusions

Sometimes, you witness something and afterwards you’re just not sure about it. There’s at least two interpretations of the events, and you don’t know – and likely will never know which one (if either) is right.

This morning, I watched something about as close to lethal as humanly possible. At a junction, a woman on a bike sailed straight through the red light, and was (at most) a couple of inches from being hit full-on by a bus. It was only the reactions of the bus driver that stopped her from closely resembling stawberry jam. With bits in.

For me though, the really grim – or, more accurately, potentially really grim- part was that the woman wasn’t alone on her bike. Behind her seat was a child seat – occupied.

And if I’m honest, it’s that which has preyed on my mind all day. I don’t know – I’ll never know- whether she was trying to commit suicide (well, murder/suicide) through getting hit by the bus (or whatever else was coming through the lights at the time) – or whether she was just stupid, wasn’t concentrating on the road and lights, or what. It’s impossible to tell.


Conspiracy Revisited

Thankfully, last night both animals slept through. No hassles at all.

Of course, if only one of them had been a pain in the arse, I’d perhaps be less convinced that they’re acting together to deprive me of sleep. Now it just looks planned…


Awesome

Out of interest, how impressed/despairing/sarcastic should I be when I discover that a company has hired a ‘webmaster’ who turns out to have absolutely no knowledge of HTML or CSS ?

And should I then take on any web-related work through that company?


Advertising vs. Truth

The difference between what fast food looks like in adverts and in reality.

Someone needs to get out more. Or less. I can’t quite work out which.


Conspiracy

There are times when I absolutely hate our animals. This weekend has been one of those times.

During the day, we’ve been up at the house working – Hound was with us for half of Saturday before coming home, and all of Sunday. Yet still at 5am each morning she’s started barking and being a pain in the arse until I’ve had to get up to find out what her problem is. Each time, it’s nothing. In fact, the only thing I can think of is that because of the conservatory on the house, the dawn chorus sounds really loud when I go into the living room, and maybe she’s barking at that.

However, with Psycho Cat it’s just that he’s a pain in the arse. He’s decided that he now needs to go back outside at about 4am, and because this place doesn’t have a cat-flap (and oh, man is that high on the purchase list for the new place!) he just sits and yells until I wake up to let him out. At 4am. Without fail.

About the only positive side is that if I simply strangle either of them, the odds are I won’t go to jail for it…


Gardening

This weekend we’ve spent time in the garden, getting a lot of it sorted. Not just Herself and I, but also the in-laws, all helping out.
We’ve managed to:

  • put in a base for a new shed
  • built and installed the shed
  • bought, set up and used a petrol mower for the garden
  • in the greenhouse
    • stripped it out
    • covered the floor of it in anti-weed membrane,then in pea shingle
    • reinstalled all the staging on one side at a decent height
  • removed two (small) trees that weren’t doing well
  • built two compost bins, and started using them

In additon, the rest of the poxy Anaglypta® wallpaper is now gone from the house.

Oh, and we’ve decided on the woodburner we want, (the Elegance 200) along with the hearth-stone and back plate (both slate), and generally just got stuff sorted out.

All very successful. If knackering.


Gun Law

Over this week I’ve stayed intentionally quiet about the events at Virginia Tech. There’s a couple of reasons for that, but mainly while I think it’s fairly shocking, in many ways it isn’t. It’s “just” another example of how America handles (or doesn’t)gun laws and disaffected people, as well as the media hype that explodes around such events.
I do find the entire gun legislation issue in the US to be bizarre, though. The oft-reported phrase about “if there’d been more students with guns, this perpetrator would’ve been killed before he could kill 32 other people” is just a marker of how bizarre the attitude is. Not “Hey, this guy – with recorded mental health issues – was allowed to just go to a shop, tick a box saying ‘no mental health problems’ and ta-da, could buy unlimited ammunition, and a semi-auto pistol. What’s wrong with this picture?‘ No, instead they should have more guns, to stop the gun crime. Because that’s an option that’s worked so well in the past.
However, the UK has also made a mistake. (and yes, I know, I’ve written about this before) Now, when people are saying that the US needs to strengthen their gun laws, they can turn round and say “Well hey, UK, you banned all your handguns, and that has worked really well to stop gun crime from exploding, hasn’t it?” It’s the two extremes – America wants Guns For All, and the UK has enforced (legally-speaking, anyway) Guns For None. And both have problems.
In the UK, we banned all ownership of handguns after Dunblane. Again, yes, a shocking event at the time – but the reaction was pure knee-jerk ‘got to do something‘.
Now, before I get started I just want to say that I’m not a particular fan of guns – I most certainly wouldn’t want to own one. I’ve used guns, shot with them (and done pretty well) in target competitions , using both rifles and hand-guns. I’m not pro-gun, but I’m not particularly anti-gun either.
Before Dunblane, people could own guns. The owners had annual checks against police records, (and would now be checked against CRB records etc. too) the firearms themselves were registered and licenced, and had to be kept in a secure area. More importantly, the police had the ability to knock on a registered gun-owners door at pretty much any reasonable time (Nicely slack wording in itself) and check that the guns were on the premises, in their safe, in a secure situation, and check that the firearms listed on the person’s FAC (Firearms Certificate) were the only ones on the premises. If a gun was sold, the sale had to be reported, along with who it’d been sold to.
After Dunblane, pretty much all handguns became illegal. The UK Government offered ‘compensation’ to gun owners that amounted to about £150-250 per gun – a paltry sum, when you worked out what they’d cost initially. And most gun-owners still complied with those new laws. Although, of course, some didn’t. And so a new trade in illegal guns sprang up. Which has contributed massively to where we are now – where gun crime is still increasing at a depressing rate, but there’s no records of what guns are where, who owns them, etc. etc.
Yes, there’s always been a trade in illegal guns – but licensing, and fairly strict gun control was a good system. It meant that what guns were available were generally kept in secure locations by people who had regular checks done on them. And when most handguns are owned by people who have bought them, who are older and perceived as being ‘responsible’, and do boring stuff like target shooting with them, they lose a lot of the ‘glamour’ that they’re now afforded by the media (by which I mean films, music etc., rather than newspapers)
I suspect that a lot of the current ‘gun culture’ has come about because of their very illegality. To own, or have access to, a gun is to have some level of cachet, some perception of ‘cool’ or ‘clever’ or ‘big’. But no-one knows that you have it unless you display that you have that access to guns. And/or a willingness to show off, and use them.
As the US has repeatedly shown, free access to guns doesn’t work. But nor does no access at all. Somewhere in the middle, perhaps there’s an option that will work. Or at least work better than the current methods.


Upgrade

On the laptop, I don’t have MS Office – instead, I use OpenOffice, and for my email Mozilla Thunderbird, which is a stonking bit of kit, and satisfactorily replaces Microsoft Outlook for everything I do. I keep on considering installing a calendar plugin like Lightning or Sunbird, as it’s now the only thing missing from Thunderbird’s functionality that I find occasionally useful – although obviously not occasionally enough to actually do anything about it.

Anyway, now Thunderbird 2.0 has been released, and I’ve installed it this evening. So far, it’s looking good. A much nicer front-end (which isn’t essential, but does help) with the ability to add tags to emails for easier searching/archiving, updated junk mail stuff, and – most interestingly to me – being able to use browser-style ‘back’ and ‘forward’ buttons to navigate to replies etc. in any specific email. To me, that’s brilliant.

I’ll write more about it as I go on further with Thunderbird. But initially, yeah, it’s definitely a great upgrade.


Guilt Art

(via Gordon)

I’d love to see these pictures/prints/paintings at the true life-size – they must make an impact on you similar to the way some of Andreas Gursky’s ones do.

Basically, they’re artworks displaying our conspicuous consumption, and when done to life-size must be truly huge/impressive.

In fact, Chris Jordan’s entire site is pretty phenomenal.


House Stuff

I’m only doing a half-day at work today, then heading off to the new house. We’ve got people coming round to show us a couple of wood-burners for the living room, and to see what needs doing to the place in order to accommodate one. It’s something we both want to have in the place, so with a bit of luck it shouldn’t be a great problem. *crosses fingers*
Alongside that, we’ve also got the new garden shed being delivered at some point today (“Yes, Sir, it’ll be there some time between 7am and 7pm – if you’re not going to be there, can you leave a note on the front door, authorising us to leave it. No, we can’t just tell the delivery driver to leave it, you have to give your written authorisation.” So why not just advertise we’re not moved in yet? Fuckin’ twunts)
Over the last week, we’ve also taken delivery of:

  • All the floor tiles for the house, as well as necessary tile adhesive, grout etc. – which came on two pallets
  • A small toolstore
  • A 400litre water butt
  • Two wooden compost bins
  • Oh, and had a visit from an electrician, checking out what we’re planning on doing with the place.

Because of the shit-for-brains way that the fusebox and main electrical supply is located (which has to be seen to be believed, but is basically boxed-in at the side of a kitchen unit, so that it’s pretty much inaccessible) it means that we’re also going to have to move the supply, and fusebox. Which means getting the electricity supplier involved, as it’s supply-side rather than domestic-side. Oh good, that’ll be fun. But the wheels have been set in motion this week on that one too.
All told, things are going pretty well. We’ve had the place two weeks, that’s all, and we seem to have managed to get a lot done.
Initially the plan was to be moving in next weekend, but from the way things are going – and the work that still needs doing all over the place – I think we’re now looking at the end of May to move in to the place. It means we can get the electrical stuff done, the flooring in living room and two bedrooms (which is pretty much all the rooms that won’t be having something done to them – the only other room that’s unaffected by our plans is the hallway!) and hopefully also get the wood-burner installed before we go in.
That’s the plan, anyway. We’ll just have to see how things pan out.


Home Page

This week, Chris asked:

“When are you going to update the home page ?? 2005 is 2 years ago now..”

And it’s a valid point. I haven’t updated quite a number of pages since I moved over to WordPress properly, and while I’ve thought about it before, I may just have to do a little bit of a revamp and/or editing of D4D™ over the next couple of months.

Mind you, I think that the ‘random’ page is really the main landing page for D4D™ now, so maybe I should just move stuff around a bit (or just do some redirections behind the scenes) so that it becomes the ‘front’ page for the site.

It’s all definitely something to think about. And, of course, to ask you lot what you think I should do…


Shaved

Psycho Cat went in to the vets today – over the last couple of weeks his fur had been getting increasingly matted and his normally white fur was rapidly going grey. So yes, it was time for him to get his annual shave.

Even with a new vet, they still wouldn’t do what I really want, which is to shave the mucky little sod like a poodle – but he’s definitely been tidied up by them.

However, because he’s also such a psychotic little shit, he has to have a general anaesthetic, and now he’s home he’s like a bear with a sore head. Well, a very violent and grumpy bear with a sore head. He’s emphatically unhappy, and Hound is treading very carefully.

He’s come out of it all OK, though – it’s just he’s now very patchy…


Dropping Calls – Redux

About a month ago, I wrote about people who can’t cope with calls being dropped while on the train.

There’s one person who regularly gets the same train as me on the way home, and she drives me barmy.

Every bloody day, she’ll spend the journey talking on her mobile (fair enough, doesn’t bother me), but every bloody day when we get to Thetford, and the Land of No Coverage, she loses the call, and looks in absolute amazement at her phone, as if its never happened before.

You just have to wonder whether she thinks the cellular network will upgrade itself if she just keeps on trying…


One Month On

Having looked back, I’ve just noted that actually, I’ve had the new car for just over a month now. Scary, the way time flies when you’re having fun.

Oh, and it’s now done just under 2,000 miles – not bad, all things considered.

I’m still pleased with the car (despite the additional scratch) and so far it’s performed well on all the things that’ve been required of it. Over the next couple of months there’s going to be a couple more long journeys, as well as a whole bundle of shorter ones between current place and new one, and all that guff.

But yes, so far it’s turned out to be a pretty good buy. (Just wait- now I’ve said that, things’ll start falling off the sodding thing)


Automatic Lighting

A while ago, I wrote about the lighting in our office, which has automatic sensors, meaning that the lights go off if no-one’s around. All very useful and energy-saving I’m sure. These lights are also in use in the toilets, which makes life more fun. There’s a delay of a couple of seconds once you’ve walked in, where you’re still in darkness before the lights go “Oh, bloody hell, there’s someone in here – best get to work”

What I have discovered, though, is that if you’re bored or in a silly mood, you can evade the sensors. Yes, it’s pitch-dark in there, but still, you can evade them. It’s all a bit “Mission: Impossible”, and involves sneaking along, wedged right up again the wall, so that you’re out of the sensor’s range.

