Lost and Found
Posted: Wed 24 February, 2010 Filed under: Domestic Leave a comment »Back in about July/August last year, I lost my watch. I’d got no idea where I’d left it, no clues where it might be. We’d looked everywhere in the house that I could think of, in the car, even tried some of the places I’d been in that time period, all with no luck.
While it’s nothing super-special, it was a watch I’d liked, a Seiko Kinetic thing. It had cost me a decent amount of money (around £175-£200 at the time, less than a days wages) and was basically a memento to myself of completing one of my first big contracts in Manchester. I’d earned that watch.
Since then, while I’ve still used my other watch (A Skagen thing of beauty) I’ve kind of got used to not wearing one, and instead using my phone’s clock, or the one on whichever computer I’m using at the time.
Last night, while moving the sofa (because the new one’s being delivered today) we took all the cushions off the damn thing. And there, in a section where no-one ever sits, right in the join of back and base, was my watch.
It’s back on now. In that six months or so of being down the sofa, it hadn’t lost any time, hadn’t lost the date, and still worked fine.
Now I just need to get re-used to the weight on my wrist. But that’ll be worth it too. While I could live with no longer having the watch, I’m much happier to have it back.
Delivery
Posted: Tue 23 February, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Getting Organised Leave a comment »Back in January, we ordered a new suite. The old one is/was still OK, but it’s proved to be somewhat less than practical where we are now. The Christmas period proved this, when we had my family here, and the sofa was large enough to be used, but not actually practical.
So it was time for a change.
It’s being delivered tomorrow, which means tonight we’ll be moving the old sofa out. That should be entertaining – if memory serves, it’s just able to get through the doorways. But it might involving taking the door off, I don’t know. Don’t think so, but we’ll see.
Tomorrow the delivery people will drop the new one off in the correct room, so getting the new bits in is their problem rather than ours.
I’m looking forward to the change – although I think it’s going to stress the animals out no end. But it’ll be good, I’m sure.
Blindsided
Posted: Mon 22 February, 2010 Filed under: Driving, People, Weather 2 Comments »This morning the weather while driving was truly fucking foul – icy, heavyish snowfall (heavy for the UK anyway) and a few dollops of fog to just top it off.
And yet still there was a significant percentage of drivers who didn’t have any lights on whatsoever. Well into double figures during my drive this morning. There were even more with only one working headlight, but at least they had one light working.
I simply don’t understand the logic that says “I don’t need to use lights”, although I suppose it’s something similar to the entire “Problem [x] will never happen to me”. I just think it’s another example of where people really should be done more regularly for driving without due care and attention.
Photo Project : Phase One
Posted: Sun 21 February, 2010 Filed under: Driving, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Norfolk, Photography, Travel Leave a comment »Part of my 2010 project is about getting back out with my camera – or at least trying to. And as part of that, I’m going to work on Amateur Photographer magazine’s “Amateur Photographer of the Year” competition.
The first round of it is due to be in next Friday, so I’m planning to take some time today to go out and see what I can do.
It’ll mean taking Hound out too, as I’m off to the coast – the project is about the interaction of water and land, and there are some fantastic environments for that kind of theme around here.
We’ll just have to see what comes out of the day. I hope it’s worth the time.
Actually, I’m sure it will be – even if it doesn’t come up with the results I want, there’ll be something from it.
[Update : Well, I was going to go, but then it’s chucked it down with snow. So currently re-debating the plan]
Going to a gig
Posted: Sun 21 February, 2010 Filed under: Driving, Music, Travel Leave a comment »Yesterday we went off down to London to see Depeche Mode at the O2.
It was a gig that’d been postponed from 30th May last year, due to the lead singer developing gastroenteritis, if memory serves.
I’ll write more about it when I get time, wake up, or generally get round to it.
Stinky
Posted: Fri 19 February, 2010 Filed under: News, People, Travel Leave a comment »How smelly do you reckon someone needs to be in order to get thrown off a flight?
“People were just mumbling and staring at him,” said a woman who sat near the man, according to The Guardian, a newspaper in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, where the flight originated on February 6. It was a very uncomfortable situation, she added.
Another passenger described the smell as “brutal.”
Pretty damn smelly, I’d suggest…
Cat Shaving
Posted: Fri 19 February, 2010 Filed under: Animals, Domestic 1 Comment »Recently we had the annual shaving of the cat.
He’s a Turkish Van, and we find that with the season change his winter coat starts coming out, only to clag up with the new fur underneath, leading to lumps of fur like dreadlocks. So every year, off he goes to the vets to get all the lumps cut out. And this is what he looks like today…
Script Frenzy
Posted: Thu 18 February, 2010 Filed under: D4D™, Domestic, The '10 Writing Project, Writing Leave a comment »This may be a really really bad idea, but I’ve signed up for this year’s Script Frenzy in April.
The challenge is to write 100 pages of screenplay in the 30 days of April. Should be interesting – assuming I can get my brain and motivation into gear.
Anyway, I’ve signed up, and we’ll see how it goes.
Potential Downtime
Posted: Thu 18 February, 2010 Filed under: General Leave a comment »At some point over the next week, D4D is going to be offline for a while.
I’ve had an email from my hosting company, and they’re going to be moving my account over from the current server to a new one.
With luck it’ll all run smoothly and with no hassles at all. But it might be that things go tits up for a while ’til I fix them.
We’ll see.
Weather Warning
Posted: Wed 17 February, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, News, Weather Leave a comment »All of last night we were getting told about severe weather warnings for Norfolk, that we were going to get heavy snow and ice overnight.
From this story in the EDP (Eastern Daily Press)…
The Met Office is forecasting wintry showers across the region, and has issued a severe weather warning for Norfolk and Suffolk as it believes that rain will turn to snow early on Wednesday with the risk of heavy falls at times.
Road users are being advised to plan their journeys before they set out, check the forecast and road conditions and leave extra time for their journeys if travel conditions are poor.
And this morning, this is what we’ve got…
Rhyming Slang
Posted: Tue 16 February, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism, News, Politics, Thoughts Leave a comment »On the local news just now, there was a story about Cambridgeshire county council workers protesting against cuts and job losses within the council. (We’ll currently gloss past the fact that a good 50% of the workforce for any local authority are useless workshy cunts – or at least that’s my experience of council work, anyway)
The chant that was being used by protestors was :
“Sack the bankers
Not the workers”
Which isn’t quite rhyming slang – but I assume that “sack the bankers, not the wankers” wasn’t quite the message they were trying to convey…
Membership Change
Posted: Mon 15 February, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism, Politics Leave a comment »One of the more bizarre stories this weekend was about the BNP (British National Party) voting to change its rules on membership, and allow non-whites to be members.
They’ve had to do this as part of an equality ruling – unsurprising, for a racist organisation – but still, it’s pretty damn funny.
Mind you, I’d love to now see a non-white person or two joining the BNP, just to sit in on the meetings, sit there smiling and truly fucking with their heads.
And of course when it gets to the “Send ’em back where they came from” section of the meeting, just asking them if they know how much a ticket to [town of birth] costs.
Hallmark Day
Posted: Sun 14 February, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism Leave a comment »Blah Blah, it’s the day of romance and giving money to Hallmark / Clinton Cards / Interflora.
Me, I’m sticking with the Al Capone way to celebrate…
Sporting
Posted: Sat 13 February, 2010 Filed under: News, Thoughts Leave a comment »Once more it’s time for the Winter Olympics – one of the few sporting occasions where I actually do watch some of the events – and already the luge run has claimed its first victims. Unfortunately in this case one of those lugers has died, which is never good.
I’m always in awe of the people who do the luge, skeleton and (to a slightly lesser degree) bobsleigh. Just the concept of going down a run of solid ice on what amounts to a tea-tray with blades is scary enough, let alone actually doing it.
I hope that there’s no more fatalities in the contest.
Due Care and Attention
Posted: Fri 12 February, 2010 Filed under: General Leave a comment »The A11, one of the main Norfolk roads near us, was closed for about four hours today. Fortunately neither of us were affected by it this time.
The accident was noteworthy for the sheer gobsmacking stupidity of it – a police car had stopped on the A11 to warn other drivers about a broken-down car a bit further on. Another car carrying five people ploughed into the police car, injuring the policeman as well as the five people in the second car.
Now seriously, how the hell do you manage to not see a police car – with, one assumes, lights flashing to warn other drivers – at that kind of speed? That sounds like they weren’t even braking at the time – or at least not with enough effort/time. After all, if they’d had time, they’d have been slowing down even if the outside lane were solid traffic, and would be at a stop before they get to the police car.
Really the mind boggles about how an accident like this can happen. It certainly sounds like a case of “driving without due care and attention”, rather than just a run-of-the-mill accident.
Scary stuff, knowing there’s twerds like that on the roads.
Tower Block of Commons
Posted: Mon 8 February, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, People, Thoughts 1 Comment »I’ve been watching the new Channel 4 series “Tower Block of Commons“, where politicians leave their homes and move into council estates across the country, to see the reality of the resident’s lives.
It’s not bad, as these things go, although obviously there’s some aspects that are pretty “Made for TV”. Personally I think that MPs should live in among their constituents – not necessarily in council houses, but certainly in “standard” accommodation for each ward/district/whatever. After all, how can you represent the people of your district if you don’t know what their living standards are truly like?
I also find that the priorities of the families the politicians live with are fascinating – in some cases they’ve got no carpets, live on the absolute cheapest food and so on, but still have what looks to be Sky+ boxes and widescreen TVs. There’s also the families where they’ve got the kids and so on, living on benefits, but somehow still manage to get methadone and the like.
It’s interesting to watch, in a similar way to Secret Millionaire and other programmes of a similar ilk, but still leaves you with that “made for TV” cynicism…
Captaincy
Posted: Sun 7 February, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Media, People, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »So John Terry did end up getting sacked as captain of the England Football Team and replaced with Rio Ferdinand.
Purportedly the sacking is because of Terry’s shagging around with the ex-girlfriend of a team-mate, which somehow makes it impossible to be a captain, as it’s a bad influence on the players, and the perception of the England team. Or something.
And then you get to this part of the BBC story…
Ferdinand, 31, is currently serving a four-match ban for violent conduct after only just returning to action following a three-month lay-off because of a back injury.
So, replacing a “bad influence” with someone currently serving a four-match ban for violent conduct. And that is the message we want to send out to the impressionable people who follow football and (apparently) model themselves on the behaviour of footballers.
Shagging’s a terrible thing, but violence? Oh, that‘s OK.
I really don’t understand sport/media, obviously.
Weight Status
Posted: Fri 5 February, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Health, Weight Loss Leave a comment »Last year, I was working on losing some weight, and went to the local Slimming World group with Herself in order to look at doing so.
With the way work’s been, I stopped having the time to go to the meetings back at the start of December, but pretty much kept to what we’d been doing while attending.
With things calming down a bit, we’ve started going back, and of course one of the things that had to be done was weighing-in again.
I knew I’d done OK in the interceding time, hadn’t put on too much even with the Festering Season. So it was nice to see that in that time I’d put on 2½ lbs.
I’ve still got a way to go – a long way, if I’m honest – but at least I’m doing OK, and intend to keep on doing so.
Parking – Yet Again
Posted: Wed 3 February, 2010 Filed under: Charm School, Driving, Parking 3 Comments »Another piece of residue from the weekend…
Apostrophe Question
Posted: Tue 2 February, 2010 Filed under: Literacy, Pedantry 4 Comments »One for the pedants out there (you know who you are) because for once I’m just not sure…
In Homebase over the weekend, I ended up looking at seed potato sets. I know, what a classy life. Anyway, reading the back (Hey, I was bored) I saw this…
I know that an apostrophe is used in the case of compressions (i.e. “there is” becoming “there’s”) but I’m fairly sure it doesn’t apply in the case of an abbreviation.
So to my knowledge this apostrophe is incorrect, but equally I’ve been known to be wrong on these finer points…
So – am I right? Or is this OK?
01/02/2010
Posted: Mon 1 February, 2010 Filed under: D4D™, Geeky 4 Comments »Already we’re one month into 2010. Where the hell did January go? (I know for me it went mainly in a blur of broken databases, fixing inherited ropy code and just generally fire-fighting)
Still, at least February starts with a nice palindromic date. I know, geeky as fuck. Live with it – we won’t have another one like this for another 110 years…
Longer Days, Shorter Nights
Posted: Sun 31 January, 2010 Filed under: Animals, Domestic Leave a comment »One of the things that’s been good about the end of January has been seeing the days lengthening again. I know, it’s something that happens every year, and every year I appreciate it.
Over the weekend I was able to go out and give corn to the chickens at 4.30. A couple of weeks previously it was already dark by then, and they were getting locked up for the night at that time. In the mornings when I go up to let them out before I leave for work I now don’t need to take the torch up with me in order to do so.
It’s now dark at about 5.30 or so, and getting better every day. Soon I’ll be able to see the house in daylight when I leave and when I come back. (Currently it’s OK when I leave, pitch-black when I get home)
This is A Very Good Thing.
Newsworthy
Posted: Sat 30 January, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism, Media, News, Thoughts Leave a comment »Today a lot of the mainstream media are bleating on about the England captain, John Terry. Apparently he’s had an affair, and the other person was the girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend – sources vary currently) of another player at Chelsea (Wayne Bridge, if that means anything)
Now bear in mind that I couldn’t identify John Terry in a line-up. Hell, I didn’t even know he played for Chelsea.
But I still really don’t see how this is newsworthy. Sure, he’s been a fuckwit, and being a fuckwit the the partner (or ex-partner) of one of your team-mates is even more fuckwitted. But is it news? No, not really.
The other side of it is that he’s supposedly going to lose the captaincy of England because of this – and again, I don’t quite see how the two are related. As Adrian said, it could be that the friction between Terry and Bridge would affect the team at the World Cup – assuming Bridge is on the team, and I can’t comment on that one, as I’ve no feckin’ clue. (And don’t really care, either)
To me though, it’s still not news. It’s not relevant to the world in general (it’s not like Tony Fuckbag Bliar and the Iraq War, for example) and really there’s only three or four people that are affected by it – Terry, his wife, Bridge, and the other woman. That’s it. No-one else cares.
So why is it in all the papers, and every news broadcast? Maybe I’ve missed something, I don’t know.
Creative
Posted: Fri 29 January, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, Creativity, Cynicism, Thoughts 2 Comments »When I went to see “Avatar”, I got in in time to see some of the adverts before things started – not just the trailers and ads, but the localised ones that show while people are coming in.
I don’t know how much they cost – they’re just basic flat ads with not much happening – but one caught my irritation all the same. It was for a company called Selesti, and was just a plain white page with blue text saying “We make websites”, and some contact details.
It was pretty much the dullest ad in the set – an achievement in itself – and really surprised me. For a company that’s supposed to be all creative and whizzy, the ad didn’t speak of any of that. It actually conveyed “We paid for this, but really couldn’t be arsed to do anything with it”. Even if they’d used “We Write Websites” it would’ve been better, and would’ve at least implied the connection to www. addresses/domains. But no, “We make websites”.
I wonder how much business Selesti have gained through this ad at the cinema? Even more, I wonder how much they’ve lost…
Avatar
Posted: Wed 27 January, 2010 Filed under: Media, Reviews(ish), Thoughts Leave a comment »After wanting to see it for a while, I finally went to see “Avatar” last night. I even managed to get to see the 3D version, which made it the first “Real3D” film I’ve seen.
In all honesty, I wasn’t expecting much from the film – most of the reviews I’d seen made far more of the technology and so on in the film than of the film itself – but I was pleasantly surprised. Sure, it’s a bit too long, could do with losing about 20 minutes of trite shite, and has some deeply vile sickly-sweet bits for American audiences, but overall it’s pretty damn good.
In fact probably my biggest bugbear with it was the name of the wondrous material that was being mined on Pandora – “Unobtainium”. I mean, please. It’s not unobtainable – it’s fucking difficult to get, fine. Call it “fuckingdifficultium” or something. But “Unobtanium”? Sheesh – just make up something new, don’t try for sounding cool – and miss it by a mile. I do realise there’s a cultural history for calling things Unobtainium – but for a film that’s trying to be fresh and new, it just seems to be something that harks back to the 50s/60s, an in-joke that’s just not very funny.
So yes, there’s little bits that irritate – and the occasional bit of “Look! It’s 3D!” that grates – but in general it’s actually a pretty good film.
The director, James Cameron, has brought in a number of his standard themes – particularly Evil Big Company going ahead with plans at the expense of other less capitalistic influences (survival, global dynamics etc. etc.) – which makes it quite interesting in the current situation with global warming etc., and the awareness of “Going Green”, which is itself quite a major theme of the film.
As for the effects, and the way it’s filmed, I think it probably is one of the more radical developments in film/cinema history – I found myself thinking back to it, wondering how some of the stuff was done at all. In that context, it’s remarkable – in a similar way to when “The Matrix” came out, with effects no-one had really seen before. Avatar’s the same – it’s not quite “the next thing from colour”, but it’s pretty remarkable all the same.
All told, it’s a good film. Not a great one- although that’s really what it aspires to be – but pretty good all the same.
Broken Heels
Posted: Tue 26 January, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism, Driving, Thoughts Leave a comment »While driving to/from work, I have the radio on, and currently it tends to be Radio One. (I know, I’m not in the target market, blah blah – I still can’t stand R2, and can’t currently be arsed with my own music choices) One of the tracks that seems to be always played at some point in the drive is Alexandra Burke’s “Broken Heels” , which has lyrics that drive me barmy.
The lyrics in question are
All the ladies tell their fellas we can do what they do,
We can do it even better in broken heels
And that’s rubbish.I don’t have a problem with a song about women doing stuff better than men, that’s fine. But to say “We can do it even better in broken heels” is crap. That’s saying “We can do it well in normal shoes, but we can do it even better when the shoes are broken”
What I think it should read is “We can even do it better in broken heels” – implying that even with a handicap of broken heels, they can still do the job better than blokes.
I know, I’m a) pedantic and b) need to get out more. Guilty as charged.
But saying
Hunger Games
Posted: Sun 24 January, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Reviews(ish) Leave a comment »Over the Festering Season, I read a book called “Hunger Games” by Suzanne Collins. It’s written for young adults, but has a lot of levels to the story. For me it’s a better book than Twilight (and much better than the sequels) and with a lot more ideas.
The basic premise is based in an America that’s had some un-named armageddon, and is left with twelve “Districts” ruled over by “The Capitol”, which is portrayed as a decadent seat of government while the Districts are much poorer, but all their produce goes to support the Capitol. The Hunger Games themselves are an annual televised event where a boy and girl from each of the Districts is selected by Lottery to be the Champions for the District, and are then put against each other in an arena, forced to survive and kill the others until only one winner remains.
It’s got a lot of very subversive ideas within the book, and I was really impressed by it, so I’ve also bought the second part of the trilogy, called “Catching Fire“, which I’ve just finished. Again, very subversive, continuing the themes of the evil Government that cares nothing for the people involved, just for keeping the status quo, and keeping the security of their own privileged positions.
What’s annoyed me more though is that the final part of the trilogy won’t be published ’til at least August this year. And I really don’t want to have to wait that long to find out how it all works out in the end.
Henry Rollins, Norwich UEA
Posted: Wed 20 January, 2010 Filed under: Reviews(ish) 1 Comment »I’ve been a fan of Henry Rollins for a very long time now, so seeing him doing a spoken-word gig at Norwich UEA was always something I’d be at.
Rollins is one of the hardest working people on the gig circuit – you only have to look at the schedule for this tour to realise that – which always makes it an interesting gig when he talks about his insane travelling plans, along with his life, ideas and experiences. In this gig, he talked about the fact he’s going to be playing a significant role in Season Two of Sons of Anarchy (fantastic news, in my opinion) as well as Thanksgiving, America, elections, being friends with William Shatner, giving speeches at Sonoma University in California, and travels to Saudi Arabia, Sri Lanka, Iran, China, India and many others.
I like the Rollins attitude, which was basically described as “Someone tells me a place is dangerous, I want to go there and find out for myself“. In other words, do things for yourself, don’t just believe what the media/politicians/other people tell you.
In fact that was pretty much the theme for the entire gig – some two and a half hours of it, too – to do your own thing, don’t just sit back and let other people do the talking/doing.
I’m already looking forward to the next Rollins tour.
Parking – Bury St Edmunds
Posted: Tue 19 January, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Driving, Parking Leave a comment »This time, it’s a spectacular piece of parking in the Sainsbury’s at Bury St Edmunds…
So yes, driver of S3NUM, you’ve been added to the Gallery Of Bell-ends. Congratulations.
Crunch – Finale
Posted: Mon 18 January, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Driving 2 Comments »The car is finally back in my possession. All is fine with it, it has no visible scratches, and they’ve even cleaned the inside.
It feels insanely fast compared to the POS Chevy Matiz and Avgo I’ve had for the last month.
I’m very happy to have it back. Now it just remains to see how long I can go before scratching the cocking thing.
Flat Cap
Posted: Sun 17 January, 2010 Filed under: Animals, Domestic 1 Comment »One of the jobs this weekend involved replacing the cat-flap in the back door.
During the cold-spell, the plastic of the cat-flap itself got brittle, and one part of it snapped off. Wedging it back in was fine until one of the cats went through it, at which point the sodding thing fell to the floor.
In the end we covered the gap with cardboard, just to stop the draught and preventing all the heat in the house escaping. This obviously caused some annoyance in Psycho Cat, which he demonstrated in his normal charming fashion.
We had tried a flap from another manufacturer, but that didn’t work at all. So on Saturday I went down to the local pet store, and found that they have flaps made by CatMate. They didn’t have just the spare doors (and even the online stores appear to be out of stock) so I ended up getting a complete new catflap, although we only needed the door itself.
It’s all sorted now, and the job’s complete – it’d just be nice for these things to not be such a complete faff all the time. Oh, and that flap is supposed to be unbreakable, too – so we’ll try sending it off to the manufacturers, and see what happens.
Crunch – Getting the Car Back
Posted: Sat 16 January, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Driving Leave a comment »Following on from this week’s ridiculous stuff with the car, they called late yesterday to say I should get it back on Monday.
I’m not going to believe it ’til it’s actually here, but dear Lord I’ll be pleased to have it back when it happens.
If it does come back on Monday, it’ll be exactly a month since it went in.
Centre Console
Posted: Fri 15 January, 2010 Filed under: Driving, Thoughts, Weirdness 5 Comments »One of the things that’s very odd (in my experience) with the Chevrolet Matiz I’m currently driving – but only ’til Monday, praise the Lord! – is the layout of the dashboard. The speedo, rev counter and fuel gauge aren’t in the normal place, but are instead slap-bang in the middle of the dash.
You get used to it quickly enough, but it’s still very odd initially to not have the dials in the normal place. In some ways it’s like when one of your mirrors is unavailable (whether it’s fallen off, been smashed off, or just that the car is so full of [whatever] that you can’t see out of the back window) in that you suddenly realise again how often you do check them. Until you get used to it, every time you look for the dial, it’s a little jolt ’til you remember where it actually is.
I’m not a great fan of having the dials in the centre of the dash. It’s not much different – not like you suddenly have to look somewhere completely different, or move your head/neck in order to see them or anything. But it doesn’t feel “right”. After however many years of having the dials in line with the steering wheel, having them in a different location just feels strange, and somehow “wrong”.
Visibility
Posted: Thu 14 January, 2010 Filed under: 1BEM, Driving, People, Stupidity, Weather 1 Comment »Sometimes you just sit gobsmacked at the stupidity of people…
Not seen by me, but instead featured on this story on Sky News (and other locations) with the photo provided by Devon police.
Apparently the person driving (an old woman) was told off, and given an ice scraper.
Crunch – Replacement Cars
Posted: Thu 14 January, 2010 Filed under: Driving, Thoughts Leave a comment »Since the crunch, it’s been my “privilege” to have had two replacement cars, one through bloody Enterprise and one as a courtesy car from the bodyshop.
Depressingly, both of them have been Chevrolet cars. Two or three years ago they would’ve been Daewoo cars, but they’re now all rebadged as Chevrolets.
The Enterprise car was an Avgo (and who the fuck makes up these stupid names?) which was a woefully underpowered piece of crap. 0-60 time could be measured in days, and felt like it was driving on pram-wheels rather than anything useful.
The courtesy car is the model below the Avgo, the Matiz. Amazingly, it’s even more woefully underpowered than the Avgo, and appears to have been designed by Zanussi’s washing machine department. When I open the door on it, I don’t know whether to get in or throw in a load of laundry.
Based on a sample of two, I’ve got to say, Chevrolet cars are an awesome heap of shit. I suspect they’re only bought by hire companies and the like as “lowest common denominator” vehicles. Surely no-one buys them out of choice?
Crunch – Ongoing Debacle
Posted: Wed 13 January, 2010 Filed under: Customer Services, Driving 1 Comment »The hire car got collected on Monday, and I was expecting to have my car back the same day. It’d been promised as such by the poxy bodyshop.
Only of course that’s not what happened.
They called me on Monday afternoon – well after the hire car had been collected – to say that “the computer hadn’t ordered things properly”, they were missing some parts that were needed for irrelevant shit like attaching the front bumper. So it wouldn’t be ready on Monday. No chance. Everything would be delivered on Tuesday, then they’d deliver the car to me.
Noon on Tuesday, they called to say that everything had arrived, it was all fitted, and they were going to get it cleaned before delivering it to me. Great.
Ten past noon, the manager called to say Um, actually, he’d taken my car from where it was parked to go to wherever it was for cleaning the car, and had scratched/dented the front wing on another car. Fuck me, crash damage while in the bodyshop – that’s got to be a novelty, if not a first.
Anyway, because it’s knackered, they tried getting a rental car for me, except no-one had one available. Fortunately they’ve eventually found a courtesy car for me to use – free of charge – while they finish everything off.
Even better, because they’ve made such a monumental fuckup of the entire thing, and already cost me two days off work (we’ll gloss over the entire “working from home” thing, shall we? Heh) they’re now also repairing/repainting all the other scratches I’ve built up on the car over the last three years.
So we’ll see what happens from here. I’ve got the courtesy car so I can get to and from work again. They’re currently saying it’ll be Friday now for the work to be done – I’m not holding my breath on that score, to be honest. But at least I’m back to being mobile, able to get to work and so on.
And once I do get my car back, it’ll be back to how it was when I bought it, and for no further cost than the insurance excess.
So while it’s all a bit of a clusterfuck, I think I’ll come out of it OK in the end. Fingers crossed.
Advertising
Posted: Tue 12 January, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism 2 Comments »[A response about an advert I’ve just seen]
Here’s the thing – If you need a pregnancy test that says “Pregnant” or “Not pregnant” on a display because “does it have a blue line or not?” is too complex a concept, then you’re really not ready to potentially be a parent.
Abrupt
Posted: Tue 12 January, 2010 Filed under: Agency Idiocy, Business Leave a comment »If you were to get this from an agency, what would be your response?
2 urgent PHP contracts to strart in next 2 weeks
[Skillset list – I won’t add it all here]
1 Junior and 1 mid/senior level
Thanks
And that’s it.
My written response was probably more civil than it should’ve been, because my mental response was “Up yours, fuckbag. You can’t even be arsed to put the location or rate, so fuck you.“
Getting Rid – More Stuff
Posted: Mon 11 January, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Own Business, Photography Leave a comment »As well as getting rid of the poxy hire car (with luck), we’re also getting shot of some other stuff through eBay.
Admittedly, Herself is being the driving force on it – the majority of the stuff is hers, which makes it a good reason for her being so – but we’re working on it.
The really big lot is the floor tiles – we bought enough to do the floors in all the rooms in the house, plus the extensions we initially thought we’d do. However, we’re now pretty sure we won’t be doing the extensions in the foreseeable future, and the thirty-odd remaining boxes of tiles are taking up space in the garage. So they’ve been on eBay, and we’ve already sold a third of them, with people wanting the other twenty as well.
The next big set of lots is going to be Herself’s doll’s house and furniture. Nothing’s been done with it as long as I’ve known her, and again it’s all taking up room in the garage. We’ve looked at other options before, but now it’s going on eBay, and we’ll see how it goes (or even if it goes) from there.
And my part in the proceedings? Primarily, it’s been about taking photographs of the stuff that’s for sale, working in some small way to build up my photography portfolio a bit, see how things go on that score too.
Getting Rid
Posted: Mon 11 January, 2010 Filed under: Business, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving Leave a comment »At some point today, Enterprise Car Hire are supposed to be collecting the piece-of-shit hire car I’ve had since the accident on the 17th December.
I haven’t yet collected my own car, but according to the bodyshop that should be ready for collection today, or at latest tomorrow. Let’s hope.