What I have also discovered though, is that if you’ve done that, and then someone else walks in, they give you a very strange “What the hell are you doing?” look…


Mood Change

While MOTB may now be officially over, I notice that still there is nothing that changes my mood from OK (if “Oh God it’s early”) to Growl quicker than some stupid little smeghead cunt cycling up behind me on the path and ringing their bell in order to make me get out of the way.

In fact, it’s like flipping a switch. One little *ting* from that bell and Bastard returns, slowing down, making sure that the shit-for-brains arsewipe fucker behind me can’t get past.

In the end I didn’t quite slow down enough for them to fall off their bike, but they had to go off the path and onto the road in order to get past. And didn’t quite dare yell anything at me, as they’d been in the wrong anyway. (not that that appears to matter to Cambridge cyclists most of the time)

Really quite satisfying.


The 12 Breeds of Client

(via Gordon)

The Twelve Breeds of Client, and how to work with them.

I think I’ve worked with all of them!


Mid-Bench

When I’m working, at lunchtime I tend to go out, get a sandwich from somewhere, then find somewhere to sit and eat it. I like being outside – even in Winter – unless the conditions are just ridiculous. For instance, there’s obviously no point sitting outside when there’s a thunderstorm.
Particularly when it’s sunny though, I find there’s something that really pisses me off. If I’d thought about it, I’d have added it to Month Of The Bastard. (and I probably will do for the next one – because oh yes, there’ll be another one without a doubt) It involves the benches in the local park. Well, wherever I go for lunch – currently it’s Parker’s Piece in Cambridge, but the same appears to apply wherever.
Now I don’t mind people sitting on the benches, and I don’t mind sharing my bench with other people. Amazingly, I’m kind of reasonable like that. But the huge majority of people don’t want that, r don’t think about it – and they plonk themselves right in the middle of the bench/seat. I don’t know if it’s a conscious decision, to be honest, but when you have eight benches, each with one person plonked in the middle and trying to dominate the entire thing, well, it pisses me off.
Me? I sit at one end of the bench. Then anyone else who comes along can also site at the other end, or if it’s a couple, they can sit together. Doesn’t bother me, I don’t mind – they’re public property after all (well, council property, but you know what I mean) so who cares?
But with Mr (and it’s usually a bloke) Middle-Sitter, they’re trying to dominate, to make sure that people don’t sit on the same bench as them. It’s as though the bench is- at least temporarily- theirs, and no-one else can encroach upon it. Of course, to me that’s like a red rag to a bull, so I tend to sit in one of the spare sections. Even if there’s an empty bench just along the way. (Not that any of the Mr Middles ever mentions that) It’s funny as hell.


Stupidity 3 : Me

This morning, at some ungodly hour…

Me : I can’t find my keys.
Herself : They might be in my fleece
Me : [checks] Nope. Yours are on the table, but mine aren’t. You had them to drive home last night.
Herself : [getting out of bed, and looking around the house] Well I gave them to you when I got in. I locked the door and gave them to you.
Me : Nope, I haven’t got them. [checks trouser pockets] *Ahem* Ok, sorry, I have got them…

So yes, I do feel like a bloody idiot. And there’s a good reason for that.
It’s because, on occasion, I am a bloody idiot.


Stupidity 2 : Email

It’s going to be one of those days where silliness runs rife…

I’ve just received this (at 10.20) by email…

Due to the continuing issues with the mail server we will be rebooting the server at 10:00 this morning. The service should be available again by 10:30. Again, we apologise for any inconvenience.

So, sending out an email to tell people that the email server is down…


Stupidity 1 : Border Crossings

via Cryptogram, I came across Tom Kyte’s story of a border crossing – it sounds like it should be from a script of “Some Mothers Do Have Them”.

Brilliant. Funny. And just slightly scary…


Knackered

I’ve been up at the new house again this weekend, and in that time I’ve

  • ‘Pruned’ (AKA annihilated) a buddleia, right back to first growths, which has left it roughly 10% of the original size. This is A Good Thing
  • Tidied a lot of the garden, and chopped up the remains of the annihilation for use on the wood-burner when we have that installed
  • Removed 11m² of poxy bloody laminate flooring and underlay
  • Removed 18.5m² of manky lino floor tiles

In addition there’s been all the normal domestic stuff – shopping, walking Hound, playing with Hound in the new garden etc. etc.

And now, I have to say, I’m totally bloody knackered. Which is fair.


Signage

Last weekend, a couple of new road signs appeared in Attleborough. They’re the flashing ‘slow down’ type, which are supposed to be effective against speeders. Yeah, yeah.

They’ve been installed in a 30mph area, but they’ve actually been set to somewhere around 20mph.

As such, they just flash at every single vehicle, telling them to slow down even though they’re well within the speed limit for the area. And as a result, they’re just being ignored. If they were set accurately, they might have some effect – but in this case no, people just ignore them.

Or, in my case, wave two fingers at them, and tell them to fuck off. I’m charming like that.


Oh, you have.

This Post from More A Way of Life made me laugh out loud (no, really) this morning.

Genius.

Now if only it’d been sent to the person concerned…


B&Q – Another Attempt

I forgot to say at the time, (although I did mention it in the summary of the week) but when we were checking out quotes and costs for getting floor tiles for the house – a large task, but one that makes a lot of sense in the long run- we decided to brave B&Q again. After all, I’ve slagged off their home delivery service and website, and the comments from various B&Q employees on there have all made out that the people in the store are a lot better.
Now bear in mind I didn’t go in with the attitude “B&Q are shit” or any preconceptions – and also bear in mind that we’ll be going back later for some of the things we do want, which we’ve seen there for decent prices.
Anyway, we’re looking for (at the time – the specs changed slightly later on) roughly 126m² of floor tiles. That equates to One Fuck Of A Lot of tiles. About a thousand tiles, depending on the tile size (obviously) and when you take into account the amunt of tile adhesive and grout we want as well, we’re talking somewhere around the £2-2,500 mark.
We see a tile type we like, and (when we eventually find one) ask a member of the staff team whether it’s possible to buy one tile to take home to check we like the things when they’re in situ.
“Oh, I dunno, snomydeparmen. I’llgoantryanfinesommunwhoknows” Roughly translated, this works out as “Oh, I don’t know. Sorry, it’s not my department. Wait here, and I’ll go and try to find someone who does know, and may be able to help you“. I think.
We wait.
Eventually he comes back with someone else.
“We don’t do sample tiles. It’s not policy”
“We’re not wanting to just take one, we’re quite happy to pay for it”
“We don’t do sample tiles. It’s not policy. You can buy a complete box, and bring it back for a refund”
“We don’t want a box. We just want one tile so we can see how it looks. Look, here’s one that’s seperate, so you don’t even need to break open a pack”
“We don’t do sample tiles. It’s not policy.You can buy a complete box, and then bring it back for a refund”
“Look, we’re going to be buying a hundred and twenty five square metres of these tiles. We would like to buy this one seperate tile, so we can see how it looks in the place before buying two grands worth of tiles, plus adhesive and grout”
You guessed it.
“We don’t do sample tiles. You can buy a full box, then return it if you don’t like them”
“OK, so for want of this one seperate tile, you’re prepared to lose a sale of about two thousand pounds?”
“We don’t do sample tiles”
“Can I speak to your manager please? I’d just like them to know why they’re going to lose this amount of business”
“I am the manager” (Aye, right)
“OK, then. You’ve just lost our business, because you won’t let us buy this one tile, because it’s ‘not policy’. That’s two grand (roughly) plus all the adhesive, tile grout and so on. Nice work.

He did let us have the tile in the end, once we’d started walking away. Amazing what that’ll do, just demonstrating that actually yes, you can find other places, and that B&Q aren’t the be-all and end-all of the business. I’m not quite sure what the ‘policy’ is that he was quoting, but I suspect it’s “B&Q have a policy of not wanting large dollops of business. Piss off to a proper place instead”

Unsurprisingly, we won’t be going with them for the tiles. And yet again it gives the lie to all those commenters who say that the staff in-store at B&Q are really helpful and do their best to help anyone who asks.

In my store (replicated across the entire network) we give 200% effort into giving every single customer excelent customer service.

Aye, right. 200% of fuck-all is still fuck-all.


Unable to Buy

All the major UK media carried a story yesterday about how public workers can’t afford to buy houses. I’m sorry, but I’m actually quite unsympathetic about this.

You see, the public workers that are mentioned in the story are teachers, nurses, police, and firefighters. And with the exception of the teachers, all the others are a self-inflicted problem. Well, not self-inflicted per se, but most certainly it’s a problem that’s come about through the decisions of the employers of these public workers about 20-25 years ago.

Before the 1980s, hospitals, police forces, and fire brigades all had subsidised accommodation for their staff/members (whichever you want to call them). In some areas, the police and nurses in particular had whole housing estates of subsidised housing. The same is true of the MoD, and soldiers having subsidised housing although even that is now coming to an end.

In the 80s and 90s, though, the various authorities (regional police forces, health authorities etc.) decided to sell off those housing areas, and make some money. OK, a load of money. So that’s what they did – bang, all the subsidised housing getting sold, giant profits being made on the sales, and not a thought to what would happen in the future.

And that’s what resulted in the current situation. If the subsidised housing were still available, the affordability of it for those key workers in the public services wouldn’t be an issue.

Just another case of short-sighted (and greedy) actions for a quick profit, and no thought to the future…


Workload Chaos

At the start of March, I was doing OK. I had my normal full-time work, one client site that needed the final bits done to it now that the proof-of-concept had worked, and one ‘own project’ site that was coming together nicely. In addition, I was busy quoting for work, and sounding out a couple of potential clients – not in a stupid way, though, as I was fully expecting one to come in quite quickly, and the other to take a bit of time before it all got off the ground. It was at least semi-organised, and semi-planned.
Six weeks later, I think that it’s just possible I’m on the edge of a precipice above shit creek. As well as normal full-time work, which is ongoing, I’ve now got not one but two client sites that need working on. Like, right now. Both could (if not downright should) be full-time jobs in their own right, but they’re both part-time.
And that would be (just about) OK if it weren’t for the additional fact that there’s still that other client site that still needs the final bits doing (and a name to be decided upon). Oh, and another one from the same client that stands to be a useful little project, where I’ve got the domain name(s) sorted, and currently not much else.
And then there’s all the house stuff as well. Oops.
In the name of sanity, I’m not going to work on any ‘own project’ sites for a couple of months while I get everything else dealt with. (Well, I say that, but I bet it changes…)
Thankfully, at least one of the two client sites that needs working on is going to take a week or so in order to get everything set up satisfactorily in the first place. That might just give me the time I need to look at that longer-term-outstanding site, and get it sorted/finalised. That’s if I’m lucky.
I know, this is always the way it ends up happening, particularly with IT, websites, and, well, just being self-employed. That doesn’t make it any easier then things suddenly jump from ‘ambling along, doing fine’ to ‘holy crap, loads to do’ though, no matter how many times it’s happened before, or even with the knowledge that it’ll be absolutely sure to happen again. Best laid plans, and all that.


Boo-Hoo

Awww, poor baby.

We get a lot of coughing wherever we go, even when we go abroad to Spain. Generally it’s good humoured, and if it gets intimidating we just walk away.

“But there’s a very small minority in the local community who are really vitriolic and make our lives hell.”

Now without even trying, I know that most UK readers will have a pretty good idea who might be griping here.