So far, my experience with Enterprise has been unremittingly negative. It took them two days to even deliver the sodding car, and extending the hire for a third week was an exercise in stupidity, so I’m really not expecting them to arrive here today to collect the damn thing at all. Still, that’s not my problem – so long as they don’t try charging me for extra hire days due to their incompetence/idiocy. We’ll see.
Mind you, they also haven’t yet even charged me for the third weeks’ hire, so it’s not all a failure. But we’ll see whether they get that one right too.
In short though, I really wouldn’t recommend Enterprise Car Hire to anyone. While they might be a bit more expensive, I’ll stick with Avis in future, thanks.
Update : They actually came and collected the car by 10am. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that they’re a lot more efficient at getting the car back than they are at delivering the damn thing.
Snow vs Resolution
Posted: Sun 10 January, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Health, Resolutions 1 Comment »One of my plans for 2010 is to keep on losing weight, and get myself back to the gym, see how things go.
I had planned to be going in some time over the last week, at least get started on the idea. However, the weather has kind of kicked that into touch, and will probably continue to do so this coming week.
It might sound like the weather’s an excuse – and I suppose if I were really determined, I could still go, but it’d be interesting, to say the least. The gym itself is on the outskirts of another local village, where the roads haven’t been gritted at all. But I’ve had one crunch on dodgy roads this winter, and I really don’t want to have another one – particularly while I’m still in the poxy hire car.
I will go back to the gym – but only when it’s safe to do so.
Quiet Weekend
Posted: Sat 9 January, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Weather Leave a comment »What with the weather and how work has been this year so far, we’re taking this weekend as a quiet one.
It makes sense in a lot of ways – we’ve still got a bundle of snow outside which is making driving entertaining, to say the least. (Both my experience of driving last night and this morning bears that out nicely) We’ve got enough food, don’t need anything, so don’t need to go out and do anything else this weekend.
And lo, a quiet one beckons.
Snowed In – 2
Posted: Fri 8 January, 2010 Filed under: Weather 1 Comment »One of the coolest images from the current spate of cold and snowy weather has to be this satellite shot of the UK by NASA…
And for a much bigger version (at a scale of 250m instead of the 1km scale above) you can go here, but it’s a big image. (3Mb in size)
A Vindictive Shit
Posted: Wed 6 January, 2010 Filed under: Animals, Charm School, Domestic 2 Comments »This morning, Psycho Cat excelled himself, the little fucker.
I’ve written before about his penchant for a “vindictive shit”, that when he’s displeased about something. It’s usually done somewhere unpleasant – previous examples have included in the office’s paper-recycling bin, under one of the desks, on a four-plug extension lead, on the bed (while we weren’t in it) and a couple of other places too. And then people wonder why we have tiled floors now.
Because I get up a lot earlier than Herself, I normally leave my clothes in the bathroom for the next day, get dressed in there so she can continue to sleep.
You can see where this is going, can’t you?
Yes, last night the cat – unamused by (I assume) the weather and/or the fact he couldn’t get into the bedroom (we’d closed the door) – went into the bathroom and crapped all over my clothes for today. I knew as soon as I walked into the bathroom this morning – it fucking stank – but by then all you can do is handle the fallout.
So there ended up being a load in the washing machine before 7am, and I don’t want to see the cat at all for at least a week. If I do, he might just end up in the next washing load.
Sherlock Holmes
Posted: Tue 5 January, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, Reviews(ish) Leave a comment »On Saturday we went off to see Sherlock Holmes, the new film by Guy Ritchie. In fairness, I wasn’t expecting much from it – so we were really pleasantly surprised.
Robert Downey Jr is the star, and makes a fantastic version of Holmes. A much more physical version than the classic Jeremy Brett one, but a believable one all the same – and I have to say, a version that I really liked. Jude Law as Watson is also fantastic, and the pairing of the two is fantastic, with a fairly believable interaction and relationship.
It’s quite obvious that they expect to make at least one more Sherlock Holmes film – the storyline in this one is pretty good, but does a lot of character-building and so on, ready for a larger sequel.
All told though, good fun.
Living with Terrorism
Posted: Sun 3 January, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism, Politics, Security, Thoughts, Travel 4 Comments »Over Christmas there was yet another terrorist “attack” in a plane over the US. And as a result, Fuhrer Brown has said that full-body scanners will be brought in to all the main UK airports because ‘they’re crucial in the fight against terrorism”. Which, frankly, is bollocks – the experts don’t even agree that the explosives used by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab on Christmas Day would be found by a full-body scanner.
I’ve written before about Security Theatre, and really this is all more of the same.
What makes me really laugh though is all the shite that politicians spout about doing this “because we won’t give in to terrorism”.
- Every single time you take a flight and have to take your shoes off for a search, terrorism caused it.
- Every time you go through a full-body search from now on, that’s been caused by terrorism.
- Any time you can’t take a drink or shampoo abroad, that’s been caused by terrorism.
- Any time you read about ID cards or airport security, that’s been caused by terrorism.
And actually, for pretty much all the above items, you could replace “caused by terrorism” with “caused by the threat of terrorism”. Because most of it isn’t actually related to terrorist acts – it’s related to “plots”, rather than the real thing.
Basically, if you’re travelling by plane, you’re affected by terrorism or the threat of it. Every time you’re affected, you think about why you’re being affected. And bang, terrorism wins yet again.
In fact, the only recent occasion where terrorism really hasn’t affected things (yet, anyway) was the bombings in London on the 7th July. Certainly that event has made people more aware of the risk of terrorism and suicide bombers – but it hasn’t involved extra security checks, or changes to the way we live.
So wittering on about not letting terrorists win, while adding in new pointless security measures “to prevent terrorism”, that’s terrorism winning its case.
Victimless
Posted: Sat 2 January, 2010 Filed under: Driving, News, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »Good to see that politicians haven’t made any resolutions to talk more sense…
On BBC News today, there’s a story about plans to add the £15 “victim support” surcharge to lesser offences like speeding, driving and using a mobile, shoplifting etc. According to the politicians quoted, these are all crimes “with victims”.
Under the plans, a fine of £60 for speeding, using a mobile phone while driving or not wearing a seatbelt would be increased to £75.
Government officials deny the move amounts to a stealth tax.
They argue that such offences are not “victimless crimes”, saying thousands are killed or injured on Britain’s roads every year
Now I’m sorry, but how the scrambled fuck is speeding not a victim-less crime? And while I don’t like the offence, I don’t see how driving while using a mobile actually has a victim.
In both those cases, if your speeding or use of a mobile causes an accident (or worse) then it’s not the speeding or the use of a mobile that gets charged – it’s driving without due care and attention, death by dangerous driving, or one of the other offences I can’t currently remember.
If I’m caught speeding, the “victim” is me – I’m the one penalised by the action of the crime. If I’m not caught speeding, nothing whatsoever happens. I’ve not driven away from the scene of an accident, I’ve not harmed someone else, I’ve not broken, stolen, or conned something. I’ve just got to my destination faster.
Start of a new year
Posted: Sat 2 January, 2010 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism 2 Comments »TV Adverts have a way of letting you know when Christmas and New Year are over and done with.
From yesterday, it stopped being all about perfume, CDs and gift ideas and instead became all about
- Holidays
- Stopping Smoking
- Losing Weight
January is the time for resolutions and booking holidays – can’t you tell?
Looking Back, Looking Forward
Posted: Fri 1 January, 2010 Filed under: Animals, D4D™, Domestic, Thoughts Leave a comment »As is the tradition on years with a zero at the end, I’m taking this opportunity to look back over the last ten years.
It’s strange really – in some ways, the turn into 2000 seems like only yesterday, in others you count back and realise just how much has actually happened in that decade…
Ten years ago, I was up in Manchester, in a very different relationship, working on a contract at the Equal Opportunities Commission, living in a rented house in a grim bit of East Manchester, and beginning to realise I was nearly 30. (And as an aside, that must mean I’m heading towards 40 now. Fuck.) D4D™ didn’t exist, wasn’t even a glint in the eye.
In the last ten years I’ve
- made friends
- lost friends
- written a shocking amount of rubbish here
- changed relationships (including a couple of very quiet intervening years)
- moved four times (New place in Manchester, Bracknell, Attleborough, Here)
- bought a house with Herself
- had more jobs and contracts than I care to think about
- seen the world change in many ways – not least through the impact of terrorism
- Closed a business
- Opened a new business
- Been utterly stuffed by a fuckstick accountant
- Inherited insane animals
- moved on
- stayed the same
I wonder what the next ten will bring? Lots more changes, I suspect.
Writing Project
Posted: Fri 1 January, 2010 Filed under: Domestic, The '09 Writing Project, The '10 Writing Project, Writing Leave a comment »Back at the start of 2009, I started a plan to get at least one piece of writing out the way and completed in 2009.
That plan failed spectacularly. In fact pretty much everything around my writing ideas failed spectacularly in 2009.
So I’m going to do the same for 2010.
All I actually want is to get one piece written from start to finish, get it done and ready for whatever comes next. If I can get more stuff done then even better. But just one piece, that’s all that’s being targetted right now.
00:01 01/01/10
Posted: Fri 1 January, 2010 Filed under: D4D™, Domestic Leave a comment »OK, 2010, let’s see what you’ve got in store for me.
I’m pretty much ready for you, I think.
And 2009, you can go fuck off.
Going at Last
Posted: Thu 31 December, 2009 Filed under: Thoughts 1 Comment »At last, 2009 is on its way out.
For us, it’s really not been a great year. There’s been a lot of hassle and crap along the way for both of us, and hopefully 2010 will be a lot better.
I’m not pinning all my hopes on it or anything – but there is some hope and some planning in place to make ’10 a better year than ’09.
Equally, I’m not going to witter on about it being “the end of the Noughties” or whatever. Partly because it’s not, but primarily just because it’s not relevant. It’s a new year, but it’s just another day. As per the previous post, I need to put some work into making ’10 a better year, but in some cases (work, for example) it’s more about just staying in the same place, and letting some consistency/constancy stay there.
2009’s been chaotic and hard. I just want 2010 to be a bit easier, a bit more structured.
Not An Emergency
Posted: Wed 30 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, News, People, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »As always, I despair of people’s idiocy when it comes to calling 999. (And regular posts and Twitters from Reynolds reinforce this too)
In this case, a woman calling 999 because her cat has been playing with string for two hours. I have no idea whatsoever what makes this an emergency in anyone’s mind (or what passes for a mind in this case) but I do think that anyone who thinks it’s an emergency deserve a punishment served up by a stun-gun.
Christmas Done, Easter Coming
Posted: Mon 28 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Business, Cynicism, Festering Season 3 Comments »Yet again, you can tell that the Festering Season is over and done with, the fucking Easter Eggs are in the shops!
All Done
Posted: Sun 27 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Festering Season Leave a comment »Yep, that’s Christmas over and done with for another year.
Well, another nine months, ’til it all starts coming in to the shops again.
Sleeping Hound
Posted: Sat 26 December, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Domestic Leave a comment »This is a perfect example of why sometimes it can be really funny to have Hound around, despite how fucking annoying she can be on other occasions…
Yes, fast asleep, leaning out of the basket. No good reason.
And despite the reflection of the camera flash from her eye, she was asleep. Bizarre beast.
Fixed It
Posted: Fri 25 December, 2009 Filed under: General Leave a comment »One of my guilty pleasures this year has been the site There, I Fixed It, which showcases some of the most awesome bodges and hacks around.
It’s also a spectacular showcase of the inventiveness (if occasional stupidity/weirdness) that people exhibit towards fixing problems.
Snow
Posted: Thu 24 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Norfolk, Weather 1 Comment »I didn’t get round to posting this before, but this is indicative of the amount of snow we had in our part of Norfolk.
And yes, I know, people in America and Canada (and anyone else who gets serious snow on a regular basis) is pissing themselves laughing right now at how little it takes for the UK to go to pot.
Bye, Borders
Posted: Wed 23 December, 2009 Filed under: Business, Norfolk, Thoughts Leave a comment »Apparently, today is the last day of trading for the Borders bookstores.
I went past the Norwich branch yesterday, and that’s already closed. It’s a sad sight, a bookshop filled with empty sets of shelving.
Scrapers
Posted: Wed 23 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Business, Creativity 3 Comments »On occasion, I just wonder whether my brain works slightly differently to “most peoples”. Today has contained one of those occasions.
If you were running a car-hire company, would you put an ice-scraper in each car during the winter months?
I know I would – having today had to go and buy a new one. (I’ve got one in the normal car, of course – but not in the hire one. Fuckers)
I’m sure that the excuse for not doing so would be “because of the cost” when people take the scrapers for themselves afterwards. Me, I’d put some branding/advertising on them, and job done – I don’t know how much return business you’d get, but every winter those people would be seeing the name of the hire company, and be reminded of it.
Enterprise Car Hire, that’s yet another bloody trick you’re missing.
Competition Prize
Posted: Tue 22 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »I just got a promotional email from Travelodge, with the tag line “Win a weekend at a Travelodge”
I wonder what the second prize is. Two weekends?
Shortest Day
Posted: Mon 21 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic 2 Comments »So hello, Winter Solstice. Yes, it’s the shortest day of the year.
In London, that means that today the sun rises at 8.04 and sets at 15.53, a total day of 7hrs 49m 41 seconds.
Tomorrow, it rises at 8.04 and sets at 15.54 , and the pattern is set.
By the 27th, the total day will be 7hrs 51m 29 seconds.
(All information courtesy of this site)
Happy, happy day.
Crunch – Enterprise Car Hire
Posted: Sun 20 December, 2009 Filed under: Customer Services, Domestic, Driving, Travel 1 Comment »Because of the damage to my car (and that damn fence) I’ve had to make a claim on the car insurance for the first time. Of course, it’s going to cost me the no-claims bonus and so on – and result in having to note it if I change insurer for the next few years – as well as the excess, but it’s going to be better to pay out £300 than the fuck-only-knows-how-much for both car repairs and fence reconstruction.
So far though – and as with previous things where I’ve used their recovery services – I’ve been really impressed with Tesco Insurance. Having had the accident, the recovery vehicle was with me within an hour as promised.
On Friday, having called them at 9am to register the claim itself, I was told that the car would be taken to their recommended bodyshop – I did have the choice of using my preferred one, but then it’s fucking about with estimates etc. – within four hours, and that the courtesy car people (Enterprise car hire) would be in touch also within four hours.