And yes, some of the (alleged) incidents are quite unpleasant, but basically the guy lives in a Jeffery Archer-esque life where you can’t believe at least half of what he says anyway, so *shrug*


House Progress

It’s now a week since we collected the keys for the house, and so far progress has been pretty good. Obviously there’s still a long way to go, but for the first week, yeah, I think we’re generally happy with what’s happened so far.
In that week we’ve:

  • Cleared out the garage of existing crap
  • Got rid of a mahogany-veneer flatpack monstrosity, horrific 80s brick/stone/concrete fireplace, carpet, and underlying lino floortiles in the living room
  • Removed all the old damp carpets from the other rooms
  • Stripped half the poxy fucking Anaglypta® wallpaper in the hallway and half the easy-to-remove stuff in the living room
  • Measured all the rooms, and the garden (a mere 165ft x 50ft) and drawn up basic plans for what goes where etc.
  • Talked to the architect regarding the plans he sent through, and sent back amendments
  • Sorted out a new account with water board (surprisingly painless) and electricity provider (also surprisingly painless)
  • Filled a 6ft³ skip with crap frm the house, had that collected, and replaced it with a 4ft³ one
  • Contacted a decent local electrician (the joy of contacts in the area)
  • Found a potential supplier/installer for the wood-burner we plan to put in – and decided on the types of wood-burner we want to see when they come over
    and
  • Had quotes from three places for the floor tiles we want (including a wonderful argument in B&Q), found a place with a good price and placed the order – for 116m² of tiles, plus all the adhesive and grout

So yeah,, not bad at all.

Tonight, and over the coming week we plan to :

  1. Meet the electrician, and get a quote
  2. See the stoves/wood-burners, and get a proper quote on how much it’ll cost
  3. Sort out the veg-patch area of the garden (Herself’s domain)
  4. Strip all remaining wallpaper
  5. Get rid of poxy cheap laminate flooring in hallway
  6. Decide what to do with the teak parquet flooring that’s underneath it
  7. (Hopefully) Take delivery of all the floor tiles etc.
  8. Work out the poxy boiler/heating/hot-water system, which is currently tits-up
  9. (Hopefully) Get the boiler checked out and serviced
  10. Deal with meter readings etc. for the electricity account (I’ve done it twice and lost the notes on both occasions)

and probably another couple of things I can’t currently remember.
Not busy at all, then…


It’s what?

This one may be just me not paying attention, but has anyone else seen the new advert for Citroën cars ?

I only listen to the advert, rather than watch it, but every time it makes me look up.

Basically, they blither on about cars, prices etc., and then I hear

The shit Citroën C1

I think they mean chic, but maybe the pronunciation leaves something to be desired…


Job Done

Yes, the fireplace is no more. It took another hour and a half to get rid of the last bits, and the lumpy dollops of concrete that remained.

The combination of 4lb lump hammer and cold chisel, along with judicious use of a wrecking bar meant that most of it came out one hell of a lot easier than the first bit. But the concrete lumps were still a bastard.

Now for the poxy laminate. (Well, tomorrow, anyway)


Birth Rights

I have to admit that I find myself feeling quite unsympathetic towards Natalie Evans, the woman who has just lost her case (for the fourth time) to be able to make use of embryos created with her partner of the time before she underwent treatment for cancer.

Now yes, I’m sure that it’s ‘preferable’ to have a child of your own, and all that jazz, but at the same time she appears (in this case) to be quite obsessed with the matter – to the extent of wanting the child of a partner she’s split up with, because they’re the embryos that are available. I can kind of understand wanting to have your ‘own’ child, but that- to me, anyway – is going too far, to attempt to legally force your ex-partner to become a father, even though he no longer wants anything to do with you. To drag it out for six years makes it sound even more obsessive.

In my own cynical mind I also suspect that any child this woman had borne would be an utter hellspawn , because she’d wanted it so much, its every whim would be catered for. Of course, that’s just me being cynical, I’ve no proof of it.


Interview Results

As avid readers will recall, this time last week I was in the midst of doing three interviews in one day. At the time the results were

  1. Delusional. No bloody chance of me working for them. Ever.
  2. Interesting – very interesting
  3. Interesting, but I was lacking in certain dollops of experience to do with managing the hardware on huge websites

So one was absolutely out of the running, one would’ve needed me to go in at a lower level, and while it was interesting it wasn’t something that would’ve held me, and the last (well, the middle) one was of definite interest.
Which was a good thing, really, as I got confirmation today that they’ve asked me to do the work.
Even better, it’s part-time, only a couple of days a week, so I should be able to fit it in round my normal full-time work. Of course, that depends a little bit on the workload, and what they want me to do in the necessary time. I’ll be finding that out in the next few days.
But still, mission successful – and in many ways it’s a far better outcome than I was expecting, with regard to the hours, arrangements, and general stuff like that.


Domains

One thing that constantly annoys/irritates/amazes me when it comes to websites and the like is the sheer number of businesses who only get the one domain name.

Currently, we’re looking at a particular manufacturer of wood-burning stoves, and trying to find a local dealer for them. First of all, the company has been (so far) utter crap in getting back to us, which is a bit of a worry.

Secondly – and bear in mind, they’re a UK company – they own the www.site.com domain, but not the www.site.co.uk one. Now OK, the .co.uk one is being hosted by a certain bunch of scumbag domain squatters, but I’d still consider either a) spending the money to get the domain, or b) going through the domain dispute system to say ‘Sedo are a bunch of scumbag domain squatters who’ve registered this domain in order to sell it’.

But because it’s a UK company, I naturally go to www.site.co.uk , rather than .com . This isn’t the only company with which this happens either – recently I’ve found a whole bundle of them. It’s incredibly annoying, and just goes to show how little some companies still understand about t’internet.


New Tools

Last night, I bought some new tools for use while sorting out the house over the next few days.

These included:

  • A 4lb lump hammer
  • an 18″ wrecking bar
  • another cold chisel
  • a 15″ levering bar (I can’t remember the full correct title for it, but it’s a flat version of a wrecking bar)
    and
  • a pair of decent work-gloves for my poor delicate little hands that’ve never done a day’s physical labour in their lives. *ahem*

The remains of the fireplace are going to regret those purchases, I tell you now…


Back to Work

Ah, back to work for a rest.

Lovely. *grin*


Day Four (of four)

Not a lot been done on the house today – mainly because of social plans, but also because it’s good to have a day where we’re not working on it solidly.

At the same time, though, I’ve bought a decent lump hammer and wrecking bar (crowbar, prybar, whatever) in order to finish off that poxy fireplace as well as getting rid of laminate, lino floor tiles and the like in other places.

In addition, we’ve decided on the necessary amendments to the plans sent to us by the architect, and checked up on some suppliers, and ordered some brochures.

All in all, we’re just getting sorted for the next weeks or so of work.


Photography Workflow

Just under a month ago, I wrote about planning to change the way I use my camera a bit by starting to use the RAW file format as well as normal JPG.

Along the way, I got very lucky. I’d decided to use Phase One’s Capture One LE software to process the RAW files – I’d heard good things about it, and for starting to learn about RAW processing, it seemed like a good deal for a fairly decent price at about €99 + VAT. At the same time, because of the extra memory requirements (in the camera) for processing RAW and JPG, I ordered a couple of SanDisk 2Gb Extreme III CompactFlash memory cards (I could’ve got one 4Gb card, but it was actually more expensive than two 2Gb cards) and they came with a promotion for CaptureOne LE to get it for free. So I spent £20 to get a licensed copy of Capture One LE instead of €99. Bonus.

So anyway, I got started using RAW captures as well, and the first real time of using them was at my parent’s 40th Anniversary, and it was a life-saver. The room they had the reception in, while lovely, was a lighting nightmare – lots of windows with daylight blazing in, and thus a large amount of really harsh light coming in.

Looking at the JPG results, the photos are OK, but there’s a lot of glare, dodgy contrasts and so on. The results would’ve been OK, but nothing really worth printing or using.

By contrast, the RAW files can be adjusted on the computer, and I can change the exposure, contrast, colour balance (not overly necessary in this case, but still) as well as doing all the cropping, sharpening etc. that might prove necessary. And it’s meant that I’ve been able to send my parents some photos from the event that they’re really pleased with, and want more copies of to send around.

If it had been an event I were getting paid for, RAW and Capture One would have been the difference between an impressed and happy customer and one who wondered if they could’ve gone elsewhere and got better results.


Day Three (of four)

Jesus, I’m knackered. Today’s been busy, and we’ve got a lot done.

Before
 
After
Before
 
After

That’s the living room, before and after. The fucking horrid fireplace is all but gone, although it’s been an utter bastard. Whichever genius put the thing in appears to have put the rocks/bricks about six inches in front of the wall, and then filled the gap with concrete/cement. It’s a serious bit of kit – or at least it was.

We’ve also stripped half the wallpaper from the hallway – it’s fucking Anaglypta, and an utter, utter cunt to get rid of – and half the wallpaper in the living room as well. Although (as the photos show) it’s also taken a whole chunk of plaster with it. But that wall needed reskimming anyway once the fireplace is removed completely.

Tomorrow is going to be quiet, as we’re doing social stuff instead of working at the house. And now I’m off for a shower, because I’m fucking filthy, ache all over, and aim to collapse for the evening soon after.


When I Grow Up

One of the classic childhood questions is “What do you want to be when you grow up?“. It’s something I still ask myself with depressing regularity.
As it is, I’m fortunate enough to be in a role I actually enjoy – by which I mean the website writing, database guff etc., rather than ‘the role/company I’m in is the one I’m going to stay with forever’ – and which I do in my spare time as well as in a full-time job. Yes, I would prefer to be chainging it slightly, and be working more for myself instead of in the more corporate environs, but that’s something I’ll work on now that other parts of life are rather more settled.
But there are other things hovering on the periphery, too.
In many ways I would love to be a writer – I think that’s probably the same for most bloggers, to be honest – although d4d™ would never get a book deal. I’m at least vaguely realistic on that – d4d™ is too scattered, it doesn’t really have a defined theme. I’m not knocking those bloggers who have managed to get book deals (well, except for Belle Du Jour, but I never read that one in the first place, and never really understood the hype around it, if I’m honest) and I think people like Scary, Reynolds, Girl, and Waiter Rant absolutely deserve to get those deals. But they all have a theme, and I know d4d™ doesn’t. Then again, it was never intended to. And in many ways it actually emulates my head far too accurately.
All the same, yes, being a writer is something of a dream. It’s something I’m going to work on and attempt to get back into- years ago I wrote two novel-length things, both of which I still have copies of (and, to some degree, cringe now when I re-read them) but they worked. They were more catharsis, and dealing with shit that was in my head and life at the time, and since they’ve been completed, a lot of those issues have been dealt with, so over recent years there just hasn’t been that need to write in the same way. Well, I say that – but then I look at d4d™, and wonder if actually what I need is to take a break from that, and channel the writing energy that goes into d4d™ into something else for a while. But that’s a while off yet – there’s other things in the mental flightplan first.
The other real thing that keeps coming back to me, though, is photography. I’d love to be a photographer, to be able to make a living from that. Again, I need to work on it a lot, and to develop some themes that I can build on. Again, the ideas are there, and in this case the projects I’m thinking of would be longer-term ideas, projects with a theme that would also (I think) be commercially viable.
There’s a couple of others that’d be nice to do to, but that rely on skills I simply don’t have – I’d love to be an artist, or something of that ilk, but absolutely lack the ability to draw anything – but when all’s said and done, it comes down to three or four things, or any combination of them, really. And really in no particular order.

  1. Properly Self-employed
  2. Photographer
  3. Writer
  4. Web Developer

Day Two (of four)

We haven’t done as much on the house today, although we’ve still been hugely busy.

We’ve visited various tile places – having done the measuring yesterday, we now know how many we need, so it’s all been about finding out what the right tiles will be, and how much it’ll cost for a huge number of them. (as well as what kind of discounts we can get) And it now looks like we’ll know what we’re getting, where from, and how much for. All rather reassuring.
Of course, now we just need to order it all – but that can’t happen ’til Tuesday, as the place won’t be open until then.
We’ve also checked out some lighting places and DIY places for the things we want.
And a chunk of the manky 80’s style fireplace is now gone – well, it’s on the floor at the moment, but it’s certainly no longer attached to the wall, which is definitely A Good Thing.