By 10am, the garage had called me, explained they’d need to get a different company to lug the car, and the different company had also called me to arrange collecting the car. By 12 the car was on the way to the garage on the back of a flatbed. Efficiency personified.
The only cloud so far has been Enterprise bloody car hire. The promised callback didn’t happen by 1pm. Fair enough, it was a shitty and busy day, but they’re a big company, you’d think someone would’ve been able to call, if only to say “We’re really busy, but will get back to you”. I called Tesco insurance back, and they got hold of Enterpriuse, and promised a call back again within two hours.
And still nothing. I ended up calling them at 4pm, and still not speaking to the right place “because they were too busy”. They finally called back at 4.30 to say “We’re not going to get to you today”. And that was it, so far as the Diss office was concerned. They weren’t open on Saturday, so *shrug*. We might be able to get out to you on Monday. Maybe.
I did sort out going to the Norwich office to collect one on Saturday, but that fell through for other reasons. So now I’ll be getting picked up to get to the Norwich office, rather than Diss. Frankly, I’ve no confidence in the Diss office at all, and have explained that to both Tesco Insurance, and the Norwich office.
We’ll see what happens on Monday, and whether Enterprise manage to sort themselves out for this one.
Crunch 2
Posted: Sat 19 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Travel, Weather 3 Comments »So – following on from yesterday’s post about crunching the car, this is what I did to it…
Fucked wheel, flat tyre, buggered headlamp and bumper, knackered plastic bodywork, and a bundle of crunched connections and wires.
I’ve still not had any news about how much the repairs will cost – I suspect that’ll be Monday’s news.
Crunch
Posted: Fri 18 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Norfolk, Travel, Weather 1 Comment »Last night, as may have come to people’s attention, it snowed in Norfolk. Quite heavily in fact, with a heavy wind that meant the snow was horizontal in places.
It was also effing cold – in snow? Who’d have thought? – which meant that the road was slippy.
Coming home, I started slipping at one crossroads, and slowed down as a result. I knew the next bit was dodgy at the best of times – seen the results of several accidents there already – so I was down to about 15mph. The car slid, and rather than turning went straight on, up the verge, and took out the fence of the house that’s on the corner. (Again, that fence has been taken out at least four times to my knowledge – so I’m the fifth) It slid along the fence, popping out the wooden fence panels, and hitting the concrete fence posts.
It wasn’t a hard impact – just inertia and momentum really – and didn’t even trigger the airbags. But the entire front quarter is stuffed, I’ve lost a headlamp, front nearside panel’s gone, and the bumper’s stuffed too. It’s going to take some work to fix.
The insurance company I use (Tesco) have been really good so far. The recovery truck was out within the hour they said, and today I’ve started the claim, and just about everything has run smoothly. There’s one exception to that, but that’s a separate post.
More mortifying was the fact that someone had called the police – I don’t know if it was one of the houseowners, or someone driving past, but still, up they pulled, blue lights and all. Probably for the best, as the corner was still dodgy and slippery (the police car came up at about 15-20mph too) but all the same, pretty mortifying. Still, it means that as well as having my first “proper” accident, I’ve also had my first breathalyser test – blowing an absolute zero, which wasn’t a surprise – and given all my details to them about the crash. An interesting experience, to be sure.
So the car’s stuffed – but thankfully it appears to be mainly the bodywork, not the chassis or anything. And it could’ve been so much worse. After all, I’m not hurt, no-one else got hurt, and really it’s just a car and a fence.
More Shit on the News
Posted: Fri 18 December, 2009 Filed under: General Leave a comment »via Failblog
Timing and Communication
Posted: Wed 16 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, News, Thoughts 2 Comments »The news today about the military buying 21 more Chinook helicopters “for use in Afghanistan” is – to me – a bit weird.
Fair enough, they’re being purchased, and that will help with troop movements and the like. Except even the most conservative estimates say the first ten won’t actually be “in theatre” (i.e. being used) until 2012 at the absolute earliest, and more like 2013/2014.
All of which doesn’t quite add up with the previous statements from Brown, Obama et al that the troops will start being pulled out of Afghanistan in – um – 2011.
So I wonder which date is more likely to be the correct one. My cynicism says it’s more likely to be the latter one.
Parking
Posted: Tue 15 December, 2009 Filed under: People | Tags: Y209WGF 2 Comments »Turning into a bit of a theme, this.
The excuse for this (I talked to the car-park attendant) was “I’ve got to have space to get out of my car”. The driver wasn’t disabled, didn’t have mobility issues, didn’t have any hindrance to being able to get in and out in a normal space.
Tiger Woods and Accenture
Posted: Mon 14 December, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Agency Idiocy, News, Thoughts 2 Comments »First of all I have to say that I really don’t give a tin shit about Tiger Woods, who he has (or hasn’t) shagged, or anything else about the situation. Not my business. Don’t know him, will never know him, don’t really care what he does with his life, wife, others, or anything else.
However, I did find it funny today that Accenture have decided that in light of his activities and revelations, Tiger Woods is no longer ‘the right representative’ for them.
For those who don’t know, Accenture used to be Arthur Andersen, a global outsourcing and consultancy company.
In my experience, consultancy companies come in all full of themselves and how great they are, fuck you up all over the place, charge extortionately for the privilege, and then screw off with the money, leaving a shitpile of fuckuppery behind them.
As such, I’d say that Tiger Woods right now is the perfect person to represent them…
Crossing to Nowhere
Posted: Mon 14 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Driving, Norfolk, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »While out shopping for some bits yesterday, we came across this crossing in a carpark in Norwich…
Yep, that zebra-crossing actually ends up in a hedge. No pathway, no throughfare, nothing. Just cross the road, walk into a hedge.
Bizarre
Take Responsibility
Posted: Sun 13 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, News, People, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »Apparently, the EU is caling for a volume limit to be put on all MP3 players. A report last year warning that up to 10m people in the EU face permanent hearing loss from listening to loud music for prolonged periods.
Stories like this drive me mental. People need to take responsibility for their actions – not be told everything they can and can’t do. Fine, put a warning on the boxes (or even on the display when the volume goes past a certain level, as my Sony MP3 player already does) that loud volume for long periods fucks the hearing. But let people decide, and take that responsibility.
After all, these things are (or at least bloody well should be) down to personal choice. It’s not the MP3 players decision, it shouldn’t be a government/EU decision. If someone decides that their music needs to be at absolute top volume all the time, fine, they’ll have issues in later life. Let them make the decision.
111,111
Posted: Sat 12 December, 2009 Filed under: D4D™, Driving 1 Comment »Yes, I really am this sad…
And yes, I was parked up at the time (as the speedo needle shows) but I did have to pull in to a car park just so I could take the photo.
Scratch List
Posted: Fri 11 December, 2009 Filed under: Driving, Travel 2 Comments »So, following on from yesterday’s post, a list of the scratches on the car. (Just for laughs, it’s nowt special)
- Rear nearside wheel arch – scraped down a wall in Devon three days after I got the car. (Stuck on a single-track road, reversed, didn’t know the length/width of the car. Scratch)
- Slight dent on rear bumper – on the same trip in Devon, not knowing the length of the car and reversing in a car-park.
- Rear nearside passenger door – scraped on the bumper of another car. (Yes, that’s the one in the multi-storey car park in London)
- Rear driverside doors – scraped on the tight entrance to the car park at Little Ouse Moorings
- Another dent on rear bumper – reversed into in Reading while pulling out of a parking space
- Rear driverside door – the new scratch from yesterday, courtesy of Mr M 521 BNH
Along the way there’s also been the damage done by two collisions with deer, and the smashed driver-side mirror when got whacked by someone coming the other way.
And today it’s in the garage for a service and replacement handbrake cable. *sigh*
Christmas Cheer
Posted: Wed 9 December, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Creativity, Festering Season 1 Comment »(via FailBlog) This has to be one of the best (and darkest) uses of Christmas Lights yet seen…
The work of a fantastically sick mind.
I Love it.
Resources and Consequences
Posted: Tue 8 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Green, Thoughts 2 Comments »Following on from yesterday’s post about Global Warming, Claire commented
Yes, the planet will happily survive, but are you implying that we shouldn’t be going out of our way to prevent the millions of deaths that will be caused by Climate Change in the very near future?
And to be honest, I don’t know.
On my more cynical days, I wonder whether Climate Change isn’t just another case of Darwinism and/or that Gaia hypothesis. We’re working so hard to save everyone, but does the planet have enough resources to support all the people that are saved? And if we don’t have the resources in the first place, what’s the answer?
As an example, one of Comic Relief’s big aims this year was about tackling malaria. According to Comic Relief, Malaria kills a child every 30 seconds – so the money raised for this project was primarily aimed at providing mosquito nets, and thus stopping those children from being infected in the first place. But for all those people who now survive, rather than die of malaria (or other disease of choice) will they take up extra resources? Will we see Uganda (and Africa in general) in droughts and famines in ten years time because there are so many extra mouths to feed than there used to be?
If Climate Change and Global Warming are going to be as world-changing as they’re purported to be, planetary resources are going to be reduced from their current levels anyway. So how will we plan on feeding/watering/housing everyone?
I don’t know the answers – I don’t even pretend to know the answers – and this is just shit I think about on cynical days.
Global Warming
Posted: Mon 7 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Green, Thoughts 4 Comments »The Copenhagen UN Climate Change Conference starts today, with delegates from 192 countries and leaders of 100 countries planning to attend.
The irony that none of the media seems to be mentioning is that the massive majority of those delegates and leaders will be flying in – thus contributing to the carbon emissions they’re all purportedly wanting to cut. Oops.
The thing that annoys me about the entire “Global warming” thing is this – whatever we do, the planet will survive. Saying that we’re going to destroy the planet is – to be blunt – simply egotistical bullshit. Even a nuclear war wouldn’t destroy the planet. What people actually mean when they talk about global warming is “we might wipe ourselves off the face of the planet”. And that’s a bit different to the overly-emotive “destroy the planet”.
Higher temperatures and higher levels of CO² etc. will have an effect, certainly. And it might damage or destroy “civilisation as we know it”. But those things will really just create different environments, and different ecospheres that evolution will deal with if technology doesn’t. The planet won’t die – but it will change, as it has done for billions of years previously. (The Gaia Hypothesis is one interesting theory on this)
Yes, we might end up with a new Desert Age. It might swing back to a new Ice Age. It might do one and then the other. But it won’t destroy the planet.
Even in all these changes, the odds are that humanity won’t be wiped out. (unless it all becomes an event similar to that/those which killed off the Dinosaurs – yet another example of “this stuff has happened before”) It’ll be reduced, almost certainly – but I suspect there’d still be pockets of humanity going through, restarting, evolving, and dealing with new living conditions and environments.
Even if we were to go to entirely sustainable ‘green energy, we don’t know what the long-term effects would be. We don’t know what happens if – for example – we pull energy from the sea (wave turbines/power). That energy isn’t magicked out of nothing – there are systems that exist, and we simply don’t know what long-term effect any of our supposedly green plans might have.
This doesn’t mean I think we should all leave lights on all the time and consume as much power as possible – but equally I don’t think we should worry about it as much as politicians think we should. Sure, things will change – but the oil supply is likely to run out well before the greenhouse effect or global warming get us. At that point, who knows? We might have stretched our way to using nuclear power (which I personally think is still the only real alternative to oil/carbon-based energy) but somehow I doubt it – the politicians will biffle on about global warming and reducing carbon emissions without actually doing anything that’ll replace the things that generate those carbon emissions.
Organised for Festering
Posted: Sun 6 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Festering Season, Getting Organised Leave a comment »
Today, I get to post off the menu choices for the entire family for Christmas Day.
Yes I know, the Scrooge of the family somehow gets to do the organisation of Christmas Day. Bizarre, but true. And it’s been this way now for three damn years.
In some ways I don’t mind, to be honest. It’s epically demoralising getting the sodding menus in August/September, and then dealing with who’s coming, who’s not, what’s going on, where we’ll be going, and getting back everyone’s menu choices. It also appeases the control-freak side of my nature, because it means I’ve got it sorted, I know what’s going on, and I know it’s all done.
This year it involves both Herself’s family and mine, which is a new one. My lot are coming up and staying with us over the Festering Season. Fortunately my father and brother are pretty much as Scrooge-esque as me, which’ll help. But still, it’s going to be fairly fraught. (More cynical souls than I would say that the Festering Season was always thus)
For now though, at least it’s all organised. I can go back to being a grumpy old Christmas-loathing bastard – not that that’s a change : just because I’ve organised the sodding day doesn’t mean I don’t still fucking hate it.
Next year, someone else can do it.
Destination Handbrake
Posted: Sat 5 December, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Driving Leave a comment »Yesterday, the handbrake on the car loosened significantly. It’s still working, but it’s pretty much at the limit now, rather than where it was.
Looks like I’m going to need to book it in for a service fairly quickly come Monday. For the moment the handbrake’s working OK – but this is obviously the warning sign that things are going to get worse sometime soon. So, time to get it fixed before that happens.
Always a joy, this car servicing/fixing lark…
Designer Pissoir
Posted: Sat 5 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Art, People, Weirdness Leave a comment »Lucky swine that I am, I came across these yesterday. They’re wrong in just so many ways…
Hard to believe someone’s designed something like this, isn’t it?
Unbelievable
Posted: Fri 4 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, Weirdness Leave a comment »I saw a trail for this TV programme (on BBC Three, no less) earlier this week, and assumed it was just a massive piss-take where I’d missed either a) the run-up or b) the punchline.
But no, apparently it’s real. A programme called “Move like Michael Jackson“.
And if your instant thought (like mine) was “Well that’s not going to be difficult, is it?” then you’re going to Hell too.
See you there.
Relocation Irritation
Posted: Fri 4 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »I caught an old episode of Channel 4’s “Relocation Relocation” last night, and yet again my old problem with the programme reared its head.
In short, while I get that some people do need to do the “two properties” thing, why do so many of the ones on this programme have such tight budgets?
I’m sure that most of them end up getting sane, and buying just one place in the end. But it seems to me that most of the people on there are really taken with the idea of “a little Pied á Terre” in London while living “out in the country” for weekends until they look at the practicalities of it. I’m sure it’s a situation that works for some people (for example, I could sort-of see myself doing it, if I were getting paid enough and working in London while still being here in Norfolk) but it’s a nightmare to do. Yes, it’d be nicer than staying three or four nights per week in a cocking Travelodge, but at the same time would it be any cheaper? I doubt it.
Personally I’d rather have a nicer/larger place out in the country – and if I did have to be working in London (or wherever) then I’d just use a hotel or a B&B and get a decent bulk-buy rate.
But maybe I’m just more sensible (or perhaps just less mad) than the people on Relocation Relocation.
Jesus Venn
Posted: Thu 3 December, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism Leave a comment »I can’t now remember where I saw this first, but I loved it…

December
Posted: Wed 2 December, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Festering Season, People, Photography 1 Comment »
It seems like loads of people around us spent last weekend putting up all their fucking manky house decorations for the Festering Season. some of them really do have to be seen to be believed.
In particular, two houses on my regular commute have gone hysterically over the top. I’m going to have to stop off some time this week on the way home and see what I can do about getting a couple of photos.
The TV’s full of shitty ads about perfume, CDs, chocolates, and fucking scumshit bastard Iceland.
And to top it off I’ve just had a spam email of “Festive Offers from Tesco Credit Card”. Fuck off, you dirtbags.
Well hellooooo, December.
Places to avoid
Posted: Tue 1 December, 2009 Filed under: News, Travel Leave a comment »If you were planning on going to Nottingham this coming weekend, this story is a pretty good explanation of why you really should change plans…
Dragging Behind
Posted: Mon 30 November, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, People, Travel 1 Comment »Yesterday’s trip to the BBC Good Food Show went OK – as expected it was mentally busy, and in a lot of cases nowhere near enough space between the stands. This particularly applied to the smaller stands where the little independent businesses were showing, and even more so in the cases where they were giving away samples and/or selling their wares. (i.e. Most of them)
But the other big problem this time (in my opinion, and that of others who I heard commenting about it) was the bastard wheeled trollies/cases that loads of people had brought with them.
I’ve written about my feelings about wheeled suitcases – and the people who use them – on a couple of occasions in the past (I thought there was one more recently, but I can’t find it currently) and my feelings really haven’t changed.
In the case of the Good Food Show, it was exacerbated by the sheer number of people around, and the brain-melting stupidity/vapidity of the people wielding the fucking trolleys. I lost count of the number of times the self-obsessed twats would either a) stop, leaving the wheeled trollies dangling out for people to trip over or b) ran over my feet. (and one assumes the feet of many other people too) If I’d been wearing my steel-toecap boots, there’d have been a few of those trollies that got a serious kick as I went past/over them – and there’d have been a couple of their owners receiving the same treatment.
Today I’ve got an exceptionally sore foot from where it got run over several times. I now wish I had taken that stun-gun to the show – although the people with wheeled bags are probably pretty lucky that I didn’t.
Brum Again
Posted: Sun 29 November, 2009 Filed under: Business, Charm School, Customer Services, Thoughts, Travel Leave a comment »Today we’re off to Birmingham and the NEC again, this time for the BBC Good Food Show. It’s just been one of those months where we’ve ended up there twice. Mind you, hopefully we won’t be going back again ’til it’s time for the International Spring Fair.
The Good Food Show (and most of the others held at the NEC) is usually good, except that the NEC – and probably most other show venues as well – does insist on trying to stuff in as many exhibitors as possible. I understand that up to a point – after all, it’s good business – but it gets annoying when each aisle is wide enough for three or four people at most. That’s fine when people are moving along, but when they’re stopped at a stall and trying to either a) get to it or b) get samples of whatever’s on offer it gets ridiculous. At that point those “4-people wide” aisles become half the size (at best) because there’s people either side of them stopped and not moving.
I’m going prepared this time. No, I’m not taking a stungun – although that would be a good alternative – but I’ll be prepared to go and sit somewhere else, either with the laptop or a book, and just not get involved. It’s not ideal, because I’d actually like to be going round the stalls – but if I do that, the odds are that someone’s going to get hurt. And people, it won’t be me.
Slowing Down
Posted: Sat 28 November, 2009 Filed under: D4D™, Writing Leave a comment »Things might slow down here on D4D for a while – I’ve got a couple of writing ideas that I want to make a start on, and I’ve only got a finite amount of time for writing.
So there’ll still be regular updates here, just that for the next [time period] it might not be a daily thing. We’ll see.
Of course, if the ideas don’t pan out, I’ll be back to writing this stuff instead. Swings and roundabouts, and all that rot.
Banks, Overdraft Charges, and Sanity
Posted: Fri 27 November, 2009 Filed under: Business, News, People, Thoughts 3 Comments »I’m sure I’m not the only person to actually be quite pleased that the banks won their case about overdraft charges this week – but it’s pretty hard to find anyone else who’s actually willing to say so. If the case had been lost by the banks, it would likely have ended up meaning that everyone had to pay a fee for having a bank account – and thus the people in credit subsidising those who weren’t.
I do, however, think that the banks take the piss on just how much they charge for going over the overdraft limit and so on. Fine, a fiscal penalty makes sense – but £30 per refused item? £15 for going over the limit? That’s a pisstake right there.
I can see the point of some of the people who were (rightly, in my opinion) furious with the banks for charging £30+ when they went 50p over their limit. That’s a punishment that’s out of proportion with the “crime”. As with many of these things, I would like to see some fuzzy limits in place, rather than rigid “10p over and you’re fined” limits. For example, if someone goes a couple of pounds past their limit – and these accidents can and do happen, it doesn’t take much for an unexpected item to drive you close to (or over) that limit on occasion – then they shouldn’t be charged. That policy shouldn’t be publicised as such, but would (again, in my opinion) help provide a far better response from customers.
Yes, you will always get the people who take the piss out of a system like that. But if you’re going to have that bit of fuzz round the edge of the limit, it’s more likely to benefit than hinder. If I’d gone (for example) £3 over my overdraft limit, I’d probably take far more note of not being charged than of being charged. It might make me think “Blimey, that’s reasonable” – or even just “Ah, they’ve fucked up and not noticed” – but at least I wouldn’t be getting pissed off with the bank and ranting about it to all and sundry.
If you go tens (or hundreds, or thousands) of pounds past your agreed overdraft though, then you should expect to pay. I don’t have an issue with the fact that people are charged extra when they’ve done that. That’s just business on the part of the banks. And if someone’s so stupid they don’t read the terms and conditions, or think they won’t get charged, then (as always, in my opinion) then they’re not really fit to have a bank account in the first place. Take some fucking responsibility for your actions.
This year, as I’ve said before, hasn’t been a great one for me, workwise. I did end up over my overdraft for a while, and I did get charged for it. Things are back to normal now, and I’m back in credit. But I didn’t object to the charges (other than their extortionate levels) because I’d got myself in that position – one could argue that fate and shit luck had a part to play, but that’s by the by – and I knew I’d get charged. The only part that rankled was that I’d tried hard to fix things and extend that overdraft limit well before the situation arose, but fell foul of long-standing problems with my bank that I keep on being assured have been fixed, only to be bitten on the arse by them again and again. So I’d tried to organise a fix, but hadn’t been able to do so. If I had been able to, I’d have been fine – I never went past the extra amount I tried to set up. Even so, I knew I’d get charged for going over that limit.
But never once have I been tempted to think “I’ll try and get a refund on all my bank charges over the last ten years” or whatever. When I’ve been charged (and it hasn’t happened often) it’s been because I’ve fucked up, or been in the shit. Or both. I’ve always known (roughly) what those charges would be, and they’ve been expected.
I don’t know why people think they can get their overdrafts “for free”, without being charged by a bank to borrow that money. Banks are in the business of lending money – they’re not (and never will) do it for free. And if you think they will, then I’m sorry, but you’re a fucking idiot.
So yes, I’m pleased that the banks won the case. I think that for once it’s actually the correct result.
Twilight Sequel Cancelled
Posted: Fri 27 November, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism Leave a comment »(via YorkshireSoul)

I Totally Agree
Against The Odds
Posted: Thu 26 November, 2009 Filed under: Business, Cynicism, News 1 Comment »Way back in January, Diamond Geezer asked his readers to list the companies that they thought would go into administration in 2009. He called it “The High Street Death List“.
Being a cynical bastard, of course I had to have a go – and chose Borders, the bookshop. I see bookshops (or at least the big chains) dying out in the same way that music stores have done, high-street bricks-and-mortar business premises always costing infinitely more than a warehouse in the arse-end of nowhere.
And lo, today Borders have announced that they’ve gone into administration.
I haven’t had the confirmation from DG yet, but it’s currently looking like my choice is the first to fall on the Death List.
Stick That, National Express
Posted: Thu 26 November, 2009 Filed under: Customer Services, Cynicism, National Express East Anglia, News, Travel Leave a comment »Fantastic news today that National Express are to lose their franchise on the East Anglia route three years earlier than expected.
I’ve written before about just how shit National Express are – and how shit they’ve been with their customers – with ‘under-the-table’ price rises on tickets and the like. (Which reminds me, I’ve got something to add on that score, but it can wait) So I think it’s great that their utter shitness has been recognised, and had something done about it.
Of course, this isn’t going to be a “with immediate effect” thing. The useless fuckbags still don’t lose it ’til 31st March 2011. I wonder how many nasty little fare rises and shitty tactics they’ll put in place between now and then in order to maximise their income (and thus profit) before losing the contract?
Domestic
Posted: Thu 26 November, 2009 Filed under: News, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Yesterday, the news was full of the story about children being taught about domestic abuse in school from the age of five. And while I think the concept in general is OK, I do think it’s flawed – primarily because it shouldn’t just be about how violence against women is wrong. Domestic violence is wrong, regardless of who does what to whom. And that’s what should be taught.
Coupled with that, I think that the £13m that’s going on this project could be far better spent on resources for actually dealing with the problems that exist, rather than trying/hoping to prevent the same problems in the future.
And I have to wonder, what happens when a child’s had a lesson that week about domestic abuse, and comes home to a place where it’s situation normal? What happens if they say they’ve been taught it’s bad, without necessarily realising what danger they could be putting themselves in by asking?
Most importantly, how do children learn that domestic violence is A Bad Thing when it’s all they’ve seen, and all that their experience is based on?
Catering for stupidity
Posted: Tue 24 November, 2009 Filed under: Business, Catering, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Media, People, Thoughts 3 Comments »Many moons ago, I used to run pubs and hotels – as I’ve mentioned once or twice before. It’s still something that I’d go back to, depending on the right circumstances and so on. In fact, it’s something we’re both talking about as an idea – although not just ‘any old’ pub/restaurant. Although I’ll leave that for now.
Anyway, as a result of that, I do find myself interested by programmes like (among others) BBC’s “The Restaurant“, where nine couples compete to win the chance to run a restaurant in partnership with Raymond Blanc. It’s kind of like “The Apprentice”, but for the restaurant business. My initial plan was to watch it as research, making sure I wouldn’t make any really stupid mistakes.
However, it also leads me to be exceptionally rude and sweary. Sadly, ‘The Restaurant’ has fallen into the same kind of Reality TV trap as The Apprentice, in that the people they’ve got on there aren’t really interested in running a business, but are more interested in being on TV- and that’s also evident in the selection process, where the competitors have quite obviously been selected for their road-crash style fuckups rather than their ideas or restaurant skills.
I’m not saying I’m surprised by this, by the way – more like vaguely despairing, but not at all surprised.
In the current series we’ve already had the couple who (on camera at least) couldn’t find a proper can opener, and thus tried opening a can (and a coconut) with a razor-sharp chef’s knife, using a rolling-pin as a hammer to knock the knife in. I had to look away at that point, because I couldn’t help but wonder whether we were about to see the first on-screen amputation.
We’ve also (somehow still) got a pair where the chef doesn’t cook – and in fact appears to be actively terrified of cooking. How – and indeed why?!? – do you select a pair for a restaurant/catering-based show when the person doing the cooking side of things is (frankly) an utter bell-end whose previous ‘cooking’ experience has been – um – making cocktails in a bar?
I just think it’s a shame – and a waste – of a good idea to have ended up with it being so obviously made-for-TV. I know, it’s a TV programme – but there could’ve been so many opportunities for having something that promoted innovative food, ideas and menus, and instead it’s just another sad Reality TV staple.
Outage
Posted: Tue 24 November, 2009 Filed under: D4D™ 1 Comment »For a few hours this morning, D4D was unavailable.
The hosting company that I use for D4D suffered what they describe as “a massive network outage” which took nearly three hours to fix.
It’s back now, but there may be other blips over the next couple of days while they work out what the hell went wrong.
Restaurant Owner’s Rant
Posted: Sun 22 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Business, Catering, Charm School Leave a comment »It’s probably done the rounds by now anyway, but I still find this rant email from the owner of the New York restaurant “Paradou” to be pretty amazing. And not in a good way.
Basically, he’s asked the waiters and bar hosts to get email addresses for their customers – one assumes so that they can be sent marketing shite – and is unhappy (to say the least) that people don’t seem to be doing what he wants. (Although I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at the owners being tosspots, looking at how fucking horrible their website is!)
And I have to say, on the face of this email, I wouldn’t want to work for the fucker either.
Ha
Posted: Thu 19 November, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Sweary Leave a comment »
Well, can you?
I promise, it wasn’t me that wrote this. I just wish it had been.
Wii Pray
Posted: Wed 18 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Despite being an avowed atheist (or at best agnostic) I think that this is a hilariously brilliant idea.
It’s not quite in the same category of misguided as the infamous Amish Online Dating site which I still hope is a joke, but have a cynical suspicion that someone really created it as an idea.
And in the meantime, remember that actually it’s Satanism that is the only perfect religion. If you fuck up in Satanism, you get to go to Heaven…
Spamtastic
Posted: Wed 18 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »I got this spam the other day…
My names are Janet Brown, I was diagnosed for cancer for about few weeks ago. I have been touched by God to donate to you, from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God/needy/charity, I decided to WILL/donate the sum of USD$10Million to you. Contact my Attorney/lawyer/Barrister Stephen & Associates with this, specified email; { [Removed, for obvious reasons]} Tel; [Removed, for obvious reasons],for the funds release, my personal ref number law/WILL/9834520012. I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don’t want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. Regards,
Mrs. Janet Brown
That’s exactly as I received it – the only thing changed is that I’ve removed the contact details.
But what you’ve got to wonder is this: What kind of blithering idiot numpty would ever respond to something like this?
And if even one person did respond, it would just prove that Barnum was right – there truly is one born every minute.
Not as Advertised
Posted: Tue 17 November, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Norfolk Leave a comment »In Norwich, a new venue called “Open” has – um – opened.