Personality Profiles – Part Two

For the first part, look here.
So yes. while I’m seriously aware that my ideas and attitude towards projects can be somewhat flighty, shall we say, I’m working on it. I know what the problem is, and over the last few years I’ve been – well, if not working on it, working with it, bearing it in mind, and trying to alter my workstyle in order to accommodate it a bit.
And so far, it’s actually been fairly successful. In some ways it’s slowed me down a bit, because I can’t/won’t just get an idea and run with it- but at the same time it’s meant that I’m actually more productive, because each idea goes from start to finish, and comes to a completion point, (in general – there’s one exception at the moment, although I’m going back to that one over the next couple of weeks, and one long-term one that’s kind of faded out a bit) before I get started on the next one. It’s meant that I’m churning out roughly one site a month – as well as my normal work – which is a quick enough process to keep me going without getting bored.
On the downside, it means my brain is rather more ‘full’ of ideas, which are all in a bit of a queue. Some of that is my own fault, because I find it easier (in general) to keep those ideas inside my head, rather than writing them down on paper, or having any kind of reference material. I could/should have a notepad of ideas – whether in the form of a notebook, or just a bundle of text-files on the laptop (of course, the latter option is rather more feasible for the way I work) so that I don’t forget any of the things I’m considering, but at the same time I know that if I were to dump out some of those ideas from my head onto some other media, I’d then come up with other ones to ‘fill’ the ‘space’ in my head. So in some ways I’m again acknowledging and accommodating my traits and flaws in order to get a better or more stable working process.
I think there’s still a long way to go before I know for sure that this set of ideas has worked – or, of course, not. But so far the progress has been good, and it’s always interesting (well, to me, at least) to come up with ways of working that actually integrate with personality traits.
And maybe that’s where the ‘Shaper’ definition from Belbin comes back into play…


Day One (of four)

Well, that’s been busy.

  • Removed all crappy faux stone garden ‘decorations’. The fuckin’ bizarre people who were there before had fairies, owls, foxes, rabbits, pigs, frogs, and a couple of dodgy statue things. They’ve all been committed to the skip.
  • All the horrific 70s-style carpets have been removed, as well as the underlay – still (as we suspected) wet from the leak/flood we had back in February, so they’re in the skip
  • The remaining lump of furniture has been kicked apart (MAN, that was fun) and chucked in the skip
  • The garage has been emptied of all the left-over crap – it’s still got an amount of stuff in it, but that stuff should be at least useful
    and, finally,
  • the entire house and garden has been measured properly, so we know what we’re dealing with.

We’ve filled a six m³ skip with stuff – OK, there’s still some room for stuff like the carpet gripper rods and the like, and for a few other odds and sods, but still, it’s pretty much filled.
It’s been a busy day, but really pretty successful.
Mind you, we’re both utterly knackered now…


Four Days

The completion of the house purchase came in just in time.

It’s meant that – oh, lucky us, oh frabjous day – we’ve got the four-day Easter weekend to do some of the initial work on the place, before we actually move there at the end of April.

It’ll mean we can get rid of the horrific carpets in the place, the manky wallpaper, and the truly horrendous little faux-stone ‘ornaments’ in the garden. Oh, and whatever’s been left in the garage (apparently they ‘didn’t have time’ to clear it out. *ahem*) can go in the skip too.

Yes, we’ve managed to hire a skip already. Impressive service – ordered at about 10am, and there by 6pm same day.

And that is what we’re going to be doing all weekend.


Personality Profiles – Part One

Recently, Gordon has been doing a lot of writing about his personality type, and about personality classifications. Having taken a number of these, I thought I’d write a couple of pieces over the Easter weekend about them from my own perspective.
Belbin would class me as a “Shaper”, which is apparently someone who is “Challenging, dynamic, and thrives on pressure. Has the drive and courage to overcome obstacles.” – with the downside that I can be “Prone to provocation, and liable to offend others.”. Pretty much spot on, then. My favourite part of the report, though, is this :

Should thrive in a pressure environment where tough decisions have to be made. Needs to be given a clear remit of responsibility. Lyle can be expected to work at his own pace. So set up the job within a specified time frame and do not press for continuing and periodic feedback on progress. Judge Lyle by the final results. The answer is likely to be clear-cut in terms of success or failure.

Now that is absolutely spot-on. I don’t handle being managed – as can be seen all over D4D™, but left to my own devices, projects and plans normally come to fruition. If they don’t, they screw up in a truly epic fashion – there’s no grey area in my working profile, it has to be said.
What’s interesting (to me, anyway) though is the bit that Belbin misses out. Maybe it’s just because I’m primarily a Shaper, and not the (rather more expected) Resource Investigator. In fact, Belbin doesn’t rate me that highly as an RI at all. But there’s one part of that personality spec that is me to a tee – “Can lose interest once initial enthusiasm has passed.” That is a personality facet of mine that’s been commented on many times – I get interested and enthused about an idea and/or a project, work on it, then something new comes along, and bang, the old project dies off as my interest flits on to the new one.
Over the last five years, I’ve actually worked quite hard to take that personality trait into consideration, to take a project through to its conclusion, and to work through the bored bit, to get things finished – and in some cases to not even start new ideas just yet, because other things need completing first.
To a degree, it’s actually been quite successful so far – the new ideas still float around my brain until they’re ready, but I don’t just moth around, flittering between projects while not finishing any of them. (There’s going to be a lot more about this in Part Two)
I think that so long as I’m aware of that trait, and try to handle it, things will be OK. It’s only when I lose that awareness that things have the potential to go tits up at warp speed…


Introspection

In light of the theme of a few posts that I’ve done of late (and a few more that’re coming up over the next few days) I’ve added a new category to the list – Introspective.

Hmm, I wonder what those might be about? *grin*


Five Year Plan : 10% done

So, back on November 5th I turned 35, and started what I semi-laughingly refer to as a five-year plan. I’m only working on it year-to-year, and doing it mainly through non-new-year ‘resolutions’ – although they might as well be a to-do list, really. In my head I hold what is pretty much the full development curve of what to do and when, but really I’m working on it on that year-at-a-time basis. It makes for something vaguely resembling a sane approach to the entire thing.
The final goal? Making enough money that I can make my own choices, and do my own things, rather than being tied to a job for the next thirty years. (Twenty-five, by the end of the project). There’s some other stuff in there as well, but that’s the bottom line. One of the things about me is that I have loads of ideas that could, should, or might make money, but for various reasons over the years I’ve failed to follow them through and see how they did in reality instead of theory. Since last November 5th, I’ve been working on making them into reality, and seeing how I do. With most of them, the initial costs are pretty low (and intentionally so) so that if any of the ideas do take off, it won’t take a lot to knock them into profitability.
We’re now six months in, so I thought I’d jot out a little progress statement, just to see where things are going…

  • Photography
    1. Get a Macro Lens
    2. Get a Wide-Angle Lens
    3. Finish the Portfolio website – completed, and with extra uploads when necessary
    4. Sell/Publish some stuff – working on it
    5. Join a local club
    6. Get a decent flash – Done, a Speedlite 580EX
    7. New : Start aiming to get work and projects – Started, and ongoing
  • Writing
    1. Finish at least one piece of writing – working on it
    2. When a piece is finished submit it to the right people
    3. Just see how things go
    4. Write more on d4d™? Maybe.
  • Work / Websites
    1. Build and work on the other ideas I’ve got in my head – working on it, and getting some of them sorted
    2. Work (as always) on smaller sites, and do as many as possible – so far, three new sites launched, as well as the photography portfolio
    3. Sort out permanent job for the first part of ’07 while we’re house-buying etc. – All done, and no need to get that nasty ‘proper’ job after all
    4. Redesign d4d™? It’s about time…
    5. Merge lots of hosting accounts into one reseller account, and onto one server – done
    6. New : Start getting better at invoicing for work done – in progress, and all being done a lot more efficiently
    7. New : Develop some ideas in partnership with others, and see how they do
  • Education
    1. Sign up with Open University – initially for a refresher course, and work from there
    2. Look at an official course/qualification in Photography?
  • Other
    1. Restart the Archery once we’ve moved – booked, but not attended yet
    2. Complete the move to Norfolk – all done
    3. New : Buy a car – git it insured, all that.

So actually, the first six months has been very productive. All the foundations have been laid now, the website hosting agreements rationalised and merged where it’s necessary or beneficial to do so. In fact, just doing that and merging most of them into one reseller account has saved me £150 over the year, which is pretty impressive. In addition to that, the invoices I sent out at the end of last year amounted to a few hundred quid, which was also surprising – they were all for small amounts, so I hadn’t really thought about the way it all added up. Actually, though, D4D™ is going to be moving off that reseller server, though – it needs a space of its own, and it’s just taking up too much of the space and bandwidth available on the reseller server, so it’s going to go back to being a seperate entity. And that actually makes some sense, keeping D4D™ seperate from business sites etc.
In addition, I’ve been able to average at getting one solid site out per month, as well as a couple of smaller basic designs and/or amendments to existing stuff. There’s a whole lot of new stuff and new connections coming through at the moment, and that’s all going to start coming together over the next six month period, I think. That’s the plan, anyway. There’s some initial steps that need to be taken in order to make sure that everything has the potential and stability to get through (sorry, I’m sounding enigmatic, and while that’s not really the intention, at the moment it’s certainly the necessity.)
Photographically, now that the portfolio site is completed, and being regularly updated, I can start getting in touch with publishers, agencies and the like. I’m also considering doing image-library stuff, but it’s about making sure the photos get the best use made of them. I’ve also got a few projects in mind that have a lot of potential commercially as well – although the main thing about them is that they’re things that interest me – otherwise, if I’m honest, there’d be no chance of me going through with them. And of course there’s going to be lots of pictures of Hound over the summer…
Oh, and let’s not forget, within that six months we’ve also moved to Norfolk, bought a house, gone through all the bureaucratic nightmares of that little endeavour, and come through it intact. Over the next 10%, we’ll be moving in, and sorting the new place out too.

It’s been a good start. There’s still a long way to go – 4½years, to be exact, but the initial steps have been promising. Long-term I’ve no idea whether my goals and plans are realistic or not – but this way well, there’s no way I’ll be able to say “I wish I’d tried xxx” – because I’m trying it all. As time progresses, I’ll get ruthless, and if the ideas aren’t working out, they’ll be culled. Darwinian business – the good ones survive, the bad ones fall by the wayside.


Halle-bloody-lujah

At long last, I’ve just had word from the estate agents that we’ve completed on the house purchase.

And about sodding time, too.

Happy, Happy Day.


Suited and Booted

Getting the new suit is something I never really saw myself doing, I must admit. In some ways it’s incredibly traditional, a slate-grey three-piece suit with a thin pinstripe.

But that’s where the traditional bit ends. The pinstripe is purple. In some lights it doesn’t look it, in others it’s bright purple. For the lining, and the back of the waistcoat, it’s a similar bright purple. But you rarely see it – and that’s what I like.

It’s not gaudy, or eye-searing. In fact, for the most part it looks incredibly business-like and traditional, (No, I never thought I’d be writing about a suit, and using words like that to describe it) which is exactly what I wanted when I initially went in to the shop.

Even more surprising (for me, anyway) is that actually, I liked wearing it. Normally in a suit I feel like a trussed-up chicken, but somehow today it just felt right. It didn’t feel weird, and I could wear it all day without feeling crap or out of place. There’s a psychological side to it as well, but I haven’t yet got that one figured out – I’ll write more about that when I do have it sussed.

In fact – and this is something else I never thought I’d say – for the first time today, I could see myself wearing something like that a lot more. I enjoyed wearing it, and I liked the fact that actually, I looked bloody good in it, too.


The Results of a VERY long day…

Interview #1: Total dead loss. The agency involved had said they were looking at a certain salary, which was lower than perfect, but OK. In fact, they were offering something £5K lower. And the office was horrid. So, a no.
Interview #2: Really good. Lots of potential, and some really cool ideas. Definite potential.
Interview #3: Ok. Not bad, not great. Probably nothing worth changing from where I’m at now.

Not the best of days, in fairness – I normally have a far better success rate when it comes to interviews and the like, but well, #2 still has a lot of potential.

However, the suit was fantastic, and looked marvellous. So that’s something…


Moving Around

Yesterday, following what I’d said about three interviews, Gordon asked

From a ‘hiring’ point of view, don’t you ever worry that you change jobs so much??? Even as a contractor you do seem to chop and change..