The URL for the website is Open247.org.uk – implying that Open is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
However, if you look at the opening hours (and it’s not easy to find them) you get this…
The opening hours are as follows:
- Monday – Saturday 9am-10pm
- Sunday 10 – 9pm
Which means it’s not actually 24/7 at all, is it? Although I suppose (at most) 13/7 doesn’t have quite the same ring to it…
Pseudonyms
Posted: Mon 16 November, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, D4D™, Thoughts, Writing 1 Comment »Over the weekend, Belle De Jour, one of the last remaining published ‘anonymous’ bloggers (which should really be pseudonymous bloggers, but let’s not be picky) has come out and revealed her ‘true’ name. There was also a piece in TechCrunch by Paul Carr about this, which made for interesting reading.
While I (for obvious reasons) don’t have an issue with pseudonymous bloggers, I do think that Carr’s point is equally valid – if you’re going to write something under a pseudonym, don’t go out and get a book deal. The concepts of pseudonyms and fame are pretty much mutually exclusive – yes, there are some people who’ve managed both, but not really during the current media-driven Age of Celebrity.
For me, some (OK, a fair number) people know my ‘real-life’ name. I write as Lyle to keep things separate from the real world – I don’t want a Google search on my real name to bring up D4D™, and I don’t want searches on D4D™ to easily bring up my name. I believe it is possible to make a connection or two these days, but I still try to keep the two apart as much as I can.
But I don’t want fame or a book deal. If I were looking for that, I would’ve done things very differently with D4D. (I mean for one thing, I’d have had a theme for it, rather than just random sweary rubbish) And for the writing I do where I would like/love/dream of getting it into production, of seeing the writing become properly known, I write in my own name, and on a totally different site.
I don’t have a problem with people writing pseudonymously, nor with them deciding to remove that pseudonymity in order to re-join the two parts of their lives. That’s fair enough. I do object to the media forcing people to lose their pseudonymous lives (as happened with Girl With A One-Track Mind when her book came out) but that is – apparently, at least – not what’s happened with Belle de Jour.
As usual, I don’t really know where I’m going with this – it’s just a random spattering of thoughts. I suppose I just end up being bemused a bit when people get the book deal and still think/hope they can stay behind the pen-name.
Reason To Travel
Posted: Sun 15 November, 2009 Filed under: Driving, Travel 1 Comment »A quick thanks to Yorkshire Soul, who has managed to write a post that gives me a reason to go to San Francisco.
That just looks like so much fun. (Although I don’t think it would be worth the flight just to do that, of course)
Evil Santa
Posted: Sun 15 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Festering Season, People, Weirdness Leave a comment »Now this is my kind of way to scare kids in a Christmas Parade…

Santa cart with deer heads instead of reindeer...
From There, I fixed it
Library of Dust
Posted: Sat 14 November, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Photography Leave a comment »A while back (and I thought I’d written about it at the time, but a search reveals I hadn’t) I came across a project by the photographer David Maisel called “Library of Dust“, and since then I’ve kept on coming back to it.
From the project information page…
Library of Dust depicts individual copper canisters, each containing the cremated remains of patient from a state-run psychiatric hospital. The patients died at the hospital between 1883 (the year the facility opened, when it was called the Oregon State Insane Asylum) and the 1970’s; their bodies have remained unclaimed by their families.
The copper canisters have a handmade quality; they are at turns burnished or dull; corrosion blooms wildly from the leaden seams and across the surfaces of many of the cans. Numbers are stamped into each lid; the lowest number is 01, and the highest is 5,118. The vestiges of paper labels with the names of the dead, the etching of the copper, and the intensely hued colors of the blooming minerals combine to individuate the canisters. These deformations sometimes evoke the celestial – the Northern Lights, the moons of some alien planet, or constellations in the night sky.
Since first seeing the photos from the project (and the associated Asylum project) I’ve kept on coming back to them time and again. I don’t know why they affect me as much as they do – after all, they’re really ‘just’ photos of old copper cans – except it’s not ‘just’ a set of cans. I’ve shown the site to a few friends over the months, and they’ve all been affected by the images too, allbeit not quite to the same degree as I am.
Anyway, there’s also a book of the photos and project which I wishlisted on Amazon as soon as I discovered it, but never got round to buying.
I finally did so this week, following on from my birthday – It’s been something that’s on my mind for a long time, so it was worth getting. The book arrived yesterday, and while I haven’t looked through it properly, it’s already awesome. I don’t know how often I’ll look through the book itself – but I’m glad I’ve got it.
Caught on your own spike
Posted: Fri 13 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, News, Sweary 1 Comment »Following on from all the guff this week about Gordon Brown supposedly mis-spelling the name of Jamie Janes in a letter of condolence (and it really does take a special kind of sanity/logic to name your child with almost-matching first and surnames, doesn’t it?) and the Sun’s hate campaign about it, I just love this…
But of course it’s OK for the Sun to mis-spell it (as “Jones”, in case anyone cared) and not incur the wrath of – um – The Sun.
Hypocritical fuckers.
Always With You
Posted: Fri 13 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Art, People, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »Via a range of weird and wonderful links (just don’t ask, OK?) I came across a site called “Pictures of Jesus 4 U” which really has to be seen to be (dis)believed.
For me, the worst/creepiest ones are done by a guy called Larry van Pelt, (Pelt also has his own site here) which raise bad art to a new level. Go on, go and have a look.
What’s even scarier is that (I assume) some people actually pay for these images. There’s just no accounting for taste, I suppose…
Slimline Plug
Posted: Wed 11 November, 2009 Filed under: Creativity, Geeky, Technology Leave a comment »via bsag, I think this slimline plug is an absolutely fantastic idea.
UK 3-pin plugs are pretty sturdy, but if you’re carrying a couple of power cords around – or phone chargers, laptop power bricks etc. – then you quickly become aware of how bulky they are too.
The design of the slimline plug is aimed at getting round that, and seems to work really well. Even better are the adapters that allow three or four slimline plugs to be used in a space similar to that of a normal three-pin plug.
Remembrance Day
Posted: Wed 11 November, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Introspective, Memory, Thoughts Leave a comment »With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
England mourns for her dead across the sea.
Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of spirit,
Fallen in the cause of the free.Solemn the drums thrill: Death august and royal
Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres.
There is music in the midst of desolation
And a glory that shines upon our tears.They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
They fell with their faces to the foe.They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.They mingle not with laughing comrades again;
They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
They sleep beyond England’s foam.But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
As the stars are known to the Night;As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain,
As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
To the end, to the end, they remain.
“For the Fallen” by Laurence Binyon, originally published in The Times on 21 September 1914, and the source of the more common “Ode to Remembrance”
Obsessive Behaviour
Posted: Wed 11 November, 2009 Filed under: D4D™, Domestic, Health, People, Thoughts, Weight Loss, Weirdness 1 Comment »Over the last few months, as I’ve written about before, we’ve been attending one of the local Slimming World groups in an effort to lose a bit of weight. Obviously I’ve got more to lose than Herself, but we’re both working on it.
So far it’s been fairly successful – we’ve both lost a stone over that time. We could, in all honesty, have lost more, and/or in less time if we followed all the rules and weighed everything obsessively.
But that’s the key word – in my opinion, there’s an awful lot of this weight-loss stuff that is actually about doing stuff obsessively. We’ve seen three (I think) “group leaders” now, all of whom have lost significant amounts of weight – and absolutely fair play to them for doing so, they’ve done fantastically well – but all of whom are (to be polite about it) just a little bit crackers. There’s a number of examples of this, although right now I can’t be arsed to list them.
The one that keeps on coming back to me, though, was the one who was still utterly obsessed by food – all she’d done was replace high-calorie foods with low-calorie ones. But there was still that slightly crackers gleam in the eye when she was talking about being able to eat “whole bowls of no-Syn trifle to yourself” and so on.
And I find I just don’t have that obsessive part to me – and to some degree it actually leaves me feeling quite uncomfortable. I’m not obsessed with food, nor do I collect anything obsessively, or really anything else. It’s simply not part of me.
I don’t know where I’m going with this, to be honest. It’s just something I’ve noticed and wanted to write about it. And maybe that’s it, maybe writing is my obsessive behaviour, whether it be D4D™ or other writing projects. In some ways I’d actually be quite happy if that were the case. I just don’t know if it is.
Big Win
Posted: Tue 10 November, 2009 Filed under: People, Thoughts Leave a comment »Since the weekend, the media’s been full of stories about the two sets of EuroMillions Lottery winners, who both won £45.5 million pounds. It’s not something I’m massively interested in – fair enough, they’ve been lucky enough to win, and that’s great for them. I think if I were in a similar situation though, I’d be pretty certain to go for the “no publicity” bit – after all, I’m willing to bet that this publicity will generate loads of letters to them from people begging for help/loans/gifts/donations. That would do my head in straight away.
Actually, I don’t know that I’d actually want to win that much money. (Although of course I wouldn’t turn it down or anything!)
I would, of course, love to win a decent sum on a lottery – although even then I’d probably be just as happy to earn that amount if one (or more) of my business ideas or plans were ever to take off properly. But £45million? I don’t know. Personally I think that kind of money is too much, it’d just leave you reeling.
There are so many instances of people winning massive sums and then either just blowing it on stupid stuff (houses, cars, drugs) and ending up back to being broke with nothing to show for their win. Just about every “What happened next?” story about lottery winners describes the amount of begging letters from people, the family members coming out of the woodwork, and all the crap that goes with suddenly – and very publicly – getting a massive dollop of money.
And to be honest, I don’t think I would want that much stress and hassle in my life. Sure, the money makes up for it a bit, but I don’t know, it’s just not my thing really.
Confession
Posted: Mon 9 November, 2009 Filed under: Driving Leave a comment »When I’m driving, I have to admit that in some ways I’m really competitive. Not in an “I’m going to beat that car off the lights” way, though.
No, instead I take the “Estimated arrival time” from the satnav (when I’m using it) as a challenge. I want to see how much time I can shave off that ETA. It’s childish, I know – but I still find myself doing it.
As usual, it’s not to the point of dangerous driving or anything, but I still find it a fun challenge. Of course, it helps most of the time that the satnav is really conservative when it comes to estimated timings…
Fireworks Done
Posted: Sun 8 November, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Domestic Leave a comment »Another year of firework displays is now over, thank god.
We had a couple of nearby displays this year – compared to none last year – but thankfully Hound seemed to handle them fine this time, for just about the first time ever. Compared to five years ago when she had a nervous breakdown during fireworks weekend, that’s pretty fucking miraculous.
Of course, she’s now on more types of pills than I can think of – compared to none five years ago – which certainly also make a big difference. She’s also been on a new one over the last month called Zylkene, which seems to be having a good effect on her.
Anyway, it’s over now ’til New Years Eve, so we might get some peace.
Ugly
Posted: Sat 7 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, People, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »Every so often, you’ll see someone and just think “Why?”. Other people create websites dedicated to that moment…
First there’s Ugly Tattoos, which does exactly what the name says. Some seriously weird and ugly tattoos where you’ve got to wonder a) why they were done in the first place , b) what the people were thinking in the first place and in some cases c) how come the tattooist didn’t get sued.
Then there’s Wedinator, with wedding events/photos that are certainly strange andsometimes just plain wrong.
Any time I wonder whether I’ve been too cynical in my estimations of people, let these sites stand as witness to the fact I can never be that cynical.
Changing Landscapes
Posted: Thu 5 November, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Thoughts Leave a comment »That’s the thing about this life – your options almost always narrow down
When you’re young, there’s always someone warning “Don’t burn your bridges”. What they fail to tell you is that those bridges are going to catch the spark anyway, spontaneously combust. The light that inferno throws off will only illuminate your failures and dead dreams. And you go on kidding yourself there’ll be other ways back home, other ways to start again. For Christ’s sake, we live in the land of the remake. Head west. Change your name. Find the frontier, and a new life.
But at some point you come to understand, in one of those blinding flashes of satori, that there just is no way back. That the landscape has changed and warped and eroded so much that not only are there no bridges, but there aren’t even any roads, there’s not even a way to turn around and have a clear vision, to get a fix on where it was you came from.
© Jack O’Connell, “Wireless”
Another in a series of quotes and lyrics I tend to throw up on my birthday…
Remember, Remember
Posted: Thu 5 November, 2009 Filed under: D4D™ 2 Comments »It’s November 5th, which means I’m now thirty-fucking-eight.
Poo.
Ignored
Posted: Wed 4 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Customer Services Leave a comment »Coming home last night, there was a card slotted into the door from City Link couriers, saying that there were two boxes left in our black bin.
So I look in the black bin, and this is what I’m greeted with…
So yeah, thanks for that Shitty Link, you fuckwit bastards.
Little and Large
Posted: Wed 4 November, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Domestic, Weirdness Leave a comment »As it’s coming up to two years since we got them, the chickens have started doing some strange things.
They haven’t been quite as productive this year as they were in their first year – which is to be expected – as they finally got round to all moulting in the last four months, and Gladys in particular has been a broody old cow this year.
All the same, the egg I found last night was notable…
That’s a normal-sized egg on the left, and the tiny example left yesterday. Very strange. I haven’t yet opened it up to see if it’s perfectly formed inside, though.
Hallowe’en Quizzage Results
Posted: Mon 2 November, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Norfolk, People Leave a comment »The village quiz last night was – as expected – quite a laugh. What was really good to see was that it was far busier than the previous years we’ve attended, to the point that they had to set up some extra tables in order to seat everyone. Auspiciously, there were 13 teams/tables taking part.
Our table ended up with a “best-decorated table” award, mainly because of Herself’s mother, who had excelled herself with a chocolate cake made up to look like a graveyard, which got taken on a tour round all the other tables by the organisers.
In the end, we came third out of the thirteen tables, only five points off the winning score. That suits me/us – yes, it would be nice to win, but I’m usually content with a “Top Three” position. (And we’ve managed that at each of the village quizzes we’ve attended so far) After all, it’s not the winning, it’s being there and having fun with the entire thing.
All told, a fun evening – allbeit one that also makes you realise just how feckin’ nutty some of our village people really are.
No NaNoWriMo
Posted: Sun 1 November, 2009 Filed under: Creativity, The '09 Writing Project, Thoughts, Writing 2 Comments »Despite wanting to get back into writing, once again I won’t be taking part in NaNoWriMo (Or National Novel Writing Month, to give it the full title)
Both Andy and Gordon have written their thoughts about it, which pretty much resonate with my own. I think that while it can be good, I don’t actually want to write somerhing where, as the NaNoWriMo site puts it
The only thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It’s all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.
The idea is that you just write, you don’t (in theory at least) spend loads of time thinking about story arcs, characters, events and the like. It’s the equivalent of writing a brain-dump, a stream of consciousness. And that, I think, is my problem with it. I don’t like reading that kind of book – why the blinking sun-stunned chuff would I want to write one?
As it is, with D4D™ I’ve written some 800,000+ words (which is pretty sodding gobsmacking in itself) which is the equivalent of roughly eight novels. Obviously I know it’s not eight novels, but it does work as a comparison figure.
I’d like to go back to writing something ‘proper’ – it’s been an aim for a while, and will continue to be so – whether it’s a screenplay or something more novel-like. But I want to do it properly, not just as a “Write 50,000 words in a month” project. I’ve got some ideas that need developing – and there’ll be more about that in a different post sometime soon – but I honestly don’t think NaNoWriMo is for me.
Of course, if we come back at the start of November 2010 and I still haven’t got any of those ideas out into ‘proper’ writing, I might have a bit of a rethink on that.
Hard To Believe
Posted: Sun 1 November, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Thoughts Leave a comment »In five days time, I’ll be thirty-fucking-eight.
I have no idea how this has happened – I don’t feel that age, I don’t act that age, and I don’t see myself as being that age. More importantly, pretty much everyone I know doesn’t see me as being that age either.
All very strange.
The Hallowe’en Paradox
Posted: Sat 31 October, 2009 Filed under: Charm School, Cynicism, Domestic, Weirdness Leave a comment »In some ways I feel the same about Hallowe’en as I do about The Festering Season. Mainly it’s the paradoxes that annoy me.
In the case of Hallowe’en, we’ll float past the crap about grown people dressing up like kids and so on.
But what gets me is this :
For most of the year (excluding the run-up to the Festering Season and Hallowe’en) children get told to not talk to strangers, not accept sweets from strangers, not accept anything, so forth, so fifth. But come the Festering Season, they’re told to talk to strangers about what they want, accept presents and all that shit. And come Hallowe’en, all of a sudden it’s fine for kids to dress up, go round the neighbourhood and knock on the doors of people they don’t know and have never met, and get sweets.
Which is – to me, anyway – just really fucking weird.
Hallowe’en Quizzage
Posted: Sat 31 October, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Norfolk Leave a comment »As it’s Hallowe’en, our madcap village is going to be having its annual quiz tonight, where as many participants as possible dress up and get into (pardon the pun) the spirit of things.
Bizarrely, the entire thing is organised by the village church, held in the church hall, and all proceeds from ticket sales etc. go to the church. For a Hallowe’en event. Bizarre, I know.
As per the last couple of years, we’ll be down there along with other members of the family. It’s a fun night, and we normally do OK on it. Even better, it means we get to avoid any little bastards who may be out doing trick or treat. Bonus.
2012 Idiot Tax
Posted: Thu 29 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Stupidity, Thoughts Leave a comment »In yet another case of “There’s one born every minute”, the BBC has a story today about the fact people are already getting taken in by sites selling tickets for the London 2012 Olympics. That’s despite the fact that tickets won’t be going on sale until 2011…
As I’ve said before, the people who pay money to sites like that really just have more money than sense, and deserve to be taken for a ride. It’s like an idiot tax – if you’re an idiot, you will pay.
According to the story, “it is illegal to sell fake 2012 tickets in the UK, Olympic organisers said.” . But what happens if you’re not actually selling fake tickets? By that I mean that you’re advertising tickets – but not actually supplying even false ones. Sure, it’s fraud etc. – but technically, it’s also not selling fake tickets. It’s ‘just’ taking money from morons.
I’m forever being told that I’ve got far too cynical a view of people and their stupidity. But still I see stories like this and I’m still amazed that no matter how low my expectations, people still go lower than them.
Stating the Obvious (Yet Again)
Posted: Wed 28 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, News, Thoughts 1 Comment »Monday’s verdict from the inquest into the death of three men in an RAF Puma helicopter was a perfect exercise in “No shit, sherlock”.
Apparently, “the pilot was attempting manoeuvres beyond his capabilities“.
Which is pretty obvious when you think about it. After all, the helicopter crashed.
The news coverage though was even better – and how they didn’t end up with a really rude answer, I don’t know. It’s another of those situations where I’m glad I’m not involved in this kind of idiocy, because my response would’ve been rude, insensitive and many other things.
At one point the reporter asked “So was the helicopter flying too low?”. Of course it fucking was, it ended up flying into the ground.
Unwell – Additional
Posted: Tue 27 October, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Domestic, Health, Thoughts 1 Comment »Following on from yesterday’s post about Hound being unwell, she’s definitely getting over it.
What I forgot to add to yesterday’s post though – and the subject for this one – is that because of taking her to the vets again on Monday, I had to let the new workplace know I was going to be in later than usual. So I sent them an email on Sunday night, explaining that the dog was ill etc., and I’d be in late.
It was only afterwards that I started having second thoughts, thinking that it sounded
- a bit like just an excuse for a lie-in
- like I must be a bit daft when it comes to Hound etc.
In the end, I rationalised it a bit by thinking “Well, if it were a child, they’d fully understand that we had to go to a hospital for extra checks and so on“. And in a lot of ways, Hound is to us what a child is to a lot of other couples. (No, not “A pain in the arse, that deserves regular beating”) While we’re not the kind of moronic fuck-knuckles who dress a dog up in clothes, or treat it like a surrogate child, we have invested one hell of a lot of time, energy and money in Hound over the years in a similar way to a ‘normal’ family.
Of course, it turned out that no-one in the office had thought about it like that anyway – it was just me thinking into things way too much. As usual.
Self-Assessment
Posted: Tue 27 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Business, Cynicism, Domestic, Getting Organised, Security, Thoughts 3 Comments »Over the weekend, I completed – and sent off – my Self-Assessment Tax Return to Your Friends And Mine at HMCE. The deadline for receiving them is October 31st (i.e. this Saturday) so I’ve only just scraped it this year, having been really really good with it last year.
I know, I could do it all online, and have ’til January 31st to fill it in etc. – but I still don’t trust the online system. I wrote about this a couple of years back, and my feelings are still the same. Mainly, I’m happy to spend the money and use the Special Delivery stuff to get the tax return in – it just means I’ve got a signed confirmation that the Tax Return has been received where it’s been sent. I’ve been bitten by that before, the entire “Oh no, we haven’t received it” from HMCE. Of course, if you say you haven’t received something from them, it’s a case of “Well we sent it, so you must have received it”, but it’s not the same thing when it’s time to send stuff to them.
Basically, when it comes to sending documents to HMCE, it always pays to be paranoid. Always assume that they are either :
- Vindictive
- Inefficient beyond the dreams of man
- Both
and you’ll be OK.
It’s because of that – OK, it’s partly because of that – that I still don’t trust the online submission of tax returns. Yes, you can be pretty sure they’ve received it – but when it comes to HMRC, “pretty sure” simply isn’t sure enough. I feel the same way about HMCE’s online submission as I do about the people who store all their important data/files with Google, Amazon or some other internet cloud-based server – in other words, “Expect it to get lost. Expect it to get hacked.”
My tax return is on paper. Yes, I know it’ll end up being clocked in to the HMCE ‘System’. That’s fine. But letting their system be the only place it’s held? Sod that. I’ve got a photocopy of the tax return. I know where the figures came from, and I’ve got them recorded. I expect HMCE’s copy of the document to get lost, edited, hacked or mislaid. If/when it happens, I’ve got my own hard-copy backup. If you’ve done all the calculations on-line and not printed out the results (or even better, screenshots) and/or received confirmation from the system of those figures, what proof have you got of what you filled in?
Even if it’s simply that the electronic version gets corrupted, if HMCE also have it on paper then there’s some way they can recover the information without me even needing to be involved. If they only have an electronic version, then lots of people are going to be screwed if anything does happen.
So while I can, I’ll stick with doing my tax return on paper and sending it in to them. When they eventually go to “Online only”, I’ll still make sure I’ve got a printout of the entire thing, along with all the figures I’ve used to calculate it.
Call me paranoid, I don’t mind. Frankly, I’ve been kicked in the nuts by HMCE too many times to not be paranoid. And that’s not paranoia – that’s just common sense.
Unwell
Posted: Mon 26 October, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Domestic, Health 1 Comment »Last night, we ended up taking Hound to the emergency vet. She’d been a bit flat all day – and we should’ve realised all was Not Well when she didn’t move while we ate lunch.
But during the evening she went downhill quite quickly, so we ended up calling the out-of-hours service for our vets, and getting over to the vets main place.
It turned out she’s got aspirated pneumonia – basically, she’s coughed on whatever, breathed it in, and done so repeatedly. Last night she was running a temperature of 40°, which was the most concern to the vet. As he said at the time, “It’s not the highest temperature I’ve ever seen with a dog, but it’s not far off“.
She ended up with four injections – antibiotic, anti-inflammatory, antacid, and Metoclopramide to help food get processed.
She’s been back today to be checked again, on the knowledge that if her temperature wasn’t much better, she was going to be staying in for a couple of days with an IV drip etc. to sort her out. Fortunately, she is much better, temperature’s back down to normal, and it looks like the jabs have done their job.
We’re not out of the woods yet with her – we’ve got two weeks of antibiotics and Metoclopramide to give her, as well as three days of something that’ll help her cough up the shit that’s still in her lungs. But the indications are positive for now, and all told we’re much happier again about her health.
Reorganising and Rationalising
Posted: Fri 23 October, 2009 Filed under: Five Year Plan (now Ten), Getting Organised, Photography, Web Development, Writing Leave a comment »As part of the run-up to my birthday – and yet another of the “Five Year Plan” rundowns, as at that point I’ll be 3/5ths of the way through – I’ve been starting to think about some site organisations and rationalising a few bits of what I’m doing.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m anywhere even close to having sensible levels of life/work, but I’m trying to do something about some of it, at least. In some ways, weirdly, it means I’m going to have more to manage, but that’s OK too.
One of the projects I’d had on the cards this year was to merge my ‘creative’ sites together, so that the Photography and Writing stuff would all sit under one roof. I did it back in April/May time, and what it’s actually meant is that I’ve not added much to either site – which of course wasn’t the expected action at all. So I’m spending a bit of time separating the sites again, and going back to (almost) how they were a year ago. Retrograde steps or what?
In hindsight, while it was logical to think about putting the two ‘creative’ sides into one place, the two bits don’t actually go together all that well. Putting the two in one place led to more separation and confusion than the seperate sites did/will, and while in some aspects it’s now a wasted effort, at least I know for sure that the idea didn’t work, and (to some degree) why it didn’t. Sure, it’s annoying. But like the man said, “It’s better to regret something you have done than something you haven’t”.
There’s other bits of rationalisation and thought in the offing, but that’s the starting point. I’m sure I’ll write more of the other stuff over the next two weeks. For in two weeks time, I shall be 38. And that’s pretty scary in itself.
BNP at the BBC
Posted: Thu 22 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, News, Thoughts Leave a comment »Despite all the protesting – and perhaps in spite of it – I don’t have an issue with the BNP’s Nick Griffin appearing tonight on the BBC’s Question Time. In fact, I think it’s quite amusing that the anti-fascist movement are the ones trying to stop someone they don’t like from being able to speak.
One of the taglines here on D4D is “I may not like what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”. This is a perfect example of that. I don’t like the BNP’s policies, nor most of the people who represent them. I feel/felt the same about UKIP, which (in my opinion) was just a posher version of the BNP when you got right down to it.
But I do think that Nick Griffin should appear on things like Question Time. In fact I’d go so far as to say it’s essential he appears.
After all, if he’s silenced and/or censored, you don’t get to see what a vile knobsock the man is. If he’s allowed to speak, people can hear the BNP’s policies and realise what hate-filled shit it is (And let’s face it, the BNP really should be supported by the Daily Mail) and decide not to vote for them. Yes, there’s the chance that some people will hear the vitriolic little pig-fucker and think he’s “Got the right idea” but there we go, that’s freedom of choice for you.
But let Nick Griffin speak out on behalf of his party – he’ll fuck things up for himself and his party far faster than any censorship can do it.
iPlayer access
Posted: Thu 22 October, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Media Leave a comment »Tits.
I was going to download and watch BBC’s “Micro Men” on iPlayer, but have just discovered that it’s now past the seven days since transmission, so it’s no longer available.
I know that keeping lots of videos/files available for more than a week is a massive load of data, but every so often it’s a real ball-ache to only be able to get stuff for seven days. Particularly when I’m a forgetful twat.
15 Laws, 11 Minutes
Posted: Wed 21 October, 2009 Filed under: Driving, News, Thoughts Leave a comment »Even by my standards, this particular story of a driver in Switzerland who broke 15 laws in 11 minutes is pretty impressive.
The list included :
- overtaking an unmarked police car in heavy rain at 100mph
- speeding
- driving on the hard shoulder
- running a set of red lights
- failing to stop for police.
And after all that, he also (unsurprisingly, I suppose) also failed a drugs test.
I suppose if you’re going to do it, you might as well it properly.
Misheard
Posted: Tue 20 October, 2009 Filed under: Driving, News, Thoughts Leave a comment »Sometimes, mishearing a story on the news can make it so much more interesting.
Today while driving to work I was sure – twice, no less – that I’d heard a story about the Buddhist National Party using photos of the military in its advertising.
Turns out, it was actually the British National Party who were doing so.
But still, the Buddhist National Party? I’d vote for ’em.
Mail and Moir
Posted: Mon 19 October, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Media, News, Thoughts 1 Comment »While we were away over the weekend, I kind of missed the furore about Jan Moir’s Daily Mail column about the death of Stephen Gately in which she spreads more rumours and bigoted claptrap than I’d wish to read.
What surprised me more though was the number of complaints about this article. (At the time of writing this, the PCC has received more than 21,000 complaints) Yes, it’s an offensive, bigoted piece and breaches three conditions of the PCC code of conduct – and let’s not forget that Paul Dacre, the editor of the Daily Mail, is also the chief honcho at the Press Complaints Committee. Oh, the irony. But really, when did anyone expect anything but hate-filled, bigoted writing from that shit-stain rag which camoflages it’s vitriol and hatred as ‘news’?
As Deeply Flawed But Trying wrote far better than I can, the Daily Mail has a long and vicious history of being a nasty hate-filled rag of bigotry and loathing. Hell, most of the time it doesn’t even like its own readers, let alone the rest of the nation/world. Charlie Brooker (as usual) had his own well-written point of view on it too.