Anyway, it did make me think a bit – although not lots – about the way I work and/or the way I change.
As it turns out, I’ve actually settled down quite a bit over the last few years, and now tend to change jobs on average once a year. In the past it’s been a lot more than that – I think the record was six places in one year, but that was in ’94/’95. But since working in IT, my worklife is a lot more stable – if only by comparison to my own standards, as opposed to anyone else’s.
I changed jobs once in ’06 (to the current place), twice in ’05 (I started a new job on 2nd January, and that was a grim mistake that only lasted three months, so I changed in April to the one that lasted ’til August ’06), no changes at all in ’04, once in ’03, and once in ’02.
So it’s not actually as bad as it seems on first impressions.
At the same time, yes, I do talk a lot about changing jobs. And if I’m honest, a job generall has a 6-9 month lifespan with me before I start to get bored- usually by the people, rather than by the job, to be fair. But I don’t just get bored and quit- I always make sure I’ve waited ’til there’s something decent to go to before I leave a place. It’s very rare that I’ll get to the point of just telling people to sod off, without having a back-up plan in place and ready to go. Thinking about it, the last time that happened was in ’01, with a contract that was just horrible – the one where I was commuting daily between Manchester or Bath, and London. Absolute insanity, and still the only contract I’ve actually walked out on. Not a bad track record for the best part of a decade.
As it is, my current workplace still want me, and I’m not (yet) at the point of generally being chuffed off. It has its ups and downs – what workplace doesn’t? – but for the most part it’s still OK. The only real downside is that they’re toss-awful at paperwork, which means I have to chase up contracts, invoices, purchase orders, and everything else every damn month, which is incredibly annoying. But that’s just how they are.
Will I change anything, should any of the ones I’m seeing today come up? It depends. If the offer is interesting, and decently paid, I’ll think about it. If it doesn’t grab me, I won’t bother. There’s a lot of other stuff going on in the background at the moment, and while it’s quite an ego-boost to see so many companies interested in what I can do, it still doesn’t mean I have to work for any of them.
So when all’s said and done, really I’m just sounding things out at the moment. If nothing else, it lets me build up some contacts, which may or may not come in useful later on in the year.
We’ll see.
Does the changing worry me? No, not really. I’ve always been a bit transient, and the entire idea of sticking in one job for years just brings me out in the shudders. My tolerance levels just aren’t that good – the constant witter of colleagues drives me insane after a while, and the true delimiter is always when I can predict every single bit of conversation that’ll be had during a day. When that happens, it’s definitely time to move on. I actually like moving on, going to a new place, finding out new stuff, doing new jobs in different systems, dealing with new people, the whole bit. I like the challenge, the newness, the learning. Once I’m done, I@m bored, and I want to move on.
For me, and for the things I do, moving on fairly regularly isn’t really seen as a bad thing. It keeps my knowledge up to date (although at the moment I’m seriously lacking on the ASP.NET side – mind you, looking at ASP.NET sites, I usually think that’s probably a good thing) and keeps me current in the eyes of agencies. To date, I’ve had exactly two contracts that haven’t extended past their initial period. One (already mentioned) because it was horrendous, and one because I’d done all the work well within the projected timescale, so there was nothing to continue with. Other than that, every single contract has been extended by the client – and not because I hadn’t done the work, either. So in the eyes of the various agents/agencies I deal with, I’m actually pretty golden (he said, modestly) and so changing jobs doesn’t do me any harm at all.


Job Change?

Yes, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve got three interviews tomorrow.

All very odd, and also very unexpected – it’s all been done via an agency, who have just suddenly exploded with work.

It’s bizarre in some ways, because with two of those interviews I have absolutely no background information – I don’t know what they’re looking for, what their plan is, what the salary is, or – really – anything. Very strange. It’s all a bit on-spec, and so I’m just seeing what happens with them.

Am I strenuously looking for something new? No, not really. The current place has said that they want me to stay here ’til at least July, and that makes life a lot easier – well, on the financial side, anyway. But they’re utterly abysmal at sorting out the paperwork, and haven’t yet got round to confirming officially that I’m here past the end of April – so far it’s all verbal.

So in the meantime, yeah, I’m sounding out a couple of places to see what’s on offer. It just makes sense for me to do so – particularly with the mortgage and house purchase completion due to happen this week.

And I’ll know more by the end of tomorrow, and if nothing’s looking promising then I’ll stick with the current place for another couple of months.


Well suited

A couple of months ago, I decided to get myself a new suit. Herself and I had talked about it before the Festering Season, and I just decided it was time to get things sorted.

No ordinary suit, though – this time it was going to be a proper bespoke three-piece suit. Serious stuff. And emphatically not cheap, either. (The other reason for doing it then/now was because I knew I could afford it, and better to do it then rather than once we’re paying off the mortgage!)

Anyway, today I’ll be collecting it. I had a final fitting last week, where I could see the pretty-much finished result that just needed fine tuning – and it’s beautiful

Even better, it’s arriving just in time for a manic day tomorrow, when I’ve got three interviews…


Dog O’Clock

I mentiioned a couple of days ago that Hound usually sends us to bed in the evenings. She’s a bizarrely time-driven animal, although I’ve no idea how she does it. Maybe we could donate her to medical science… No, maybe not.
Anyway, she has a pretty good routine sorted out in her own mind – roughly 7.30-8am is Walk Time, She usually eats at about 6, 6.15 in the evening, once we’re both home, and it used to be that there was another walk in the evenings, approximately 8.30pm, but over the winter we’ve slacked off a bit (OK, a lot) on that one, partly through the fact that it’s bloody cold, amd partly because Attleborough is crap when it comes to dog-walking areas, so it’s not currently in her head too much. Once we move, the odds are it’ll be back on the agenda. Joy.
Finally, at about half ten in the evening, she’ll start standing and staring at us, both ears pointing straight up. That means she’s decided it’s bedtime. No messing about, half ten = “Go To Bed”. If we ignore her – say, if there’s something we want to see on TV – she’ll just start barking at us. And barking. And barking. It’s no use arguing, Hound has decided it’s bedtime, and she won’t shut up until we agree.
Bloody sheep, that’s all we are to her. Not surprising really, as she’s a collie, but all the same, I’m sure that’s how she sees us sometimes. Things to be herded around, to do Hounds bidding.
She’s a pain in the arse, it has to be said. But the fact that she’s so time-driven is also a kind of fascinating thing. We don’t do anything to give her hints about what time it is, it doesn’t matter what we’re doing. In fact, you can wait until she’s started giving you the ‘time for bed stare’, then check your watch. It’ll be half ten.
Hell, she even manages to handle the clocks going forward. And that is really impressive…


Solsbury Hill

The other day, I saw that Peter Gabriel was going to be doing a concert at Blickling Hall in Norfolk in July, thought “Great, must remember to get tickets for that when they go on sale”, then completely forgot about it. Typical.

Anyway, I remembered yesterday, and I’ve managed to get tickets still. Woo!

Of course, I’ve seen him live before (once or twice) but still, I’m already looking forward to seeing him again.

Even if it did mean buying tickets through fucking Ticketmaster. *sigh*


Work/Life Balance

One of the things that’s always being blethered about in TV programmes like “Relocation,Relocation” and the like is ‘Work/Life Balance’. It’s not a phrase I usually like, as it’s one of those things that’s usually indicative of someone who’ll spout every buzzword known to man at any given opportunity – but then at the same time it’s something I find myself thinking about more and more.
In fact, that was the exact motive behind the move to Norfolk. It’s also something I need to think about a lot more for the future, and how I want to plan things.
Of course, the real ‘balance’ side of things still isn’t going to happen this year – and possibly/probably not until even this time next year. There’s a lot that’ll need doing to the new house once we (finally) complete that process and move in. The garden needs a lot of work too, although I think Herself is going to do the majority of that – her fingers are far greener than mine. But there’s still going to be a fair amount of heavy labour involved. So over all, yes, I think it’ll most likely be April ’08 before we really start enjoying the place, rather than just working on it.
Work-wise, Norfolk really isn’t a great place for a web techie – well, not in the context of normal business stuff, anyway- unless, of course, you want to work in the IT department of Norwich Union. Which I really, really, really don’t want to do. It might mean that I end up working away from home during the week again, although there’s still some decisions to be made on that score too. But at the same time, and pretty much on the same timescale as the house stuff (i.e. over the next 12 months) I’m also aiming to get my own business up and moving, doing a number of smaller local sites, as well as that plan for launching my own sites, and seeing what works and what doesn’t with them.
At the same time, I’m also going to be working fairly hard on building up the photography portfolio as well. While Norfolk and its surrounds aren’t great for a web techie, they’re bloody marvellous for a photographer, and I wholly intend to take advantage of that over the coming months. Some of the ideas I’ve got on that score will have to wait now ’til Autumn comes around, but at the same time they may be all the better for it. Others really start coming into their own now, and would work less well come Autumn, so it all works out, one way or another.
In the end, I currently think that it’s going to be this time next year before things really settle down. There’s a lot to be done in that time, and it’s going to be a lot of work to get it all sorted.

But – and this is the thing – already we’re far, far happier, and more relaxed, than we were in Bracknell. Yes, the pace of some things (fucking house purchase) takes some getting used to, and in that kind of thing I’m still probably far too driven and impatient with buffoons, but well, that’s life.
Hound is definitely far happier out here – if for no other reason than that she gets to go to the beach fairly regularly, or on big long walks through Thetford Forest, or Knettishall Heath. But she’s more relaxed about other things as well – fireworks, jet planes, loud noises and so on. Of course, Hound being Hound, she finds other things to be stressed about instead – like the phone ringing – but we’re working on those. And once we’ve finally moved, we’ll have fields all around us, she’ll be able to go for decent walks on a more regular basis (for example, the morning one will be across fields, instead of the current use of the local recreation ground – if there’s one thing that Attleborough is bizarrely shit for, it’s places to walk dogs. On that score, Bracknell was far more useful)
It’s not just Hound, either. We’re (probably) more relaxed, allbeit in different ways. My commute takes a lot longer than it did from Bracknell to Wokingham (although nowhere near the shitebag day that involved working in London from Bracknell) but I get t sit on a train and usually see deer, hares, rabbits, and the occasional fox. (Of the four-legged russet-coloured variety, pervs) Or alternatively, F15s, Chinooks, or Blackhawk helicopters. (What can I say, I’m a geek) The train isn’t jam-packed with Blackberry-wielding tosspots, nor is it standing-room only. A good 95% of the time, I get to sit at a table, and either do some extra website work, or bash out rubbish like this. Or read. Whatever.
Herself has a job that is – in general – OK, and she seems happy with how everything’s working out. Or at least she will be once the fucking house purchase has completed. (Can you guess yet what our current main stressor has been? Thought not. I’ve avoided mentioning it so well.)
Yes, life at the moment is actually pretty good, and it’s beginning – just beginning, mind you – to feel like that elusive balance may not be so far out of reach after all.


Smug

This is very sad, I know.

But I’m slightly chuffed today, because I managed to know what the problem was in this week’s episode of House – before House did.

And because of that, while I know I’m deeply sad, I’m also feeling a little bit smug…


Accompaniment

On the subject of the drive in this morning, I have to say (yet again) that for me, there’s just nothing like driving along with The The’s Mind Bomb album on the stereo.

I just love it.


Trying to Die

This morning, due to a work-related fuck-up of epic proportions (which is too depressing and dull to bother going into) I had to drive in to work, in order to get here for 7.30. And for the first time, I really thought I was going to see some idiot die on the roads.

No, not me. And no-one because of me.

I was driving along the single-carriageway section of the A11 around Elveden, which was pretty foggy. On a ‘clear’ section of road – bearing in mind the visibility of maybe a hundred feet at best, although I’d probably reckon on maybe half that – I saw in the mirror the idiot in a Subaru coming belting past the three cars behind me.

Looking forwards, I could see the headlights of a truck coming the other way…

Dickhead did manage to survive – just – because in a distinctly anti-MOTB moment, I slowed down, so he could cut in ahead of me, without splattering himself across the front of a 40-odd ton artic. Of course, in the next gap, he decided to do the same thing again – no idea of mortality, or just how close he’d actually come to being a statistic.


Easter-rific

Yes, at long last the house purchase is close to completion. We exchanged yesterday, did all the money transfers, and it looks like we’re going to be completing next Wednesday.

Of course, what this does mean is that it looks like we’re going to be pretty busy over the Easter weekend, getting the first bits of work done before moving in. Should be fun.

Personally, I’m just glad that it’s all finally happened, and that we can stop having to deal with wankhand slowcoach solicitors.


Chaos

Snowed, utterly snowed.

Updates won’t happen ’til this evening, at best. It’s one of those days.

But (in other news) we’ve exchanged contracts on the house. At long fucking last. More about that later, too.


Nagging

While I have to admit that in general we’re both pretty pleased with the TomTom satnav unit I bought earlier in the year, there is one thing that I wish I could change.
TomTom operates in what I refer to as “Goldfish Mode”. Much the same as the voiceovers in Masterchef (Sorry, Masterchef goes Large, god help us all) and Dragon’s Den, TomTom assumes you have- at best- a memory span of thirty seconds. Which means you get instructions like

“In 500 yards, turn right at the roundabout, first exit.“
You get to about 100 yards from the roundabout.
“Turn right at the roundabout, first exit“
You get to the roundabout, and start to go round it
“Take the exit“

It drives me insane, and a lot of the time I find that it’s actually distracting, because you start to wonder if you’ve missed something relevant.
All I want is an option on the menu that says “Just notify me of the directions ONCE” that I can tick, and not be treated like I’m a bloody idiot. I know, lowest common denominator and all that bollocks, but jesus, just once, can’t something also have options that aren’t for that low-end user?


Take the Hint

While we were away last week, Radio One were doing a big promotion about getting someone to join the cast (pardon the pun) on Castaway, the BBC’s latest attempt at ‘reality’ TV. Within the promo, there was one person from the existing cast who was quoted as saying

If I walk into a room with ten people in it, eight of them will hate me within ten minutes

Now maybe I’m missing something, but if that were me, I’d try taking the hint, and realise that perhaps I’m not the nicest person on the planet. I’d do something to change it.

But no, this nong sounds quite proud of it…


Bodyclock

Yet again, having a week off reminded me of just how screwed up my body clock really is. Even with the combination of domesticity, general routine, and a Hound who sends us to bed at 10.30 every night (I think I’ve written about that experience before, but if not there’ll be something about it this week, I’m sure) the body clock itself is still terminally screwed.
The insomnia that I suffered from/through for far too many years seems to be in abeyance currently, but I still sleep incredibly shallowly for the most part, to the point that if Hound wakes up and wanders around the house at all, it wakes me up. If Psycho Cat moves round the bed, I wake up. (Mind you, I think at least some of that is just down to survival instinct) Unless I’m absolutely dead to the world, if Herself rolls over, or gets out of bed, I wake up.
In short, my nights are generally fairly disturbed. That’s usually fine – I’m used to it, and can get along fine with my life so long as I’ve managed to get some sleep. C’est la vie, and all that guff.
But – and this is where the really screwed up bit fires up – if I can sleep between 7am and 9am, I’m fine. It’s the best sleep I get all night (morning, day. Whatever) During the normal course of work, of course, I’ve got absolutely chuff-all hope of ever sleeping for those perfect two hours. In fact, I’m normally awake at 7, and getting up, getting sorted, moving around. Operational, but not really refreshed, or enthused.
By contrast, over the last week, I’ve been able to get those two hours that my body really needs. All the rest can go to hell in a handcart, so long as I get those two hours asleep. My mood has been better, I haven’t been anywhere near as reliant on caffeine, and everything has just generally been much better.
I think I need to spend some time reassessing (again) what works for me. The end goal of being completely self-employed would fix all the sleep-time issues, but I need to figure a way to make it work while I’m still ensconced in offices and the like.
But on the evidence of last week, I think it’s something that I need to put at a far higher priority than it’s currently on.


Phone Calls

Today’s award for “fucking bizarre event of the week” goes to the phone call I just received.

Phone rings. It’s not a number I recognise, but OK, I answer.
“Hello?”
“Hello, can I speak to [name] please?”
{Brain shuts down}”Eh?”
“Can I speak to [name] please?”
“Sorry, you’ve got completely the wrong number.”
“Oh, OK, sorry for bothering you”.
“No problem.”

Now in itself, that’s not bizarre, I agree.

What IS bizarre is that [name] was the name for Herself’s sister…


Toad

Shudder.

A 2lb toad. Blech.


Family

Attending my parent’s 40th wedding anniversary over the weeked was a very odd experience. It all went well, don’t get me wrong, but it was still strange.
Most of it, really, is down to just the way my family is. We’re not really a close family in many ways, and while I do stay in (fairly) regular contact with my parents (a phone call every couple of weeks, usually) and my brother (a text message every couple of weeks, and we see each other about once a year, usually) I don’t see the rest of them from one year to the next. And usually less than that.
So seeing pretty much all of them at once was deeply weird. And trying to remember names in order to introduce them to Herself was, frankly, a process that was always pretty well doomed. I got so many wrong, mainly by giving them the names of their siblings, which isn’t as bad as it could be (calling one great-uncle by the name of the other great-uncle, now deceased for three years was about as bad as it got – but still pretty bad!) but still fairly galling and embarassing.
The very strange ones, though, were my cousins, who (we worked out) I hadn’t seen in about ten years, if not more. Time flies, and all that crap. Having at least one complete stranger come up to me, know my name, know the basics of what I’d been up to, and having NO clue who they were at all – only for my brother to later confirm that he was one of my cousins – was pretty much the high/low point of the day. Mind you, at least I was honest, and said to him that I hadn’t a clue who he was – although I dont think he believed me.
But it made me think a lot about family, and about my role within it. I can’t deny, I’ve always been pretty much the black sheep of the lot, the one who’s not in touch, and has no intention of changing that. But at the same time, it now feels kind of weird to be so out of touch with my relatives. All the cousins now have partners, and in a couple of cases children – but I couldn’t tell you their names if my life depended on it. Only one comes to memory, and that’s because it’s a bloody horrible name, for which the kid will most likely be soundly beaten throughout his school days. As for the various partners, nope, not a clue.
I couldn’t tell you what the various birthdays are, or ages – hell, I have to make an effort to figure out my brother’s age (30 next year – heh) – nor could I tell you even where most of them live. Yeah, OK, I know the towns where they live, but addresses? Forget it.
And yet they all seem to know what I’m up to, where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing, and the like. I assume my mother must do some information dispersal about that, but it’s still weird, where they know what I’m doing, and I don’t know (and, to be honest, don’t really care) what they’re doing from one year to the next. Or indeed in some cases from one decade to the next.
Still, it all went OK, and it meant I got to take a fair number of photos as well ( willing / unknowing audiences are great) which I’ll also get prints of, and send them to the parents. Well, once I’ve edited them, and got rid of the crap ones. (I know there’s a couple of those, for sure)


Making an Impression

Well, that’s the backlog caught up with.

Fairly impressive, blitzing a weeks worth of outstanding work in one day – it’s made an impression on the people here, anyway. Also, it’s amusing (to me) to note that people who’re used to contacting me and getting stuff done on the day have lodged complaints with senior people about how long it takes for their requests to be handled when I’m not in the office…

(I know, I know, I’ve written about this before – but all the same, it’s nice to have proof, rather than just the raging ego of one’s own suspicions and thoughts)


Back to Work

Well, after ten days away, I’m now back in the office.

As such, most of today is going to be spent catching up on stuff, and dealing with a backlog of jobs. Grand…


Mileage

In the ten days since picking up the car, we’ve already put 1,500 miles on the damn thing. Impressive, particularly as the warranty from the sellers is for 3,000 miles, or 3 months.

Ah well, all part of the fun. Mind you, I don’t think I’ve got any other big journeys in the diary for at least a couple of weeks now…


Forty Years

Today, we’re at a family thing back in the town I grew up in. It’s my parent’s wedding anniversary – amazingly, they’ve been together for forty years now.
I find that really quite amazing – don’t get me wrong, I’m really pleased for them – but bloody hell, forty years. To me, that’s damn scary, just the idea of being with one person for that long. Maybe it’s just something you eventually grow into, I don’t know.
Still, fair play to them, they’ve stuck together and done a pretty good job of it. It fuddles my brain, but that’s fine too.


Identity

One of the things I thought about back when I first started D4D™ was the identity I used in it. I specifically didn’t want it linked with my given name, and I didn’t want people to be able to find D4D™ just by Googling for my name. I knew I could be pretty acerbic (hey, who’d have thought?) and that if D4D™ took off, I didn’t want it to be able to rise up and bite me on the arse in the future. Yeah, sure, if someone does a bit of delving, it’s not all that difficult to find my ‘real’ name, but at the same time it’s not all that easy, either.
In that aim, I’ve been pretty successful. I used an identity that had been around for a fair while already – which is a whole other story – and went with it. And in some ways it’s almost been too successful. It’s now not uncommon, depending on who I’m with, to be called ‘Lyle’ to my face – slightly bizarre, to say the least. I’m used to it – and believe me, it’s a strange thing to get used to, but it happens.
But I am used to it. I’ll answer to both. And in fact even my ‘real’ name isn’t the one I was born with. That one is one I hate- primarily because it’s a name with multiple spellings, and n-one ever got it right. When I first applied for a passport, and had to get a copy of my birth certificate, even when the people creating the copy birth certificate with a form in front of them with it correctly spelled managed to fuck it up. And that really was the final straw. I was already being known by the name I’d adopted, and it was on my bank account, mail addresses and the like, so I was able to include a letter with the passport application that said

“Look, this is my true given name, but even the register-office people can’t spell it correctly. This is what I’m known as, and I include proof of that. If you absolutely have to do the passport in my given name, fine, I’ll live with it – but please, save me ten years of hassle where booked flight tickets don’t match with passport name, and if possible do the passport in the name I’ve adopted”

And they did. No-one was more amazed than me, admittedly, but they did it. And that’s the name I’ve used ever since.
Yes, sure, it causes some weirdness – particularly when I meet someone I went to school with, or extended family. But – again – I’m used to it now, and those occasions are both (thankfully) now quite rare. (Although I do have one of those family things tomorrow – but more about that on the day, I think)
Recently, though, the entire Lyle thing has risen up and bitten me on the arse a little bit.
You see, for obvious reasons, the company I run for web design and the like is in my real name, and so is the stuff I do for photography and the like. And because of the seperation I keep, it means I can’t link from, say, D4D™ to the photography site while saying “Hey, this is my stuff, and my site – good, innit?”, and the like.
It’s a weird situation – and I can’t complain too much, because it’s entirely self-created, even if for sane, sensible reasons. Some people do know me in both identities (for want of a better phrase) – and a couple know me in all three, which is really confusing – and I’m wholly and continually thankful to them for indulging my little identity foibles, and keeping it all seperate. It must be almost as weird for them as it is on occasion for me.
The situation will stay like this, though – as the business I run does better, and that side of my life grows and grows, it’s something that becomes more and more essential. I’m pretty certain, though, that this is it – I don’t plan to start off any other identities, the current level is enough for me.


Dropping Calls

Sometimes you just have to wonder how people have managed to live so long.

It’s amazing to me, the number of people who still seem amazed that calls to/from their mobile phones drop out when they’re on the train. Every time the call drops, they take the phone away from their face, and look at it in amazement, as if it’s never happened to them before. Ever. Not even ten seconds ago.

And even then, they don’t get the concept. They call back, start talking again, and bong, the call drops. You’re in an area of shit reception, you moron – it won’t change in the space of ten seconds. (OK, in fairness, it might – but the odds aren’t good, let’s be honest) As always, it’s not rocket science – but it might as well be.

Even more traumatic, of course, is when they call back, and the phone won’t connect. It has no reception, you moron – look at the little icon with the radio mast, it’s got no fucking bars on it! But that’s a horrific concept straight out of the eighteenth century, isn’t it. No mobile coverage? Where are we, the moon? No. Norfolk. The county that motorways forgot.


Mondeo Man.

The car? Oh, that’s fine. The drive both to and from Devon was fine, and there’ve been no problems with it at all.

Well – that’s not strictly true, but the two problems we did have were so minor, it’s hardly worth commenting on. But all the same, I will…

First, the power-socket (AKA Cigarette lighter, except neither of us smokes, so it’s just a power socket) in the centre console was knackered, and I didn’t realise. Obviously it’s one of those things, and the car’s three years old, so hey ho. But we didn’t realise until the TomTom satnav started bleating that its battery was low, once we’d done a six hour drive with it plugged in to the power socket. Oops.

Still, it’s been fixed now (a quick visit to the local Ford dealership, and one fuse later, all sorted) so that should be fine. That little bit may eventually need replacing, if it keeps on coming adrift (it was loose as well as no power going to it) but for now it should be fine. Even better, it somehow didn’t cost me anything – not quite sure how that worked out, but hey ho, I won’t complain.