I’m glad to see the Daily Mail being complained about at epic levels – but it should’ve happened years ago. I’d love to see the Daily Mail sued for inciting racial hatred, religious hatred, and homophobia. It’s a divisive, nasty, vindictive rag, and should incur the wrath of balanced people every day – not just for one ill-written article on one day.
Scareware and AntiVirus
Posted: Mon 19 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Geeky, Thoughts Leave a comment »Today the BBC has been carrying the story about “Millions” being taken in by scareware scams, where pop-up ads on web pages tell people they’ve got a virus and to download ‘this antivirus software’ to fix it. At best the ‘antivirus software’ is useless, and the person’s credit-card number is sold for use in credit-card fraud. At worst, the “anti-virus” actually contains viruses (virii?) and trojans that make the computer less secure, rather than more.
Now of course there are lots of idots out there who will fall for this kind of thing. But to my mind, it’s not just those people’s faults – both PC Manufacturers and ISPs need to take some of the responsibility too.
It doesn’t take a lot to get decent anti-virus software. Go to Grisoft, and get the free AVG anti-virus software (free for personal use) and job done. There’s plenty of others too – Kaspersky, Avast, so on, so forth.
But people still have to know about these, rather than using the clusterfuck shitpieces like Norton, McAfee that come with most PCs and that people never use – or just assume that it’s installed, so Everything’s OK. Not knowing that they need to subscribe, and make sure it’s updated regularly (for which read daily, rather than monthly)
So why don’t the ISPs supply a free antivirus like AVG, Avast or Kaspersky on the CD you invariably get? Why don’t PC builders install a free anti-virus with the PC rather than the paid-for POS software? (Of course, we know that PC Builders like Dell etc. must get some whacking kickback fee for providing paid-for software, which is the reason)
If computers were provided with free anti-virus that didn’t require any further financial investment or effort from Joe Everyday-User, there’d be a lot less problems of this sort.
Body Scanning
Posted: Mon 19 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Media, Thoughts, Travel, Weirdness 2 Comments »In another breakthrough for idiocy, I see that the ‘see through’ scanner being tested at Manchester Airport has raised a problem that no-one appears to have thought of before now.
This scanner goes through clothes, and shows what has been termed (incorrectly) an ‘X-ray image’, which is more of an MRI body-scan, as I understand it. What it does is show (in black/white ‘ghost’ form) an image of the naked body.
And lo, they’ve suddenly thought “Oh shit, what happens when young people go through the scanner? It means we can see underage bodies…” so they’ve now stopped doing the scans on all under-18s.
Absolute brilliance – in all the hype, not one person in the media (or in the project itself) has said “Hang on, what about this scenario?”.
Strikebreaking
Posted: Sun 18 October, 2009 Filed under: Business, Stupidity, Thoughts 2 Comments »As I’ve said before, I don’t understand the point of strikes, as they do more to ruin the future of the business than anything else would. The current one, of course, is the upcoming Royal Mail strike which I’ve also written some thoughts about before.
It’s come out in the news today that Royal Mail plan to employ some 30,000 temps to work while the strike is going on, and thus keep the business going. And I’ve got to say, I think that’s the right message to send. The people who’ve been talking about going on strike say it’s “to keep their jobs” – when all it’s really going to do is drive more people away from using Royal Mail, and will thus screw their jobs in the long-term anyway.
In my opinion, this move by Royal Mail is a statement of “You’re not going to kill our business. We’ll keep going” and it shows that going on strike might just cost the union workers their jobs anyway.
Taking a Break
Posted: Fri 16 October, 2009 Filed under: Animals, D4D™, Domestic, Travel Leave a comment »Today, Herself and I are off down to Berkshire for the weekend. Partly it’s about seeing friends in the area, partly just for a weekend away from the world, and partly just because.
Hound is coming with us and will go off to stay with the people she used to see when we were down there, so she’ll be happy.
Psycho Cat will have the house to himself for the weekend (we’ve got one of the family to pop in for purposes of feeding/watering, and dealing with the chickens) so he’ll be as happy as he ever is – although he’ll also cop a strop when we get home, because we’ve brought Hound back with us.
The Girls won’t care one way or another, so long as they’re let out, fed, watered, get their eggs collected, and get put away at night.
So all told, everyone should be happy.
D4D™, on the other hand, might be a bit quiet. Depends how many things I get to write and set up for future publishing, really.
Site Difficulties
Posted: Thu 15 October, 2009 Filed under: D4D™ 3 Comments »Some of you may have noticed some problems over the last few days with getting D4D™ to load.
For once, this wasn’t down to me being a fuckwit and messing something up, but instead down to some problems with my hosting company.
Initially they lost all connectivity and everything on them disappeared completely from t’Internet, although that got fixed pretty quickly. When that all got restarted though, it appears that another user of the server cluster D4D™ is on was doing Something Naughty, which led to further outages for D4D™ and some other ones I deal with.
All should be back to normal now, but I thought I’d just post it up in case anyone cared.
Criminal Mastermind
Posted: Wed 14 October, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, Stupidity Leave a comment »Some people really are too stupid to live, in my opinion.
In this case, a fugitive fraudster who decided he’d keep on updating his Facebook page and is then amazed when the police catch up with him.
Cameroon-born Maxi Sopo’s messages made it clear he was living the high life in the Mexican resort of Cancun.
He also added a former US justice department official to his friend list who ended up helping to track him down.
The criminal genius at work…
Gagging the Press
Posted: Tue 13 October, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, Media, News Leave a comment »While Private Eye covered this in some detail last week, the shit appears to have officially hit the fan today with the Guardian’s announcement that it has been barred from mentioning a certain question to be asked in Parliament this week. From the story…
Today’s published Commons order papers contain a question to be answered by a minister later this week. The Guardian is prevented from identifying the MP who has asked the question, what the question is, which minister might answer it, or where the question is to be found.
The Guardian is also forbidden from telling its readers why the paper is prevented – for the first time in memory – from reporting parliament. Legal obstacles, which cannot be identified, involve proceedings, which cannot be mentioned, on behalf of a client who must remain secret.
The only fact the Guardian can report is that the case involves the London solicitors Carter-Ruck, who specialise in suing the media for clients, who include individuals or global corporations.
The question (according to other sources) is about Trafigura, and their toxic oil dump back in 2007. And this is what it’s all about…
61 N: Paul Farrelly (Newcastle-under-Lyme): To ask the Secretary of State for Justice, what assessment he has made of the effectiveness of legislation to protect (a) whistleblowers and (b) press freedom following the injunctions obtained in the High Court by (i) Barclays and Freshfields solicitors on 19 March 2009 on the publication of internal Barclays reports documenting alleged tax avoidance schemes and (ii) Trafigura and Carter-Ruck solicitors on 11 September 2009 on the publication of the Minton report on the alleged dumping of toxic waste in the Ivory Coast, commissioned by Trafigura.
It’s all publicly available in this list of Parliamentary questions – which makes the entire media-gagging order look pretty fucking stupid, and more and more as though Trafigura et al. have something to hide. Which is pretty fucking stupid in itself.
Writing Tasks
Posted: Sun 11 October, 2009 Filed under: Five Year Plan (now Ten), The '09 Writing Project, Writing Leave a comment »Now that I’ve got the new job sorted, I’m hoping to take the time to look at what I want to do.
I know there’s the five-year plan, and that’s still ongoing. There’s plans and ideas that still need to be put into action, and I’m working on those slowly but surely. I’ll get there – although that five-year plan might still end up as a six or seven year plan, with the other stuff that’s been going on.
At the same time the last few weeks has also made me think about other options, whether this web geekery stuff is really for me. I think in general it is, because I like doing a lot of the stuff still. But I’ve ended up working with a lot of bell-ends this year, and a number of people who really weren’t up to the standards they said they were. All of which leads to a fair dollop of disillusionment.
So while I’m doing this proper job, I’m going to aim to get a couple of writing projects started. Again, this is kind of revisitng something I said I’d do back at the start of the year, and that I haven’t got round to. The aim is still the same, to have something done by the end of the year.
I’ve still got the time to get some stuff written, and draft out a couple of ideas as well. I just need to be more organised about taking the time to do some writing, I think.
Beach Day
Posted: Sat 10 October, 2009 Filed under: Animals, Domestic, Norfolk Leave a comment »We spent a lot of today at the beach for Wells-next-the-Sea with Hound and Maisie, the black lab of the out-laws.
Wells is a fantastic place for dogs – particularly while the tide’s out – and they’ve both had a fantastic time today. Of course, Hound’s knackered now, although that’s part of the bonus of the beach – two hours there will knacker most dogs.
All told though, a good way to spend a Saturday. In the sun, on a beach, throwing a ball on a rope for idiot dogs.
Still Snotty
Posted: Fri 9 October, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Health Leave a comment »This cold is beginning to really piss me off now.
I don’t know why, but when I get colds, they seem to last a lot longer than they do with other people. Maybe it just feels that way.
In this case, the “winding down” phase of it has lasted all this week, and I’m still feeling somewhat snotty now. I’ve had good days and bad days with it, but I’m bored of it now and just want it to Go The Hell Away.
After all, it would be nice to start the new job on Monday without feeling like shit.
Fuck You, Tesco
Posted: Thu 8 October, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season Leave a comment »
In an early front-runner for “Smuggest advert of the Festering Season”, the fuckstick bastards at Tesco have dropped a blinder. Not just smug and insanely early, but as sexist and shit as it’s possible to be.
A rough version of the text (it’s engraved in my brain having seen the cocking advert once) goes as follows…
Toys.
Come December 25th there’ll be Action Man for boys and Barbie for girls.
And yes, we know it’s only October. But Christmas comes quickly round here.
Smug overbearing materialistic shit-flogging sexist fuckbag cunts. Fuck off with your shite, you weaselly tossbags.
iEverything
Posted: Thu 8 October, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Festering Season 2 Comments »
The latest marketing ‘trend’ seems to be to emulate Apple by branding any given product with an “i” at the start, in the theme of iPod, iPhone, iDontCare etc. etc.
The one that boggles my brain more than usual in the current adverts is the Babyliss iTrim. It’s a fucking razor. Nothing iconic, nothing trendy. A fucking electric razor. That’s it.
Of course, we’re now in the advertising run-up to the Festering Season, so it’s all go for adverts about shit like this, so I’m sure it’s not going to be the last product this year with an i at the start of the name.
It’s still bullshit though. Sorry, iBullshit.
Chopped and Chipped
Posted: Tue 6 October, 2009 Filed under: Festering Season, News, Thoughts 2 Comments »
Now this is my kind of Christmas Spirit.
Random mobs of ‘tree-surgeons’ going round, cutting down christmas trees and shoving them through the chipping machine.
Sadly it’s not the case in this instance, which appears to be more “mistaken identity” than “Bloody christmas”.
Which is a pity.
Still, it gives me an idea for later in the year…
Rain
Posted: Tue 6 October, 2009 Filed under: General 1 Comment »It’s absolutely chucking it down outside – and I’m really pleased to see it.
Where we live, I don’t think there’s been a decent dollop of rain in about two months. The water-butts certainly haven’t filled up in that time.
So yes, I’m happy to see that it’s raining here today. The animals aren’t overly happy about it of course – Psycho Cat was outside and is currently soaked and lying on the bed, and Hound is also deeply soggy having been chucked out while I cleaned up the dollops of puke she’d scattered in the hallway.
Yes, it’s seriously glamorous, being back at home for a few days…
First Stone
Posted: Tue 6 October, 2009 Filed under: Domestic, Health, Weight Loss Leave a comment »Last night, I finally officially got rid of my first full stone of weight. It’s taken a while, although some of that is because of the working-away of the last six weeks, where I have slipped a few times and not been quite as good as I should’ve been.
All the same, I’m still pleased with having lost that stone. I’ve a fair way to go – this means I’m halfway through my first phase of the weightloss – I finally feel like I’m beginning to make some progress with it.
Getting Arty
Posted: Sun 4 October, 2009 Filed under: General Leave a comment »Taken while out with Sevitz and Dragon on Wednesday…
Taken while we were sat outside the Concrete bar – I just liked the imagery.
Press What?
Posted: Sun 4 October, 2009 Filed under: People, Stupidity, Travel Leave a comment »Seen on the train home on Friday…
As it happens, the actual “Flush” button is hidden behind the loo-seat, so you have to put the seat-cover thing down before you can flush the toilet.
But I do wonder how many people have tried (and failed) to flush these toilets by pressing on that handrail…
Fading Out
Posted: Fri 2 October, 2009 Filed under: D4D™, Weirdness Leave a comment »Here on D4D™ the single most popular post has been one I made back in January 2005 about the government’s plan to stop the painkiller co-proxamol from being prescribed. At the time of writing, it’s got 744 comments, and became almost like a forum for people ordering c0-proxamol overseas etc.
Strangely though, it seems that everyone has stopped using that post over the last month or so.
There’s possibly a few reasons for this…
- The regular commenters have all gone somewhere else
- The issue has disappeared entirely underground now
- They can’t find the page since I stuffed about with the URLs a while back.
I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t really mind one way or the other. It’s just odd to have gone from at least a couple of comments per day to nothing for a month.
Ah well.
Too little, too late
Posted: Thu 1 October, 2009 Filed under: Cynicism, News, Thoughts Leave a comment »There’s a story on the BBC today – a headline story, no less – that extra police patrols have been placed on the street in Leicestershire where Fiona Pilkington lived with her daughter before killing them both after years of taunts and intimidation.
Ms Pilkington killed herself and her 18-year-old daughter when she set fire to her car in a lay-by in October 2007.
So it’s taken two years for those extra patrols to be put in place – conveniently (from a media and PR perspective) just after the inquest verdict came out that the lack of action/response on the part of police was at least partially to blame for the deaths.
Talk about locking the stable door once the horse has bolted. In this case that horse has run away, broken its leg, been put down and turned into glue before Leicestershire police have got round to doing anything about it.
Way too little, way too late.
Priorities
Posted: Wed 30 September, 2009 Filed under: Charm School, Cynicism, News, Thoughts 2 Comments »Today I’ve found myself repeatedly annoyed by news coverage.
There appear to be two main stories today :
- Tsunamis kill at least 90 people in Pacific
- The Sun newspaper changes allegiance from Labour to Conservative
Yet every media outlet I’ve seen today has those stories in the opposite order, and that annoys me.
Somehow, UK politics appear to have taken precedence over (at least) 90 people being killed.





