Second, well, we got stuck on a single-track road in Devon, and I had to reverse the car back down to the nearest passing place. (the other driver was in a Ford Ka, and obviously far more local, but wasn’t going to move one fucking jot) Unused to the length of the car, I got it wrong, so the nearside rear wheel arch and bumper now have a bloody great scrape along them where I interfaced the car with a wall.

I haven’t yet decided whether I’m going to bother getting it repaired. I probably should (and the brother-in-law – well, brother-in-semi-law – is going to recommend it, I know) but it’s not serious, and I can’t be chuffed. Besides, it was always going to happen at some point, so *shrug*, I dunno yet what I’ll do. It’s not serious, and its not affecting anything, so pah.

But little things like that aside, it’s proving (so far) to be a good buy. And we’ve already put nearly 1,000 miles on the poor bloody thing.


Early return

So yes, as some observant people will have noted, we’re already back in civilisation. Well, Norfolk, anyway.

The break was OK, but did get curtailed early for a couple of reasons. First of those was bloody horrible weather, which shows no real signs of abating. Secondly, the place we’d picked was OK, but just not what we’d expected. By a long way. So rather than coming home more stressed and pissed off than we already were, we elected to leave early, and come home, having a holiday at home instead. Expensive option, but well, better than enduring a week that one or both of us wasn’t enjoying.

So that’s what we did.


Wroking wtih Lysdexics

One of my work colleagues is dyslexic – or just a lazy speller/typer, I can’t decide which.

A perfect example of her messages to me is this one :

the browses upload thnag ain’t workoign for me today so i’ve copied to T:\phase1 let me kno wif you need any more info on this CHeers

Good, innit? I just wish I’d made any of it up…


More Mobile

One of the things that is likely to happen more now I’m among the car-ownng fraternity is that I plan/hope to get out more with the camera. Of course,it’ll probably also mean that I’ll go out more with Hound – which I can’t see her complaining at, except when I yell at her to get out the fucking way, as she’s in the bloody photos again.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve been held back from doing this sort of thing while we’ve only had the one car – although for some strange and yet-to-be-analysed reason, I really don’t like leaving Herself carless for periods of time. So if anything I’ve held myself back, and I can’t even satisfactorily explain why – which is never good.
But now I’ve got my own car, I think/hope that’ll change a bit. I know I want to go out more, although of course there’s still the “minor” issue of motivation, as I’ve already written about this week.
Still, it’s certainly part of the current plan, to be able to go out more – particularly in the early mornings and/or late evenings, and get some of the photos and images that are currently floating round in my head. There’s ideas for specific shots, but also (pardon me while I sound like an advertising maven) concepts for sets, series, and themes of shots that’ll make for interesting projects.
Long-term, I hope that some of them can be seen as commercial sets and entities – that’s most certainly the plan – but they’ll all involve a fair dollow of work beforehand. Mind you, they wouldn’t be any fun if they didn’t.


DIY

One of the more fun things about my current workplace’s blatant inefficiency has involved the (further) extension of my contract.

Because the people involved are utterly disorganised, inefficient, and have more feet than clues about the business, I’ve even ended up writing my own contract extension documents. Then all I did was ask them to sign it, and I’ve sent it on to the umbrella company.

You know, if I were less honest, I could’ve added – oooh, I dunno, a zero to my day rate, or something – I doubt they’d have even noticed.

But I’ve been good. For once.


Weight Loss

When I had my medical a couple of weeks back, (which reminds me, I really must write about what fuckwit scumbags Friends Provident areHell, and most people who read D4D™ on any kind of regular basis) know, I’m never going to qualify as a lightweight. Or even a middleweight. Unless I opt for at least a double-amputation, I will always be large, and heavy. It’s unavoidable.
Back at the start of ’06, I did lose a fair amount of weight, admittedly – about three or four stone. I felt a lot better for it, and I managed to keep most of it off. But when the doctor weighed me, I was 21 stone. (That’s about 133kg, for the metric among you) Nowhere near what I used to be (roughly 24 stone) but heavier than I’d expected to be, if I’m honest.
So when all’s said and done, yes, I know I should lose some of that, and at some point I probably will. But right now, I’m just at a point where I can’t be chuffed to do it. Some of it is down to the entirely crap experiences with Holmes Place at the arse-end of last year, which has left me with a pretty negative perspective on the entire fitness, gym, and health-club thing.
Some of it is down to the way everything else in life is going at the moment as well. In short, it’s chaotic – there’s the move, the house-purchase, the wondering what to do next when it comes to work (of which more later in the week) and more importantly the where of that work, and it all just puts the gym and weight-loss things into perspective at the ‘lalalalalala-can’t hear you’ end of the spectrum.
But really, when all’s said and done, and if I’m being completely honest, at the moment I just can’t be bothered with it. I’ve no heavy motivation to lose the weight, and I’m having trouble finding any motivations. Again, if I’m honest, I’m not actually looking all that hard, either.
Even the life insurance and so on that caused me to hae the medical in the first place isn’t a sufficient motivator – at the end of the day, when they decide my premium should go up because I’m a fat bastard, that’s what the premium will be. They won’t change it in a couple of years time, if I’ve lost the weight. Even if I baffled medical science and dropped down to my so-called ideal weight of 13.5 stone, the premium wouldn’t change. I’d still be paying fat-bastard-rate, regardless. Hardly a motivator, is it?


Blackhawk

Bizarre sight on the train journey home the other night – a bloody great Sikorsky Blackhawk helicopter, just hovering over the woods.

I know that we go through STANTA, (The Stanford Training Area) as well as having both RAF Mildenhall and RAF Lakenheath around – which also goes to explain the number of F15s flitting about the place and flying over the house, as well as Chinook helicopters and the like, but all the same, I think it was still the first time I’d seen a Blackhawk in use.

*shrug* I know, it’s of absolutely no interest to anyone else, but well, I thought it was cool. *grin*


Posters

I’ve written before about the office’s wonderful (if bizarre) Health and Safety initiatives, including the ‘caution: wet floor’ signs you can trip over and the signs on the stairs warning that there may be people on them.

Over the last few days, there’ve been a spate of new posters going up all over the place, warning about slips, falls, dangerous areas and the like. Most of them have images of x-rayed broken hands and the like.

All of these posters have been laminated, and stuck to the walls with dodgy knackered blu-tac stuff. So they fall off the walls again. Because of the subject matter, they’re all in ‘high-traffic’ areas, like the stairwells, communal areas, and the like.

I’m just waiting now for someone to slip on one of these posters and come skating down the stairs, doing themselves a nasty injury along the way. I will laugh – not at the person who’s fallen, but at the concept of the Health and Safety signs being dangerous in certain situations…


Away

From today, we’re away for a week.

First of all, though, we get to go and pick up the new (well, new to me/us) car, now it’s also been insured.

Once it’s been collected, come back home, pack up the car, and then leave to go down to Devon. Oh, on the way, we also have to pick up a new supply of happy pills for Hound.

Anyway, while we’re away, D4D™ will still have updates, as I’ve been writing a bundle of posts just for you, my beloved readers. They’re larger/longer than usual, so that should keep up the wordcount too.

Enjoy.


All Happening

In a fit of chaotic timing, I’ve got an interview this afternoon. In fact, due to the joys of post-dating things, I’m there now.

Initially it was arranged for next week, but of course that wasn’t going to happen. So instead it got brought forward to today. Should be interesting!


Changing Workflow

While we’re away next week, I’m aiming to start getting used to the RAW format for photos. I know the camera will take RAW and JPG images simultaneously, so that’s going to be the initial stage.

As for processing those .RAW images, I’ve just downloaded a trial edition of Phase One‘s software, Capture One LE, which should be interesting. I’ll install it on the laptop, so it’s away with me, and then just see how it goes.

I’ve written before about my feelings with regard to RAW vs. JPG, but I’m slowly coming round to the idea that maybe I do need to do some work with RAW files as things progress. So we’ll just have to see how it goes – I suspect that the learning curve may be rather cliff-like, but it’ll give me something new to do…


Contracts

Hallelujah.

After eight weeks of chuffing about, we’ve finally got the contracts through for the house purchase.

They’ll get signed and sent back this week, so we’ll hopefully be exchanging before the end of the month. Yay!

It’s still a bit of a scary step, but at the same time I can’t deny, I’ll just be happy when it’s all over and done with.


Insured

I have to say, I’m really rather impressed with Tesco’s car insurance.

First of all, because I’ve been a named driver on Herself’s policy, it worked in a way similar to a no-claims bonus (which I don’t have) and meant that my insurance was shedloads cheaper with them than with anyone else I looked at.

Second, I needed to get a copy/confirmation of the policy over to the place I bought the car before I go and collect it, so that they can sort out the six month’s road tax, and all tht guff. And while they initially managed to get the relevant fax number wrong (twice) once they’d got the number right, everything went through fine.

And yesterday all the paperwork came through, after having organised it on Saturday. So I’ll have that with me as well when I go to pick the thing up tomorrow.

Now maybe this is just the norm for insurance companies, I don’t know. But for now, well, I’m impressed.


Late Amendments

Gah, there are times when I’m such a twonk, it’s unreal.

I’ve just redone some things on my photography portfolio site, having decided (once I’d uploaded a whole bundle of photos at one size) to change the image sizes so that the site looks better. And now, having re-uploaded all the photos that were there before, and some extra ones as well, something else has just occurred to me.

Fortunately, this one isn’t likely to involve me having to redo all the uploads, and I can change things around primarily using PHP.

But it’s still one of those blinding moments of “Ah! That’s an idea! Why didn’t I think of it earlier?” that can be awesomely annoying, even when they are a good idea, even if it’s one I should’ve had like two months ago.


Banking

Once we come back from holiday, I’ve decided it’s going to be time to look at opening a new bank account (again) for my own business. Up ’til now it’s been (in general) small enough that I can get away with being paid through my own current account, but with the general progress in how things are coming along, I think it’s coming towards that time when actually yes, I need to have a business bank account.

However, I’m absolutely not going to start off with a ‘proper’ business account – by which I mean one for a limited company, with all the bullshit and hassle that involves- directors, double signatures, company secretary, blah blah blah.

Instead, I’m going to aim to set up purely as a sole trader for the moment, and only grow/move on as and when I need to. That seems to be the best plan, anyway.

Going the ‘sole trader’ route does carry slightly more risk, in that in theory I could run up debts and my own posessions could be taken to repay those debts. But I don’t plan to be borrowing any money or anything – and so the possibility of debts being run up is hugely reduced.

But anyway, that’s the way my head is currently working, and the direction I currently plan to go in. We’ll see how I feel after the holiday, but I suspect that it will only strengthen my plans and resolve.


Crosswords

When I’m travelling on the train, at least once a week I sit near a person who does various crosswords. They’re nothing heavily brain-straining (Actually, that’s just my estimation of the things – I’m sure other people do find them more difficult) as we’re talking about the crosswords in magazines like ‘Take A Break’, ‘Bella’, or whatever.

Anyway, what makes me think every time is that this person gets out a crossword-solving thing (Kind of like this device) where they type out the letters they’ve got, and it returns a list of possible words. And they do this for a good three-quarters of the crossword.

Now maybe this is just me, but where’s the fun in that? If you’re going to do the crossword, fine, do the crossword. If you’re at the end, and completely stumped, fine, use something that’s supplemental to your own vocabulary, brain and/or literacy level.

But somehow using something like that device to answer all the questions, rather than figuring them out for yourself, well I don’t know, but to me that just seems like cheating. But maybe that’s just me, I don’t know.


Bizarre Amnesia

At work, one of the passwords is a combination of eight random letters, both upper and lower case ( for example AbCDefGH ) – although it’s not that, obviously.

Within a week of coming here, I found I could remember the combination easily, without need to refer to anything, and that’s how things have progressed for the last five months.

Yesterday, I had to write an ‘idiots guide’ to the procedure that involves that password, and for some bizarre reason, I wrote down the wrong one. I’d mis-remembered it in a non-normal context.

But then could I recall the right one, even when it was back in the context of the procedure? Could I buggery.

For the first time in five months, I had to refer back to the original documentation (and find it, first) – all because I’d had to write it somewhere else. It utterly fuddled my brain. Most bizarre.

Oh, and today it’s back in my head just fine. Go figure.


Best Subject Line. Ever

I just got an email (a spam one, obviously) with this as the title

Inhaler Penguin

Now for some reason I just think that’s great.


Notification

In the course of my current work, I use laptops a lot. I suppose desktop machines may do this too, but I don’t know – the one I use at home doesn’t really have that problem.

Anyway – whenever I turn on the laptop (whether my own, or the one at work) in the office, it’ll flag up a little notifier in the bottom-right hand corner of the screen saying something about “Unable to detect any wireless networks”.

Now, fair enough, I don’t mind it telling me that it can’t find the network. What really annoys me though, is that – particularly in the case of the work laptop – I have wireless networking switched off at the hardware switch. It’s not operating. Full stop. There’s no wireless network in the office, so it’s pointless having the damn thing turned on.

But Windows is unable to detect that actually, there’s no active hardware for finding a wireless network – so there’s no flaming chance at all of discovering that network. But it still flags up the message, every bloody day. I know there’s no wireless networks found, because the bloody sodding wireless network card is turned off, you stupid, stupid machine.

Grrrrr.


Shhhh

Yes, so, yesterday went a bit quiet.

Basically, we went off to Holkham, and walked Hound for two hours on the beach. It was a beautiful day, and so we just ended up sodding about, walking Hound, knackering her out completely, doing some sociable stuff and some organisational stuff at home, and I just couldn’t be chuffed to log on.

But it was a great day.


Rep-tastic

Well, there we go. I’m now a car owner.

Talk about practical – it’s a Ford Mondeo, 2 litre turbo diesel, estate. All the standard bells and whistle, 56,000 miles. I know, it’s a pretty standard car, nothing glamourous, but at the end of the day, I want it to be able to get me from A-B repeatedly for the next couple of years. This thing should do that, and then some.

And I got it for the princely sum of £6,950, including 6 month’s road tax, 12 month’s MOT, and two new rear tyres.

I pick it up on Friday, and then we go off on holiday down to Devon in it. That should let us know if there’s anything wrong with it!


Cars and Stuff

I promise, I absolutely promise I’m not going to become a car bore. Promise.

But anyway – for today, before I go off and most likely buy something, a few things.

  • Thanks to those who made comments yesterday – the feedback was much appreciated
  • No, I won’t buy a BMW. I doubt I ever will. Don’t like them, and don’t like a large majority of the people who do drive them.
  • No, I most likely won’t buy anything French, Jann. Although I do love the Laguna 2 Estate (sorry, Sports Tourer) it’s currently way outside my practical budget
  • I’m taking all the costs into consideration, believe me. Anything I’ve prospectively looked at, I’ve been checking what the insurance will cost, and wading through vehicle licensing bollocks in order to attempt to figure out what road tax it’d be likely liable for
  • I’m working to a budget and payment method – it’s one that works for me, and means I’m not screwed financially, nor lumped in to 18% APR finance deals for 3 years, or whatever. Which, to me, sounds like the best option
  • The type of car I’m looking at is disturbingly practical. Gone are the days when a little two-seater coupe or whatever would’ve been of any interest at all. (Actually, if I’m honest, they were never really there in the first place. But well, you get the drift)
  • Unfortunately, all the cars I’d really like to have are currently way outside the budget. Also, well, it’s a first car, so getting something I’d really like is unfeasible.
  • Thank God for being a named driver on a Tesco car insurance policy already – it’s saved me a hefty whack compared to most other places

And that’s it for now.


Ponky

I don’t know what someone (I suspect it was the guy opposite me, but I’m not certain) on the train had been eating last night, but fuck me dead, they smelled nasty.

This particular someone had farts that could stun a donkey at 50 paces – they smelled like something that’d crawled out of the colon of a long-dead dung-eating mammoth. Truly, truly unpleasant.

Of course, they may have been improved slightly by the addition of warm air in the train carriage, and the fact it’s a pretty much sealed environment. But bloody hell, it was unpleasant.


Automotive

So, this coming weekend it looks like I’m finally going to become the owner of a car. How scary is that?

Up ’til now I’ve been able to resist such a thing. Firstly because I didn’t drive (’til eighteen months ago, give or take) and then because, well, I still didn’t need one of my own. If I did need one of my own for anything (like going away for the weekend, say) I hired one.

But now, it’s (hopefully) coming close to the time when we move to the new place, out in the arse-end of nowhere. No, not Norfolk – we’re there already. But this is more ‘arse-end of nowhere, even for Norfolk’, which is a pretty scary concept in itself.

But that also means that yes, it’s time to buy a car. So I’m off to see and test-drive a couple I’ve got my eye on over the weekend, and we’ll see what happens. In the meantime, well, be afraid. Be very afraid…


Avoidance Tactics

I have to say, I’m occasionally rather glad that I usually come in to work by train, rather than driving in.

This is one of those times.


Changing Lanes

I know, I know, every time I rent a car, I end up having a rant about bad drivers.

And this time is no different, you’ll be pleased to know.

But for once it’s not about those tossers who sit in the middle lane and never fucking move.

No, in this case it’s all based around roadworks. Now I suspect the roadworks is something that most people could rant about – particularly the fact that you can go past entire sets of roadworks and not see one single bloody person is working, or even visible.

But what gets me – unsurprisingly – is certain people’s driving ability. Or lack of.

I just don’t understand the mind-set that comes up when one lane is closed – and signposted as such from a good two miles off – and people still drive right to where the lane is coned off before trying to pull in to the still-open lane. It screws up the traffic flow, and leads to those self-same tailbacks that they’ve just cruised past. Cunts. But of course, that’s not their problem, so long as they’ve managed to get past all the other drivers.

Mind you, it’s bloody funny when some smeghead scrote BMW driver who’s gone roaring past everyone is then blocked entry by all those same drivers…


Ooops

Now this is enough to make any man cry. Well, that and snigger smugly too. Schadenfreude (and Month of the Bastard) is alive and well, after all.

A beautiful Bugatti Veyron crashed into a tree. Personally, I couldn’t ever spend £800,000 on a car – but all the same, the owner of it must be bloody livid right about now.


Cunts (Missing in Action 4)

Well, it’s established – Ticketmaster are utter, utter cunts.

Thank you for your email.

The tickets you have received are part of an event that is general admission and as such the event has a limited capacity, which is set by Health and Safety. Ticketmaster is unable to issue duplicate tickets for this event as it may cause the event to go over capacity, as we are unable to cancel the original tickets, therefore they can still be used.

This is a decision that is made by the individual venue and Ticketmaster as an agent has to adhere to this. If the venue goes over capacity, the venue could lose its license, which could jeopardise all future events, due to this we cannot re-issue your tickets.

Ticketmaster’s policy is that once a booking has been confirmed, it cannot be exchanged or refunded unless the event is cancelled. So unfortunately we cannot issue you with a refund of the cost of the tickets. Due to these reasons i have passed on a request to our customer service department to contact Secure Mail to investigate this situation. In doing this we will try and make a claim against Secure Mail to refund your booking.

Our representative from customer services will contact you as soon as possible regarding the outcome of the investigation.

I am sorry i cannot help you any further.

So – you ordered tickets, we sent them to the wrong address, where they were signed for by someone obviously not you. That’s your fault. You should’ve known that we’d use a courier ‘service’ (I use that term as loosely as possible) instead of using recorded delivery royal mail like we did for the Massive Attack tickets (which, funny enough, came straight to me, no problem at all) and gone back to your old address for the day when we were going to deliver them.

A refund? Fuck off. It’s all your fault.

And I suppose it is. After all, I ordered using Ticketmaster. My mistake. But believe me, I’ll never make the same mistake again, you cunts.


Catching Up

Over the weekend, I had quite a strange experience.

Many moons ago (Many, many, many moons ago) I worked at a hotel in Rugby, Warwickshire. Every so often, I’ve thought about getting back in touch with the people who’d been there, or alternatively just going back for a revisit. (Yes, I’ve thought about revisiting other ex-workpaces as well, but haven’t previously mentioned this one)

Anyway, when I got to the hotel I was staying at on Saturday, I leafed through a magazine that was in the room about good food and drink in the area – and in there, the general manager of the Rugby hotel has a column. It turned out that he was working for another hotel in the area – well, about 40 minutes away from where I was.

So on the Sunday morning, I drove over, on the off-chance. I figured why not, I’m in the area, blah blah.

Anyway, it turned out that he’d left just before Christmas – but then his father, who had been the owner of the one in Rugby, walked in instead. He owned this place too, and so his son had been the general manager. But we caught up, and talked for about half an hour all told.

It was a really pleasant time, and was something I’m glad I did. But all the same, weirder than weird!


Missing in Action 3

An update, an email from the idiots at Ticketmaster…

Thank you for your email.

Given the nature of your request it has been forwarded to our Customer Service Department for further investigation. However, this sometimes requires assistance from third parties, such as promoters and venues and may take a little longer to look into.

We are grateful for your co-operation, as every effort is made to reach a satisfactory outcome for you. We will contact you with a response as soon as possible.

The gig’s tomorrow. So whatever happens, the outcome ain’t going to be satisfactory…


Sick Building

I can’t say I’m overly surprised to see that Barclaycard are closing their call centre in Manchester’s city centre.

When I (very briefly) worked there back in 2003 or so, it was a horrible place – built in the 50s/60s, with no air-conditioning or ventilation to speak of, with sides made of huge blocks of glass. In short, it was a sweatbox, and a demoralising one at that.

Updating the building would’ve cost millions, and probably still not been overly successful. So no, it’s not really a surprise.


Missing in Action 2

Well, I’ve chased up the incompetent tossers at TicketMaster about the tickets for Nine Inch Nails tomorrow.

They’ve used a bunch of tosswad arseholes called SecureMail to deliver the tickets. SecureMail don’t have any on-line method of tracking deliveries, so that’s really fucking helpful. But when I spoke to them, they insisted the tickets had been delivered. In January. To our old address, despite having changed the address details with Ticketmaster in December. And apparently I signed for them. Which is really impressive, as I hadn’t been there during the week since October 1st, and we hadn’t even lived there for two months at that time.

And their response? Effectively, “Not our problem, we delivered the tickets”.

Just to the wrong address, to the wrong person. Great.


MOTB #3

Last night on the train…

Announcer on the train’s PA system : Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the train for Norwich, stopping at Brandon, Thetford, Attleborough, Wymondham and Norwich.
Idiot, having listened to the announcement : Excuse me, is this the train for Birmingham?
Yours Truly : Yes, I think so.

Month of the Bastard is turning into real fun…


Hire and Return

I took the rented Peugeot 407 back today – it’s been a good weekend, and all told that car had about 600 miles added to it, which it handled on one tank of diesel – not bad at all.

While I’ve enjoyed driving it, and it’s made my life a lot easier over the weekend, I have to say that I don’t think I’d actually buy one. I’m not even completely sure of why, which is annoying – it’s been a fun drive, and it’s a fantastic car, but something just didn’t click somehow. I wish I understood myself sometimes.

When I was at the office on Friday, I asked what they’d decided to let me play with this time, to which the answer was “Well, you’ve had the Laguna already, so we decided to give you this one instead.”

Anyway, when I took it back, they asked how it’d been. I said it’d been great fun, and was an enjoyable car to drive. At which point the guy smiled, and said “Yeah, we thought you’d like that one“.

I’ve been going there too often, obviously, but that really is some good customer service…


Forward Thinking

Later in the month, we’re going to be on holiday for a week, in deepest darkest Devon.

So over the next couple of weeks, as well as doing the normal D4D™ posts, I’m also writing others that can go up while we’re away.

How sad is that?


Missing in Action

You know, I’m beginning to think I’m cursed when it comes to gigs – particularly at Brixton Academy.

Last time I was supposed to go, to see Massive Attack, it snowed, and I didn’t go.

This time, I’m supposed to be going to see Nine Inch Nails next Wednesday, only I haven’t yet received the ticket from cunty fucking Ticketmaster. Yeah, sure, I’ve moved since I ordered the tickets, but I’ve also registered that change of address with the useless bastards, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

Yesterday it took me half an hour just to get to, fill in, and send the form to ask where my tickets are. I still haven’t heard back. Useless fuckers. The site has been ‘improved’ and now lags to chuff, blows up the browser, and is generally now just as broken as Ticketmaster’s ‘service’ in the first place. So I suppose that at least it’s representative…

So far, the odds of me seeing NIN are emphatically not good. I stand to be signally unimpressed…